Series: Be'erot, Love & Relationship with God.

Episode Transcript:

Today is the yartzeit of the Alter Rebbe, the first Rebbe of Chabad, and being that he is someone I am very attached to, I want to share with you some of his writing in the contexts of what we've been learning-- which is a process of how G-d has filled out the elements of love of Him in the world through particular personalities, and viewing them through a transpersonal perspective, and seeing how the principles of love of G-d have become revealed and manifest in the world through the great teachers of it and the different aspects of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov (who then becomes Yisrael) and very particular attention we paid to the nature of the relationships of Yaakov to Rachel and Yisrael to Leah…

And last time we were in exploration in the particular way in which Leah has come to her own and became the mother of the malchut, of Yehudah, who in a process in which he became very aware of her particular and special gift, and how she knew, and named her subsequent children accordingly, she knew to take that to the right place, by virtue of both giving up on the insistance of it being for her, which became revealed through the way she…became very aware of it not being about her-- we didn't explore this much but she actually learned that from Rachel, perhaps we can go back to that … this principle of resignation, but not in the negative sense of it, but rather through the realization that it's not about her, and her revelation of her particular gift that is hers, is meant to come into the world dafka sometimes by letting go. And that kind of letting go is something which then achieved for her and accessed for her a different level of malchut, which is the ability to apply herself, or the machut's ability to apply herself in the world in any of the myriad and infinite circumstances and inerconnections and inter-relationships that come up by virtue of what happens.

I'll tell you what I mean in simple terms. A person who's discovered their special gift and then becomes closed in by it, and that can happen--it's all about me--the expression of it through me, everything then becomes servant for me, and the manifestation of what is me? all becomes quite disgusting, when people get there and they turn into these monstrous controllers of circumstances, of people, of realities in order that the me that they have discovered be able to become fully realized and fully manifest. These people strut around the world as if they are owners of the planet and controllers of other people, and really put themselves into reality from a position of it's what I have achieved, what I am meant to achieve, what I know my reality to be, and everything is here to serve it. That kind of a personal reality is extremely stagnated, domineering, and the opposite of what malchut is meant to be.

Because the reality that Leah births, through Yissaschar, is entirely different, it's the reality of knowing my special gift, and that gift is in full participation with the entire planet, and the circumstances and realities that I come across and face at every moment are there, not for me to control so that they can fit into some preconceived notion of what they have to be and what I've decided that I am and what will serve me, but it's the opposite. It's total surprise. Life is always taking you for a surprise. The things that come up and happen are not meant for you to control at all, but rather they are meant for you to be drawing from in order that the realization and the fullness of what your special reality is be able to come to expression in the fullest way. Sometimes even without it coming to realization without it being through you specifically.

And this is so crucial to know, as we saw that one of the great teachers of this is Hillel the Zakeyn, who is the same man who teaches us that the clal gadol b'Torah--that the great principal of the Torah--v'ahavta l'reecha c'mocha--is that you shall love your fellow as yourself.

And Hillel Hazakeyn is standing in the Beit HaMikdash in full joy at the Simchat Beit Shoevah… and he's saying the most spiritually horrifying thing --or one would take it that way if they had the wrong perspective and that is I'm ani kan hakol kan, if I am here, than everything is here. But what does that mean? If I am here everything is here sounds like it could mean, if I am here, nothing else matters. The only thing I care about is me and I'm here. So, everything is here. That would be a way to read Hillel's statement. But knowing that Hillel the Zakeyn is the man of v'ahavta l're'echa c'mocha, actually to listen to him carefully will give the opposite voice. Not that I am here and everything is here doesn't mean that I am here and nothing else matters, because if I'm here than everything that needs to be here is here, but the opposite. If I'm really here, I am present, then everything is here. Because when there is the person who is fully present to the reality of who they really are, and their ani, their selfhood, is clear, pronounced and expressed and joyous--we'll see how crucial that element of being joyous is--then that whole reality sings along with you, because it's all here with you at that moment and this is built upon a principal that we'll be B"H learning about today which is has to do with interconnectivity which is crucial for us to see.

So that I want to point out the root of that comes with Leah in her giving up, and Hillel indeed was one of the nasim of the Jewish people, a descendant of David HaMelech, so it's important to take a greater look at him as we look into greater clarity as to what David HaMelech is about and what the malchut is about. Because that's really what we've been working on ever since we've been exploring Leah, especially through hodaya, her realization of joyous thankfulness that she brought to the world on the birth of yehudah, who is, of course, the malchut. Yehudah comes with these two other children, because in the machaneh, in the midbar, Yehudah who stands on the east side, which is our forward in our four directions, Yehudah has to his right, Yissaschar, and he has to his left, Zevulun. And these are the elements that make right malchut. It's not like Yissaschar and Zevulun belong to some other camp. They exactly belong with malchut.

