Control Freak Christianity: Recent Episodes
Joe & Rachel Tenney
Thousands of people have been taught forms of Christianity that led them into more bondage than freedom. Why do we feel like we have been enslaved by the truth when it’s supposed to set us free?
Join your hosts, Joe and Rachel Tenney, as they discuss how to fight disillusionment, and move forward in the hope of Jesus Christ. This is the Control Freak Christianity podcast.
What does God’s rescue of the Israelites from Egypt have to do with your healing from trauma or spiritual abuse? In this live episode, we explore how the Exodus wasn’t just about escape—it was about transformation. God’s first command to His people after slavery was to rest. Why? Because He was teaching them to live as sons, not slaves. If you’ve come out of a controlling, legalistic, or abusive environment, this truth can change everything. Join us as we unpack the deep connection between Sabbath, identity, and healing in Christ.
We return, older, wiser, and more sleep deprived than ever to discuss the tough stuff around spiritual abuse in Christianity.
Why are we called Control Freak Christianity and why are we here?
We recognize the reality that there are control freaks who love to use the name of Jesus and His church for their own selfish purposes. It's all over the Bible, though it's rarely talked about in churches. Joe and Rachel introduce this topic and why we need to address control freaks in Christianity, today.
Listen in as Joe and Rachel talk through seven devotional thoughts Rachel wrote for Advent after being disappointed by the advent devotionals she picked up this year. Whether you love or hate Christmas, we hope that digging a little deeper into the theology of Christmas encourages your heart this season. WARNING: May contain nerdy tangents and the bashing of Gnostic heresies.
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LINKS:
WATCH this episode as a video on YouTube! https://youtu.be/WVfGS8Rurh8
Watch Rachel's full advent video series here: bit.ly/advent-biz-devotionals
Support Our Podcast: https://www.patreon.com/controlfreakc...
In a series of letters to a fictional girl, Doug Wilson gives advice on how to handle being a victim of sexual abuse. Joe and Rachel are joined by Bethany Tenney, a real survivor, to discuss the quality of that advice in light of her experiences and the hope she has found in God and the Scriptures.
Support Our Channel: https://www.patreon.com/controlfreakc...
Original Source of "Letters to a Broken Girl" by Doug Wilson: https://dougwils.com/tag/letters-to-a...
This episode contains various accounts of abuse against women and children.
John MacArthur is a well-known pastor of Grace Community Church, as well as an author and commonly heard voice on the radio. Recently, troubling details of a church discipline, carried out by John MacArthur in 2001, indicates poor judgment and improper use of church discipline. Joe and Rachel discuss how the legacy of John MacArthur has impacted their own lives and how they are thinking through the issues that arise from these allegations.
We are created in the Image of God. What does this mean, and how does it impact how we live? Join Joe and Rachel as they discuss ways we get Imago Dei right, and ways we can get it wrong.
The holidays can bring with them a lot of expectations, especially from family. Joe and Rachel talk about their different perspectives on holiday cheer, how to have healthy boundaries over the holidays, and examples of Jesus' boundaries in Scripture.
Joe and Rachel share news of recent spiritual abuse and how it's affecting them, their church, friends, and even the podcast.
Many raised in Authoritarian Fundamentalism struggle to be as productive as they believe they should. Have they been set up for failure with shame, fear, idealism, and perfectionism eating away at their abilities? Joe and Rachel discuss this along with their own struggles to work well.
Courtship led to some crazy stories, right? And yet, even more bizarre ideas are trying to take root out in the world of Authoritarian Fundamentalism. Joe and Rachel go through a book written to convince Christians of the virtues of betrothal and arranged marriages.
Cults can be wildly different in beliefs, organization, teachings, and operations. But the culture of cults can be in things that seem innocuous on the surface. Inside Christianity, whether in churches, movements, families, or organizations, cult-like practices can cause incredible damage. Join Joe and Rachel as they discuss twelve things that can demonstrate cult-like behavior in a community.
