Kinship Code: Recent Episodes

View Details

Good morning and welcome again to Kingship Code, Kanat Wano with you here today. But Sharon Finnan-White - Commonwealth Games gold medalist, two-time world champion netballer, Order of Australia recipient. The national coach of Schools Corporation, it's a busy morning talking to Sharon Finnan-White. Join me.

[00:00:38] Hey, good morning. How are you, my friend?

[00:00:41] Oh, I'm really, really well, Sharon, look. Thank you so much for joining in today. And I understand your well, but I understand I know you're in Townsville, my hometown. So how you finding Townsville?

[00:00:55] Yeah, pretty good. Look, I. I grew up in Sydney, so not in my wildest dreams I ever think that I'd end up sort of this far north. But I actually ended up moving to the Gold Coast.

[00:01:07] And from there to Cairns and then now here to Townsville. And my husband and my current my husband actually bought me here. So this is where he was working. So when we met, we spent a bit of time apart for the first year and a bit sort of just moving back and forth and seeing each other on weekends. But yeah, eventually moved to Townsville. And now this is where I call home.

[00:01:29] Good idea. Yeah. As I said, Townsville is home for me, going to school and everything else in the early days. Sharon. So your sporting raise my profile, if you like. Very impressive. You've won a Commonwealth Games gold medal. Now tell me, where did you win that?

[00:01:49] So that was in Auckland in nineteen ninety.

[00:01:55] And that was the year that netball was a demonstration sport at the Commonwealth Games. So it's a very first year that we got the opportunity to participate on that stage. We didn't get a chance to stay in the village with all the other athletes being a demonstration team at the time. But we did get a chance to walk in and have a look around and experience the atmosphere, which was pretty awesome. And we only got to play the one game against New Zealand, which we ended up winning. But Tom. Yeah, it feels pretty special to be a part of that first ever couple of games team.

[00:02:27] Absolutely. Absolutely. And also, you're a. Excuse me. You're a two time will let you describe your pilot, the two time world championship team.

[00:02:39] Yes. Say my first.

[00:02:42] So nineteen ninety one was the first year that I played at the World Championships and that was in Sydney. And it was probably the game or the championship that put netball on the map. I think it really created some profile for the sport, for women's sport in particular. But I remember it was at the Sydney Entertainment Center and Bob Hawke was there as well. The prime minister of the time. We had a packed stadium of about 10000 people. And it was Australia versus New Zealand in the final. And, you know, which is always a tight contest between countries. And yes, I ninety one, that was my first world championship. And then I was pretty much missed out on the Australian team between the next world championship, which was in 1999 in Christchurch. And again, we beat New Zealand by a very close margin. So it was nice to be victorious in both those games. But, you know, the period in between for me was was quite challenging because I had to fight my way back in. You know, so being out for seven years was was hard. You know, I had lots of doubts in my ability and where I was heading with the sport. Yeah. So it was but I'm still playing National League at the time, you know, I say Sandpipers and Sydney electricity. And then I moved to Queensland play with Queensland Firebirds. So I still had that motivation and drive to keep playing. And I was selected into the Australian squad of 20. Pretty much every year. But when it came to. Yeah. Being selected for the final ten or twelve, I was missing out. And I think I had to really sit back and evaluate what it was and what was I doing that needed to be corrected for me to get a spot in that team. And I'll probably, you know, look, I won't lie. I think sometimes I lacked motivation and I was very angry about the fact that I wasn't selected.

[00:04:49] So I had to turn that around into a positive and I had to really look at the things that I could do for myself to make sure that I was back in that team. And I think one of the other driving factors for me was the fact that I was the only indigenous girl in that squad pretty much for that whole time. And that was my joining forces. I still wanted to be a face. I still wanted to be a face so I could have that profile within our community so I could continue to encourage and motivate and inspire our young people to achieve their dreams. And I knew that if I gave up, then I would be letting them down. So it was a strong motivating factor that I had behind me to keep going and eventually getting back in after seven years, all that hard work paid off. I just never gave up. I just really believe that I still had had something to get back into that team.

[00:05:43] That's that's inspiring. And that is a cliche. That's inspiring.

[00:05:47] But honestly, Sharon, to to sort of be absent from the the the level of the top level of real your sport. And still my tithing that drives the dream and the passion to then get back to it after seven seventy eight bright years is testament to your your resilience and also to your spirit of character. And you did mention like there's the physical attributes of that orbitals. So the drive to get to be a shining light for for your people. Aboriginal young people, all the people, in fact, to strive your resilience. Talk about how you sort of got through your darkest moments. What did you do?

[00:06:36] Well, I'm pretty lucky that I have pretty inspiring parents to draw on.

[00:06:41] My mom, you know, she was a member of the Stolen Generation and she's been through a lot in her life. And, you know, she's come out the other end to be a very successful indigenous woman, you know, later in her life. She achieved day a bachelor in indigenous health and studies, and she started a pay hike today as well.

[00:07:08] So, you know, Mum, considering what she's been through in her life, you know, being taken away from her family at the age of nine and putting to Kinmont of girls home and then adopted into a non-indigenous family.

[00:07:23] And then she was told she had to go to Sydney at the age of 16 and they sort of sorted a job out for her down there. And, you know, so she did a lot of that on her own.

[00:07:33] And she's still a very strong, independent grandmother now. So, you know, so I've got that on my side.

[00:07:41] And then my dad, who's non-indigenous, you know, he's been my rock my whole life and he has always taught me about work ethic and responsibility. And, you know, just all the things that you get told when you're a teenager that going one way or the other. But then as you grow up, you remember the things that you your parents tell you. And every in the words of wisdom that he's given me and he has always stuck with me. So I think in the back of my mind, I've always had mum and Dad's sort of messages coming through.

[00:08:13] You have to say that the seeds were planted at a young age and can help you through. Obviously now when you look when you are like lining up to run on to, say, a selection game to get back to the top. Well, the Australian the national it. What did you say to yourself? What was some of the things that you said yourself leading up to? Getting to the change room and the through the team to. And also just just running onto to the court. What? Some of yourself, too. Can you remember what you've said to yourself? What were your thoughts?

[00:08:50] Yeah. I mean, look, as elite athletes, we are always you know, we have sports psychologist that talk to us about those sort of things.

[00:08:57] And, you know, you have to find something that works for you. A lot of athletes are superstitious as well.

[00:09:03] You know, you have the same routine as you're getting ready. I remember I always had to make sure I really well the night before. Make sure the diet that the the game or the competition that I had a really good meal for breakfast and something that was going to sit well in my in my in my belly. And I guess, you know, if it was a late game, I'd make sure that I'd have a little bit of a nap, you know, just to sort of reenergize. We used to do a lot of mental visualization so we'd actually see yourself doing things really well, you know, rather than approaching a game in a negative way, saying I'm really nervous. I know I'm gonna be playing against this particular player and she's really good. I don't know whether I can, you know, outdo her. But you turn that around and you start thinking about these are the things that I'll practice to training. This is how much hard work that I have put in to this very moment. I know that I can jump high for her and get those rebounds. I know that if she goes out to the right side of the court for every single person to pass. I know I need to get around and push it the other way to make her feel uncomfortable. So all the things that you praksis that China and you actually been mentally rehearsed in your mind before you actually get to the court. And then because you've done that, you actually feel really confident walking onto the court. And I know that one of my greatest strengths was pushing myself in the physical training aspect. So I loved getting in the gym and doing weights. I didn't like long distance runs too much, but sprints were fine. You know, and then getting to a point where you can push yourself beyond your limits. Training. Once you get to the game, everything is really easy. So the hard work really is in the in the lead up, not when you actually get onto the court.

[00:10:52] Brilliant. Brilliant. Let us share. Also, you were probably impressive resume. You've also coached the Trinidad Tobago and South Africa at the national team. Tell me about that.

[00:11:04] Yeah. Well, I'm not gonna take full credit for being the actual coach, but I did get the opportunity to go to South Africa with my former Australian coach, Joyce Brown.

[00:11:14] She invited me over to work with her. I was so honored that, you know, because Joyce is such a big name in Australian sport and netball in particular. Everyone knows who she is. And she was actually probably the coach who I admire the most throughout my whole career because she gave me so many opportunities in that break between when I missed out on the Australian team. Joyce. There was like a president's 12 team and those Australian beating. So I got the opportunity to play in those teams. And I know that that was because of Joyce pushing for me. And she used to send these cards and little letters in the mail saying, you know, it might just have been two or three words. It said, you can and you will. Or, you know, inspiring quite. She would mail them to us. And that was way before a mile and, you know, mobile phones and texting and everything. But she would post a letter in the mail. She'd post just one card with all these inspiring.

[00:12:10] And you felt you were the only one that was getting them. I'm sure she was sending to the girls in the team. But you felt really special. So she's she's. And then. So, yeah. So she rang me up one day and said, I'm going to South Africa to coach the national team. I want you to come with me. And I was like, yes, I'm coming out. And all the girls within Australia that she could have asked. She asked me. And then I did ask her, why did you ask me to come? And she said, because I knew you'd be able to connect with the black athletes over there. And that, to me, was a great answer. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to connect with those girls. And I did get a chance to sit and talk to a lot of the black athletes over there.

[00:12:47] And I sat back and I observed the training sessions and I could see clearly that those girls were not getting the same attention or the same recognition as the non black athletes in that team. So and I did say to me, you know, look, because I'm saying you need to drive it hard and just want the ball. And they're like. Doesn't matter what we do, they're not going to pass to us. So, yeah. So it was really interesting listening to the stories. And then when I. Many, many years after. When we got back, I ran into Joyce Fran at the teeth there. Remember what year it was? It was when the the world champs were in Sydney lost. And they had a bit of a function for all the former players. And we actually got this wonderful little necklace thing with the year that we started in the team.

[00:13:36] And so. Yeah, and that's it. And Joyce went up to Joyce and I said, Joyce, I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me and how you've inspired me throughout my career to keep going. And she said, Oh, Sharon, that's not a problem, Sid. But there is one thing I've always wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how to tell you.

[00:13:53] She said that when you came to South Africa with me, the officials there within the organization said to me, why did you bring that black girl with you?

[00:14:03] Wow. Yeah. Wow.

[00:14:05] I know. And I was like the same response was well. And she said I just felt I needed to tell you. I needed to tell you.

[00:14:13] I just didn't know when was the right moment. And yeah.

[00:14:17] So I didn't know how to respond to that. But on the day that that was going on or that that was said about me while I was over there.

[00:14:24] But anyway, nevertheless, it was a really awesome opportunity to coach the national team to help Joyce Brown to do that. And then, yeah, the other opportunity was in Trinidad Tobago.

[00:14:37] They were looking for a technical director. And I thought, you know what, if I want to progress in the coaching world, this could be a really good opportunity for me and something good to have them my résumé. So I applied for the position and I had no idea that. I just thought, I'm not I'm never gonna get it because, you know, I didn't really have my elite coaching accreditation at the time. I really had was my name and the fact that I've been a former national player. Anyway, I got the job. It was a six month gig in Trinidad. And it was really it was really hard for me because I had to leave my two year old son for six months and stayed with his dad and grandparents while I was away. So that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my whole life. I don't think I could ever do it again.

[00:15:26] But yeah, so coaching the Trinidad team was a real challenge. I've really enjoyed it. I love the opportunity. But, you know, the structures of.

[00:15:37] Systems over there are very different to to us, you know, we assign much more advanced overhead because we have access to so much more as well.

[00:15:47] So my role at the day was to s technical director, slash assistant coach, I guess. And it was really just to help them help develop the coaches, you know, ran some accreditation courses for the coaches over there. And it was just to make sure that they had the right technical advice. But, you know, unfortunately, the country doesn't have. As I said, the same resources that we do for their players. Hence why that, you know, ranked about the 10th and 11th in the world. But they have some amazing players, very talented. And yet again, it was a really good opportunity for me to sort of, I guess, work on my coaching skills and my communication skills, working with different cultures and people.

[00:16:31] Very, very rewarding. That sounds like a very rewarding experience in that part of the world. Plus, you got to live in the Western leagues, which sounds romantic to me.

[00:16:44] Well, it was. And I still keep in contact with a lot of the girls through Facebook, you know, which is what I love about Facebook is despite still being able to connect with people.

[00:16:53] And, you know, if I ever go back there, you know, and I'll be welcomed and certainly they would be to in my home at any time. So, yeah, it was a really great opportunity at the church.

[00:17:05] Just on the side note, you did mention you have friends from that unit called Experience with a cousin of the great man, Hussein Bolt.

[00:17:18] And what did I say that did you not know what the ring might be someone else? I don't remember saying that there must be someone else or dogs with it. That's right.

[00:17:31] There's Jared, you also national coach, national development manager. Well, the National Aboriginal Sports Corporation. Are you still in that role?

[00:17:42] No. That was when I was living in Sydney and a little bit then when I moved to Queensland, I was still in that role. I did that role for about eight years.

[00:17:52] And it and I remember the great day of Lydiard who played the plague for Parramatta and Penrith. He started up the organization. And when he sort of heard about me and my role within netball, he and I at the time I was working for the New South Wales Department, Sport and Recreation in North Sydney, and I was actually seconded over to NASCAR for 12 months and which was really great sport to do that and allow me to have that opportunity.

[00:18:20] And then I ended up staying with NASCAR for eight years and traveled all around Australia to remote communities and helped coordinate the croc festivals. That enough? You remember them? They were held so they can weeper and Derby and Swan Hill and Port Augusta, like every state, had a croc festival, which sort of brought some communities together and sporting groups together. And my role was to coordinate all the sporting activities that the croc festivals. I went to remote communities to run Nippo clinics for young people and helped community people to learn about Chi-Ching. So, you know, we could leave some skills in the community so they could continue to learn and playing for help set up an indigenous program in Bunbury.

[00:19:10] We employed another lady over there to help continue to run that program. And you know that that program, you know, when I look at it now, that program actually was the start of something really big for Western Australia, because now that led to them branching out into different regions. And now they have so much funding and support for indigenous programs in Western Australia. They're probably the best state at the moment for running indigenous programs and pathways for our girls. And I and, you know, it started from that clinic and that program that we set up through NASCO.

[00:19:44] So. And then, you know, and my role was to really do that within HST because we were a national organization and I was here anyway after it is our funding ran out.

[00:19:58] But I was able to set up some kind of Puzzo in Newcastle. We started up that they started the quarry netball tournament and that's now been running for over 20 years. That's still running, even though I don't have anything to do with it. And that was what we wanted to. That's what we set out to achieve, is to make sure that these things were sustainable. And I know that whilst netball are linking into that carnival to use it as a talent identification opportunity for girls to come through there, their pathway. Similarly, I've set up and that was all with NASCAR. We also ran a carnival in Dubbo to do the same thing. And then I did. Some things in Cairns, and so we. And then I set up like a State of Origin kind of competition where we had to pick the best girls from New South Wales from those carnivals and the best girls from Queensland, from the Commonwealth that I set up. And then a State of Origin series, what the girls together to play against each other. And then we also got a Northern Territory team together. We had a three way series as well.

[00:21:00] My goal was to eventually have every state involved so that we could create an indigenous nationals, that some states were more supportive towards the concept than others, saying, you know, there's always those challenges that we had to deal with. And then, unfortunately, our funding ran out. Look, we are not for profit organization and then our funding ran out in the organization, sort of had to cease operating for a while. Nasca has sort of now regenerated itself with a new name. It's now the National Aboriginal Sporting Chance Academy. So they're actually now still out there doing really great things that yes, I know now I'm sort of still still doing.

[00:21:42] I've got the Champagne and cup now in Cairns that runs every year and now in Townsville, he sort of helped them to start up an indigenous carnival here as well.

[00:21:51] So it's yeah, it's been a really exciting, challenging and rewarding journey for Amy on that side of things.

[00:22:01] And kudos to you, Sharon. That's an impressive take of your your playing career and then your international exposure to coaching and now getting back to your own community side on the behalf of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. Young people, thank you for doing that. And I think it's vital that that sort of support that you provide, given your your rise to elite sport, is an amazing gift to give back. So I thank you sincerely for that from both Aboriginal and torture on the First Nations of this country, an open opera and obviously not, obviously, but it sort of led you to get an Order of Australia, which. Hello. That goes without your contribution to the sport in this country and also to do better. Aboriginal church on the people visa is just, you know, incredible. And I I've known you for a little while and I didn't know you. You did all that work from the blood, sweat and tears, but from heart, which is, you know, I just want to give you the kudos and the acknowledgment, Chairman, and also your multiple Hall of Famer, multiple Hall of Famer, Randwick City Council, all of fine netball, New South Wales, all a fine sport, Australia Hall of Fame, Aboriginal and Torres Strait, all and the Hall of Fame. I don't even think the great Michael Jordan has something to fight on.

[00:23:34] Well, look, it's when you read it like that all in one sentence, it sounds pretty impressive.

[00:23:39] But I guess, you know, even hearing myself talk about all the work that I have done in the community and the hard work that, you know, I put in as a as an elite athlete and the challenges and obstacles I have to face to get through to this to the national team, I guess, you know, those accolades deserved, you know.

[00:24:01] But I am absolutely that way now. I absolutely do. They absolutely deserve a welcome sign. That's an impressive, very impressive sporting achievement. But more at the same time. Can I also mention you you contribute to changing the trajectory of people's lives, whether they be Aboriginal, Torres Strait or non Aboriginal Torres Strait or that couldn't be South Africans or or Western influence on just from getting your conversation of your journey off, of just giving back. Even though I worked very hard to get where you got it's it's an 18 year old and it's an acknowledgment to your mum and dad, an acknowledgment to them to have you have this mindset of giving even that you received a lot. You received something in the order of Australia, you know, multiple whole find gold medals. But all that gives back. So that's you know, I'm even a bigger fan of yours now.

[00:25:05] Sharon, I'm serious. I really am. And Sharon, in your very early days, you have an interesting story. You started. I think it was 12. You started young anyway.

[00:25:20] But you didn't actually make the senior representative sites till a bit later. And even getting into the state side, you didn't go through the normal national selections or the age groups or the state system to get to like. Twenty ones, I believe. Tell me a bit about that story.

[00:25:40] Yeah. Look, sir. You know, I was playing club netball for the RSL, which is the suburb that I grew up in, in Sydneys in the southwest suburbs of Sydney.

[00:25:50] So from the age of No. One, right up until I open level and my first rep team was at the age of 12, 13 with St George District, which is the district that I grew up in. Followed the Dragons my whole life in the NRL as well. Yeah.

[00:26:06] And so I guess sort of, you know, from the night of August 12, 13. I was going to Met-Pro carnivals and representing my district. I was at school. I was playing netball. And then I made the under 16 Catholic school go state team. Then we went away to the Catholic school goes nationals. And I made the Australian Australian School Girls National team. And then. Yeah. So I guess, you know, when the with the state team, what with New South Wales and all states, I guess around the country, the system is you you go through the, um, the 17 state team and you go through the younger nine anes back. Then you go through the other twenty ones that don't have that now and then you go into the open's stay. I still can't remember why I didn't trial for the other 17 and under nineteens. I'm not sure whether it was because I wasn't aware that the trials were on or no one had told me or I didn't want to. Honestly, I kinda I can't believe I can't remember what it was, why I didn't. But all of a sudden I found myself in the New South Wales under twenty one side and then, you know, going way to nationals competing against all the states of fit.

[00:27:23] I was offered a scholarship to the Australian Institute of Sport. So they were identifying girls from the Nationals. So I was 21 and by the time I made my first state team and went to the OAS. And typically when you go to the OAS, you are in that Seventeen's Nineteens age group. So I was pretty much one of the oldest girls down there and probably more ready to move away from home at that stage to I know if I was a bit younger, I probably wouldn't have wanted to go away to Canberra to leave my family and what have you.

[00:27:52] So, yeah, again, I just I just kind of played with my my district team, you know, I had my fair chat challenges there as well. You know, ESCOs remember a story one time where I was captain of my team and I slept in and I'd missed out on a weekend carnival and think maybe I'd gone out the night before or something exciting.

[00:28:16] I like us as if we still have our, you know, our female skeletons in our closet, you know, some of those things because, you know, it makes people realize that we're human and we're not write books and we do make mistakes. And no member my coach jock me as captain, you know, for that that year. And so I learned from my mistakes.

[00:28:37] You know, I knew I shouldn't have gone out partying that night knowing that I had a carnival the next weekend. And I must admit, you know, for me, as a teenager, I was very torn between going to do the teenager stuff, you know, and being that sports person where you had to sacrifice things to to be a better athlete. And for me, it was really hard to separate the two. And also at that time, you know, boyfriends come into your life and they want to I knew and tell you what you can and can't do. And there's jealousy that, you know, you're choosing your sport over them. And, you know, there's all these decisions you got to make. And I know there was a very important part in my life where I had to choose between being with a boyfriend or taking that scholarship. And, you know, thankfully, my dad, with all his wisdom, sat me down and said, well, what pathway do you want to look? What direction do you want to go in life? Like, if you want to make a go of you netball, I think you need to take that scholarship. And unfortunately, if if your boyfriend doesn't support that, then, you know, that's what happened.

