Adoptees On: Recent Episodes
Haley Radke
The podcast where adoptees discuss the adoption experience. This is not the usual adoption talk. You will find real, raw, and deep feelings addressed in these interviews. No sugar-coating here! Come and laugh, cry, learn and heal with us.
Adult adoptees share stories of search, reunion, and secondary rejection. Adoptees On also curates recommended resources to encourage and educate the adoption community about adoptee issues.
328 | 10 Years of Adoptees On with Haley Radke, Sullivan Summer, and Kristal Parke
I'm the creator and host of this show, which aired it's first episode on July 1, 2016, a full decade ago! When I started Adoptees On all those years ago, my teens were a toddler and a preschooler and I podcasted in a corner of my basement with a laundry rack behind me that I'd toss a quilt overtop of for better sound quality. I had met a few adoptees on twitter and I wanted to have more in depth conversations about reunion, grief, mental health, identity and healing. I just didn't know that thousands of you wanted that too. Thank you for building this show with me. This milestone moment is for every single guest who trusted me with their stories, every listener who felt seen while listening, and all the folks who have supported the show via Patreon, sharing episodes with a friend, or leaving me comments or reviews. I am so honoured to be in community with all of you. Thank you!
Today I've invited a couple of friends to turn the microphone on me, and we run the gauntlet of tears to laughter in a very short time, I hope you enjoy! Sullivan Summer and Kristal Parke of Adoption Pop! are here to celebrate ten incredible years with us today!
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
327 | Beth Yu Simpson, MSW, LICSW
On today's episode I'm in conversation with Beth Yu Simpson: a therapist, educator, and founder of AIRE Roots. Beth shares how mentorship, community-building, and her own lived experience as a Korean adoptee have shaped her work, including her focus on ancestral healing and adoptee-centered care. We also dig into the gaps in social work education around adoption and what meaningful change could look like.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
326 | Sun Yung Shin
My guest today is Sun Yung Shin, poet and author of the new book Heart Eater: A Memoir of Immigration, Belonging, and How We Find Ourselves in Language. Sun Yung's work examines the complexities of transracial and transnational adoption, identity, and the limits of what some adoptees can ever truly know about their origins. We discuss some of the pressures adoptees carry to make sense of their stories, and why we need to move beyond the expected search-and-reunion narrative.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
325 | [Healing Series] Narcissism in Adoptive Parents with Katy Perkins, LICSW-S
This is a special episode in our healing series where I interview therapists who are also adoptees themselves, so they know from personal experience what it feels like to be an adoptee. Today we are joined by Katy Perkins to talk about a hot topic in our community, narcissism in adoptive parents. We talk about what it would have looked like to grow up in a family with a narcissistic parent or one with narcissistic tendencies, the impact it could have had on us as kids and now into adulthood. I was fascinated by everything Katy had to share in this conversation and I hope it's helpful for you!
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
324 | Diana
On today's episode we are welcoming Diana to the show to share her story of being adopted from Russia at age two. Diana unpacks how early separation, institutional care and adoption shaped her mental health and sense of identity. This episode has mentions of childhood sexual assault, suicidal ideation and disordered eating. Please take care when deciding to listen.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
323 | Lisa Olivera, MFT
So honoured to welcome back Lisa Olivera, MFT to explore her new book When the Ache Remains. Lisa shares how becoming a mother has brought up new layers of both loss and connection, and we both open up about recent, painful relationship ruptures.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
322 | Monique Pangari, MEd, SEP
I'm so excited to introduce you to today's guest, Australian adoptee and somatic psychotherapist, Monique Pangari. Monique shares about her experiences as a teen mom, what lead her to search for her origins, and how she discovered the man she believed was her father was not biologically related to her. She also reflects on how her lived experience shapes her work supporting adoptees including the concept of personal sovereignty. - I apologize, I inadvertently left off a verbal content warning; this episode has mentions of suicidal ideation, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. Please take care when deciding to listen. *
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
321 | David McCarty-Caplan, Ph.D.
Today's guest is Dr. David McCarty-Caplan, a researcher, consultant and a Colombian-born adoptee. After becoming a father himself, David began searching for his biological family, leading to a reunion with his mother and siblings in Colombia — an experience that deepened both his personal journey and his professional research. We talk about his scholarship, including how families and communities can better support adoptees in developing a stronger sense of belonging.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
320 | Erick Wolfmeyer
Today's guest is Erick Wolfmeyer, a contemporary quilt artist known for his bold, large-scale textile works. Erick shares his experiences of being relinquished twice by his mother, their fraught reunion, and the DNA discovery that upended his identity yet again.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
319 | Kristina Richie
Today's guest is Kristina Richie, TikTokker and author of Unraveling Adoption: Weaving Between Two Worlds. She shares some of her story with us, including how her birth mother gained custody of her when Kristina was 16 years old. We talk about how the secrets in her adoptive home shaped her identity, future romantic relationships and attachment patterns. We do mention suicidal ideation and suicide at a few different points during this conversation so please take care when listening
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
318 | Diego Vitelli, LMFT
Today I'm joined by Diego Vitelli, a Colombian adoptee and adoptee-focused therapist. Diego shares his own adoption story with us, including what it has looked like for him to have been assigned an artificial date of birth. We also talk about the accuracy of using terms like "reunion" and "adoption trauma".
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
317 | Kailee Pedersen
Today's guest is the multifaceted Kailee Pedersen: from software engineer to opera singer to novelist! Kailee shares about being adopted from China, growing up in Nebraska, navigating racial isolation and the complexities of searching for family across borders and systems. We also talk about her debut gothic horror novel Sacrificial Animals—how family legacy and intergenerational trauma show up on the page—and her upcoming novel The Minimalist, which features adoptee characters. There is one brief mention of suicide in our conversation.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
316 | Jennifer Lauck
Today we are honoured to have with us New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Lauck, whose memoirs have shaped how so many understand the adoptee experience. Her landmark book Blackbird is celebrating its 25th-anniversary edition this year. In our conversation we talk about Jennifer's childhood, how she first met Nancy Verrier, and her synchronicities in her reunion with her birthmother, Catherine Diane. We mention abuse at multiple times during this conversation, including sexual abuse, so please take care when listening.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
315 | Alé Cardinalle, MSW
Today's guest is Alé Cardinalle, an adoptee advocate who has taught millions of people on TikTok about the complexities of adoption. We talk about what reunion is like when it's international and everyone speaks a different language. One of my favourite things about Alé is how much she loves her adoptive parents, she will loudly say how she had a privileged, love-filled life and even with all of those positives, adoption is still a trauma and has deeply impacted her. We also talk about pregnancy loss and how Alé's experiences make her uniquely suited to talk with empathy to hopeful adoptive parents.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
314 | Nik Chang Hoon
Today's guest is memoirist and poet, Nik Chang Hoon. Nik shares his journey of identity and language reclamation, including returning to Korea and reuniting with his birth mother in secret. We also talk about estrangement, healing, and his powerful writing that invites us to look deeper at the pain and resilience of finding one's place between families and cultures.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
313 | Molly Gaudry
Today's guest is Molly Gaudry, author of Fit Into Me: A Novel A Memoir. This interview is one of the first ever Molly has given surrounding her adoptee identity. Relatable to anyone who has contradictory or missing narratives in their origin stories, Molly shares the complexities of using literary defense mechanisms in her writing to push readers away from her personal truth. We also talk about her brain injury and recovery, how that physical vulnerability and even intimacy sometimes felt safer to share about than her adoption experience.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Bonus | Adoptees for Family Preservation
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
312 | Lynelle Long
Lynelle Long has been an adoptee advocate for nearly thirty years. The founder of Inter-Country Adoptee Voices (ICAV) Lynelle has built a network of thousands of adoptees around the world to both connect with each other and to effect change at each level of government, as high up as the United Nations. Today we get to hear some of her personal story, including her choice to have her adoption discharged in 2022, and about her role as an active observer to the Hague Convention. Lynelle also has some advice to adoptee advocates for our efficacy and longevity in adoption reform spaces. We do mention sexual abuse at a couple of points in this conversation, so please take care when listening.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! Find out more about Adoptees for Family Preservation here! Support Haley's new podcast here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
311 | Sasha Hom
Sasha Hom lives an extraordinarily unconventional life. I'm so excited to introduce her to you. She's a writer, goat farmer, mother, and her new book Sidework is incredible. Today we talk about her experiences as a Korean adoptee, adopted to a Chinese American couple in California. Sasha tells us about her trips to Korea and China, we talk motherhood as adoptees, and how important writing is in her life.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
310 | Mirella Stoyanova
Mirella Stoyanova is our guest today, and I don't normally say this, but this was one of my favourite conversations in recent memory. Mirella is a therapist and writer, and her insights dazzled me. We talk about her experience being adopted at age 5, and what coming to America from Bulgaria was like. We discussed the what-ifs of kinship adoption, living in the both/and of grief and gratitude, and she shares an insight that stops me in my tracks: do adoptees reflect an existential crisis back to society?
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
309 | Megan Hunter, MBA
It’s such an honour to bring you today’s guest, Megan Hunter, MBA. Megan is known as the Conflict Influencer, and is the co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. We get to know Megan’s personal story today, including her reunion story. Megan shares about how she first connected with her birthmother, about a gut-wrenching experience with her biological father that resurfaced an adoptee wound, and she offers us advice in navigating new reunion relationships, including both the complex and the beautiful sides.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
308 | Alexandra Mann
Who among us doesn’t love a good movie? And how many times have you been watching a film and, jump scare, some terrible adoptee trope comes out of nowhere. Today’s guest, Alexandra Mann had that happen one too many times and what grew out of that all too common adoptee misrepresentation in the media, was the Adoptee Film Fest which is now in it’s second year (spotlighting adoptee filmmakers, telling adoptee stories). Alexandra shares about her personal story as a domestic, transracial adoptee from Hong Kong, and how therapy preserved her relationship with her adoptive parents after a giant secret came to light. We do have a mention of suicidal ideation in this conversation so please listen with care.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
307 | [Healing Series] The Nothing Place with Pam Cordano, MFT
I’m so glad to be back with you after our summer break! Today’s episode is a special episode in our Healing Series that truthfully I’ve been scared to do and I’ve intentionally been waiting to do because of this fear. This concept has been on my show topic list for several years, ever since I heard the words, “The Nothing Place”, for the first time. I believe that naming and describing this idea to you could be so deeply helpful for adoptees that we just have to go there today. This could potentially break open a block we’ve had in describing the true complexities and impact adoption separation has on us. Pam Cordano, MFT, one of our favourite adoptee therapists is here to tell us about The Nothing Place, the glaring gaps in attachment theory that don’t address adoptees’ very real separation trauma, and how examining this part of us can unlock a new sense of grounding and belonging that we haven’t been able to access before.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
306 | [Healing Series] Money and Worth with Marta Isabella Sierra Cifuentes, LMHC
For our last episode before our summer break, we’re talking about adoptees and money! Marta Isabella Sierra Cifuentes, LMHC is back and teaching us all about money, worthiness, the obvious commodification of children, the basics. Marta said it best in this episode, ”if you're adopted, it's not even about the money. It's about belonging, respect, feeling seen, feeling acknowledged, mattering to the other people and equality.”
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
305 | Maria Diemar and Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom
We have two incredible adoptee activists with us today. Maria Diemar and Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom, both adopted in Sweden, joined up to elevate adoptee causes in some very impactful ways. Maria is the subject of Lisa’s latest graphic novel, The Excavated Earth, which exposes a horrific story of how thousands of Chilean babies were literally kidnapped and stolen to be sold for adoption to Sweden and many other countries. You won’t believe some of the shocking details that Maria and Lisa share with us today. Lisa also shares a few thoughts with us on the findings of the South Korean Truth and Reconciliation Commission.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
304 | Dr. Michele Merritt
Today’s guest is Dr. Michele Merritt - a philosophy professor who’s coined the new term Adoptism to describe the ways adoptees are marginalized. Michele shares some of her personal story, including the curiosity she always had about where she came from. We discuss what led her to start critiquing adoption publicly and the barriers to publishing these critiques that some academic journals put in place, like the classic, “I know one adoptee and they don’t feel that way”. We do mention suicide during this conversation, so please take care when deciding if this a safe episode for you to listen to.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
303 | Craig Mod
Craig Mod the author of Things Become Other Things: A Walking Memoir joins us to share his story. We deep dive into Craig’s recent reunion with his birthmother including the complexities of searching in the digital age when so much of our information is publicly available. Being fairly new to adoptee-land, Craig also gave Haley a chance to talk through some of the things that complicate the usual sunshine and rainbows view of adoption. Update - Craig will join us for our July book club when we will be reading Things Become Other Things. We do make reference to sexual assault briefly at a couple of different points during this episode, so please take care when deciding if this a safe episode for you to listen to.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
302 | greiby medina
Today we’re pleased to introduce you to greiby medina, author of The One Who Loves You the Most. greiby was adopted from Honduras at age two-and-a-half to a single white mother. We discuss changing names, why greiby is not a fan of the term “coming out of the fog”, and being afraid people won’t like us because we’re adopted.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
301 | [Healing Series] Wounds of Childhood with Anna Linde, Sexologist
This is a special episode in our Healing Series where we bring on adoptee experts to tackle issues that may impact our mental health. Most often we’re talking with therapists but today I invited Anna Linde, a sexologist, to talk with us about the impacts of childhood sexual abuse on adopted people. This issue is so prevalent in our community and yet hardly anyone ever talks about it. We’ve talked about so many difficult things on the show that I think we’re finally ready. So although we do keep this to a high level discussion, please take care when deciding if this a safe episode for you to listen to.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
300 | Haley's Sisters
We’ve reached our 300th episode! I found my paternal side of my family 14 years ago, and I discovered that I had three younger siblings. So even though I’m the only adoptee on today’s show, I thought you’d enjoy this peek behind the curtain, exploring what was it like for my young sisters when they were told at age 9 and 12, that they had a surprise older sister.
Full Show Notes and Transcript Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
299 | Dr. Abby Hasberry
I’m so excited to welcome Dr. Abby Hasberry back to the show today! We are celebrating her brand new book, Adopting Privilege: A Memoir of Reinventing My Adoptee Narrative. Abby is a therapist, a scholar, an adoptee and a birth mother. We get into all of it: coercion in adoption, parenting after placing a child for adoption, reunion from both sides, we even talk about sororities! Abby also addresses why so many adoptees go on to place a child for adoption themselves.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
298 | Kit Myers
We’ve been waiting several years to have today’s guest on, and when better then to celebrate his brand new book! Professor and critical adoption scholar Kit Myers is with us to talk about his new book, The Violence of Love: Race, Family, and Adoption in the United States. Kit is an adoptee from Hong Kong, and he shares some of his personal story including a recent reunion he got to experience a couple of months ago. We also dive into culture camps and what happened when society tried to “destigmatize adoption” for the sake of adoptive parents.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
297 | Adé Carrena
I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone on the show that shares today’s guest’s profession! I’m thrilled to introduce you to Chef Adé Carrena, she’s the subject of a beautiful new documentary called Bite of Benin. Adé is passionate about using food as a storytelling tool and has worked to bring West African flavours and spices to a global audience. She shares some of her personal story with us today, including being taken at age ten to the United States with her sister to be adopted. We do mention some difficult topics in this episode, so take good care when deciding to listen.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
296 | Connor Howe
I’m so excited to introduce you to our guest today! We are talking all about open adoption with Connor Howe, who probably already know as adopted_connor from his many videos online. We talk about his personal story, including what it’s like to grow up with a sibling that is your adoptive parents’ biological child. We also discuss what lead Connor to get in front of the camera to critique adoption in such a public way.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
295 | Lee Herrick
We are starting the year off with such a delight, Lee Herrick, the California Poet Laureate, joins us today! Lee recently released his latest poetry collection, In Praise of Late Wonder, which is focused fully on the topic of adoption. Today we talk about what it means to feel significant as an adoptee, why writing prose felt a little more comfortable than a whole memoir, and we word nerd out a little on crosswords and wordplay.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
294 | Kathy Mackechney, LCSW
We are doing a hybrid Healing Series episode with adoptee and adoptee therapist, Kathy Mackechney, LCSW. Kathy shares part of her story with us, including how she was prepared for rejection during her reunions, but was instead surprised by eager acceptance. Getting into the therapy of it all, Kathy is an Internal Family Systems practitioner and has developed the idea that not all of our parts get adopted. We unpack what that means, including that somewhere inside us we can access who we may have been, had we not been separated from our original families. Kathy is one of the first, if not the first, adoptee therapist(s) to have an entire chapter published in a clinical text that focuses on how to work with adoptees - it’s literally the chapter we should assign our therapists to read!
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
293 | Dr. Julie Lopez
This is a special episode in our healing series where I interview therapists who are also adoptees themselves, so they know from personal experience what it feels like to be an adoptee. Today I’m so pleased to welcome back Dr. Julie Lopez, author of Live Empowered! We are talking all about how labels can be highly problematic for adoptees. We discuss how nonsensical the term “reactive attachment disorder” is when in fact most of us are just having perfectly normal reactions to an abnormal situation. Dr. Julie is an expert in implicit memory continues to inspire us that change and growth is always achievable and how we can access our pre-verbal traumas.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
292 | Shelby Redfield Kilgore
Shelby Redfield Kilgore is a Korean adoptee and filmmaker. You can watch her documentaries and videos on YouTube alongside 800,000 other folks who’ve already had the pleasure. We talk about Shelby’s passion for sharing adoptee stories and how that shifted in tone over the years. We also talk about her health struggles and the impacts those have had on her reunions and motherhood.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
291 | Kae Wangare Leonard
Today we welcome Kae Wangare Leonard to the show. Kae is a writer, athlete and artist, born and adopted in Kenya by white Americans. She shares some of her story with us, including what does home mean when you’ve lived in multiple countries. We discuss what it means to be an adoption abolitionist, and we have a little disagreement whether Kae’s art, poetry and prose is therapeutic or not!
