Not A Victim: Recent Episodes
Zach Rudolph
Can emptiness be unlearned?
I was raised in a Christian home. And no, I’m not about to tell you how I “outgrew” it or “evolved” past it.
But I went through a season of depression that exposed the truth. Deep down I thought God hated me.
This podcast is a documentation of the years I’ve spent unlearning half truths and digging for deeper ones.
It’s a podcast about the journey out of Victimhood, Cowardice & Self Obsession and into; The Good, The True, & The Beautiful.
Hey everyone! Today I wanted to bring you a short episode on self sabotage and why it appeals to us. There actually is a kind of logic to it. For more on sabotage: https://open.substack.com/pub/zachrudolph/p/unholy-agreements?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Today we speak about the relationship between humility and peace, then we (quickly) discuss John Vervaeke’s ideas on why video games are so addictive.
Today my dad and discuss weed, the interplay between Christianity and politics, hierarchy vs. acceptance, and how resentment undoes it all. Link to Ben & Marc podcast mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-future-of-the-american-dream/id1713388101?i=1000656137765
Today my dad and friend Kevin join me for an informal chat on “success”, goals, and how to live the journey well.
Today my dad joins me to discuss the ever present cloud of insignificance, and a few thoughts on how to kill it.Check out the latest Substack piece "The Mind Is Becoming A Circle" https://open.substack.com/pub/zachrudolph/p/the-mind-is-becoming-a-circle?r=rep67&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Today we discuss the 1927 dystopian sci-fi movie "Metropolis" and many other things. check out the movie: https://youtu.be/W_4no842TX8?si=q56XwdxLINe-ASxYcheck out Ulysses' work:https://comicsodyssey.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web
Must art be based in nihilism and resentment? What would something else even look like? Ulysses joins me to discuss.Check out Ulysses' work: https://comicsodyssey.substack.com?utm_source=navbar&utm_medium=web
Today I introduce you to my new friend Ulysses. He shares his Jehovah's Witness upbringing, turning to spiritualism, and ending up in church.Check out his work: https://comicsodyssey.substack.com
In your regrets, how accurately are you remembering who you were? Are you overestimating who you were to increase the drama of the failure? Do you find self sabotage a perverse pleasure? Today my dad joins me for a short discussion on regret. P.s. there’s a lot happening over on substack and I’d love to have you join us! https://open.substack.com/pub/zachrudolph/p/regret-is-half-true?r=rep67&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Why is the church dying? Today we jump into the recent Louise Perry & Justin Brierley conversation and explore this.Link to original post: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7yjvfTurWOgzLVIU9Cj9li?si=k79P0vApQ5WfORYmoFWj5w have thoughts? email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
About a week ago, I got off social media. Today in this very disorganized chat, I go over a few reasons why and a few incremental steps you could experiment with if you’ve thought about it also. Tell me stuff! zachrudolph33@gmail.com
Today I join my dad to discuss religious neuroticism, the strange desire to punish oneself for sin, and the sovereignty of God. I hope it blesses you. Link to source article: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/a-seductive-trap
“You’re never too successful to be unhappy.” Today I join my dad over coffee to dig into a innovative on happiness I discovered while reading ‘Goodbye, Things - The New Japanese Minimalism’ we discuss it’s implications and how it might change the way we make goals.Happy New Year friends! Goodbye, Things: https://www.amazon.com/Goodbye-Things-New-Japanese-Minimalism/dp/0393609030
Between the inherent difficulty of life and how easily we fall into self deception, It can become natural for many of us to live in a kind of jaded misery. Today I discuss how existentialism can easily turn into self-pity for a person like me, and then we explore an excerpt from a brilliant piece by GK Chesterton.Read Chesterton’s full piece: https://www.poeticous.com/chesterton/orthodoxy-chapter-v--the-flag-of-the-worldRead The Place Behind Her Eyes: https://open.substack.com/pub/zachrudolph/p/the-place-behind-her-eyes?r=rep67&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Today I’m joined by Steve Reiter. We discuss his upbringing, his career at Focus On The Family, The Never Alone Project, and how he came to be one of the founders of Holy Smokes; a international network of men who gather weekly and share life over cigars.
I joined my local group a few months ago and it has been life changing. Today we extend an invite to you.
Join the Facebook group: https://fb.me/g/oZygWDMU4/kvdByGP8
Holy Smokes Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5F5HDPSd6368EQWoyhyn2b?si=td6x73BOT_-cxJJj2cx97A
The Never Alone Project: https://www.neveralonepandemic.org
Article: Will Cigars Save Masculinity? https://open.substack.com/pub/zachrudolph/p/will-cigars-save-masculinity?r=rep67&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Today I speak with Steve Reiter. We discuss his upbringing in the Assemblies Of God church, his career at Focus On The Family, The Never Alone Project, and Holy Smokes; a international network of Christian men who get together and enjoy cigars.
Cigars have opened a world previously not visible to me. They create an environment of slowing down. An environment of conversation and connection so painfully missing from today’s masculinity.
My hope is that by the end of this podcast, you will have one more option to not go through life alone. 
If you have further questions feel free to message me. Below are the links discussed in this episode; starting with my original article on the group and links to join. 
Article: Will Cigars Save Masculinity? https://open.substack.com/pub/zachrudolph/p/will-cigars-save-masculinity?r=rep67&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
The Holy Smokes Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5F5HDPSd6368EQWoyhyn2b?si=DCykHOcZRomXw5oV2668_g
Join the group: https://fb.me/g/oZygWDMU4/kvdByGP8
*the audio in the second half is slightly out of sync. My apologies. I would fix it but I have to work now. 😂
If you’re utopian towards yourself, you will be dystopian towards others.
