A Love Language Minute: Recent Episodes
Moody Radio
A Love Language Minute draws from Dr. Gary Chapman's years of counseling experience, excerpts from his live events, and his answers to listeners' questions to give encouragement and practical help and hope for the relationships in your life.
How do you learn your child's love language? - observe how they express love to others. Children love others in the language they wish to receive.
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When one spouse talks all the time and the other spouse rarely talks, good communication won't happen. Listening to each other is just as important as talking.
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One of the most important goals in parenting is to make sure your children grow up feeling loved. If your children are secure in your love, they'll be far more responsive to your teaching and training.
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Your child drives you crazy. What can you do? The very first thing you can do is make sure they feel loved. The only way they'll feel loved is if you show them love in their own love language.
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It's not appropriate for a husband to make comments about other beautiful women in front of you. Remind him that he's married to you and his attention should be focused on you.
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What makes one child feel loved doesn't necessarily make the other child feel loved. Each one has an emotional love tank. One has a larger or smaller tank one than the other. Spend the appropriate amount of time to fill each love tank to the brim.
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If communication between spouses is practically nonexistent, make an effort to talk to your spouse about things they're interested in. Often times, they'll begin to open up.
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How do you teach your child obedience? State the rules clearly, and explain the consequences clearly. Then, in kindness and firmness, administer the consequences.
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Having a growing marriage is extremely difficult when their work requires being separated for long periods of time.
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Will premarital sex help a couple in the dating phase of their relationship? NO. If either of them breaks off the relationship, they'll be left with extreme emotional pain and guilt.
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When Christian couples walk out on each other, it stems from one of three problems: 1. Lack of an intimate relationship with God; 2. Lack of an intimate relationship with your spouse; or 3. Lack of an intimate understanding and acceptance of one's self.
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You waste your energy when you argue, trying to convince the other person that you're right and they're wrong. That will never work. Instead, try to find some middle ground where you both can agree.
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In this busy world, many parent find it difficult to spend quality time with their teenagers. Without focused attention, a teenager experiences increased anxiety because they feel everything else is more important that they are. That leaves their love tank empty.
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When your spouse refuses to apologize, it makes it difficult to deal with the hurt. The Bible teaches that when someone sins against you, confront them. If they repent, forgive them.
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Couples that live together before getting married are no better prepared for marriage than those who did not. In fact, their divorce rate is even higher.
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Separation doesn't necessarily lead to divorce. Separation forces us to admit we have serious problems. When we examine divorce, we realize that divorce doesn't solve anything. In fact, it creates more problems. The best of our options is to seek reconciliation.
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Since every married couple has different thoughts and feelings, there will be barriers to good communication. The best way to break down those barriers is to Listen!
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What can you do if you're married but can't get rid of the memories of your premarital sex? Confess your past sin to God and your wife, then picture the blood of Christ flowing over your sin and hiding it from your sight.
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It's not unusual for a spouse to be an alcoholic but doesn't think they have a problem. Are you in this situation? Choose to show them your tender love. At the same time, you can exercise tough love by insisting on seeking out good counseling.
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Does Separation equal Divorce? Not necessarily. Separation can be a time of tremendous growth. Take this time to consider the choices and actions that caused your separation and choose to make the necessary changes. With God's help, this might lead to reconciliation instead of divorce.
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Listening is the key to good communication. If you listen to your spouse and try to understand their thoughts and feelings, your marriage will thrive.
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If you have a silent husband, have you ever wondered why? If you're quick to criticize his ideas, he might just shut down. Your criticism will strike at the heart of his self esteem.
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You and your fiancé want to get married and are applying for grad school. This might pose some challenges to your marriage. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends postponing your marriage until you both accomplish your academic goals.
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Are you and your spouse the products of divorce? Having experienced growing up in a home where your parents divorced, your goal should be to never put your own children in that same situation. The key is to get a clear picture of what a healthy family looks like.
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Behind every verbally abusive tongue is a person of value. If you can focus on their worth rather than on their abuse, perhaps you can be God's instrument to bring healing.
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There's something about the way we're made that cries out for intimacy. God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships.
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Those who verbally abuse their spouse are saying more about their own needs rather than their spouse's character.
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Are there fireworks in your marriage - the fireworks of romantic love? When you speak your spouse's love language, you'll touch their heart.
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Our mission is to make disciples. The best method to use is to love them.
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If you're married, it's never wise to try to reconnect with your past girlfriends. You'll be jeopardizing the commitment you made to your spouse.
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We often connect past relationships to the music of that era. If you're married now, it's probably wise not to listen to that music any more. Then you probably won't relive those memories and be drawn away from your spouse.
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Confession should ideally precede forgiveness. But if someone has sinned against you and has never confessed, ask God to help you forgive them anyway. This will allow you to rid yourself of the sin of bitterness.
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It's deeply hurtful for a husband to tells his wife that she's not attractive. His unkind comments are more than physical - they're emotional. Ask him if he feels loved by you. Learn his love language to connect more deeply with him.
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Intimacy is at the very heart of a growing marriage. God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships. What are you doing to build intimacy in your marriage?
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Are you attempting to improve your marriage by trying to change your spouse? Matthew chapter 7 tells us not to judge others. Examine yourself and see if YOU are the one who needs to change.
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The most common complaint of singles is that they are lonely. God didn't design us to live in isolation. Intimacy is one our deepest needs. If you're single, invest your time with others. It's the language of friendship.
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Your girlfriend has trouble trusting men. How can you convince her that she can trust you? You can't convince her to trust you. What you can do is be trustworthy.
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A military couple's love language is quality time. How can they express their love while one spouse is deployed? Today's technology enables them to communicate electronically. So call often!
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Selfishness is the greatest barrier to marital unity. If we're honest with ourselves, we're all afflicted with the disease of selfishness. Selfishness is a product of our fallen nature. But as a Christian, we've been given a new nature.
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If you don't get good results from doing a task but you don't ask for input from someone you trust, you won't improve or grow. You'll always win when you ask for input.
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Communication is the lifeline for a growing marriage. So what do you do when your spouse won't talk? Don't condemn them. Instead, ask them questions about a topic they're interested in.
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Dr. Gary Chapman's seminars aren't only for married couples. Engaged couples and even single adults attend as well.
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Which kind of person are you - messy or a neat freak? This can lead to tremendous frustration within a relationship. Make requests for change, not demands. Love accepts many imperfections - the things that one can not or will not change.
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What is the loving thing to do when your adult child moves back home? Establish time limits to their stay. Formulate a financial agreement. Respect the need for privacy.
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The process of getting to know each other in a dating relationship requires that there be lots of communication. If one struggles to communicate, begin to develop good communication skills early on.
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It's not uncommon for adult children to move back home. Meet with your child and find out what their plans are moving forward. What is their exit plan. Approach the plan step by step. Setting small goals is better than no goals at all.
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The five love languages are dispersed relatively evenly between men and women. The important thing is for you to learn the primary love language of your spouse.
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Can a wide age gap pose a problem in marrying someone? It depends on the gap. The older both individuals are, the more likely it is for the marriage to work.
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The boomerang generation - it's when your older children leave but then move back home. This can be very challenging for the parents. Don't be afraid to talk to other parents who can share with you how they were able to handle it.
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How can you have healthy Interactions with others on political issues? The very first step is to listen to them without being judgmental and ask them questions. Then ask them if they're willing to hear your side.
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When you're angry, be sure to get all the facts before you take action. It's easy to jump to conclusion about what someone did or said. Ask questions and make sure you understand all the facts.
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How important is it to know all the secrets of your spouse's past? Be sensitive and don't force him to share thing he doesn't want to share. If God has forgiven him, allow him to choose the things about which he's willing to share.
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How important is it to get your future in-law's blessing before marrying their daughter? It's definitely ideal. Take time to honestly consider the areas of their concern and admit that they might be right. In the end, you don't always have to base your decision on the blessing of your potential in-laws.
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Taking positive steps toward dealing with anger is essential. God can use our anger in a positive way if you're willing to admit that you're angry, confront the person who's wronged you, then seek reconciliation.
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We find it easy to point out the negative areas in others, but struggle to point out any of our own. The Bible instructs us to remove the log in our own eye before trying to remove the speck in someone else's eye.
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Anger between families members is not uncommon. Don't let it fester. Instead, ask the person with whom you're angry if it's a good time to talk. Get it out in the open, and agree to find a solution to the problem in an agreeable and positive way.
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It's very discouraging when your in-laws don't think you're good enough for their daughter. The best approach is to focus on being the person your wife needs you to be. Perhaps in the future, your in-laws may change their minds about you.
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How can you bring the spark back into your marriage? The best way is to learn to speak your spouse's love language, and do it consistently.
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We get angry when our sense of right is violated. Share your anger with someone in a positive manner, then let it go. Anger was never meant to move in permanently - it should only be a visitor.
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Most of us are self-centered. We strive to achieve our goals but often lose our marriages in the process. If we aim to build our marriages while at the same time building our careers, both spouses win.
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Many Christians pride themselves in holding back their anger; but internalizing anger is very unhealthy. The Biblical challenge is that when we experience anger, we are to process it in a positive way.
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What does "in love" mean? The word love means many things to many people. Feeling "in love" means exactly that - a feeling. Feeling "in love" doesn't necessarily mean you should marry that person.
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How can you win back your girlfriend after a breakup? You can make an effort to win her back, but you can't make her love you. Be prepared to accept that your relationship is over, then trust God to bring along someone who's best for you.
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Why is it that raising children seems to keep you from maintaining a growing marriage? Maybe it's because you haven't managed your time well. Be intentional about scheduling time with your spouse.
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Do you or your spouse make excuses for having an affair? Remind yourself that your marriage is a covenant with your spouse. The responsibility rests upon both you to confront, repent and restore your marriage.
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Do you feel you have enough time to invest in your marriage and your parenting? Yes! The problem isn't time; it's how you schedule your time.
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How do you get your boyfriend to speak your love language - words of affirmation? You can't make someone speak your love language, but you can influence them by speaking to them in their love language.
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Should you be concerned about your fiancé's past physical relationships with other women? Absolutely. Typically, if someone is sexually involved before marriage, the probability of straying sexually after marriage is quite high.
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Which is the greater priority - marriage or parenting? The truth is, they are both priorities. You'll regret it if you neglect either one.
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Your husband has reconnected with a past girlfriend. This naturally brings back strong feelings. But remember, a marriage requires that we leave the past behind and focus on the deep bond that a marital union is meant to have.
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How do you keep your marriage alive now that your children have arrived? Children are a blessing from God, but children can also cause marital neglect. If you see your marriage drifting apart because you're consumed with raising your children, it's time to make a course correction.
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How does it make you feel when your husband says younger women are more beautiful than you are? It's tremendously hurtful. Just remember that if you're walking with God, the more beautiful you become from within.
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What should you do when you've been dating for a while and no longer feel those "in love" feelings? If you plan to marry, learn to speak each other's love language so you'll be able keep emotional warmth in your marriage.
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You must admit that when your children are born, it greatly affects your marital relationship. Raising your children can become all consuming. Your children and your marriage should both be prioritized, but your marriage should be your main priority.
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Marriage isn't God's design to make each other miserable. God ordained marriage because two are better than one. When the husband and wife reach out to serve each other, they both become winners.
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From a Biblical perspective, the purpose of life is not to accomplish our own objectives but to glorify God. Our busy lives tend to direct our thoughts toward ourselves and our family. But as you serve your family, you are serving God.
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It's difficult to stay pure before marriage. When you deeply love each other emotionally, the natural progression becomes physical. The physical aspect of love is not the foundation of a good marriage. Covenant with each other that you will not become physically involved until after marriage.
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How can couples learn to communicate better? If both spouses don't talk a lot, they should prepare a list of questions to ask each other. Answering those questions will get the communication ball rolling.
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The book of Ecclesiastes says "Two are better than one". The marriage relationship is seen in the Bible as a friendship. Husbands and wives are meant to compliment each other.
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What is the attitude we should have toward our wives? We should have the attitude of Christ. Christ modeled how to love and serve others.
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At the heart of the Christian marriage is the idea of Unity. God said the two should become one. Marriage is designed to satisfy that deep desire for intimacy.
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Should you stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of your children? If the abuse is physical or constant verbal abuse, it's best to separate for the protection of yourself and for the good of your children.
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How do you go about helping your fiancé discover their love language? Begin by encouraging them to read Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages.
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In today's culture, it's more important than ever that the Church be the entity to teach us marriage skills.
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Reading Dr. Gary Chapman's book "The Five Languages" will invigorate relationships of every kind.
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Marriage between a man and a woman is the central building block in every human society. It is also true that a monogamous lifelong marriage is the universal cultural norm.
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Living together before marriage is never a good idea. Statistics show that when people choose to live together before marriage, they're marriage is much more likely to fail.
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Stress and Anxiety can often be the source of problems with intimacy in a marriage.
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Today's culture tries to influence our our teens in so many arenas. But remember, you as their parent will still have the greatest influence on them.
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The only way to keep a clear conscience in your marriage is to confess your failings to each other.
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The culture that our teens grow up in today is vastly different than the culture we grew up in. Loving your teens effectively will help them resist the negative influences of our culture.
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Do the principles of the Five Love Languages apply to older people? Absolutely. If older couples have learned to speak their spouse's love language, their relationship will be strong and vibrant.
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What can you do when you speak your spouse's love language but you don't feel loved in return? If you make simple requests to your spouse, you'll be teaching them your love language.
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Parents risk building an adversarial relationship with their teen if they don't allow them to express themselves.
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It's difficult to have quality time with your spouse while serving in the military. Speaking the language of quality time while apart is best expressed in a handwritten letter. Physically writing to your spouse is much better than simply e-mailing them.
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There is often a great divide between teens and parents. Don't let your differences keep you from loving your teen.
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How can you get your husband to talk more? Some people are listeners while others are talkers. If you want to get your husband to respond verbally, ask them specific questions.
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You want to help your wife with chores around the house, but your best efforts are never good enough. You're more likely to receive positive feedback if you ask her to describe exactly how she wants the chore to be done.
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When your teens grow up and leave the home, they'll remember what you modeled long after they have forgotten your words.
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Military couples struggle with many things such as being deployed with little warning. They also have to reconnect upon their spouse's return. Dr. Gary Chapman's book The Five Love Languages - Military edition can prove to be tremendously helpful.
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Must you forgive over and over again when someone continues to hurt you? Jesus clearly taught that you must forgive them if they truly repent.
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It's important to consider a wide age difference when contemplating marriage.
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Are there some unhealthy patterns of communication in your marriage?
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How can you stay positive after losing your job?
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If you've experienced the devastation of your parents getting divorced, it's important that you get a clear picture of what a healthy marriage looks like so you don't pass that pain along to the next generation.
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What are some healthy ways to negotiate in your marriage?
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Are you asking God for His help in your marriage?
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Learn to listen empathetically.
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Is your husband spending too much time with his parents?
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Depression is a difficult challenge to deal with in a marriage. But the good news is, there's hope and help through good counseling and medication.
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There are many unhealthy patterns of communication in a marriage, but none as deadly as blaming each other. The blamer destroys intimacy and makes communication impossible.
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Good communication with your spouse is vital for a healthy marriage - what you say and how you say it. But equally important is being intentional about listening to our spouse.
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How we talk with one another greatly affects the quality of our conversations.
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Are you having trouble getting over past physical abuse in your relationship?
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Are your friends telling you that there's something wrong with you? Maybe you should listen to them.
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The Summer season of marriage is delightful. Love is what keeps a marriage healthy and growing.
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Learn strategic ways to help your child who has a drug problem.
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A very effective way to motivate someone is to compliment them.
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Passive aggressive anger is quite common. Someone who is passively aggressive willfully chooses to do the exact opposite of what they've been told to do. This is their way of retaliating.
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How much does age matter in a relationship?
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If you're looking for a good book to read this Summer, Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that you read his book The Five Love Languages along with many of his other books. They will strengthen your relationships with others.
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Are married people obligated to have children?
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What are the does and don'ts of dealing with depression?
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Some spouses don't have the personality to be organized. They may be able to make some progress in this area, but that tendency will never fully go away. Every couple needs to be able accept some things about their spouse and love them unconditionally.
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Depression is the most common challenge faced by young adults. Depression negatively affects every aspect of their lives. It's a downward spiral. What they need is a good counselor or pastor.
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How can you deal with your spouse if they struggle with substance abuse? There are two approaches that are equally important: Tender love, and Tough love.
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Marriage is an exclusive relationship. But you need to let your spouse spend some time with friends. However, if they are friends with people of the opposite sex, that can lead to marital strife.
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It's the parent's responsibility to prepare their children for adulthood. Moving out of the house is a major step in that direction.
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Apologizing is the best way to restore a relationship.
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When someone has wronged you, it's easy to become angry and let it fester in your soul. If they don't repent, release them to God. He will deal with them.
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Learn the secret of how you can love your spouse while they're deployed in the military.
