A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. You are those who have stood by me in my trials. And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me, so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel (Luke 22:24-30). Years ago, early in my years as a pastor, I used to get asked a question about marriage. All sorts of occasions gave rise to the question. Yet, each situation had a common element: husband and wife were having a disagreement. The question I got asked was always the same, “Who gets to make the final decision?”
I admit that at first, I got taken in by the question and attempted to respond with a sound biblical and theological answer. After some years of experience in preaching and pastoral care, I came to realize that the question itself was a problem. The question I was being asked, “Which of us gets the final decision?” is in essence the same as the one Jesus’ disciples were debating, “Which of us is the greatest?”
It’s the height of irony. As Jesus faces his death and Judas engages in betrayal, the disciples worry about their status before Jesus. Which one of them is the greatest. They are concerned with their role in any future kingdom Jesus brings in. Power, not service, dominates their thinking.
It’s the same everywhere. Why all the division in our society today? Is it not about power? Why so many heated debates in the church? Is it not that each of us wants our ideas to win the day? We may say that they are about biblical truth and the purity of the church which are important matters in and of themselves. However, our debates quickly leave the high-mindedness of these virtues and descend into power plays and backroom dealings and extra meetings in the church parking lots (well, that was before ZOOM).
The dispute is significant because it impacts the unity of the community. Jesus’ disciples are to be different from the world in the way they exercise their roles. Kings and rulers wield power and “lord it over” the people. That is not the type of leadership Jesus calls for. Ruling in Jesus’ dictionary means service, not power. Elitism and debate about status are out.
The disciples have a special role to play in Jesus’ kingdom. They will sit at the banquet, and they will rule, but not because they are the greatest. They are to lead by serving. In the world, the leader gets all the perks and receives service. She wields power and authority with a recognition that rank gives the right to direct and coerce into action.
Jesus’ approach is the exact opposite. Leadership is not attaining a rank that allows one to exercise authority with one’s own interests in mind. Leadership is a responsibility and a trust to exercise one’s skills and energies to serve those who are led. To our shame, the church still does not understand this. Jesus’ own ministry indicates how central this perspective was in his thinking. He ministered to the poor, the rejected of society, the sick, those of different race and gender, children, or anyone who had a need. Position and status meant nothing to him. The church still needs such service and such an attitude today.
The question regarding marriage is rooted in Ephesians 5:22–33. I needed to notice that it says nothing about the exercise of power. Rather, the passage exhorts husbands to mirror Christ, who gave his body for his bride and the passage calls on them to nourish and cherish their partners.
Leadership, and headship for that matter, do not call for the raw exercise of power, but a sensitive display of compassion, care, and service. Real leadership serves, even when no one is looking. God exalts those who humble themselves, even as they lead by serving.