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
290 | Kristal Parke
Today’s guest is filmmaker and fellow podcaster, and fellow Canadian, Kristal Parke! Kristal is the subject of the documentary, Because She’s Adopted. Today Kristal shares some of her story with us including her non-paternal realization, her road to sobriety, her visits back to the Opaskwayak Cree Nation in Manitoba, and meeting many of her biological family members, including her biological father.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
289 | Bruce Porth Part 2
Today is part two of a two-part episode that we began last week, with our friend Bruce Porth. Today we talk a little more about reunion and what it looks like when someone is being dishonest with you, and also about using breathwork and psychedelics as healing modalities. Have you ever met one of those people that when they speak you just have to listen to every word? Bruce is one of those people for me. We hope you enjoy getting to know him better with us.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
288 | Bruce Porth Part 1
We are so fortunate to hear from Bruce Porth today; he is one of those people that only speaks when he’s got something thoughtful and insightful to share, and today’s conversation is no exception. Bruce shares about his childhood, some difficult relationship circumstances, his path to uncovering the impact adoption and family separation had on his life, and what reunion has looked like. This is part one of two, and don’t worry, next week we’ll release part two where Bruce shares more about the healing modalities he’s used, including breathwork and psychedelics.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
287 | Ande Stanley
On today’s show we’re welcoming Ande Stanley, creator and host of the podcast, The Adoption Files. Ande is a late discovery adoptee, only finding out accidentally when they were in their thirties. We talk about how that happened, and the reactions of adoptive family members to Ande finally being in on the secret everyone knew but them. We also discuss how Ande found their way to the adoptee community and how some initial bad interactions, instead of deterring them, instead lead the way to Ande becoming a community builder.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
286 | Grace Newton, MSW
Today’s guest is Grace Newton, MSW, a Chinese adoptee, author of the prolific blog, Red Thread Broken, and one of the co-authors of the Adoptee Consciousness Model. We discuss the reasons for the rise and fall of international adoption from China, and how the critical adoption scholarship of Chinese adoptees is on the rise, including Grace’s own contributions. Grace also gets more personal, sharing about her relationship with her Chinese American fiancé and how their love story and family have helped her on her racial reclamation journey.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
285 | [Healing Series] The Seven Insights into Adoptee Attachment with Pam Cordano, MFT
Today’s episode is a special episode in our Healing Series, where I interview therapists who are also adoptees themselves, so they know from personal experience what it feels like to be an adoptee. We’re joined by Pam Cordano, MFT, talking all about the seven challenges of adoptee attachment, which include profound ongoing chronic misattunement, disconnection from our instincts, and commodification.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
284 | Dr. Alice Diver
Today’s guest is the remarkable Dr. Alice Diver, law professor and outspoken adoptee advocate. Alice has written multiple journal articles and books on the topic of adoptee rights, including her latest, Genetic Stigma in Law and Literature: Orphanhood, Adoption, and the Right to Reunion. Alice shares some of her personal story with us, and then we dive into her work including language in adoption, where you’ll hear such gems as “surplus people” and “substitute families”. We also get to talk about how adoptees are viewed by the law in comparison with adoptive parents.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
283 | Cam Lee Small, MS, LPCC
We have a returning guest, adoptee therapist Cam Lee Small back with us today. Cam has a brand new book out, The Adoptee’s Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment, published by a faith-based press. I recently got to meet Cam in real life, and he’s just as warm and genuine as he appears on the Internet. In our conversation today, Cam and I talk about how most churches have majorly missed the mark in serving adoptees, we address how “gotcha day” misses the “lost-ya day” and the grief of adoption. One of my favourite things Cam shares in his book, and we do address it today, is that just being an adopted person take an extraordinary amount of cognitive and emotional bandwidth.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
282 | Alison Larkin
Alison Larkin is here today, and we are so so honoured to have her with us. It’s likely a lot of you already know Alison, but for those who are new to her, she is a stand-up comedian, voice artist, audiobook narrator, actress, producer, screenwriter, and bestselling author of The English American. Today we get to hear her story which includes reunions with both birth parents, seeking out a therapist after meeting Nancy Verrier, and how she finally came to truly fall in love in her fifties only to have her fiancé die suddenly during the pandemic. Alison recounts this in her brand new one-woman show, called Grief…A Comedy which is embarking on a world tour this summer.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
281 | Janet Sherlund
Today we’re welcoming Janet Sherlund to the show! Janet is the author of the brand new memoir, Abandoned at Birth: Searching for the Arms that Once Held Me. Janet shares some of her story with us, including her challenging relationship with her adoptive mother, her struggles with anxiety, and the reason she finally felt free to write her memoir.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
280 | Svetlana Sandoval
We’re back, and I’m sick again, and my voice is only going to be like this for the intro because luckily I was healthy when I interviewed this week’s guest, Svetlana Sandoval. Svetlana is an international adoptee, adopted from Russia at about six months old. We talk about what sparked an interest to search for her biological family, how she navigated the language barriers using technology and a friend of a friend. Svetlana also shares about her decision to reclaim her original name. Due to the sensitive nature of her reunion during the war, she will not be commenting directly on the conflict.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
279 | Reshma McClintock
Oh it is such a delight to get to share this interview with you. Reshma McClintock, the producer and subject of the film Calcutta is My Mother is back with us today. Reshma is a transracial adoptee from Calcutta, India, and this incredible film documents her return to Calcutta for the first time since her adoption, and she would tell you that it also depicts a portion of her journey “out of the fog”. I received permission to share the audio from her trailer, and I’m going to play that for you here, just before we get into the conversation about her story, some of her experiences in Calcutta, and some tips for transnational adoptees about preparing for a home country visit. We also get to talk about her upcoming documentary screening in Minneapolis, Minnesota on May 4, 2024. I get the honour of hosting the Q&A for that event, so consider this my personal invite to you to come and join us to see the film and hang out with some fellow adoptees!
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
278 | Adrian Wills
Today’s guest is fellow Canadian, award-winning director and filmmaker, Adrian Wills. Adrian has a brand new documentary out called A Quiet Girl where get to follow his journey of a public search for his birth mother, and experience every new discovery along with him. Today we talk with Adrian about how his friends prompted his search and what he’s discovered about the people of Newfoundland through his time there. We also discuss how we often create these mythical personas of our biological parents from a few short sentences in our non-identifying adoption information.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
277 | John Gallaher, Ph.D.
You’re in for a treat today, we have award-winning poet John Gallaher with us! John’s newest poetry collection, My Life in Brutalist Architecture releases this month and it’s his first collection focused in on his experience as an adopted person. Even though he was a kinship adoptee, he still had to take a DNA test to find the family he was searching for. We talk about DNA, nature versus nurture, his search for the other John Gallahers of the world and what reunion really looks like for him right now.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
276 | Sanjay Pulver
Today’s guest is Sanjay Pulver, an Indian adoptee who has become an outspoken adoptee advocate in recent years. We talk about the complexities of being adopted from an orphanage in a country that is not currently safe for him to return to as a queer trans man. We discuss the intersections between being transnationally and transracially adopted with being a trans person and Sanjay also shares about his experience with somatic therapy.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
275 | Sara Docan-Morgan, Ph.D.
Today’s guest is Dr. Sara Docan-Morgan, professor of communication studies and author of the book “In Reunion: Transnational Korean Adoptees and the Communication of Family”. Sara shares some of her personal story, and then we dig into her qualitative research from multiple Korean adoptees who have been in a relationship with their biological family for over a decade. There’s a treasure trove of reunion wisdom in this episode, including a new term that so perfectly encapsulates the weight adoptees carry through the search and reunion experience.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
If you'd like to be involved in the new show, you can email adopteesonadoption(at)gmail(dot)com with your skills pitch. Are you an audio producer? Investigative reporter? Narrative podcaster? I'd love to hear what you've got to bring to the table.
Follow updates here: https://www.instagram.com/onadoption
274 | Julian Washio-Collette
Today’s guest is Julian Washio-Collette, a writer and monastic spiritual seeker, whose story includes the rarity of being relinquished and adopted twice. Julian shares what he hears when someone says the term “forever family”, how building community was difficult here when seemingly no one else has had the same experience of being a double-adoptee, and we ponder what the spiritual implications of adoption may mean.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
273 | SunAh Laybourn, Ph.D.
We are so excited to welcome professor and sociologist Dr. SunAh Laybourn today! Sunah’s brand new book is called Out of Place: The Lives of Korean Adoptee Immigrants and it is definitely one you’re going to want to add into your collection. Today we talk about SunAh’s research, the realization that heritage culture camps are prioritizing adoptive parents’ comfort, and the public’s perception of the still dire issue of adoptee citizenship. Haley finally gets to ask the question she’s wondered about for at least five years: is being an adopted person a distinct culture of its own?
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
272 | James Cagney
Today’s guest is award-winning poet, James Cagney. Author of Black Steel Magnolias in the Hour of Chaos Theory and Martian: The Saint of Loneliness, James is known for his absolutely dynamic live poetry readings, and we are honoured with a reading in this very episode! We discuss how James came to find out he was adopted, and as usual we’ve got questions about why parents keep these things a secret.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
271 | Healing Series: Ask an Adoptee Therapist with Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC
Today’s episode is our last one before our holiday break. We’ll be back with brand-new weekly episodes on January 12, 2024. We wanted to bring you a Healing Series episode to make sure we all had a little extra support before the holiday rush takes over. This year we started a brand new event called Ask an Adoptee therapist, and it has been an absolutely amazing resource for the community. Today’s episode is a compilation of some of the helpful conversations we’ve had together this fall with Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
270 | Sara Easterly
Sara Easterly is back with us, she’s the author of Searching for Mom and the founder of Adoptee Voices. Today we’re talking about how Sara became friends with an adoptive mother and a birth mother in order to write a book called Adoption Unfiltered. It’s a hard conversation because when Haley got asked to endorse this book she had to say no, to a friend, who we value and deeply appreciate for her contributions to the adoptee community. So we got together to talk about it. We address the power dynamics when interacting with adoptive parents, we talk about whether or not adoption really is always going to be around, and what adoptive parents need to be doing now that they know they participated in a terrible system.
Full Show Notes Here Join our community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
269 | Dr. Liz DeBetta
Today we welcome back Dr. Liz DeBetta, author of Adult Adoptees and Writing to Heal: Migrating Toward Wholeness. Liz shares some reunion updates with us, including some very sad news about her sister. We discuss what lead her to choose to remain childfree. And of course, we talk about how writing, re-writing and examining the stories that have been placed upon us can help reconnect us to ourselves. Today’s episode has mentions of sudden death, abuse and abortion.
Full Show Notes Here Join our adoptee community on Patreon here Check out our upcoming live events here! This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
268 | Kimberly McKee, Ph.D.
We are so excited to host critical adoption studies scholar, Dr. Kimberly McKee. She’s the author of the impactful book Disrupting Kinship, and her brand new release is Adoption Fantasies: The Fetishization of Asian Adoptees from Girlhood to Womanhood. We talk about Kim’s reunion with her family in Korea, where she’s currently living with her young son, and what it’s like parenting through reunification and reculturation. We talk about adoption in pop culture, and how preserving adoptee history and acknowledging the work of those who’ve come before us is vital to community building.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
267 | Jessica Hairston
Today our guest is poet Jessica Hairston, author of Power of Our Wombs. Jessica shares her complex origin story, where both of her biological parents were struggling with addiction when she was born, apprehended and adopted soon after. We talk about “the traveling trauma” that has impacted her family system and the power of the word womb which features prominently in her poetry collection.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
266 | Susan Kiyo Ito
Today’s guest is the indomitable Susan Kiyo Ito. She has been writing, advocating, and leading in the adoptee community for decades and we are all the richer for it. Susan’s brand new memoir, I Would Meet You Anywhere, has just been released and it is fantastic. We talk about how Susan first discovered an adoptee memoir at her local library at age 13, and how that changed the course of her life. We’ve got adoptee activism history, relatable reunion problems, and the power of sharing our adoptee experiences in community all throughout this conversation.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
265 | Louise & Sarah
You might know today’s guests and recognize their voices from their podcast, Adoption: The Making of Me. Louise Browne and Sarah Reinhardt are here! Today we hear about how their friendship started, they dish about some of the fights they’ve had and how they’ve sustained their close friendship. We also talk about all the books they’ve read in community with their audience, and which ones have been most impactful on their understanding of the impact of adoption.
*TW: We mention death by suicide in this episode so please take care when listening.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
264 | Healing Series: Adoptee Remembrance Day
Adoptee Remembrance Day was first commemorated on October 30, 2020. We’ve done a variety of episodes over the last few years beginning in 2020 with an interview with the founder of Adoptee Remembrance Day, Pamela Karanova. We’ve had listeners submit recordings of their thoughts, their poetry and prose. In deciding what to do this year, we were considering what would be most impactful for our community and we chose to do a healing series episode about suicide. This is the thing that we whisper about, we hide, we allude to, we are ashamed of, and we’re getting braver about discussing. We’ve invited Lina Vanegas, MSW, to talk to us about suicide.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
263 | Stefany Valentine - When We Become Ours
Today’s episode is a celebration for When We Become Ours: A YA Adoptee Anthology which releases on October 24, 2023. The first of its kind, edited by Shannon Gibney and Nicole Chung, with fifteen adoptee authors is cause for celebration. We’re going to hear from an emerging author, Stefany Valentine, who shares her story of being adopted at age twelve, while her biological father had a terminal illness. She is the first step-parent adoptee we’ve had on the show. We talk about the lack of consent to her adoption, the cultural losses Stefany suffered, and how it wasn’t until her mid-twenties that she realized her biological mother had been removed from her birth certificate. Next we’re going to hear from five more contributing authors who share about their stories in the collection and what it’s meant for them to be a part of this project.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
262 Healing Series: Difficult Relationships
This is a special episode in our healing series where we talk to adoptees who are also therapists. We’re going to call this episode a sort of “tune-up” for anyone who is in a period of estrangement or separation from a close relationship, whether it's adoptive parents, bio parents, somebody close in your life. We’re talking through some of the things people don't talk about publicly and some things to consider that might be impacting your life and you just don't even realize it till you hear Marta say it out loud! It’s a through-provoking episode and we hope it’ll be helpful for you.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
261 | Lanise Antoine Shelley
Today’s guest is actor, director, playwright and podcaster, Lanise Antoine Shelley. Lanise shares about being adopted from a Haitian orphanage at age 4 by her single white adoptive mother and how exploring the impact of adoption over the last three years has challenged her connections with her adoptive family. Lanise also tells us about when she realized that her removal from Haiti left a huge hole for her entire biological family that was left behind, including her mother and father.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
260 Mike Hoyt
Today’s guest is Mike Hoyt, a remarkable artist and author of the graphic memoir of Hanabata Days. We discuss his reunion and subsequent reunification process with his first father. Mike also shares how reunification has impacted his own identity and that of his daughters’.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Welcome back! Our first episode of Fall 2023 is a sampling of great advice from some of our favourite adoptee therapists about planning a first meeting with biological family, grieving the loss of an adoptive parent, and some relationship topics. Pam Cordano, MFT, Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC, and Lesli A. Johnson, MFT are some of the therapists we’ve hosted on Ask an Adoptee Therapist events for Patreon supporters. We also don’t want you to miss our September book club, we’ll be hosting Mary Gauthier to discuss her book Saved by A Song (September 25, 2023).
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
258 | Nicole Chung
We are so thrilled to welcome Nicole Chung back to the podcast. Nicole’s new memoir, A Living Remedy, is a heartbreaking pilgrimage where we walk with her through her grief in losing both of her adoptive parents within a few short years of each other. We talk a lot about grieving today: depression, avoidance, grief rituals, how our loved ones can show up for us, the joy pets can bring us in the worst of times. As an adoptee, Nicole has been one of the stalwart leaders in our community and you’ll know why when you listen to the compassion and vulnerability she shares in our conversation.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
287 | Sarah Myer
We are so excited to introduce you to Sarah Myer, author of the forthcoming graphic memoir, Monstrous. Today Sarah and I talk about their love of comics, anime, and cosplay and how it lead them to explore their own identity as a Korean adoptee and comic artist. We also talk about anger and violence and how it can be incredibly scary when it’s erupting out of ourselves.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
256 Kira Omans
We are so thrilled to talk with actor, audiobook narrator, and adoptee advocate, Kira Omans today. Kira shares how looking deeply at adoption over the past decade has changed her perspective. We talk about what it’s like to audition as an adoptee and to embody a new character and identity during a performance. Of course, we get to chat about adoptee representation in Hollywood and the media, including how watching just one documentary upended what Kira thought was her origin story.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
255 Sarah Audsley
We are thrilled to introduce you to Sarah Audsley today! Sarah’s debut poetry collection Landlock X is our June Adoptees On(ly) Book Club pick. Today Sarah shares about how a reunion with genetic family in Korea only opened up more questions for her. We talk about cultural differences, context that can be lost in translation, and how she may be an anomaly with accurate records from the adoption agency. We talk through several of Sarah’s poems and our excitement surrounding the growing body of adoptee literature.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
254 [Healing Series] Adoptee Superpowers
Today we are talking with Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker about adoptee superpowers. Don’t worry, we’re not going to express gratitude for a traumatic experience over here, it’s more about understanding what are some common traits we hold and how can we embrace and make use of them to our advantage. We talk about perfectionism, empathy, people-pleasing, control, attachment, independence and more. We know you’re going to find something you relate to in today’s episode!
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
253 Dr. Sam and Sandria
We are thrilled to bring you two fellow podcasters today! Dr. Samantha Coleman and Sandria Washington are our guests from Black to the Beginning. They share their stories of being friends who just coincidentally found out a few years apart in adulthood that they also were both adopted. We talk about the lack of resources for same race black adoptees and how Dr. Sam and Sandria are working to build the community and supports they wish they had when they first found out they were adopted.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
252 Anne Elise
Today’s guest is our friend, Anne Elise. Anne lives abroad and we talk about some of the intersections she sees between living as an American expat and being an adopted person. Anne shares what it’s like growing up with an adopted brother who was keen to live out the defiant “acting out” adoptee stereotype. We also talk about our love of reading adoptee-authored work and rejection from our birthmothers.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
251 Cam Lee Small, MS, LPCC
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
250 | [Healing Series] Pet Loss and Grief
If you’ve been around the show for a while, you may remember that almost exactly one year ago Haley said goodbye to her dog, Lucy. We had so many people reach out during that time who had also lost a pet companion and so we started this conversation as a community about how especially weighty the grief can be for an adopted person.
Today’s guest is Laura Summers, LMFT, an adoptee and therapist, and we are talking how pet loss is a form of disenfranchised grief. Laura holds my hand through this challenging conversation about how dear our pets can be to us, and she teaches us how we can move through grief in a way that honours ourselves instead of trying to get to a finish line of feeling “fine”.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
249 Angela Tucker
Today’s guest is Angela Tucker, one of the most well-known adopted people in our community, subject of the documentary Closure, now turned author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption. Angela shares about her time as a caseworker in private adoption, and about the difficulties of balancing the tightrope act of critiquing adoption and still being invited back into adoption spaces. We also chat about how the subject of adoption shows up in Hollywood storylines is slowly evolving.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
248 Jeff Nyhuis & Amy Geller, LCSW
If you are someone who is looking to have a relationship but have struggled to connect with past partners, or you are feeling misunderstood in your current relationship whenever you start talking about adoption, I think this conversation will be extremely helpful for you. Today we are joined by Amy Geller, LCSW, an adoptee and therapist, and her husband Jeff Nyhuis. Amy found herself repeating some self-sabotaging patterns in romantic relationships and when she met Jeff she was determined to correct course. We talk with Amy and Jeff about coming out of the fog together. They give us advice about how we can start these conversations with our partners, and how you might end up creating another adoptee ally in the process!
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
247 | Katie Bozek, Ph.D., LMFT
Today’s guest is Dr. Katie Bozek, a therapist and the Executive Director of KAAN, the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network. We talk about the complexity of what being asked for our story brings. Katie shares how the birth of her first child was what set her on the journey of looking closely of what being adopted truly meant to her, and we touch on ways we both parent as adoptees with a focus on building connection. We wrap up by talking about the upcoming KAAN conference and what an adoptee-led event with a focus on community building and well-being can look like.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
246 Dorothy Ellen Palmer
Today’s guest is author and accessibility consultant Dorothy Ellen Palmer. Dorothy is a fellow Canadian adoptee whose story has some remarkable coincidences. We talk about the indescribable lure back to the places of our biological ancestors, why mainstream adoption humour is so problematic, and ableism in the adoptee community.
This episode requires a trigger warning as we touch on some extremely difficult topics including mentions of sexual assault including infant sexual assault and other mentions of abuse.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
245 Mary Gauthier
What can we say about today’s guest? She is an iconic songwriter, Grammy-nominated folk artist, and outspoken adoptee advocate, Mary Gauthier. Mary’s first book Saved By A Song: The Art and Healing Power of Songwriting is a nurturing exploration of how sharing our stories can be a healing experience. Her 2010 album The Foundling has become a soundtrack for many of us as we’ve grieved and process our own adoptee stories. Mary and Haley talk about her path to songwriting, how important adoptee community is to her, and the power of story to overcome trauma.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
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244 Deanna Shrodes, D.Min.