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It's normal for young couples to have issues with adjustment when they first get married. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends that couples set aside time each week to bring issues out in the open. This presents each of them with the opportunity to bring up one thing that's bothering them, and commit themselves to focus on solving that one particular issue.
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There are two ways to respond to negative anger - explosion or implosion. Those who might deplore explosive anger fail to understand that implosive anger is just as destructive.
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If someone has wronged you and won't apologize, the Biblical pattern is for you to lovingly confront them. This approach may open up the opportunity for them to apologize and reconcile with you.
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If you find yourself becoming angry in an explosive way, you need to ask yourself why you become angry. If someone has offended you, it's your job so seek reconciliation. If you become angry because you didn't get your way, your anger is never appropriate and must be confessed.
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How do you deal with your spouse who's cheating on you with someone on the internet? Firmly confront them and make them choose between you or that other person. Their choice will determine the outcome of you marriage. Seek good Christian counseling.
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Second marriages are often difficult, especially if the person you married has children from their first marriage. If children are involved, that means your new spouse will most likely have some contact with their former spouse. You may find this hard to deal with. Seek wisdom from your friends who might be in the same situation you are.
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Explosive anger is never constructive. Anger not only hurts the person to whom it's directed, but it also destroys the person who is out of control. Undisciplined anger will ultimately destroy relationships.
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Some wives might be able to forgive their unfaithful husband, but struggle with trusting them again. Forgiveness opens the door for the possibility of rebuilding trust.
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Many of us have never learned how to handle anger positively. This will often lead to broken relationships. Seek out a godly counselor to help you before it's too late to salvage your broken relationship.
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Wouldn't it be easier if you and your spouse had the same love language? Yes, but each of you might speak different dialects within the same language. Most of the time, however, couples speak different love languages. As the adage goes, opposites attract.
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You've dated several nice girls. How do you choose which one to marry? God is certainly involved in that decision, and He will lead you in the right direction to the right person at the right time.
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Many couples complain that they don't have enough money for marital enrichment. To have more money you need to make more or spend less. In his book, Happily Ever After, Dr. Gary Chapman provides some creative ideas on how to make more money.
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Can you forgive your spouse who has deserted you and your children for a long period of time? Yes, but there's no way to make up for the time that was lost.
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Saving money is good stewardship. One way to save money is to spend less. One way to do that is to do seasonal shopping when items are discounted to make room for new merchandise.
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Is it possible to have a happy marriage without there being a spiritual component? Many non-Christians have good marriages; but dealing with the stresses of life can be a whole lot easier if you look to God's Word for His wisdom and guidance.
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Living with a verbal abuser can be devastating. Can an abuser change? Yes, but the abuser must be willing to change. If they don't, separation might be the loving action you'll need to take to motivate them to change.
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One of the best ways to save money is to go "free shopping". Drive through affluent neighborhoods the night before trash pickup. What might be garbage to some people might be a treasure to you. And it's free!
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How can you discover what your primary language of apology is? Simply ask yourself, what could the offender say or do to make it easier for you to forgive them.
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Raising children is expensive. This takes money away from your marital enrichment fund. The way to address this is to either cut expenses or increase income.
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Is getting married a love language? The answer is, getting married actually requires that we speak all five languages!
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Anger is the emotion that pushes us away from people, whereas love is the emotion that draws us toward people.
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Put your money where your priorities are.
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Asking for forgiveness is the first step in apologizing to someone you've wronged.
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No matter how long you live, use the time you have to make a difference in this world.
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It's challenging to know when it's the right time to begin dating someone after the death of your spouse. Dr. Gary Chapman provides some helpful advise.
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Your spouse's love language is gift giving-receiving. How can you become a gift giver when it's not your primary love language?
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Harsh words or withdrawing in silence are actions that will take your marriage into a dark and cold season. The Bible instructs us to return good for evil. Why not be the one to take the first step in restoring your marriage and ushering in a new season in your lives.
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What do you do when you apologize to your spouse but they don't seem able to forgive? More likely than not, it's because you haven't apologized in their language of apology. Find out what their language is by reading Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Five Languages of Apology.
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What can a couple do to weather the challenging seasons in their marriage? One thing they can do is change their attitude toward one another. Express love instead of condemnation. It'll change your marriage!
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How does a couple cope when one spouse shares every thought they have while the other keeps things inside. Can they find a happy medium? Be sure to tune in for Dr. Gary Chapman's answer.
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How do you tell your boyfriend that you'd like a gift now and then? Don't do so by hinting. Just be up front and tell him. Let him know that receiving gifts is important to you. This should be a clear indication to him that your primary love language is Gift-Giving.
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What brings a couple to a Winter season of marriage? One word - Rigidity. It's the unwillingness to consider the other person's perspective and work toward a solution.
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It's not enough to just say "I'm sorry". Saying "I'm sorry" should always be followed by "Will you forgive me?".
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Marriages can be defined by the season. Some marriages are in the Winter season characterized by coldness, harshness and bitterness. Your Winter marriage can turn into Spring by your positive words and actions.
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Two people can have the same love language but at different levels. It's like speaking the same language but in different dialects.
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Some wives feel like they're more of a mother than a wife to their husband. How can this change? It's important for you to encourage your husband to take the initiative in your relationship, and respond positively to his leadership.
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If a couple is on the verge of separation, they must seriously consider reconciliation for the good of their children.
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Making things right will always require a sincere apology.
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To nurture your teenage child is to feed their inner spirit. Harsh words will kill their spirit. Nurturing parents are always encouraging.
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How do you deal with a growing mistrust in your relationship? If you want to restore trust, you must be trustworthy. Building trust and keeping trust is a vital part of a healthy marriage.
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Is it possible to have more than one love language? It's not usually the case, but it's possible to have more than one. Each one of those languages will speak deeply to you on an emotional level.
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In order for a teenage to feel love, they need to feel accepted. If they feel like they're being rejected, they will never feel loved. Be sure you let them know that they are loved no matter what.
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A sincere apology requires more than simply saying "I'm sorry". Saying those words is a good thing, but it may not be accepted by the one you offended if you didn't say it in their primary language of apology. Make an effort to learn their primary language of apology and express your contrition in that manner.
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Bonding with your infant child is vitally important. But it's no less important to bond with your teenage child. Emotional connection requires time and communication.
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Should your children only have Christian friends? No; but your child must be careful that they don't get pulled into the ungodly life style of their non-Christian friends.
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Your primary love language is Physical Touch, but other people don't express their love to you in that way. What do you do? The church is probably the best place to feel that love by giving and receiving an appropriate hug from a friend.
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Good kids don't suddenly go bad just because they've entered their adolescent years. When teens are secure in the love of their parents, they will have the confidence to reject the negative influences around them.
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How can parents teach their children to take responsibility for their hurtful behavior? They should teach by example. When parents have hurt their children and are able to say "I was wrong. I'm sorry.", that will be the first step in teaching your children how to apologize.
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It's not uncommon for spouses to disappoint each other. If your spouse hasn't met your expectations, ask them to make the necessary changes. Request the changes, but don't demand them. Speaking your spouse's love language will go a long way.
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A listener wrote to express her appreciation for Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages. It's had a profound impact on her marriage. Learn your spouse's love language, then speak it often!
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Why does my husband say "I love you' but is distracted by other women? The words "I love you" can be cheap if he chooses to violate your marriage covenant. Focusing his attention on other women is not love - it's a lack of commitment.
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When it comes to finances, it's critically important for couples to work out their spending priorities together. Handling your finances individually will lead to divisions.
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It really shouldn't matter how your child chooses to creatively express themselves in their appearance. Those things are minor. It's more important that you focus on their heart.
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When is the last time you expressed your love to your spouse with a gift? Learn how to be creative in keeping your romance alive. Your gifts don't have to be expensive, but they need to be thoughtful.
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How can you speak words of affirmation to your spouse when it doesn't come naturally to you? If you grew up not hearing words of affirmation, it'll be difficult to speak them to others. The key is discovering and learning to speak their love language.
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You are your child's parent first and foremost. Not only are you their parent, but you can also be their friend. Just don't make that your priority.
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When you're spouse expresses a desire to accomplish something important to them, encourage them to fulfill their dream. Don't be a dream killer.
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How do you make a meaningful apology? Don't just tell them you're sorry. Tell them what you're sorry for.
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Words of affirmation are powerful communicators of love. Complements stimulate complements.
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Harsh words from a husband are deeply hurtful to his spouse and children. Ask him to seek counseling about how to express himself in kinder words.
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In Galatians chapter 5 it says, "Serve one another in love". In marriage, service creates a positive emotional climate whereby couples can talk lovingly with each other for the purpose of solving their marital problems.
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Scripture teaches us to "return good for evil". If there's conflict in your marriage, returning good for evil will help create a climate of love and set the stage for reconciliation.
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The one key that unlocks a happy marriage is having an attitude of mutual service. Your needs will be met when you and your spouse mutually commit to serving one another. Follow Christ's example of how He laid down His life in service to the Church.
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Will getting a divorced affect your relationship with God? Divorce was never God's intention. Marriage was meant for a lifetime. God's commitment to us is forever. Our marriages should follow that lead.
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A parent's struggle with depression can have a negative impact on their children. Depression won't simply go away with the passage of time. Dr. Gary Chapman says that the most effective way of dealing with depression is counseling and medication.
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What would happen in your marriage if you were a true Christian? The word "Christian" means Christ-like. The central theme in the life of Jesus was that of service. A true Christian in a marriage will choose the posture of a servant to their spouse.
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God will not turn off the free will of a person and force them to reconcile with you. But God can use you as an instrument to love that person. This may touch their heart and open them up to the possibility of reconciling with you.
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Jesus said to His disciples, "Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant". Likewise, the greatest husbands are the ones who serve their wives.
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How can you spend quality time with your husband when he works so much? This can be difficult, but consider taking advantage of the weekends to spend quality time with him. It's important to earn living AND invest time in your marriage.
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The key that unlocks the door to a happy marriage is learning to serve your spouse. Jesus modeled this for us. He came to serve - not to be served.
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How can you find freedom from pornography? If you struggle with pornography, one of the prayers you can pray is that God will allow the blood of Christ to cleanse you of this sin. Seek out some Christian counseling.
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In every culture, parents are expected to provide guidance for their children. The greatest method of teaching our children is to model the behavior your expect of them.
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Extroverts are energized by being around people. Introverts are energized by being away from the crowd. Ultimately, it's a matter of personality differences. You need to find a balance between the two.
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The reality is, Christians have always gone through difficult times. We all will experience trouble and sickness, even if we're following after God. We are not exempt from disease, but God will walk with us through through the disease.
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We should speak our spouse's love language every day, not just on Valentines' Day. Be sure to express your love for them in their primary love language.
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We're all creative to some extent because we are made in the image of God. In our effort to teach our children, we often stifle their creativity with conformity. Creativity is the wonderful gift of thinking outside the box. It's your child's creativity that allows them to expresses their uniqueness.
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The visual images of pornography are planted deep inside the mind. Even if you stop looking at pornography, you still see the images. Pornography is idolatry because it takes a good gift from God, sex, and makes it all consuming. Seek some spiritual counseling.
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Do you write letters to your children? Even though we live in a digital world, take the time the write a letter to your child. Express your love for them. Affirm them and encourage them.
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How do you deal with a co-worker who's flirting with you even when you're married? Clearly communicate that you're not interested, and make every effort to limit any interact with them in the work place.
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Is it wise to "take a break" from your spouse? Everyone needs some alone time, but separation isn't the answer. Solving problems in your marriage when the both of you are TOGETHER will help you come up with solutions that strengthen your marriage.
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God's Word tell us in Deuteronomy 6:7 that we should instruct our children throughout the day.
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You might feel that your parents never loved you as a child. Maybe it's because they never spoke YOUR love language. However, they may have been showing love in THEIR love language and you didn't recognize it. It's important to speak to someone in THEIR love language.
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The Bible states that the function of parents is to Teach and Train. Teaching focuses on words - verbal admonition. Training focuses on actions. Teaching and Training must always go together You can't use one without the other.
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How do you find strength to show love to your spouse in their love language when you don't receive love from him in return? Ultimately, the strength you need comes from God. Remember, God loved us before we loved him.
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If your boyfriend won't speak your love language, it's a sign of selfishness. It's time to get out of the relationship.
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The most influential, unchangeable factor in your life is your history. Your childhood experience - pleasant or painful - can't be changed, but you can learn to accept it. Don't waste time thinking about what your life might have been. Ask God to help you do something with your present and future.
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It's amazing how many Christian couples have never read a book on marriage. Marriage is the most important relationship in the family. Good Christian books on marriage will help you make a significant investment in your marriage.
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Do you tend to hold things inside instead of sharing your thoughts and feelings? If you're having problems in your marriage but you don't share your thoughts and feelings, there's no chance of solving the problem.
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How can a Christian woman find a good Husband? Ideally, it's recommended that you first look within your church, especially if he's actively involved in service at the church. Look for signs that he's truly committed to Christ.
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How can you stay in a relationship when you don't love him any more? You may not love him, but you've made a commitment. Love is a decision. You can't wait for your emotions to change. Choose to love your unlovely spouse in the power of the Holy Spirit.
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Has your outlook on life made you become a negative person? A negative outlook on life can be changed by reciting positive words found in Scripture. "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it"!
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Many couples discover that they've lost the dreams of what they hoped their marriage would be. Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book called The Marriage You Always Wanted. It will help you rediscover your dreams.
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Feelings of superiority often lead to broken relationships. The first step to recovery from the "I'm superior" personality is to admit you're human. No one is perfect.
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Which is better, Rational decision making or Emotional decision making? The answer ... BOTH! Employing both the Rational and Emotional elements will result in better decisions being made.
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Verbal abuse strikes at the heart of the person who is abused. If you have verbally abused your spouse and sincerely want to stop, turn your harsh and critical words into loving and caring words. When you begin to change your behavior, your actions will prove you're sincere.
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How your perceive your self greatly affects your relationships. Your feelings of inferiority stems from hearing demeaning words as a child. How do you overcome this? Speak words of truth to yourself - "You are made in the image of God and have been gifted with special abilities". Learn to trust what GOD says you are.
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Do you enjoy going to work? Research shows that 70% of people in the work force feel under appreciated. Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages of Appreciation will be of tremendous help to you.
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Children need to hear words of encouragement. Encouraging your child will help them want to achieve more. Words spoken in anger will discourage them.
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Can a long-distance relationship last if both of you scored low on Words of Affirmation after taking the 5 Love Languages online quiz? The question is, do you know each other's love language? Discover what those are and focus on speaking them to each other.
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If your husband doesn't do much to help around the house, it makes you feel more like his mother than his wife. Perhaps your love language is Acts of Service. Speak to him in his love language, and he may begin speaking in yours.
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It's possible to praise your children too much. Learn to distinguish words of affection and words of praise. Affection focuses on who your child is. Praise focuses on what your child does. Children know when praise is deserved and when it's only to make them feel better.
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Long before your infant child understands the meaning of words, they receive your emotional messages. Your tone of voice, your smile and gentle touch communicate emotional warmth.
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You're distressed because your husband spends more time playing video games than he does with you. There may be a host of reasons that are cause for concern; but it might also reinforce the fact that your primary love language is quality time.
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Why is my boyfriend taking so long to marry me? He might be waiting until he's in a better financial situation. Or, he might never commit to marriage. Find out the "why" and make a decision that's best for you.
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Almost all parents love their children, but not all children feel loved. This is most likely the result of not expressing your love for them in their own unique love language.
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Many military marriages suffer during long periods of deployment. One way to handle the pain of separation is to read Dr. Gary Chapman's military edition of his 5 Love Languages book. It's designed to help couples feel emotionally connected during deployment.
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Why might your child feel like you don't love them? It's most likely because you haven't been expressing your love in their own love language.
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Your boyfriend wants time away from you to avoid the temptation of premarital intimacy. There could be a number of reasons for this. You both need to agree on drawing boundaries during your dating relationship and honor those boundaries.
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You and your spouse are in counseling for his unfaithfulness to you. Should you continue to be intimate with him while still in counseling? It might play a part of the healing process, but trust must be rebuilt over time.
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The first step to improving strained marriage is learning to speak the love language of your spouse.
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Military families live under tremendous stress. Make it a point to pray for them!
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Can emotional warmth be reborn in a marriage? Yes!, but the process begins with loving actions.
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Our happiness is greatest when other people are happy.
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Love draws people to God and to us!
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The world is full of love and hate. The wise person chooses the road of love, because its potential is far greater than the road of hate.
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The most powerful weapon for good is Love. True love is expressed by one's behavior. Love is an action - not a feeling.
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As a husband, you should be concerned if your wife maintains contact with past boyfriends on Facebook. It's possible that the contact is above board, but it opens the door to temptation.
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What is the safe way to express appreciation through physical touch in the work place? Physical touch in the work place poses significant dangers. However, there are safe ways to touch - through hand shakes, high-fives, fist bumps etc.