TO BE CLEAR I AM NOT JUSTIFYING SOCIAL MEDIA COMPANIES REMOVING HIM. But, everyone is going to be covering that part of the story so I wanted to go somewhere else with this.
Link to the original conversation: https://youtu.be/4AWLcxTGZPA
Dennis Prager once said “Without courage it’s impossible to do good.” But it just as easily might be said “Without energy it’s impossible to do good.”
Today we look at relatability vs intentionality, then; explore how we’re unintentionally making ourselves exhausted.
Every moment spent on social media involves heated debates, half naked people, false glamour and real tragedy. In each of these we are making countless decisions about what we agree with, what we disagree with, and what we would’ve said different. But what if our energy is a tank? What if it has a limited supply? What if we are unintentionally depleting our much-needed energy on things that don’t matter?
What if we’re so worn out by the end of the day that living with things like “purpose” and “meaning” simply takes too much effort?
“Let us not grow weary in doing good…” Galatians 6:9
“You go NPC all day, then you come home and be Audience.”
In a world of constant change, the necessity of individual agency is higher than ever. Taking the standard path, getting a standard job is being replaced by a world of regular career change and “side hustles”. At the same time, generational separation, homogenizing education, and constant distraction kill off would-be growth leaving many of our young in a “why even try?” Mindset.
Regardless of world events, we have a obligation to strive. To leave everything on the field. The first step is acknowledging the agency gap.
Sources:
https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/guest/john_gatto.html
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/personal-agency
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QDTz7K9ionI&feature=youtu.be
https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B06ZZZ42RP&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow
Today I join my dad over coffee to discuss The Four Temperaments, Maslow‘s Hierarchy of Needs, and what ‘Good’ actually means in hopes that we might better understand who we are, why we can’t seem to change, and what it is that we should be aiming at.
“The meaning of life is to alleviate unnecessary suffering.” -Jordan Peterson
More on the temperaments: https://www.goodcatholic.com/a-catholic-guide-to-the-four-temperaments/
Read the piece: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/the-cannibalistic-modern-dating-machine?r=rep67&s=w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=direct
Read Mary’s piece: https://unherd.com/2021/11/the-sexual-revolution-killed-feminism/
Today my new friend Peter Keller joins me for a wide ranging discussion on everything from our current YouTube obsessions, missionaries and capitalism, Legalism and art, and all things faith.
Whatever you’re dealing with today, I hope this keeps you company.
CHECK OUT PETER’S WRITING:  https://kellerpeter.substack.com
P.s. @davidbates yes I know ‘Pints with Jack’ uses ‘after hours’ please don’t sue me. 😂
Join the community! https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/rise-of-the-machines
Email me: notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
For months I’ve pondered this question:
What is it about the way we live today that creates the necessity for many to ask questions as basic as, “am I really male?”
What unnoticed patterns contribute to our dislocation? And where do we go from here?
Today on Not A Victim.
Today we look at the interplay between Sanity, Surrender, & Sleep.
“The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason.” -G.K. Chesterton
Read the article: https://newpolity.com/blog/the-politics-of-insomnia
Check out what’s new on my substack: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=substack_profile
Read the article: https://www.patheos.com/blogs/evangelicalpulpit/2021/11/modern-worship/
Have feedback? Notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Today I chat with David Bates. David hosts the C.S. Lewis podcast “Pints With Jack”
We get into his personal story, How Lewis has changed both of us, and just generally have a great conversation on all things faith. Join us!
Check out his podcast! https://open.spotify.com/show/66miEEuk7tFMDk72a2LIcL?si=H227X2jcQUOxvQaXFncmAw
Have feedback? Email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Steven Furtick is getting pwned after his silly comment the other day. I’m no theology expert so I thought we’d look at his comment from a different angle… forget moral, does a self centered religion even do the one thing it promises? (Namely, Make you happy)?
Is there a connection between constant distraction and overall dissatisfaction? I believe there is. So I decided to try something.
If you’re interested in joining me, go to settings > accessibility > Display and Text Size > Color Filters
Here’s a quick overview of what I’ve been working on! Excited to be back with you all soon!
What happens when a society no longer values standards?
Modernity believes killing ideals will increase the value of the ordinary. The truth however, is that; without Perfect there is no Decent.
“Every ideal is a judge.” -Jordan Peterson
Dive deeper:
Little Places & The Recovery of Civilization by Eva Brann https://theimaginativeconservative.org/2021/06/little-places-recovery-civilization-timeless-eva-brann-90.html
The Fading of Forgiveness by Tim Keller https://theimaginativeconservative.org/2021/06/little-places-recovery-civilization-timeless-eva-brann-90.html
How is happiness found? One view is, happiness is having no problems. To be met with no obstacles and live with no attachments... To do what you want, when you want.
The other view is that; happiness is having good problems. To face real challenges, to live with real stakes, to have a Everest worth climbing. We don’t change unless we have to. Without challenge there is no growth. There is only the tiny, self obsessed, empty world inside our snow globe.
Today on Not A Victim.
Read Rod’s piece: “Lotus Eaters & The Experience Machine” https://www.theamericanconservative.com/dreher/lotus-eaters-robert-nozick-experience-machine/
Check out the article: https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/jordan-peterson-stranger-things-and
I’m sick of playing defense. I’m sick of lamenting. It’s time to stop reacting and state our case Before it’s too late.
Have feedback? Email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Under every vice is a need. Under every moment of self sabotage is a longing. The longer we pretend it isn’t there, the longer we draw out the pain.
Today on Not A Victim, how do we get past the beliefs that hold up the walls of our isolation so we might begin to see with new eyes?