[00:29:47] So I took the scholarship and I had and went through lots of hell with the break up and all that sort of stuff. But, you know, you move on and, you know, it got me got me into the Australian team because of that decision. So, you know, there's certain decisions you make in your life that will send you one way and or the other.

[00:30:05] And I'm really glad that I made that choice.

[00:30:08] Look, that's a fascinating take a what do you how you ventured into your chosen sport. And certainly the negatives look the negative sorry, the with your boyfriend at the time and robbing you of your self belief, putting you in this situation. And maybe that's another podcast. I think that's another point, guys, because that's interesting to have you come out the other end and. And then I call it walking through the desert with no say, with nice shoes, are you walking through the desert sands with no shoes on? But you do get to you, ISIS, you get to a place, you can put your feet in most cool water. There's all this drink and food and Scheid and it's the closest thing to paradise you'll get. But you have to walk through that desert in the hot sand. No shoes on it. And I suppose it's like sport, but it's like with anything, I suppose the sacrifice that comes with a timing that. And so what did you learn from that scenario? Look, it was a you sharing. That was one that quite interesting because I was from a probably another podcast you with you on that. But what was it? What did you get at? What did you learn from that experience for you? Your takeaway. That's built your resilience or your motivation or whatever it is that you think you've built.

[00:31:39] Look, I think it was because my dad has always, as all parents do with their kids. I put them on a pedestal and my dad's always given me the belief that I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it and that I have a special gift and that I need to use the talents and the gifts that I have for a better purpose. And, you know, as I said, you know, at the time, you think it's just your parents lecturing you about all those things that he told me just kept resonating in my mind, is that, yes, I I can choose to go down this path with this this partner, this boyfriend of mine who I do. To be honest, wasn't really good for me anyway. Or I can choose to take this pathway and make something of myself. And, you know, back then at the time, I really didn't have a lot of thought about being with about my Aboriginality. It wasn't something that I was very conscious of in my younger years because, you know, because of mom not having access to hit culture. Being a member of the Stolen Generation, that wasn't something we generally talked about in our household. I was just Sharon Finnin and, you know, a girl who loves netball and plays netball and my blackness or my Aboriginality was never an issue. It was never brought up. It was never raised at school. I was never targeted at school. I never experienced racism. I never felt it on or off the court. So it wasn't like I felt I needed to go out and be this role model for indigenous people. At that present point in time of my life. It was just that I loved netball and I knew that it could take me places and I knew I had to get away from a situation that was probably not a positive one. So it was a good decision. And so, yeah, I sat down and I did think about the pros and cons. It wasn't just a split decision and took diving with my dad because mum and dad split up when I was 12. So I really dad. So I say Dad was my rock. You know, he was the one that I went to for advice and guidance. And I lost connection with Mum for a little while. But, you know, we're best of mates now. So, yeah, it was a bit of a thought process that I had to go through and think about where I want my future to go. And, you know, and I guess a lot of the visits that I've had to indigenous communities, I see a lot of our girls who, you know, in relationships with with boys. And a lot of the time I saw the girls kind of being the ones sitting on the sideline at the footy games, watching the boys and every night the boys wanted. And, you know, I really want our girls to be having those opportunities to do what they want to and not be held back by a partner or boyfriend that says, well, no, I don't want you doing that.

[00:34:28] You know, like if I'm to be honest, I just think if that makes sense, if you're a hundred percent, 100 percent of that, that's a great Segway into. I suppose the next part of this podcast is looking at the the indigenous Australian participation in that poll. Which which of. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I know the grass roots level like Requena is applied, but certainly to the elite level, despite league and also all equal to the senior leagues, to the slightly to the national levels. There's very limited representation of yourself and mozzarella. Duncan are the only two indigenous female players who have played netball for the country yet.

[00:35:12] That's correct, yep. And I'm currently in the Suncorp Supernet Bowl National Competition. Gemma, my mind get from Queensland is the only indigenous girl in the league and it's been 20 years since I retired from the Diamond's team. And we have not seen another girl come through the pathway. We've had a number of girls make it to be. Twenty one level. We've been back five or six girls that have made it to that level, but they haven't been able to get through to that next level. And, you know, I guess we need to sort of look at the moment I'm in I'm a member of the Nepal Australia Reconciliation Action Plan Working Group, you know. And there've been a number of programs. You know, it's good to say that a lot of the best states, state Nepalese organizations now have their own raps. So we're starting to see some programs and some changes happening within the states for NGOs in terms of making a little bit more accessible Frangos to play and a little bit more culturally safe for our girls to play. But there's still a lot of work to be done, obviously, because if we can't get any of our girls through the system up to that national team, it's taken 20 years. And Marcio was probably in that, you know, 10 years before me. So it's been 30 years, really. If you add it all together and master, you know, I came from Randwick, you know, like I went from St George to Randwick and Masino, I came through the same system. And to be honest, coming through New South Wales systems and processes back in those days, there was no problem whatsoever. You know, and I still think that was the reason why we we felt comfortable there. You know, we felt supported and there was never any issues to me coming through those pathways. And I think we just really need to look at what we can do to educate and support coaches and netball administrators, young people, and and make the decisions about how they can support our young indigenous girls coming through pathways.

[00:37:18] I've got to make a statement here, Sharrett. I think you touched on it before in terms of female participation in sport, in netball, but not just netball across all sports. And we're seeing a resurgence, especially in the non traditional, if you like, girls' sport of AFL league union. They're getting a bit more. And now the Australian Football Soccer have held on a World Cup. That's enormous. Now women's sport is getting that recognition and it's slowly filtering down, whereas other communities. We've actually got to probably move barriers in our communities in terms of female sport.

[00:38:02] And like you're saying, you've got these carnivals and yeah, the the All Blacks carnivals, both here, the New South Wales. It's always the guys and the girls. The women are sitting back cheering squad. They don't have that profile. So there is some social development from where I'm sitting, helicopter view, social development and support needed at the other end of that so you can get the systems and entry points correct or close to being correct in the zone of being culturally safe. But we also need to build the human social capital of our communities to then support the girls, the relationships or even, you know, and on the you know, you know, it's a lot more like them, I've got to say. Yeah, I'll put my hand up. When I was younger, I didn't want to see my girlfriend achieve more than I did. I mean, I'll be serious. And again, I didn't have the skills or the knowledge to treat that. Whereas if we provide that as a community approach, maybe we could see a bit like your side.

[00:39:06] You'll you were fortunate your mum and dad were there to manage you and support you through as just an example of saying if you want to make a general generalization about supporting the hiring can academy just for you. Because I believe that netball, because Australia is such a high women's nipple, is such a high ranked team that wish that there should be indigenous representation. So that's probably my intent, my take on it.

[00:39:38] Yeah, I guess I would just like to see this. I'd just like to say, you know, I mean, some people have the view that we don't want to have separate programs or, you know, we're trying to integrate NGOs into the system. And yeah, that's true. We are. However, you know, I believe that what I've what I've helped to set up with Cairns and Townsville netball is, yes, they're separate carnivals and the separate programs, but they they were established to try to link Blinkx our goals into the into the into the state and national pathway. So it's all about, firstly, getting our Pich community and our people to these events to have a go and just see if they like it and just have some fun. You know, the carnivals are all about that. So that's the first thing. Secondly, for me, it's about then using those carnivals as an opportunity to have a look at some girls who do have a bit of talent and a bit of passion that want to go further. And then we then we bring them in for for some development camps and we we've gotten some skills and drills and I bring in some high profile coaches to work with these girls and sometimes they Netball Queensland selectors. So get them to come in and have a look at the girls. And then we find opportunities for those girls to travel away and to go through the routines of what? Well, we would have done, you know, in my career. We talk to them about nutrition and we talk to them about communication and training and doing the right thing and don't feel that same thing about, like not being able to communicate if something's wrong. You can't get to training or you need someone to come pick you up or whatever. Don't don't have don't feel that shame about not being able to talk to someone about it. On the other hand, too, you know, it's about educating the coaches to the non-indigenous coaches who have indigenous skills in their team to work with the family. You know, our our girls need to feel like, you know, they supported not just on the court, but off the court as well. So have conversations with the family. What can I do to support your daughter? You know, I love let's have to have those conversations, because I think sometimes in all sport, there's starry eyed, you know, in the world the stereotypes of all different cultures. And I think sometimes our people are labeled lazy and irresponsible. And all these sorts of things. And unfortunately, our girls miss out on teams because of those stereo typical kind of unconscious bias that they have towards our people. And we need to sort of work to try and change and educate people that, you know, maybe there's a reason why she can't get to training, you know, maybe because she hasn't come for three weeks in a row. What about have you spoke to the family? So rather than just assume she's lazy and doesn't want to come.

[00:42:34] Yeah, it's just a quick tip. That might be netball struggle here. All the states should take a guy. I want to work information, too, with the Queensland Rugby League. Queensland Rugby League do a marvelous job because they see Aboriginal torsional, the rugby boys and girls.

[00:42:53] They see them as a strong component of their sport. By I actually have camps. They have academies just for for indigenous specific staff. Every time the indigenous players Kersten's one of them pledges God I they regenerate this production line because I know that I bring, you know, additional skills and also culture diversity to the game. AFL do it rugby. So it's a bet, but its diversity is diversity as sort of a situation where I've binocs brother to our role to assist, you know, develop you looking at the Townsville Rocky Macci as a fourth place while working with the families on the ground to support the grass roots. And that's something which, you know, a little could because you know that those sports, especially the QR rail, that they're big and you can see you look at the Queensland side, you know, we don't them sometimes we don't como back on Como line because always blackfellas from one.

[00:44:03] So it's that high population. So we could look. Sure. It's been an absolute pleasure talking to you. I've got so much out of this that we're going to have another chat, obviously, because we have some other information that we need to talk about. But I want to I want to finish by doing a little exercise with you. It's a it's a bit of a what they call it. Let's get the names together. Trading in this old role. What role play its role play. Oh, yes. But this is like virtual. Role play. Now, give me your what what's your most favorite tree? What tree resonates with you? Like you said, give me a tree. What tree would you know?

[00:44:47] When are you going to ask me? Because I was listening to your last forecast interview and I started thinking about what? Trees.

[00:44:53] But the first thing that came to mind was the cherry blossom, you know, those beautiful pink Nobelists trees, because I see them, especially in the colder weather. I see them everywhere. And I just think, oh, that would have been so nice to get married under or you I'd have photos. And then, you know, when we're in Christchurch, my school team, head coach of my school team here in Townsville, we took them over to Christchurch and not they were just lining the streets, you know, on both sides. And they just and I gave me this really peaceful, calm, beautiful feeling. And I just said, that's my favorite tree.

[00:45:28] Beautiful. So calm. Feeling peace. Yeah. It's sort of your duty, as you've just described. You've seen a piece, you you it's something you try to strive for or try to find. That's a bit a bit of amateur psychology, if you like. And now you're sitting York. This lovely place where this is this line of cherry blossoms is the cherry blossoms, cherry blossom dip, cherry blossoms. Beautiful. Just imagine that. And you're out there, you sitting there and you've got a picnic table set up and you've got you could invite three, three people to that picnic table.

[00:46:07] Now, I'm going to ask you to sit. You don't have six people at your table because you're special.

[00:46:14] Gosh, I can't think of that many people because you've got you've got five or four Hall of Fame medals like you. You get to have six people.

[00:46:23] Now you have the first three people. I want you to tell me three sports people, either your current sport or other sports or living past.

[00:46:37] You don't have to know them, but three sports people you'd like to invite to come and share a picnic afternoon under this salubrious location of peace.

[00:46:50] You know, I didn't plan like I knew that this was gonna be a question that you asked, but I hadn't put too much thought into it. Thought. Firstly, probably because I just recently saw this amazing thing on Facebook about cutting deals. He's currently playing in the NBA in America. He has pledged to donate one point five million dollars to indigenous communities here in Australia. So that's he told salary for how long? A year. I don't know. But I would love to sit down with him and having gone to him. So my son is really inspired by him because my my 10 year old loves basketball and wants to play in the NBA. And he's read all Patty Mills books and Torres Strait Islander My Debt, My Kids a half Torres Strait Islander as well, three on their dad's side. So I would love to sit down, have a yarn to him, and maybe he can tell me about what he's going to how he's going to support the communities. This could be someone you could talk to as well on your podcast. He may well.

[00:47:56] Well, he's my little cousin, so get rid of him. But certainly we think I'm going to tell him to look you up and your son.

[00:48:03] Oh, I just I would love him just to be able to say hello to him, like he would just be so happy. Who else?

[00:48:12] Gee, another sport.

[00:48:16] Because who I really admired growing up was tennis player Gabriela Sabatini. If you remember her. But she just just was a real athlete and just plain and said graciously and a lot of beautiful dark skin. And she just always looked really beautiful on the court. I guess that she was someone I aspire to cause she kind of looked a bit. I felt I had a similar kind of looks to her when I was younger, so I'd probably ask her.

[00:48:43] And one more I'm going to pick.

[00:48:45] Yes. Gee, probably.

[00:48:52] Look, if she was still alive, I mean, she's not. But God rest her soul.

[00:48:58] My very first netball coach, Doc Lloyd, nice like my club coach, because I just want to honor her with probably me getting to where I did. To be honest, not because there was so many times where I couldn't get to to netball training because Dad was working or Mum wasn't around or Mum was doing something else. And I couldn't get there. And she, without fail, would come and pick me up and take me to training and take me to games. And I would love to just sit and have a chat to her about what she remembers about me. And just yet, just talk about the old days with her.

[00:49:34] Let's that's fantastic. I want to get a brief summary. Patty Mills giving away all his salary to to a cause to do Black Lives Matter, giving all the salary I give up. So you you've just you just articulated your giving spirit. Also, Gabrielle Sabattini, which I my two, but obviously for different reasons. I thought she was gorgeous. You look, that was you you looked at new you like what you see you liked. You love looking at it. That was you. Yes, it was by itself. That's the self belief. That's a self-confidence that's got you where you are today. And you're a lovely coach. What was her name? You don't Lloyd Dot, you were given gratitude, which is beautiful. Sharon, you're giving gratitude to everything in your life. And, you know, you've already spoken about your mum, your dad, and also in your sporting life to this lady.

[00:50:36] OK. I've got to wrap this up, but I will ask you for the next three guests. All all of our sports. Give me three Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander people. Give me the knives. Who they are. And one word or two words. Why you picked them.

[00:50:50] Three. Three Aboriginal craft from the people that you would invite to sit around a picnic table and just one or two words to just say the name and say why. One word or two words or even three to describe why you picked those three Aboriginal tortured on the people.

[00:51:11] Okay. Oh, geez. Okay.

[00:51:15] So luckily, you've you have to cut a lot of this out and then just put that onto the end because I'm I'm thinking now, look, I would pick first. The first. Look, I'm just gonna go the first person that came to mind.

[00:51:26] And that's the whole like the Masiello Duncan. Like, seriously, like she is just not one word or two words. Very, very wise. Very articulate and very culturally proud.

[00:51:50] Good. Second person.

[00:51:53] Second person. Second person would be. Well, you know what I'm going to say you. For the second person, because I follow you on Facebook and your posts give me so much positivity and energy. And there's two words. How the third back Positano. Thanks, Doug. And just to see your slate, just what just what you post is always just really positive and energizing. And also, I. Because you just talk to so many people and you're so friendly. I think more people should be like that. So you're my second. And the third person would be. I honestly can't think of a name, but all I would just like to I would invite any indigenous person who is making a difference in this world like Canada for this time. Many of them I would just name. I would just invite someone, anyone out there who is trying to make a difference for our actual Torres Strait Islander people.

[00:52:59] Great answer. Great answer. And I'm humbled by your decision actually bringing me I'm getting a bit emotional, to be honest. But, Sharon, it's been an absolute pleasure chatting to you. I'm so glad we've had this opportunity. And it won't be the last opportunity. We got to have a chat again. So is there anything else in closing that you'd like to just give our listeners, your listeners any goods that you'd like to put across?

[00:53:27] Look, just that, you know, for all our Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people that, you know, I just t I don't want to sound too cliche because I never had a dream to play for Australia. Like, I didn't even know the Australian team existed when I was young. But if there are things that you want to achieve in life, to not let anything or anyone stand in your way and that, you know, we're the first peoples of this nation and we deserve respect and recognition and opportunities.

[00:54:02] So believe that. Believe in yourself. And just whatever you want to do, just go and do it no matter what anybody else's. Good work. Thank you very much. Bye. Thank you. Bye.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hi. Hello. Hey, man here I'm joined with this very special guest star Renita Gerard nee Farrells, a former Hockeyroo, two time gold winning champion. Stick around. I'm going to come to hear more about who's to.

[00:00:38] Good morning. Welcome back to Kinship. Card on came in your house, then the narrator facilitator, probably game show host is really nice. Why did you just mess up? I'm very fortunate today. I've to a guest every guest that comes on vacation is a special guest. And regardless if you're a personal trainer that lives in Paddington, I just got into personal training with a young lady who's just come out of a major injury, who's now picked herself up and achieve things in a life. Or if you're a former Olympian, gold medallist, twice gold medallist and a whole range of resume eyes, highlights of my sporting career. But now translating that into a corporate world, which is quite inspiring. I'd like to introduce to you reminder now relate. Say hello to everybody. How are you going today?

[00:01:35] I'm very well, thank you. It's lovely to join you. Thank you for your time. Now, Renata, I've got you. You read me the giraffe.

[00:01:43] Grab yourself. Yes. I Gérard Gorod and your former and your friend really love your formally withina Farrell. I understand. Yes, sir. Yes, because related. There's a couple of things. We met on a flight on a point where we're not superheroes. We're not capes. We met on a flight. And now what is I just going to ask for that? Because I've just mentioned Renita is a former Olympian twice I would 1996 in Atlanta, gold medallist, also co-captain of the Hockeyroos and also a member of the the 2000 Sydney Olympics, which were the best Olympics apparently sold out, very keen to define Grenada's. Thoughts on that marinade up on that flight. Could you. What was your. How do we make? Because I was, you know, a bit my my producer Zine who through. Hello. That's Kenen. Podcasting is a great sponsor of what I do. We met on a plane. So what what were your first thoughts when you. We started chatting?

[00:02:52] Well, it's interesting because I remember it quite vividly.

[00:02:55] So you were sitting in the middle seat and I was in the aisle seat and there was a gentleman across. They offer me by the name of Mike Renault's sits on a board with me. And as we got on the plane, he said, oh, that guy's an amazing guy. And he's got a on him. And, you know, I think the main thing I remember is just the energy and the positiveness in our conversation. So actually, you know, normally you get off a flight, you're feeling, oh, gosh, get me home, get me out of here. I was actually feeling quite inspired from our discussion. So it just kind of stuck with me and then we caught up a couple of weeks later. So I think, you know, I really crave positive energy. So that's probably why I've connected with you, in all honesty.

[00:03:33] Wow. I work to be honest, I expect I didn't expect that so of were energized sarcasm. You can't say. But I'm blushing. But certainly, I've got to say, it's like.

[00:03:45] It's likewise. And part of the work we do in kinship with the full black academy is wise to make you a better version of yourself. And like you assign, you just feed off the energy. Because I'm really keen to talk about a couple of things or three things, really. And one of them is it was like, OK, we're both from Townsville. I wasn't born in Townsville. You were. Tell me about your your your life in Townsville, your memories, your highlights. Townsville. What's what's Townsville to you?

[00:04:18] I think Townsville's always home. So I don't live there at the moment. But it is my home whenever anyone asks me where I'm from. I always say Townsville.

[00:04:24] And but I live in Brisbane at the moment and I just have amazing memories. I think, you know, growing up, we lived in a rural area on the north side of Townsville. I went to the bowling, our primary school for all my schooling and some of my brothers and sister and my cousins. We all went there and then we all went to Townsville State High School and did all of our schooling there. So I just remember life being busy. It was busy like it is now. But we were actually outside doing lots of active things, lots of space, know not getting stuck in traffic, you know, and being able to just decide we're gonna go home, Jason, and we've got to play one and go for a swim and you just jump in the car and go without too much planning. I just remember simplicity, I guess, of living in Townsville and and everything being accessible and easy.

[00:05:13] Yeah, that's yeah. That's bringing back memories. Yeah. Because the Bali you little Bali area. Yes. In Bali, you know, those you went to and you went to the Bali. Vail is a Bali Bible school. Yeah I know Palmer's got a little side but it's all about front. And you went to town. Hi. Yes. Yeah. Loved it. Yeah. Well see I was on the other side of the tracks because I was outside the other side of the tracks like. We were short of kids when the body, while we thought my kids were in the gentle way, were tough, like, you have to be tough.