Already we live in a world that mishandles sex. The Church can run the range of ignoring sex in embarrassment and shame, to glorifying it similarly to how the world does. Do men have a visual Rolodex? Should sex be pleasurable for both men and women? How does pornography and self-pity play a part in Christians' understanding of sex? Joe and Rachel talk about some of the ways they understood sex to how they understand it now.
A letter, written to Rachel's father, demanding her hand in marriage is a perfect example of spiritual abuse in a Christian courtship. Rachel relives her past anguish in this episode as she, along with Joe, read and comment on a real-life letter as an example of manipulation and narcissism.
Most people caught in abusive relationships have trouble navigating the many tactics that abusive people use to control, manipulate, and confuse. Joe and Rachel cover a list of tactics they've observed, and how those tactics work.
Why do abusers who have hatred for those whom they abuse, try to hang on to them and keep them around? This effect is exemplified in the popular 'Harry Potter' books. Rachel nerds out on Harry Potter while Joe hangs on for the ride as they discuss how this dynamic is common in abusive situations.
What happens when dealing with abusive people and a friendship that started on the internet blend together? Romance of course! Well, at least it did for Joe and Rachel. Join them in this lighthearted episode as they recount their dating story and what they learned along the way.
The popular book series for girls by Martha Finley written over a century ago continues to be a phenomenon for many in fundamentalist and home-educated circles. They are beloved by many and hated by many more. Joe and Rachel discuss different excerpts from the books and give their own evaluations.
Elijah fought against Israel's slide into Ba'al worship, but there didn't seem to be any impact from his work. God tells him the three men who will bring an end to Ba'al worship but the consequences are staggering. Join Joe and Rachel as they discuss this dark part of Scripture, and how we still see glimmers of hope.
Elijah, who had been so faithful was on the run because Jezabel wants him dead. He runs and has a conversation with God. We can see how Elijah's wrestling can help us when our faithfulness leads us to suffer. Join Joe and Rachel as they discuss Elijah, God, and how we can heal well in our darkest moments.
How can we change massive societal evils? What can we do to face unfaithfulness in God's people. We are not the first to face these challenges.
We have heard a lot about Elijah the prophet. He mocked false gods, prayed and God sent fire from heaven. But Elijah was attempting to end the practices of Ba'al worship that plagued Israel. Join Joe and Rachel as we look at his struggle, what it cost him, and what we can learn from how God worked through Elijah.
You might think that people who've endured terrible abuse would be kind and understanding to others who face similar abuse, but this is often not the case. Joe and Rachel talk through some of the reasons some victims are obstacles for healing for others, and why it's hard to help others with their trauma when you haven't dealt with your own.
Using the Bible for wrong purposes is common, and perhaps no passage has been misused more than Matthew 18:15-20. Joe and Rachel give a few thoughts that shed light on this important section of Scripture and show how abusers misuse this passage.
It's already created quite the impact. A letter, written over a year ago from a well-known theologian and ethicist, Dr. Russell Moore, has been leaked. The letter includes some very troubling allegations that, if true, would demonstrate corruption in the heart of the largest conservative denomination in America. Joe and Rachel discuss the letter, how they and others are thinking about it, and how it lines up with their own understanding of what's going on in American churches.
Read the letter in full:
https://religionnews.com/2021/06/02/leaked-russell-moore-letter-blasts-sbc-conservatives-sheds-light-on-his-resignation/
Support our work!
https://www.patreon.com/controlfreakchristianity
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www.bytesizedtheology.com/forte
Joe and Rachel are completely unscripted as they spill the tea about their past fashion faux pas while growing up in homeschooling sub-cultures. Have you ever wondered why you can spot a homeschooler in a crowd? This episode is a light-hearted conversation about some of the reasoning behind why homeschoolers dress the way they do.
A special thanks to Forte Music Academy for supporting us. Check out their online catalog of composer training!
www.bytesizedtheology.com/forte
Job received bad counsel from his friends in the midst of his suffering. What are some of the bad things that Job's friends told him and does it sound like advice we give today? Join Joe and Rachel for this episode to explore what kind of advice makes God angry, and what we can say instead.