“I know too much I think I know my way around, Too smart to feel a heart break now Too old let my safeguards down. Where'd the wonder go? Trading magic for a measured hope, Traded dreaming for a worn out home Tired of being in control.
In the cosmic light, In the by and by I wanna see your heart Through my younger eyes. I wanna hear your voice In the rain and wind I wanna know it's safe to be A child again.” -NEEDTOBREATHE
Find a counselor https://www.christiancounselordirectory.com
Have feedback? Email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Today we explore the stupidity of “Happy Nihilism” then dive into an excerpt from “The Weight of Glory” by C.S. Lewis
“That is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete.” -Willa Cather
Check out my articles! https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/the-necessity-and-impotence-of-fame?justPublished=true
Sources: https://www.google.com/amp/s/paulvanderklay.me/2015/02/18/the-specific-pleasure-of-the-inferior/amp/
https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/08/26/willa-cather-my-antonia-happiness/
Have feedback? Email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Trying something new… https://zachrudolph.substack.com/p/megachurch?r=rep67&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=copy
What props up our anxiety? What lies are going undetected? Do we quietly believe that we are responsible for everyone and everything? Today we get into moral OCD, shame, and the way out.
“I have never had clarity; what I have always had is opportunities to trust.” -Mother Teresa
More on Moral OCD: https://www.accounseling.org/religious-and-moral-scrupulosity-in-christians/?unapproved=3880&moderation-hash=93ccf48003b939806176bf2f4f7d3f59#comment-3880
Have feedback? Email me at notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Today I’m joined by Catholic apologist Jimmy Akin for a wide ranging discussion on; The future of Christianity, Christian art, Ghosts, Psychic abilities and much more!
Check out his podcast! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jimmy-akins-mysterious-world/id1423288932
In a world without God, all that’s left to do is “amuse ourselves to death”. In his novels, Walker Percy described the boredom and anxiety of a society who; having left its beliefs in higher things, wanders from pleasure to pleasure looking for fulfillment. Today on Not A Victim, we look at the state of the modern mind and how God can still save us from ourselves.
This may seem silly but, if you don’t know how to feel wonder anymore and don’t know where to start, one thing I’ve enjoyed is this podcast. it displays many of the earth’s oddities and anomalies… one memorable episode discussed a hole in a desert which has been burning for 50 years straight… I believe it’s a tool to help us recapture the wonder of what it means to be alive: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-atlas-obscura-podcast/id1555769970
After all our talking, all our singing, what happens to the world when; deep down religious people are just as panicked and filled with the fears of the day as the society around us? What does that say about what we truly believe?
If your faith doesn’t protect you from the fear of life, what good is it? Fear is a punishment. Is the death of body the alter at which everything truly bows? Do we even believe in the existence of spirit anymore? Is safety our one true God?
“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18
“Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” 2 Cor 3:17
“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.” Matthew 5:13
After last week’s episode I asked people this question:
how did your life go differently than you thought growing up and where have you found joy in unexpected places?
These are their stories.
Thanks to everyone who shared their story! I hope they bless you!
For most of us, life doesn’t turn out like we pictured. Even those who become their childhood idols often find that it feels different than they thought it would.
As a result we often live in daydreams of denial because we don’t want to admit; that deep down, we gave up on ourselves. But this is not the end.
Today on Not A Victim, what to do when dreams fall.
Do you ever find yourself using stress as a motivator?
Today we dive into a piece by Psychology Today on the interplay between Stress, Anger, & Adrenaline and what can be done about it.
Email me: notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-another-name-pain/201912/the-connection-between-anxiety-anger-and-adrenaline%3famp
Lastly, Thanks to my dad for inspiring the topic of this episode
There are two moral systems.
One says morality is a fog of culturally dependent norms created by a humanity which is alone in the universe.
The other teaches that morality is like a mosaic. Every situation is made up 100’s of prior decisions each of which determines the correctness of how we see the world. That morality is a process of discovery, not fabrication.
One offers us truth. the other, power. And the throne is always up for grabs.
“The true test of a man, the beginning of his redemption, actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he’s used all his life. The real journey begins when the false self fails.”
-John Eldredge
This is a recent conversation between my dad and I about the epidemic of male loneliness, the importance of integrity, and how to find meaning in it all. I hope it blesses you!
Modernity is Fractured. Our beliefs are fractured, our minds are fractured, & our daily lives leave us feeling disconnected.
As the social fabric disintegrates, we pull inward, where (we think) it’s safe. But this separation has its own cost. Rather than experiencing life as one part of a bigger plan, We become trapped as the gods of the tiny world inside our mental snow globes.
But there is more. There is a life beyond the self, a beauty beyond us, a truth outside of us. There is more.
Today on #NotAVictim we read an excerpt from ‘The Master and His Emissary’ by Iain McGilchrist on the inward eyes of the modern mind, then we dive into the antidote as characterized in “Manalive” by G.K. Chesterton
Sources: http://harvardichthus.org/2005/04/g-k-chesterton-and-the-joy-of-living/
https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v17/n21/iain-mcgilchrist/it-s-not-so-much-thinking-out-what-to-do-it-s-the-doing-of-it-that-sticks-me
Why do we feel so numb? Is there a connection between the pace of modern life and our feeling of numbness? What false conception of humanity holds it up? Should we not be happier than those that came before us, given our many conveniences? Why do we feel so distant?
Today on Not A Victim.
“The more machines begin to act like men, the more men begin to act like machines.” -Jentezen Franklin
For a deeper look into this topic check out this book by John Eldredge: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Life-Back-Practices/dp/1400208661
Send me your feedback! Notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Temptation plays on our weakness. It tells us we’re nothing. It tangles us in webs of lies and traps us in cycles of self destruction.
