Summary:
In today’s episode, we talk about how our home lives have shifted since Covid hit, highlighting the many positives and few negatives of working more from home with families right in the mix. We share our feelings of guilt when time is not spent wisely with family and business. We also discuss actionable ways that YOU can create a more balanced life, taking into account differences in personality and company culture. At a time when creating work/life boundaries is more important than ever, we explore that “perfect” balance for a more effective existence.
Top 4 Curtain Pulls in this episode:
For more tips, discussion, and behind the scenes:
About The Guys:
Bob Hutchins: Founder of BuzzPlant, a digital agency that he ran from from 2000 -2017. He is also the author of 3 books. More on Bob:
Brad Ayres: Founder of Anthem Republic, an award-winning ad agency. Brad’s knowledge has led some of the biggest brands in the world. Originally from Detroit, Brad is an OG in the ad agency world and has the wisdom and scars to prove it. Currently that knowledge is being applied to his boutique agency. More on Brad:
Ken Ott: Co-Founder and Chief Growth Rebel of Metacake, an Ecommerce Growth Team for some of the world’s most influential brands with a mission to Grow Brands That Matter. Ken is also an author, speaker, and was nominated for an Emmy for his acting on the Metacake Youtube Channel (not really). More on Ken:
Show Notes:
[0:35] Bob welcomes everyone to the show, and tells us about Brad’s cool ride for the day.
[3:00] Brad shares about his BMW motorcycle hobby, with a peek into his early first career as a BMX racer (just kidding! Kind of)
[3:50] Bob introduces this week’s episode, lamenting the joys and pains of parenthood. Finding balance between work and life is difficult always, but now more than ever there are challenges.
[4:50] Ken shares that he had a business before he had kids, and now there are still both going on. The stakes have gotten higher, being able to provide and participate in parenting while working from home during Corona.
[6:34] Brad asks “Do you ever feel guilt? That your kids are in the same house and that you’re ignoring them?”
[6:37] Ken: “It comes up for sure.”
[6:39] Brad shares the internal battle for himself, and expresses that with older children that are high-school aged, it’s tempting to hang out with them and spend time, because it’s different from when they were younger. Time together sounds fun and it can be hard to draw those boundaries while working from home.
[7:55] Ken shares that this experience is had by everybody with a family, but is exaggerated when you own a business. Work isn’t an inherently bad thing, and it’s important to demonstrate that for your kids.
[9:00] Bob says that it’s a great thing for kids to see their parent devoted to work for a set time during the day, there is a noble quality to demonstrating to children what that healthy balance looks like.
[11:30] Bob says that as a business owner, it can be tempting to hop back online after dinner and work until midnight. But you have to resist that, and know that it’s not what’s best for you or your work at that moment.
[12:00] Brad shares that in the early days, he was so passionate about his business that it became his hobby as well. But that has changed, as he has found other hobbies that he likes even more!
[13:15] Ken says that one rule he uses is not looking at his phone when he wakes up.
[15:28] Brad shares that when the Industrial revolution happened, overnight shifts and continuous work was suddenly an option, and it ruined our sleep patterns and circadian rhythms. Bright lights on 24/7 means no real natural markers for rest.
[17:25] Bob talks about creating intentional windows of memorable moments for your children, and the importance of that for your mental health as well as their development.
[19:02] Brad reflects on how sometimes as the “hard worker” mentality of working to support your family can create a martyr mindset, where the burnout you experience becomes a direct correlation with how much you’re sacrificing yourself for them.
[21:00] Ken reflects on the mental strength of mental muscle building of shutting off the worry that comes with agency ownership. Your mental energy is worth the exercise in self-control, and is something that gradually changes and increases over time.
[22:00] Brad shares that he schedules that down time and recharge time on a micro-scale as well. His most productive time of day is morning before noon, so the more difficult tasks that might require more brain power and/or mental energy aren’t best done in the afternoon.
[24:00] Ken shares that he uses a 5-minute Journal each day, morning and night, to reset his focus on reflect on the day from a perspective of gratitude instead of everything that went wrong. Incorporating this into your morning and nightime routine is a game-changer.
[26:00] Bob adds that delegating that time appropriately between family and work is important for everyone, but especially if you're trying to grow a business. Because as that business grows you’ll just have more and more content to suck up your energy. If you don’t know how to delegate early on, it WILL catch up with you!
[26:56] Ken: “How I use my time is hundreds of times more important than how I spend my money or how I use something else.” Learning to say no to things, to put your time into things that you only get one shot at when it’s important (like your family), and delegate energy for the work that you need to do- that is the true test of finding balance.
[30:00] Bob stresses the importance of engaging in your kids lives in ways that they will appreciate. Find their passions and engage in those with them, create those lasting memories with them and be intentional about it.
[32:35] Bob shares that different personality types mean that recharging and establishing new habits and routines will look different. For him, making time for himself and setting himself up for success means everything else around him sort of falls into place.
[37:06] Brad: “One of the things that I’ve learned is that I cannot live my life being reactive. I have to be proactive.” Timelines and pressures of agency life can make you feel like you’re just reactive all the time. Which leads to feeling out of control, or you feel the adrenaline rush and get hooked on it.
[38:51] Bob asks what some daily rituals are that Ken and Brad have that make a difference for them.
[42:26] Ken says that daily exercise is the most life changing thing for him. He’s also struggled to find a hobby that isn’t related to work in some way- that new hobby is road biking. It’s been a journey to learn more about it and pick it up, but the process of finding a new passion has been awesome.
[46:00] Bob speaks to the importance of time and making sure you’re living in the present. In reality, there is no such thing as “tomorrow”, but only this moment. By comparing yourself to past actions, future promises, outside pressures- you’re immediately walking away from the present moment.
[47:38] Ken: “The more you understand about your mind, the more that you can understand how to make it do what you want ti to do, and also create disciplines around yourself so that you don't have to worry about missing something or what might mess up in the future.”
[48:26] Brad reflects on his own anxieties and says that although his business is incredibly stable, he feels an overwhelming sense of things being on the verge of collapse at any moment. “Some of the things that helped me, what you mentioned is this idea of gratefulness and writing things down.. Being grateful helps you to relieve the anxiety of the things you can’t control.”