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Returning good for evil to someone who doesn't deserve it is the best way to improve a relationship.
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How can you tell if your anger is legitimate? The purpose of appropriate anger is always to stimulate us to actions designed to set things right.
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If your spouse only says "I'm Sorry" but you still don't feel like it's a true apology, it's most likely because he's not apologizing to you in your Language of Apology.
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How can you improve your communication skills in your marriage? Your goal should be to build positive communication patterns and intimacy. Dr. Gay Chapman's book Now You're Speaking My Love Language may prove to be very helpful.
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How do you discover and speak your boss's love language in a way that doesn't come across as weird or manipulative? Maybe you should think more along the lines of speaking words of appreciation. It'll still meet an emotional need in them.
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What do you do when you apologize to someone but sense that they haven't accepted your apology? It might be because you haven't made restitution.
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What is the purpose of anger? The purpose of anger is to motivate us to set things right - to stimulate us to do something constructive to correct is wrong.
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One of the strongest languages of apology is making restitution. If you're really sorry, make it a priory to speak your spouse's love language at all times. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends that you read his book When I'm Sorry Isn't Enough.
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Most parents will be deeply disappointed with their child when they come out and tell you they're gay. Men and women are made for each other - it's God's design. Express your disappointment with them, but let them know that you'll always love them no matter what.
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If your husband has a bad temper, what can you do to help? One effective way to help is to suggest that your husband read Dr. Gary Chapman's book called Anger - Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way.
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If you are truly sorry for how you've hurt someone, you must verbally apologize. But the evidence of true sorrow should be confirmed by your change in behavior.
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What is the true source of anger? When you feel anger, you'll notice that it's because someone is not doing what's right. That feeling comes naturally to us because we are made in God's image, and He's deeply concerned about things being right.
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When you hurt someone, you immediately know that you've placed an emotional barrier between you and your spouse. Your relationship is now fractured, and it's time to apologize. Make sure you apologize to them in their primary language of apology.
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What if you and your spouse score equally on the love language test? Express your love for them in all 5 love languages, but make sure you emphasize your love for them in their primary love language.
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When you and your spouse are separated due to travel, how do you express your love to them if their love language is physical touch? Call and tell them how much you would want to express your love in a physical way if they were at home. Your spouse will feel your love emotionally.
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We are emotional creatures, and one of our deepest desires it to feel loved. The feeling of being in love isn't meant to last forever. The heart of love is making the choice to affirm your love in the love language of your spouse.
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What is the true source of anger? Anger is rooted in our God-given sense of right and wrong because we are made in God's image. We want what's just and fair because God desires justice and fairness.
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Research shows that the "in love" feeling isn't really love at all. Falling in love isn't a conscious choice, it's a feeling. True love is a choice that requires effort and seeks the well-being of the other person.
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What do you do when your "in love" feelings begin to wear off? Understand that those feelings will wear off over time, but emotional love will endure the test of time if you learn to speak each other's love language.
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When you discover that your marriage has areas that need to be improved, make it a point to attend a marriage conference for a tune up.
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The euphoric experience of falling in love may give you the illusion of having an intimate relationship. It's not that you're insincere about what you think and feel, but it's unrealistic to assume you and your spouse will never hurt each other in the future.
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Sometimes you may say "I forgive you" but it's obvious by your behavior that you haven't. You won't be able to forgive if you haven't lifted the penalty of their offense.
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Falling in love is a euphoric experience. But that euphoric feeling may blind you to things about that person that you don't see. Be open to listening to trusted family and friends and ask for their observations.
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Being sexually active before marriage will negatively affect your upcoming marriage. All of your past failures will affect your present and your future.
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Before committing to marry someone, it's wise to look into that person's past. You may discover that there are things in their past that you'll find impossible to live with.
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If you find it impossible to forgive someone who's hurt you, remember how much you have been forgiven by God.
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Would you like to have an intimate marriage? If so, be intentional about carving out time in your busy schedule to talk and listen to your spouse.
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How do you bring up the subject of marriage while dating? When a couple has been dating for at least a year, it's quite appropriate to being up the subject. If the response is negative, it probably makes sense to stop dating that person and move on.
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If a couple discovers that they both have the same love language, it's easier on their relationship. However, they may have a preferred way of expressing their love within that shared love language.
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One reason why couples struggle in their marriage is that their parents might not have been good role models in how to have a healthy marriage.
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Instead of continually reminding your spouse about how much they hurt you, take those hurt feelings to the Lord and ask Him to help you forgive. Consider how much you've offended God, and how graciously He has forgiven you.
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What is a desperate marriage? It's one in which one of the individuals is involved in a lifestyle that is extremely detrimental to the relationship. If this sounds like your marriage, you can find help in Dr. Gary Chapman's book Desperate Marriages.
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Is it right for newly weds to accept the offer of a loan from their parents? There's no right or wrong answer, but it depends on the nature or their relationship.
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If your wife's primary love language is Words of Affirmation but yours is not, you're going to have a big learning curve. Observe how other people express words of affirmation, practice them yourself, then express them to your wife.
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What is the purpose of sex in marriage? What was God's design? Scriptures reveals 3 purposes: Procreation, Companionship, and Pleasure.
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When someone has sinned against you, you only have two alternative responses - demanding justice or extending forgiveness. We should always forgive because we have been forgiven by God.
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As a couple, our sexual needs and desires will never be met unless we express those needs and desires to our spouse.
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Early exposure to pornography imprints those images in our minds. The good news is, the blood of Jesus covers our sin. Through prayer, visualize the blood of Jesus flowing over all of those images.
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Does the 5 Love Languages apply to children with special needs? Since every child needs love, this is true for special needs children as well. It's crucial that we discover what their love language is and give them heavy doses of it!
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In our society today, many people have been involved sexually before marriage. The commonly held view is that sexual experience better prepares us for marriage. All the research indicates otherwise.
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The circle of confession should be as large as the circle of sin.
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Some Christians have a negative attitude toward sex. This may be due to distorted sex education or an unfortunate sexual experience as a child.
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Can a person's primary love language ever change? Dr. Gary Chapman says your primary love language stays with you for a lifetime. But is can change momentarily during certain season's of life.
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You and your spouse are always at odds with each other. The first step in resolving your differences is learning how to respect each other's ideas, even when you don't agree.
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Contrary to the opinion of some, sex is not a topic that God finds taboo. In fact, sex was God's idea!
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Are you pleased with the way you invested your time and energy so far this year? Are there changes that need to be made? Maybe it's time to find a balance in where you put your time and energy.
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When we sin against God, it breaks our fellowship. The relationship can only be restored through repentance. The same is true in human relationships.
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What can be done to get your spouse to be more intimate with you? Find out why this is the case, and then take the necessary steps to correct it.
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In the context of dating, it's crucial that the couple gets to know each other on a deeper level. This includes getting to know each other's love language.
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A relationship cannot be restored unless the person who has sinned is willing to admit that they've sinned. This opens the door to forgiveness.
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As a husband, spending more time with your kids might allow your wife to spend more time with you!
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If your spouse is a chronic spender, the best way to deal with it is to come up with a budget that you and your spouse can agree on. Build into that budget a portion for each spouse to spend as they choose.
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How does a couple in the military show love to each other while deployed? This is especially difficult when their love language is physical touch. There are many creative ways to show your love - emotional love.
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Some people never accept responsibility for their actions. It's most likely because they were never taught to take responsibility for their actions when they were children.
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God not only give you the principles on which to build a healthy marriage, He also gives you the power to follow these principles.
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Has it been a good year so far? We might say "no" when referring to our finances, health or marriage. These things might be beyond our control, but the one thing we can control is our attitude.
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How can we as husbands channel God's love to our wives? It requires a commitment to love our wives, regardless of whether they behave loving or not. You will become the channel through which God's love will be shared.
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Have you ever wondered what we did before the advent of Computers? If we'll spend less time on our computers and more time interacting with each other, we'll discover what God had in mind when He created the family.
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Is it equally easy to speak all 5 love languages? If you grew up in a family where each family member was spoken to in their own love language, it's far easier to be fluent in all 5 love languages.
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How can couples learn to live together in love? When couples don't feel close to each other, there's a reason. Most likely, they aren't speaking each other's love language.
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Many of us are troubled with the upheaval in the financial markets. Remember what Jesus said: "A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions". Real satisfaction is not found in money but in loving relationships with God, our spouse, children and friends.
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The concept of Biblical love is the commitment to look out for the interest of your spouse whether they deserve it or not. We should follow the way in which Jesus loved us - He loved us before we loved Him.
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Showing kindness should be intentional. Look for ways in which you can help others. Kindness should be a way of life. It will transform those around you.
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Is it essential that you and your fiancé hold the same religious beliefs before getting married? Scripture teaches that you should be in agreement on the major spiritual issues but give latitude to minor differences in belief.
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Is it OK to be married and have close friends of the opposite sex? This scenario can be dangerous and might open the door to temptation. It's much better to have friends of the same sex.
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Our natural tendency is to return evil for evil. Showing kindness to those who are unkind to you will often put them to shame.
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A husband shouldn't wait for his wife to show him love before he begins to show love to her. Scripture tells us that "while were still sinners, Christ died for us". He loved us before we loved Him.
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When we were children, we tended to be kind to those who were kind to us. The same is true even as adults. However, Scripture says we should return good for evil. Being kind to someone who hasn't been kind to us is the highest level of kindness.
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Are you obligated to tell your wife about your past history? Not necessarily. By telling her, you might relieve some of the burden of your past, but you might also be adding a new burden on her - the knowledge of your past. Seek Godly counsel on the matter.
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Just because there's an expectation that your spouse should be your best friend doesn't mean you shouldn't have other close friends.
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Kindness is seeing the needs of others and reaching out to help them. If we choose kindness as a way of life, we'll enrich the lives of everyone with whom come in contact.
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When your spouse chooses to leave you, let them go. You can't make them stay. But continue to reach out to them and pray for them. If they come back, you'll be ready to begin to restore the relationship.
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When a husband has been unfaithful but repents, forgiveness is in order. What forgiveness does is open the possibility for healing. But forgiveness doesn't always remove the consequences of his sin.
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What's the most effective way to show love to your girlfriend? Dr. Gary Chapman recommends taking the online Five Love Languages quiz at 5lovelanguages.com. When you discover what her primary love language is, you'll be far more effective in expressing your love to her.
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If your children are to thrive in life, it's absolutely essential that they hear you say "I love you." If a parent never received words of affirmation growing up, it may be difficult for them to express love to their own children. Dr. Gary Chapman encourages you to read the book "The Five Love Languages of Children".
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What do we do when someone has sinned against us? Scripture calls on us to rebuke them for their actions. If they repent, we are to forgive them. If they don't repent, pray for them. Don't repay evil for evil.
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Being obsessed with the in-love experience is a love that's based on feelings. With time, feelings fade. True love is based on actions - the commitment to demonstrate love in spite of how we feel.
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God's love for us is a model of how we should forgive others. We are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. There are two parts to restoring a relationship - confession and repentance on the part of the offender, and forgiveness on the part of the offended party.
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If your daughter is obsessed with her appearance, it might be an indication she's struggling with her self worth. Condemning her will only push her away. If her love language is Words of Affirmation, offering positive comments about her appearance may make her feel affirmed and loved.
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Teens often push the boundaries of how they dress etc. This is their way of breaking away from their parents and becoming independent. Though the parents may be upset about this, it's vitally important that they still love their child, no matter what.
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The key ideas in Scripture for forgiveness are to cover, take away, or pardon. God's forgiveness relieves the sinner of God's judgment and extends mercy. That pattern should be followed when we struggle to forgive.
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Prayer is the only thing that has the potential for restoring relationships. That's because prayer brings God into the situation. When we try to work things out by ourselves, the end result isn't usually successful.
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Sin always separates us from God. The road back to God is repentance on our part and forgiveness on God's part. The same pattern is true in human relationships. We must forgive as we have been forgiven.
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How can you continue in your marriage after your spouse has had an affair? There is life beyond this. If your spouse confesses, expresses regret and asks for your forgiveness, the Christian thing to do is forgive him. Begin to rebuild trust in your relationship.
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The arrival of children can often diminish marital intimacy. You and your spouse must team up to care for your children, but not at the expense of your marital relationship.
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When your marriage is lacking that spark, your attention can be drawn toward someone else. Those "tingles" can lead to betrayal. Scripture says to "take every thought captive and be obedient to Christ". Don't let feelings lead you astray.
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Marriage is great before your first child was born. Afterward, your relationship isn't the same. Instead of becoming bitter, find out what makes your spouse feel loved, and begin to express that love in their love language.
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What can you do when your friend is obsessed with her boy friend? Being so "in love" can lead to making unwise decisions. Express your concerns with her.
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We become angry when we've been hurt by our spouse. Anger doesn't just go away with the passage of time. Matt. 18:15-20 tells us to lovingly confront our spouse. If they repent, forgive them.
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When your first child comes along, it often results in a decline of marital intimacy. You get so caught up with taking care of the baby that you don't have the time or energy to enrich your marriage. Don't resent your spouse - take positive action.
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When your spouse has been unfaithful, you cannot accept that as being all right. But don't give up on your marriage too quickly. Spend time with the Lord, and ask Him to begin a work in your spouse's life.
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Intimacy is at the heart of a healthy marriage. It gives the sense of being connected, loved, appreciated and respected. Marital intimacy can be squeezed out by busyness or the arrival of children. Maybe it's time to start dating each other again!
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No matter what you do, it seems like your wife doesn't feel loved. It could very well be that when she was growing up, she didn't feel loved, so she doesn't know what it feels like to be loved. Discover her primary love language and speak it to her often.
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Should you end the relationship is you've crossed the physical lines with your girlfriend? Not necessarily. If your true desire is to seek God's will, ending the relationship shouldn't be a given. Set clear boundaries with your girlfriend, and ask God for the strength to live within those boundaries.
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Sadly, physical and sexual abuse is a reality in the life of many teens. Most abuse is perpetrated by men. If you suspect someone of being an abuser, ask your child to tell you what occurred, then seek professional help for them.
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There's a Biblical approach to understanding divorce. God has clearly set boundaries for a holy marriage. But when a marriage dissolves, Scripture also teaches about God's grace and forgiveness of sin.
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In this generation, there's a tendency on the part of fathers to withdraw physical touch from their emerging teenage daughters. Studies show that withholding appropriate physical touch from your daughters will often cause them to look for love in other inappropriate ways.
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Having a very different love language than your spouse may make you feel like you're both living on different planets. The key is to learn and speak you're spouse's love language. That will naturally draw each other closer together.
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Is it Biblical for a husband to be a stay-at-home spouse? It's certainly not the norm; but when a wife has skills that enable her to better provide financially for the family, there's no Biblical prohibition to this arrangement. After all, in God's sight, the husband and wife are one - a team.
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Timing is everything when expressing love to your teenager. Pay attention to their mood. If they're in a bad mood, that's not the time to express your love to them. They'll be much more receptive to your expressions of love when they're in a good mood.
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Getting married will not solve all of your problems, and getting married might be worse than being single. Whether married or single, your relationship with God should be the central relationship in your life.
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If your teen's love language is touch, you must carefully focus on how, where and when you should touch. Hugging them in front of their peers might be embarrassing; but hugging them at home will be warmly received.
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How do you connect with your wife when she's always busy? In a kind and gentle way, express how much it hurts when you feel she's not making the time for you to be a part of her life.
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Tests have shown that the The 5 Love Languages translate well in any culture or language.
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As your child approaches their teen years, it important to keep talking to them in their own love language, but you should make sure you're talking to them in a more mature way.
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When you become angry, it's important to not only control your anger, but you should also process your anger. Controlling your anger without processing it will drive it deep inside, and might come out in negative behavior.
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When couples contemplate marriage, religion needs to be near the top of their list of matters that need to be discussed. The Bible says that you should never marry an unbeliever.
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What if you discovered that your wife emotionally cheated on you while you were engaged? How do you deal with the hurt? If she has confessed and apologized to you, you have to ask God to help you forgive her.
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What do you do if you believe your spouse's love language is changing? You may actually be observing her secondary love language, but she has only one primary love language. Taking Dr. Gary Chapman's love language quiz will help you learn what her primary love language is.
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In marriage, mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic. Sex can often become a battlefield for many couples. Information and communication are the keys to finding mutual satisfaction. Sex was God's idea. Look to His Word for guidance.
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Anger is an emotion that every human being experiences. Though anger is often wrong, it can also be appropriate because we all have a sense of right and wrong. It's important to learn learn practical ways to manage anger in a creative and responsible manner.
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Do you and your spouse have a money plan? Do you know how much debt your soon-to-be spouse has, or how much savings they have? Who will balance the checkbook? All these and other financial questions need to be discussed BEFORE you get married.