But what’s it’s antidote? Beyond just saying no, how do we dig down to the roots of where it’s grown and rip it out of our lives?
What needs have we ignored that make it’s pull so strong? What dreams did we let die? What honor have we traded for a slow death of comfort?
Today on Not A Victim.
“Truth be told, most of us are faking our way through life. We pick only those battles we are sure to win, only those adventures we are sure to handle, only those beauties we are sure to rescue.” -John Eldredge
Wanna start a podcast? Let’s do it! Notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Not even sure where to start? Personality tests are by no means the last word but they can help narrow the field. Jordan Peterson once said something along the lines of “having too many choices is akin to being tormented by all of them.” I’ve certainly experienced this.
https://www.16personalities.com
Whatever you do, Don’t just sit around and wait to die.
What if you got everything you wanted? Are you sure it’d be the way you picture it? What if you were given every convenience, every luxury, every impulse. Would it be heaven? Really? Or would it be something else?
With a society as rich, lazy, and depressed as ours we must ask, Is meaning found where we’re looking?
Today on Not A Victim.
Do you ever feel like there’s always commentary running in the back of your head and no matter what you can’t turn it off?
So much of my life has been ruined by an inability to experience things.
Scripture says “Today I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”
We may think this choice to be obvious, but it’s the hardest choice we make.
Today on Not A Victim, The Great Refusal.
Someone once said “You can judge the depth of a spirituality by the beauty of the art it produces.”
What does this say about the depth of modern Christianity? Have we quietly given into the materialist belief that matter is all there is?
If our ability to imagine all of life within a Christian framework dies, our ability to defend it will die with it.
Today we dive into the strange death of imagination and how it might be reawakened.
“Let me write the songs of a nation and I don’t care who writes it’s laws.” -Andrew Fletcher
Dive deeper: https://youtu.be/yYWvUoN4yt8
https://theimaginativeconservative.org/2019/07/imaginative-conservatives-auguste-meyrat.html
How should Christians treat other religions? What about people who are born into other traditions? What happens to them? If we’re not saved by works why do they ultimately matter? What is the nature of hell?
Some people take things at face value. Some need every piece to fit. For better or worse, I find myself in the latter.
With C.S. Lewis and Catholic Philosopher Peter Kreeft as our guide, today we attempt to answer the questions that kept me up at night.
Today we get into a short piece by Psychology Today on the relationship between control and anxiety... I hope it blesses you.
For more on this topic: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-a-victim/id1084106485?i=1000497239758
A growing number of people say they have no religious affiliation. There has been much abuse, corruption, & neglect in the name of the church. But is it still worth it? Today on Not A Victim.
A recent article by CNBC proclaimed: “51% of young Americans say they feel down, depressed or hopeless.”
The modern world is a world of nomads. A generation drifting from experience to experience never finding home. But does it have to be this way? Today on #NotAVictimPodcast
Books which have brought me peace:
https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=12+rules+for+life+jordan+peterson&qid=1620922382&sprefix=12+rules&sr=8-3
https://www.amazon.com/Mere-Christianity-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652926/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=mere+christianity+by+c.s.+lewis+paperback&qid=1620922410&sprefix=mere+chr&sr=8-1
https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Life-Back-Practices/dp/1400208661/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=get+your+life+back+john+eldredge&qid=1620922432&sprefix=get+your+life+ba&sr=8-3
Do you ever feel trapped in your head? Do you find that part of you is bent on self destruction? Today on #NotAVictimPodcast we get into the 4 false beliefs that keep us stuck.
Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-philosophers-diaries/202006/the-dark-side-perfectionism?collection=1160778
https://paulsohn.org/the-search-for-significance-seeing-your-true-worth-through-gods-eyes/
Are cops really hunting down blacks for sport? Is gender whatever we decide? Is “social justice” really just? Today’s world is constantly asking us to believe things we know to be false.
As we enter a post-Christian society, we’re once again experimenting with the age old question, “Can we make man in our own image?”
As Alexandr Solzhenitsyn stated before being exiled from his homeland of Russia: The only way out is a personal Non-participation in lies.
Sources: https://www.solzhenitsyncenter.org/live-not-by-lies
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wsj.com/amp/articles/the-myth-of-systemic-police-racism-11591119883
https://newdiscourses.com/2020/07/complex-relationship-between-marxism-wokeness/
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.thepostmillennial.com/local-news-reveals-everything-but-names-in-exposing-chauvin-jurors-identities
https://www.google.com/amp/s/wgntv.com/news/vandals-leave-pigs-head-smear-blood-on-former-home-of-derek-chauvin-defense-witness/amp/
Is morality natural? Is it practiced? Today we get into the three aspects of Christian morality and how it overlaps with evolutionary or “emergent” morality.
Sources: https://youtu.be/BVrLqpt0APo
https://www.amazon.com/Mere-Christianity-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652926/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=mere+christianity&qid=1619180818&sprefix=mere+christ&sr=8-1
Is cynicism inevitable? does the pain of life lead no other place? Or is there something beyond it? Is there something beyond the narrow vantage point the pain of life gives us?
Today on Not A Victim, we explore what’s after cynicism.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein
Sources:
https://www.ccel.org/ccel/chesterton/orthodoxy.vii.html
https://www.reliefjournal.com/blogposting/2014/09/17/ethics-elfland
https://www.britannica.com/topic/disenchantment-sociology
In my opinion, People today show depression too much respect. They act like it can’t be understood and it can’t be beat. I disagree.
Today we look into 3 things that cause depression and what we might do to leave it behind.