Jesus will cleanse His bride. How does this truth affect how we should see the church and address evils inside the church? In this episode, Joe and Rachel talk of how to take part in the work of Jesus, while relying on Jesus' promises for His church.
Former TLC star from "19 Kids and Counting," Josh Duggar has been charged in Federal court with possessing Child Pornography.
He is yet another conservative Christian that has shown a horrific willingness to abuse others. Joe and Rachel discuss how they used to hold similar beliefs as the Duggars. God has helped Joe and Rachel come to freedom, perhaps He will show the same grace to members of the Duggar family.
Previous episodes mentioned:
Episode 22, 'Why is there so much Sexual Abuse in Authoritarian Fundamentalism?'
https://controlfreakchristianity.libsyn.com/why-is-there-so-much-sexual-abuse-in-authoritarian-fundamentalism
Episode 47, 'True or Cheap Repentance'
https://controlfreakchristianity.libsyn.com/true-or-cheap-repentance
Episode 49, 'The Quiverful Movement'
https://controlfreakchristianity.libsyn.com/the-quiverfull-movement
Spiritual Warfare is often either over-emphasized or ignored. Joe and Rachel discuss their own experiences, Jesus' dealing with temptation, and the confidence Christians can have against the enemy.
For centuries, teachings of Kinism (and similar doctrines) have infiltrated the church justifying many evils. Joe and Rachel talk of their own upbringings and exposures to racist ideologies, along with some of their own thoughts on how to begin to think of racial issues.
Politics have been crazy and Christians are all over the map when it comes to political involvement and positions. Joe and Rachel discuss their own political experiences and talk about what a healthy understanding of politics in the life of the Christian can look like.
Joe and Rachel have a raw and unscripted conversation about a rarely addressed topic - that people have fantasies, imaginative worlds, and daydreams. Is that even ok? Join us for the discussion!
The Quiverfull movement, and similar movements, teach that all birth control is wrong, and families should produce as many children as possible. Joe and Rachel discuss some of the thoughts, beliefs, and arguments of the Quiverfull movement, along with the truth and freedom found in the Bible.
In a world where internet experts and armchair theorists abound, Joe and Rachel discuss the importance of listening to people who actually live out their own ideas. How can we tell if somebody is a practitioner? How do we know if their practice is healthy and good? And what does a practitioner learn from engaging in real life?
Co-hosts Joe and Rachel discuss the core Christian doctrine of repentance and how it is often dealt with cheaply. From abusers faking repentance to save face, to large numbers of Christians being gullible because they don't regularly walk in repentance, much discussion and work is needed on this topic.
The sexual abuse of famed evangelist and apologist, Ravi Zacharias, is in the open. We know he shamefully used his ministry for selfish reasons, harming and abusing others in the process. Joe and Rachel have an unscripted conversation on the ordeal and what it means for Christians and the Church.
This episode contains a detailed account of abuse.
Joe and Rachel discuss an example of abuse from Joe's life and how God faithfully met Joe in many moments of darkness.
Previous guests, Bethany and Adia, return to talk about the cost they had to pay to publically share their stories. All of us benefitted from each of their first visits with co-hosts Joe and Rachel, but few know how much hardship those interviews brought them. From being attacked by people who didn't like what they had to say, to reopening wounds that came with intense grief, these two women share their insights and experiences.
A shallow understanding of suffering can easily lead to trite Christian sayings or quoting a Bible verse without compassion. Joe and Rachel discuss the heart of God, our need for comfort, and how we should seek to comfort others in their suffering.
Abusers are not the only ones to blame for cultures of abuse. The enablers, those who stand by and don't resist abuse, bear culpability as well. Joe and Rachel touch on the biblical theology of Justice, discuss how we have all fallen short in acting justly, and give examples of how passivity against abusers hurts the abused. But for all of our failure in these areas, our hope is in Jesus who actively walked out Justice perfectly.
In another interview with Pastor Miguel Davilla, co-hosts Joe and Rachel discuss many of the challenges abused people face in the church, even as they need church. Everything from how to identify a healthy or unhealthy church, to when the police should be called in an abusive situation, this interview pulls on years of experience and wisdom from Pastor Miguel.