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How do you love someone who mistreated you as a child? It's never too late to attempt to talk to that person and explain how much they hurt you. But what if they may not apologize? Turn your hurt and that person over to God and know that God will deal with that person justly.
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What should you do when you have a friend who's madly in love with someone but they can't see the red flags that you see? That friend may not listen to you, but you owe it to them to speak truth in love and leave the rest to God.
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Did you know that toilets are not self-cleaning? How do you decide who's supposed to clean the toilet? At the very beginning of your marriage, it's important to come to an agreement as to which chores each of you will do. That will help mitigate conflict in your marriage.
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The foundation for your marriage is not the "in love" feelings. Rather, the foundation is discovering what the will of God is for your marriage and acting upon it.
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Arguments are bound to happen in a marriage. Dr. Gary Chapman has written the book, Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, that will prove very helpful.
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Wars are fought with military weapons; but the weapons of war in your marriage are hurtful words and deeds. Learn to love each other even in your disagreements.
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The first stage of love is "falling in love". It requires no effort on your part because it's based on emotions. But when your "in love" feelings fade, it requires covenant love. You must learn how to express your love in your spouse's love language.
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You do a lot around the house but get no appreciation for it. How can you express to your spouse that it hurts when you give but get nothing in return?
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Is he just brushing you off with his apology? Do you feel his apology isn't sincere? Maybe he's not speaking your language of apology.
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There are no healthy marriages without apology or forgiveness. Being able to apologize is a sign of maturity, and forgiveness is a Godly response to a sincere apology.
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The "in love" experience is simply a feeling. Statistics bear out that those feelings only last on average two years. Love is a choice not a feeling. If you want to know what real love is, read I Corinthians 13:4-7.
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One of the things many married couples wish they had learned prior to marriage is how to solve disagreements without arguing.
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Why would a husband not accept words of affirmation from his wife? It might be because words of affirmation is not his love language. Read Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages and discover what your husband's primary love language is.
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How can a marriage work when the spouses have opposite love languages? The good news is, anyone can learn to speak a love language that's not natural to them. Discover your spouse's love language, and then become an expert at speaking it!
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Each one of us is greatly influenced by our parents. When you're dating, spend a lot of time observing date's parents. Chances are what you see in them is what you can expect to see in the one you're dating.
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What does "falling in love" mean? Basically, it's just a feeling. We must use our minds and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us as to who we should marry.
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Being "in love" is not an adequate foundation for a strong marriage. The 'in love" feeling is just that - a feeling, but it's not a solemn covenant. Feelings alone won't sustain a marriage.
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Is it still possible to have a strong marriage when you've been having premarital intimacy? Dr. Gary Chapman says yes. God can forgive your sin, but you'll need the power of the Holy Spirit to help you abstain from any further intimacy until you're married.
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If your wife doesn't talk to you, it may be one of two things: 1. It just might not be her personality, or 2. She might be afraid of your reaction to what she says. Try to understand the "why", then you'll have some ideas on what you can do to make it easier for her to talk.
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Some dating couples spend more time preparing for their vocation than they do preparing for marriage. Prioritizing your preparation for marriage will lead to more success in every other aspect of your life.
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When a couple is struggling in their relationship, it's easy to just give up. Recognize that Satan is trying to destroy your relationship. Commit yourselves to spending more time with each other.
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When Christians spend time together in small groups to study the Scriptures and pray, it tends to stimulate growth. This is true for married couples as well.
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In a dating relationship, it's frustrating when your boyfriend wants to spend more time with his friends than with you. This can lead to resentment. If his priority is to spend more time with his friends than with you, things will be same even after you're married. Consider this to be a red flag.
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Rating your feelings on a scale from 1 to 10 and sharing that with your spouse is a good way to communicate your feelings efficiently. It's a communication technique that many couples have found helpful.
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At times, adult children make poor choices and choose to walk away from their relationship with you. Don't chase after them, but always be ready to restore your relationship if they return.
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Losing a loved one is always difficult. Often times, the biggest regret is not having spent more time with them and listening to them. Ask your loved ones questions while they're still with you and listen more than you talk.
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An abusive husband can drive a wife to infidelity. Their relationship can be salvaged, but it will require good counseling and spending time in God's Word in order to understand the root causes of their sin.
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At times, spending time apart from your spouse will give you time to filter your emotions and pain. But spending time apart might also drive each other further apart Meeting with a counselor is probably the most productive way to begin the reconciliation process with your spouse.
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The number one problem in marriage is lack of communication. Misunderstandings are common if we don't develop the skill of listening.
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Our culture (sometimes even in the church) is focused on meeting our own needs. True fulfillment in life comes by investing yourself in other people's lives.
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Miscommunication happens frequently in marriage. What one spouse says may not be understood by the other spouse. Listening is essential in understanding what your spouse is really saying.
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Is it possible to build a strong dating relationship while not living near each other? Dr. Gary Chapman says yes! Using the technology that is available today can make that happen.
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It can be discouraging to try to connect with your husband when he doesn't focus on you and listen. This can often be attributed to spending too much screen time.
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If your husband has walked out on you, begin praying that the Holy Spirit will convict him of his sin. If he repents, it's possible to begin the reconciliation process.
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It's so easy to dedicate time to our work, hobbies etc. but fail to dedicate time to building our marital relationships.
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A couple never enters marriage hoping to fail, but we often fail in applying Biblical principles to our roles as a couple. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit can we begin to align our lives with Scripture.
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If your child is spending too much time in front of his cellphone or computer, it's important that you help him find a balance between screen time and social interaction.
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Sometimes the best way to deal with an abusive husband is to apply tough love by moving out for a while until his behavior changes.
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When a problem arises in your marriage, it often leads to you and your spouse blaming each other. No doubt, both of you bear some of the fault. What you must do is confess the areas in which you are at fault - regardless of whether or not your spouse takes the same step.
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It's important to help your spouse reach their potential? The deepest satisfaction that a spouse can have is to see their mate reach their fullest potential in life - relationally and spiritually.
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Silence between separated spouses is quite common. It takes both spouses to communicate, but it only takes one to initiate the process.
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Should a married couple choose to attend separate churches? It's not necessarily wrong, but it's not advisable. If neither of them want to attend the other's church, it might helpful for them to agree to visit other churches that neither one of them are currently attending. They might end up finding a church that both can agree on.
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When one spouse is a social person while the other is an introvert, it can often lead to doing things separately. This drifting apart is not healthy. Both spouses need to take steps in each other's direction - making these differences more manageable.
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Separation does not equal divorce. There are many reasons why a separation could take place in a marriage; but if those reasons don't warrant a divorce, that time of separation should be used to seek reconciliation.
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How can you help your spouse be all that they can be? The way a marriage works is a man giving of himself for the benefit of his wife - helping his wife become all that God wants her to become.
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When the word "intimacy" is mentioned, men typically think of sex while women think of sharing emotions. Spiritual intimacy is all about sharing the most important parts of your life with your spouse.
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If your unfaithful wife returns to you and confesses her sin, there's hope for that marriage. But it will take time for trust to be reborn.
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A controlling husband throws off the balance of decision-making in a marriage.
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Why is communication in a marriage relationship so important?, because we are not mind-readers. If you never share your thoughts, your spouse will never know what you're thinking. Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to the body.
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Research shows that fathers spend practically no time talking with their children. And this is true of Christian fathers as well. The lack of meaningful conversation will lead to unhealthy families.
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Scripture commands children to honor their parents. If children refuse to obey their parents, they'll never honor them.
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A wife should be very concerned if her husband is texting other women. A husband who thinks he has this behavior under control is playing with fire and is putting his marriage in jeopardy.
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An angry husband needs to understand where his anger is coming from. Dr. Gary Chapman's book, Anger - Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way, is an effective tool to help him manage his anger.
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Scripture says, "without a vision, the people perish". Nowhere is that more true than in family life. It's essential that a couple have a clear Biblical picture of what a healthy family looks like.
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Loving your spouse is costly. Loving and serving your spouse should take priority over fulfilling your own desires.
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The key to a healthy family is an attitude of service. Remember, Jesus said, "I didn't come to be served but to serve". If a husband and wife begin serving each other, it won't take long for the children to get the idea that life is about serving others.
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Some married couples can't agree on how much to tithe. They should begin by studying what the Bible teaches about tithing, agree to meet in the middle, then begin working toward God's ideal of tithing.
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It's not unusual for married couples to lose that "in love" feeling over time. It's not a matter of you being "in love" but rather choosing to love. Scripture commands husbands and wives to love each other. Love may not come naturally, but it's something that can be learned.
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In his book The Family You've Always Wanted, Dr. Gary Chapman provides practical help on how to be a loving leader in the home. Following the example of Jesus, Christian leadership focuses on meeting the needs of the wife and children.
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If spouses would commit to reading Scripture and praying together, the church would become the Church, not just on Sunday.
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Teaching your children obedience doesn't have to be difficult. Begin by stating the rule clearly, then state clearly what the consequences will be if the rule is disobeyed. If consequences are to be administered, do it kindly but firmly.
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How can you stay connected with your spouse when your life is too busy? Step one is making sure you're speaking your spouse's love language. Then, give your marital relationship priority over anything else.
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There are very few hurts that are deeper than the hurt of a divorce. There are many very helpful resources for divorce recovery.
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Teaching and Training don't mean the same thing. Teaching emphasizes words, while training focuses on actions.
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It's crucial that we make our Christianity work first in our families. If our Christianity doesn't work in our families, it won't work outside of our families.
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So much of our lives is influenced by our childhood. Sharing those memories with your spouse builds intimacy.
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Arguing with your spouse during the first few years of your marriage is not unusual. But if discord persists, it would be wise to seek counseling.
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Dr. Gary Chapman provides some strategies to help you get your husband to read The 5 Love Languages book.
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There are many dysfunctional families, but what does a healthy family look like? In Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The Family You've Always Wanted, you'll learn the 5 signs of a healthy family.
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The greatest value you can place on a relationship is to invest in people rather than things.
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The loudest way of expressing love to your child is by speaking to them in their love language.
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If your wife develops an emotional bond with someone in the work place, it will definitely weaken your marital bond. She'll need to reaffirm her commitment to your relationship and set boundaries on how she interacts with others.
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Your love language doesn't change during the time you're dating or after your marriage. But with the arrival of children, there'll be a season where your affection might be directed more to your child than to your spouse.
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Any gift you give to your child, whether it's a necessity or a luxury, should be an expression of your love for them.
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Satan does everything he can to destroy relationships. This is because he opposes God's desire that we would have strong relationship with God and others.
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There are 5 love languages, but is there a universal love language? Gift-giving is the universal love language, but giving a gift should be an expression of love that is freely given with no strings attached.
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Why should couples take the 5 Love Languages quiz? The 5 Love Languages profile is simply a tool for couples to understand each other - particularly at the point of how to express love to each other.
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Your husband's love language is quality time, but he's too busy with work to spend time with you. If his love language is truly quality time, he'll have to decide what's most important to him and adjust how much time he devotes you.
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Although all children seem to value receiving gifts, not all children possess the love language of gift-giving. But the child whose love language is gift-giving will feel loved when given gifts.
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Often times, couples have differing political views. But if each spouse has some level of maturity, they can express their viewpoint while giving the other the freedom to express theirs.
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Does your child feel loved? Research shows that children who feel loved fare better in life than those who do not.
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How can you get your spouse to read The 5 Love Languages? One approach might be to ask them if they would agree to read at least the first chapter. If they're still resistant, don't push it further. But make it a priority to clearly speak their love language.
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It is essential for couples to draw lines on physical affection before marriage.
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If your spouse has a controlling personality, it's quite likely you don't have an intimate marriage. It can be helpful to agree with the premise of their arguments, but not with their conclusions.
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If you're going to build good family relationships, you'll to need to invest time in prayer for your family.
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Controlling spouses are difficult to live with. While there can be an upside to living with a controlling spouse, it can also result in the other spouse feeling belittled and devalued.
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Is it possible to change your love language? Our primary love language never changes, but we can choose to learn to speak other love languages to the people with whom we relate.
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Young couples often move in with their in-laws due to financial challenges. While this may work for a while, guidelines and deadlines need to be discussed at the very beginning.
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Struggling marriages today are often a result of parents poorly modeling marriage during their children's formative years.
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Can the 5 love languages be a solution to world peace? The 5 love languages are fundamental to human nature, regardless of cultural differences. Imagine if everyone in the world would speak each other's love language. The world would be a radically different place.
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What is a desperate marriage? It's when one spouse is involved in a lifestyle that is extremely detrimental to the relationship. Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book titled Desperate Marriages that addresses this issue.
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Military deployment makes maintaining your relationship with your spouse difficult. Dr. Gary Chapman offers a creative way for you to walk "hand in hand".
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Your husband has left you. Is there hope for your marriage? There's always hope for reconciliation. But the process of reconciliation might need to begin with you acknowledging that there have been failures on your part.
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Women often recoil when hearing the Scriptural mandate for wives to submit to their husbands. What's often missed is that both husbands and wives are to submit to each other. This calls for an attitude of service.
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The best way to build spiritual intimacy in your marriage is to pray and read the Bible together.
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Many contemporary Christians reject the concept of male leadership in the home. This is because there's a misunderstanding of Biblical headship.
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She's Catholic. You're an Evangelical Christian. Which route will you both take when united in marriage? This issue needs to be discussed and resolved before marriage.
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You're not a virgin anymore. Should you bring this up with your partner? Honesty is always the best policy. You should bring this up before marriage.
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The head of the husband is Christ, and the head of the wife is the husband. There is perfect unity and equality between the husband and wife; but their roles are different.
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Spiritual discernment requires that we examine whether or not a concept, command or action is clearly taught in scripture.
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God's design for marriage is that the husband should be the head of the wife; but it's one of the most exploited concepts in the Bible. Instead of the husband lording his authority over his wife, he must follow the example of Christ's headship over the Church - through sacrifice and service.
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How can a wife encourage her husband to put more effort into their marriage? Before she confronts her husband, she should begin by acknowledging her own failures. Then, speaking his love language, she should ask if he'd be willing to put some extra effort into their marriage.
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Can your "in-love" experience as an engaged couple run out before you get married? If you've been dating for more than two years, you can often come down off of that initial in-love high. This is a good opportunity to assess whether or not you're truly in love.
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Most counselors agree that one of the greatest problems in marriage is decision-making. When a couple doesn't agree with each other, it leads to deadlock. Find out how to break the deadlock on the next edition of A Love Language Minute.
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Men need to hold each other accountable. Accountability groups in a church provide men with ways to challenge each other to spiritual growth.
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We're all busy - sometimes too busy to listen. Listening is the only way that you will understand your spouse's thoughts and feelings.
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At what point do you say enough is enough when you're the victim of domestic abuse? Any physical abuse must be stopped immediately. Tough love requires communicating to the abuser that there will be consequences if the abuse doesn't stop.
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Is it possible for your spouse to have more than one love language? If they do, you'll have more avenues in which to express your love to them!
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Marital conflicts will never be resolved if a couple doesn't learn to listen to each other.
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What makes a man feel loved? By communicating your love to him in his love language.
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Rigidity in a marriage can lead to arguments. Arguments occur when one spouse insist on getting their way.
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What do you do when your spouse has filed for divorce? If your desire is to restore your relationship, listen to them. Ask them what lead them to this place.
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Sometimes it seems it's impossible to fill your spouse's love tank, even when you speak their love language. Ask your spouse what you could do to better express your love for them.
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It's vitally important that we resolve conflicts in our marriage because it will produce barriers to marital unity if the issues are not addressed.
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Love in a marriage is the attitude that says "I'm committed to enhancing your life for the rest of our lives". That means loving your spouse, even if there are things you can never change about them.
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What's so bad about arguing? Arguments are always charged with emotion. Arguments can turn spouses into enemies.
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Not dealing with past addictions will hurt your relationship with your future spouse.
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Learn how to get your spouse to want to spend more time with you.
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It's always appropriate to request forgiveness.
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It's often difficult to accept things about our spouse that we can't change.
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Why is it so hard for some people to say, "Please forgive me"? It might be because of fear - fear that the offended person might reject your apology.
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In order to understand yourself and relate well to others, it's important to know your own love language. Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages is a great tool to discover your own love language.
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How is it possible to forgive your fiancé if they've cheated on you? You might be able to forgive in the moment, but trust can only be rebuilt over time. You can only trust if a person proves to be trustworthy.
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Saying "I'm sorry" might not be enough. Apologizing in a way that's genuine might not be enough for the offended party. Each person has a unique language of apology - a language in which they can offer forgiveness.
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The challenge today is for parents to raise their children to be social in a screen-driven world.
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Is saying "I'm sorry" enough? Not necessarily. It's vital that when we ask for forgiveness, we ask forgiveness in the offended person's primary language of forgiveness.
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All research show that those who are sexually active before marriage have a higher divorce rate than those who wait until marriage.
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How can you show love during military deployments? Dr. Gary Chapman provides creative ideas on how to speak your spouse's love language while deployed.