We are back with part two of our interview with Dr. Deanna Shrodes. Last week Deanna shared with us how her father Gus Nicholas was found in May 2022 at the age of 92 after a first cousin DNA match. Deanna was his only daughter and they had several precious months together in reunion before he passed away in December 2022. Their story is so unbelievable that it’s been featured on CBS Mornings and has gone viral around the world. Today we talk more about grief, the adoptee community, and how Deanna is handling some hard news that some of her maternal family members were keeping secrets from her and Gus for decades.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
243 Deanna Shrodes, D.Min.
Our guest is Dr. Deanna Shrodes, a minister and well-known writer of the Adoptee Restoration blog and multiple books. Back in 2019 Deanna and I discussed the challenges of searching for her father and coming up with false leads and dead ends for years. Well today, she is back to share her heartwarming and heartbreaking story of finding her father Gus Nicholas after a lengthy search. It is so unbelievable that it has gone viral with millions watching her story on CBS Mornings. We talk about the joy and grief and messiness of all of it. This is part one, next week we’ll finish the story and share our recommended resources with you.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
242 Andie Coston, LCSWA Today we are talking about something that may feel triggering to many of us. Indeed, both me and my guest had a hard time at different points during this conversation. We are talking with an adoptee who is also an adoptive parent. Andie Coston, LCSWA, is here, and we’re talking about how to live in the grey world of both advocating for adoption abolition and/or reform, and also the fact that there are children that need permanence now. How do we look at the systemic upstream problems that cause adoption to exist, and how do we support the most vulnerable in a timely fashion? There are very challenging parts to being an adopted person who also adopts, and there are moments where an adopted person is the only other person who could understand what their adoptee is going through.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
241 Kirsta Bowman
Today’s guest is Kirsta Bowman, also known as Karpoozy to much of the internet. Kirsta is an adoptee advocate who has alerted millions of TikTok viewers about unethical adoption rehoming practices. She shares some of her personal search reunion story with us today, and we chat about the complexities of reunion when your biological family lives on another continent. And of course we revisit the topic of grief when you’re rejected from being reunited and when you find a grave.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
240 Sandra Steingraber, Ph.D.
Today’s guest is Dr. Sandra Steingraber, a public health biologist and climate crisis expert. Sandra shares some of her personal story with us, and then the importance of knowing the interactions of both our biology and our adoptive environments on our health. As a gay woman who came out later in life, Sandra now helps facilitate a Queer Adoptee support group and we talk about the intersections and conflicts she sees between the LGBTQ community and the adoptee rights community. We’ve talked before about the upstream issues causing adoption to continue, but have you ever thought of how the climate crisis may be impacting family separation? Dr. Steingraber will explain!
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
239 Adoptees On(ly) Book Club
We’re inviting you to join our Adoptees On(ly) Book Club discussion today! Sullivan Summer interviews Rebecca Carroll, author of Surviving the White Gaze, at a live Zoom event with fellow adoptees. This was recorded in October of 2022. Like Rebecca, Sullivan is a Black, domestic, transracial adoptee raised in New Hampshire. She is a regular contributor to Adoptees Off Script.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Lora K. Joy returns to the podcast today to share about the process of legally changing her name and being adopted back by her biological mother. We talk about all the healing work and therapy she's persisted in to find acceptance of herself and about how it feels to own the truth around her story.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
237 | [Healing Series] Identity
Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC returns to discuss a model of attachment that is so helpful for adopted people to consider. Instead of attachment styles being seen as a spectrum, Marta teaches us about the Nested Model and understanding the layers of complexity that can add to adoptees’ experience of attachment. We even do a role play of how to have some challenging conversations if you’re struggling in any relationship.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Shannon Gibney, an award-winning author of multiple books, and her brand new release, The Girl I Am, Was, & Never Will Be: A Speculative Memoir of Transracial Adoption, returns to the podcast! Today Shannon shares some of her reunion story with us, how her long-time friends supported her through some pivotal life events, and how her relationship with her adoptive family has evolved over the years. We talk about the brand new book, and patrons will get the opportunity to join Shannon for an Adoptees On(ly) book club event in February 2023 (adopteeson.com/bookclub).
Happy 2023! What a way for us to begin the new year! One of the people we most highly esteem in the adoptee community is here, JaeRan Kim Ph.D.. JaeRan is an adoptee scholar, community leader, and author of the prolific blog, Harlow’s Monkey. Today she shares some of her personal story and how she landed in critical adoption studies. She also teaches us about the brilliant new model she’s developed with several adoptee scholars to help us move beyond “out of the fog” language and instead come into Adoptee Consciousness.
234 | [Healing Series] Positive Racial Identity
Abby Hasberry, LMFT-A join us to talk about the importance of adult adoptees developing a positive racial identity. We can’t develop that as children (nor as adults) when racial mirrors and cultural experiences are nonexistent. Abby shares some tools and strategies we can use to do this work of racial reclamation, and she addresses a common fear and question, “but is this cultural appropriation?”.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
233 | Patrick Armstrong
We are so excited to welcome Patrick Armstrong to the podcast! Patrick is a fellow adoptee community builder and today he shares his experiences growing up as a Korean adoptee in all-white spaces. He’s moved from rejecting his Asian identity, to a period of reclamation of identity, language and culture, and now feels that he’s in a place of fully accepting himself. We hope this conversation will be encouraging, especially to those of you who have struggled to affirm your own unique identity in the world.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
232 | [Healing Series] Identity
We’re excited to have Marta Sierra, LMHC back on the podcast, one of our favourite adoptee therapists! Today Marta talks with us about identity development as adult adoptees. We talk through some of the ways adoption trauma can mean delayed development, and that finding out who we really are is possible in adulthood. Marta also advises us that sometimes doing healing work and discovering our preferences and values can upend our lives.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Thank you to each one of you who has listened to an episode of Adoptees On! Each adoptee who listens is an integral part of our community, and we are feeling especially grateful for you making this possible today.
Haley Radke and Carrie Cahill Mulligan are celebrating 1,000,000 downloads of the Adoptees On podcast! Join us as we take a look back at our first episode together and talk through some of our changes of perspective over the last six and a half years. We also answer some of your questions.
We hope we have consistently shown you that adoptee voices are number one here! It is a true honour that we get to share your stories and wisdom with the world. If you’d like the show to keep thriving, please consider joining our Patreon or giving a one-time donation.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
230 | Marcy Axness, Ph.D.
Today we are excited to welcome Marcy Axness, Ph.D.. This episode is a mix of a history lesson about adoptee activism and the psychological impacts of infant and mother separation. Marcy has her Ph.D. in Early Human Development, and brings a unique expertise and lens to the adopted person’s experience. We discuss what it’s like if we bring consciousness to our experiences and how we can be always moving towards healing but also that, unfortunately, there will likely always be opportunities for more healing.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
229 | Tiffany Henness
Today we get to introduce you to our friend, Tiffany Henness. Tiffany shares her story of growing up in an open adoption, and how it isn’t the panacea that many hold it up to be. We discuss how she came to explore race, adoption, and faith and what shifted her perspectives on all of those topics. Now, Tiffany is an adoption and racial literacy expert who writes, speaks, and leads others to unpack the complexities of these experiences.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
228 | Grace Kelly
We have to admit this is the first featured guest we’ve had on the show who is not adopted. We are excited to introduce you to Grace Kelly, who has successfully had her adoption reversed in Australia and now works to help other Australians annul their adoptions. We discuss the impact having her adoption reversed has had on her personal healing journey and Grace also shares about the importance of our language, including why she doesn’t use the term adoptee.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
227 | Adoptee Remembrance Day
Adoptee Remembrance Day is commemorated annually on October 30th. It is a day to remember our adoptee friends who have died by suicide. On this day we also acknowledge the adopted people who are without citizenship in the very country they were taken to as infants or children. We think of those who have suffered abuse at the hands of their adoptive parents and grieve those who have been murdered by the people who promised to give them a safe home. We mourn with those of us who have buried pain through addictions and lost time through incarceration. On Adoptee Remembrance Day we validate the experiences of those who have had adoption disruptions and multiple placements. Today we recognize the disconnection and loss of all who identify as being separated from our families of origin, by no choice of our own.
This is the third annual Adoptee Remembrance Day and in previous years we have asked listeners to submit recordings of what the day meant to them. This year we recorded a live event with the Adoptee Voices writing groups and ten adoptee writers who are sharing a collection of their poetry and prose with us today. It was powerful and moving and deeply beautiful and filled with sorrow.
*Content warning: this episode contains mentions of suicide, self-harm, and other challenging topics
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
227 | Adoptee Remembrance Day
Adoptee Remembrance Day is commemorated annually on October 30th. It is a day to remember our adoptee friends who have died by suicide. On this day we also acknowledge the adopted people who are without citizenship in the very country they were taken to as infants or children. We think of those who have suffered abuse at the hands of their adoptive parents and grieve those who have been murdered by the people who promised to give them a safe home. We mourn with those of us who have buried pain through addictions and lost time through incarceration. On Adoptee Remembrance Day we validate the experiences of those who have had adoption disruptions and multiple placements. Today we recognize the disconnection and loss of all who identify as being separated from our families of origin, by no choice of our own.
This is the third annual Adoptee Remembrance Day and in previous years we have asked listeners to submit recordings of what the day meant to them. This year we recorded a live event with the Adoptee Voices writing groups and ten adoptee writers who are sharing a collection of their poetry and prose with us today. It was powerful and moving and deeply beautiful and filled with sorrow.
*Content warning: this episode contains mentions of suicide, self-harm, and other challenging topics
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
226 | Harrison Mooney
Today we are so honoured to introduce you to Harrison Mooney, author of the incredible new memoir, Invisible Boy, where he exposes the trauma of transracial adoption. Harrison shares with us why family preservation is so important to him, and how he was able to reconnect with his biological mother after a lengthy time of silence between them. We talk about the complexities of being in a situation where it didn’t feel safe to say the whole truth about adoption, and about how good it feels when you’re finally able to speak freely.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
225 | Ethan Ferkiss
Today we are joined by Ethan Ferkiss to share his heartwarming reunion story. Expecting rejection or indifference, Ethan wasn’t prepared for his search to end in what he calls the “jackpot scenario: a full-scale welcome”. But as you can guess, navigating new relationships with four adult siblings, his biological mother, and his biological father, has been a whirlwind and can be overwhelming at times.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
224 | [Healing Series] I Will Not Abandon Myself
Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT, RPT-S is back to talk about adoptee self-worth. So many of us tell ourselves the story over and over of, “there must be something wrong with me because I wasn’t worth keeping”. Janet talks us through a new phrase we can say to ourselves, “I will not abandon myself when I need myself the most.” This episode is for you if you’ve ever felt like you weren’t enough. Let’s show up for ourselves, sometimes that’s all we’ve got!
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
223 | Tony Corsentino
We are honoured to introduce you to Tony Corsentino today! As a philosophy professor turned public librarian, Tony walks us through some of the best strategies he’s used to challenge the traditional adoption narrative. He also teaches us the differences between privacy and secrecy and he shares the importance of adoptees listening to the stories of others who have experienced severance from their family of origin.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
223 | Tony Corsentino
We are honoured to introduce you to Tony Corsentino today! As a philosophy professor turned public librarian, Tony walks us through some of the best strategies he’s used to challenge the traditional adoption narrative. He also teaches us the differences between privacy and secrecy and he shares the importance of adoptees listening to the stories of others who have experienced severance from their family of origin.
Full Show Notes Here
This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
222 | Kara Bos
Kara Bos is one of the first adoptees to ever successfully win a paternity lawsuit in South Korea. Kara’s biological father was compelled by the courts to take a DNA test confirming his genetic connection to Kara which in turn allowed her to be added to the family registry as his daughter. We talk about the difficulties of disenfranchised grief she experienced when he died only six months after her court victory. Kara also shares about how there is room for us to be thankful for our current lives and also freedom to search for our origins and grieve the past.
Full Show Notes Here Recommended Resources * Danish Korean Rights Group * News article “Call for South Korea to investigate child adoptions to Denmark” * Adapted Podcast * Adapted Podcast - Kara’s episode
Connect With Us * Kara Bos: Instagram | Facebook | Personal Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
222 | Kara Bos
Kara Bos is one of the first adoptees to ever successfully win a paternity lawsuit in South Korea. Kara’s biological father was compelled by the courts to take a DNA test confirming his genetic connection to Kara which in turn allowed her to be added to the family registry as his daughter. We talk about the difficulties of disenfranchised grief she experienced when he died only six months after her court victory. Kara also shares about how there is room for us to be thankful for our current lives and also freedom to search for our origins and grieve the past.
Full Show Notes Here Recommended Resources * Danish Korean Rights Group * News article “Call for South Korea to investigate child adoptions to Denmark” * Adapted Podcast * Adapted Podcast - Kara’s episode
Connect With Us * Kara Bos: Instagram | Facebook | Personal Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
221 | Haley Does DNA Testing
In the final episode before our summer break, guest host Lisette Austin interviews Haley Radke! We are talking all about DNA testing: what made Haley finally take the plunge, which companies she chose to use, and about all the surprise feelings that came up. Haley also did this weird podcaster thing where she recorded her inner thoughts while spitting in the tubes… so we may have a few clips from that throughout the episode.
We’ll see you back here in September, make sure you’re following or subscribed to Adoptees On so we can connect with you again in the fall with brand new episodes!
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Cut Off Genes Podcast: https://cutoffgenes.libsyn.com * Search Maven E165 of Adoptees On: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/165 * The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast: Ep 61 | Mickela Mallozzi: Dance & DNA Travel * My American Meltingpot Podcast: Ep 34 | DNA travel, adoption & multiracial identity * Mentioned: episodes about Haley’s story: Episode 13 * Mentioned: The Lost Family: How DNA Testing Is Upending Who We Are by Libby Copeland
Connect With Us * Lisette Austin: Twitter | Instagram | travelingmyroots.com | The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
220 | Christina Romo
Today guest host Lisette Austin speaks with Christina Romo, creator of the blog called Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee. Christina shares about her career path in the adoption world and how she has finally found a position that she feels aligns with her personal work in adoptee advocacy. Lisette and Christina discuss the complexities that come with being close with adoptive parents and family while coming to grips with the trauma and loss that is part of adoption. Christina stresses the importance of remaining true to yourself while navigating the healing process.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Diary of a Not-So-Angry Asian Adoptee: diaryofanotsoangryasianadoptee.com * Harlow’s Monkey: An Unapologetic Look at Transracial and Transnational Adoption by Dr. JaeRan Kim
Connect With Us * Christina Romo: Instagram | Facebook | diaryofanotsoangryasianadoptee.com * Lisette Austin: Twitter | Instagram | travelingmyroots.com | The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
219 | The Flourish Experience
Today we are talking about The Flourish Experience. You’re going to hear from multiple people who participated in a year-long group focused in on adoptee community through writing and sharing together weekly.
I hope what you hear is that connecting deeply with other adopted people is possible. So many of them share that by being vulnerable they’ve been able to be truly seen by their peers, and for some that’s brought a measure of healing. There have been many different lessons learned through their year together, and I am honoured to get to share some of those with you today. For the majority of the show you’re going to hear from Catie Samantha Peck, LMSW, and Michelle Hinton, with multiple other authors chiming in with their thoughts throughout. The members of the 2021 Flourish group hope this book will guide and inspire you to find your own Flourish Family.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * The Flourish Experience: www.theflourishexperience.com * Art auction to support Saving Our Sisters (savingoursistersadoption.org)
Connect With Us * The Flourish Experience: www.theflourishexperience.com * Catie Samantha Peck, LMSW: Instagram | www.truestorycounselingservices.com * Michelle Hinton: Instagram * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
218 | Dr. Jenny Heijun Wills
We are honoured to have the brilliant Dr. Jenny Heijun Wills return to Adoptees On today. We talk about what reunion has looked like in the time since she’s published her award-winning memoir, Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related., including the practical “how-tos” of maintaining a relationship with a family member that lives abroad and speaks a different language. Jenny also addresses what it feels like to be raised with Eurocentric beauty standards as a person of colour.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Mentioned: https://this.org/2020/09/21/a-certain-swanness/ * Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related.: A Memoir by Jenny Heijun Wills * Adoption and Multiculturalism: Europe, the Americas, and the Pacific Editors: Jenny Heijun Wills, Tobias Hübinette, and Indigo Willing * Probably Ruby by Lisa Bird-Wilson * The Jade Peony by Wayson Choy * All That Matters by Wayson Choy
Connect With Us * Dr. Jenny Heijun Wills: Twitter | Instagram | www.jennyheijunwills.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
217 | Lisa Bird-Wilson
I am thrilled to introduce you to today’s guest, Lisa Bird-Wilson, the author of the phenomenal novel, Probably Ruby. We talk about what it means to be Indigenous and adopted into a white family and how she has now spent decades exploring her Metis identity. Lisa shares some behind-the-scenes info about the process of writing Probably Ruby, why she’s currently writing a memoir, and the importance of having that history preserved for her children.