For a deeper look at this topic check out Johann Hari’s excellent book “Lost Connections.” https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/1632868318/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=lost+connections+book+by+johann+hari&qid=1617889874&sprefix=lost+conne&sr=8-3
If you feel like everyone you talk to is fake and need a place where people are real, Celebrate Recovery is a place to call home. You can check your local meetings here: https://locator.crgroups.info
“Get Your Life Back” by John Eldridge has been a great tool in helping me learn a new way of thinking. https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Life-Back-Practices/dp/1400208661/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=get+your+life+back+john+eldredge&qid=1617972196&sprefix=get+your+&sr=8-3
This week my wife joins me to discuss a few thoughts on how to meet your spouse and what to do while you wait!
As a teenager I found a book which interviewed 1,000 young women and just told what they wanted in a guy. I read it 4 times and got three friends to read it. I wouldn’t be married without this book. If you want better luck in the dating world, Consume at any cost.
For Young Men Only https://www.amazon.com/Young-Men-Only-Guide-Gender/dp/160142020X
For Young Women Only https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1590526503/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_1590526503
The U.S. marriage rate recently hit an all time low. Today’s culture is seeing less reasons to make the ultimate commitment. Today we dive into the beliefs and presumptions that underlie a culture of loneliness.
Sources:
Christians and the future of marriage by Albert Mohler: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thinking-in-public-albertmohler-com/id390278978?i=1000512375344
U.S. marriage rate hits historic low: https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-04-29/us-marriage-rate-drops-to-record-low
The Triumph of the Modern Self by Albert Mohler: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thinking-in-public-albertmohler-com/id390278978?i=1000501969020
The rider & the elephant by Jonathan Haidt: https://www.creativehuddle.co.uk/post/the-elephant-and-the-rider
Perhaps no issue divides Christianity as deeply today as Homosexuality and the Bible.
Both sides make good points but no progress is ever made.
Today on #NotAVictimPodcast we explore how both arguments are laced with self protection and cowardice; in the hopes that, through courage we might find the truer, kinder heart within the most important book ever written.
Sources:
Why I Don’t Call Myself Gay | Daniel Mattson Interview https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-a-victim/id1084106485?i=1000430700441
The neural correlates of in-group and self-face perception https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3759853/#__sec2title
From removing Dr Seuss for being “too offensive”, to an ever increasing depression among the young. How did we get here? Today we explore how fragility creates tyranny.
“Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.” -C.S. Lewis
Ever feel stuck in a mental rut? Where you feel split; as if, part of you wants to heal but some other part wants to keep you there?
Today on #NotAVictimPodcast we discuss a few strategies to unravel compulsive thinking.
“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.” -Duet. 30:19
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” -2 Timothy 1:7
For more on this topic check out our episode “When Sanity Leaves”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/not-a-victim/id1084106485?i=1000497239758
Growing up I often felt as though my life was redundant.
Modern life can make it feel as if there are no lands left to discover; and no dragons left to slay. Our safety has made us weak; and our weakness, empty.
Today on #NotAVictimPodcast we discuss the interplay of chaos and order and how both can be used to help us to live more fully.
The modern man is an indoor cat. With no mice to catch and no claws to Hunt, he curls up in a ball of video games and pornography to escape the daydreams of a long lost nobility, a long abdicated purpose.
Where men in the past pretended to be stronger than they were, men today pretend they have no interest in being strong if being strong is “toxic”.
“if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of“ -Jordan Peterson
TELL ME YOUR STORY: notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
Resources:
Jordan Peterson: Advice for young men https://youtu.be/JABOuLALtl0  Wild at heart: Discovering the secret of a man’s soul https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Revised-Updated-Discovering/dp/1400200393/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=wild+at+heart&qid=1613655174&sr=8-1
Video games and the (male) meaning of life: https://quillette.com/2018/12/14/video-games-and-the-male-meaning-of-life/
The art of manliness podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-manliness/id332516054
If you’re not married and you’d like to be, this book helped me more than any single other piece of knowledge. It surveys 1000 young women and explains what they value most in a man.
For Young Men Only by Shaunti Feldhahn: https://www.amazon.com/Young-Men-Only-Guide-Gender/dp/160142020X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=for+young+men+only+by+shaunti+feldhahn&qid=1613655832&sprefix=for+young+men+only+&sr=8-3
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Since it’s founding, Christianity has dominated American culture. And although that’s brought us many amazing things, One unintended side effect is that it created laziness. Muscles that aren’t used atrophy.
Christians dominated and they no longer had any need to be ruthlessly rigorous, tirelessly truthful. So as the new atheist movement took hold, Christianity was not prepared for the fight ahead. Not because it had no answers, but it simply wasn’t in fighting shape.
“The proper motto is not Be good, and let who can be clever, but Be good, and don’t forget that this involves being as clever as you can.” C.S. Lewis
If you’re haunted by seemingly unanswerable questions, I found many answers in “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis
Link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0060652926/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1613057220&sr=8-1
If you’d like to dive deeper into the blending of heaven and earth, here are some great people doing work in that field:
Jordan Peterson: https://youtu.be/f-wWBGo6a2w
Paul VanderKlay: https://youtube.com/c/PaulVanderKlay
Jonatan Pageau: https://youtube.com/c/JonathanPageau
Have you ever had a noise or a smell bring you back to a time in your past? One second you’re here, the next you’re reliving some long forgiven pain, some long forgotten fear or panic?
Today on #NotAVictim, what to do when your past haunts.
As the secular replaces the sacred, we’ve lost our notion of the wisdom and dignity that come with age. We became obsessed with youth, sex, and well, self. But there are some truths that only time tells.