[00:05:42] My brother went to the town hall. I would. I hate you. Because I wasn't tough enough. What do you think? How did they make the grade in debut? So tell me about your guy, your hockey career.

[00:05:55] Don't look up to say I didn't even realise in our conversation. We just connected as people like you said, there was an energy here and then you established that sort of rapport, if you like. And then you told me some amazing things. And I've got to say, this isn't my first rodeo. I've also said next to another another Olympian, Cathy Freeman. I sit next to her in the middle of and I'll sit next to you. And I tell you what. Both times it just inspirational. I want to talk a little bit about your. You're getting into hockey now. It was hockey. Always your sport.

[00:06:39] Yeah, it was. You know, we played everything at home because we had huge acreage. So, you know, we played cricket, rugby league. Everything goes in play.

[00:06:46] Rugby league at that point in time, my brothers did, but my cousins played hockey. And because we had so much space, we almost had like a whole hockey field in the backyard. And every afternoon, you know, we'd all be playing together or because our cousins logical. So, you know, we'd always have 10 or so people out in the yard playing hockey. And I just loved it because it was quiet. It takes a level of skill because you're you've actually got, I guess, your hockey stick. So you've got an apparatus you've got to control. You've got to move people around on the field and you're trying to control the ball. So I really liked the complexity of the sport. So we played a lot. And interestingly, my cousins played in proper hockey in club clubs, but my dad was always thought it was a bit dangerous for girls.

[00:07:28] And it wasn't until my sister was about 13 or 14 that she got to play and I was about seven. So I got to play with it much earlier than she didn't. So yeah. And then I just loved it from. From then, you know, training a few days a week, spend all weekend now that and then a pocket hockey fields.

[00:07:46] I love to get old and build a park. So I did well all of these Inever park where all sides. Well I played rugby league at Millennium Park. I have my brother here to build them parks. All the boys we say, oh, we should get into the park. Look at the park.

[00:08:06] But he was about 10 years I think is about 10 years difference in our age. So what do you should we played it. You played with your your cousins, your brothers and sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:08:18] And I remember my brother's because he was older, my older brother. His friends had come to stay and I'd get them all out there playing. So we had so many walking sticks. So, you know, if they ever came to camp over or something like that, I'd go fishing or something we'd always end up with with enough to know hockey in the backyard. And it's quite funny because I now run into them. Now they remember it and I think they remember me enjoying them to play and to get out there and practise.

[00:08:44] I love that was something you said earlier and you said the complexities of the game. But they're running, you know, just the tick make the strategy and plus controlling a stick on a ball. Have all that that that that excited you. It resonated with you. You felt good doing that school.

[00:09:04] It was really a challenge like it. You know, I could see the challenges in the game. And I always remember talking to a coach who thought I was insane.

[00:09:10] But and I guess when you're on a field, you kind of look through the players on the field. But I always felt when I was playing that I was actually above the field looking down, because you know, how you how you can move people and make spaces and, you know, things like that by using different techniques and moving your players around. It was almost like a big game of chess today, but then you also had to perform the skill.

[00:09:33] So, yeah, it's kind of just the way I am, the way I related to the game, like other people relate differently. So I played in the midfield, which is kind of where the creative people sort of sit, you know, the strikers at the front who scored the goals. Well, you know, they just want one thing and they just put the ball on where they want it. And they weren't about to whack it at the goal as hard as they can. So, you know, a team, a hockey team is made of a whole heap of different people with different attributes and different profiles. And, you know, mine just sort of sat me right in the middle of the field trying to organise things again. So, yeah, I love the challenge of that. That's that's probably the only thing I really miss is that I hadn't played for 20 years. It's just that challenging going on there and managing so many pieces to get the end result.

[00:10:17] Well, I'll go to Cash Converters, get my hockey stick, and we'll go one on one.

[00:10:22] Thank you, baby. Baby. Let me win. Let me win.

[00:10:26] Look, I'm really fascinated, to be honest, that you've you've ignited something in in the way that you play the guy and use. You you were you sort of you have an elevated position or you became a helicopter view, but you didn't. You looked at the field, you saw what may happen here to get that ball to the fore. So you had to move people around. Strategically, the other players. Yeah, but you get a position, they get the ball.

[00:10:54] Yeah. And I guess as you get more, you know, as your career evolves and you get into the international hockey, you know, you spend a lot of time studying your opposition. So you as well as learning the skills of my players on my team and what I'm K-P. Also what I was capable of, like could I actually get that ball there in the right timeframe as well as learning that you're also learning the attributes of the people on the other team and studying them. And we you know, we had folders and, you know, thick, full of assessments of all the other players that we were going to encounter, what their strengths were. You know, all those things with their characteristics. We may not have been accurate, but it was our own kind of assessment. So, you know what you're managing there is a massive amount of data or I guess massive formation yet. So, yeah, it's something that probably I probably didn't realise the complexity of it until many years later when you when you're in it, you just do it and you don't really think too much about it. But now I'm probably more appreciative of it.

[00:11:49] That's it's amazing. So. So every team you pride is internationally is just internationally. You have this research.

[00:11:59] Like, if we if we are playing for Queensland, we pretty much knew the people on the other teams anyway.

[00:12:03] And so, you know, it was the same level of information, probably not as hard to disseminate. So, you know, we we would train with a lot of the people within Australia that we were playing against the will of Queensland. So we kind of knew them well. So we probably carry our books around, but internationally we'd have folders full of information about people on other teams.

[00:12:26] So say the research, the coaching staff would have collected that data. What was it like? For instance, you've played you've got two Olympics, you've got one World Cup in Dublin, two Olympics, two gold medals, World Cup in Dublin, got a medal for Champions Trophy, three gold medals, won bronze. What happened there with you guys? But was a disaster. But it all in between that you'll just play international. Mark, so there's a whole team of like, you know, someone hiding in a tree and sort of some star players, some Argentinian players just getting the good oil on them out of the research just this year. How did that happen?

[00:13:09] A probably a probably wasn't as undercover as you'd think. So in those days, you know, it was probably more limited in those days.

[00:13:17] So, you know, compared to now where everything's televised and, you know, people, you know, just film things on their phone and put them up on the Internet. So access to information was a little bit limited when I was playing. So any information you could actually get was actually valuable. And it was also valuable for us to not let other people have our information. So you could you could train and secret, you know. Mainly because no one was going to fly out to Perth where we trained and come to collect video footage because it was too expensive and they'd have to bring a great big video camera. So we were able to shell out our own, I guess, knowledge's and our own skills from other teams. And then it was a case of getting as much as you could when you're on the road travelling. So we might spend three or four months a year travelling around the world. And in that case, we collect as much footage as we could. And the coaching staff had to teach us how to analyse things. And, you know, we had to we were only young at the time, so we had to learn the value of analysing information. You know, when you were watching somebody else, you had to learn how to stop putting your own views and your own self bias across things and kind of put yourself in their shoes. So we learnt a lot, you know, throughout that period that really helped us, you know, helps me in later life. So it's been yeah, it was it was a journey to learn how to do that. But in the end, we were pretty good. I actually remember one game at the Sydney Olympics where the coaching staff didn't turn up to the to the to the pre-game leading and who ran the team ourselves. So our coaches and our leaders really taught us how to lead ourselves. And part of that was sort of getting getting used to analysing things and being ready for what was going to come out.

[00:15:00] So like purposely not there. They wanted to.

[00:15:02] Yeah, yeah. It was intentional. So so a couple of players just jumped up, I think from memory and took the team meeting and we got out on the field. The coaches obviously went at the game. They came to the game and helped, you know, by the substitutions. We sort of got to that point and that was a long journey. It was probably I don't remember doing that in Atlanta. So it was probably an eight year journey or nine year journey to get us to that point.

[00:15:26] Yeah, because I've got my research and my research did some research. You actually looking at your memories. So you. You're in room from Mazari Hooker Hockeyroos, 1993 to 2000. Yes. All right. So all this intellectual property, if you like, now because because I'm you know, I've got to say this. I thank you for your time, because you've played in a part of world sport dynasties, because the Australian women's hockey team are quite always highly right, always highly regarded, very, very professional outfit, which throughout my sportspersons point of view, I don't believe. And with the men as well. The level of profile we see tend to not get as high profile. But just looking at that successful, if I'm gonna call it franchise as a sport of Australia, it's a transfer that knowledge. And those people have got the skills. But it's that that knowledge, a database of information of players and other teams that needs to be held on to. Because when you look at the day asks you to pass on, were you involved in a bit of a transitional and me over information talk?

[00:16:51] Yeah. Yeah. So I think, you know, generally in Olympic sports, what happens is when when you go to the Sydney Olympics, there were a bunch of us who retired at the Sydney Olympics.

[00:17:02] So that was my last game of hockey. It was at the Olympics. And but there's a continuation. So there's still players. There would have been, you know, 20 players left out of our squad who continued on. And they were able to take that knowledge in the way we learnt how to go about things on their journey. I think in sport, though, probably when I retired in about 2000, the sport well, really, I feel like the performance by sports have really gone up a notch and they've had to make their own journey. So what we did isn't sufficient now or, you know, isn't relevant now. So I think sport changes so fast now that what's important is the culture of learning. It's not so much the the information we had. It's more that when I look at teams who are successful now, they have this continuous evolution, which which is something that I think we started in our team and were able to pass on to the next four people.

[00:18:04] I mean, we're still people I remember we went to the Atlanta Olympics and we changed up the way that our team fights. We had a different playing structure. And I remember afterwards, you know, we just won the gold medal, had been really successful, hadn't lost a game for over 30 games or something. And. And we got back. And when we started our coach, Ric Charlesworth and his team, they just said, well, we can't keep playing like that. And it would've been easy to go, well, we just won using this structure.

[00:18:33] You know, we're obviously in front of everybody else. Why don't we keep going? That just through the whole thing out and start again. And so so we had somebody, for example, who was playing, you know, like as a striker, which is a goal scorer, who at the next Olympics was our left defender.

[00:18:50] So, you know, we just got all messed around and challenged to become better players play differently. And I think in sport now that's the key is how quickly can you evolve and can you keep growing? Because if you just go out every week and keep doing the same thing, people just run over the top of you.

[00:19:06] Yeah, but that's that's gold. I love that culture of learning. So you develop a culture of learning. And I look at some sporting teams now. The world is the big one that comes to mind, is probably one of the most successful franchises sport in that country. The All Blacks and how they manage to be consistently good. And it doesn't come from the skill sets it becomes. Everyone can apply globally, I suppose. But yeah, I suppose that is one percent. It's a learning culture respect. Another New Zealand, the the All Blacks are based on Maori culture, but I actually talk about the cultural strengths of them as a country and then the cornerstone before they get to the business then.

[00:20:00] Yeah. Whereas a hockey side here, you had a culture of learning like that. So that's an interesting. Well interesting. But without people like sportsperson that doesn't get to see that.

[00:20:15] Yeah. Yeah. And I think you're right in that way, you know, especially for the All Blacks like in a sport like rugby union, everyone gets the same access to the same sport science, the same technical information. They've probably got New Zealand coaches coaching half the teams around the world. So they're getting access to their history. Things like that, so what's going to make the difference? And often it's just gonna be your your culture. And for us it was sort of we spent a lot of time dealing with, you know, our psychological strength as well. So not just our physical. And so when you think about it, you know, a lot of people struggle with fear. So you mentioned walking out onto the Olympic final and being overcome with fear of if this all goes wrong, we lose. And, you know, when you're playing for gold and silver, silver is kind of like losing some silver medal play. So we spent a lot of time going, well, how are we gonna deal with that? We actually confronted it because we had built this culture to confront. So we all had spent a lot of time together in small groups on and on our own analysing, well, how are you gonna get on that field and not be overcome by that and be ready to perform. So we spent a lot of time turning that around and going, well, once we get on the field, if we if we actually play to our potential, we've got a great chance of winning. That was kind of like our approach as opposed to if this all goes wrong, we could lose. So our goal was always to get to the main game, which is the gold medal game, and then to make sure we arrive there ready to play at our best. And if we lose, we lose. But if we played our best, there's a high probability we'll actually win. So we spent a lot of time going, what does that actually mean? And when you say play at your best. And I remember we spent I think we had a guy join our off-field team that was a mathematician. And so we spent a lot of time looking at, you know, what what increases the probability of us winning a game.

[00:22:16] So we had these things called local non glan stats. So our coaching staff, I can't remember the exact details, but we analysed that if we did all of these non-glamorous things and we tallied so many of them and half say Forte's in a half, then we would win a high percentage of our games. So when we come off at halftime, the guys in the grandstand would have counted how many of those things we've done and they were not glamorous things that were things like chasing, tackling, intercepting, stopping the play. So if we did enough of those things, then there was a high probability we would actually create a lot of chances in school. So when we got to the Olympic final, that's kind of what we're focussed on. We're not thinking, you know, how we're going to score more goals than the other team we're actually focussed on. Right there is the ball chase. So it's very process orientated, very much focussing on the importance of the outcome, which is take care of itself.

[00:23:09] Wow. That's that's fantastic. I sort of think of those two things. Do teams like you guys a methodic the Olympic teams like methodical and you just described the methodical is a lot going on behind the scenes in terms of hitting that ball on a stick. And like you said, it's the whole plus you have to worry about your individual guy. All I talk about is them the opposition. Then there's us as a team, but then there's me. I got to be part of those three. Yeah. Yeah. So and all the other I sort of think of, you know, I'm looking at I've been watching the The Last Dance. When I met, I met you saying that some of the more moderate Jordan. Incredible, incredible story. Incredible story. And a lot of what you said, interest. Now, interestingly enough, is is sort of captured in that in that flick in that episode because it's called The Lost Things, because they've just won by just won five championships, NBA championships. But even one by one. Four championships. Sorry, I'll go back. When they won three. Jordan left. The team did well. Then my struggle. Then he came back and then I won the fourth. And like you were saying, like it was actually Jerry Krass, the general manager, said, we have to reinvent ourselves. We've got to start trading some of these blinds because we can't keep doing the same thing. And he took it as a business proposition to do that. So similar like you've just said, you've just got to keep evolving. And if it means letting star players go, well, you let them go. So it's that it's that intent of being successful for a long time. I think a lot of teams possibly missed. Don't capture that because. Now, was that, Matt, until what Ric Charlesworth now he's a fascinating character. You play cricket. I think for Western Australia. Yeah. I think you played cricket. Then he became a hockey with what he called a male hockey player. Kookaburras. Kookaburras? Yes, he played for the kookaburras. You can't get hockey to cook American like that. Make up. So the kookaburras. So what was he as a coach? What's one? One one takeaway from Rick Childs with interesting man who kept the women's to your team at the top for a very long time.

[00:25:47] Yeah, it's probably it's hard to give one word for Rick because I just find that, you know, this is incessant learning, development, rigour.

[00:25:57] You know, that he's a living example of how those things can actually get inside of you and be part of your life no matter what you're doing. And and and you can sort of see when you watch the way that he works, that if you actually embrace that life can be so you can open up so many different things for yourself by just believing in yourself and doing the work yourself and being thorough and diligent.

[00:26:23] So I just I was kind of touch on for our team the thoroughness because in life and I guess since particularly in sport, there's always more you can do. So you can always get to the get out on the field for a game, you go, oh, gee, I wish I'd done more penalty point just before today. There's always more. It's kind of like study. So when you're when you're living with that sense of law, how do you live with a sense of I can always do more and I can always get better. Yet you're able to perform when you have to because you can't you're never going to get to the end of your preparation. So we were prepared as well as we could be for everything. Things that never happened. You know, we probably had, you know, four hour penalty corners, which is sort of like a set play in hockey. We would have had on an 30 or 40 penalty corners that we practiced over and over and over again. And we were pristine, you know, amazingly skilled that and we probably used 10 of them, but we practiced the 40 and we were as good at all of them. And in our whole time, I remember he developed a new skill with a particular people on our team who took the strike on the penalty corners. And I think they practiced that skill for eight years and they used it once. So that gives you a sense of confidence that, you know, if you two goes down in the final, you can pull that out of your back pocket and use it because, you know, you're good at it sort of thing. So I think that thoroughness then gives you the confidence that you can then go forward and perform when you have to say it.

[00:27:49] Rick's amazing current there or something you mentioned on the playand which has left me. There's a lot of things you said. I like my very memorable beenable conversation. You said that he rotated your captaincy. Yeah. With the. Tell me a little bit about that.

[00:28:09] So Rick had a belief that everybody's a leader.

[00:28:11] So, you know, if you fall down, Fogle's down in a final, you don't want to just be waiting for one person to pick the team up. So that was the risk we were managing against. So his strategy was, well, you know, the game's going so fast. We all have different leadership skills. We all have different attributes. You know, someone might be good at leading in this situation. Someone might a good leader leading. And that's why, you know, keep them suppressed. Why not bring all of those people to the fore and how they interact together? So he did away with us having a full time captain. At one stage, we had a pool of people. And then by the time we got to the Sydney Olympics, we didn't actually have him and we didn't have Jerry.

[00:28:50] Jerry didn't have a captain at the Sydney Olympics.

[00:28:53] No, we didn't have a captain. But under the rules for sport, you have to assign someone to be the captain for every game. Yeah. And cases and cases of blow up. And, you know, the umpires want to give your team a good talking to or something, something like that. So you have to assign a captain who also has some responsibility during the game, runs the team on the field or whatever, but not in our case, hockey. Such a fast sport, you can't really do anything. So there were when we got to the Sydney Olympics every day, he would just announce a new captain pretty much to fulfil the technical obligation, not really to do anything special. And the idea was that everybody could lead at a certain time. And you'd you kind of we'd spent a lot of time getting to know each other like incredible amount of time with our sport psyche, you know. So we all knew what everyone could bring to the table depending what the situation actually was. So that's kind of the way we worked. I mean, I was fortunate I was nominated as the captain in the gold medal game, but really that was just sort of tossed the coin. The team just manages themselves.

[00:29:53] So there was Atlanta. You were the gold medal captain centre in Sydney. What were you, the captain in Sydney?

[00:30:00] Yes, in the gold medal game in Atlanta. Some of these things that we did with Rick, we kind of worked on. It took eight years, right, to get to that point. So when he first took over the team, we had a captain and we kind of transition. And we've spent a lot of time growing as people. And it wasn't until eight years later that we were ready for that. So, you know, you've got to invest a lot of time in your people to make sure that they're ready for it, you know, if you going to take away a framework that they used to. He certainly challenged us and then him and his off field team would get us ready to make the most of that. So, you know. What I really loved it and it sort of, yeah, hockey is such a fast forward.

[00:30:39] It's hard for one person to really influence anything. You really need your whole team forming at their best.

[00:30:45] I think that's a I think that's awesome. It's like this. This podcast is called Kinship Code and the kitchen code from the Food Academy. Everyone's ladylike. It's about you doing your job and doing it well. But bring other people with you. And once you do that, the Aboriginal and Torres Strait on the yarding circles. We do. We do it in a circle because there is no one at the head of the table. It's a about it's a circle. Everyone's a leader. Everyone's a leader in the chain.

[00:31:15] Do you think that when you think about it, it's so simple? It's some you know, it's simplifying. How do we get this group of people, whether it be a group of people with a particular culture or something? How do you get them to perform at their best when you get all of them to step up and be their best and contribute? So it's it's so transferable.

[00:31:34] Miriam, I'm not to plug my business. That's actually what I take. The corporate Australia is how we make every person in your organisation leader, because currently leadership is a pyramid system. It's a pyramid system. And as you know, pyramid systems are legal. But a pyramid system is that someone someone leads and you follow. Whereas if someone who opens the tall guy, the security person at the front, why come I really what comes of the lollypop person and then what will that bring to an entire team team of to do that? But that's what I'm keep the kinship in the workplace and I talk about. Kinship is bigger than leadership. Leadership is a commercial context. And that's another matter podcast. Now, the Chicago Bulls obviously like six NBA premierships in the last year. They there's nothing think Jordan was really going to retire. They came up with a model. That's what they call that, the last dance. And this is all because the coach was the Jerry Kraske, the general manager is not the coach's guy. This is his last. This guy was the most successful coach in NBA. But Jerry knew is he didn't wait till was gonna fall. He said, now I'm going to get rid of it now and start rebuilding. But in place was a place of learning. So did you did that, Rick? Do you have a mantra or did you have anything to aspire to? What was that bar? Because you got your team like very successful Olympic medals, world championship medals, Champions Trophy, boom. So let's.