During this interview, there were some challenges with sound, and unfortunately, I was distracted by my ailing dog and didn’t do my best work. I apologize to Lisa that I didn’t catch some poor audio quality moments that I normally would have caught during recording.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * Probably Ruby by Lisa Bird-Wilson * Just Pretending by Lisa Bird-Wilson * The Red Files by Lisa Bird-Wilson * The Sixties Scoop Foundation: www.nationalhealingfoundation.com
Connect With Us * Lisa Bird-Wilson: lisabirdwilson.com | Probably Ruby- Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
216 | Annalisa Toccara
Today guest host Lisette Austin speaks with Annalisa Toccara, the co-founder of the UK organization, Adoptee Futures. Annalisa shares about the complexities of her relationship with her adoptive family, and her experience coming “out of the fog.” Lisette and Annalisa also discuss grief and loss, they’ve both lost an adoptive parent within the last year or two. Annalisa talks about the loss of her adoptive mother in 2021, what the grieving process has been like, and the profound gifts at the core of the journey.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman * The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them by Michelle Elman
Connect With Us * Annalisa Toccara: Twitter | Instagram | www.adopteefutures.org * Lisette Austin: Twitter | Instagram | travelingmyroots.com | The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
215 | Lee Herrick
Today’s guest is the exceptional poet Lee Herrick. If you haven’t read any of Lee’s work, today is the day to make a purchase at your favourite bookstore! Lee is a Korean adoptee and shares how he found out later in life he was born in a completely different city than he was told. We discuss poetry as a social critique, surviving feelings of deep despair, and how writing poetry and finding the adoptee community has been such a gift.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Scar and Flower by Lee Herrick * Gardening Secrets of the Dead by Lee Herrick * This Many Miles from Desire by Lee Herrick * First Person Plural (documentary by Deann Borshay Liem) - www.newday.com/film/first-person-plural
Connect With Us * Lee Herrick: Twitter | Facebook | www.leeherrick.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
214 | Sunny Reed
We are thrilled to talk with Sunny Reed while she’s right in the midst of her Ph.D. program developing a new transformational framework for transnational adoption. We believe her focus on connecting critical adoption research studies with existing child-focused and child-centering scholars is going to be revolutionary over the next decade. Haley and Sunny discuss some of what that means, as Sunny gives us a preview of her framework, but we also get personal talking about some health challenges she’s had and the pain of working in advocacy when it all comes back to our personal experiences with loss.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Journal article “Their reward will be a lovely daughter": The Mobilization of "Hard to Adopt" and the Portrayal of Adoption as a Gift. Adoption & Culture. 8. 227-244. Hepburn, Taryn & Bendo, Daniella & Spencer, Dale & Sinclair, Raven & Bennett, Jacob. (2020) * Childhood in a Global Perspective by Karen Wells
Connect With Us * Sunny Reed: sunnyjreed.blog * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
213 | Kendra Mylnechuk Potter
Guest host Lisette Austin speaks with Kendra Mylnechuk Potter, actor, yoga teacher, Native adoptee, and subject of the documentary, Daughter of Lost Bird. Kendra shares her powerful adoption and reunion story, about navigating identity issues while claiming her cultural heritage, and what it was like to reunite with her biological mother, family, and community as part of filming a documentary. Kendra also talks about the painful and abusive U.S. policies around Native children and adoption, how she practices self-care while integrating the reality of generational and historical trauma into her personal story, and much more.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Daughter of a Lost Bird - Documentary - www.daughterofalostbird.com * Dawnland - Documentary - upstanderproject.org/dawnland * Blood Memory - Documentary - www.bloodmemorydoc.com * I Can Make This Promise by Christine Day * The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk * Try out an embodiment practice for healing work
Connect With Us * Kendra Mylnechuk Potter: Instagram | www.daughterofalostbird.com * Lisette Austin: Twitter | Instagram | travelingmyroots.com | The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
212 | Mary Anna King
Today the author of our April Adoptees On(ly) book club pick, B______s is with us! Mary Anna King was one of our very first podcast guests almost six years ago on season one. We discuss the challenges of being a kinship adoptee, the things that are often overlooked (like estrangements and other conflicts) that can force children to be unfairly used as weapons. We also talk about what it feels like to be a generational trauma cycle-breakers as Mary is expecting her first child.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * B______ by Mary Anna King (Listen to her first [Episode 7] and second appearances [Episode 67] on Adoptees On) * What Next? The Adoptee Rights Podcast - episode 6 “Cleanup” with the Vermont Adoptee Rights Working Group * Vermont Adoptee Rights Working Group * Adoptee Rights Law * Hear more about Greg Luce on his Adoptees On episode 182
Connect With Us * Mary Anna King: Twitter | maryannaking.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
211 | Sullivan Summer
Today’s guest is the brilliant Sullivan Summer! Growing up as a black transracial adoptee with white adoptive parents, Sullivan was actively discouraged from identifying as black by her adoptive mother. She shares about her recent decision to change her full name as a sign of identity reclamation and we also discuss the intersection of adoption, race, and the United States’ history of slavery.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Outsiders Within: Writing on Transracial Adoption (re-release 2021) edited by Jane Jeong Trenka, Julia Chinyere Oparah, and Sun Yung Shin * University of Minnesota Press podcast episodes with the editors of Outsiders Within:
- What society gets wrong about transracial adoption: Sun Yung Shin, Shannon Gibney, and JaeRan Kim.
- Korean and Vietnamese adoptees on the intimate racialized politics of transracial adoption: Jane Jeong Trenka, Indigo Willing, and kimura byol-nathalie lemoine.
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Outsiders Within: Korean adoptees Jane Jeong Trenka and Ami Nafzger share their stories.
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National Association of Black Social Workers 1972 Position Statement on Transracial Adoption (a direct download is available here: https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.nabsw.org/resource/collection/E1582D77-E4CD-4104-996A-D42D08F9CA7D/NABSW_Trans-Racial_Adoption_1972_Position_(b).pdf )
Connect With Us * Sullivan Summer: Instagram * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
210 | Stephanie Drenka
Today’s guest is the incredible Stephanie Drenka, and we say incredible because she saw the need for an online platform for underrepresented communities and went ahead and built VISIBLE magazine in one night. Stephanie talks about her shifting view of adoption over time, how being raised in a predominantly white community caused her to experience internalized racism, and why sometimes when you see a need in the community, you’ve got to be the one to go ahead and fill the gap.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * VISIBLE Magazine (mentioned: article by Gracie) and VISIBLE on Instagram * Somebody’s Children: The Politics of Transnational and Transracial Adoption by Laura Briggs * Taking Children: A History of American Terror by Laura Briggs * Mentioned: Adoptees On episode addressing internalized racism (177 Healing Series Internalized Oppression)
Connect With Us * Stephanie Drenka: StephanieDrenka.com | [VISIBLEmagazine.com] | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
209 | Dr. Hollee McGinnis
The indomitable Dr. Hollee McGinnis is on the podcast today! Many of you have definitely heard of Hollee and her immense contributions to the adoptee community both academically as a scholar and as a community builder which includes starting the adoptee-centric organization, Also Known As, over 25 years ago. Today we get to talk about some deeply personal topics to Hollee, which of course includes community building, but we also discuss how Hollee’s perspective on adoption has changed over the years. Hollee shares how sometimes, who we see as the “high-performing adoptees” may be trying to outwork some internal struggles. Make sure you stick around until the end of the show as Hollee shares a poem she wrote about kimchi and how her breast cancer diagnosis lead her to a rediscovery of Korean food, this time as a cook!
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Adoption Initiative Conference: The Evolution of Adoption Practice: Activist and Community Perspectives - March 25-26, 2022 * Also Known As * iamadoptee.org * Rudd Adoption Research Program for scholarship on adoption
Connect With Us * Dr. Hollee McGinnis: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Guest host Lisette Austin interviews her close lifelong friend Iana, who helped Lisette find her birth father using genetic genealogy. Iana shares her adoption and reunion story, and what led her to “come out of the fog” and begin exploring adoptee issues. She also shares what led her to become interested in genealogy, the importance of having a close adoptee friend, and what her top adoptee resources are. Together Lisette and Iana share some of the story behind their detective hunt, including a few of their favourite highlights.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * IFS Therapist Directory: https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners * Adoptees On episodes about IFS: 69, 71, 135 and 180 with Marta Isabella Sierra. Also discussed in episodes 70 and 175
Connect With Us * Lisette Austin: Twitter | Instagram | travelingmyroots.com | The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we’re talking with Lisette Austin, who is going to have a very special role here at Adoptees On, but we won’t spoil exactly what that is, yet. Lisette is an award-winning podcaster, passionate about travel, and also happens to be one of Haley’s good friends. We discuss what it’s meant for Lisette to learn more about her biological family using DNA testing and genealogical research and we share why this particular episode is a milestone marker in the life of the Adoptees On podcast.
Please join us in welcoming Lisette Austin to Adoptees On, in her new role as … well, you’ll hear very soon!
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Adoptee Literary Festival live for free on April 9, 2022! Follow on Instagram: @adopteelitfest * The Lost Family: How DNA Testing is Upending Who We Are by Libby Copeland
Connect With Us * Lisette Austin: Twitter | Instagram | travelingmyroots.com | The Globetrotter Lounge Podcast * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we are honoured to introduce you to Mike Trupiano. Mike shares about his painful childhood, marred by violence and a feeling of being fully unwanted. We talk about adoptee healing, about searching for his biological family, which included a literal doorstop visit where he dressed up as a delivery driver. He’s a skilled storyteller, actor and comedian, also a sober coach. Now living in Germany, Mike’s worked so hard at self-care and reclaiming identity, we think you’ll join us in being in awe of the skills he’s built up.
Full Show Notes Here Recommended Resources * Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal by Jeanette Winterson * The Bourne Identity - 2002 Film * Mind over Matter - Jeanette Winterson’s newsletter on Substack
Connect With Us * Mike Trupiano: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | miketrupiano.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we are joined by Melissa Guida-Richards, author of What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices. Melissa is a late discovery adoptee, accidentally finding out at age 19 that she was adopted. She shares with us how she’s since reconciled with her adoptive mother and how they now navigate open conversations about race and adoption. Melissa also tells us about how and why she decided to educate and engage with adoptive parents both in print through her words, and in online discussions.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices By Melissa Guida-Richards * Adoptee Thoughts - Melissa Guida-Richards’s podcast * Adoption Mosaic (Hear more about Adoption Mosaic: Astrid Castro’s appearance on Adoptees On - Episode 156)
Connect With Us * Melissa Guida-Richards: Twitter | Instagram | www.adopteethoughts.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today I’m talking with Jan Beatty, poet, professor, and the author of the recently released memoir, American Bastard. We talk about how Jan wants to disrupt the traditional narrative, what she calls the “whitewashed” view of adoption. What happens when you publicly name your hockey-famous biological father, even after he denies your paternity claim? We even get to hear a reading from American Bastard, and it is so powerful it certainly made me tear up.
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Recommended Resources * American Bastard by Jan Beatty * The Body Wars by Jan Beatty (and other books of poetry) * Journey of the Adopted Self by B.J. Lifton * The West Pole by Diane Glancy
Connect With Us * Jan Beatty: Twitter | Email beattyjp [at] aol [dot] com | www.janbeatty.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
I’m honoured to introduce you to Lisa Olivera today, one of my favourite therapists to follow on Instagram. Her gentle and compassionate presence feels like just what we need in this time. The title of Lisa’s new book, Already Enough: A Path to Self Acceptance, is the perfect description of the message she wants to share with us today: we’re already enough.
Full Show Notes Here This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Already Enough: A Path to Self Acceptance by Lisa Olivera, MFT * Make sure to follow Lisa’s encouraging Instagram account * No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard C. Schwartz, PHD
Connect With Us * Lisa Olivera, MFT: Instagram | lisaolivera.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Leah Cooper shares how listening to hours and hours and hours of adoptees, birth families, and adoptive parents sharing their stories lead her to what she calls her “volcano of grief”. Leah was a part of a team that created a play called In My Heart: The Adoption Play Project, which has been transformed into a graphic novel. We discuss how the impact of unpacking her adoption experience has been transformational.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * In My Heart: The Adoption Story Project - Created by Alan Berks & Leah Cooper, Illustrated by Becca Hart * The somatic approach - using meditation, yoga, & ASMR * The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Connect With Us * Leah Cooper, Wonderlust Productions: Instagram | Facebook | wlproductions.org * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Free preview Patreon episode with all the details of our 2022 Book Club: Adoptees On(ly) Book Club 2022 Announcements
Check out our Adoptees On(ly) Book Club picks to add to your TBR pile: https://www.adopteeson.com/bookclub
Join our private community: https://www.adopteeson.com/community
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we are talking about celebrations with Pam Cordano, MFT because we are celebrating 200 episodes of the Adoptees On Podcast! Pam and Haley talk about how celebrations can often feel scary for us as adopted people because feeling joy or happiness can be disorienting (upper limit problem anyone?). Pam shares a few different reasons why we may feel that way, teaches us steps towards feeling happiness, and how to hold space for both good things and challenging things simultaneously.
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Recommended Resources * 10 Foundations for a Meaningful Life (No Matter What's Happened) by Pam Cordano, MFT * Read more about the “Upper Limit Problem” in The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
Connect With Us * Pam Cordano, MFT: pamcordano.com | yourmeaningful.life | Twitter | Instagram | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we welcome back to Adoptees On, Brian Stanton. Brian shares with us how the pandemic morphed his script for a play into his fantastic new film @GhostKingdom. We talk about how relationships can shift for us as adopted people: building relationships with people we may believe are genetic relatives until it’s confirmed they aren’t, and how his conception story that Brian and his mother believed for decades got upended.
Full Show Notes Here Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Brian Stanton’s film @GhostKingdom www.atghostkingdom.com and find a screening here * Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Network * The Search for Mother Missing: A Peek Inside International Adoption by Janine Vance * Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton
Connect With Us * Brian Stanton: Instagram | Facebook | thebrianstanton.com | @GhostKingdom Instagram | www.atghostkingdom.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
I’m thrilled to bring you today’s guest, Andrea Ross, author of Unnatural Selection: A Memoir of Adoption and Wilderness. Andrea shares how a health crisis lead her outdoors, and how a decade of spending time in the wilderness brought her a feeling of groundedness. We discuss the loneliness that adopted people can face and how we’ve both seen this theme of reconnecting with ancestral landscapes popping up more and more frequently.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Unnatural Selection: A Memoir of Adoption and Wilderness by Andrea Ross * The Wisdom of Wilderness: Experiencing the Healing Power of Nature by Gerald G. May * Adoption: The Making of Me podcast - Andrea’s episode
Notes for Colorado adoptees from a fellow adoptee, Anne:
The Colorado Department of Human Services can give you your adoption file "If your adoption was handled by the state or a county, or the licensed child placement agency (LPCA) that handled your adoption has closed.“ I was able to receive this information even though I was not physically in Colorado. I just had to send a picture of my ID via email to confirm who I was. This service was free of charge.
Colorado adoptees who want to get their OBC and Report of an Adoption (which is basically like an integrated birth certificate and lists your names pre- and post-adoption, your adoptive parents, your birth parents, the date, time and place of your birth, and the attorney who filed the court documents for the adoption), need to contact the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment or go to their website. There is a form to fill out and a fee to pay for this service.
One piece of information regarding sealed adoption information in Colorado is that circa 1990 all of the paper files were collected from the county courthouses to be microfiched and held centrally. So be prepared to receive copies of microfiche film that is potentially difficult to decipher.
More info and links available here from Adoption Search Resource Connection (based in Colorado): www.asrconline.org/get-records
Connect With Us * Andrea Ross: www.andrearosswriter.com | Twitter | Instagram | Personal Facebook | Facebook Page * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we’re back in the spirituality series and we are taking a look at cults and high-demand groups. My guests have both been impacted by cults and they have a theory that adopted people may be more susceptible to these types of groups. Donna and Sara have extensively researched cults since they got out and have a ton of knowledge to share with us. They both tell their personal stories of how they inadvertently found themselves in high-demand groups, how they got out, and what adopted people specifically need to know about cults.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Sara Easterly’s previous appearance on Adoptees On E143 and Donna’s E79 * A Little Bit Culty Podcast * The Vow: NXIVM Documentary on HBO * Searching for Mom: A Memoir by Sara Easterly * Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems, by Alexandra Stein
More reading, research, and resources on the topic:
-
iGotOut www.igotout.org | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
- ICSA: International Cultic Studies Association
- Traumatic Narcissism and Recovery: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear by Daniel Shaw
- Terror, Love and Brainwashing: Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems by Alexandra Stein
- BITE Model of Authoritarian Control by Steven Hassan
- Steven Hassan - What is a Cult? YouTube video with a whiteboard animation explaining the BITE Model
- Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Jana Lalich, Madeleine Tobias
- The Gift of Fear : Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin DeBecker
- Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover
- Sunderland, Paul “Relinquishment and Adoption: Understanding the Impact of and Early Psychological Wound” presentation for iCAAD London 2019, August 12, 2019. (His reference about religiosity/fundamentalism as something commonly seen in adoptees with developmental trauma comes in around 45 minutes in)
- Podcast episode Roys Report “What Makes a Church a Cult” with guest Steven Hassan
Connect With Us * Donna: Email adoptee3 [at] gmail [dot] com * Sara Easterly: saraeasterly.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing stated on it, either by its hosts or any guests, is to be construed as psychological, medical or legal advice. Please seek out professionals in those fields if you need those services. The views expressed by the hosts of Adoptees On or any guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organization or other person unless otherwise stated.
Today we welcome Jack Dermody to the podcast. We talk about family secrets in adoption and the impact it has on all the parties when they are revealed. Jack also gets personal and tells us what happens when you start closely examining your adoptee experience in your seventies. We talk about family preservation and adoptee support, and how that looks like community showing up for each other on a large scale.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * @GhostKingdom by Brian Stanton * Tree of Strangers by Barbara Sumner * It Takes a Village by Hillary Rodham Clinton
Connect With Us * Jack Dermody: Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are revisiting the topic of estrangement today. Earlier in 2021 we did several episodes that examined estrangement and what made some of us decide to break contact with our adoptive families. When I was producing that series I always wanted to have an episode where we could talk about what it would look like to go BACK to our adoptive family after a period of estrangement. Can you ever go back once you’ve left?
Today Ellianna shares her experiences of reunion with her birth mother, and what lead to a decade-long estrangement from her adoptive family. She talks us through her decision-making process for reunification, and I was amazed to hear the depth of how she’s looked back on this and processed all the things that have gone on in her life so far.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Dr. Richard Schwartz * The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz * Previous Adoptees On episodes about Estrangement (playlist on Spotify) or there’s a list on the Adoptees On website here.
Connect With Us * Ellianna Javed: elliejaved [at] gmail [dot] com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Adoptee Remembrance Day is commemorated annually on October 30th. This episode has a collection of recordings that listeners have submitted to the show on what Adoptee Remembrance Day means to them. Haley also shares a way you can show up for fellow adoptees during November, using #DearAdoptees.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * Adoptee Remembrance Day - commemorated annually on October 30th * What is Adoptee Remembrance Day? * Adoptee Remembrance Day Facebook Page * RSVP to the Adoptee Remembrance Day Event on Facebook * Adoptees Connect on Instagram | adopteesconnect.com | Facebook * Use the hashtag #DearAdoptees throughout November * Dear Adoption, dearadoption.com | Instagram | Facebook
Crisis Hotlines:
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 In July 2022, 988 will become the national three-digit code for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, some mobile carriers already support this number. USA
- Crisis Services Canada 1-833-456-4566 24/7 (text 45645, available 4:00pm - 12:00am Eastern time) Canada
- Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741 (USA & Canada)
- Crisis Text Line UK: text HOME to 85258
- Crisis Text Line Ireland: text HOME to 50808
- List of Suicide Crisis Lines Worldwide
- Sexual Assault Crisis Support (RAINN) 1-800-656-4673 (USA)
- Trans Lifeline 1-877-565-8860 (USA)
- Trans Lifeline 1-877-330-6366 (Canada)
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Do we have to choose between our biological family and our adoptive family? What about choosing between their religions or spiritual practices? Mar shares how they are both Jewish and Catholic. We talk through how they chose adult conversion to Judaism as a way to feel permanently grafted to their adoptive family. Mar is also very open about how recovery programs have helped them to identify as spiritual but not religious.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Adoptee Voices & their new E-Zine * Adoptees & Addiction support group. You can hear Miguel talk more about it on Adoptees On episode 176
Connect With Us * Mar Miram: rebelliondogs (at) yahoo (dot) com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Our guest today is scholar and author Susan Devan Harness. Susan shares from an anthropological perspective about the policies in place behind the Indian Adoption Project and why Indigenous placement with white families was preferred by the government. She also shares some of the current action in the US courts to undermine and remove the Indian Child Welfare Act and why it is so critical for us to pay attention to the cascading effects this could have. We do get personal too, about what happened for Susan in her forties as she unravelled what being adopted really meant: being separated both from her original family and from her original culture.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Bitterroot: A Salish Memoir of Transracial Adoption by Susan Devan Harness * Mixing Cultural Identities Through Transracial Adoption: Outcomes of the Indian Adoption Project (1958-1967) by Susan Devan Harness * White Mother to a Dark Race: Settler Colonialism, Maternalism, and the Removal of Indigenous Children in the American West and Australia, 1880-1940 by Margaret D. Jacobs * The Alliance for the Study of Adoption and Culture - Eighth Biennial Conference on Adoption and Culture, where Susan Devan Harness is one of the keynote speakers. Available virtually, most sessions were released on October 8, 2021 and there will be live Q&As October 22 & 23, 2021. * Adoptees Off Script Book Club with Susan Devan Harness October 30, 2021
For Further Education:
- Podcast: This Land (Season Two) by Crooked Media
- Adoptees On episodes on the Canadian Sixties Scoop (Series 6): E110 with Dr. Raven Sinclair, E112 with Christine Miskonoondinkwe Smith, and E114 with Inez Cook
Connect With Us * Susan Devan Harness: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | susanharness.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today’s guest is Dr. Erin Heim who has spent a decade of her life researching and examining both the biblical texts in the New Testament that mention adoption as well as multiple books written from an evangelical perspective of adoption promotion. Erin teaches us what adoption looked like during the first century, and spoiler alert - it’s nothing like modern-day adoption. Erin and I also put a critical lens to how adoptees are treated in the church today, and how conflating biblical metaphors of adoption and modern-day adoption is harmful and keeping churches from embracing a family preservation stance.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * Adoption in Galatians and Romans: Contemporary Metaphor Theories and the Pauline Huiothesia Metaphors by Dr. Erin M. Heim * Dr. Erin M. Heim’s chapter “The Inward Groaning of Adoption (Rom 8:12-25): Recovering the Pauline Adoption Metaphor for Mothers in the Adoption Triad (You can find that within the book Making Sense of Motherhood: Biblical and Theological Perspectives ed. by Beth Stovell) * Growing God’s Family: The Global Orphan Care Movement and the Limits of Evangelical Activism Book by Samuel L. Perry * On Script episode interview with Erin Heim: Adoption in Galatians and Romans
Connect With Us * Dr. Erin M. Heim * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I am thrilled to bring you Barbara Sumner today. Her literary memoir Tree of Strangers is one of the best books I read this year (and I’m including my non-adoption-related reading in that). Barbara and I talk about some of the painful experiences she recounts in her book. We also talk about some of the issues facing the adoptee community today, including Barbara’s perspective on adoption reform vs. the complete abolition of adoption.