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Many relationships die for lack of a sincere apology.
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Do you know how screens are affecting your child?
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If your spouse's love language is gift-giving, it's time to step up and show your love by giving them gifts frequently.
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In today's technical age, many couples have met using various web sites. This can be a very positive way of finding God's direction for the person you should marry.
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For some, the loudest expression of love is giving a gift.
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What social skills are you seeking to develop in your children?
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Most marriage ceremonies include the giving and receiving of rings. Your rings are a visible sign of your love and commitment that has no end.
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God doesn't have a primary love language. He speaks all 5 Love Languages. When He speaks to you, He speaks in your love language.
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New Years should be a time of reflection. Are you pleased with the way you invested your time and energy last year? A new year presents the opportunity to make changes in your lifestyle and priorities.
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Many people suffer from the pain of financial stress. Jesus taught that "a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions". Real satisfaction is found in loving relationships with God and other.
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Does your body language convey disinterest to your boyfriend? If so, ask him what message he's receiving from your body language. If you're willing, commit to changing that.
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Do you know how to forgive and love again? You can, when you realize that God taught us how to forgive and love.
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Do you know what your children are watching? Remember, you are the gatekeeper of your child's mind.
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Children wait in anticipation of their Christmas gifts. Likewise, the prophets of old waited in anticipation of the Messiah's arrival.
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When is the last time you gave your spouse a gift? In every culture, gift-giving is part of the love-marriage process.
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What do you do when your husband frequently emails a woman from a past relationship? Counseling may help, but hurt can still remain.
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Is it possible to change a person's love language? Attempting to change your spouse's love language to one that's compatible with yours is selfish - not sacrificial.
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What do you do when your spouse has broken your covenant of marriage?
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The Christmas season can often be characterized by stress, and stress can lead to harsh words. Romans 14:19 says "Let us make every effort to do what leads to peace".
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How do you raise your kids to be social in a screen-driven world?
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Many people get married in the same way they lease a car. On average, contract marriages end in divorce within three years.
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How do you get your spouse to show love in your love language?
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Many couples enjoy expressing their love in public. But is there such a thing as too much?
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In covenants, people make unconditional promises. Many people get married with the idea that "Let's see how it works out". If that's your attitude, your marriage won't work out very well.
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It's important that you help to create a positive emotional climate in the workplace.
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What is the emotional climate of your workplace?
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A strong marriage is possible even if you didn't have a good role model.
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Understanding the 5 Love Languages has helped many couples restore emotional intimacy in their marriage. It's also important to feel the emotional need of being appreciated. Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Languages of Appreciation can help.
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How appreciated do you feel at work? Most people feel unappreciated. You can change the emotional climate at work if you learn to speak the unique love languages of your supervisor and coworkers.
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What do you do when your fiancé has lost interest in you? Understand that their "in love" feelings will eventually go away. Maturity in a relationship requires that you learn to express your love for them in their own love language. It will rekindle their love for you.
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How can we keep love alive in our marriage when our focus is on our children or work? It's a matter of priority. Your children are important, but your relationship with your spouse is most important.
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Past failures grow into walls of separation. To remove past failures, you must first identify them.
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Dr. Gary Chapman talks about a breakthrough early on in his marriage. God showed him that love for his wife was best expressed with an attitude of servanthood.
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A spouse might say, "why can't we just forget the past and focus on the present and the future"? We must deal with past failures. If we don't, those failures will keep popping up.
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Does pornography make up for when you're not together? Absolutely not. Pornography never enhances a marriage because it takes the focus off your spouse and on to someone else.
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Our society is addicted to romantic love. Romantic love is obsessive in nature. It's important that we move from the "in love" stage of marriage to the covenant love of marriage.
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Inside each one of us is the potential to love; but often times we don't show that love for a variety of reason. It's going to require someone to take the initiative to love first. Why don't you become that person?
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Christians sometimes criticize one another for the way they serve in the church? Realize that each person has a unique love language. If they express their love for God in their love language while serving in the church, don't criticize them for it.
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What do you do when your spouse stays in the marriage because of his commitment, but not for love? The "in love" feeling doesn't last forever. But be grateful for his commitment! The book The 5 Love Languages can help build your love for each other.
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When considering marriage, it's particularly difficult when you've kept your self pure, but your fiancé hasn't. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends counseling for him. If he acknowledges his wrong doing and seeks God's forgiveness, you, too must forgive him.
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In today's society, many couples come to marriage with previous sexual experience. It's a myth that sex before marriage better prepares you for sex in marriage. All legitimate research says otherwise.
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The Bible says, "The love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit". So even if you don't feel loved by your wife, love her anyway - the way God loves you.
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God put man in the garden to work it, even before sin entered the world. Work is not a curse - it's a blessing.
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If you can't love yourself, are you able to love others? You must first learn to yourself, especially when you realize how much God loves you. If you've experienced God's love, you'll be able to love others.
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Is it necessary to apologize to those from past relationships? The basic pattern is always to apologize when you've wronged someone, even in the past. It will help you have a clear conscience.
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Are you finding it difficult to recover from a broken relationship? Don't try to force the issue. Give yourself time. You will get over it.
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The one Biblical command given to older wives is to teach the younger wives to love their husbands and their children.
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Why is there a disconnect in the workplace? It could be because the employees don't feel appreciated. Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages of Appreciation will provide some new insights.
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Is there hope for couples who've divorced but are still in touch? Absolutely, but it might require beginning with an apology. Learning to speak their love language is a good start in rebuilding the relationship. Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages is a great resource.
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You're newly married and your husband doesn't want to talk, but he would rather spend time with his friends. It might mean that he feels put down by you when you talk to him. On the other hand, there may be something else going on that raises red flags.
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A man's life doesn't consist in the abundance of his possessions.
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God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships.
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Conflicts are always going to arise because of one simple reality - we are human. Conflicts are not the problem. Selfishness is the problem.
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Biblically, there's no prohibitions against marrying a relative three times removed. However, it's worth checking with a medical doctor for his/her input.
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Don't be surprise when the "in love" feelings fade, because they always will. That's when The 5 Love Languages can help you stay emotionally connected with each other.
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Arguments seldom lead to a mutually satisfying solution.
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Being an effective pastor begins with being an effective husband. Pastors and ministry leaders won't have a powerful and effective ministry if they neglect the calling God has given them to be a Christian husband.
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If you want a healthy marriage, you must learn to listen. Listening leads to understanding. Once you understand what your spouse is thinking and feeling, you can have a meaningful response. Don't speak before you listen.
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It's very difficult for a couple to spend quality time together if one of them is away for extended periods of time (i.e. military deployment). But in today's world of technology, it's much easier to spend quality time together through avenues such as Face Time.
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Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages was written for men and women; but the special men's edition provides additional insights on how a husband should love is wife.
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When two people are talking at the same time, nobody's listening. For conversation to be meaningful, it requires talking and listening.
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We must be gleaning knowledge about our wife day by day. The best way to do that is to ask questions, then listen.
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The way we apologize in our younger years is based on the way our parents apologized; but that might not be enough. If we don't speak the right Language of Apology to someone we've offended, we're not likely to have a favorable response.
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When it comes to marriage, the age differences in our younger years is colossal. A wide age span between a younger and older person presents a host of problems. But as we get older, the age differences are less important.
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How can we expect to love the unlovely as God does when we are sinful and imperfect? Scripture says the love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. That's the only way we are able to love the unlovely.
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Apologizing and Forgiving are essential for a healthy marriage relationship.
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As husbands, we should focus our love and attention on our wives as Christ loves and focuses His attention on the Church.
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There are no successful marriages without apologies and forgiveness.
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What do you do when your boyfriend refuses to take the Love Language test? If he refuses to take a positive step in growing the relationship, that should raise a red flag for you.
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Is it possible to always forgive? The Biblical model is to always forgive, but forgiveness can't be demanded of us.
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What do you consider to be a genuine apology? What does the person need to say or do that will make it possible for you to forgive them? Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Languages of Apology will help you learn what your language of apology is.
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A husband that leads his wife like Christ leads the Church leads through servanthood.
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The last time you apologized, did your spouse accept your apology? It's probably because you didn't apologize in their primary Language of Apology.
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If your spouse's love language is gift-giving, it's not possible or practical to give them gifts ever day. Neither is it necessary to always give expensive gifts. A small simple gift still communicates your love for them.
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The mismanagement of anger (anger that's held inside) isn't going to go away simply by the passage of time. Managing anger is something that has to be learned.
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Her husband learned to speak her love language when she and her husband attended a Gary Chapman Love Language seminar.
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If your treat your spouse as a doormat, you preclude the possibility of love.
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If your spouse is undependable, how can you trust him with the big things if he isn't dependable in doing the little things?
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If your wife is criticizing you for not helping her, she's giving you valuable information that says her love language is Acts of Service.
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What is the husband's role in marriage? God wants to use the husband in the life of his wife to minister to her needs sacrificially.
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You cannot demand that your spouse speak your love language. True love is a choice and should not be coerced.
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Your boyfriend says his love language is sex. How can you show him love while honoring your commitment to wait until marriage? Understand that sex is not one of the love languages.
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Can you change your Love Language in order to accommodate your spouse? No, but you can learn to appreciate the other love languages - especially your spouse's.
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Don't let the in-love experience blind you to the truth. After the in-love feelings wear off, you will revert back to who you were before you fell in love.
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Pastors, who are you giving your life to? Pastors should be serving God through serving people. And serving your family first is fundamental to your service to God.
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Many people view marriage as a contract. The Bible views it as a covenant. Commit yourself to faithfulness, and conduct yourself in a sacrificial manner.
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What's the proper way of confronting your spouse when you suspect them of cheating on you? Confront them in an honest and positive way. If they deny it, accept their word. But if your suspicions persist, it'll eventually become obvious what's going on.
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How can a parent monitor their teen's activities without violating their trust? If your teen's secretive behavior is seriously detrimental to them, it's worthwhile to enter their space and confront them.
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"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her". We are by nature self-centered. Apart from the work of Christ and the ministry of the Holy Spirit, we are not likely to be that kind of husband.
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If you had learned the 5 love languages in your teen years, it would have helped you better understand your parents and siblings.
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What if your spouse has hurt you so deeply that you don't think you could ever love them again? It's understandable when the hurt is fresh; but we must realize that God loved us, even while we were yet sinners.
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What is the appropriate age for teens to start dating? Every child is unique in their level of maturity. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends the age of 16.
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What is the kind of music your teenager should or shouldn't be listening to? Realize that teenagers have always had their own kind of music. If the lyrics go against Biblical principles, express your concerns. However, realize that your teen is in a stage of breaking away from you. Ultimately, they have to make their own decisions and are accountable to God.
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The Biblical concept of marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to live together in mutual respect for the glory of God.
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What would happen if your teen learned the 5 love languages and applied them to your family? You would see your family experience a new level of emotional bonding.
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God give us the principles and power to build a healthy marriage. Many of God's principles go against our nature. For instance, do good to those who do evil. This applies to marriage. A spouse is more likely to repent of you're willing to forgive.
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What is the best way to discipline your teenager? When you make a rule, explain the specific consequences. That way, you're less likely to overreact when your teen breaks the rule. Stay within the boundaries of the consequences.
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How can you have a positive influence on your teen when they think you're old fashioned and out of touch? Let them know that you have to do what you think is best for them - even if they think you're old fashioned.
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When your child becomes a teenager, you must stop preaching and start teaching. Learn the art of asking questions as you teach your teen.
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What can a teenager do when they don't feel loved by their parents? Surprisingly, a teen should learn and speak their parent's love language.
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In order to spend quality time with your teenager, you must develop the art of listening.
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Does your wife respect you? Maybe not; but the one thing you don't want to do is demand respect. Respect has to be won. A good starting place is to make sure you're speaking her love language.
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Is there ever a "right time" to get a divorce? Dr. Gary Chapman says there's certainly a time to separate. But every effort should be made to reconcile before considering divorce on Biblical grounds.
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It's often challenging to show love to your teenager, even if you know and speak their love language. If your teen's love language is quality time, make sure your teen is the focus of your attention.
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"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Many teenagers have never applied this verse to their parents. If you're a teen, trying loving your parents the way you would want them to love you.
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How can you spend quality time with your teen in a busy world? Without focused attention on your child, they'll become impaired in their emotional and psychological growth. Busy parents who want their children to feel loved must MAKE time to give them focused attention.
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How can you help your childish boyfriend to grow up and ace like an adult? First, understand that the time doesn't take foolishness out of the heart of a man. If he's childish at age 20, he'll most likely be childish at age 30 and beyond. You might consider moving on.
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Don't rush into marriage. A helpful resource to knowing if you and your prospective spouse are compatible is Dr. Gary Chapman's book, "Things I wish I'd known before we got married".
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What does it mean to love your spouse as Christ loves the Church? It begins with taking the initiative in loving your spouse, even if they aren't loving you. Love is costly but essential.
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"Honor your mother and father" seems to be a command many teens have not discovered. When teens learn and speak their parent's love language, it can change the emotional climate of the family.
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In Hebrews 12 we read that we shouldn't lose heart when God rebukes us. Why does God discipline us? It's because He love us! His discipline is always for our good. As parents we, too, must discipline our children for their good.
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How can you show love to your spouse while they're away from you? Dr. Gary Chapman recommends that you study his book "The 5 Love Languages - military edition". It will prove helpful in non-military separation as well.
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How do you deal with a husband with an abusive temper? Uncontrolled anger is one of the most destructive forces in a marriage. Be sure you're speaking his love language, them ask him to go for counseling.
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If your love language is Acts of Service, you know that serving others can take a toll on you physically and emotionally. Taking time to care for yourself is often the best thing you can do for your family.
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Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book called A teenage guide to the 5 Love Languages. It will help your teen understand that each member of the family has a primary love language.
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Have you ever wondered why you have a silent spouse? One reason might be that you shoot down his ideas. This strikes at his self esteem. Instead, present your ideas in the form of a question and let him express his opinions.
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The best advice Dr. Gary Chapman gives you on your wedding day is to not let all the details detract from the occasion. Relax, celebrate, and enjoy being with friends and family.
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You have a problem child and you're exasperated with him. What do you do? You love your child, but it's important that he feels loved. Begin by speaking your child's love language.
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Can trust be reborn in a marriage? Yes, if integrity is reborn.
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Ask your husband to join you in reading a good book on marriage. Then, encourage him to sit down and discuss what he's learned. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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When a couple comes to the point of separation, it's usually with many negative emotions. Instead of uttering angry and hurtful words, respond to to your spouse as a friend. Our example is Jesus. He loved us even when we were his enemy.
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It's not appropriate for a husband to make comments about beautiful women in front of you. Remind him that he's married and his attention should be focused on you.
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Sex before marriage does not enhance a relationship. Waiting to have sex after marriage will save you a lot of pain and give you a better foundation for a successful marriage.
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If your marriage is falling apart, the counter intuitive thing to do is love your spouse. Scripture teaches that love is patient. Your marriage didn't fall apart over night, so reconciliation probably won't take place over night either. Be patient.
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A common barrier to good communication in your marriage is when one spouse talks so much that the other never gets a chance to talk. Instead of talking excessively, ask your spouse good questions, then listen!
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Is it possible to love your unfaithful spouse? Remember that the Bible says we are to love our enemies. So show your spouse acts of kindness. It may be the beginning of your reconciliation process.
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How can you and your spouse avoid making the same mistakes your parents made? The key is to get a clear biblical picture of what a healthy family looks like, then live it out. You don't have to repeat the pattern of your parent's marriage.
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How do you encourage your spouse when they're out of work? Make them feel loved by speaking their love language. They may not have work at the moment, but they have YOU!
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When your children are young, teach them to be helpers. When your children see that service is important to you, it'll become important to them.
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If communication between spouses is practically nonexistent, make an effort to talk to your spouse about things that they're interested in. Often times, they'll begin to open up.
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A healthy family has an attitude of service to each other. Service to others is a virtue that has a positive impact on every aspect of culture.
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Are married couples obligated to have children? Deciding not have children should not be made for selfish reasons. But there are plenty of legitimate reasons why a couple would choose not to have children.
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When you're young, dating someone much older should raise a red flag. But the age gap between you and your date when you're much older isn't much of an issue.
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In a healthy family, work is an act of love. The question is, who will do the work and with what attitude. Building a positive work attitude in your children comes from the parents modeling a positive attitude.
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We waste our energy when we try to convince our spouse that they're wrong and you're right. But resolving a conflict is possible when we decide to listen instead of argue.
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A wife will never resent her husband for performing acts of service.
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Young couples should make it a priority to spend more time with each other than with their in-laws.
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Depression that extends over a long period of time can be very difficult to deal with. Counseling and properly prescribed medication are essential.
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Loving service to your children is a gift. Serve them with love rather than an attitude of bitterness.
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The best way to overcome barriers in communicating with your spouse is to listen to each other.