“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected” -Robert Frost
TELL ME YOUR STORY: notavictimpodcast@gmail.com
“I don’t know what I’m looking for when I look at my phone but I’ve never found it.” -Pete Holmes
Sources:
“Get Your Life Back” by John Eldredge https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Life-Back-Practices-ebook/dp/B07TD1856B/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=get+your+life+back+john+eldredge&qid=1611010619&sprefix=get+your+life+&sr=8-3
How social media copies gambling methods ‘to create psychological cravings’: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/technology/2018/may/08/social-media-copies-gambling-methods-to-create-psychological-cravings
How Overstimulation Is Ruining Your Life https://youtu.be/yYWvUoN4yt8
This week I get into the two narratives around the Capitol riots. What they get right, what they get wrong and ultimately; where they leave us.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28
Even terrible decisions have a certain logic to them. How much of the regret we carry around is based on the unaccomplished triumphs of a version of ourselves that never really existed?
Shutdowns, Student Loans, & Stimulus’s. How the government protects us from our liberty to provide us with our bondage.
The gods of the age say “live your truth” since there’s really no such thing. The gods of the age say you’re going to die meaningless you may as well do it young. The gods of the age say our history holds nothing to be proud of and there’s ultimately nowhere to go. The gods of the age say division is unity and unity is oppression. The gods of the age say femininity is weakness and power is the one true God. The gods of the age say all pain is oppression and all oppression is caused by somebody else. The gods of the age say confusion is courage and clarity is privilege. The gods of the age say you’re perfect just the way you are but also, you’re completely meaningless. The gods of the age say nature is god and humans are only a parasite.
How long will we give our praise to the gods of the age?
“Where once Americans were anonymous to elites and transparent to their neighbors, now corporations know everything about them—and their neighbors know next to nothing.”
Today on #NotAVictimPodcast we get into the inward turn of modern life and how it ultimately leaves us miserable.
Have you ever been afraid to hope? Today we get into the fear of hope and overcoming imposter syndrome.
Sources: https://seths.blog/2017/10/imposter-syndrome/
https://www.amazon.com/How-We-Change-Reasons-Dont/dp/006296111X
“Self love”. it’s a term we hear a lot about today. Although it seems positive on the surface, underneath lies a much darker subtext.
Today we start with an excerpt from “The Attack on Beauty” by Marilyn Simon and dive into the identity crisis at the heart of the millennial psyche.
The attack on Beauty: https://quillette.com/2020/12/01/the-attack-on-beauty/
“Strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.” -Michael Hopf
Would you trade enjoyment for safety? Would you trade happiness for control? Today on #NotAVictimPodcast we dive into the logic of anxiety.
While people in suits tell us “Nothing To See Here”, we break down how opportunism creates conspiracy and, how; just because something may not have started as a corrupt master plan doesn’t mean it won’t end that way.
Do you ever feel like you’re living in a daydream? That your pain is causing your mind to disconnect from your life as a way to cope? What can be done? How do we restore sanity?
Today on Not A Victim
As we approach the election, John Piper released an article admonishing the virtue of self righteous passivity. This is my response.
Link: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/policies-persons-and-paths-to-ruin?fbclid=IwAR0N77WL5Pf4jhKJMdSev6CcEE_E0TPmfLXEDIwxhTnn6_CDf-tnwHGt3LI
for clarification I am not suggesting that pastors should start endorsing candidates. (It’s my view that pastors should not endorse candidates but should boldly teach their values and let the audience draw their conclusions about how they will vote. I also believe Christians who are NOT pastors should get involved and their leaders should be very respectful of their audiences and the controversy that comes with standing up for Christian values.) I am taking issue with the fact that Piper wants it both ways. He wants the untarnished reputation of not being involved AND the influence of being involved. To which I say, NO. You cannot have it both ways. Either get in and take the hits, or respectfully shut your mouth and let us make these hard decisions. You cannot sit it out until the end and then come in and lecture us.
A few decades ago a study was conducted to see how many close friends the average American had that they could call in a crisis. The average answer was 3. But by 2004, the most common answer was 0.
Today we dive into an excerpt from the brilliant book “Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression” by Johann Hari
“We are often franker towards others than towards ourselves.” -Nietzsche Honesty is not only a virtue, it’s a tool. Today we get into the usefulness of honesty and how it can improve our future.
We don’t say it but deep down we often secretly believe the devil is our friend. This sets us up for a cycle of impulse, diminishing pleasures and confusion. All based on one massive lie.
"I have been through many terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."
-Mark Twain
Of all our destructive impulses perhaps the deepest is the desire to play god. This shows itself in many different ways but the most common way for me is worry. To worry is pretend to control.
Have you ever tried to improve your life just to find that part of your subconscious is undermining your efforts? Today we dive into a great piece by Psychology Today on the hidden rationality which underlies the destructive impulse of self sabotage and how we might overcome it.
“When men choose not to believe in God, they do not thereafter believe in nothing, they believe in anything.”
-G.K. Chesterton
As riots take over Kenosha WI, a 17 year old Kyle Rittenhouse took to the streets. Two narratives emerged which, in my opinion are both wrong.
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Break the cycle.
Email me at zachrudolph33@yahoo.com
It’s easy to feel trapped between our inner cynicism and baseless ideas of “self love”. But what if good really does exist? What if we can quiet the internal critic without living in denial?
We are always told if only we had better options, everything would be fixed. But this ignores human nature.
In a world where we see hundreds of people show off their lives every single day, how do we enjoy ours? Today we discuss how to reduce the fear of missing out.
What has fear cost you?
Wherever you look right now in our society one thing is consistent: we are all plagued by fear. But fear has a cost.