Full Show Notes Here
Share your voice for Adoptee Remembrance Day
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Tree of Strangers by Barbara Sumner * Connecting with adopted people, Barbara mentions this Adopted Adults of NZ Facebook group * Barbara’s Newsletter * Barbara’s book club episode for Patreon supporters
Connect With Us * Barbara Sumner: Instagram | Facebook | www.barbarasumner.nz | Barbara’s Newsletter * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Share your voice for Adoptee Remembrance Day
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Today’s guest is brilliant poet Tiana Nobile whose recent collection of poems Cleave is an exceptional exploration of transnational adoption. Tiana shares her story with us from the deeply personal struggles to her in-depth research on the problematic history of adoption. Tiana also teaches us about contranyms and you’ll be in awe of the perfection of the title Cleave when she unpacks that for us.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * Cleave by Tiana Nobile, Spirit of the Staircase by Tiana Nobile * Henry Goldkamp’s interview, “Disrupting Lexical Expectations in “Cleave” * Surviving the White Gaze by Rebecca Carroll * Find out more about Tiana’s upcoming workshops on her events page tiananobile.com/events
Connect With Us * Tiana Nobile: Twitter | Instagram | tiananobile.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We’re celebrating five years of podcasting with a special Ask Me Anything episode. Listeners submitted questions for me (Haley) from “what are your plans for the coming season of Adoptees On?” to “where would you invest a million dollars to help the cause of adoptees?” I also share a bit about this amazing leaf-teardrop hybrid painted by JS Lee.
Full Show Notes Here
Mentioned Today * My story way back in season 1 * Barbara Sumner’s book - Tree of Strangers * Episode 32 - How to choose a therapist * Adoptee therapist directory: https://www.growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We’re coming to our summer break! What better note to end on than this encouraging episode with Dr. Liz DeBetta. Liz has been on the podcast before and shared her story of coming to her late thirties before examining the impact adoption had on her life. Today though we are strictly diving into one of her areas of expertise which is using writing as a tool for healing. Writing is accessible, it has physical, emotional, and mental health benefits. Writing can help us create a new narrative for ourselves. Liz recently lead a group of adoptees through a transformative writing group and she shares some tools we can use to start our own writing practice.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Rudd Adoption Virtual Conference 2020-21 * Dr. Liz DeBetta’s presentation and the participant’s videos (shortand long) * Liz’s first appearance on Adoptees On E118 * Adoptees Connect - now planting new groups * Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise DeSalvo * Waitlist for the new writing groups https://forms.gle/iX6Ru8fcyHfFupkf7
Just note "No, I am not available for all sessions" to skip to the "I am interested in future opportunities" part of the form.
Connect With Us * Dr. Liz DeBetta: www.lizdebetta.com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I’m honoured to introduce you to my new friend Megan Culhane Galbraith today. Megan’s brand new book, The Guild of the Infant Saviour, is out in the world and is getting rave reviews, especially from fellow adoptees. Today we talk about the challenges of building a relationship after the first moments of reunion are finally realized. Megan shares how she views the patterns of silencing adoptees from childhood into our adulthood. Did you know there used to be a program at Cornell that used “practice babies” sourced from foundling homes to teach women how to be mothers? Megan describes the impact of researching these barbaric Domecon experiments on us as adoptees, as humans turned into objects like dolls.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * The Guild of the Infant Saviour: An Adopted Child’s Memory Book by Megan Culhane Galbraith * The Dollhouse Exhibit * Palimpsest by Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom and you can support on Patreon here and hear Lisa’s episode (130) on Adoptees On
Connect With Us * Megan Culhane Galbraith: www.megangalbraith.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | The Dollhouse on IG * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today I’m excited to introduce you to Lora K. Joy. Lora tells us she always knew she didn’t fit in with her adoptive parents, and that she made promises to herself that she would do things differently. Lora recounts a transformative moment where she grieved her adoption loss that intrinsically changed her forever. We also unpack some of the things that lead to her decision to become estranged from her adoptive parents and how she maintains her protective boundary.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Goodbye Hypervigilance: Healing Adoptee Worry by Lora K. Joy * Adoptee Epiphanies on Facebook and Instagram created by Pamela Karanova (adopteesconnect.com)
Connect With Us * Lora K. Joy: www.myadopteetruth.com | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Sharon Stein McNamara, Ed.D. is with us, sharing some of her personal story intermingled with her expertise as a psychologist. Ever wonder if therapists and psychologists are being taught about relinquishment trauma? Have you heard of how helpful Dialectical Behaviour Therapy can be for adopted people? Sharon even reveals the surprising impact reunion had on her romantic relationships.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * When There Are No Words: Repairing Early Trauma and Neglect From the Attachment Period With EMDR Therapy Paperback – by Sandra L. Paulsen Ph.D. * Gabor Mate and Zara Phillips - The Trauma of Relinquishment - Adoption, Addiction and Beyond * Mary Hayes Grieco’s teachings on forgiveness. Her book is Ambushed by Babies and her other work is available on maryhayesgrieco.com
Connect With Us * Sharon Stein McNamara, Ed.D.: www.sharonsteinmcnamara.com | ssmcnamara [at[ comcast [dot] net * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I’m happy to introduce Paul Kimball to you today. Paul shares his story of search and reunion and how the joy of music intertwined him with his first mother. Paul shares deeply with us about his grief from both rejection and death. Family, music, and nature have brought so much delight into Paul’s life, he challenges us to make sure we’re choosing to experience all life has to give and not get stuck in the hard things.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * We are all Human Beings - An Adoptee Ponders by Paul Kimball * Friday night happy hours - National Association of Adoptees & Parents - Paul shared his story there as well, it’s posted on YouTube here. * Some of the music we mention in this episode: The Swan - Jacqueline DuPre and The Elgar Cello Concerto - Jacqueline DuPre
Connect With Us * Paul Kimball: PKSTJohns [at] aol [dot] com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I am excited to introduce you to Gregory Luce today, the attorney behind Adoptee Rights Law. We get to hear some of Greg’s personal story today, including the five-year court battle it took for him to receive his records. We talk about some of the typical arguments adoptee activists hear from legislators against original birth certificate access and what impact DNA testing access has had on OBC legislation. Greg also challenges us to make sure we’re listening to all adoptee voices. Greg is a lawyer but he’s not giving us legal advice during this episode.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * adopteerightslaw.com * The 5 Most Pernicious Myths about Adult Adopted People by Gregory Luce * Adoptees United * American Baby: A Mother, A Child, and the Shadow History of Adoption by Gabrielle Glaser * Cleave by Tiana Noble * The Guild of the Infant Saviour: An Adopted Child's Memory Book by Megan Culhane Galbraith * Invisible Asians by Kim Park Nelson * Surviving the White Gaze by Rebecca Carroll
Connect With Us * Gregory Luce: adopteerightslaw.com | Twitter | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC, is back this week! We are still talking about estrangement and today looking at the question - is loyalty a trauma response? Marta teaches us about “fawning” and that many of us will choose to be loyal to others before ourselves.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * Marta’s first appearance on the podcast was episode 69 which teaches about the Internal Family Systems model and why it’s helpful for adopted people. (Other episodes featuring Marta: 71, 134, 135, & 180)
Connect With Us * Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC: martasierralmhc [at] gmail [dot] com | martadrachenberglmhc.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC, one of our favourite adoptee therapists is back on the podcast today! We are talking about estrangement through the lens of the Internal Family Systems therapy model. Marta teaches us how to listen to our parts’ needs and prioritize the safety of our own identity above preserving relationships.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Isabella Sierra, LMHC: martasierralmhc [at] gmail [dot] com | martadrachenberglmhc.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I’m thrilled Shannon Gibney, writer and activist is here! Shannon shares some of her personal story and how she’s observed adoptee voices reaching critical mass over the last fifteen years. Since her first novel, See No Color, was released 6 years ago, she’s heard from many younger adoptees who’ve felt seen and validated by reading her words. Shannon recounts how her experience of grief in motherhood and the adoptee experience intertwined, and how she’s modelled truth-telling, even the difficult things, to her children.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Shannon Gibney: www.shannongibney.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Ferera Swan is here to share her experiences of reunion and secondary rejection with us. We talk about the impact other members of the extended family can have on our reunions, and Ferera tells us about the meaning behind her name and what her producer encouraged to include in her song “Second Time”.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Ferera Swan: www.fereraswan.com | Instagram | SoundCloud | YouTube | Spotify | Indigo+Swan * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker is with us today and she is teaching us about internalized oppression. She tells us why she finds the term “coming out of the fog” somewhat problematic. If you’ve ever found yourself self-sabotaging, Dr. Wirta-Leiker explains this could actually be a form of self-protection. She leads us with the adoptee-first lens, keeping our mental health and well-being the top priority even when we may prioritize teaching others instead.
Full Show Notes Here
- Find Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker’s directory of adoptee therapists here
- Check out the Society of Adoptee Professionals of Color in Adoption - SAPCA
Connect With Us * Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker: www.growbeyondwords.com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I get to interview some incredibly special people on the show, and today is a perfect example. I am thrilled to introduce you to Miguel Caballero. Miguel shares some of his story with us including how he got sober eight years ago. There are so many adopted people who struggle with addiction, and Miguel describes feeling that he had a birth-mother-shaped hole to fill. He’s gone on to fill a great need in our community by starting the peer-led support group Adoptees and Addiction.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Miguel Caballero: www.adopteesandaddiction.com | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I am honoured to be able to bring you part two of Justin’s story today. Justin shares about a desire to add back his original surname and here in part two we’ll see the fallout. We speculate on what about our experiences as adopted people lets us accept poor treatment that we would never allow towards those we love. Ultimately a world-shifting event in Justin’s immediate family brings clarity to his relationship with his adoptive family.
*TW: Suicide
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Learn about Internal Family Systems * Marta Dranchenberg shares about IFS on the Healing Series episode 69 and IFS and relationships on episode 71 * Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy by Jay Earley, PhD
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I am honoured to be able to bring you Justin’s story today (this is part one, and we’ll be back next week with part two). Justin was labelled “difficult to adopt” because he is bi-racial. He tells us that he never had an interest in finding his biological family until he attended a very interesting week-long therapeutic workshop. Justin shares about a desire to add back his original surname and in part two we’ll see more of the fallout from that decision.
*TW: Suicide
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes * Please sign the support letter here adopteesforjustice.com/supportletter/ * Listen to Anissa’s story on Adoptees On - episode 147 - to understand how critical this issue of adoptee citizenship is
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Part two! We are back with more VERY real talk with Pam Cordano, MFT about estrangement from our adoptive parents. Pam teaches us how important it is for us to get clarity on what is actually possible in our relationships. We also address if they won’t change, it’s up to us - so what are we willing to change? Our amount of engagement in the relationship? The strength of our boundaries? Which ‘circle’ do they safely get to have access to? This is tough stuff! Thank you for listening and walking through this with us.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Connect With Us * Pam Cordano, MFT: pamcordano.com | yourmeaningful.life | Twitter | Instagram | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Pam Cordano, MFT returns to guide us through some thoughts on estrangement. Why does it ever get to the point that we’d consider going no-contact with our adoptive parents? Are adoptees just “too sensitive” and take everything personally? Even through challenging topics such as this one, Pam leads us with thoughtfulness, compassion, and helps us discover what’s most important.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pam Cordano, MFT: pamcordano.com | yourmeaningful.life | Twitter | Instagram | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Dr. Susan Branco is with us today and she is a force for good in our community. She shares an overview of her story and we get a chance to deeply focus on topics that she’s done an incredible amount of work and research on. Her research includes how counselors of colour deal with client microaggressions and ensuring adoption themes make their way into the core curriculum for future social workers and therapists. Dr. Branco shares more with us about her case study of the Colombian Adoption House which includes firsthand experiences of Colombian adoptees and what happens when they find out their adoption was illicit or black-market. Her passion for family preservation is evident when we go down the list of systemic problems in the adoption industry.
Full Show Notes Here
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Alice Stephens, the author of Famous Adopted People, joins us today! I was honoured to hear her describe her childhood which included years in Botswana, and she even shares a bit about her search in Korea for biological family. Of course, we talk about writing, publishing, and her book reviews; if you ever need a book recommendation for an adoptee-centric look at adoption, Alice is an expert.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Alice Stephens: www.famousadoptedpeople.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today I get to introduce you to Leigh Bailey. This is the second episode of our estrangement series. Leigh shares about her reunion and how it started to be about her adoptive family’s experience instead of her own. We talk about how trying to put up safe boundaries can be exhausting, and how do you even decide if estrangement is called for in the situation: spoiler alert - we can’t tell you what’s right for you!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Leigh Bailey: alwayslooking.blog | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are starting a short series on the topic of estrangement. This series isn’t meant to be a how-to undo estrangement or a “break up with your family” guide, it’s once again brought to you in the spirit of hoping to let you know you aren’t alone. I see you, and I acknowledge how hard and lonely this can be.
Today we’re going to hear from Kirsten Weatherford about how a memorable trip - a pilgrimage - helped Kirsten come out of the fog. Did reunion with her first mother accelerate her estrangement from her adoptive parents? We also wrestle with what it would take to even broach the subject of reunification if that was ever on the table.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Kirsten Weatherford: nomoremisfit.com | Instagram * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We’re back! For the first episode of 2021, we are talking adoptees in comics! Emily N. Bartz shares her personal story of being adopted from the Philippines, and then why she spent her childhood going back and forth between the US and her country of origin. We have a fascinating discussion about adoptees in comics, including a focus on her article about “Loki: I Can Turn into anything as long as it’s me”. We also talk about adoptees in academics and how much is available for us to learn from academic journals in particular.
Full Show Notes Here
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The holiday season is here and that means we get to ask one of our favourite adoptee therapists, Lesli A. Johnson, MFT, your questions! We can be juggling multiple families, boundary issues, estrangement and loneliness, not to mention the global pandemic. Lesli and Haley talk through some challenging situations and try to help you figure out what YOU want out of this season.
Full Show Notes Here
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Check out Lesli’s other holiday-themed episodes of Adoptees On: Surviving the Holidays E126 and E14 * Lesli’s course - Come Out of the Fog and Into Your Life: Rewire Your Brain for Resilience and Joy
Connect With Us * Lesli A. Johnson, MFT: www.askadoption.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Before I recorded this show, my guest shared her notes with me and I asked, “are you SURE you want to share this publicly on my podcast? It’s a goldmine of information about DNA!” Janet Weinreich-Keall is back, and when you hear her story, you’ll know why she’s a pro at searching. She walks us through how we should prepare to search, and then we dive into what DNA testing looks like, and how far the tech has come: making it easy and accessible for us to do our own searches. We also talk about the possible ramifications of having your DNA in a database - is your information really kept private?
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Weinreich-Keall: Instagram | Facebook | janetweinreichkeall.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we’re giving you a little peek behind the curtain! Haley and Carrie chat all about what they’ve learned from reading a ton of adoptee-authored books in 2020. We’re announcing our book club plans for 2021 and would love to have you join us.
We’re in the last few days of our sale for Patreon memberships! Sign up for one year and get a month free! http://www.adopteeson.com/partner Our sale ends on November 30, 2020.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Carrie Cahill Mulligan: ccmhats.square.site | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Have you ever wondered what being welcomed into your original extended family would feel like? Today Maeve Kelly is back and she shares her experiences of a whirlwind trip to Ireland to meet more cousins and aunts and uncles than you can imagine. After a rejection from her first mother, to be embraced by a cousin was transformative.
Two weeks left in the sale for Patreon memberships! Sign up for one year and get a month free! http://www.adopteeson.com/partner
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Maeve Kelly: Twitter * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Pam Cordano, MFT and I discuss anger. What is it and why are so many adoptees accused of being “angry adoptees”? We discuss the reasons we have for legitimately being angry. Pamela teaches us about different types of anger and gives us some practical exercises to work on. I find out I’ve been engaging in Spiritual Bypass, and why that is so toxic. Anger is a powerful emotion, let’s harness it to make it work for us, and not against us.
Announcing a three-week sale for Patreon memberships! Sign up for one year and get a month free! http://www.adopteeson.com/partner
Full Show Notes Here
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Today I’m honoured to introduce you to Bernie, a late discovery adoptee who has been working the past two years to learn about birth trauma and adoption trauma. Bernie and I talk about how he confirmed he was adopted, what patterns and challenges he had through his life that now he attributes to birth trauma, and what happens when the ‘validators’ of our memories are lost.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Bernie: adopteebernie (at) comcast.net * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Join us today, October 30, 2020, to remember adoptees we’ve lost, to acknowledge adoption trauma, and to highlight other pressing issues adoptees face. Our listeners share tributes to those they’ve lost, some share how adoption has impacted them personally, and you are invited to join us in a collective moment of silence to honour adopted people.
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Adoptee Remembrance Day - October 30, 2020 * What is Adoptee Remembrance Day? * Adoptee Remembrance Day Facebook Page * RSVP to the Adoptee Remembrance Day Event on Facebook * Activities to participate in throughout the day - this page also includes numerous ways to contact Crisis Hotlines in the US * Crisis Text Line: US & Canada 741741, UK 85258
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we will learn about an upcoming day that I think will become critically important to the adoptee community: we are talking with Pamela Karanova about ways to commemorate the first annual Adoptee Remembrance Day. Please join us on October 30, 2020 to honour adoptees we’ve lost, to acknowledge adoption trauma, and to highlight other pressing issues adoptees face.