[00:33:11] Yeah, we had a few different. And once again, we evolved all the time. I mean, for Atlanta, we had a it was a mission statement. And so we had it was 10 things on a mission statement. And I remember the quote at the bottom was one of those JFK quotes. And it was something like, you know, we choose to do this not because it's easy or hard or whatever. You know, we're going to learn. So we did that and we all had to sign it. And then I remember things on there, you know, in a team where about, you know, being prepared to accept decisions made for the team, a personal friend. So there were some very personal things in that in our Ten Commandments. And so that was out thing for Atlanta. Then as we transitioned to Sydney, we we kind of went for a whole heap of different things that I remember. One of the things we had is we made up a rhyme maybe, and there were just enough letters, not everybody in the team. So everyone in uniform had a training uniform. And it just had me, like my managers had some quotation marks on it and yours might have had the word to come. So the idea was when you see them individually, they look a bit strange, like if you're running down the street with a shirt, it just has become more B. But once you put them all together. So it was about how we are a whole team. So we made up this some the saying and then everyone got allocated random random laundry, went out and all of our training. Gill, some of our training goals got printed with those words. So yeah, we went through all different phases. But once again it was just, you know, in Atlanta, the team had this 16 players in it. They weren't the same 16 people in Sydney. So we we didn't stay with what we had. So we evolved that they were a different generation. Some of the younger guys in the teams, they had to make sure you including a little more intensity.

[00:35:00] What we're gonna be wrapping up soon, but this is obviously jointness. Now, the other Olympian offset next is Cathy Freeman. And interestingly enough, she told me about Atlanta and Sydney. She's told me that she for Atlanta Olympics, she had the same thing. She had an affirmation, but she learnt that affirmation from a child in Cloncurry. I think it was her stepfather, Opta. Cathy, what do you want to do at the age of 10 or 11? Cathy said, I want to run at the Olympics. And she said, Alright, well, I got this postcard. Right. I will run at the Olympics and he stuck that on her bedroom room, made a light switch. So every time she'd go to bed at night, you'd have to look at that side. And that was the last thing she saw. Yeah. I am going to the Olympics. And when she woke up, I walked at the door. It was the first thing that she actually visualised. And it became a thing where it just disappeared. But it was still way. And so she took this affirmation, the next step, the next make them. And she said in Atlanta, she came second to Mary Jo's Parisians and the French rama. Are you with a guy? And so she was disappointed, but then she realised she had actually written on her card. I will run out one point, whatever it was. Forty six. Perez ran one forty three or something. But Kathy beat the forty six. She ran better than that. So she thought, OK, let's change that. Let's put on the next card for Sydney. I will win regardless of the time. She put that on the thing. She said, I will win at the Sydney Olympics. And as I say in Hollywood, Mary MOTTRAM And the rest is history. It's all an affirmation. Look, it's been an absolute pleasure talking to you. I got one more thing to ask you now. Vera, what's your favourite tree? Tell me. I'm going somewhere once you file the blue because I'm welling up now.

[00:37:04] What's your favourite tree?

[00:37:07] I don't know. I think any sort of any sort of gum tree, any sort of natural trinket.

[00:37:12] Yeah. Yeah. A gum tree. Yep. Strong. Solid. Yeah. Australian. Pretty much like. Now you're the gum tree sees a scenario. It's a really lovely day. There's a there's a nice fire going on. It's just starting to sunstone to go down. And it's just a lovely vibe. Then if you drink alcohol or not, we could be drinking, you know, something warm, a cup of tea, and then you have the opportunity to invite three people. And I usually go for you. Well, I'll ask you. Being an elite sportsperson. What will. Who are the three people in your sporting globe in your eyes? Who are the three sporting people you invite but living past or whatever? They don't have to be a superstar. It doesn't have to be someone. We will not. Three people.

[00:38:05] Three people. All right. Well, I'd have to invite Rick because he'd I need some feedback every now and then. So he'd certainly come along with a bit of feedback and let me know how I'm travelling. So I'd certainly have to invite him along. I think I love people who have longevity in their sport. Because it shows their real commitment to that. So I think someone like Cameron Smith, you know, real down to earth, I don't know how you play a contact sport like that.

[00:38:37] Yeah. This is Cameron Smith, the rugby league player because. Yeah. Hammersmith Golf. Yeah. Well, yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:44] And probably the other one because she's local and I've tried this sport and I'm not an individual sports person. And and I always. And these are lot all things. But I'd really love to make Carawan as well, because, you know, she grew up in and which is just down the road from me. I remember following her career significantly and I really feel fortunate. I guess I played a team sport. I've had that kinship experience and I really feel for those guys who do individual sports and they're out. I played in a golf tournament and I just found that quite frightening because you don't have your team around you and I just love to get into their psyche and I have work.

[00:39:26] I think, look, I'm going to come back to this report just on that point. You just have to re why you, Brian? I think once you are to be honest with you, what we've spoken about, I think you anyone can be a single player and you include it. I think you've got the I think what you've the advantage you've got is you've really got the wiring there. You just have to change the colour coding to try to tap into other other one. It's a bit like I'll go back to the last dance again on this blog. And this may be on the last dance when Jordan left. But basketball, he went to my high school and as you know, two different sports. So he had to change his training, its physicality to fit the. And they actually said if he was stuck at all, if you were a stuck out at that sport, he would have made the major leagues. Yeah, but then the big strike, the baseball struggling to he came back and then he went and he played basketball, but he struggled to get back into basketball, but mentally and physically. But you just it's like riding a bike. Once you get your balance that. To be honest, I think I won't be playing you golf. Put it that way.

[00:40:39] It might be talent like that might be talent.

[00:40:41] I'm lacking imagination that other things are also. Also, I just what I mentioned also. You're also Queensland's first female board member on the Queensland Rugby League board. So congratulations on that big milestone on the heels. Yeah, I think in older aspects of the blokes. Well, anyway, I won't go there. That's not. And secondly, you're also the board chairperson of the Townsville Port Authority. Yes. And you and you've also been on the board of the Hockeyroos team, the Hockeyroos international body. Yeah. So Renata Jarad, Mia Farrow, it's been an absolute pleasure sharing. The last, I think is 40 minutes and my producers. It is a great interview.

[00:41:34] And I will die, which we have. We have a spike on the fly nearly all the way. We. It was two hours. So but I'm really keen to maybe revisit. Obviously, I know neither Paris may buy it. Is your copy allegan. I'm a friend of it. We speak on it. I'm gonna send this come down on the centre.

[00:41:51] The lead. Yeah. Yeah, it's I mean it's been an absolute. Well thank you so much. And that. Yeah. Just thinking swinging that golf club. I think it was a preference thing by you.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hello. Welcome back. The kinship code. Hey, man, here and today we're going to be talking to a couple of friends of why. Well, with this episode in talking about everyday stuff that impacts on them. Stick around. Could you?

[00:00:38] Good morning. Good morning from my Brisbane, I guess, Brisbane, Australia, man. Back with you, a guy and my last episode, we got to speak with Jasmine Cruz on her journey and her life. And she was my very first, very first premier of having a guest online. And I'm very proud to say I've got my second guest for this episode. And we met some years ago. But I'm going to introduce you to Julie Smedley. Julianna, cool J. I said really cool. But you know what?

[00:01:11] I welcome you for having me. I'm great. Thank you. I mean, I was with Mountain. You've been hiking in the mountain. Wow. What time did you start?

[00:01:21] Seven. Seven. And how long? How long? Couple of how long? Couple of hours. Fantastic. Fantastic. That Jillian already boarded you into the kinship code because all fine. Ever since I met you from actually from the very first minutes of meeting you, I picked up an energy that resonated to my kinship code way of thinking it back in the day when we first met. I didn't actually know what this kinship code was or where it was taking me to the point to today. I've done a bit of reflection and you know, when we've reconnected just recently and I've gone now, this lady is pretty much in line with with, you know, the kinship code is about Todd. That's why it bothered you in tonight to have a chat. And just before you go on, I want to ask you a question, Julian. He's a question for you. So are you happy with that description of just say it? I hope it might sense and dogs, you know?

[00:02:24] Yeah, I agree. I think we do connect on a lot of different things.

[00:02:28] OK. Well, before I got to the question, what way you what you where what connection, what where do you see a connection between what I do, which is I try to live a kinship kind of. And what what's the connect for you in your life, in your view?

[00:02:43] I think using your God given talents to actually empower others is something that means a lot to me. And I feel you do that. I love your enthusiasm. I'm pretty high energy, too. So I appreciate that and others. And. And I just like the way that you've taken what your parents taught you. And you're using that to help other people do what they need. It's empowering people and stopping the negative talk. You know, being positive is a big thing for me.

[00:03:16] Say judgement, stop. Give me goosebumps. Julia, you're starting to give me goosebumps because I believe when people actually speak the same language or on the same frequency. I think energy is a lot more. We're doing this through Wi-Fi. This podcast, this zoo, it was palpable. I think the human spiritual energy is new, comes up with 17 times. It was 72. And that's the power. And I think what you've said earlier, thank you for that in terms of how you've picked up. I want to help other people. And it's something I didn't even think of doing. I just the way my parents see it's inherent now, because when we talk about this light up, there's two questions I'm going to ask you. The first one is in terms of a tree, what is your favourite tree and why is that tree your favourite tree?

[00:04:20] OK. So trees my nature to me. I love nature because there's something that comes off trees that just changes who you are inside. That's definitely osmosis with the trees. I love the willow.

[00:04:40] I just love it. It it looks beautiful. It swishes in the wind. And whenever I look at one, it feels like pastand normally near water.

[00:04:51] And so to me, that's just the essence of nature, is if you've got this beautiful tree and it gives you shelter as well. And I've recently learned that even the bark is medicinal. It's it takes away pain. But I think trees take like pine.

[00:05:07] But that's stunning. There's a couple of things. They my last guest, Jasmine Curs, she picked the willow tree as well. And she was by a creek river. And yet it's about not giving given to others, yet giving to others the tree, the humble tree. And it gives so much and it seems so much of it here, so much. It's been the trees that this beautiful, like you're saying. I found it in terms of where on from Julian. When we talk about kinship, talking others with us, it's about looking after ourselves to look off the others and also to look after Mother Earth. And I think the tree metaphore is a great way to start conversations around the kinship card and the kinship card. And look, you've said. My parents didn't set out to give me this, but they just said, look, this is how you live and they just live that life. And I'll bet your parents and I can see you with this love to us. Where is this internal us come from? Meuler and Kinship. Cardinal said this early. The judgement of the mother aside is that my kinship code is regardless of what on feeling during the day, regardless if I'm feeling good or excellent, bad, terrible. I'm feeling ugly and I'm just in a bad mood. My code, my personal kinship code is to make sure everybody, whether that man, woman, children, even animals that I do not project that whatever I'm feeling the negativity, I'm sure that there's only positive Tiffanie being passed, that empowerment to others, even though I could have depression as you as well.

[00:06:53] The minute you let off your positivity, it actually comes back to you as well. Automatically you feel better as well.

[00:07:01] Beautiful. So when you say that, Julianne, what what do you what where are you speaking from, Zipp, from your own experience or is it from research or what what what's got you there?

[00:07:15] Well, you've met my dad. My dad is the guy of the castle.

[00:07:19] And he sits there and he goes, are the serenity. And he says, I'm the richest bloke alive. You know, it's not about money. It's about it's about gratitude.

[00:07:31] And there's always, always, always something to be grateful for. Doesn't matter what's happening in your life.

[00:07:38] And I find I'm on personal China. I get up at 5:00 in the morning and some mornings I don't feel like being positive, but the minute and I can be really down when I get there.

[00:07:51] And then the minute I stop moving music and encouraging people, my whole world changes everything to stunning.

[00:07:59] That's only one word that is coming. I love that. I love that because it's so true. Like a human being and the people that you would get this, Julia. Because when you get with other people, your energy, their energy. If there's lack of energy, you'll just you'll code to help others just comes back and then you find yourself in this real positive spice. People say to me, kind of, how can you be happy all the time? I'm happy all the time. There are times I'm feeling like show, but it's not the decision side that I expand on that plays well.

[00:08:37] Sometimes you have to actually just go, okay, I'm going to I'm gonna put my best foot forward. And once you put your best foot forward, it be the natural way that you are comes out.

[00:08:51] But you have to sometimes you have to put that foot forward deliberately and make a decision that I'm going to take that step. And with that action, the rest just flies. It just comes with it.

[00:09:05] Yeah. How long? So. So in terms of that voice with job-seekers, who was just talking to my previous guest, the previous episode job, who I used to work with, people who were pretty vulnerable, that feeling pretty down but haven't got a job. They got my money. Some of them are close to homelessness, if not homeless. And I sell them because simply find it. You can start straight away to change your life. How soon? What's your take on? How soon can someone start changing their lives? I mean, was it in terms of making the decision?

[00:09:41] Well, it starts with thinking and it starts with belief, I think. I don't know about a timeframe on how I'd say a time frame. Everyone's different, but I do believe that if they're given the tools and often that's love. If they're given the tools and someone who believes in them and someone who can maybe tell them which foot to put in front of the other, it can actually.

[00:10:10] It just depends when they get when they actually get into what their natural gift is. And it's about finding that. And it's that's empowering. I think is is finding that natural thing that that you put on this earth to do and to share. And I think when people are feeling better about themselves, that more open to what they get.

[00:10:32] Fantastic. Absolutely. I was gonna say you have a fantastic voice on this.

[00:10:37] Well, thank you.

[00:10:41] You have thought that that I know you have you have you had the other yet? Now look nice to work with the Bundarra with with job-seekers. And I see a little tease from people because I used to look like a tree, like the will.

[00:10:58] I'd like to nurture it and like your signs about giving people the tools and the tools I used to use in those settings with people that come in and you know. And not only that, in the in the job active and I'll say this publicly in the job, Dave, where people gotta to get the youth allowance or their job allowance from the government. It's a pretty tough and sometimes scary environment where people are stood on the side of inspect. And when I get people, I sit there, they're broken and they even feel worse sitting there on my side of them. Look, where you are at the moment does not define who you are yet. You see that things will get better. And you know what I know? And while I'm in that mode, I turned to them and I said, you know how long it takes you to start changing your life to think like that. I said less than a second. It takes a brain y to go through it. I'm out. I'm gonna do something with my life. I'm going to get up. And sure, one might wake up with the best. Don't want to get up and have a shower and go for a walk. I'm going to start doing stuff, getting out. And then and little girls you're talking about is that I think I'd call it the tools. It's the human spirit, too. It's about how do we nurture? How do you nurture the human spirit? You know all about what you're like and like you've always got a smile and a smile. Look at that. Look at that gorgeous smile. Look.

[00:12:27] To be honest, when you did that, I just I felt, Mark, my facial muscles just reacted.

[00:12:35] But it's interesting because all these things we take for granted, like smiling, acknowledging somebody very important.

[00:12:43] Don't you think, Julian, looking them in the eye and acknowledging people? People just want to be nice. They just want to be acknowledged.

[00:12:50] And in the mornings when you're hiking. I love it. Have people always say hello to one another? At some it's it's on in the mornings, especially in Queensland is a Queensland thing doesn't happen in Melbourne.

[00:13:01] Everyone just says, hi, good morning. How are you going? You can't come away from that. Not feeling better.

[00:13:08] You've been here while other people and a lot you know, it's interesting you say that what form that to when I'm walking in the mornings. But especially in Brisbane, there's like a lot of camaraderie that I guess what you've got out of it. We get, you know, one of the sleeping.

[00:13:27] But you did that and let's celebrate.

[00:13:32] Yeah, it's an early morning. I'd it's the early morning, guys. It's got a sign.

[00:13:38] Don't ever give up. Keep going on with you. And it's the fact that I'm getting goose bumps. Goose bumps. It's about just like keep on going. Keep on travelling. Keeping mobile. But, you know, sometimes if when you walk. But then trains like that to site lunch talk Westfield. Well, I hope people that promise fruit, people that sort of say what you like, but not as comraderie, if you like. Yeah. What what are your thoughts on that?

[00:14:08] Yeah, I think there's definitely something about the morning code that you're in it together. They're looking after yourself. I'm a great believer in exercise, obviously, because I feel like it knows the inertia. So if you feel it.

[00:14:25] Sorry, Heather. The question is, what's the inertia main? Sorry.

[00:14:30] Inertia is something that. That it's an energy that sort of stops you from doing what you want to do it. If you don't want to lose, you don't want to move inertia. Can they just say you're feeling something and you're stuck? Movements can help you move through that feeling of being stuck. And yeah, that that's why I hope that's what it means. But it moves it moves things forward. When your cellular li, you can walk through a problem. I really, really believe that. I think that you can move a problem through your body and it just stops things from sticking there and staying there.

[00:15:14] You can move through it. And I think that early morning walk does that. And then you've got sunshine and and and people and I think there is a code in the morning and people are very, very saying.

[00:15:25] Yeah, absolutely. And Julianne, so if you like someone I don't know the answer to this. Like the kind is also like when it's not in the morning and someone's walking. Long the Mai Mai seem lost or whatever the small dollar a year. That's still a coat that I like to do as well. And I know you do that as well. But not everybody seems to want to share something so simple as a smile. What's on your coat? Because that's especially in the cities. I find that people are so busy with their own life in this moment, running their own lives.

[00:16:03] And I believe with the COVID-19, it's actually put the brakes on us running in that straight line just to sit back a bit and think about it all slided. People are dying in all due respect to the families and also the ones we've lost globally. I think it's being, though, the polls, not the positive, but certainly a reaction to this is to people who just stop and get off the treadmill that we all seem to be on them and breathe a bit more.

[00:16:32] I definitely am feeling that my feeling about this is like a computer reset and you shutting down the computer. But what I really, really feel is that we have to be very, very careful about the programs and applications that we put back in. Do we really need all of them? And I don't think we do. I think people should look at that program, look at that application before they install it back on their computer and go to a really, really need this in my life.

[00:17:01] Is this serving me? Is it critically important that my children have forty five after school activities? Is it critically, critically important that I work until 7 o'clock every night? How much of it is needed?

[00:17:19] And I think people are realising they don't need a lot of the stuff I thought they needed each. They don't need the the huge, expensive holidays.

[00:17:28] They might I think some people may realise that they only want to work part time and that's how they go.

[00:17:35] Let's go. Absolutely. Absolutely correct. Oh, somewhat. Yeah. I think it might look in a way that I'm going to include you. You're a bit like me. We like with Social Butterfly is more correct in saying that our slightly flawed.

[00:17:51] Oh, no, I'm not coping with no hugs.

[00:17:54] Oh, Dowlan at all.

[00:17:58] I'm not doing well.

[00:18:00] Oh, I've got a cat. I've got a cat who I don't take. She's probably sick of me now hugging her.

[00:18:05] But they only have you when they want to die. On their terms.

[00:18:12] On their terms or with servants. Julia kept with servants. You get with the program. Cat servants. Not because I being a social butterfly. You're right. The hugs and touching and that just just touching people. I think you like him. A punch on the shoulder boob. But I had taken something away from this because Omentum spent more time at home because I still do the social. Come on now. Physically fit. I've been in terms of being forced to do yoga and are only now meditating for the first time in about 10 12 years. I'm back to meditating. Awesome. And on Thorning. I woke up this morning and actually when I actually breathed, I don't think God breathed that deep since I was in primary school. Wow. Because I didn't have all this. I'm just gonna. Hang on, hang on, hang on. I know my life will change more of the Covid. Well, jury, now I'm gonna be a different breed of cat.

[00:19:17] Yeah. Think a lot of people will be.

[00:19:20] I hope that that's correct. Now, Julianne, I'm going to ask you another two more questions to ask you. You've been a fantastic guest, by the way. Thanks. Hey, man. I mean, how out to deal if you had a kid, like as I said before, what you should code is. Every experience I had with another human being, woman, man, child, even animals. I try to be the most positive and uplifting for them, for them. But they get more out of that than I do. But I will get a return. That's my kinship code at the moment in my life. This is might be putting you on the spot tonight. Just tonight. Now, this very second. What's your ketchup cut for you?

[00:20:07] For me, I'm an encourager. That's number one. I want to make people feel like they're. I've been encouraged to once I've spent time with me. And I also want them to feel sane for who they are and that I appreciate them. That sort of thing.

[00:20:28] Yeah. Yeah. I'm really I'm really interested in people. So I ask a lot of questions and and I get into this story and. And enjoy that and and just. Yeah. I don't like listening. It makes them feel heard. It makes them feel sane. But yeah, I'm very much in the positivity side of things, too. And the encouragement side I can feel.

[00:20:53] I give you a hug, please. Julian, this will be my last question. Okay. Now, how does encouraging you? How does the person give so much to others like the willow tree? You know that you're there for a century sometime.

[00:21:14] These trees are there for centuries, giving, shy, giving posture, giving you keeping the economy, the eco system along like a tree. How does that encourage? How do they keep their own self nurture? What does Julianne Smedley GI known to her friends? How does she keep her vibe?