Fear has cost me so much. So much peace. So much joy. It’s a silent thief that quietly drains every moment of it's beauty but we tolerate it because it’s familiar. How do we break that miserable comfort zone? Today on Not A Victim.
Today I start with a great piece by Dennis Prager then bring some loosely connected thoughts on the interplay between Goodness, Purity & Cynicism.
Do we really know who we are? Or are we just trying to get by and blend in? Today my good friend Tim Collis contributes his thoughts on the role belief in God plays in knowing our Identity and our destiny.
As mobs tear down statues, we begin to see an ugly reality: Despite killing 100,000,000 people, collectivism is on the rise in America. How could this be? What is it about the modern psyche that finds it's home in such a destructive ideology?
Today on Not A Victim
(Kenosha)
Is BLM really just about making sure African-Americans are treated fairly? or under the mask is there something far bigger at play?
"We dismantle the patriarchy" "We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family" "Freeing ourselves from the tight grip of heteronormative thinking"
Today we look at what animates chaos and what we can do about it.
In today's society Loneliness is an epidemic. One study showed that acute loneliness has the same physical affects as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. What can we do about it? Today we discuss a few ideas.
"How do I stop feeling like everyone hates me? I dunno, I've felt this way for years. I usually end up ignoring people because I'm like "Oh they hate me anyways"...which usually ends up kinda coming true because I end up ignoring them because I'm convinced they hate me when really I guess they end up just feeling like I'm rude, antisocial, and don't really want anything to do with them. And part of me just doesn't want anything to do with them, because, again, I'm convinced everyone just hates me... How do I get over this? I know rationally, sure, no one HATES me. But it just feels that way and I don't know how to go about changing that mentality. How do I get over this?!"
ToughQuestions
As the arrogance of modernity replaces the wisdom of history, so to; does the belief that "humanity is basically good" start to replace the Judeo-Christian reality that to human nature, evil is inherent.
Source: The Rational Bible: Genesis by Dennis Prager
Buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Rational-Bible-Genesis-Dennis-Prager/dp/1621578984
In the wake of George Floyd's tragic death, Victimhood is seizing the day to make it's grand escalation.
"The biggest threat to marriage isn't divorce, it's discouragement."
You've likely heard the stat "50% of all marriages end in Divorce" but is that even true? Recent research by Shaunti Feldhahn challenges this widely touted fact in her new book "The Good News About Marriage".
Buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Marriage-Discouraging/dp/1601425627
This week i respond to a question from Michael Malice's show "Your Welcome" about why the left dominates the entertainment industry in America.
What do you do when you have everything the world says you should want and none of it brings you happiness? Today we're starting a new series answering these questions.
Sometimes we get really hurt and insulate ourselves. But soon that cocoon turns into a prison. Today we dig deeper into the underlying beliefs that keep us trapped and what can be done to leave them behind.
Email me your feedback: zachrudolph33@yahoo.com
Discouragement and Confusion become a cycle that can be extremely hard to leave. Today we discuss a few things we can do to break that destructive pattern.
TAKE THE TEST: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
EMAIL ME YOUR FEEDBACK: zachrudolph33@yahoo.com
*After looking into several i chose to go with this personality test as it seems to be the best mixture of Accuracy and Simplicity.
"Most people live lives of quiet desperation."
Discouragement hits all of us. When plans and dreams fall apart it can be so devastating that hope starts to seem like a risk. But it's a worthy risk. Every day we must decide whether we are going to live with hope or merely go through life managing our decline. I choose to hope.
"life shrinks or expands in direct proportion to one's courage."
As the world around us gives into hysteria it is especially important for us not to bend the knee.
Sources: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/07/coronavirus-reasons-to-be-reassured
https://upnorthlive.com/news/local/coronavirus-vs-swine-flu-the-numbers
For much of my life I lived in a cycle of having too much pride and then too much guilt. But how should it be? What's the proper place of guilt?
I once heard someone say "the only time people really change are near death experiences and in 12 step programs." Today me and my dad explore the 12 steps and the timeless wisdom that has helped so many millions leave their past behind.
From isolation and shame to losing over 100lbs and gaining a new perspective on life. Today on #NotAVictimPodcast is the story of my friend Brandon Chambers.
Depression. How do find ourselves in it? More importantly, how do we get out? This month I sit down with new friend and old acquaintance, Jacob Moore to discuss how depression slowly found it's way into our lives and the long journey to leaving it behind.
Check out his blog at betterthandepression.com
Whenever we exploit ourselves and others; joy, happiness, & the color of life begins to die. Conversely, whenever we minimize exploitation those things start springing back to life. Even the atheist experiences this. For this reason; I believe the bible’s call to sexual purity is not to create shame... but rather, to explain why it’s already there and how to walk out of it.
Dewayne Washington shares his journey from fatherless, to running an organization which teaches boys how to be men.
p.s. I've decided to re-release this episode because it's one of my favorites and I wanted to give it a bit more spotlight! .
p.s.s. I'm working on 3 new episodes as we speak and will be releasing them soon! Love you guys!
An Excerpt from “The Rational Bible” Vol. 1 | Exodus by Dennis Prager
Purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/Rational-Bible-Exodus-Dennis-Prager/dp/1621577724/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=the+rational+bible+dennis+prager&qid=1561492568&s=gateway&sprefix=the+rational+&sr=8-2
Today on Not A Victim Jenn Clark shares her journey through abuse, addiction, loss, & redemption.
What do you do when you can’t feel anything? This is a quick conversation i had with my dad on that subject.
(P.S. Sorry for the audio quality) (P.S.S. Going to be uploading a lot of often moving forward)
Why do we live in miserable comfort zones? What makes them appealing? Here's what it was for me.