Joe and Rachel wrap up some of their thoughts on Church Discipline, how it can be done well, and how God has given us tools to protect our local church communities. Don't miss Joe's nerdy addendum about Congregationalism, if you're into that kind of thing.
Church Discipline is a practice not done by most churches. But when it is done, it's often down wrong. Rachel and Joe discuss real-life examples (including Rachel being church disciplined by a jilted ex-suiter) and the harmful ideas that use Church Discipline as a weapon.
Pastor Miguel Davilla joins Joe and Rachel to discuss how Pastors can help bring healing to those who've experienced spiritual abuse. God's grace through his ministry, and the work of his congregation, has helped many people walk the difficult road of healing in Christ.
Pastor Miguel Davilla joins Joe and Rachel to discuss how Pastors can help bring healing to those who've experienced spiritual abuse. God's grace through his ministry, and the work of his congregation, has helped many people walk the difficult road of healing in Christ.
How we respond to life, with its highs and lows, can vary. Different generations have been formed in different contexts, each with their own shortcomings. Joe and Rachel use some inspiration from Netflix binging, a quick nod to Philosophy, and an overview of the Book of Ecclesiastes to give some thoughts on how to deal with all of life, good and bad.
Many self-righteous people are miserable, and many sub-cultures of Fundamentalism have limited understandings or expressions of humor. Rachel previews her comedy show, followed by Joe and Rachel discussing humor with its uses and misuses.
Idealism is a common theme in Authoritarian Fundamentalism and appeals to our desire for easy answers. In this episode, Joe and Rachel discuss how our God-given desires for perfection can lead us into harm when not anchored in the hope of Jesus alone.
When we've been burned by the morality of Authoritarian Fundamentalism, we look for other moralities that can replace what we've known. These moral systems can give identities and standards of right or wrong. Joe and Rachel talk about moral systems inside Authoritarian Fundamentalism and the world including what comes from politics.
Most people who state they've been wronged end up being attacked for it. Joe and Rachel talk about what Victim Blaming is, why it is so common, and what we can do about it.
Do you ever wonder if God is waiting to take away things that we love more than Him? Does he take sadistic delight in our sometimes painful process of sanctification? It often feels that way, yet we see a different picture in Scripture. Joe and Rachel discuss their own beliefs, and how they've experienced God's kindness.
Most of us feel like we shouldn't defend ourselves and are limited by unspoken rules that tell us to be nice. What is God's heart for us when we are faced with horrific evil? Rachel and Joe discuss how to begin to unravel unravel difficult situations where aggressive actions are needed.
Support us so we can continue making this Podcast:
https://www.patreon.com/controlfreakchristianity
Gospel + Safety + Time has been a helpful formulation for how a healthy Gospel culture should work and function. Join Rachel and Joe's conversation not just articulating the Gospel but living it out in a healthy and helpful way.
In communities with strict gender roles, men are given near ultimate power over others. Yet women often end up the ones that initially drive families into these cultures and often end up quietly controlling families and churches. Joe and Rachel discuss observing this and why this is such a factor in Authoritarian Fundamentalism.
Many have gone through a deconstruction of faith that leaves them going to the world to define their Christianity, or they leave Christianity altogether. Rachel and Joe discuss their own deconstruction and how they came out closer to Jesus on the other side.
Sometimes we are helped by people out of an abusive situation, only to be dragged by those very same people into a different abusive situation. Rachel and Joe discuss the complicated nature of abuse and give some thoughts on how to navigate difficult situations.
God's nature has often been described in goofy ways, yet the doctrine of the Trinity has some beautiful truths. These truths help us dismantle views of God that cause suffering, confusion, and sometimes even abuse. Joe and Rachel start to scratch the surface on this doctrine, and how it's led them to more joy and trust in God.
There is holiness, and then there is an appearance of holiness. They are not the same. The focus on appearing holy but using arbitrary human standards to measure that external holiness causes massive trouble in people, families and communities.
Adia Barkley joins hosts Joe and Rachel to tell her story. From arranged near-marriages to a presbytery court on flirting, Adia has been on a wild ride through extreme elements of Authoritarian Fundamentalism. Yet God's kindness and grace show clearly in sustaining her, and helping her heal and grow.