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Expressing love to your child in their love language - acts of service - should be age appropriate. You should do for your children what they can't do for themselves.
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When dating or being engaged for a long period of time, the original spark of being "in love" will often fade. The average span of euphoria lasts two years. Love does not depend on feelings. Love is a commitment. Learn to speak each other's love language.
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Learn how to respond when your boyfriend doesn't show any affection.
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Children with full love tanks are more likely to obey parents, help others and reach their potential in learning.
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Good communication in marriage requires that you affirm the validity of your wife's thoughts and feelings. That will encourage her to open up and express herself to you.
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Parenting is a service-oriented vocation. The day you decided to have a child, you enrolled for full-time service. Show love to your child by serving them in a way that's best for them.
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You're in love with your boyfriend, but your friends say you're not a good match for each other. Should you listen to your heart or to your friends? Dr. Gary Chapman says "listen to your friends"!
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Your boyfriend's love language is physical touch. How can you make him feel loved while you're dating and still save intimacy for marriage? Don't equate physical touch with sexual intercourse. There are many affirming ways to touch that don't lead to sexual intercourse.
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The non-communicating spouse isn't always the husband. Wives often shut down and don't communicate when they are angry or hurt. The best way to process these feelings is to talk about it.
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People are inclined to act like our parents when they get older. But it doesn't mean it has to be that way. If you don't want to become like your parents, you need to do something about it now.
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Patterns of behavior learned in childhood are often hard to break when you become an adult. Learn to break these patterns when you read Dr. Gary Chapman's book Desperate Marriages.
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What do you do when you've fallen out of love with your spouse? The objective is to learn how to stimulate love after you've come down off of the emotional high of feeling in love. And that only happens when you learn to speak your spouse's love language.
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Your love tank is empty from years of not receiving love. What do you do? Love stimulates love. Speak love to others in their love language. Because they feel loved, they're inclined to express love to you.
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Have you ever gotten the silent treatment from your spouse? How did you respond? The answer lies in you understanding why your spouse has gone silent.
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Our culture tells us that the foundation of a marriage is being in love. But what does it means to be in love? Being in love is a feeling. True love is a commitment.
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If you want a healthy marriage, you must learn to listen. Listening leads to understanding. If you really listen to your wife's thoughts and feelings, you can have a meaningful response.
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If your wife's love language is acts of service, will she accept your acts of service if you hire someone else to provide the help? Ask her. If she has a problem with that, commit to helping her personally.
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You discover your husband is soliciting other women. Can you ever trust him again? Confronting him must happen first. Forgiveness may follow only if there's true repentance.
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When two people are talking at the same time, no one is listening. Consequently, there is no communication taking place.
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The time to prepare for marriage is not after you're engaged. The time to prepare for marriage is NOW.
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People have different ideas about what it means to apologize. There are 5 languages of apology. If you don't speak someone's primary language of apology, you're not likely to have a favorable response.
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If you never make the effort to speak your girlfriend's love language, your relationship will go nowhere. If you truly love her, you should at least try. You'll be pleased with the results.
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Is it possible to change your spouse's love language to suit you? Absolutely not. If you truly love your spouse, you will choose to speak to her in her primary love language. It's up to you to make the adjustment.
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Are you currently in a relationship that is broken or fractured? What would it take to heal that relationship? There are two essential actions that must take place - apologizing and forgiving.
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No matter how young or old you are, it's always possible to learn how to have a good relationship.
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If you've been egregiously wronged by your spouse, forgiveness may be extremely difficult unless they sincerely apologize to you in your primary language of apology. There are no healthy marriages without apologies.
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Is it possible to give someone too much love in their primary love language? If the person you love asks for some space, it may be that your expressions of love encroach on their time or responsibilities. Give them space.
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What do you consider to be a sincere apology? If you're the one who was wronged, it all depends on whether or not the apology was spoken in your primary language of apology.
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There's a deep human need to feel loved. No matter at what stage a person finds themselves, they will thrive if their love tank is full. That can only be accomplished when love is expressed to them in their primary love language.
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When is the last time you apologized? Did the one to whom you apologized seem to forgive you? If not, you may not have been apologizing in their unique language of apology.
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Lengthy engagements can often lead to a strained relationship. This is often the result of the euphoric feelings dissipating.
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How long after a divorce should you wait to begin dating? Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that you should wait at least two years before dating. Reason being - research shows that it takes about two years to get back on level ground emotionally.
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Looking for positive changes in your marriage relationship? Consider attending a 5 Love Languages seminar. It could very well take your marriage to a whole new level!
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Are you able to influence your spouse with love? The answer is "yes" if you share your heart with them in their love language.
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Does your spouse treat you like a doormat? A doormat is an inanimate object that has no will of its own. Treating your spouse like a doormat will make them your slave but not your lover.
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How can you convince your spouse that counseling can be helpful for your marriage? Let your spouse know that you're going for counseling to improve your marriage. Invite your spouse to join you; but resolve to go whether or not they agree to go with you.
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Your primary love language may seem to change as your seasons of life change, but your primary love language will always remain the same.
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If your spouse is often critical of you for not doing something for them, it may mean that Acts of Service is their love language. But their criticism is an ineffectual way of pleading for love.
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Are you falling in love with someone you shouldn't marry? Feeling "in love" with them is only one factor for compatibility in a marriage. Intellectual, emotional and social compatibility is just as important. If you see a lack of compatibility, marriage is not recommended.
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Your love language might be acts of service, but you shouldn't demand acts of service from your spouse. Your spouse might do what you want, but it won't be an expression of their love.
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How do you apply the love languages in your relationship with God? You were drawn to God's love for you because He spoke to you in your love language. We can respond to God's love by expressing our love for Him in our love language.
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How much should you know about your boyfriend's past before getting married? Dr. Gary Chapman says it's crucial that each of you be honest with the other as you contemplate marriage. If you don't, the truth will eventually come out, and your spouse will feel like you deceived them.
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Is it possible to have a thriving marriage in today's culture? Movies, news reports and social media might lead you to think otherwise. But applying God's principles to your marriage can lead to a deeply satisfying marriage -- even in today's environment.
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If your marriage needs improvement, get alone with God and ask Him where you need to improve. Be prepared to hear His answers, then act on them.
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There will always be challenges in the later years of marriage, but approaching them with a positive attitude will lead to joy.
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Can the use of a person's love language help them while they're depressed? Speaking the love language of a person who suffers from depression can certainly be helpful; but ultimately, that person should seek professional counseling for their depression.
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What might be the cause for "falling out of love" during your engagement? One cause might be that your engagement has gone on too long. It's typical to lose your "in love" feelings over time, causing you to conclude that you've fallen out of love.
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Should sex be an important thing in the later years of your marriage? Dr. Gary Chapman says YES! God created us as sexual creatures, and marriage was designed for intimate relationships. So don't put sex on the shelf.
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What's the first step to improving your marriage? The first step is to first examine if there's anything that you're doing or not doing that has led to your troubled marriage.
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Financial challenges can cause anxiety in your marriage as you approach retirement. Being worried about the future can be debilitating, but being concerned about your future can lead to action.
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Is there hope for your dating relationship if your boyfriend is afraid of getting married? God made us for relationships, and no dating relationship will ever equal a marriage relationship. Move on if this phobia persists.
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What do you do when your fiancé seems closer to their parent than with you? That may not be a bad thing as long as they include you when making important decisions.
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If the reason you choose to make a move during retirement is to be closer to your grandchildren, that may not be the wisest move. It's quite likely that, at some point in the future, your children will have to move away. Then what?
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The best way to motivate your children is the speak and connect with them in their own love language.
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Changing jobs in the later years of your marriage can be fraught with danger. You may think a new job will work out OK, but that's not always the case. If you become disappointed or unfulfilled with your new job, that stress can result in tension within your marriage.
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Due to the enormous hurt that led to your separation, it's advisable that there be no contact between the two of you. Extended time away may be necessary for healing. However, for the relationship to be renewed, contact will have to take place at some point down the road.
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How does one get their spouse to renew their interest in you? First, understand that the "in love" feelings for each other eventually wane. So it's important that you know your spouse's love language and speak it often!
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What are the challenges that come with retirement? One humorous answer might be that you have twice the spouse and half the money.
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How do you deal with a spouse who makes excuses for their affair? There's no excuse for having an affair. When you and your spouse got married, you made a covenant to be faithful to each other. Having an affair breaks that covenant.
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One might think that once your kids are grown and out of the house, the second half of your marriage will be the best half. But what if your grown children make poor choices and need your help. Now what? Be listening today to hear Dr. Gary Chapman's advice.
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Should you keep expressing your love to your spouse even while separated? Dr. Gary Chapman says to respect whatever your spouse requests. If they say "Don't call me", then don't call them.
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Is it possible to have several primary love languages? Having several strong love languages indicates that you'll feel loved when any one of them are spoken to you; however, there will always be one that surpasses them all!
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Many people feel that having to work is part of the curse. But according to Genesis 1, work is actually a blessing from God.
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How do you go about turning differences with your spouse into assets?
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What can you do when your spouse chooses to reconnect with their past boyfriend/girlfriend?
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Believe it or not, it's still possible to be married and love it!
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How do you get your spouse to open up and talk with you?
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What do you do when your child is caught inappropriately touching another child?
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Many couples view marriage as a contract rather than a covenant.
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There are many ways that sin can hurt a relationship.
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How should husbands love their wives? As Christ loves his Church - sacrificially.
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What can a wife do when her husband seems to love football more than her?
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What can a husband do when his wife feels insecure about her appearance?
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Your spouse has hurt you so deeply that you don't know if you can ever love them again.
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You're never too old to learn how to have a good relationship.
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What it the Biblical concept of marriage?
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What do you do when your husband won't join you in the decision-making process?
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What dynamics are at play when your stay-at-home wife just got a job?
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Do you remember what it was like before you fell in love?
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You've divorced. Can God still forgive you?
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What do you do when your husband demands that you love him in all 5 Love Languages?
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There are 3 radical and negative approaches to a troubled marriage.
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Growing up social - raising kids in a screen-driven world.
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Many couples give up on their marriage if they feel there's no hope.
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You and your spouse have different religions. Is it still possible to have a good, long-term marriage with this major difference?
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With so many problems associated with marriage, what's the point in getting married?
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Many couples are at a stalemate because they have allowed a wall to develop between them.
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Is technology drawing your family closer together or farther apart?
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You can never have a perfect marriage, but you can definitely have a better marriage.
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What do you do when your love language is words of affirmation, but your boyfriend doesn't like to talk?
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It can be hurtful and embarrassing when you tease your spouse in front of others.
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How do you make a decision when you and your spouse don't agree?
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Philippians 4:12 spells out the ways in which we should love others. Put those concepts to work in your marriage, and you'll be well on the road to success!
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Your friend just got married and now you're lonely in your singleness. How can you overcome loneliness when you've "lost" your friend? You can still stay in contact with your friend. The relationship isn't gone, it's just the nature of the relationship that has changed.
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What should be the top priority goals in your new marriage? First and foremost, learn each other's love language! When a couple comes down off the high of that in-love experience, it's critical that you speak your spouse's love language. That will help keep your love alive.
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Some couples have never learned to make decisions together. Making decisions independently and forcing those decisions on their spouse will never create a healthy marriage.
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Why have you lost your physical attraction toward your spouse? One contributing factor might be an abusive spouse. Identify that and other root causes, then seek wise counsel.
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Team members who can't agree on a game plan will never be winners. From the very beginning, God's plan for marriage was for a husband and wife to support one another in the decision process. When a husband cuts his wife out of the decision-making process, they cease to be a team.
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When is it appropriate to begin talking with your child about sex? When your child is at the age where their curiosity begins to develop, it's time to begin to teach them about sex in increments that are within their capacity to understand.
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How can you build confidence in your insecure child? Dr. Gary Chapman's counsel is to give your child opportunities to win! Find their strengths, then create activities in which they can succeed.
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The way a couple makes decisions can make or break their marriage. A domineering husband or wife destroys the spirit of their spouse. This is not Biblical. Marriage is meant to be two persons on the same team. God is the coach, and the husband and wife are teammates in the decision-making process.
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How do you go about giving your child gifts without spoiling them? If their love language is gift-giving, give them gifts, but don't give them everything they want. Give them gifts that are meaningful and will help them in their development.
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What are some meaningful ways for a father to enrich the life of his son? Dr. Gary Chapman makes a few suggestions. Hiking, traveling, going to amusement parks or going on a missions trip. These events and many more can serve to strengthen the father/son bond.
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Does separation equal divorce? Actually, no. Separation might be necessary and the most loving thing you could do. Love says "I love you too much to stay and let you destroy our marriage". If your spouse is willing, seek counseling together.
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Long deployments in the military can often cause marriages to suffer. Dr. Gary Chapman has published a military version of his 5 Love Languages book. It's filled with ideas that are designed to help couples stay connected while deployed.
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Is it right for a wife to stop loving her abusive and lazy husband and move out? Actually, she probably never stopped loving him; but moving out may be the most loving thing she could do. When he realizes what he has lost, he might change his ways.
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Teenagers often make poor decisions. Eventually they'll realize they made a mistake. In the meantime, love them and let them know you're there for them.
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How should a Christian family work out a budget that includes tithing? Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that we begin with 10% to our local church. Then, support other organizations and ministries that God places on your heart.
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Disobeying God hurts your and others. Disobedience will fracture a marriage relationship. Matthew 18 gives clear direction as to how an offending spouse should be confronted. This is tough love.
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When's the last time you prayed for military marriages? The stress that military families experience is immense. Pray that God will protect them, and help them process the stresses of military life.
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In a marriage relationship, there are certain things that are never acceptable: physical abuse, sexual infidelity, addictions etc. Loving confrontation must occur. If the spouse repents, restoration is within the realm of possibility.
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Both men and women can experience a mid-life crisis. This is often a sign of dissatisfaction with our lives now, and a bleak outlook for the future. Dr. Gary Chapman recommends that we seek God's will on how we should live out the remainder of lives.
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Have you noticed that the differences between you and your spouse are becoming more pronounced? Fixating on the differences rather than focusing on the common bonds may indicate that you're not happy with your relationship. Commit to making changes that will cause your relationship to draw closer.
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Love is not always meek and mild. At times it must be firm. Jesus loved his disciples and even the Pharisees; but he loved them too much to allow their sinful behavior to go unchecked.
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How soon should a person remarry after a divorce? Don't rush it. As long as neither of you have remarried, there's always hope for reconciliation. If your former spouse remarries, there's no hope for reconciliation. At that point, you'd be free to remarry.
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It's impossible to have intimacy in a marriage without communication. A married couple can only achieve intimacy if they share their innermost being with each other. That's communication on the deepest level.
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Scripture tells us to love our wife as Christ loves the Church; but as sinful human beings, it seems impossible to do. With the power of the Holy Spirit, we can love our spouse selflessly if we follow Christ's model of sacrificial love.
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You've been dating for 7 years, and now your girlfriend wants to take a break. If you've been dating for a significant period of time, you should be able to make a decision to move forward with marriage. It's safe to assume your girlfriend is tired of waiting and wants to call it quits.
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Have you lost intimacy in your marriage? Time to call in the wrecking crew! The wall that blocks intimacy must be demolished. And the most effective demolition tool is confession.
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What if you're dating someone who isn't motivated to work? That should be a red flag! God intended us to work even before sin entered the world. So if they're just lazy, don't pursue the relationship any more.
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What do you do when you've lost intimacy with your spouse? Dating back to the garden of Eden, it was sin that fractured intimacy between Adam and Eve. Search your heart and see if you're harboring sin that might be contributing to your lack of intimacy.
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You have an aggressive personality, but your spouse is more passive. Is this bad? Neither is bad, but each personality should be kept in balance.
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Should you marry someone your parents disapprove of? When you're "in love", you can often be blind to things in each other that outsiders can see. Parents know you the best and may be able see problematic issues that you may not see. It's wise to at least consider their advice and wisdom.
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Why are you and your spouse drifting apart? Maybe it's an indication that each of you has a different fundamental need that's not being met. Ultimately, though, both of you are asking for the same thing - intimacy. Things can turn around if you both learn to speak each other's love language.
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It's important that your children have a solid Christian foundation before going to college. It will help them challenge the world's philosophies, opinions and religions and contrast them with what scripture teaches.
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Marriage was designed for intimacy. God's response to Adam's loneliness was the creation of Eve and the institution of marriage. At the heart of marriage is oneness.
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Should you marry someone with a history of divorce in their family? It's something you should be concerned about; but Dr. Gary Chapman recommends his book Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married as a helpful resource in addressing your concerns.
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Should you marry someone who's not physically attracted to you? The short answer is NO; but seeking advice from a counselor before marriage is a good idea.
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Should we speak to our child in all 5 love languages, or only in their primary love language? The child who thrives the best in life is one who can give and receive love in all 5 love languages. But it's important to speak their primary love language regularly.