Full Show Notes Here
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Today we are talking with Amanda Medina, creator of This Adoptee Life. Amanda tells us about how she came out of the adoption fog during the past few years, she shares what adoption separation from our ancestors looks like via a beautiful and heartbreaking symbol of a broken legacy, and we discuss her commitment to building community among adoptees.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Amanda Medina: thisadopteelife.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today I’m excited to welcome a fellow podcaster, Damon Davis, creator and host of the Who Am I Really? podcast. Damon gets a turn to share his story of search, reunion, and loss. We also chat about why reunions get held up as this mythical gold standard of heartwarming six o’clock news bait, and what we’ve learned from talking to hundreds of adoptees over the past few years.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Damon Davis: www.whoamireallypodcast.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Our guest today is Astrid Castro, founder of Adoption Mosaic. Astrid serves the adoption constellation through a variety of innovative trainings designed to highlight the adoptee experience. We discuss how she came to work in the adoption industry, the current state of ethics in adoption, and what it’s like working in such a challenging space, especially as an adopted person.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Astrid Castro: adoptionmosaic.com | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are celebrating highlighting adoptee voices for over four years, 144+ countries, and 500,000 downloads of the podcast. As Reshma McClintock (our special guest co-host of today’s show) shares, “I am not going to allow the world to speak for me any longer”. Join us as we continue to acknowledge that adoptee voices matter and need to be heard!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Reshma McClintock: Instagram | Facebook | reshmamcclintock.com | Calcutta is My Mother | Dear Adoption, * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Welcome Lauren J. Sharkey, author of Inconvenient Daughter! Lauren and I talk about how her memoir morphed into a novel and how searching for biological family wasn’t really something she thought about until it felt necessary as research for her novel. We also discuss how Lauren discovered the online adoptee community.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lauren J. Sharkey: ljsharks.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we welcome the creator of How To Be Adopted, Claire! Claire shares about experiencing postnatal depression when she had her first child, which was wrapped up in her process of coming out of the fog. We examine a certain popular adoptee reunion tv show for their inaccurate portrayal of reunions. Claire teaches us about the state of care in the UK and the various ways of contact she is allowed (and not allowed!) to have with her nieces and nephews.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Claire of How To Be Adopted: howtobeadopted.com | Twitter | Instagram * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Matthew Salesses is here today and I’m so thrilled to share our conversation with you. He has a ton of insightful things to share with us. We talk about how
coming out of the fog is an act of radicalization, we discuss issues of race, and why he’s chosen to be so open and vulnerable on Twitter. We also touch on Dad jokes, and why adoptees often have a darker sense of humour.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Matthew Salesses: Twitter | Instagram | matthewsalesses.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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It’s a great honour to bring to you the creative powerhouse JS Lee. We talk about racism, dealing with multiple complex traumas, and the challenge of how we attribute our resilience as adopted people.
Full Show Notes Here
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We finish our conversation with Stephanie Oyler, MSW, LSW and Amanda Transue-Woolston, MSS, LSW about the recent losses of their mothers. This is part two of a two-part series where we hear from Stephanie and Amanda about the loss of first mothers and adoptive mothers, both in the practical sense and about the psychological impacts. Learn from their wisdom about a topic that often gets avoided: losses all the way through an adoptee’s lifespan.
Full Show Notes Here
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Mother loss. Doesn’t that say it all? We get the extraordinary honour of hearing from Stephanie Oyler, MSW, LSW and Amanda Transue-Woolston, MSS, LSW about the recent deaths that have impacted them in tremendous ways. This is part one of a two-part series where we learn from Stephanie and Amanda about the loss of first mothers and adoptive mothers, both in the practical sense and about the psychological impacts. Join us for this powerful conversation.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Stephanie Oyler, MSW, LSW: adopteelitllc.com | Instagram | Facebook * Amanda Transue-Woolston, MSS, LSW: declassifiedadoptee.com | amandawoolston.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we welcome Julayne Lee, author of Not My White Savior. Julayne shares what drew her to visit Korea for the first time in her thirties and later how she spent three years there, working, traveling, and writing. We also discuss adoptee activism and the role anger can play in our work.
Full Show Notes Here
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On the latest episode of Adoptees On, we bring you some critical information about thousands of adoptees who are shockingly without citizenship. You will hear Anissa Druesedow’s powerful story of being adopted and brought to the United States, finding out she doesn’t have citizenship, and what lead to her deportation. Kristopher Larsen, Executive Director of Adoptees For Justice, also joins us to let us know how we can impact this movement and advocate for the Adoptee Citizenship Act.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Adoptees For Justice | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we meet Abby Forero-Hilty, a Colombian adoptee now living in Canada. We talk about the importance of decolonization, the impact of finding yourself prior to searching for first family, and she shares her thoughts on connecting with other adoptees on a healing journey. Next, we shift into discussing the film Mum’s The Word, and we even have an interview with the Director and Executive Producer, Colin Scheyen. A big congratulations to Colin and his team for winning a Golden Sheaf Award in the Mental Health category at the Yorkton Film Festival last night!
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I’ve been quiet as I’ve watched things unfold (we’ve been in the middle of moving during the pandemic, what timing). In searching for the perfect words to say, I’m obviously failing. So I’m trying to do the next right thing, which is to point you towards my fellow podcasters and adoptees who are BIPOC to listen and learn from, as I am. This is not to put the onus on them to teach us - this is to put the onus back on us to be active in learning to be allies and anti-racist. I can literally think of a very recent moment where I failed a friend in an all-too-common scenario, and I promise I won’t let that happen again.
I have a brief minisode for you today and we’ll be back next week with a new full-length episode. Please listen and share your recommendations for other BIPOC adoptees who we should be following and learning from.
Show Notes
Recommended Resources * Damon Davis - Who Am I Really? Podcast * April Dinwoodie - Born in June, Raised in April * Jessenia Parmer - I Am Adopted - Facebook | Instagram * Hannah Matthews, M.S.Ed - Hey TRA - Instagram
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we welcome Karri of The Invisible Threads Blog. Karri and I talk about reunion with biological parents and siblings, what her relationships really look like right now. We also talk about some personal struggles with maintaining relationships and how we’ve both built chosen community into our lives.
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Today we are talking with Sara Easterly about her memoir Searching for Mom. Sara shares how her relationship with her adoptive mother changed over the years, how adoption shaped her view of what motherhood means, and what that looks like for her today.
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Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT is back on the podcast and we are talking about an issue I’ve heard about from many adoptees, especially during this unprecedented time. We talk about using food as a comfort, feeling scared or anxious that there won’t be enough, and how this time is bringing back memories of food hoarding from childhood. Janet teaches us about the “belly brain”, why many of us struggle with using food or other oral stimuli as comfort, and she gives us an exercise to practice grounding.
I want to add an acknowledgment that in our world there are people with literal food insecurity and that I understand this discussion does come from a place of privilege. If you are financially able to, I would encourage you to support an organization that you trust that is working to prevent hunger. Adoptees On has made a donation to our local food bank for this episode.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT: experiencecourage.com | Twitter | Instagram | Experience Courage on Facebook | Janet on Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Nelle Doux shares her story of becoming her own advocate and, as she calls it, a private investigator to find her biological father and the truth about her origins. We discuss her experiences of racism even from a young age and the complete bewilderment Doux had from not knowing her racial identity.
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Kevin Barhydt shares that it wasn’t until unpacking the multiple traumas of his addiction and childhood sexual abuse, that he uncovered adoption trauma that was there since his relinquishment. Kevin and I also talk about how community support has helped him thrive and grow.
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Alison Malee shares her story of being adopted in the nineties, and how she has been processing her recent discoveries via DNA testing. These have brought about great shifts in identity and also allowed her to connect with members of her first family.
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Jennifer Dyan Ghoston is here to share her story with us. Jennifer tells us about the moment she opened her original birth certificate, her search for her biological family, and what reunion with extended family really looks like for her today.
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Pam Cordano, MFT is here to share some insights from her brand new book, 10 Foundations For a Meaningful Life (No Matter What’s Happened). Pam reveals some personal stories to teach us about how to find and understand our true worth.
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Pam Cordano, MFT is here to share some insights from her brand new book, 10 Foundations For a Meaningful Life (No Matter What’s Happened). Pam reveals some personal stories to teach us about how to find and understand our true worth.
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Marta Isabella Sierra Drachenberg, LMHC is back on the Healing Series sharing more intimate moments from her reunion with her family in Colombia. She teaches us about how Internal Family Systems saved her relationship with her mother. You don’t want to miss this very personal episode with some brilliant insights from Marta.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Isabella Sierra Drachenberg, LMHC: marta.drachenberg [at] gmail [dot] com | martadrachenberglmhc.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Marta Isabella Sierra Drachenberg, LMHC is back on the Healing Series! Marta recently returned from a year-long trip to Columbia, her country of origin. She shares some intimate moments of what cross-cultural reunion/reunification looks like and she teaches us about some common barriers in reunion we need to be on alert for.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Isabella Sierra Drachenberg, LMHC: marta.drachenberg [at] gmail [dot] com | martadrachenberglmhc.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Jenny Heijun Wills is our guest today, the author of the memoir Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related. We talk about adoption in literature, why it’s so important to elevate the adoptee voice and Jenny explains what does it really mean when someone asks us “what do your adoptive parents think about all this”.
You can listen right here (turn up your sound 🔊🔊🔊) or search Adoptees On in any podcast app!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Jenny Heijun Wills: Twitter | Instagram | www.jennyheijunwills.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Melanie Chung-Sherman, LCSW-S is back with us on the Healing Series sharing her wisdom. Melanie and Haley continue the conversation about safety in advocacy and activism, holding boundaries, and the cost of our emotional labour.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Melanie Chung-Sherman, LCSW-S: Facebook | mcscounsel.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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I can’t wait to share my discussion with Melanie Chung-Sherman, LCSW-S with you. Melanie teaches us about responding to microaggressions while keeping ourselves safe. This is critical listening, especially for anyone working in adoptee advocacy.
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Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom, author of the stunning graphic memoir called Palimpsest: Documents From a Korean Adoption is our guest. She shares some of her story with us and then we dive into a conversation about racism, coming out of the adoption fog, what activism means to Lisa, and how she found her voice.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lisa Wool-Rim Sjöblom: Instagram | woolrim.wordpress.com | www.patreon.com/woolrim * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Cathy Caputo is our first guest of the new year and she has quite a surprising story, so I’m not going to spoil anything here. We talk about closed adoption, grief and loss, and what it’s for meant for Cathy to start an in-person adoptee community.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Cathy Caputo: Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today the creator of Not Your Orphan is sharing their story with us, Blake Gibbins is here! Blake and I talk about what happened three years ago to kick him out of the fog, we discuss grief and some losses Blake experienced earlier this year, and we move into a discussion about activism, cognitive dissonance and what it means to be queer and an adoptee.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Blake Gibbbins: Not Your Orphan on YouTube | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Lilly Schmaltz is with us today, you may know her as Adoptee Lilly on YouTube. Lilly shares her story of what pulled her into adoptee advocacy and why she’s so adamant about pushing back against the saviour narrative. We also get into some deeply personal topics including how her broken engagement brought up her abandonment all over again and what she does to pursue healing.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lilly Schmaltz: YouTube | Instagram | Facebook | lfsmusings.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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The holiday season is here and some of us could really use the support. In this episode, we ask one of our favourite adoptee therapists, Lesli A. Johnson, MFT, your questions about how to navigate the holidays! We collected all your DMs, emails, and comments and I peppered Lesli with scenarios about gift-giving, family gatherings, how to create our own traditions when estranged…get ready to have some practical takeaways from this episode.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lesli A. Johnson, MFT: www.askadoption.com | www.yourmindfulbrain.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Stephanie Tait shares her story of being adopted from foster care, her childhood growing up in a conservative evangelical family, and navigating secondary rejection via ghosting by her birth mother. We also dive into some challenging questions surrounding the complexity of adoption and the church and how we can combat that traditional white saviour narrative.
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It is our honour to welcome Deanna Shrodes to the podcast. Deanna and I talk about her decades-long reunion with her biological mother and her mother’s heartbreaking promise to take her birthfather’s name to the grave. We hear about her lengthy DNA search and the challenging feelings that come along with more questions than answers. Deanna is a pastor and so, of course, we touch on adoption and the church and the literal ways Deanna is demonstrating what family preservation looks like.
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We are back with Lesli A. Johnson, MFT! In this Healing Series episode, we are examining the concept of reunion. Why did “they” pick 18 as the age for when adoptees are supposedly ready to reunite or have contact? What does navigating contact look like in a semi-open adoption as a child or teenager? As we reflect back on our own closed adoptions, what would have been more helpful for us? Lesli also takes us behind the curtain and shares some themes that she sees her clients expressing about reunion.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lesli A. Johnson, MFT: www.askadoption.com | www.yourmindfulbrain.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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A mashup of true crime and disenfranchised grief? Yes! We are learning about adoptee parricide from Dr. Tracy Carlis, a clinical psychologist who I’ve had the absolute honour of learning from in-person. In this episode, Dr. Carlis shares her personal story of search and reunion, including some exciting recent DNA search updates. Then we shift the conversation to her work in forensic psychology and she teaches us what we can glean from some incredibly tragic situations of adoptee parricide.
TW: We are going to discuss violence graphically at a few points during this episode, including a mention of sexual violence.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Tracy Carlis: drtracylcarlis.com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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In this episode of the podcast, Dr. Sue Green, a psychologist from Australia who was actively involved in the landmark Victorian Adoption Act of 1984 shares her personal story with us. We dig into what lead her to become an adoptee advocate, who now teaches other therapists and mental health professionals how to truly be adoptee-competent in working with our loss and trauma. We also touch on some interesting facts about adoption in Australia that will likely surprise you.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Sue Green: vanish.org.au | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Dear Adoption, is joining up with Adoptees On again today! Reshma McClintock, the founder of Dear Adoption, is back and she brought us another letter that we are sure most adopted people will relate to. We also talk about a recent trip to Washington, DC that Reshma was a part of, where for the first time adult adoptee voices were invited and represented in the adoption conversation.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Reshma McClintock: Instagram | Facebook | reshmamcclintock.com | Calcutta is My Mother | Dear Adoption, * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Mary O'Rourke shares the difficult news she received in her non-identifying information at age 21. We discuss her reunion, the added complexity of coming out twice as queer, and how she ended up finding a grief support group and an adoption-competent therapist.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Mary O'Rourke: Instagram * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Liz shares about the shift her life took in her late thirties as she started to examine her adoption more closely. We talk about how Liz believes we can reveal who we truly are through writing, and how building our own narrative instead of accepting the ones that are placed on us can bring about tremendous growth.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Liz DeBetta: www.lizdebetta.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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You may remember Jemma’s first appearance on the podcast where her biological mother adopted Jemma back. Well, things have changed quite a bit from that happy ending. Jemma felt it was crucial for adoptees to know the ups and downs that reunion can bring over the years.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Jemma Sullivan Twitter | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Revisiting a fave episode... next week we have an update from Jemma!
Can you really be adopted back into your family of origin? Today I get to introduce you to Jemma Sullivan, and she shares some incredibly painful realities of having a narcissistic adoptive parent, it’s not all gloom and doom though - I promise you need to wait to hear what happens at the beginning of Jemma’s new chapter with her first mother.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Revisiting another fave Healing Series episode.
Adoptees often struggle in intimate-partner relationships because we had our trust broken at a very early age. In this episode of the healing series, Marta Drachenberg, LMHC, and Haley discuss some personal examples of relationship issues that seem to keep repeating themselves. Marta teaches us what to look out for, how attachment styles affect our relationships, and how some disagreements with our partners can actually be caused by adoption-issues in disguise.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Drachenberg, LMHC: marta.drachenberg [at] gmail [dot] com | http://martadrachenberglmhc.com/ * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Revisiting a fave Healing Series episode today!
Marta Drachenberg, LMHC, teaches us about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, something she feels is particularly effective for adoptees. Marta explains that our best advocate and healer is found within ourselves! IFS helps us to discover the 8 Cs that come with self-leadership: calm, creativity, compassion, curiosity, courage, clarity, connectedness, and confidence. If traditional talk therapy has not been working for you, Internal Family Systems may be a good fit.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Drachenberg, LMHC: marta.drachenberg [at] gmail [dot] com | http://martadrachenberglmhc.com/ * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Revisiting a fave episode from 2018.
Listen in to an incredibly intimate conversation between Janet Weinreich-Keall and both of her fathers, Emil Weinreich, and Gordon Keall. We discuss Emil’s shock of discovering he was a father to an adult daughter, how Gordon embraced Emil with open arms, and the inspiring relationship they’ve all built together. We also ponder, where are all the fathers?
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Weinreich-Keall: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | janetweinreichkeall.com * Anne Heffron: Beyond Adoption: You Facebook | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram 1 and 2! | Email: anneheffron(at)gmail(dot)com | anneheffron.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Revisiting a favourite episode from 2018!
Listen as Janet Weinreich-Keall shares how she had to rely on the media and complete strangers to help her unravel the largest known case of serial abandonment in the world. We discuss the emotional toll 21 years of searching took on her, how painful it was to make phone calls over and over that would forever change people’s lives, and how one first name would unlock the rest of her story. This is both a heartbreaking and incredibly intimate episode with a hope-filled twist! Next week Janet will be back with two special guests and we’ll get to hear the rest of her story in part two of our finale!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Weinreich-Keall: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | janetweinreichkeall.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT is back to address grief. This time she is teaching us about experiencing grief as an adult adoptee. Have you lost a loved one recently? Revisiting grief as an adult adoptee is a totally different ballgame. We also discuss what can happen to us if we stuff down our feelings instead of processing them.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT: www.experiencecourage.com | Twitter | Instagram | Experience Courage on Facebook | Janet on Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today’s phenomenal guest you NEED to hear from is Mariama J. Lockington, author of For Black Girls Like Me (which releases this month on July 30, 2019). We talk about her experiences growing up as a transracial adoptee, how writing was always one of her passions, and Sweet Valley High may have come up. I can’t wait for you to hear this interview. It’s one of our favourites and I promise you’re going to want to order For Black Girls Like Me immediately!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Mariama J. Lockington: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | www.forblackgirlslikeme.com | www.mariamajlockington.com | * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT teaches us all about grief. Perhaps some of the anger you’ve been experiencing is actually masking some deep grief. We talk about disenfranchised grief and why we think it is a critical topic for adoptees to understand.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT: www.experiencecourage.com | Twitter | Instagram | Experience Courage on Facebook | Janet on Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are revisiting another amazing interview from 2018!
One of our favourite therapists, Pam Cordano is back! This time we chat with Pam and her two adult daughters, Sarah and Lauren. Pam’s daughters tell us all about what it was like for them to grow up with a mother who was adopted. We discuss how Pam chose to parent differently than her adoptive parents, what were some positive and negative things about living with an adoptee in the house, and what their family has done to build healthy relationships with each other, especially in the teen through young adult years.
Full Show Notes Here
Revisiting a favourite episode from 2018! It’s an honour to bring you this mother/daughter duo, Fleurette and Amy, for an in-depth view of a long-term reunion. We talk about the unusual circumstances surrounding Amy’s adoption, the disappointment they both felt after their first official in-person meeting, how bringing grandkids into the equation shifted their relationship, and how many years it took them before they felt their reunion relationship was “normal”. Spoiler alert - it was a loooong time.
Full show notes here
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Macy Oosthuizen, LCSW shares her story with us, and I may have gasped in shock a few times! Macy also teaches us the reasons so many adopted people feel disconnected or unmoored, and what we can do to feel anchored at last. This episode is a must-listen! You’ll be surprised by the twists in Macy’s story as she sought after the truth, and wowed by her wisdom and insights as a therapist.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Macy Oosthuizen, LCSW: www.centerformindfulfamilies.com | www.floridaacts.com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Inez Cook shares her story with us, how she spent time searching for identity all around the world and how she came to find it back in Canada. We discuss finding out about the sixties scoop as an adult, the power and importance of food as a way to explore her culture and how her new book will be available to educate children across Canada about the sixties scoop.