[00:21:37] Okay. Number one, gratitude.

[00:21:41] Number two, Gillian, gratitude explained what gratitude means to you so that people know your definition. Please. Okay.

[00:21:51] Gratitude for me is taking a deep breath every morning and several, several times a day.

[00:21:58] And this all is something to be grateful for. Always, always, always, always, always something.

[00:22:05] Even if it's just a smile and a straight something like that. I think that's all. Look, I'm I'm blessed because I was born with my my glass half full. And I say it helpful. I never see it, I think. And I also have learned since I've gotten older that any time I don't feel like that it's temporary. And I say it to my clients all the time. They complain about, you know, they they're worried about the size or their fitness or something like that. And that there's only one thing to say. And that's it's temporary.

[00:22:38] Everything is temporary. Good, bad in-between. Love a bar. So even a nice times when you don't feel like you feeling that grateful, it's temporary and there's always something to be grateful for. So I love nature. So all I have to do is go out into nature and my heart just goes, oh, great, beautiful love.

[00:23:03] I love that. And that's why I hike that five times a week. If you're a mountain.

[00:23:11] Wow. So giving back, giving back to yourself, spooling yourself back for me is rest.

[00:23:18] I know some people need to have a nap or something like that. Hiking for me is a arrest. And I know that's weird, but that's how I regenerate. I listen to podcasts. I listen to music. Or I just listen to the birds. Or I go with a friend who's uplifting. And I've got several friends that feel myself. And and I go with them and we've fill each other's tanks while we're doing it.

[00:23:44] And there's two things you've mentioned. There is. And it's interesting, you talked about it all this lovely things for yourself by yourself. And people might call that selfish. Well, it can be selfish because what you've just said is you need to recharge your batteries. Correct. That then be better while others.

[00:24:03] Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And I had a lot to go to bed very early and I'll get up early.

[00:24:10] But I sleep is imperative to me for recharging. And on the on a bit of a sleep Nazi, I don't go out light my life. I just. Everyone knows I turn into a pumpkin about 9 o'clock and. But that's what I do. And I think sleep is really underrated.

[00:24:32] You know, you're right. And the second thing, the second profound, lovely thing you say was you went through this path where you nurture yourself. It's about Jai in her time in her Beiser music, who walks her talk for self talk. And then you went, OK, that's dumb. Then I surround myself with all the like minded people that do my soul. How important is that?

[00:25:01] It's really, really, really important to to refill your tank. And I know who they are. And I'm at an age now where it's funny. A lot of people who drained me in the past because because I love people, I tend to collect people. And sometimes it got a bit much. I was only giving. But now I've I've I've got a team of people who it's both ways. You know, sometimes one's strong. The other one's not. And that we fill each other's time since it's very reciprocal.

[00:25:36] Beautiful. Yep, surrounding yourself with positive people who you keep that half glass full, but also you can actually make that glass runneth over. Just like your cup runneth over.

[00:25:49] Absolutely. And it often does. And that's where gratitude is.

[00:25:53] That's being grateful for people in your life. And every day.

[00:25:59] Yeah. Like I'm just gonna share something this morning. I'm usually up at 4:30 and I'm usually working. But I did my yoga. I tried it in my yoga then. But later in the day.

[00:26:12] But today I wake up, I'm feeling exhausted. And to be honest. I go do these podcasts and I'm being honest. I'm tyred of it. I'm in a pretty busy week. And zine that my producer from my that's not Canon casting a great sponsor of the kinship guide. Great man. I got up and I thought, you know what? I'm just going to watch some Netflix and I've watch the destruction and keep Chris Hemsworth. I'm a fan of the Hemsworth man. But then I decided I'm going to stop that. It's a bit of fun to watch the show. I watch the second time and I jumped in the car, went up the right opposite one of the coffee and the guy and just highlighted some people. I went to the coffee, got a coffee. And as I was driving out, I went up into a comfortable ride and the sun was coming through the end of the street. And to be honest with you, I'm getting goose bumps talking about it. I pulled over to get my phone out because there's no car on the road. And this was like 6:15. There was no car. The orange light come through the street. It was as if God was talking to me. My God, I thank God. Thank you, Lord, for this gift. Yeah, this gift, which I'm being selfish, but no one else is seeing this gift at this moment.

[00:27:31] In this time I I noticed it anyway.

[00:27:35] Correct. That's good point. I know from the same from. I didn't fight. I did. The father of that. That 7 5. And I'm going to put on Facebook later because it was an incredible fun night. And I thank God. And, you know, it's been an honour to have you. And also, Jasmine and you know, this Blakey's sign, we're just having a check like how Harvard Gold, albeit it all started with that lovely sunrise which was bestowed upon me. And I was grateful for that. And that's why I can come in and be awesome on this podcast with all of you people.

[00:28:15] And you are.

[00:28:18] And it's about the little thing. So the highlight of my day was that sunrise, that highlight lights up, my energy, my spirit. So I can just continue being the light that I can be the best possible light for others. Yeah. Julie Smedley, it's been an absolute pleasure.

[00:28:41] Ditto came in to chat with you.

[00:28:43] And we all do this again, girlfriend.

[00:28:47] I'm again keep zooming because, you know, you're because you're in this mind for this. You've just got that charisma, presence, charisma. You look great.

[00:28:56] They're like two kinds take up and you look really good at that.

[00:29:02] Look, I'm just really I'm just really proud to be your friend. I truly am.

[00:29:07] All the feeling is mutual. Absolutely.

[00:29:10] And yeah, I look forward to that. We're gonna be friends forever. But certainly sharing more this journey about kinship, cut your coat, whatever you do.

[00:29:20] So Jillian's, Mitali, it's been a pleasure. You just have a you don't have that. You keep eyes, your magic, fabulous guys. Absolutely. Thanks for coming on. Thank you.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hello, welcome back. The kinship guide. Hey, man, here and today we're going to be talking to a couple of friends of why. Well, with this episode in talking about everyday stuff that impacts on them. Stick around. Could you guys?

[00:00:38] Well, a very happy, warm welcome to my very special lady. Actually, my first ever guest in the whole wide world or kinship, quite a very good friend of mine. Jasmine, how are you?

[00:00:52] Good. How are you?

[00:00:54] Ah, you know, I'm amazed. I'm amazing. And I think my regular listeners will not why I'm advising. And it's because, you know, some of the things that we got through life, but we need to pick ourselves up in terms of our resilience. And saying amazing becomes a tool and that I use to help me get through life. And that's why I've invited you here today. Jansa I'm really keen to talk to you. You inspire me. You're a young lady. You're twenty three. Tell me a bit about yourself, Jess.

[00:01:30] Well, I I've been through a few things. My family my my dad's Puerto Rican. My mum is an Italian refugee. We didn't have a lot growing up, so we went through a few different rough patches throughout life. I have been through a couple of domestic violence relationships, both physical and mental experience, a lot of mental health. Myself and I didn't go through a lot of high schools due to bullying and so forth, but family myself on the other side of the tracks. Now I'm looking at really high end job, which pays a lot of money as well, which is great because I've had to pay a lot of debts and sort myself out. And, you know, now I'm looking at things, you know, learning the lessons that I should learn early out, but looking back and realising that I needed to learn them now opposed to, you know, earlier in life.

[00:02:21] And there's certain things that happen for a reason later in life. And I think, you know, that's why I am who I am today, is because of all the tough lessons I had to learn earlier.

[00:02:31] Wow. That's amazing. Because if you don't mind me saying just Jason's twenty three healton. When I was twenty three, I was still trying to work out with the boys locker room was. Do you even worry about myself looking in questioning things? And I was just in the state of I was just moving along and just trying to fit in and everything else and struggling. And then I you know, jasin I had a conversation earlier in the week. And then she said she's been through a hell of a lot with her life and domestic violence at a young age. A very young age. I've got to say just what I can say at 17. Yeah. Well you you you've sort of come to a point where you've just gone like her. Yep. This is it. And it's interesting because as being so young, I'm just can't wait till you are like another ten years tall, hoping you'll be awesome. Just tell me in terms of your clothing, what has really helped you sort of move from where you are? Because when you're at that spice, you're not feeling vulnerable. You're open to a lot of lot of other negativities and self-hate as well. Self-loathing, self-doubt. How did you navigate through that tunnel and to watch that little, little spark of light to go right that spot?

[00:03:59] Be the bigger I found for me personally, it was trying to focus on a particular task at a particular thing. And for me personally, I I find it says, well, well, for me, it was the one thing that I could control in my life. And so I grasped on to that and just took control of that. And I found that once I was able to do, you know, get a hold of those kind of things, I was I was able to convince myself that I could be better and I could do things. And once I started doing that self-love or that self talking and sort of convincing myself that I could do other things. You know, like dieting and losing the weight that I need to do. And once I started doing now, I was able to improve my health drastically. And then once I saw that my health was improving, my financial situation improved, everything else sort of just fell into place because of that self-love and that self growth that I had been able to approve. And it was just that one small thing that I knew that I could control the wall my entire life was chaos. And that was just such a small thing like budgeting.

[00:05:05] It was just that one thing that said, look, you're killing me. Here's Thompson, Zion, Zion, Zion, my producer from. That's not kind of podcasting. You do a fantastic job, too, by the way. Find Zion for sponsoring kinship. Koepp Zion. He will listen to all. My gosh, he's got my choice. He's recording boy. Talk about the very thing. I talk about the very thing you talk about. It's about the internalizing of your. Friends and not not looking outside for approval, not looking outside for their hand up because it all starts with them. It definitely does. Jazz wit, can you remember? Just go back to the very beginning in your lowest point with you, your health suffering like, oh, can I all listeners, not jasmines lost 50 kilos, 50 kilos. She was unemployed financial, as you said, she was financially struggling. And now she's getting paid. She's actually she's getting paid more money than I get paid now. But she's good to getting good money. And that's only a short period of time is an adjustment. What was a timeline and when did you when did you hit the point of bouncing off that trampling and saying, enough's enough?

[00:06:29] So I actually was about a six month period between when I had hit rock bottom and to now essentially I had to resign from my last job because of significant health reasons. And it was around about the same time that everything else had pretty much just gone down the drain. And then it was during that six month period that I had being on benefits that I had really had a reality check as such and realised, no, this is my time that I can use to grow. I don't have technically any responsibilities other than myself. So I use that to grow myself. And and it worked beautifully. And that's how I am, where I am beautiful.

[00:07:12] I love that jazz look within the script and you feel like I just I just love this conversation or where I come from. You know, this yarn we're having because. Yeah, it becomes a point in your life way. You just have to grab you a lot of your control of your life. You're plainly articulating that in this conversation. And go back to what you said earlier. You've mentioned, you know, it was your responsibility and you something you can control. I say this in my podcast. Is that the only thing you control in this world? You'll come in butt naked and then you'll go out in a pine box. But the only thing in between. But like in an entry in the pine box exit is that you only have control over yourself. What are your thoughts? This can be a little bit of your logic. And in terms of having control over something you can control as opposed to not having control over others in other situations.

[00:08:20] I think that's something that comes back to. I learnt a lot in clinical services, for example. There's a lot that you can't control. And I think if it came down to it towards the end of my career and employment services, I learned that the one thing I could control, control essentially is assisting job seekers to reach a social outcome over financial outcomes and those kind of things. And I found a greater success rate with those who I work to get to a social, social outcome opposed to, you know, employment or a education outcome, because I had succeeded in their personal life.

[00:08:56] And and that was something that got them further in something that was something that also helped me as well. I said, well, if I can do it, I can do it, too. It's broken. And some of those job seekers, as you have seen yourself in employment services, they have hit ball even sometimes below rock bottom. And they need that support from someone just to get a social, you know, whether that be leaving the house one day a week or in a country, the shock upon themselves or even just buying a new set of clothes just to help them feel better. It's just that small thing that they need to have to feel better and improve, improve their life.

[00:09:32] You look absolutely just desperate. I met this impressive young lady about three years ago. Jazz was a she was a receptionist at a job employment place and a job active and tough industry. But like jazz is saying, we get to work with vulnerable people. And jazz is you just. Yeah. She's just nailed it. You see people at the lowest but come into your life and. Yeah. And it's interesting. And it's a little bit like my kinship mantra. I've got my own personal mantra of people and listeners know more. You know, kinship code is your code. There's not referees, no umpires, no committee looking in on you. You have a certain code, a kinship code to keep the world ticking, but more importantly, to keep yourself going. My code is it everybody I make, regardless of what how I feel, whether I feel good or excellent.

[00:10:35] But. Ugly, really ugly. I don't care. I'm not going to share that energy with you. I want to make sure my conversation with the other person is an uplifting conversation. And even though I'm feeling bad or ugly or whatever, I'm going to be this impressed on myself to be good, a good person to listen to, to talk to, whatever. So, jazz, can I just ask you, what do you think you can see Cody's off your journey and the kinship Cody balls, by the way. It's not. You learn and you grow. So just the pitch in terms of with ways you pinch. What is your kinship code in this time that we are at today?

[00:11:17] That's a really tough question, to be honest. And there's a lot of so many different things that I would have in mind.

[00:11:26] It's just I don't think there's one particular thing that I could pinpoint, to be honest.

[00:11:31] That's like. Yes. Well, one would ask you another question. What's your what's your favourite tree? What what is a tree that only because I want to use a tree as a metaphor with how we as humans can grow. What's your favourite tree and why?

[00:11:48] The weeping willow tree. The reason I choose that particular train I've always loved it is because even though the name gives you, you know, mostly if you don't know what the weeping willow is, you know. And so I think, oh, maybe it's this really ugly, sad looking train. A corner resonates with me in the same way that people look at trauma or, you know, mental health and that kind of stuff, because it's not really that at all. It's just people who need a simple, nice, simple bit to nurturing and love and that kind of something. The weeping willow is such a gorgeous tree and it can still continues to grow and it still continues to offer beauty to everyone, just like people who have gone through trauma or mental health. So I think that's you know, I've always looked at it because it resonates with me.

[00:12:34] I'm going to do this magic that that is called. I love that I'm getting goose bumps. Now, there's the end because the weeping that, you know, when your kinship code, you've described the true metaphor of a tree and how you you as a person, but also how you treat other people. You don't judge people well, what they look like or where they've come from. And that comes from, I'll be honest, just from my amature prognosis as a kinship coach, that comes from a place of love. And the biggest love, the greatest love of all is love of yourself. Mm hmm. And I love the love you'll you'll metaphore of, you know, the tree like the mother. Just nature and nurture. Nurture. And that's what we did in our jobs. I remember being working with unemployed folks. And they come in, they sit there, you know, one of the most one of the most profound statements. And it came from my love for them because, my goodness, there was some pretty decent people. I actually when I heard someone standing in front with some sort of authority, because if I don't come to us, they don't get paid. Then I answered by don't I don't get to eight. So, yes, we have we come from a place of authority. There were also colleagues of mine. You may have used that authority for their own power base. But you and I, we were looking at giving it as a nurturing and nurturing place. And one of the most profound statements, like I said to people, that actually, I'll be honest, I brought tears to them and I flipped back my tears only because I wanted to sort of capture the moments with them as if I saw them. Where you are at the moment does not define you as a person listening as they heard that it was interesting to see that that the light came on someone. And then you spent 20 minutes, half an hour with this. But someone actually believes in someone actually notices them, someone he's this silence. Someone gives a shit about them, and that just raises the energy and just clean energy. I've got one last question to Jack, because I'm just getting goose bumps as we speak. That I ask you now that this weeping willow tree, I can just picture it in my head, in my vision. I'm saying like it's by a riverbed. It's my vision. Is your weeping willow tree.

[00:15:12] It's always by a creek bed. It's always because it's. It's coming. It's one of those things where you just everyone always pitches it by and drivetrain embossed notes for people. The same question is, where do you see a willow tree? And some people always the only people I've ever met who say it's by a swamp or something or people who I found are really, really sad or really hurt, but those who have who are happy and in a somewhat.

[00:15:35] And they're like, oh, I see it like a creek bed or refund because it's coming or they have something that's peaceful in their life.

[00:15:43] Well, it's interesting, all of this this is a bit of therapeutic yarn. And this is this is my kitchen upbringing with from my cultural background of First Nations Torres Strait man, you Guinean mother. So you can get to someone. So by sharing the spice, they ran into Mother Earth. When I asked you what your kinship cut, you found it difficult to articulate how you feeling, what you talk about a tree. You talk about Mother Earth, where we all come from, Mother Earth. You clearly define what your kinship Covid is clearly. So where a body is always spoken of the mind and someone's gathered some fly words, the muscle timba that start this huge knowest bonfire. Beautiful setting that brought it to you. Cheers. I brought some cheese and crackers and bought some sparkling water with the lawn because I don't want to give up alcohol for a month. So they're sitting there in the sun just setting and you can invite three people to join you. But living past on or someone you don't even know, but someone you wouldn't mind, spent the evening toasting some marshmallows over this lovely fire next to this willyou weeping willow tree by this river.

[00:17:01] Oh, my. A bit. And I've been to Playschool Holmesburg, my door to be equality. for six months. We went to the Finke River. The Finke River had this beautiful river. No water in it. But it's the oldest river in the world. In the world. It's the oldest river in the entire planet is the Finke River. And more weeping Willow. I was by their city. And this it was I had a fall. We went for an evening. Who were the three people? Not Mike. The two. Who were the two? Sorry, I didn't give a nice start and say that. Who were the two people you would invite to sit? Mike? No, sorry. Mike at three were the three people living past or someone from the world?

[00:17:50] I would bring my great. No. Who's passed on.

[00:17:55] She was very much a lady of the land. She loved gardening and that kind of stuff. She's a beautiful lady. My granddad was also passed. He was out. Bushman loved the land as well.

[00:18:10] And my dad. My dad.

[00:18:12] Wow. Wow. So you're Nona and your grandpa and your dad who's who's live living you. Get your. Yes, yes. Yes. What do you think? What would they what would the three put all them together? There's two things when I ask what are the qualities of them? Because you look up to these people, these special people. Yeah. One of the qualities that you just get from them that gets you because believe it or not jezzy your you you've inherited whatever they're giving because they're the three people you've picked in Utah. Well. Well what are some of the qualities I bring to your life that you now live at?

[00:18:52] Well, they they have so many different qualities and strengths is definitely one of them. They've all suffered greatly in many different ways, probably determination and unconditional love.

[00:19:14] Beautiful. Beautiful. Love it. Love it. Strength. Determination, whatever life deals you and you know, you're radiating through just whatever life deals with you. You just get out and you just keep being mobile and nimble and keep moving forward. That strength and that and that determination. That determination. So we live in a kinship way of thinking. Our ancestors, our ancestors. They are around us all the time, whether they're alive or they've passed on. They want the very best for you. And the best way we can honour them either alive or passed on is to live how they would want us to live. Definitely. And that strength now put them all together. What do you think? All three? Your dad is probably up there having his morning tea and your dad who passed on grandparents component. What would I cited in that you think is just where you are today?

[00:20:19] Dr. dieties died before in my twenty twenty two isolation. Then what would I say to you today, combined force?

[00:20:27] What would I say to you when I know my dad constantly tells me? That they're proud and I'm strong. But, you know, I know very much that I'm loved. And then I'm a good person.

[00:20:46] Perfect. Because I think your your dad is a spirit still with us. And your mum and your grandma and grandfather's spirit who have channelled through him to tell you those very things. They're very proud and they love you. And there's a kinship code. I'm encouraged to listen to my ancestors alive and passed differently. And may they speak to you, too. Jasmine and I know they do. Thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure chatting to you. Likewise. And I really do. I'm looking forward to working with you.

[00:21:22] Jasmine and I, we're both working on a foundation called the Venus Foundation in memory of Jodi Marie Johnson, victim of domestic violence. And Jasmine and her young years has jumped on big time. And it's just the images she brings and the lip gloss she brings at such a young age.

[00:21:43] I'm just going to have a pleasure working with you. Jasmine, Bogdana, thank you for taking time out of your Saturday night to have this chat. And I look forward to when the isolation. Well, I think it's relaxed today. Actually, we can. Yeah, we can catch up for a coffee. Anything any last words you want to say before you leave our listeners?

[00:22:04] I just I just hope everyone is able to find a spot or something that they can use to pour water. That's that's one thing that I find is just finding one thing in their life that they can use to start a foundation or something they can grab hold of. Take this. Where are you from?

[00:22:20] You're a champion and I see a career for you in self development. And I think I've mentioned that. And because we need more, we need more. Crusader's in this work because we have a world that tells us want you this COVID-19 has really shifted the shaking. Yeah, because we've just been dancing to a tune. A lot of people have sort of been stepping aside. Hang on. What's going on? I'm really looking you know, I'm in the pot quite probably one of my quite. So we spend a fortune on working out, but it's cheaper to work on the biggest pile of us. It's working in on the person spirit. Your mind body grabbing that and doing all those things.