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Introverts are energized by being alone. Extroverts are energized by being around people. Give your spouse the freedom to be energized in a way that works best for them.
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Taking note of what your child requests the most will help you discover what their love language is. Listen to the requests of your child and discover what makes them feel loved.
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What if you're uncertain about what your love language is? Dr. Gary Chapman offers creative ideas that will highlight what your primary love language is.
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Is it possible to regain your girlfriend's trust after lying to her? Can trust be reborn? Yes, but you must regain her trust by committing to never lie to her again. Your faithful commitment to honesty will help rebuild trust over time.
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How do you learn your child's love language? The best way is to observe how they express love to others. Don't know what their love language is?, Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, will be of tremendous help!
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If you and your spouse seem to be drifting apart due to your focus on the daily grind of life, it may mean you have to go back to what drew you together in the first place. So make time on a regular basis to "date" your spouse!
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The most important goal in parenting is to make sure your child grows up feeling loved. The best way to do that is to learn what their love language is and speak it often!
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If you've been dating someone for a long time but you don't feel loved by them, it's time to move on. If he hasn't learned to love you now, he won't express love to you in your marriage.
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Expressing love for your spouse in their love language fills up their "love tank". But what if your love tank is a different size than theirs? Listen today to hear Dr. Gary Chapman's practical answers.
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What makes one child feel loved isn't necessarily what makes another child feel loved. This is because each of them probably have a different love language. Check out Dr. Gary Chapman's book called The 5 Love Languages. It will help you discover each child's love language.
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Scripture says "We love God because he first loved us". So instead of focussing on receiving love, focus on expressing your love for others in their love language. Be the first one to express love, and it's likely your love will be reciprocated.
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Is verbal abuse a problem in your marriage? If it is, ask God to help you see that behind every abuser is a person of value to God. Remind your spouse about how they used to be kind and thoughtful when you were dating. Tell them that's why you believe that they can change their abusive ways.
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If you find yourself needing to hear your spouse tell you "I love you" on a daily basis, it most likely indicates that your love language is Words of Affirmation.
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What do you do when your spouse is getting their emotional needs met by others? Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that you have a frank conversation with your spouse. Ask them to tell you what needs they have that are going unmet, and then commit to meeting those needs.
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Verbal abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse. Those who verbally abuse others often have low self-esteem, and have most likely suffered verbal abuse while growing up. Seek counseling.
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What do you do if you haven't dated in a while? Dr. Gary Chapman recommends that you start by finding a church that has a strong singles ministry. Or you might consider using a Christian dating site.
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Verbal abuse is a relatively new word, but an ancient malady. We often destroy the people we love the most - our family - by our hurtful words. Proverbs says, "A fool gives full vent to his anger". Seek counseling right away.
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You show love to your spouse, but you don't receive any in return. What do you do? Don't give up! Consistently speak to them in their love language. In time, they may be inclined to speak yours.
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Poor family relationships are often passed down to the next generation. The best way to break the cycle is to learn your child's love language.
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We often hear about physical abuse, but what about verbal abuse? Verbal abuse destroys Respect, Trust, Admiration and Intimacy - all keys to a healthy marriage. Remember, Scripture says that "Life and death are in the power of the tongue".
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What social skills are you trying to develop in your children? Dr. Gary Chapman suggests the following: 1. How to receive and show affection. 2. How to express appreciation. 3. The skill of anger management. 4. The skill of apologizing. 5. The skill of focused attention.
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When your marriage seems hopeless, it often leads to giving up completely. You can't change your spouse, but you can influence them by your determination to not give up.
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Some couples aren't on the same spiritual level. Dr. Gary Chapman provides some practical steps a couple can take to draw closer to each other and to God.
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Does your husband always want to be right? Maybe, but so do you. In reality, you both can't be right. Learn to respect each other's views and try to see the situation from their perspective.
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Are your children leaving and cleaving? If you want what's best for them, you need to make it easy for them to leave.
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If you're concerned about what your children are watching, ask them if it's having a positive or negative impact on how they think and behave. Challenge them to learn to filter what they watch through the lens of your family values.
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It may be difficult to accept advice from your in-laws; but consider the fact that with increased age also comes increased wisdom.
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Can the Five languages be used to manipulating people? Yes they can; but if you use the five love languages simply to manipulate others, it's no longer love.
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What do you do if your teenager doesn't want to attend church any more? Explain to them that your family attends church together. After they turn 18, that decision is now up to them.
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The command to honor your mother and father isn't rescinded after you get married. We are told to leave our parents, but that doesn't mean you stop honoring them.
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Social media can be a way of communicating, but dating via social media will not build your relationship unless you spend face-to-face time together.
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What does leaving and cleaving in a marriage look like? It means that you and your spouse lean on each other rather than on your parents.
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It's difficult to have quality time with your spouse when their priority is work. Your husband needs to understand that less money and more time with you will bring more happiness to the both of you.
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You're having the same arguments over and over again. How can you change that? Listening empathetically to your spouse is desperately needed in finding resolution instead of winning arguments.
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For better or worse, our in-laws are a part of our lives. God's instruction to honor our parents extends to our in-laws as well.
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How can you have a positive influence on your negative spouse? With God's help, take the initiative to show love to your spouse, even when they're difficult to live with.
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A couple that's living in hard financial times often discover that they can live on far less than they thought.
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Living with a wife who's personality it much stronger than yours can leave you feeling like she's treating as a child. Express your concerns to her and try to establish a more equal relationship.
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Learn how to diffuse situations in order to avoid escalating conflict.
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Many families are living under difficult financial pressures. But as a Christian, we need to understand that money is supposed to be our servant, not our security blanket.
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Children learn from their parents how to love. If parents speak their child's love language in their early years, that child will be equipped to show and receive love.
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One of the major benefits of trusting God is not having to worry about money.
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How do you counsel a friend who's blindly in love? Young love is often blind, and your friend is usually not inclined to listen to their parent's warnings. But they're much more open to accepting counsel from you as a friend.
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What do you do if your love language is physical touch, but you've been abused in the past? Release your abuser to God, and begin to learn how to love and be loved.
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May couples make foolish financial decisions because they have left God out of the process.
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Are you speaking your spouse's love language, but it still doesn't seem to be working? Understand that although your spouse has received your acts of love, they may not always reciprocate.
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Regardless of how much money we have, we must ultimately put our trust in God for His provision.
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Develop ways to resolve conflict without resorting to arguing.
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If you truly feel loved by your spouse, it can be a significant help in dealing with your mild depression.
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If you want to apologize to someone, you need to know and speak their language of apology if you want them to accept it.
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Even when raised in a good family, your marriage will still undergo some struggles due to the adjustment that have to be made in a young marriage.
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Those who grow up with low self-esteem often find it difficult to apologize. They view apologizing as a sign of weakness. In reality, apologizing enhances one's self-esteem.
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It's not necessary for you to marry someone who has the same love language you do. After all, opposites attract!
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Can you begin preparing for marriage, even as a teenager? Yes! Start by reading the book, "A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages". It'll help you mature in all of your relationships, not just your future marital relationship.
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Sadly, there are some people who never apologize for anything. When we refuse to take responsibility for our negative words and behavior, we build a barrier between our self and the person we hurt. Humbling yourself and apologizing will go a long way.
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Is there hope for struggling couples? Absolutely. The first step is admitting that there's a problem. Then reach out and find good counseling.
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Why is apologizing so hard? We often wait for the other person to apologize first, especially if you think they precipitated the conflict. But is it worth it? The waiting game will only stall the growth in your relationship.
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How can you discover your wife's love language? First step would be to take the 5 Love Languages quiz. The second would be to observe what she complains most about. The complaints will tell you what her love language is or isn't.
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What do you do when your spouse walks away from the Faith? The Scriptures say a Christian shouldn't leave an unbelieving spouse. Rather, you should seek to demonstrate to them the power of Christ through your love.
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What might be the reason for your spouse's rejection of your hug? Two options: Physical Touch is not their love language, or they may me harboring resentment toward you due to past hurts. Hurts don't go away with just a hug; but it might go away with a genuine apology.
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It's vital that you look for help when your relationship is in trouble. So many couples are on the verge of divorce without every seeking counseling. Good Christian counselors are all over the country. Take advantage of that!
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If your wife doesn't feel loved because you don't touch her, it's obvious her love language is physical touch. If that's uncomfortable for you, start expressing your love through touch in incremental steps that make her feel loved.
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Do the love languages apply to people who marry later in life? Absolutely. People's primary love language never changes. Speaking their love language will be meaningful to them, regardless of their age.
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What if your spouse always points out your faults but never admits to making mistakes themselves? If your spouse is pointing their finger at you, express to them how that makes you feel. This gives them the opportunity to change their approach.
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Have you hugged your child or spouse today? This is very important if it's their primary love language. But if you're uncomfortable touching them, make the effort to ask them which type of touch is most meaningful to them.
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How can you learn good marriage and family skills if they weren't modeled for you while growing up? Whether or not these skills were modeled for you, they can also be learned. Dr. Gary Chapman's books are an excellent resource.
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Physical Touch is one of the 5 Love Languages. For some people, it's their primary love language. If you want them to feel loved, give them a hug or some other appropriate way to touch. This is effective for both adults and children.
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How do you express your love to your wife while deployed, especially if her love language is Acts of Service? It's very difficult; but you can ask her how you could serve her without having to be physically present.
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If your fiancé and his friends a planning a bachelor party before your wedding, should you be concerned? Most definitely. If he's prone to behaving in an inappropriate way before marriage, he's likely to do the same after marriage.
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Hugging is one of the ways the love language of physical touch can be expressed. It's interesting that every culture in the world has appropriate ways of expressing their love through physical touch.
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You may be loving your wife with a variety of acts of service. But you could kick it up a notch by asking her which act of service would be the most meaningful to her.
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Desires are usually expressed in terms of "I want; I wish; I hope or I would like". In a marriage relationship, it's healthy to express your desires as long as you aren't expressing them as demands.
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What does it mean if your boyfriend won't stick up for you. The fact that this hurts you may indicate that your love language is words of affirmation. When you're criticized, your expectation would be for him to speak up for you in your defense.
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Why won't my boyfriend move forward in our relationship, even though we speak the same love language? Could be a number of reasons why, but you can't push him. If you do, you might regret it after the wedding
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Marriage is meant to be an intimate relationship. That means sharing your inner thoughts and emotions with your spouse
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Couples who truly love each other might realize later on in their marriage that they could have expressed their love even more effectively if they had known each other's love language.
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Husbands and wives often see things differently. It's usually a difference in how we interpret a situation. If we interpret things negatively, remember that love always thinks the best of the other person.
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Expressing your love language of gift-giving may lead to overspending. Giving gifts doesn't always have to be expensive. Give something that means a lot to them. It's the thought that counts!
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Is you family pressuring you into getting married? Understand that they want you to be happy. Accept it, but explain to them that you want to be careful. Don't rush into a marriage until you're ready.
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An intimate relationship isn't always physical. It's also sharing the events of your day with your spouse. Tell them about your day by describing what you experienced using your five senses.
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Are you dating someone who's bringing a lot of extra baggage into your relationship? Dr. Gary Chapman warns that you can't just brush it under the rug. If it's troublesome to you now, it will be a major problem later.
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Who do you think you are? Scripture tells us we're made in the image of God. Because God loves you, you have a special place in His family!
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Why isn't there physical intimacy in your marriage any more? Most likely because you haven't been speaking each other's love language.
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Doesn't it makes sense to "try things out" before committing to marriage? It sounds logical; but in reality, there are countless studies showing that couples who live together before marriage are less likely to stay married.
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What kind of financial legacy are you leaving your children? Have you spent a lifetime acquiring things, or have you prepared to leave an inheritance for your children?
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When you're dating someone, it's possible to be blind to warning signs. Your friends and family can see things that you can't see when you're emotionally in love.
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The most fundamental need of children is to feel loved. But other significant emotional needs they have are for security, self-worth, significance, accomplishment and being accepted. When these needs are met, children will grow up to be healthy adults.
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When teens dismiss what their parents say, it can often be considered a phase in their development. During your children's teen years, do more listening than talking.
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The Bible warns that the borrower is slave to the lender. Borrowing is not wrong unless you borrow with no means or intention to repay it.
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What kind of spiritual legacy are you leaving your children? Is it negative or positive? The spiritual legacy we leave depends on how closely our walk matches our talk.
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How do you deal with those who sin against you? Offenses are not to be overlooked. They are to be dealt with. Scripture teaches us to confront the offender with the goal of reconciliation.
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Raising your children with a strong Biblical sense of right and wrong is vital. The closer your behavior corresponds with your words, the more likely your moral legacy will be passed down to the next generation.
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Food is certainly not a love language; but buying or preparing food for your spouse can be an expression of your love through acts of service or gift-giving.
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How can you speak you girlfriend's love language of quality time while apart during college? Write her handwritten letters. She'll know you love her because of the time it takes to express your love in written form.
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Are you leaving your children a strong marital legacy? Your marriage should be one of love and faithfulness to each other "'till death do us part". It's likely that your example will carry on to the next generation.
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How do you go about finding a spouse? There's no single answer to that question. However, it's important to ask God if it's His plan for you to marry or not, then accept His answer.
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In talking with prisoners, Dr. Gary Chapman discovered that most of them didn't feel loved in their own love language during their formative years.
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How can you show love to your husband when you're suffering with depression during your pregnancy? Seek help from a good counselor AND your husband. It's time for him to step up to the plate!
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Are you too busy to speak each other's love language? It may be that you've lost sight of the most important thing - relationships.
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As a single, it's likely you feel left out by the church. If your church doesn't have a singles ministry, consider starting one yourself.
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Parents may sincerely love their child, but if you don't know or speak your child's love language, they may not feel loved.
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If you're single, it's important to know the 5 Love Languages. It'll go a long way in helping you to build positive, supportive relationships.
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Is your long-term relationship falling apart? It may be because one of you is trying to meet the other's emotional needs, but you feel like the other isn't meeting your needs.
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The choice of who you marry is totally up to you, but be sure that it's a wise choice. Make a choice that is in keeping with God's pattern for marriage.
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Raising a special needs child can be very challenging. It's extremely important that you and your spouse take care of yourselves first so you don't become physically and emotionally exhausted.
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If you and your spouse can't agree on a decision, the best course of action is to wait. While you're waiting, both of you should be praying for God's direction
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Understanding your child's love language will help you be more effective in meeting your child's emotional need for love.
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What should your response be to someone who challenges the Biblical definition of marriage? Don't be argumentative. Instead, simply state what the Bible says. Ultimately, their issue is with God and his Word.
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How can you avoid conflict with a spouse who's controlling? Have open and honest conversations with them and let them know how their behavior makes you feel. Counseling may be helpful.
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Most people never ask questions about a family's special needs child. Be the one to show an interest in that child. It'll be a great encouragement to the family.
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Most poor decisions in a marriage are made in isolation. Two are better than one. If you don't consult your spouse when making decisions, you'll be limited to your own wisdom.
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Special needs children have physical and emotional needs. Their greatest need is to feel loved. Discern their love language and speak it often!
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Should you tell your spouse that you have feelings for a coworker, even though you haven't crossed the line? It may not be wise, but understand that letting your feelings grow is very dangerous.
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Being unemployed can be a severe blow to your spouse's self-worth. Build them up by speaking their love language regularly.
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Raising a special-needs child can put a strain on your marriage relationship. During these difficult times, find time to express love to your spouse in their love language. It'lll go an long way in lightening the load.
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When was the last time you gave your spouse a gift? What was it? If you can't answer those questions, a gift is long overdue!
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Raising a special-needs child is very challenging. These challenges may stretch you to the limit. Look for someone who can come along side you to provide some respite.
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Does the same love language differ between a man and a woman? Each love language comes with its own dialects. Dig deeper into your spouse's love language to their specific dialect.
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What do you do when your souse says "I love you" but doesn't express it tangibly? Real love requires actions. Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages can be a tremendous help!
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Special needs children are a blessing from God. But raising them comes with its many challenges. This requires patience, energy and wisdom from God.
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The challenges of fulfilling your responsibilities and spending quality time with your spouse is a difficult balancing act. Difficult - yes; Impossible - no.
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Gift-giving is a powerful way to express love. Tune in to hear Dr. Gary Chapman's creative gift-giving ideas!
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How do you go about helping a friend who's going through marital struggles? First, be sure you're not trying to help the spouse of the opposite sex. Instead, listen to and pray for your friend.
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Your parent's divorce can cause you to question whether or not you should risk marriage. Remember, you're influence by your parents, but you're not controlled by your parents. Their failure doesn't have to be your failure.
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Want some gift ideas for your spouse whose Love Language is gift-giving? Try giving her a wide variety of gifts. In the process, you'll discover what type of gift fills her love tank the most.
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It's a given that your wife needs to feel physically safe, but her greatest security need is the assurance that you are committed to her.
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To a person who's Love Language is gift-giving, it doesn't really matter how much the gift costs. It's the thought that counts.