P.S. I JUST GOT MARRIED SO I'VE BEEN MIA HOWEVER, NEW FULL EPISODES SOOON!
Today my new friend Jeromy Marsh shares his story of dysfuction, addiction, incarceration, and redemption.
Our need for approval never turns off.
Full episode coming this Tuesday
NotAVictimPodcast
In light of the recent controversy within the Methodist community; i thought it might be fitting to share my conversation with Daniel Mattson, author of the book: “Why I Don’t Call Myself Gay: How I Reclaimed My Sexual Reality and Found Peace”. Daniel's story is eye opening, controversial, and incredibly honest. it was an honor to speak with him.
Purchase his book: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Dont-Call-Myself-Gay/dp/1621640728
(this interview originally aired last July)
Today on #NotAVictimPodcast Grayson Norris shares his story of dysfunction, addiction, relapse, & hope.
If you have any comments, need to talk to someone, or you'd like to suggest a guest; you can email me directly at zachrudolph33@gmail.com
We have a lot planned for 2019 and if you know someone who may be blessed by these stories please share this with them! word of mouth is the most valuable asset for expanding our reach!
Love you guys!
America knows only one solution to depression: pills. but what if it's not that simple? what if your fate isn't predestined by the malfunctioning of your brain? what if there are real cures for the pain we experience?
Johann Hari author of; "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions" & Jordan B. Peterson author of "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos" address this topic.
Purchase Lost Connections: https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/163286830X
Purchase 12 Rules for Life: https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021
Sources: https://youtu.be/bC2Na1E3iVg
https://youtu.be/hIynYIMS9Ec
https://youtu.be/6c9Uu5eILZ8
Today on #NotAVictim my new friend Joey Green shares the his upbringing, his journey through addiction; and how his walk with God has changed along the way.
WE'RE BACK! This week on Not A Victim; Rob Raynor shares his journey from Mayberry, to drugs, to 43 years as a husband and Pastor.
Rob is the senior pastor at Lakepoint Community Church in Lake Oconee Georgia. he's been married 43 years to his wife Joann and has 11 Grandkids.
Hey guys! Over the next few weeks I’m going to be sharing some songs i’ve written over the past few years and the stories behind them in preparation for the release of new music... I hope they speak to you.
This week: I Won’t Wait
Hey guys! Over the next few weeks I’m going to be sharing some songs i’ve written over the past few years and the stories behind them in preparation for the release of new music... I hope they speak to you.
First up, Missed You All Along from the album ‘Glass Mountain’
This week I speak with the author of the book, “Why I Don’t Call Myself Gay: How I Reclaimed My Sexual Reality and Found Peace”. Daniel is a person of extreme integrity and it was an honor to speak with him. it took some jumping through hoops to get him on but it was definitely worth it.
Check out his book: https://goo.gl/yqzX26
This week on Not A Victim Annie Wood shares her incredible story of pain, abuse & near death experiences and how her personal tragedies have been able to inspire hope.
This week on Not A Victim my longtime friend and mentor Tim Collis shares his incredible story of pain, dysfunction, and hope.
This week on Not A Victim Michelle Howington joins me to share her story!
Outro song: “I Tried To Do the Right Thing” by Children 18:3
Ashley York was born into chaos and she lived in it for many years... this week on Not A Victim she shares her journey out of shame and into hope.
Andrew Schwab is the frontman of legendary hardcore band Project 86 and author of several books including "Fame is Infamy" and "The Tin Soldiers".
Project 86 has sold over 500,000 units and spent time on Tooth & Nail records as well as Atlantic Records. their new album "Sheep Among Wolves" is available everywhere music is sold.
This week on Not A Victim I speak with Free Chapel Young Adult pastor Timothy Price about his upbring, his addiction, and his road to living healthy.
He's been broke, he's been rich and now he spends his days turning young men into gentlemen.
Intro music: "Caught in the Middle" by Wavorly Outro music: "I Tried to Do the Right Thing" by Children 18:3
Today on Not A Victim Dena Crane shares her incredible story of addiction and recovery.
This week i spoke with a longtime friend of mine Don Raley about growing up an outsider, abuse and how God is using him to reach at risk youth.
This week my new friend Richard Allen shares his story of being raised in an atheistic home and his journey of meeting and walking with God.
Also, we didn't get into it much but richard has a book! check it out at http://www.theallenhub.com
We're back! this week is a bit shorter than normal (i met jenna at her work and we didn't end up getting to all the questions) that said, my new friend Jenna Werner shares her story and i think it may bless you.
This week on Not A Victim i speak with my friend Matt Mosley about his volatile upbringing, wrestling addiction, his journey of change and codependency.
This week on Not A Victim i got to speak with Curry Haynes... Curry is the recipient of the most Purple Heart awards of anyone in history due to what he experienced in Vietnam... he shares his story of being in combat, facing his addiction and how he's seen God's hand at work in his life.
This week my friend Lisa Marie Cronic shares her story of addiction, abuse, loss and redemption.
This week my friend Tim Ferguson shares his story of isolation, addiction and his journey to living healthy...
Welcome to the very first episode of Not A Victim! this week we talk to Bill Barnes who, at 18 was sentenced to life if prison... he shares his story and how he found redemption.
Fear, it's always been my scapegoat to hide from my reality... cynicism has been my go to friend, he keeps me from having to change... but recently i got to a place where i've spent long enough afraid, long enough waiting for someone else to fix things, long enough to be done wishing it were different. i don't know where this will go. i don't know how i'm gonna book and record this thing every week. i don't know if she'll ever care. all i know is, i can't keep living reactive.