[00:23:03] So, Jasmine Cruz, I wish my life was kind of Cruz and Jasmine. Thank you so much. And we'll catch up very soon. No problem. Thank you for having me.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hello. Hey, man. Here again, kinship code. Coming to you from downtown Brisbane, Queensland, Australia today, I'm talking about mindsets. The biggest thing to keep you strong, healthy and well, look forward to catching up very soon.

[00:00:30] Hello. Hope you're all keeping well and safe in these times of uncertainty, in these times of fear. In these times of. Yeah. It's just it just got real, hasn't it? Life has just got real.

[00:00:46] And we're finding ourselves in a well being forced into a different and certainly a changing world. Certainly how luff as we knew it, as we know it, not just for ourselves, but even for al our ancestors, all our people that went before us, except for the people who were probably around in pandemics a hundred years ago. And and certainly from my research, I've found out that we've actually had pandemics every hundred years to the last pandemic was in nineteen eight 1920. The previous pandemic to that was in 1820. And even previous to that was 17 20. So pandemics seem to have this cycle of every hundred years. It's interesting, but I've had a very good reference point. My reference point is Google and I think we all venture on Google. And I found that this comes, like I said, every hundred years. But certainly it sort of changes the way we think. We're growing up in a world and even our kids now. And it's interesting to see our young people now held, they will respond.

[00:02:09] In the next 20, 30 years, living with this pandemic.

[00:02:17] And it's interesting and you know, and the catch phrase they use, we're all in it together. Well, we all are. You cannot. You can't hide. You can't hide. You can try and hide.

[00:02:33] But certainly, I think in terms of the way how the world ticks, especially in 2020, the year 2020. Yeah, unfortunately any pandemics has a global reach and it can set up a whole range of indicators for people. When I say indicators.

[00:02:57] It's about how people respond. How do you respond to this threat? Keeping in mind the very basics. Of safety, of health promotion, safety promotion. Of acceptance. Even your own prejudices.

[00:03:20] On our notice in the media recently, you know, and I like to call it, they're talking about a witch hunt. And you know where this thing come from. Did it come out of, you know, what part of the world? I'm not even going to mention that because it's not my place. What I'm saying is that what we've been given now, it's interesting, it's a great scenario in terms of what I need to speak to people today about. On this episode, the mindset.

[00:03:50] It's about how do you create a mindset? Given the hurdles, given the barriers, given what's been served in front of you. Do you look at why it's here? Do we move through it or B?

[00:04:09] Do I look back and say, all right, who caused this mess? I got I've gotta find someone to blame. Someone has to take responsibility. Someone has to take responsibility for me.

[00:04:22] Someone has to take responsibility for putting this in the first place. All you can do. Another alternate way of thinking is how do I respond in the best way I can to survive? How can I respond to the best way to survive and see this thing through?

[00:04:47] I think I've spoken before about my background, all I have my parents to the deceased now that it's been passed, I've been passed away now for nearly 20 odd years now. My mother and father. They live in this country when they weren't even allowed to to leave from one end of the village. On Thursday Island to the other side of the island, with that written permission, they were subject to so much.

[00:05:19] What's the word? Oppression. But they did not hang around to blame. Get angry. Whatever it was. They just applied themselves to face what was in front of them and get through it.

[00:05:38] And I am just so blessed. I'm not pie knowledge to my mum and dad forgiving me.

[00:05:45] They did. I've been not giving me. I've inherited it. They haven't given it to me. There's a difference between giving an inherit. When you give someone something like. The person doesn't earn it, you give it, you give it away. There it is. You can have it. I've done all the work. You get it. But when you inherit something, you inherit. And I'm speaking about the human capacity. The human capacity of inheriting the virtues, the virtues, the beautiful virtues that can actually contribute to your life and those virtues I've gained from my parents is a mindset of taking the forward step and not stepping back and blaming.

[00:06:34] Now, my parents taught me that I whatever's in front of you move forward. And they didn't sit in front of me with a whiteboard or a blackboard and say, Well, Cayman. When you come up with obstacles, you've got to look back and you've got to I got what? How do I get out of it? Don't look back and say. And blind people don't look back and say, okay, well, who caused it? Where do I go now? I said, look forward. Look forward and create your own solutions. Now, that didn't sit down and do that in front of a lecture taught situation in front of a teaching type situation. They did that through their own walk and talk and practise. As a young child, we learn these behaviours. We learn these behaviours to then become who we are in our trajectory of our life. And sure, my mother grew up institutionalized. She feared governments, she feared authority. She feed. Just feel it being walking down the street. I remember my brother and I walking with her down the street and because we were indigenous peoples, we weren't allowed to certain parts of the town. And like sheep, she didn't know where we could walk, we couldn't walk, and she'd say to my brother, Anoma, all the brother George, she say, I look down, look down, done, look up, look down. She said to us, try to be invisible. Try to be invisible.

[00:08:16] So we did that. But even that we did that, I saw the fear in my mother's eyes. But what I learned out of that was that it didn't stop her contributing and going forward. Interesting concept. Interesting concept. She could have easily stopped and gone and law in the room and cried herself to sleep.

[00:08:41] And we would watch their mother crying and saying, oh, you know, what can we do?

[00:08:45] Pull back on me. She didn't. She was at bay. She had courage and will not talk about courage. Courage. You can't have courage without fear. She had fear, but she was still my ball.

[00:09:00] She was still my ball. She was moving. You take Phil with you, and that's and looking back now in my life, I have inherited. That beautiful, beautiful human virtue that I grew up with from my parents. I am so grateful for that way of thinking of that creation of a mindset. And interesting now in this pandemic situation where we are.

[00:09:36] The parents and their children now who being homeschooled in my and my sincere thoughts, I'll tell you what, my kids are grown up adults and I don't have to homeschool. And I've heard homeschooling. It's a drag. And I'm using a plot where I've been. It's been called something else. But I won't use those words here. But. Your it's actually had the parents, the adults, the significant role models of our young people now.

[00:10:03] How do you respond? What is your mindset? What is your mindset now? And whether you've got kids or your kids have grown up or you haven't got kids? The bottom line is, what is your mindset at?

[00:10:18] Do you wake up because when you wake up, the defining moment for yourself is, is probably that first two or three minutes. You're either gonna have a joyful day. You're either going to have a sad day. You are going to have a magic day. Or you can have an amazing day. You get the kinship car. That's if you're getting my drift. That's what this whole thing's about. You create your mindset.

[00:10:54] The whatever so you can all look at. Three people look out the window and they see one tree and there's three birds in it.

[00:11:05] One person, one of the three person looks at, sees a tree, the three birds and says, oh, okay, okay, I've gotta to pay my rent. Oh, God, I got it. You know, good to see with my piease gone in.

[00:11:18] So even though they're visibly saying that trade hit the mindset he's already caught up in, I call it the what about people call it the white noise. I love what life is like. And that's normal. That is normal.

[00:11:32] The second person looks out the window, sees the tree and the three birds and guys are not help my Cosmo pop them, but their dogs, birds, my poo on it.

[00:11:44] The third person looks out and says, what a wonderful world, what a beautiful world.

[12:00] The mindset, how you view the world. I don't know about you, but, you know, we come in with nothing. We go out with nuffink, what we do in between. It's up to you. Now in a kinship kind of thinking. You can create.

[00:12:21] A whole lifestyle. That suits where you want to be. And one of the other subjects I'll talk in the next in the next couple upcoming podcast, is that the freedom? Freedom. I like to think while I'm sorry, I'll rephrase that I apply in my life. Freedom is a state of mind. Is a state of mind. Freedom is a state of mind. So you can be picked up, dropped off.

[00:13:05] And it's a bet. What your state of mind is. I my, my. I want to talk about my late wife, Judy.

[00:13:14] She she had a she had a mental health condition. And interesting.

[00:13:20] It was interesting living with her because that she was the person who looked at with those three birds and with those three birds on that train saying, woops, they're going to poo on my car.

[00:13:34] I'm the person who would look at and say, oh, what a wonderful world. I'm conflicted.

[00:13:42] Just on that. Oh, my, oh, my light wife, I love her daily. I miss her every day, and that's that's God's truth. I've known her, we've been I've known her for 36 years. I'm 55, so I've known her for 36 years, married to her for 25 years. I buried her. I miss her every day. And with my parents, my mother and father, I acknowledge her as my other great teacher. My other great teacher and he was interesting because I at that time and looking reflection, looking back, I could see how mindsets.

[00:14:22] How that creates happiness, sadness, joy. So with this pandemic situation, it's about how what monster you apply, what lens are you putting on?

[00:14:39] And look, I said my parents, they were like my parents were amazing people, I've got to say that. Because there's a story I want to share with you. I, um, I used to work in a town called Mount Isao, which is in north Queensland. My youngest daughter Bianca Christy was born there in 1998 and he was about about 1998 when I was flying up to a place called Mornington are now a place called Doomadgee. It's an Aboriginal community up in the Cape, the Gulf of Carpentaria in Queensland, Australia. For all the people outside of Australia or even in Australia, probably haven't heard of Doomadgee. Doomadgee is quite a significant place for me. Doomadgee is where I learned my craft as a community development practitioner, but also worked on my my human spirit to help other people in their development of the human spirit.

[00:15:37] But back to my story, I was flying we were flying at 12000 feet because always to fly in these twin prop prop planes. That's a hard thing to say. Twin prop planes and aerial flying.

[00:15:53] My colleague was she. Her name was Vivian. She was. She fell asleep. She someone had a slip, I thought. Oh, look. Vivian, have a sleep. And we were up and I saw the best part of what I did, I always looked at the console, part out of fear, part out of curiosity. Flying in these little, little planes. And I saw that we had 12000 feet. Excuse me. And I looked at that and I thought, look, I went 12000 feet and you wouldn't believe it. The. Both propellers started to splutter.

[00:16:29] At 12000 feet, they just went. And they were slowly stopping at 12000 feet. My colleague Vivian was still asleep. Myself, and there was only about eight or 10 of us on the plane. And myself and some others and I heard there's a young lady behind me while I was young. So a young person like me, we're on the plane. And she started I could see her starting to get upset. I could see her start to stop crying because even though and this is this is this is the truth, even though it was a matter of seconds. Your life that, you know, they say your life flashes before you. It is so true. Your family, everybody just flashes before you. And then the fear. The gut-wrenching fear, because we then started to glide. The motors were actually stopped and we started to glide. And it was only a matter of seconds. Seconds. And as we have sliding down. The fear turned I I look back, am I? I'm actually quite proud of myself. 12000 th8 powerless. Going to crash, Vivien's still asleep. I didn't have the heart to Heiko, I didn't. The plane was going down. And then I said to myself, Right. You are going to survive on care. And this is God's truth. This is the first time, to be honest, I'm sharing this emotional flight as we were going down. My mindset kicked in and says, I don't care what it takes. You are going to survive. And it could be adrenaline. And because of my belief system, my faith, it was probably my God, but I had the fight in me. I wasn't gonna just die in that plane. I was gonna do everything in me to survive. And then the pilot panicked. And this is only I'm telling this story now, I'm sort of. It's probably this story's gone longer than the actual episode of when it actually happened. But the pilot panicked and he is looking out for and that made it worse. But I was resolute. I'm going to survive. Whatever it takes.

[00:19:11] And then he found a button, he pressed it, and then the motors gently mine that the plane relaunched, best of back up.

[00:19:21] There was a combined saw IO.

[00:19:26] And the biggest saw come from the pilot. That was funny. He was more scared than all of us because I believe that pilot on that day. He had our lives in his hand. But he found the button. There was an ale. There was an air bubble in the fuel line. He found the reserve tank while he worked at whatever it was. Matter of seconds. But from that, I can just thank my parents. Forgiving me because I know if they ever come up with that situation again, it will intellectually pale in comparison to other situations because I and I I've got what it takes to survive and the majority of you people listening. I reckon you've got to. In fact, we've all got it. It's about developing your kinship code, your innate spirit, your human spirit. To be brave and faithful. Because when are brave and faithful, nothing is impossible. So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, grandpas and grandmothers all around the world listening in. In conclusion, all I have to say is never, ever, ever give up. And whatever you're feeling, if you're feeling down, if you're depressed, all that clinical depression. Cannot tell you. Hang on, hang on.

[00:21:02] The sun will come up, brought out one day. The birds will sing. Three birds in that tree. Three little birds on my doorstep. Bob Marley says, big loss. Every little thing's gonna be all right. Stay safe. Love your work, people. Catch you next time. Kai, man out. Peace.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hello, Kman here again for Kinship Code. Today we are going to be talking about the Mona Lisa, the Mona Lisa, that is you. The work of art. That is priceless. You stay tuned. Time--and coming you from Kinship Card Australia, downtown Brisbane, I'm actually in Fortitude Valley with my main dude. He's riding shotgun with me, Zane C Weber. Check him out on LinkedIn. He's the man you need for podcasting. He's the dude.

Today's episode of Kinship Code is based on priceless works of art. Priceless works of art. We spend fortunes travelling around the world or even your own country travelling to museums to line up. And nowadays when we got back to lining up at museums, we'll have to do it. The social distancing why 1.5 metres away from each other to line up, to pay out good money, to go in and look at these marvellous works of art masterpieces that takes your breath away. You go in and you just go, wow, look at that.

[00:01:36] That creativity, the genius, the beauty. The essence of creativity, the miracle. Of creativity. The miracle of art, of perfection. Of beauty.

[00:01:55] All these wonderful positive words that we just rise up our own spirits when we speak and think and apply these words to these work of art, which is outside of our zine.

[00:02:11] Kinship code. Kai Man is here to tell you. There is a greater prise.

[00:02:20] Then the artwork that you are paying and spending the energy on to go and view, you guessed that. You guessed it. If you've been listening to my previous podcasts.

[00:02:33] You will know that I'm talking about the work of art. That you get up in the morning, you. Yes, you, the listener. You get up and you go. And the first thing you look into a mirror.

[00:02:52] That should take your breath away and say, my goodness. What a work of art. Rejoice.

[00:03:04] In the Seumas spirit, that is you.

[00:03:09] You are priceless. And developing that sense of self pride. Comes from your inner self. Now, the kinship card people of Oxley. Kai, man, have you written this kinship code?

[00:03:30] Have you climbed some scary bilong hilltop mountain to find this kinship code scriptures hidden in a cave under a boulder? Were these kinship cards? Did you go diving off the deep Indian Ocean looking for these kinship cards written in ancient cylinders and stored away?

[00:03:57] The kinship code that I'm talking about is a card that everybody has. They can't ship code. Is you. It is about the best version of you.

[00:04:17] How you conduct yourself as a human being while you walk this planet Earth and you've got a pulse, you've got a heartbeat.

[00:04:29] You've got humour, you've got sadness, you've got joy, you've got disappointment. All these human factors comes back to how you treat yourself in the kinship way of thinking.

[00:04:49] There are now referees. There are now linesmen. There is no time KBR. It's just you. You keep my entine. Your own kinship. Code of the best version you can be.

[00:05:12] Because it's when you're in that translucent state of that zone, if you like, of the kinship kind, it becomes part of your everyday life. And I spoke about this before.

[00:05:28] It's about developing discipline. Discipline to really appreciate and love who you are.

[00:05:38] A discipline to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and say, I am worthy.

[00:05:46] And when you do that, when you get up in front of that mirror, you don't just stand there and say, I am worthy and look in the mirror and say whatever you look in that mirror, you stare down deep, deep into the eyes, looking back.

[00:06:01] And that's you. And guess what? You can't hide. You can't lie. You can't blame anyone else. It's just you. So when you look into your eyes.

[00:06:15] And you say I am. Were the.

[00:06:21] That takes a sense of discipline.

[00:06:25] Now I'm sharing these stories and someone said to me, you know, did you find these cuds?

[00:06:30] I've just. I'm actually talking about my life, how I've developed into the person I'm at. People now I'm 55. Osborne on the 14th of December, 1964.

[00:06:47] Just make a note of that. It's my birthday, the 14th of December. We all appreciate presents, chocolates. Be good. But that's at 55 years of age. I've not hit a point and I haven't I haven't got to the point. I haven't got to my end of my journey. I haven't got to my destination. I'm really excited about the mountain that I'm climbing. Every day is a different struggle. Every day is a different journey. But it takes discipline to keep your leg and your feet one foot in front of the other. Climb the mountain until it becomes a habit. So the discipline will translate into a habit. And then it becomes routine. And then it becomes a lifestyle. And then when you walk past the mirror like me, I will pass the mirror. And I stopped to admire it. Wow, look at me, huh? Amazing. I was going to say the F word then. I know that children could be listening. Ionising on my chest. Good.

[00:08:04] And people on my Facebook page right now, I took a lot of selfies because I like what I see. And I've not. And let me just tell you, I haven't always been like that. It isn't something that comes easily. If it was easy, everybody be doing it. It took a sense of discipline, but as one, I put myself up-tick himself previously like two years ago even I've taken selfies. But they were like, OK. This is the process. Selfie put on the Facebook. Yep. Yep. Like like like I put art. Now I take a selfie because I really appreciate what I see. It's like I'm I'm looking at the Mona Lisa. The most photographed, the most viewed artwork in the world is the Mona Lisa. I treat every day when I look in the mirror, when I walk past the reflection on the glass pine, there's my Mona Lisa. It's a priceless piece of art and I give gratitude. That's another thing we got to do. We got to give gratitude.

[00:09:16] Where we're at. The gratitude, because I am so grateful and I was just talking to a colleague this morning.

[00:09:27] I had a bad year last year. In November, I hit the wall. I had to have well, the whole month of November, 2019, I was gone. I had nothing. Nothing. Empty tank had my business running all around the countryside, running out of money. My money. Spending more money.

[00:09:49] Afraid of being homeless.

[00:09:53] But the discipline of self-belief that comes from self worth self-love, self-respect.

[00:10:04] That all combines to the most powerful being in the world.

[00:10:11] So all the magnificent the magnificent beauty that is priceless works of art. You're right. It takes discipline to develop that kinship card, your kinship code.

[00:10:28] Kit, my message is we internally give away our power by externally giving it to other people, to brand us, to define us. We say world, define who I am and I'll jump to the tune of what you're telling me. Whereas if you say, Hey, world, this is me, this is why. This is how I am and this is how I walk and this is how I talk. The world would accept you on your terms. Don Look for the world to accept you on their terms because it ain't gonna happen.

[00:11:09] Your sense of joy and fulfilment will be out the window. So developing this discipline. To become habit.

[00:11:20] To become routine, to become lifestyle, I can honestly say I now live a lifestyle which in short, don't get me wrong, I'm not 100 percent always up. And Adam. As a human being all go through emotions, the emotions of feeling, you know, just not up with it, feeling down, feeling sad. But dies. But my parts of my mindset now is at a point where the light at shines the darkness. Darkness was always bay. They always tell people there are two angels sitting on your shoulders. Ones like Darth Vader from Star Wars sitting on one shoulder. The other one is like Florence NIGHTINGALE sitting on the other. But they you. And one one of them will tell you something bad about yourself and the other one will tell you something positive about yourself.

[00:12:26] And they share about equal Gramsci, you're sort of caught in this limbo. Whereas if you take it upon yourself to develop this discipline. That becomes habit, that becomes routine, that becomes lifestyle, that 50 50 percent ratio. Which they share. The dark side of you and the light side of you. Your dark side will actually shrink and your light side will improve to a higher percentage of your being, of your mindset, of the lens that you view the world.

[00:13:01] There'll be more light and darkness. Doctors will come in, but it won't take long before the light comes in and boom.

[00:13:10] You back up in. So in closing this podcast. I just want to say, you really need to appreciate the beauty of art. Which is you.

[00:13:26] STYE Sife K-P Strong warg Strong and we'll catch up next time. Kai Man out peace.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hello. Greetings, time--and. Here again, kinship code, kinship wise. This time I'll be talking about resilience. How do we build something called resilience? How do you bounce back and you become tough? You can do it. Yes, you can.

[00:00:27] Resilience, I love the word resilience. And to be honest with you, growing up as a as a Torres Strait Islander man, we there was we hadn't got a word for resilience in our language. And I'm pretty sure if I talk to all people in my culture, resilience in the word resilience is something that you just did. Resilience is that, you know, you just keep going. And I think I'm being very fortunate that my parents, especially my mother, who I grew up with, who had a lot of influence on me. She taught me three things. One of them was forgiveness. The second thing was love. The third thing was faith. And sprinkled amongst all three of those key elements and virtues is resilience, resilience to bounce back. Now, in terms of love, for instance, you know, I've had my heart broken and now, you know, I don't think I speak for the majority of us. We've all have our hearts broken. Whether it's a romantic link, whether, you know, whether your pet canary's fallen off his perch, whether a cake is baked for your grandmother's ideas, birthday didn't work out. You feel a sense of loss and you deflate it and you're down. You're out, but you need that resilience to pick yourself up. And I suppose the word resilience used in this context of the modern world is picking yourself up when you've been in a position of powerlessness, of darkness, of hopelessness. Resilience is the opposite of all those things. Resilience. And my parents and especially my mum, my dad as well, they had a lot to go through in terms of their growing up, because as indigenous people, the authorities had a lot of power and influence along with other indigenous peoples of not just Australia, but the world.