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We are back with Lesli A. Johnson, MFT answering your questions about navigating boundaries as an adopted person. We address boundaries with adoptive parents, money issues in reunion, and we wrap up with Lesli’s tips for saying no.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lesli A. Johnson, MFT: leslijohnson.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are continuing our series on the Canadian Sixties Scoop, and today I’m honoured to introduce you to Christine Miskonoondinkwie Smith. Christine shares her story of being apprehended from her original family, adopted with her sister, and then ultimately going back into care as a young girl. She tells us about how she reconnected with her indigenous heritage and how some influential role models made all the difference for her.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Christine Miskonoodinkwe Smith: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | chrissy.miskonoodinkwesmith[at]gmail[dot]com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Do you struggle with establishing guidelines or “edges” in relationships? Lesli A. Johnson, MFT is back on the podcast to answer your questions about navigating boundaries. Lesli gives us some helpful tips in how to open up a conversation around boundaries even when it’s scary. Most of this show’s questions were related to navigating reunion which can be so tricky!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Lesli A. Johnson, MFT: leslijohnson.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are starting a new series focusing on the Canadian Sixties Scoop, and if you’re not familiar yet with that terminology, my guest today, Dr. Raven Sinclair is a sought-after expert in this area. Dr. Sinclair shares some of her personal story with us, how she re-discovered her indigenous culture, and she teaches us about the Sixties Scoop. We also talk about how to connect with other Sixties Scoop survivors and access information about the Sixties Scoop Settlement.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Raven Sinclair: Twitter | Facebook | International Indigenous Speakers Bureau | University of Regina * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Are you incredibly hard on yourself? Adopted people often struggle with loving ourselves because our very first experiences were ones of rejection. One way to cultivate self-worth is self-compassion. Kristin Jones, CMHC teaches us what self-compassion looks like, why adopted people could really benefit from this practice, and she also walks us through a self-compassion exercise. I’m guessing you’re going to want to replay this episode a few times to soak in all of Kristin’s wisdom!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Kristin Jones, CMHC: www.tradewindscounseling.com | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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This is a special episode where I bring you some live on-the-spot-recordings from the American Adoption Congress Conference in Washington, DC. I talked with attendees and presenters about their highlights and key takeaways from the conference (encompassing personal, legislative work, and professional topics). I share about the Adoptees On listener meet-up and a clip from my keynote speech. This episode also includes an uncomfortable update about an incredibly challenging moment during the conference.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Dear Adoption, is joining up with Adoptees On today! Reshma McClintock, the founder of Dear Adoption, brought a letter that we explore together. We discuss the power of hearing this letter vs. reading it, the impact of the words shared, and the insight and wisdom the anonymous letter writer has. Join us as we explore a letter that we are sure most adopted people will relate to.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Reshma McClintock: Instagram | Facebook | reshmamcclintock.com | Calcutta is My Mother | Dear Adoption, * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT is back and talking with us about when relinquishment and adoption is not our only trauma. Janet teaches us about how plastic our brains are, we talk about the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) questionnaire and we even discuss Play Therapy! Janet will leave you feeling hopeful even while discussing challenging topics.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT: www.experiencecourage.com | Twitter | Instagram | Experience Courage on Facebook | Janet on Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are welcoming back a guest from season 1, Becky Drinnen. Becky shares some life and reunion updates with us, including some tears and very special moments, and then we shift gears and talk about what adoptee activism and advocacy really look like. If you’ve ever wondered what you can do to get involved, this is the episode for you!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Becky Conrad Drinnen: Facebook | puzzlesandpossibilities.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Last week Dr. Julie Lopez taught us why is it so important for adopted people to understand implicit memory. Today she returns to Adoptees On to teach us about the PACT Method which can empower you to find the hidden roadblocks in your implicit memory!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Julie Lopez: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | drjulielopez.com | www.vivapartnership.com | resilientbrainproject.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Why is it so important for adopted people to understand implicit memory? Dr. Julie Lopez returns to Adoptees On to teach us how unhealthy patterns in our behaviour can be linked back to the wiring in our implicit memory AND what we can do about it!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Julie Lopez: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | drjulielopez.com | www.vivapartnership.com | resilientbrainproject.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Maeve Kelly is back on the show giving us some huge updates. She was a favourite guest in Season 1 of the podcast, sharing about her secondary rejection from her first mother. Maeve shares how she reached out to her half-siblings, what it took for her to face the possibility of more rejections, and how DNA is leaving no room for secrets in adoption anymore. There is also a brand new update in her search for her biological father.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Maeve Kelly: Twitter | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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How can you cope when your reunion fails? Pam Cordano, MFT returns to the Healing Series to help us acknowledge the pain of reunion failure. She gives us some helpful tools to survive secondary rejection, being ghosted, or even when you’re the one to pull the plug after a lukewarm reception.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pamela Cordano, MFT: www.pamelacordanomft.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net for info on the Adoptee Healing Retreat or the Pilgrimage for Women * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today my dear friend Reshma McClintock, creator of Dear Adoption, and Producer, Co-Director, and Subject of the documentary, Calcutta is My Mother is here to celebrate 100 episodes with us! I asked Reshma to be the guest for my 100th episode because she is passionate about the same thing as I am, adoptee voices. Reshma shares what shifted her view of adoption, what it’s like for her to talk about India and adoption with her daughter, and the paradox of navigating cultural appropriation for a transracially adopted person.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Reshma McClintock: Instagram | Facebook | reshmamcclintock.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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What happens when your reunion fails? Pam Cordano, MFT returns to the Healing Series to help us focus in on ways we can find our identity without a connection to our biological family.
This is part one of a two-part When Reunion Fails, part two will air on March 1, so make sure you’re subscribed!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pamela Cordano, MFT: www.pamelacordanomft.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net for info on the Adoptee Healing Retreat or the Pilgrimage for Women * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Karen Pickell, author of An Adoptee Lexicon, shares candidly about how growing up she felt intensely different than her adoptive family. We talk about how challenging it is to know who you are when you don’t know where you came from. Karen also tells us the realities of what adoption reunion really looks like for her and what role nature vs nurture plays in her life.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Karen Pickell: Twitter | Facebook | karenpickell.com | adopteereading.com * Haley speaking in Washington, DC: April 2019 americanadoptioncongress.org * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are wrapping up the Adoptees On addiction series with Sara-Jayne King, author of Killing Karoline. SJ shares her story, including some vulnerable moments discussing secondary rejection, all the different ways addiction showed up in her life, and incredibly, SJ stuns me with a story I absolutely was not expecting.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Sara-Jayne King: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we continue on in the Adoptees On Addiction series. I’m excited to introduce you to Becca who was adopted in-family, and if you’re an avid listener, you’re going to recognize some of the sisters we chat about in Becca’s story! Becca struggled with some early losses and shares about her troubled actions while in active addiction to meth. Listen to hear how her family, including her biological mother, walked alongside her to a place of recovery.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Becca King: Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we’re continuing on in the Adoptees On Addiction series and in this episode, I get to introduce you to my Adoptees Connect co-leader Sean. Sean shares his story of alcohol addiction, the moment of clarity that helped him realize he had a problem and somehow it includes Justin Bieber, so wait for that! Sean and I also discuss the lessons he continues to learn about the impact of adoption on his life.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Sean: Twitter * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Sophia and I discuss her journey of sobriety, reunion, and years of experience building healthy boundaries. After a whirlwind reunion, Sophia and her first father developed a very deep connection, and one of the ways they bonded was through an understanding of addiction and recovery, and what it took for both of them to hold on to their sobriety. Sophia also gives us some wise advice about navigating the reunion relationship when a first parent is in active addiction.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Sophia: email adopteesrecovering (at) gmail (dot) com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today author David B. Bohl, an independent addiction consultant and licensed clinical substance abuse counsellor, is here to share his story with us. David and I discuss his experiences of alcohol addiction and sobriety, how our lives as adoptees are so much more than just our adoption experience, and what is working right now in the recovery field.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * David B. Bohl: davidbbohl.com | Twitter | Medium | Facebook | LinkedIn * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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We are continuing our look at adoption and addiction. Today Stuart Watson shares his story of how he used his investigative journalist skills to find his biological parents at age 45 and his discovery that alcoholism and trauma were inextricably linked in his DNA.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Stuart Watson: Twitter | Facebook | Linked In | helen.movie * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we launch the newest series of Adoptees On where we are focusing on addiction and recovery. Harris Coltrain shares his story of alcohol and drug addiction and how fatherhood was his motivation to get clean and sober. We also talk about how challenging mainstream recovery programs can be for adopted people where our experiences as adoptees with adoption trauma may be invalidated.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Harris Coltrain: Email harrisc70 (at) yahoo (dot) com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today hear about the newest amazing resource for adoptees: Adoptees Connect and their peer-led support groups! The founder, Pamela Karanova, shares with us why she started Adoptees Connect, the power of meeting in-person with other adopted people, and why peer-led support groups for adoptees can become a lifeline for us.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pamela Karanova: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | adopteeinrecovery.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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On today’s healing episode we are learning about somatic therapy. Jennifer Griesbach, LCSW, teaches us what it is, what it looks like practically in a therapy appointment and why is it so effective for adoptees in particular. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body, this is the episode for you!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Jennifer Griesbach, LCSW: www.jennifergriesbach.com | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we release part two of our two-part season four finale!
Listen in to an incredibly intimate conversation between Janet Weinreich-Keall and both of her fathers, Emil Weinreich, and Gordon Keall. We discuss Emil’s shock of discovering he was a father to an adult daughter, how Gordon embraced Emil with open arms, and the inspiring relationship they’ve all built together. We also ponder, 'where are all the fathers?'
Find out what we’ll be covering in the next Adoptees On series, and come back to this post to tell us what your favourite recommended resources are for fathers.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Weinreich-Keall: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | janetweinreichkeall.com * Anne Heffron: Beyond Adoption: You Facebook | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram 1 and 2! | Email: anneheffron(at)gmail(dot)com | anneheffron.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today is part one of our two-part season four finale!
Listen as Janet Weinreich-Keall shares how she had to rely on the media and complete strangers to help her unravel the largest known case of serial abandonment in the world. We discuss the emotional toll 21 years of searching took on her, how painful it was to make phone calls over and over that would forever change people’s lives, and how one first name would unlock the rest of her story. This is both a heartbreaking and incredibly intimate episode with a hope-filled twist! Next week Janet will be back with two special guests and we’ll get to hear the rest of her story in part two of our finale!
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Weinreich-Keall: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | janetweinreichkeall.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Haley is getting very vulnerable with Linda, her biological father’s wife, who Haley now calls Mom. Linda and Haley discuss how their expectations for reunion were starkly different, how the entire family went through some very rocky times together and what ultimately brought them to a healthy relationship. Haley’s brother also shares some of his thoughts on the surprise of hearing he had an older sister and what it looks like to be an uncle to Haley’s young kids.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * You can contact Linda through any of Haley’s links below and she’ll pass on the message. * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today one of our favourite therapists, Pam Cordano is back! This time we chat with Pam and her two adult daughters, Sarah and Lauren. Pam’s daughters tell us all about what it was like for them to grow up with a mother who was adopted. We discuss how Pam chose to parent differently than her adoptive parents, what were some positive and negative things about living with an adoptee in the house, and what their family has done to build healthy relationships with each other, especially in the teen through young adult years.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pamela Cordano, MFT: www.pamelacordanomft.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net for info on the Adoptee Healing Retreat or the Pilgrimage for Women * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Nicole Chung shares with us about the complexities of growing up distinctly different from your adoptive family. In her new memoir, All You Can Ever Know, she explores her experience of pregnancy, search, and reunion which happen simultaneously. We discuss grief in adoption as Nicole recounts how she lost her adoptive father just as she was finishing up her final manuscript of All You Can Ever Know.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Nicole Chung: Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads | nicolechung.net * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT is back to address grief. This time she is teaching us about experiencing grief as an adult adoptee. Have you lost a loved one recently? Revisiting grief as an adult adoptee is a totally different ballgame. We also discuss what can happen to us if we stuff down our feelings instead of processing them.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT: www.experiencecourage.com | Twitter | Instagram | Experience Courage on Facebook | Janet on Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Here’s an insider’s look at the challenges of adding a step-parent into your life. Many children navigate this in our society, but when you’re adopted, this adds an entirely new layer of complexity.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Peggy Galdamez: Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT teaches us all about grief. Perhaps some of the anger you’ve been experiencing is actually masking some deep grief. We talk about disenfranchised grief and why we think it is a critical topic for adoptees to understand.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Janet Nordine, MS, LMFT: www.experiencecourage.com | Twitter | Instagram | Experience Courage on Facebook | Janet on Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we are going to look at a reunion between a mother and daughter, and how their guiding principles have helped build a strong and healthy connection over the past three years.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marni Metzler Hall: Facebook * To connect with Karen you can send Marni a message on Facebook and she’ll connect you via email * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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What happens when you are so hopeful about connecting with your first mother but then you discover they’re already gone? Today Donna shares her story of searching for her birth family and what happens when she finds out some very sobering details of her birth mother’s life.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Donna: Email adoptee3 [at] gmail [dot] com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Pam Greenstone, MA, LPC teaches us how to find a therapy group in our area. Pam gives us some ideas for finding out if the group therapist is adoption-competent, what to do if they aren’t, and tips for finding a safe group to express your adoptee-related concerns.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pam Greenstone, MA, LPC: www.pgreenstonetherapy.com | email pamgreenstone (at) me (dot) com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Pam Greenstone, MA, LPC teaches us what group therapy is all about. You won’t believe the amazing list of therapeutic factors Pam explains come from healing in community. We also learn about why group therapy can be so beneficial for adoptees specifically.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Pam Greenstone, MA, LPC: www.pgreenstonetherapy.com | email pamgreenstone (at) me (dot) com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we are exploring another mother and daughter relationship. Hea was adopted from Korea but didn’t really start exploring her Korean heritage until her daughter Emma started getting curious. Hea shares about how her relationship with Emma spurred them both to process what being adopted really means.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Hea Ryun Garza: Instagram | Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Dr. Julie Lopez, PhD, LICSW teaches us about Brainspotting. I know, it sounds a little bit woo woo…how on earth is our eye position related to our emotional and psychological brain mapping? Listen and you’ll know what to expect when you try out this powerful trauma-sensitive approach.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Julie Lopez: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | www.vivapartnership.com | resilientbrainproject.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we are going to get to know Carrie Anspach, as she shares with us about her experience of early motherhood. We talk about her pregnancy and birth experience, how she experienced a relationship with her daughter before she even arrived, and how becoming a mother dramatically changed her understanding of being an adopted person in this world.
Full Show Notes Here
Recommended Resources * The Pain of Infertility and Why I Won’t Adopt by JS Lee and Keurium by JS Lee * Andrea Joyce Heimer artist * Centering in Pottery, Poetry, and the Person by M.C. Richards * Parenting As Adoptees by Adam Chau and Kevin Ost-Vollmers
Connect With Us * Carrie Anspach: Facebook | dirtygirlpottery.wordpress.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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How often have we joked about how expensive therapy is? What do we do when we’re overwhelmed, feeling lost and have limited resources? Today Dr. Julie Lopez, PhD, LICSW tells us about her new initiative, The Resilient Brain Project. Where else can you find a comprehensive library of free apps, videos, playlists, research, and more that have been vetted by expert adoption-competent mental health providers? Listen in as Dr. Julie gives us an overview of what you can find for free over at The Resilient Brain Project.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Dr. Julie Lopez: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | www.vivapartnership.com | resilientbrainproject.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Alice shares her experiences of secrets in an in-family adoption and also how her recent reunion with her biological father alerted her to some of the damaging ways her adoptive mother behaved. Alice and I talk about signs of narcissism and she walks us through some real-life examples of how this behaviour showed up in her life, and what she’s done to walk away from the toxicity.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Alice: Send a note to the Adoptees On page and I will forward it on * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Adoptees often struggle in intimate-partner relationships because we had our trust broken at a very early age. In this episode of the healing series, Marta Drachenberg, LMHC, and Haley discuss some personal examples of relationship issues that seem to keep repeating themselves. Marta teaches us what to look out for, how attachment styles affect our relationships, and how some disagreements with our partners can actually be caused by adoption-issues in disguise.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Drachenberg, LMHC: marta.drachenberg [at] gmail [dot] com | http://martadrachenberglmhc.com/ * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today we talk about what happens when two adopted people get married to each other. Stephani is candid with us about some of what triggers her and her husband, and how that can escalate quickly. She also shares about how being in Internal Family Systems therapy together has been a game-changer for their relationship.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Stephani Harris: Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Marta Drachenberg, LMHC, teaches us about the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, something she feels is particularly effective for adoptees. Marta explains that our best advocate and healer is found within ourselves! IFS helps us to discover the 8 Cs that come with self-leadership: calm, creativity, compassion, curiosity, courage, clarity, connectedness, and confidence. If traditional talk therapy has not been working for you, Internal Family Systems may be a good fit.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Marta Drachenberg: marta.drachenberg [at] gmail [dot] com | http://martadrachenberglmhc.com/ * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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It’s an honour to bring you this mother/daughter duo, Fleurette and Amy, for an in-depth view of a long-term reunion. We talk about the unusual circumstances surrounding Amy’s adoption, the disappointment they both felt after their first official in-person meeting, how bringing grandkids into the equation shifted their relationship, and how many years it took them before they felt their reunion relationship was “normal”. Spoiler alert - it was a loooong time.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Amy Crossland: Instagram | Facebook | amynicrn [at] gmail [dot] com * Fleurette Gallais: Facebook | ffg.gallais [at] gmail [dot] com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Rebekah Henson and Mary Anna King give us an insider’s view of their reunion as two of seven siblings separated by adoption. Expect lots of laughter as we get invited into some inside jokes, and they share practical examples of how they maintain their relationships with each other even while living in seven different states across the country.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Rebekah Henson: Twitter | Instagram | Medium * Mary Anna King: Twitter | maryannaking.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Today you are invited into a conversation between Anne Heffron and her ex-husband Ryan Iwanaga. They tell us about their marriage, the things that pulled them apart, and we talk about what they’ve done since their divorce in order to co-parent well and have a peaceful relationship as friends.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Anne Heffron: Twitter | Facebook | Instagram 1 and 2! | Email: anneheffron(at)gmail(dot)com | anneheffron.com * Ryan Iwanaga: Facebook * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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How many times have you thought, “I’m a mistake, I don’t belong here”? Pamela Cordano, MFT, tells us about how she first encountered MeaningWork and how it can help us access inspiration and joy in our lives. If you’ve ever felt disconnected, alone, or stuck, this conversation will inspire you to take a look at your life with a different lens. Pam teaches us about Viktor Frankl’s work and how it can align perfectly with an adoptee looking to build resilience and strength.
Find full show notes here!
Connect With Us * Pamela Cordano, MFT: www.pamelacordanomft.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net for info on the Adoptee Healing Retreat or the Pilgrimage for Women * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) can be a controversial and uncomfortable subject to broach, but we are exploring the topic today. Today Jane shares her personal experience of a GSA relationship with a sibling and Leslie Pate Mackinnon, LCSW brings her professional expertise to the topic. Some estimates are up to half of all adoptees in reunion feel some sort of attraction to a genetic family member, which Leslie believes is likely a search for attachment. We recommend where to go for support and we try to examine GSA in a safe way, without blame or shame.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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What do you do when you get triggered? Pamela Cordano, MFT gives us a few simple, yet powerful tools to stock in our triggered triage kit. This is a must-listen for anyone who has experienced the intensity of a triggering moment and felt helpless and stuck in overwhelm.