Hosts Joe and Rachel lay out the case that sexual abuse is common in many families, churches and organizations that claim Christ. Why is this evil so common? And what can we do about it? Through it all we can have hope that Jesus is bigger than evil and He can help us.
Many tactics are used by Spiritual Abusers to control, manipulate and wear out others. Joe and Rachel use a letter from their own past as an illustration of these tactics.
Joe and Rachel take a step back from looking at spiritual abuse to examine the horrific abuse and murder of George Floyd at the hands of police officers.
To some, women's purpose is wrapped up in their roles as wife and mother. But the Bible teaches differently, that identity for women should be who they are in Christ, not what they do for their families.
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Many single Christians impacted by Fundamentalism feel lesser for being unmarried. Joe and Rachel discuss the terrible ideas that made their singleness harder and how local churches should treat single Christians. They talk about the fear of missing out on sex and how we should hope in the future marriage of Christ and His Church.
Joe and Rachel speak directly to abusers in this powerful episode that demonstrates the Gospel and a firm reminder of God's hatred of abuse. Most abusers fake repentance when it's convenient, but true repentance is still possible. Listen and hear the Gospel at work in abusive situations.
When a person is abused, they often are tempted into becoming abusers themselves. Rachel and Joe discuss why abuse is so damaging and why it can draw its victims into continuing cycles of hurt and destruction. Only the gospel of Jesus allows us to break free from abuse cycles and into freedom and joy.
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We want to live in peace with others. Sometimes, unhealthy people will create a type of false peace that ends up controlling or manipulating us. To be free would be to break the "peace" they have created. Joe and Rachel discuss how to break false peace in order to create true peace.
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Courtship is a common method in Authoritarian Fundamentalism to replace dating. Rachel and Joe discuss their own experiences and go through ten ways they've seen courtships go wrong.
Support us so we can continue to discuss these important issues.
patreon.com/controlfreakchristianity
When a person is being dominated, ruled or controlled by another why does it cause so much damage? Control isn't just about who gets their way, it's about the value of a human being and God's design.
Support us at Patreon.com/controlfreakchristianity so we can continue to produce these episodes!
Cheapness is not often talked about. But cheap parents can unintentionally lie about the character of God, teach us to view God and ourselves wrongly, and destroy the generous attitude God designed us to have. Joe and Rachel discuss their own experiences with cheapness and how God's grace, most clearly seen in the gift of Jesus, is bigger than any lack of provision we have experienced.
Help us continue making content:
www.patreon.com/controlfreakchristianity
Some families operate as though they were the ultimate end of mankind. But is this how God designed earthly families to act? Join Rachel and Joe as they discuss the proper focus of family.
Support us so we can continue to create episodes
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The very skills that keep people alive in danger can also trap a person. How can we step away from the coping mechanisms that allowed us to survive, so that we can move on into healing and growth?
Support us on Patreon so we can continue to make this podcast!
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Joe and Rachel discuss the importance of both doctrine and culture that is driven by the gospel of Jesus. Culture is both more difficult to define, and often missing from churches that emphasize doctrinal truth.
In this episode, we discuss true and false forms of authority and lay some groundwork for understanding authority as Jesus taught it.
Bethany Tenney, sister to co-host Joe Tenney tells her story of spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse. In part two, she discusses her response and healing.
Bethany Tenney, sister to co-host Joe Tenney tells her story of spiritual, emotional, and sexual abuse.
Patreon Link:
https://www.patreon.com/controlfreakchristianity
Spiritual abuse or trauma can leave you feeling emotionally numb. Joe and Rachel discuss feeling distant from God, and the fallout of having Scripture used to control them.
Thousands of people have been taught forms of Christianity that led them into more bondage than freedom. Why do we feel like we have been enslaved by the truth when it’s supposed to set us free?
Join your hosts, Joe and Rachel Tenney, as they discuss how to fight disillusionment, and move forward in the hope of Jesus Christ. This is the Control Freak Christianity podcast.