[00:02:49] But there was a sense of resilience of getting up every day with a sense of purpose, with the sense of doing. And even though you, Martin, feel like getting up and doing in your heart of hearts, you draw the line, you just keep lying away, ever. You're lying wherever you hit. You know, you like your head to rest that night. But having resilience to say, all right, this has to be done to move forward, because having resilience says that you've had to have had a feeling or an emotion that has cornered you and everybody in the whole world. If you've got a pulse and you're listening to this podcast, there's been a situation where we've had a sense of loss, disappointment, sadness, and that's a fact of life when you signed up for this gig. We know as life in the human race on this place called Mother Earth, sadness, loss, disappointment is part of the journey description. You will suffer those things. But also resilience is also part of the duty statement. The only thing about the duty statement and the resilience connection is it's in the small print. We can read all the negative stuff that's that's in the big print. That's in the bold print. Oh, yes. I'm not good enough. Yes. And I'm going to be this soon. I'm not not that I'm not worthy, but it doesn't that all the positive stuff's, all the positive words, all the positive feelings are in the small print because we live in a world where we lose the true sense of ourselves. We we keep on talking about this. We give away our power to other people, too, determined to define us. They tell us whether we're beautiful. They tell us where we're worthy.

[00:04:45] They tell us that we're valuable. We rely on them. We done work in enough to rely on ourselves, because once you develop that internal fortitude of love, of kindness and I spoke about this in my last podcast, all those virtues of I call it kinship code, the codes that matter to you because we have an external world, albeit now in COVID-19 has slowed down. Well, it hasn't actually slowed. They have someone slammed on the foot brake and it's made us realise what's really important. Because we were all on this treadmill going as fast as we can. We were losing ourselves. I don't know about you, but being in lockdown, being shut down, whatever term you want to use. There's been a sense of an awakening. Awakening of what is real, what is real to me? Who is who? Who am I? And that awakening can assist you in becoming a better person. A better person. I'm not talking a better person to the externalise. I'm saying to your eyes. It's about building a better love and respect for yourself. And resilience comes is a by-product of these things. Now, resilience is also about setting a mindset of flipping, of flipping a situation. And as I spike before my previous podcasts working in you workout. And I subscribe to that. You work at. You eat well. You sleep well. But let's not forget to work in the discipline, habit, routine lifestyle. You create a discipline for your mindset. You give your mindset some rules. You give you a mindset, mindset, some parameters. You give your mindset, terms and conditions to say, hi, guess what? I'm going to hit the wall. I'm going to hit the barrier. I'm going to hit into some obstacle. But you know what? I'm gonna have the faith, the bravery and the courage to get it done.

[00:07:07] What I need to do is have one of my favourite sayings, and this is actually stuck on my bedroom window, my bedroom wall. It says to the brave and faithful, nothing is impossible. To the brave and faithful, nothing is impossible now. Resilience is the springboard is the springboard to tapping into your strengths, your strengths and your mindset. I hope I'm not going too fast for people because I get excited about these concepts, because the only reason I'm sharing these things, because all I'm doing is talking about my journey in my life and how I have gone from a non-English speaking dude who was fearful of the of of of non-indigenous white people. I was told as a for as long as I remember, my mother used to say, do not look at the white man in the eye. They are more superior than you. I love my mum. She told me, feel them when you see them. Fear and anxiety. And now in my current life, at the age of 55, I now talk to the premier of Queensland and I talk to the deputy premier. I now talk to business. I now talk to Silicon Valley. I talk up to Start-Up and tech general managers. I talk to all other tech companies in the world. I'm creating a business for myself. And that's coming from a mindset which said to me that you're not good enough. You are second-rate, you're subservient. And now all these things that I started believing, but also there were people around me, my families in my community who basically supported that concept because they were walking the same walk I was doing. But then I met some significant people in my life who I thought, okay, I can do this.

[00:09:06] I can be I can jump out of the cookie cutter shape that I'm in now. My trajectory of life that took discipline, that took discipline, discipline to a point where my mice, my footsteps became stronger, my voice became firmer and assertive. And that discipline became habit. And that habit of the time continually practicing, continually practicing, continually practicing that habit became routine. And now it's lifestyle. I have people say to me, how did you do? How did you talk to someone in Silicon Valley? Well, in this day and age, we got things like, you know, the Internet. You can communicate. And they said to me, well, what? But what gave you the authority? And I just said to people, well, I was talking to my my good buddy yesterday. I was talking about this very thing about Silicon Valley. And I just said hi. Because, you know, why shouldn't I? I just created my own. If there's such a word I just had. While there is a word, I'm just trying to find the right context for it. But I actually developed an audacity and audacious. That could be the word. An audacious attitude, an audacious discipline, an audacious habit, an audacious routine. And now my lifestyle, I practise or die audacious tacitly, if that's such a word. But I just I'm just have the audacity to do things in business, in my business world. I'm known as a disruptor because I have the audacity to change the rules. There are rules there. But if I want to talk about kindness and I did in my last podcast, I've got to change the rules in what I do and what other people do. So it all goes back to kinship wise and kinship codes. There's a code which the secret is you hold a card, you hold the keys.

[00:11:12] It's the selflessness parts of your inner soul. You're in a spirit that you how you contribute to the world. And that's the power that you have. And part of that is resilience. You know, don't get me wrong, I hope this is all coming together for people, because don't get me wrong, because, you know, when when someone says something to me, I feel the pain of being judged. Oh, don't worry. It hurts. The arised launched Bangert. It's you saw. I hope someone someone's of is critical of you. You know, like I've done a presentation and that's it all. You know, that was good. But you know this. You should have said that. And like and usually what I would do, I would let that arise stick in my sides of my gizzards and that era would be there for years. Now, I've learned through discipline, through habit, through routine, that's now my lifestyle. I'll let the era go in the Maza. I acknowledge that Woon is at my car. Yeah, but you said that, right? What does it really mean? I unpack it. And then you know what? I pulled that little sucker out of my sides. Yep. You've served your purpose. I guess what? I'm going to keep going forward. I'm going to be resilient. We. That is part of how we give our power away when we left that era. The pains of the era is that a shot of us. We walk around with all these sharp things stuck in a back and a front in our side. It doesn't matter because we allowing other people to do them. But when you and I said no, I'm not, that I'll just pull this thing up. It hurt when it pays my skin. Yep.

[00:12:52] Yep. Hurt my feelings. Yep. It hurt. But guess what? I'm not that. I'm not dumb. I'm not unworthy. Come at you out. And guess what? It takes a while, but the wound will heal as opposed to a wound being continually in your side. So resilience is about learning to be resolute. And it comes back to that four letter word, which is at the core of kinship code and the kinship way of living. And it's love. It's love for yourself. It's kindness, kindness for yourself. And also, we can talk about fear. But in terms of where we're going. Fear is a good thing because from fear, we learn, we grow and we become stronger. Because my favourite saying as you now is to the brave and faithful, nothing is impossible. So in terms of resilience and, you know, I've had I've had severe depression twice in my life. Severe depression. I've had some dark, dark, dark moments. I've been in that dark place. But, you know, there's a little spot of light. There's a peck on the horizon. And that darkness, because I've invested in my years. I didn't even know it. I invested in my years, something called discipline, where there's this shiny light in on the horizon, a little speck even that's a little speck. There's a little shining light. And I focus on that because I know that I will get better. I will get better. And you never, ever, ever give up. Never, ever give up. You might feel like giving up, but if you develop a mindset, a discipline and that were you still carry the darkness and the sadness and the disappointment with you. But in your mindset, you know, you recognise this and you'll get better as you work through it, as you work through it.

[00:14:59] Because to the brave and faithful, nothing is impossible. And we talk about and it's about having courage. And courage is an interesting word with it without fear. You cannot have courage. Fear needs to be gripping you to have courage. If you if you're not fearful and you're sitting at home and you're comfortable, that doesn't call on courage. That doesn't call. Harge. But if you're sitting and there's this man eating animal in a two meters away from you, fear grips you. But courage is doing something about it. But guess what? The fees still with your adrenaline will kick in. But the fear is still there. Courage does not take away fear. Courage, Mike, suggests, look fear in the eye and say, I'm here and I'm going to have a guy and I'm going to be resilient and I'm going to get out of this where I've been. But it takes habbit from discipline. Then it becomes your routine and it becomes your lifestyle. And that's how you view the world. I want to close on this. This is something on my bedroom window. Bedroom, not wind on the wall. I should put on the window of my bedroom wall to the brave and faithful. Nothing is impossible until next time came in out.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Hello. Greetings. Welcome to another kinship code, kinship wise. It's high man here. I'm going to be talking about kindness. It's an act of kindness. It's an act of random act. Well, it's not. It should be act every day. Stay tuned.

[00:00:27] Hello, welcome, my guy and Chi man coming to you from downtown Brisbane in the midst of lockdown, the whole world is under lockdown. COVID-19 has sort of breath, breathes and breaths all over ourselves. And I hope your keeping safe with this message that's going out to you.

[00:00:48] And today I'm actually going to talk about that word kindness, because I've noticed in in a whole range of mediums, whether it be social media, whether it's the media and on the TV, they're all highlighting all how lovely and kind people are. How lovely. What a kind spirit. The things people are doing for someone else less fortunate or just sharing. It's a sad state of affairs that it's taking a pandemic to tell humanity, to tell the human rights, high kindness. It's a good thing. It's something we can actually cherish. Kindness is an act of giving and giving without expecting anything in return. That's true kindness, as my intro mentioned. They talk about kindness being a random act. Yeah, a random act. Because we have lost the sense of giving, of sharing, of looking out for someone who may be in trouble or someone who just might need a hand or someone who might look lonely in the street lost. We just walk past them. Kindness determines that we will stop and say, Are you okay? Just checking up on them. And that's where we get off. That's a random act. Isn't it sad? It's a random act. Kindness is something that should be in the very core of our psyche. Kindness is something that I work really hard on every single day of my life. And like anything, it takes a sense of discipline to work on kindness. My podcast today is talking about the principle of kinship codes or the kinship y and the kinship code of conducting yourself in the best possible way you can. One to look after yourself and for two, to look after those around you. Kinship code. It's a code, kinship wise. It becomes a way of life. But to get to this kinship code, it takes a bit of development. It takes a bit of an awakening. It's about a waking wakening up to who you really are. And I've said this in my previous podcasts that we have lost the true sense of who we are because we give away our power to somebody else, because they determine they define you. They give you all your definition of who you are, what you do, and how the world sees you. Hope that makes sense. We give away our power because we are led to believe the world looking in determines and defines us. Then we lose our true self, our true self of who we really are. And unfortunately, that is where we get lost in the mindset of I am not good enough or part of this kindness podcast. I'm going to introduce it by talking about the most important vital priority person in the whole world who should receive this kindness. And for those of you who are switched on, and that's probably all my listeners because you all listening to me. So you must be switched on. That person is you. Kindness starts with one self. You cannot be kind to others if you are not kind to yourself. One of the most difficult things as a human being is being kind to yourself. I'm speaking from my experience because you might find this hard to believe, but I'm a human. So I'm walking the same walk you're walking. I'm not the perfect or the best rider at this rodeo. At my RIDEA, I am just trying my best to be the best rider at my rodeo, at my own gig, at my own life and trying to be the best person I can be. I want to be a kind of person, cause I don't want kindness to be a random act where it just pops up in randomly. I don't. I find that quite disturbing. The term random act of kindness, how sad and tragic that is. Kindness should be routine. Kindness should be a lifestyle. You don't need to mention all. There's a random act of kindness. Someone help me. Wow, that blows me away. Sorry to get to a point in the kinship code to develop kinship wise. For me, it's about four things. The first one is discipline I need in my own time. I need to sit there and work in. I work out. I do my stretching exercise of the yoga. I do a bit of other plotters work, but I also invest the same time of working in and these four points. I actually determines how I develop my kinship wise and kindness being one of them. And I need to talk about this a bit further just very quickly. There is not a set code where there's a journal some way hidden up in the mountains. There's a bit of cloud cover, something out of the Lord of the Rings. Kinship wise kinship code is something that you have yourself. It is your own obligation. It's about knowing your rights and your wrongs. There's no umpire. There's no referee. It is about self judgement. You're judging yourself. So the kinship wise, the kinship codes is about your own journey. I go back to kindness that develop a kindness y would I want to develop. That's what I want to do. What you want to do, it might be something else that's doing the right thing by people and yourself. But kindness for me. I had to be kind to myself. I had to remove the negative talk and the unkind talk. I would tell myself, because the last two sessions of my podcast, I talked about how the two of the most important words in the whole world is I am and always to punish myself. When I used to get stressed, when I used to do something that wasn't up to scratch, I still say, Oh, I am a negative. I am not good. I am a negative. I am in the negative. Am deficit. I am deficit. I am deficit. And I became that side of the discipline for me was to be kind to myself. Kindness. So when I didn't come up to speed off, I fell out into the right thing. If I got anxious and I got in front of a group of people and I lost the plot and I started blubbering. I used to go off stage and go, Oh geez, I am useless. I'm no good now. I go off the stage and sing like that's like something's up that doesn't define you. You're good, you're good. Tomorrow is another day. But I took discipline to get that mindset into my psyche. So that discipline you have decided self will make. The minute you walk away, the day the second you wake up for the day, you set your discipline. Kindness as one of them. And that discipline. And then after a wall, I found that discipline of what I was doing with my mindset. It became a habit. Always doing it as a habitual way of living. So I used to wake up again like, hey, I've got to go look for kindness and I'll do all this. But in my journey, I'll just look at if someone's struggling offer a hand, which I do. And that was a habit. And then it became a habit. But then I realised it become a routine. I just did it. And now I am really glad to say it is now part of my lifestyle. Kindness. But I've had to work on it. And it's like anything. You have to work on it. You have to invest time into it and you have to have discipline to get there. And I've developed this lifestyle of kindness. And then we can give other people. I'm going to share you a little story in Sydney. I was living down there with my wife, my law. My wife passed away in 2006. But at the time, this was about two thousand and six. We were in Sydney and I had a little bit of pocket money, lunch money left over for the week and had a good week and I thought, I'm on again. Bond My wife Judy was her name and I dedicate a lot of this work I do to her because of every zillions, which, by the way, is my next podcast. So Judy, with Judy in my mind, I ventured from my office in downtown Sydney down to buy some flowers. I walked down and I see it. Sydney. It's Friday afternoon and this is before Covid, obviously. So Sydney, as you know, it's all if you don't know, Sydney is one big city. Traffic people, noise pollution, smog bumping people. And it's just an energy.

[00:10:17] And I love it. I really love that sort of vibe. I was walking down to the mall to get this flowers and I saw this homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk and had a sign up. And he was sitting there and I thought, oh, oh. And I thought, right. I went and got like, I think I've got 12 dollars in my pocket to buy Judy these flowers. And I thought, if I have any change on the way back, I'm gonna give my change to this guy because he looks hungry. He was homeless. He looked hungry. So as I walked past, I saw a sign. Sign. Could you please give him the last meal ahead was on last weekend and then I can.

[00:10:55] So I go and buy these flowers, which was about another 300 meters away from where he was sitting. And then I proceeded to come back to go past him, to go and catch my train. But as I was walking back, I saw there was some movement. I saw him try to get up from where he was sitting. He was sitting on the on the pavement, on the cold pavement. He must've been sitting on a cardboard box. I'm not too sure. And as he was getting up, his leg must have gone to sleep on him. Pins and needles. And he hopped up and then he couldn't move any further. He was like in pain from this from his leg being asleep. And then at the same time, I noticed there was this girl in a car because of the traffic was no one was moving in the traffic of Sydney.

[00:11:45] The car was waiting for a while. The girl had the window down and she had a handful of coins. And she must have reached into her console, put these all her change, and she was gonna give it to this guy. But the guy was struggling to get up. And then as I'm walking and I saw this play out in front of me, I thought all now what's up? A pair paste up my walk to go and help. And then I see her and she's now looking at the light. Lots of now gone green. So she panicked and she just see all might. And as she walked through hell at night, we both looked at her and she threw all these coins at this guy, these coins or dollar coins, $2 coins, 50 cent coins. They went every way. And you know what? They might have been at least 50 people going past that man. Not one of them stopped to help him. Not one person. So I jumped Kai on the job. I walk up to the glass. I might get out. I'll help you. So we're both down there trying to pick up these coins for him. We're both picking up these coins. Then the girl yells at might and the card. We think, well, she hasn't gone yet because the traffic was that banked up. But she was moving slowly. She said, mate, a second time. And then she reaches out and she pulls out a $20 note. She turns it is a $20 night. She puts it through the windscreen on a twin screen, saw the window and she said, here and oh, my, he did worry about the coins. He headed straight to the $20 a night and she gave it to him. And you know what? That that angel, that earth angel just drive away. Now, I want to thank. Now I want to thank. Now I want to thank it all. It was just a matter of here, take it. This is kindness at its best. And as you drive away, I looked at the guy and I said to the guy, I said to this young man, I said to him. Isn't that just the coolest thing you've ever seen? And he looked at me. He said, I know. And we just looked at each other. We will bewildered that this young girl, no one saw her do it. No one knows who she is. She just did it. This act of kindness. But this this story doesn't end there. As we look at each other, I mean, this guy, we shared a moment. We went, wow. They had she had that young girl had just rebuilt our rebuilt our faith in humanity, kindness. And you wouldn't believe what happened then. The homeless guy, he looks at me. He looks at his hand. He had coins in both hands and had a $20 a night. And he puts all the coins in his left hand.

[00:14:23] He had the $20 knot in his right hand and he said he might. This is. Yours and that story still touches me to this day. A man who has nothing, nothing, shared his goodness, shared his joy, shared his reward. Think about that one. Until next time it's chi man out.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

I am, I am. Powerful words determines and defines your being, your human character and behaviour. I'll be talking about. I am in this next podcast listening. Hello and welcome back. Man here again, kinship code. Someone asks me once, what is kinship code? Kinship code is about how you can get the best out of you, how you can be functioning at a really high level and capacity.

