with Lisa Lapides Sawicki, Certified Life Coach

What do you think of when you hear of a “conflict” between two people? Do you automatically roll your eyes or feel your stomach clench with anxiety? Or, is your first impulse to try and “smooth things over” and diffuse the conflict before things escalate any further? While that might give the parties a chance to cool off, it doesn’t resolve the underlying issue. Having a disagreement with someone doesn’t have to lead to a conflict and on occasion, a conversation about a difference of opinion can prove beneficial. Sometimes conflicts actually identify hidden issues and bring to light disagreements that can ultimately strengthen relationships or bring about creative solutions that move a project forward, allowing both parties to feel as though progress has been achieved. But how you approach the other person and address that conflict can make all the difference. If you want to learn more about how to successfully resolve conflicts and hear tips for strategies on having conversations that can produce solutions and promote a win-win feeling for both parties, you’ll want to listen to my interview with Certified Life Coach, Lisa Lapides Sawicki.

What You’ll Hear on This Episode:

• What are the various types of conflict?
• Why there are just some people that you can’t resolve conflict with.
• How healthy conflict and resolution can be good.
• What are some common reasons that people have disagreements?
• Why family conflict tends to be harder to resolve.
• When do you need outside help to resolve your conflict?
• Where can someone go to find a professional to help them resolve their conflict?
• What is meant by the term “conflict resolution”?
• Why should we focus on the issue at hand, rather than the words?
• What should you do if the other person keeps pointing the finger at you?
• Why is writing things down on a legal pad or whiteboard much better than just keeping it in conversation?
• The importance of empathy in resolving conflict.
• What are some great strategies for handling conflict in the workplace?

Today’s Takeaway:

When we’re living or working with others, we bring our own unique vision and experience to a situation. But if our approach differs on how we accomplish something or what needs to happen, it may inevitably lead to disagreements or conflicts. That’s especially true when communicating with others if we express our needs, wants, or desires without regard for what the other person is thinking or feeling. That single-minded, narrow focus is often the cause of many disagreements that can lead to conflict. While it’s important to communicate our own feelings and needs in a calm and forthright manner, it’s equally important that we actively listen to those around us to understand their point of view. If the goal is to resolve the conflict in a way that serves the needs of both parties, focus on the actual issues and try to come up with a compromise rather than escalating the conflict itself by assigning blame and allowing our emotions to get in the way. Remember that every day is a gift and the gift we get from learning to listen and pay attention to the needs and feelings of those around us even when we disagree, could lead to fewer misunderstandings and help us identify and resolve the issues that divide us. I’m Florine Mark and that’s “Today’s Takeaway.”

Quotes:

• “Conflict happens when two people or more disagree, and it escalates and becomes kind of an elephant in the room, or something that there’s disappointment or has to be negotiated or compromised.” — Lisa [2:12]
• “Every issue is not worth being processed. So you have to really understand and clarify what’s worth confrontation, what’s worth resolving.” — Lisa [2:42]
• “Conflict resolution with family members is really a high-level communication.” — Lisa [8:26]
• “In a conflict, there can be two unreasonable people, and you need outside help.” — Lisa [9:01]
• “You have to be really great with human nature to get to resolve. It’s not black and white.” — Lisa [11:51]
• “When we focus on the facts, we start to be able to dissect cleanly and fairly and objectively what’s really happening.” — Lisa [14:37]
• “The words get in the way. So we have to go down to facts, to start to really resolve the problem at hand, and to negotiate and collaborate and come to some kind of compromise and understanding.” — Lisa [15:15]
• “Empathy is hugely important to be somebody who can effectively have conflict resolution.” — Lisa [17:14]
• “We always have to negotiate in little ways, and big ways.” —Lisa [26:32]

Brought to You By:

Gardner White Furniture

Mentioned in This Episode:

Lisa Lapides Sawicki

Family Conflict Factsheet

Strong Tips for Healthy Family Management