Full Show Notes Here
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- Pamela Cordano, MFT: www.pamelacordanomft.com | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Email pcordano(at)comcast(dot)net for info on the Adoptee Healing Retreat or the Pilgrimage for Women
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Doug Umberger has spent hours and hours interviewing adoptees to find out how digital media has impacted their search and eventually their relationships with biological families. He shares his personal journey of searching for his birthmother through digital media channels, and how ultimately what convinced him to press pause on his search for now. Doug recounts a few of his participants’ experiences for us, and I want you to listen with me for both the benefits that relationships via digital connections have brought and also some of the relational pitfalls.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Doug Umberger: Twitter | Instagram | dougumberger.tumblr.com * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
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Paige Adams Strickland shares with us about the complexity of building relationships in the workplace as an adopted person. Many years into her career, Paige has a unique vantage point to give us an overview of what it was like thirty years ago if you even broached the subject of adoption reunion with a colleague - all the way to present day and what it’s like for her now. We talk jobs, the difficulties some of us have building friendships and the extra layer of feeling inadequate that some of us contend with daily.
Full Show Notes Here
Connect With Us * Paige Adams Strickland: Twitter | Instagram | Personal Facebook | Facebook Page | Blog * Haley Radke: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook * Adoptees On: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
Listener Meet-Up | Write or Die Class on May 20, 2018
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I want to invite you into a discussion about relationships with ourselves, through the lens of identity and race. April Dinwoodie shares her journey of growing up brown in a white family, navigating relationships with her adoptive family and how she has come to claim her own identity. We also touch on the recent closure of the Donaldson Adoption Institute and what April sees as the way forward in the advocacy movement.
Full show notes here
Connect With Us April Dinwoodie: Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | aprildinwoodie.com
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Caitríona Palmer’s bestselling memoir, “An Affair with My Mother” captivated my heart immediately. It’s an honour to bring her story to you. Caitríona shares what building a relationship with her mother was like, the heartbreak of being kept a secret and the high cost she’s paid for sharing her story publicly. Listen in and find out how you can join our book club with Caitríona!
{ Caitríona Palmer’s photo by Megan Witt
Full show notes here
Connect With Us Caitríona Palmer: Twitter | www.caitrionapalmer.com | Facebook | Facebook Public Page
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I interview my husband Nick about what it’s like to be married to an adopted person. He shares quite candidly about what it was like for him to walk through reunion with me TWICE! We also talk about what’s been the most helpful in building our relationship as we navigate adoptee triggers and coming out of the fog together.
Full Show Notes Here
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Jeanette Yoffe, MFT shares about what inspired her to begin a support group for adoptees. We cover how to start your own group and best practices for peer-facilitated groups. If starting or joining a support group feels too intimidating, don’t worry! Jeanette has a great idea for free support: find a listening partner.
Full show notes here
Connect With Us Jeanette Yoffe, MFT: Twitter | Groundbreaking Interventions: Working with Traumatized Children, Teens and Families in Foster Care and Adoption | YouTube Channel | yoffetherapy.com
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Jeanette Yoffe, MFT addresses the psychological and emotional impacts of growing up in foster care, including multiple placements and the layers these can add to adoption trauma. She helps us understand complex trauma and gives us a variety of practical healing exercises. This episode is educational and full of tools you can start implementing today to move forward on your healing journey.
Full Show Notes Available Here
Connect With Us Jeanette Yoffe, MFT: Groundbreaking Interventions: Working with Traumatized Children, Teens and Families in Foster Care and Adoption | YouTube Channel | yoffetherapy.com](http://yoffetherapy.com/)
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Can we actually heal from adoption trauma or are we just building up a huge toolbox of coping strategies? My guests Pamela Cordano, MFT and Anne Heffron discuss creativity, why so many adoptees gravitate towards creative pursuits and why healing in community means magnified healing.
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Nicole Rademacher is a multicultural adoptee and a professional contemporary artist. She tells us about her reunion with her biological parents and her two brothers, and how it has informed her creative practice. Nicole and I chat about some of her projects, including one that is still in the works, and I am still in awe of the brilliance of it. Nicole is passionate about connecting with other adopted and fostered people, and helping us to record and process our histories.
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Today I talk with Holly, aka Nerdy Gal, about her reunion with her first mother and some of the instigating factors that led her out of the fog. Holly also tells us how a technique called dirty pouring has helped her process her feelings.
Full show notes: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/s3e13holly
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Brian Stanton shares his story of reuniting with his birth mother, how he decided to write a one-man-show about his experience and how sharing it with audiences with a personal connection to adoption has taught him more about himself than he ever expected. We talk about some incredibly vulnerable things in this interview, including the impact the public sharing of our personal stories have had on our loved ones.
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Nicole Gfeller, an art therapist shares her story with us today. She dives into some of her childhood experiences and talks about how she went from being shut down emotionally to re-integrating her body and feelings. Nicole also gives us some amazing practical ways we can start doing art therapy on our own if seeing an art therapist isn’t quite in the budget.
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Deb Sivigny, a designer and newly a playwright shares about when she started connecting the dots of the impact adoption has had on her life, and how design and writing her play, Hello, My Name Is… has helped her process her adoptee experience.
Full Show Notes Here
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Lesli A. Johnson, MFT talks with us about what “coming out of the fog” means. We cover how adoptees, first parents, and adoptive parents can all experience this. Lesli and I also discuss how to move through this process, which can be incredibly challenging.
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Today I welcome Julian Kelly to share her story. Julian and I talk about her search for identity, what she’s done to build stronger attachments in adulthood and how her music and songwriting allow her an amazing outlet for those feelings which can otherwise build up in us. She is wise and incredibly talented.
Full Show Notes
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Meet Laura Callen, the founder of the Adoption Museum Project. Laura gives the most vivid recounting of a triggering situation that only another adopted person could understand and we talk about that really simple topic of dignity and justice in adoption. With our theme of healing through creativity, Laura explains some of the different experimental ways she and her team are exploring the topic of adoption through arts and culture.
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Today I welcome Kristen Garaffo to share her story. Kristen discovered adoption had a deeper impact on her life than she originally realized. She shares some incredible moments of clarity she’s had along the way and about the impact acting, singing and yoga have had on her healing journey. We also chat about her one-woman show, Hi My Name is Kristen.
Full Show Notes Here
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Meet Gareth Price, a magical realism artist from New Zealand. We talk a lot about what being an adoptee feels like and the accompanying anger that Gareth tells me he’s dealt with all his life. Gareth and I chat about his art, his twin sister, and his reunion with his birth mother.
Full Show Notes Here
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Shannon Peck, a conceptual artist, shares her story. Adopted at 11 days old, she had an “idyllic childhood” and yet something was amiss in her life. In her forties, Shannon discovered attachment theory and began to realize the loss she had first experienced at birth. “Your Daughter is in Good Hands” is an exhibit documenting Shannon’s “search for her true identity.”
Cover photo and title provided by Shannon Peck
Full Show Notes Here
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This is a special episode where I bring you some recordings I made when attending the Concerned United Birthparents Retreat in Carlsbad, CA. I talked with adoptees, first mothers, and a grandmother of loss. We discuss what they learned at the retreat, and what they wish society knew about adoption. If you’d like to hear some of my reporting directly from the event, check out the Adoptees On Facebook page for the live videos I did after each of the sessions I attended.
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Today we discuss what happens when you search for your origins and find out you’re too late. Tracy also shares some painful stories about what her childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic mother was like. Tracy explains her inspiration and the symbolism behind the broken heart adoption pendant. We wrap up with a great discussion about fostering creativity in ourselves and how that can lead to resilience and move us towards healing.
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Derek Frank tells his story about how the movie Philomena brought his desire, to know where he came from, to the surface. We talk about his reunion with his birth father and siblings and what’s holding him back from connecting with his birth mother. We tackle some deep topics including feeling like "culturally cousins" instead of like siblings, grief, and the importance of art therapy. Ridghaus (from season 3 episode 1) returns and, together with Derek, they share behind-the-scenes of the Six Word Adoption Memoir Project.
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Ridghaus shares about relinquishing a son at age 19, and then moving ahead to age 35, he is surprised to learn he too is adopted. We discuss the crisis of identity caused by late discovery and how he managed to establish and ground himself during a two-year healing period. Ridghaus also shares an intimate conversation between himself and his son, processing adoption loss and what he would do if he could go back in time.
This is part one of the two-part premiere of season 3! Next week we meet Derek Frank. Derek and Ridghaus are the creators of the Six Word Adoption Memoir Project.
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Jessenia Parmer of I Am Adopted shares her incredible journey from being abandoned as a baby, her challenges within her adoptive family, to becoming an advocate and voice for adoptees. She is incredibly candid about her personal adoption trauma experiences which include abuse, identity issues, and suicide attempts. As a Christian, Jessenia is open with her faith yet struggles with how the church presents adoption. We discuss the things we’ve learned from our work with adoptee advocacy and wrap up with some new and some familiar recommended resources.
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Lesli and I answer a listener question from Kate: How do we talk to significant others or friends about your feelings about being adopted? Any advice on how to teach a non-adopted partner or friend to be an ally?
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Liz Latty is a powerful writer, adoptee advocate, and activist. She shares her story with us and we talk a lot about reunion with our Dads and why we think first fathers often don’t even get a second thought. We dive deep into the complexities of adoption, sexuality, and the seemingly oh-so-common secondary rejection. Liz is incredibly candid about how concerned she was about coming out to her evangelical Christian birth father. We discuss what adoptee activism is and how understanding our own story and experiences as adopted people can be healing and create a passion for action. Liz calls for aligning ourselves with other movements to create systemic change together.
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Pamela Cordano, MFT teaches us why so many adoptees struggle with perfectionism. Even better… she gives us three practical tools we can use to work on our perfectionistic ways.
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Can you really be adopted back into your family of origin? I get to introduce you to Jemma Sullivan, and she shares some incredibly painful realities of having a narcissistic adoptive parent, it’s not all gloom and doom though - I promise you need to wait to hear what happens at the beginning of Jemma’s new chapter with her first mother.
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Lesli A. Johnson, MFT answers a listener question about finding our identity. “Lesli kept saying it was important to know your narrative as a way to heal trauma. I don't know mine. I don't know really anything about how I came into the world, I don't even know who my father is. Half of my ancestry is a big black hole. And society tells me to be grateful for that. How do we move forward without knowing our first chapter?”
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If you are in reunion or are anticipating one shortly… this episode is for you. Marni Hall shares her story and walks us through three guiding principles that she has for a successful reunion, and they are so helpful.
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Haley talks about how to find an adoption-competent therapist. She gives you five questions to ask and multiple tips for finding that perfect fit.
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Rebekah Henson shares her story of growing up as an only child, then discovering she was one of seven biological siblings. If this sounds at all familiar, I actually interviewed Rebekah’s older sister Mary Anna King on season one, episode 7. Rebekah is incredibly open with me about the challenges of such a complex reunion. We also dish on all the awkward and completely inappropriate things people have said to us about being adopted. We also chat about the adoptee rights movement and adoptee advocacy and activism.
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Katie Jae Naftzger, LICSW discusses why adoptees can hold themselves back from becoming successful. Why do we feel like we’re not worth that much, that we don’t have value to bring to the table? How can we manage our insecurity?
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Mariette Williams tells us about her experiences as a Haitian adoptee growing up in Vancouver, Canada, and finding out that her adoption was non-consensual. We touch on some things that transracial adoptees may struggle with and Mariette gives us her perspective on adoption reform.
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Is adoption really as traumatic as some people say it is? Lesli A. Johnson, MFT teaches us about what the word trauma means and confirms that indeed a trauma occurs when an infant, a baby, a child is separated from their mother. There’s even brain science to prove it! The process of separating a baby from its mother is coded in the nervous system as traumatic for both the mother and the baby. We chat about ways to heal from adoption trauma and Lesli suggests three books for further reading on the topic.
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An in-depth discussion with a first mother and daughter (Maret Headley and Erica Curry VanEe) that is one of the most touching and intimate views I’ve ever had of a reunion. They were extraordinarily candid with me about what’s been lost because of adoption. Three adoptees (Ruth Rawlin Tacoma, Lisa Floyd, and Michelle Madden) tell me, “what do you really think about adoption?”, “what would you say to your family of origin if you had the chance?”, and “what do non-adopted people need to know about adoptees?”. And, as per usual, I cry while describing a moment at the conference I will never forget.
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Mike McDonald, the host of The Rambler podcast, tells us about his experiences as a Korean adoptee, his work with the Also Known As Teen/Youth Mentorship Program and why he did DNA testing before he got married. Mike teaches us about the extensive Korean adoption program and tells us that there are over 200,000 Korean adoptees worldwide.
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Pamela Cordano, MFT and I discuss anger. What is it and why are so many adoptees accused of being “angry adoptees”? We discuss the reasons we have for legitimately being angry. Pamela teaches us about different types of anger and gives us some practical exercises to work on. I find out I’ve been engaging in Spiritual Bypass, and why that is so toxic. Anger is a powerful emotion, let’s harness it to make it work for us, and not against us.
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Lesli A. Johnson, MFT answers the question, “How do I tell my adoptive parents I’m searching for my biological family”. An adoptee’s desire to search is not a rejection of their biological parents. It’s a natural, normal desire to want to know your biology, to know the circumstances of your birth, and to see someone who resembles you. Lots of great takeaways in this episode!
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Keith Sciarillo is a late discovery adoptee. His cousin accidentally told him he was adopted when Keith was 33 years old. No one would confirm this for Keith, so he went on to search and find out for himself. We talk about how almost everyone in Keith’s extended family knew and just assumed Keith knew too.
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We talk with Katie Jae Naftzger, LICSW about what to do when you don’t find answers at the end of your search. Katie shares about her trips back to Korea to search and her two moments of clarity during her second trip. One while hearing babies cry all night long at the adoption agency and another when a birthmother asks her, “What’s the hardest part about being adopted?”. We’ve got four steps to finding some peace when those answers never come.
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Anne Heffron (author of You Don’t Look Adopted) goes deep into all kinds of things in her story, including failures that she attributes to adoption trauma, things she’s working on to find healing, what “write or die” means to her, and we find a way to laugh a lot.
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We talk with Melissa K. Nicholson, LMSW about adoptee suicide (sometimes in a graphic manner and so please listen at your discretion). An incredibly important topic as adoptees are at a greater risk for suicide than the general population. We talk about some warning signs, how to get help, how we can intervene and also therapies that are beneficial for adoptees who may struggle with suicidal ideation.
If you are suicidal, please reach out for help:
USA: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Canada: http://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/ (There’s local numbers for each province, sometimes for local communities as well)
Things to look up in your area “crisis centre” “distress line” “suicide hotline”
You can also call 911 to be connected to a suicide hotline.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Melissa K. Nicholson www.mkntherapy.com
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An interview with Holly, an adoptee who is currently taking a little time off from reunion with her birthmother. We delve into some very tender topics - gaslighting, boundaries and she even got me to open up about some of my own reunion difficulties.
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Fellow adoptee and therapist, Lesli A. Johnson, MFT teaches us all about EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing by Dr. Francine Shapiro). We talk about what it is and Lesli explains why it is so incredibly effective for adoptees.
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An interview with John, an adoptee who accidentally discovered he was adopted at age 10. We unpack the strain this placed on his relationship with his adoptive parents and the trust issues this has caused him throughout his life. John also shares how his birthmother found him, and the warm reception he’s received from his extended family.
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Pamela Cordano, MFT addresses the question that many adoptees struggle with, "Why Me?". Pam shares that it's a natural, yet painful question for us to struggle with. We talk about how we can work on healing this feeling of shame and unworthiness.
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An interview with Kelley Baumgartner an adoptee who found her birthmother via a public social media poster search. You’ve likely seen her facebook post where she held up a poster with personal details in an attempt to be able to connect with her biological family. She shares about the effects this has had on her reunion, and about her relationship with her adoptive parents.
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A bonus episode featuring Lesli A. Johnson, MFT where we speak about surviving the holidays as an adoptee. Lesli coaches us through some situations where we may feel triggered, and shares some practical steps we can take to practice mindfulness and self care.
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Carrie Cahill Mulligan and Haley Radke chat about some themes they’ve seen throughout the season one interviews, a peek behind-the-scenes and plans for season two. Haley Radke shares an in-depth view of her first reunion story with her birth mother (which ends in secondary rejection) which starts around the 28 minute mark if you’d like to skip the chit-chat.
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An interview with Davis Peticolas who shares his story about coming out of the adoption fog when he was fifty years old. Davis outlines some of his deeply personal struggles that can be traced back to adoption trauma as the root cause.
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We talk with Pamela Karanova of Adoptee in Recovery, a fellow adoptee who’ll be sharing her story with us. We talk about her search, a brief reunion, her struggle with alcohol addiction and recovery, and some surprising connections she’s made with extended bio family members through DNA testing. We also discuss some issues about Christianity and adoption.
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An interview with Landric, an adoptee who was recently found by his natural mother. We discuss his relinquishment, feelings about reunion, becoming an oldest brother to four siblings, and a big lesson he’s learned from his time in counselling.
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An interview with Liz Story who shares her journey of reunion with her birth mother, her gift of a kidney (!) to her maternal aunt, and her hesitation to connect with her birth father and how Twitter led Liz to explore an entirely new definition of what it means to be adopted.
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An interview with Diane Wheaton, a fellow adoptee who is in reunion with her biological mother. We talk about letting go of the idealized picture of reunion and some hard truths about the seemingly permanent place of unsettledness and ambivalence Diane has come to.
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An interview with Mary Anna King who shares her fascinating in-family adoption story. She describes her experiences of being adopted as an older child, and also her separation from (and subsequent reunions with) her other biological siblings. We also discuss common adoptee feelings of guilt and indebtedness.
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An interview with Liz Prato, author of Baby's on Fire. Liz shares her search and secondary rejection story with us. She received a letter from an attorney from her biological father. Liz also shares her beautiful reunion with her biological half-sister and the heartbreak of losing her entire adoptive family by age 44.
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An interview with Ellie who shares her story of being an in-family adoptee; adopted by her great uncle and aunt, Ellie shares what her current relationship is like with her birth mother, who is now legally her cousin.
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An interview with Becky Drinnen, a fellow adoptee who shares her experiences as a baby scoop adoptee and the pain of secondary rejection. We also discuss her Sherlock-Holmes-level searching skills to find her biological father.
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An interview with Maeve Kelly who shares her story of search and secondary rejection from her biological mother. We discuss some deep feelings and how our views of adoption have shifted as we became parents.
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Today we’ll be talking to Holly, a fellow adoptee who’ll be sharing her reunion ups and downs. We also discuss parenting as an adoptee as well as becoming an adoptive parent. We’ll wrap up with some recommended resources for you.
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An interview with Carrie Cahill Mulligan who shares her story of search and secondary rejection from her birth mother, and later her reunion with her biological father. We talk about the stages of reunion (AKA the emotional roller coaster!) as well as how grief and joy can intermingle.
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We introduce season one of the podcast where adoptees discuss the adoption experience. Adult adoptees share stories of search, reunion, and secondary rejection. Adoptees On also curates recommended resources to encourage and educate the adoption community about adoptee issues.
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