Now I want to talk about how the words we use can determine who we are. You might find that a little interesting and a bit difficult to digest at this point in time because in my first podcast I talked about how we give away our power instead of saying I am. We use the term all. That's what you think of me. And if you can recall, I've just said, oh, oh, that's what you think of me. And when we start believing that term, it starts shaping our behaviour. But it also influences our brain. Our brain is then programmed to pick up and to behave in that manner. And if those terms or if someone gives you a label that gives you hurt, that makes you feel not worthy, you will actually harbour that in your soul, in your spirit. And unfortunately, the world is shaped that we are now giving away our power to others to determine who we are. I'm going to share with you in this podcast how I used to have that mindset. But the healing mindset for me was helping me overcome what other people thought of me. It took me from a place of shame to a place of shameless. And I'm not talking about doing something that embarrasses you in front of people. I'm talking about you doing what you feel is right. Doing the right thing by you. It's it's also about standing up to a thing called peer pressure. Peer pressure is a nasty word. I believe peer pressure is the word that gets you to follow others and peer pressure can get you in a lot of trouble. He can get very expensive. It can actually make you very unhappy. So in this podcast, I'm going to talk about how to unleash who you are in the most powerful way you can, because everybody's got the ability to do that. I will teach you. Oh, not teach you. I will show you old demonstrate to you how the use of two words can be the most powerful thing that you can do with your life. I can also explain how two words can also be the most damaging things to your life. And those two words. I am whatever you put beside the word I am. You become, for instance, when people ask me now, how are you going? K man. I say I am amazing. And people look at me and go, wow, that's fantastic. Wow. And with that little exchange, two things happen. The listener gets excited for me. Someone is actually telling me they're amazing because your emotions, what you feel in your gut. And they call the gut. Our second bryne of just given this person who's asked me how I'm feeling, a really good feeling by saying I am amazing. And then they get something out of that, because every time you get a goose bump, my mental, you feel good research, then this is fully researched. The researchers research says that you will actually rebuild your red blood cells, your red blood cells real, then reinvigorate, but also reproduce. Because that feeling that you get in terms of the what they call the goosebump moments, the human triumph moments, those moments where you go, aha, I get it. Now when I share that with that person to get to that moment, when I say that to myself and I might be feeling the best, I might not be feeling I could be tyred I could be feeling a little bit depressed because I just bought an ice cream and I went to lick the ice cream and the ice cream fell off the car and fell on the gutter. And I couldn't have my ice cream something bad. But I'm not going to say to that person all I am feeling bad because he will share that. Oh, you're feeling bad. But when you use the term I I am amazing or I am great. That sends a message to the other person. I non-tangible an energy, a vibe, a vibe. That vibe will resonate and cling to that person's cells and help them grow in this sense of the human spirit. But like I've said, this is actually researched, a guy called Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist at the Thomas Jefferson University. And Mark, Robert Waldman, a communications expert, collaborated on a book in 2016. And that book is called Speak with Love How Your Words Can Restructure your Brain. Words can change your brain. It's been research. I've seen the growth of the brain cells, but more importantly of the red blood cells that function in every parts of our body. In it, they write, quote, A single word has the power to influence the expression and growth of genes. The human genes G and E s the genes. So I am is not just a mental spiritual strength anchor. It has been proven by academics that it is also physically enhancing to yourself. For instance, I I've got I've got two girls. My youngest girl lives with me. She's just she'd move that. She's moved back in with me and which is about 17 eyes to walk around the kitchen and say things. And she looked at me one day and she says, Dad, you love yourself. And I did think about that for about three minutes. And I thought, yeah, I do, I do. And she looked at me. She went, oh, yeah, I do. I did know what I was talking about back then. But I know because I knew that I was saying positive things about myself now, because in this society we're we are taught we are programmed to get that positive exchange from someone else. They validate who we are. They validate our value. They value that validate our self-worth. But my powerful, powerful energy, the most powerful source of love comes from your own gut, comes from you. You actually put that out there. So when people say to me, how are you? I just say, I'm amazing. And like I said, when I remember that I did months ago, I walked into a cafe in West End in Brisbane and there was two people serving me. I'd got to know them over the period of time. And they both said to me, hey, man, how are you get today? And I said, I'm great. I'm amazing. They both looked at me when I heard what? How did you do that? I just said, I just said it. And then I said, how are you both going? And one one of the girls you can go to, though I'm not too good. Too good today. I'm not good. I said, well, it's interesting. I said, because your day will be a not too good day because you don't have a good day. You have to create a good day. I didn't tell her that like that. I just said you start using the term. I am amazing when people ask you how you are today. She said, I'll give it a try and know what of the law. This is God's truth. I went outside to the courtyard to set my work to wife about an hour and a half on my laptop during my other work. She came in to bring me, ordered a second round of coffee. She brought the coffee and she said to me, K man, it it worked. I'm feeling really, really good by just sign. I am amazing. Well, actually, she said I'm great. And when she's saying right, she was not feeling great. But just the very thing of saying it, because when you talk to yourself, somebody is always listening. And you know who that person is. It's you. And when you talk to others, you talk to yourself when you're on mine. If you're just before your head hits the pillow at night to go to sleep, your brain's talking to your self, your listening, you're listening and you're registering. Just imagine creating a kinship kind of self love of telling yourself it doesn't matter what you look like. It doesn't matter what you look like. If you look in the mirror and you see love, there is nothing more powerful. You can have the most powerful atomic weaponry. But to actually develop a mindset of self love, self love. And there's another virtue, which I will talk about in other another episode of this podcast. Another session of this. Now, another episode is forgiveness. But for the moment, I want to talk about being kind and loving to yourself. I am. Sportspeople do this very well. Boxers. Anthony Mundine used to do it. Muhammad Ali used to do it. Other people, they talk themselves up, sports people. When you see a sports person, an elite sports. Or someone who just plays soccer on a social weekend on a Tuesday night, not physically. You get yourself in shape. But like the great Wayne Bennett from the Brisbane Broncos. Sorry now. He's now gone to the Rabbitohs. Better get it right for you, Brisbane Broncos supporters and Rabbitohs supporters. He actually said that when he looks for a young kid with potential, he says the skill level is only 10 percent. He wants 90 percent of mental toughness. He wants to know when you're physically exhausted, when you're physically have nothing left in, your lungs are burning, your legs are led. He wants to know that you have the mind set, the mind, the mentality to keep those legs going on from Townsville in Queensland. So. Ah, but I live in Brisbane and I'm a big fan of North Queensland Cowboys, but I'm also a big fan of the of the Queensland State of Origin. And I'veseen Origin gone to a Queensland have been written off. And they just come back and you can tell the plies. What separates good players and great players is that physically you can still do the same training you got you'd put in 20 hours a week training. But then when no one's watching, those great players start doing things other training on themselves. But they also start working their mindset to the point where physically that might have nothing left, but they run on pure, pure human spirit. A good case is when the when the Marines, the mighty Marines are Queenslanders started there. I think it was the eight to 10 straight series win in origin. It started in 2006 in that third game and it was one game of pace. And whoever won the third game would win the series. While Queensland hadn't won series for four while three years, I think in that third game they were just belting each other. Got to the point there were three or four minutes left and both sides were exhausted and the New South Wales were on their 20 yard line up from their try line. And and the halfback at the time was Brett Hodgson, who used to play for Hutchinson, who used to play for the West Tigers. He looked around and he picked up the ball, looked around to see someone running one of the forwards from the New South Wales players coming. He turned around, but no one was coming. But he'd got the ball and he just threw it back anyway. He didn't care. He'd want the ball. They were old. Everyone was exhausted. They both were exhausted. But there was one player who moved that one player had number six on his back. That one player was Darren LOCKYER, the Queensland and Australian captain. Somehow LOCKYER had found something that no one else found. He found the energy to keep running, to be mobile. And that wasn't from the training track. That is when I've spoken to Darren LOCKYER and Johnathan Thurston. I spoke with them by separately about how they prepare. They say it's about working in, working in and part of working in is working on the words you used to talk about yourself, how you perform as a person, how you how great you are. I say all the time, I do it all the time because people are naiomi now that I say to them, I am the man on the man. And people laugh as a You are the man. Poovie. But guess what? I'm getting more out of that than anybody's getting because I'm developing myself and I've learnt that from people who excelled at sport. So what do you say to yourself? Matters when you're kind to yourself and loving to yourself? It matters. It contributes to who you are in the kinship. Kydd being kind to yourself. Kinship. Where I come from and also with the Aboriginal community, which I have with children who are Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander. Looking at the Aboriginal culture, they're the oldest living culture. They were building. They were surviving forty thousand years before they even started putting pyramids up in Egypt. The Australian Aboriginal First Nations culture, they came from a place of kinship. The kinship was to look after themselves, to tell them that they were worthy, to tell them they are worthy to look after others. Their job was to look after themselves, to look after others so that they could sustain life kinship code. I'm trying to explore all these concepts of how we can become better at what we do, and it's more about giving than receiving. So as episodes come in the next few few weeks, I'm looking forward to it sharing more of kinship code. And then together we can all build a mindset, a more caring, sharing mindset. But most importantly, it's about looking after ourselves because we've been robbed of that. The commercial. World. It's actually called a consumerism world. It's making sure that we don't care about ourselves, that we we actually give that Paraguay to others to determine our self-worth. We can spend more money on products. We can spend more and more money on diets, we can spend more money on hair colouring, we can spend more money on this and that to look better and feel better. Whereas if you're feeling good about yourself, those there's the secondary needs. And if you want to put a colour on your head, that's great. If you want to go on a diet, that's great. But first and foremost, building. Building an inner fortitude of being proud of who you are loving, who you are. It's not the easy task. And I'm going to close off now. But one of the tascam to leave with you all is something that I learned today. That is when no one's watching. When you were in the evening or early morning looking to that bathroom mirror, when you're brushing your teeth, look in the mirror. And when you finish brushing your teeth, wash it, look at yourself and actually say to yourself, I am worthy, because when I did it the first time, I couldn't do it. I couldn't finish the sentence. I had to look away. And then I got to a stage where I could say, I love myself. Looking in your own eyes, there's no one there to judge you. You do it. And it's surprising how many people can't do it. I'd say up to eight to nine have people out of 10 can't do that. But when you get to a point where you can, you will just unleash the biggest energy you can, because I've done it. But I tell you what, I will leave you with this. In closing of this podcast and I've enjoyed it happy. I've enjoyed it, too, because I've had a ball, but only live you. This is that it takes discipline, discipline to do it and keep doing it. And no matter how much it hurts and pains, discipline, discipline, discipline, and it gets a point after being disciplined. It becomes habit. And when it becomes habit, you keep doing it. And guess what? It becomes routine slash lifestyle. It is not something you do. You think about. It's like brushing your teeth. You just have to do it. And that's part of developing kinship code. Looking forward to it. Take a piece.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Welcome to Kinship Code. Well, I'll be talking about developing and conditioning the human spirit towards a mindset to live routine habits of practise to reignite, recharge and refocus human capacity for stronger self-belief, self-respect, love, esteem and self-worth. Hi, I'm Kman, man. I'm here for the next few minutes, just chat to you about kinship code that came in. You might be scientia. Who's who's this came in? Well, I'm a bit like Spider-Man and Superman. You know, there's a theme happening there. Can you can you get it? Yeah, I think he can.

[00:00:41] And I'm gonna be talking about the human capacity for self-belief, self-respect, self-love, self-esteem and self-worth. And how appropriate at this time of COVID-19, where we are finding ourselves in a different world. It's as if the world someone just walked up to the world, the globe and gone. I don't like what I'm seeing, what's happening in this world. Let's just pull the plug. Let's just recall a cloud calibrate what's happening in the world. So someone's just pulled the plug. Boom, it's gone. Mike, drop, finish. We're finding ourselves in a new jungle, people. A new jungle. And one of the biggest things that I've seen happening. And not only seen happening I've experienced myself is fear. Now, in terms of your self-belief, yourself with fear. He's gonna be a major disruptor. But I'm here to tell you, in the kinship code, we develop a code that you can actually embrace fear. Fear can be a good thing. Fear can be a positive thing. The opposite of fear is positivity. Being positive about your life. And while we're locked down in this situation of COVA 19, we're all in this together. You hear the media talk about it all the time. We are sharing this space. And then for myself and I think for yourself as well. You're spending a lot of time at home, your home and your little sanctuary. And we've somehow we've now developed an idea, a concept of jumping off the treadmill, the treadmill that has been telling us how to live our lives, how beautiful we are, how perfect we are. And we spend our time on that treadmill trying to chase the impossible dream. For me, the current situation of sitting down at home and working in, we spend a fortune on working out, working at a physical sense of who we are physically. So the world can see us as beautiful. Well, guess what, guys and girls, we're in a different ballgame now. We can now sit at home. And I'm telling you right now, we can work in working to start finding your self-respect, work into start finding yourself worth. We rely and we give away the power of self to the mighty, mighty media. The media, whether it be social media, print media and the big media, the television media with shows such as Math's Survivor, all these shows, all these beautiful people go, we get addicted to we forget about everything else. And we live an artificial life that has come to a grinding halt. We are now faced of getting up in the morning, going to brush our teeth and looking in the mirror and really self reflecting on who we are, where we come from. I see Kiva's 19 as a disruptor. It's actually walked up to that conveyor belt or that treadmill and someone's pulled the plug. And guess what? You've just stopped and gone. Eyecye. What do I do now? Well, I'm telling you guys and girls get to know yourself because we've been giving away our power for too long. The Western world, the commercial world has been telling us what we need to do to survive in this world. We've been living artificially. The mighty dollar has governed how we live our life. We have given our power away, our own self, beauty and the word I'd like to introduce. It's a beautiful thing. Every one of us has got it. It's called love. And when you put that in context of yourself, it's called self love. For too long, we've been governed by external love. What other people think of us. We build up walls that says there's them and there's us. And then there's me. Me. Look at me. Because when you get up in the morning and you gotta brush your teeth like I was chatting to you before you look in the mirror and it's just you and you go, okay. What are other people doing? One of the other beautiful people doing. But because he got up and because God has given you the energy, the breath, the lungs, the life to live another day, you've just qualified to be beautiful. But that beautiful is taken away by the external, and then external is governed by what society governs. Is the power, the status quo? They tell us what's beautiful. They sell us what's right. They tell us what to buy, what to listen to. By giving us, we give our power away. We jump on that treadmill and we're just pedalling for the impossible dream. We're forever looking for that impossible dream. But now with Kiva 19, guess what? As I said before, someone's pulled the plug on us and we're finding is going. What do I do now? Well, there's also fear. The positive part of fear is you get the courage to still do what you do. Now, the opposite of fear is not courage. Courage is the vehicle between fear and where you need to get to courage is just the vehicle. It's just the wheels. The mobility, it's not the opposite of fear. Fear is you still have the fear. Courage is still being mobile, still moving with fear in your gut. With that fear in your gut, you keep moving. You take that with you. So with that in mind. In this time of the world slowing down. I don't know about you. I'm now 55. I'm 56. In December, the sheer 20:20 and height aren't. Now with time has gone. Time is flying by. But we're now in the 70s when I grew up in the 60s. Even 24 hours was still 24 hours. Our concept of time hadn't changed now. Sorry, the concept has changed. But the actual minutes, the seconds themselves haven't changed. We've just been taught. We've just been programmed. We've just been running on that treadmill to make the time appear quicker. Now, with this current covered situation, 19 year old high marks like we've all slowed down and even mother, I've heard Mother Earth is now healing for the first time in a long time. They can see the tops of the mountains in Nepal. We are now seeing Mother Earth healing herself. And all due respect to the families who've lost loved ones.

[00:07:34] It's a very sad situation. We must learn from this individually. It starts with us to quote Mahatma Gandhi. We be the change we want to see in the world. When you're sitting at home listening this podcast, you're thinking, what can I do? What can I do to change the world? You can do a lot. You have more power than you give yourself credit for your own self-belief yourself. Love, self-respect, self-worth can contribute to a bigger, better world. And bigger doesn't mean richer. Bigger means more love. For instance, at my house, I've got to know my neighbours, my neighbours a lot better. Their kids now some sort of a scary looking chap. If you haven't seen me, I'm scary looking. The kids, they're toddlers, but they get frightened of me. But because I've seen them every day, because they have now transferred their playground to the front of their carport, I see them every day. And I've developed a relationship, a deeper relationship with with my neighbours. And that's a positive to come out of this. Just the same as fear, because fear is a good thing.

[00:08:46] Fear can get you on the track to reinvent yourself. I was just chatting to a friend, are now doing a podcast and I was thinking about it. But now with my business, it has to be part of the way I do think so. The fear of doing it. The fear of succeeding or failure. Whatever you want to put it down to that phase been removed because I have to do it.

[00:09:10] The fear is still there. And I said to my colleague, who's helped me put this together. I'm nervous. But guess what? I'm nervous. I've got fear. But I'm still going to have a go. That's what you have to tell yourself. That's having self-belief, self-respect, self-love, self-esteem and self-worth. Because we have been giving our own personal power away. And that's not on purpose. Every one of us. We are being programmed. We've lost our self. We've moved away from the village to a more broader commercial setting. When you get back to self, you get back to relationships with others. And that is a positive and fear in itself is a positive.

[00:09:53] I've come to my stage in my life and I'm fifty. I'm fifty five years of age. Fear has driven me to achieve things which my parents who were there. Torres Strait Island people. And they're the first nations people of Australia. And when that when I was born, they were under the Aborigines Protection Act. They didn't have rights. We were actually not classified as as citizens. We were classified under an act to have to return. Protected to govern our very lives. So I grew up in a life in my early life. Early childhood of fear and anxiety. And from that fear and anxiety show fear.

[00:10:33] We've all experienced fear. We all experience anxiousness. But I've decided that I must still keep moving ahead. And it's about having self-belief, self-respect, self-love, self-esteem and self-worth. And the biggest big daddy of them all or the big mama, don't be gender specific. The biggest source of that is love. Now, love, everybody's got love. And closely beside that, love is a thing called empathy and kindness. Kindness comes with that. People say, well, you know, kindness should be you know, they say, oh, it's a random act. That's how far we've come away from the village, caring relationships where kindness is now just a random act. How sad is that? Kindness is random, I think. I think to be honest, kindness should be routine. Kindness should be part of the lifestyle we live. Kindness isn't something that just occurs out of the blue. Kindness is about waking up soon as your eyes open. You have empathy for kindness, and that's developing a routine habit of practise to reignite, recharge and refocus the human capacity. Because for far too long, that capacity has not been functioning. We've all been dancing to a tune that says You're not good enough. You are not worthy. All these things that rob you of yourself capacity for worth and we'll follow it. We will follow it. And people might say bubblehead. How do you know? What do you know? I work on this thing every day, every minute, every second of my breathing life when I'm awake.

[00:12:21] As you know, I've come from a background where my parents told me never to look a white man in the eye. My parents told me if I was the naughty boy, the authorities would come and remove me away from them. So I had fear. I went to school with fear. But my human capacity through being supported by people around me to support me, to get to a place to be stronger. And that's another valuable lesson I've learned, is that we need the positive people in our lives around us to boy and boy us up. We don't need people around you that will pull you down. But I'll continue the narrative that says that you are not worthy because you are worthy. You need to talk to people who will lift and pump up your tyres. People who tell you, yes, you up perfect the way you are. And that, my friends, that is developing a mindset of self love. Once you develop this love of self, you can authentically love others until you develop that level of self love. Your love is only a partial capacity when you develop a full blown mobile, moving upwards and not downward love.

[00:13:44] You can be authentically more value and loving to the ones who care you care about most. That's your family, your friends, people close to you at the present moment. We are not running at full capacity. In my introduction, we need to. I did talk about developing and conditioning the human spirit towards a mindset that takes discipline. You need to have a discipline to do that.

[00:14:13] And folks, now we're in this lock down and we've jumped off the Ferris wheel or the treadmill or the production line, whatever you call society that we've been running a hundred miles per hour.

[00:14:24] We can now stop and then recalibrate our mindset into routine habits. So from discipline you work in, like I said, we can all work out and get these bulging biceps six packs. Perfect. Looks good. But if you haven't got the self love capacity, full capacity operating on the inside, you're not complete self love is the biggest source of energy.

[00:14:51] So you develop a mindset so that when someone does have a go at you and say, oh, you know, you're not all that. Let me tell you, it does hurt when people tell you or or marginalize you or ostracize you or push you aside or say you you know, your negatives things, the bad do. It does hurt.

[00:15:12] But when you develop a mindset to find that wound, you're still going to hurt. You find that wound and you reach in and you. And you rip it out and ripping it out or just being hurtful, but you identify it. I kind of had to rip this thing out. You rip it out. Boom. Hokkaido Herft Blue Wall. But then you'll release it. You release. Release the hurt. And then you'll continually to start reinvigorating your mindset. Art practise this for a few years now. And show on social media in the streets. I still get negativity and it does impact on you. You do feel it, but your response time to that is unbelievable. Because once you develop a mindset. So you got to like I said in my beginning, continually developing and conditioning your human spirit. We've all got one. If you haven't got one, you're not listening to me or you haven't got the potential to listen to me. So it's towards a mindset to live routine habits. But it takes discipline to do that in this lockdown situation. We can develop a discipline to the point where it just becomes like brushing your teeth. So our routine habits of practise, practicing these things to reignite, recharge and refocus your human capacity. As I said earlier, our human capacity has moved from village mentality to capitalism and telling me it's about how much money you can give someone else who's in a higher, higher position, in a higher building on a high mountain and you're working your butt off. It's about returning it. And one of the positives out of this cove 19 is and I've read this online, is that we are getting to a point where we are returning to a village mentality by getting to know my night, my neighbor's kids who now recognise me and run over for a chat and wave goodbye to me up. To be honest, that's my PI day. That was today. That was this morning. That's made my day. I don't get that rushing around trying to meet deadlines and all that. Don't get me wrong, this won't feed you. We still have to go do our shopping. But if we develop a mindset, a mindset towards those lovely virtues of self belief, Madonna, one of my favourite singers of all time. But Donna said self when she talks to young girls, she says self-belief is the only protection. You have self-belief. You had that, too. Self-respect, self-esteem, self-worth and the big daddy self-love. Once you have that as part of your armoury, you can then discover what you can be. Because at the moment, to be honest, I think people are being conditioned to be mediocre. We're conditioned to be factory workers because that's just the way the world set up to be factory work and nothing wrong with factory workers that please don't take this as an offence. All I'm saying is that if someone wants to break out of that bubble that contains people. But it's the fear. It's the fear of doing it. And that, my friends, is where fear can be a good thing. Thank you for listening. Keep safe social distance. Always peace.

Follow Kman on: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | fullblack.com.au

View Details

Kinship is the Code to reignite and further stimulate our human spirit, advancing from surviving to thrive in our shared human toil.

This Code (philosophies) was taught to ensure the sustainability of the human race based and embedded from a mantra of ‘Self-care to care for others’ to sustain life and World. Emerging from Kanat Wano’s, First Nations, Indigenous Australian Worldview.