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You're an introvert and your spouse is an extravert. Can you both find a balance? Agree that each of you will make an attempt to stretch your comfort zones and find a balance between the two.
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You're separated and your husband is receiving counseling for anger issues. Should you try to stay in contact with him? Dr. Gary Chapman recommends that you spend your time praying for him and allowing God to do His transformative work.
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Anthropologists have discovered that gift-giving is a part of the love/marriage fabric in every culture of the world.
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Many husbands don't understand the needs of their wives. If he thinks that being the monetary provider for the family will meet her needs, he'll fail to meet her emotional and social needs.
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Choosing to reconcile with your unfaithful spouse doesn't mean the hurt goes away, but it means you've made a conscious choice to love and forgive.
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Even though everyone has a primary Love Language, it's to your advantage to possess a portion of all 5 Love Languages. As a result, you'll probably always feel like your love tank is full!
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The original 5 Love Languages book was designed for both men and women. But men need more help in this area. That's why Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a 5 Love Languages book geared just for men.
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If two people are talking at the same time, no one is listening. This guarantees that communication won't take place. Meaningful communication requires talking and listening.
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It's extremely important that a husband learns the nuances of his wife. The best way to achieve that is by asking questions.
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Do you now how to apologize? It depends on what the other person's Apology Language is. It's vital that you discover what their Language of Apology is if there's to be forgiveness.
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Is there an appropriate age difference in a marriage? It depends. The age gap in your earlier years is much more problematic than when you marry at an older age.
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Since we're not God, are we able to love the unlovely as Jesus loves the unlovely? Yes, because the love of God is poured out on our hearts by the Holy Spirit.
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The two essential ingredients in healing a broken relationship is apologizing and forgiving.
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Husbands should focus on their wives as Christ focuses on His church.
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When your wife apologizes for committing adultery, it's the crucial first step in being able to forgive her.
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Your boyfriend won't take the Love Language quiz. What does that mean? It's a red flag that says he's not willing to invest in your relationship.
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Your spouse can't forgive you for years of hurting them. What can you do? Understand that you can't make them forgive you; but you can sincerely apologize and communicate your desire to be forgiven because you want to have a good life with them in the future.
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How can you apologize in a way that helps your spouse to forgive you? Dr. Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Languages of Apology will provide insights into what your spouse's Apology Language is. You must speak their language if there is to be forgiveness.
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A leader who is leading his wife like Christ leads the Church will lead through servanthood.
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When you apologize to your spouse, they may not think your apology is sincere. Maybe they haven't forgiven you because you didn't apologize to them in their Apology Language.
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How can you fulfill your spouse's love language of Gift Giving every day? You may not be able to give them gifts every day; but small meaningful gifts will let your spouse know you're thinking of them.
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My husband has anger issues but hides it well. How can I understand this? Mismanaged anger isn't going to go away with the passing of time. Dr. Gary Chapman encourages you to read his book, Anger, Taming a Powerful Emotion.
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Your husband may express his love for you in a clumsy fashion; but over time, he may learn to speak your love language more skillfully.
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What should the headship of the husband in a marriage look like. Jesus modeled love through servanthood.
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If your spouse treats you like a doormat, they're treating you like an object. That treatment precludes the possibility for love.
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It's unclear when the love languages are formed. Is it nature or nurture? Regardless of which one it is, a child's love language can be determined by the time they're 3 or 4 years of age by observing their behavior.
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If your fiancee can't be counted on to take care of the small things, how can you trust him with the more important things? If he can't grow in how he handles responsibility before marriage, he probably won't grow in it after marriage.
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When your spouse criticizes you, it's time to listen. They may be telling you what their love language needs are. The way you respond may help your spouse learn to make requests, not demands.
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God wants to use the husband to minister to the needs of his wife.
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If your love language is Acts of Service, your spouse might demand that you perform acts of service. True love doesn't makes demands.
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If your boyfriend claims his love language is sex and is pressuring you to have sex before marriage, what do you do? Dr. Gary Chapman says that behavior should be a huge red flag if he doesn't respect your desire to wait.
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Can you change your love language to accommodate your spouse? You can't change your love language, but you can learn to appreciate the other love languages, including your spouse's.
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Before marriage, you're carried along with the feelings of love. But after marriage, you often revert back to the way you were before you fell in love.
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Pastors, what is your primary priority? Your congregation or your family? The most fundamental area of service is in the home.
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You might view your marriage as just a contract with your spouse. What does the Bible have to say about marriage? The Bible views marriage as a covenant.
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You suspect your spouse of cheating. How do you confront them? Don't accuse them. Rather, be honest and let them know that you suspect unfaithfulness.
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You're feeling resentment, anger and hopelessness in your marriage. So do you just quit trying? Dr. Chapman recommends that couples in this predicament should read his book, Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away.
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Reconciliation in a marriage is fostered by love. It's not the emotion of love but rather the attitude of love that will draw each other together.
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Adult children often make poor choices that drive them to return home. Their choices are what lead to their problems. So don't blame yourself.
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You prayed, but your spouse left you anyway. Is it God's fault that your marriage failed? God didn't make your spouse leave. He allowed him to make decisions, decisions that resulted in your failed marriage.
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Is social drinking wrong? If you drink, drink in moderation. Follow your conscience and the leading of the Holy Spirit.
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Are anxiety issues a spiritual issue? Not always. Proper medications can also alleviate anxiety.
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Leaving your spouse reveals the deep pain in your marriage. Pain often leads to prayer; but how do you pray? Allow the Holy Spirit to convict you and your spouse.
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Couples in the later years of their marriage should look at their differences and learn to accept those differences.
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Is divorce inevitable when a couple separates? Reconciliation is possible if given the proper guidance.
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How can you learn your husband's love language? If he's willing, encourage him to go to the https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes website and take the quiz.
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How do you know when you've met the right person? Pray for wisdom and discernment. Consider reading Dr. Gary Chapman's book titled Things I wish I'd known before we got married.
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God is angered by the world's evil deeds. Because we are made in His image, we, too, should be angry with what is evil. Righteous anger reflects our concern with what is right and wrong, and that's a good thing.
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The joys in the later years of your marriage can be just as fresh as the early years. Approach life with a sense of adventure!
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Why do we express anger toward each? It's because anger is a manifestation that we feel we've been wronged. Our sense of justice comes from the moral law that God has implanted in us.
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What if you're a talker but your husband isn't? See if he's willing to read a book on marriage with you, then ask him what his thoughts are. In that instance, it may help him to express his thoughts verbally.
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Events that you consider to be unfair, unkind, unjust or unloving can easily lead to an outburst of anger. Our anger can often come from a distorted view of the offense.
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How do you overcome communication barriers? One approach would be to find a good book that deals with these barriers, and encourage your spouse to read it with you. Then discuss what each of you have learned.
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Anger involves every part of who you are - your body, mind, emotions and the will. An unpleasant event has the potential to stimulate anger in every part of our being.
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How can you discover your spouse's love language? Familiarize yourself with the 5 love languages, then look at their behavior to see which expression of love becomes most prominent.
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Forgiving your spouse is one thing, but forgetting is another thing entirely. Forgiveness is the choice to lift the penalty of the offense. Though the memories linger, God will affirm your choice to forgive.
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Mismanaged anger is one of the most destructive problems in a marriage.
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The best approach to overcoming barriers in communication is to talk less and listen more.
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A workaholic often works long hours to avoid judgmental confrontations from their spouse.
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Which is most effective - discussing your love language with your spouse or acting it out? Dr. Gary Chapman says "Discuss"!
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An alcoholic spouse often tries to hide their addiction, which leads to distrust. Lovingly confront them about their addiction, and let them know you won't accept their behavior. Trust can't be regained without addressing the problem.
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Lack of affirmation from your parents when you're growing up could be a contributing factor in you becoming a workaholic. It might be your way of trying to receive affirmation from someone - in this case, your boss.
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If your husband doesn't communicate with you as much as you'd like, talk to him about things that interests him the most. This may open up opportunities for him to begin talking about things that are important to you.
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A workaholic spouse may receive accolades at work but not at home. Resentment may arise because their investment in work supersedes their commitment in the home.
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Your spouse loves you, but you don't feel loved. It may be that your husband is expressing his love for you in his own love language.
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Is there a way to wake up your spouse to the need for placing their priority on your marriage instead of on their work?
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Parents face challenges when raising their children in a screen-driven world. Your child's social skills suffer the most.
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How do you live with a workaholic spouse? It's a real challenge when the only contribution a workaholic spouse makes is financial.
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What if your spouse becomes involved with another person while on a business trip? Is it possible to restore your relationship and regain trust?
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What if your love language while dating seems different after you're married? Your love language doesn't change, but seasons in your marriage might mute your love language for a time.
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When your adult child returns home, it's essential that you and your child work out an agreement regarding: a time limit on their length of stay, financial goals, and respect for each other's privacy.
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Here's the ABC test for discerning the effects of screen time on your child. What do you observe in their Attitude, Behavior and Character?
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There may be some challenges to having your adult children living at home, but the benefits are there as well.
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Taking Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages quiz is a great springboard to learning your own love language and that of your spouse.
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How can you express love to your husband in his love language of quality time when his schedule won't allow it? Well actually, that's up to him. If he wants to feel loved in his love language, he must open up more time in his schedule.
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There are two types of children that return home - planners and strugglers. Planners return home to prepare for independent living. Strugglers come home out of necessity because they can't learn to deal with the challenges of life.
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What social skills are you trying to develop in your children? Teaching them how to express love in each of the 5 love languages will give them the social skills necessary to thrive in relationships.
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In today's world, it's more and more likely that your children will continue to live in your home after leaving college. Open and honest communication now will prevent problems later.
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Will your marriage fall apart if your spouse makes no effort to get to know your love language? Potentially eyes, but it's worth inviting your spouse to read the book The 5 Love Languages together.
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In a dating relationship, how can you show physical affection without it getting out of control? It's essential that you set clear guidelines of what you can do and what you must never do, then develop your relationship within those boundaries.
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Why can intimacy evaporate in a marriage? The answer is as old as the garden of Eden - sin. Sin separates. Confession and forgiveness must take place for intimacy to return.
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What are your children watching? Everything they watch should be in line with your family values. Remember, you are the gatekeeper of your child's mind.
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Intimacy blossoms during courtship. It all begins when there's a physical and emotional attraction. But when intimacy is fully developed, it manifests itself in how transparent we are with each other.
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Is it possible to change your love language? Dr. Gary Chapman says everyone has a primary love language; but it can appear that we have changed our love language when, in reality, we've simply mastered the art of speaking other people's love language.
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How do you start off your marriage right while living with your in-laws? It's important to discuss and set up clear guidelines and expectations so that neither party runs into conflict with the other.
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There is an age old desire for intimacy between a husband and wife. Their similarities and differences are the raw materials to build intimacy.
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The word intimacy means "inner". So intimacy in a relationship involves two people opening up their inner selves to each other emotionally, intellectually, socially, physically and spiritually.
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Showing love in a long-distance relationship is a challenge that's most commonly experienced by military couples. It requires great creativity to express love without being together. Try it!
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How do you express love to a panhandler in their love language? As you talk with them, look for hints that might reveal what their love language is, and engage them in that way. They may better understand God's love for them.
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A married couple's desire for intimacy can often lead to warfare. It's not uncommon for each spouse to have radically different expectations for achieving intimacy. The first step towards intimacy is not condemning your spouse for not meeting your needs.
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Does technology bring your family closer together or farther apart? Screen time that is not purposeful is a waste of time and has a negative influence on the family.
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Decision-making is not a power game. Each decision made in a marriage is an opportunity to express love. Each should ask themselves the question: what is best for my spouse?
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If your husband is addicted to pornography, don't accept it as normal behavior. Get Biblical marriage counseling that addresses the addiction.
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As head of the family, it's the husband's responsibility to create a climate where his wife knows that he values her as an equal partner.
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Arguments in a marriage is a major barrier to a relationship. Sweeping arguments under the rug is no way to resolve conflict.
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What does a husband's headship mean when it comes to decision-making? Scripture teaches that God the Father is the head of God the Son, but his headship wasn't exercised independently of the Son because the Father and the Son are one. The same should be true of decisions made in a marriage.
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Are you divorce in God's eyes if you've divorced your spouse but are still living together? Listen in to hear Dr. Gary Chapman's insightful response.
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How do you ask your spouse to show their love for you in your love language? It may feel self-serving to ask, but it's really for the good of the relationship.
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The first building block in a marriage is love. The second is communication, where each spouse is intentional about talking and listening to each other.
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The most common barrier to communication is the inability to solve conflicts. Put your energy into solving the problem instead of trying to win the argument.
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What if a newlywed couple ceases to communicate? This often manifests itself in decision-making. The most fundamental building block in a relationship is love - making decisions that are best for both of you.
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It's not uncommon to come off the high of the in-love experience. That's because love is not a feeling. It requires intentionality in communicating love to your partner in their love language.
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How do you express your love while your spouse is deployed? Find creative ways to let them know you're thinking about them.
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How do you have quality conversation with your spouse? Maintain eye contact; Give them your undivided attention; Listen for feelings; Refuse to interrupt.
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What is the difference between recognition and appreciation? Recognizing someone for their accomplishments doesn't necessarily mean they will feel appreciated.
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The love language of Quality Time can have many different dialects. One of those dialects might be quality conversation and listening intently to what your spouse is really saying.
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What do you do when you speak to others in their love language, but no one speaks yours? Take the time to tell your friends what your love language is.
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What do you do when your boyfriend knows your love language but doesn't want to put in the effort to speak it? Recognize that this should be a red flag to you, and you may need to reconsider your relationship.
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Quality Time is best expressed by carving out time to give focused attention to your spouse.
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We spend so much of our time at work. Why not build good relationships with your coworkers, beginning with expressing appreciation to them.
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Spending quality time with your spouse is a powerful emotional communicator of love.
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You want to get married but you haven't met anyone yet. The most important thing is to commit your life to God before any other relationship. In some cases, it may be God's will that you never get married. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learn how to teach your fiancee about your love language, even though you never received words of affirmation growing up. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
My husband is a good provider, but he won't spend time with me. The fact that this distresses you is evidence that Quality Time is your love language. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Have you ever verbally affirmed a coworker? Is so, did they respond positively? It may be a sign that Words of Affirmation is their love language. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
If your spouse confesses and repents of his past failures, God's word says you must stand ready to forgive and receive him back. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Your fiancee has revealed dark issues in his past. Should you continue the relationship? Dr. Gary Chapman says it's important to talk about it and take steps to deal with it before marriage. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You may be communicating to your spouse in your love language, but you're not speaking to them in their love language. Find out what your spouse's love language is and begin to speak to them in their language. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
No one person is totally to blame for a failed marriage. But the best way to begin the restoration process is to admit your own shortcomings and ask for forgiveness. It may not heal your marriage, but it will at least give you a clear conscience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Learning the principles found in the book The 5 Love Languages in the Work Place may be the key to a better corporate environment and greater employee satisfaction. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Are you good at listing all your spouse's faults? Have you considered listing your own? Your list may be longer than you think. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
You can't make someone stay in a relationship, but you can at least ask them to tell you exactly why they want to give up. Understanding this may open the door to better communication and renewed commitment. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
A desire to restore your marriage is a healthy desire; but if your spouse is determined to follow through with the divorce, it's time to acquiesce and move on. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Casting blame on the other person may seem reasonable, but it's not Biblical. Jesus said that if someone has wronged you, it is up to you to reach out to them and attempt to bring reconciliation. Removing the log out of your own eye might be a great place to start! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We may think we're expressing appreciation to our employees, but we may be missing the mark if we don't know each individual's love language. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Gary Chapman says reconciliation isn't possible if neither person is willing talk. But it only takes one person to break the silence and open up the possibility for healing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
My husband has never shown me affection. What can I do? Begin by giving him a copy of The 5 Love Languages, and ask him to share his impressions. It may open up a whole new world of understanding for him as it relates to your marriage. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What are the telling signs that your spouse is having an affair? A noticeable change in behavior can be one sign, but don't assume the worst. Stress can also manifest itself by a noticeable change in behavior. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Believing that your marriage situation is hopeless can often lead to depression or even suicide. It's vital that we understand that God is a God of Hope. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Dr. Gary Chapman developed the 5 Love Languages, but they don't only apply to a marriage. They also apply to relationships in the workplace. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
It's a myth that you only have two options in a bad marriage - be miserable for life, or get out. There's always something positive you can do to improve your marriage. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Past sexual and physical abuse can cause confusion, especially as it relates to your love language. The first step in healing is to search out a Godly counselor. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
How do you go about sharing biblical marriage principles with your unsaved friends? A great starting place would be to recommend several of Dr. Gary Chapman's books on marriage. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Is it true that people can't change? No. History is replete with examples of people who changed dramatically for the better. So don't give up on yourself or your spouse. Change is possible! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.