So when you go back to Hillel dancing there in the Beit HaMikash, in the joyous Simchat Beit Shoevah, and he's the child of David HaMelech, so we're going to see some very profound things that have to do with the elements of Yehudah and the elements of malchut especially as they relate to love, because it's Hillel HaZakeyn, and it's v'ahavta l'reacha c'mcocha, so when he says, ani kan v'kol kan, I believe he's coming from the realization of selfhood that knows that there is no way that anything in the world could be left out of the full realization of my selfhood, and the reason for that is very clear, because the entire world exists by virtue of the interconnectivity of all of its elements. You cannot ever exist as some independent, atomic particle which is not in relation to everything else.

Now they talk about in physics about the butterfly effect, or the chaos principles or all kinds of aspects of reality which now even as I'm moving my hand here better be careful, because I might be setting off some kind of tycoon ("typhoon" --DG) in Malaysia or something and that's the truth, the incredible interconnectness of things means that but it also means that there's nothing in reality that's really irrelevant with the nature of who you really are if you're in tune with who you are. If you're missing it, so then your environment is smaller and smaller, but if you're really fully expressing what the world is meant to be expressing through you, well, the world is really meant to be expressing it through you and you're not alone. That’s one of the most beautiful realizations, is that you're never alone, when you're alone, when you're really alone because when you're really alone, meaning, when you become really unique, and really purposeful, really on target, on the mark, this was the deep teaching about Yaakov being left alone.

The lvado of Yaakov, where G-d was willing to say, or he was willing to say, ani eloka batachtonim, which Rashi told us, and according to the Ramban, that the Shechinah lives in Eretz Yisrael. Meaning that the Shechinah lives in the place which, by its nature, is connected to the entire planet because it is the place that the entire planet began from. It is the place in that first relationship with G-d, and so, when he is fully realized into that, then he is touching everything. The Malchut expresses that from the vantage point of me. Very aware of himself being there, im ani kan hakol kan, it can't be that there'd be anything that's left out of this great moment of me being here in full joy. Again, as we'll see the element of joy is crucial. I believe of that aspect of the malchut of I'm connected to all and it's not about me, comes as born through Leah's resignation and giving up, coming through her body and sending in a shifcha, which we saw, she declares, it's true Yaakov that I hired you, sachor scharitcha for the dudaim, but I want to tell you something, this child who is called Yisasschar, was born not because I bought you, but because I dafka gave you up as the one who would sleep with me in this personal and specific embodied manifestation. I gave you up for the higher purpose in which we're both joined together, which is bringing in the shvatim, bringing these children into the world, aym ha banim smaycha, joyous even in the sense, when the child comes through some other body, joyous in that. She's attached to that, that's her true and deep attachments, as the mother of the children.

And so in giving up Yaakov, ironically, she buys him to sleep with him that night, but in buying him, she achieves the sachar, the reward, which is is only achievable for those who are willing to give it up for their particular and specific manifestation. And that rewrad is the reward of a child who will then become the paradigm for a Talmid chacham.

You see, Yissachar, the pasuk in Divrei Yamim says, that benei Yissachar, (14:44) yodeh binah l'iteem. The children of Yissachar are the ones who know binah in its timeliness. They know exactly what's to come in time. They were big talmidei chachmim. And the specific aspect they had was yodei binah, which is, of course, Leah, the aym habanim smecha. The power to creatively and joyously bring new realities into the world, l'iti, according to the right time. And this is so crucial. That's a specific pasuk in Divrei Ha yamim. I don't have the perek, I'm sorry. In Chronicles. They were big as rashei sanhedrin, there were two hundred of them, from that tribe, that tribe was big. And the specific aspect of Talmid Chachamim that they had was yadei binah, which is of course Leah, the aym ha banim smechah, the power to creatively and joyously bring new realities into the world, l'itim. at the right time. Because a real talmid chacham will always speak the voice of the present. They are the only ones who can really poskin halachah and teach Torah. They're the ones who know what the times, so to speak, call for. And that's because they have resigned their previous preceptions and preconceived notions and insistance on coming through me as I have formed myself and as I know myself to have become, and they are able to live with the openness to what reality is bringing, what this present moment in life is calling forth, and only those of that profound sense of the mutual nature of creative expression, meaning: it's not me and my teaching, nor is it a reality that is solidified and become standardized and set, but there is something that is born between the contact of the two of us, which is a mutual creation by virtue of the interrelationship between us. That's true Torah she b'al eh, which is not one or the other; it's the most beautiful relationship between G-d's revealed word and the meaning of the time and the moment and the particular personhood of the talmid chacham who speaking it.

That's what it is, Like it or not. You won't like it if what you're looking for is the set-in-stone absolute truths. You won't like it if you're afraid of changes in dynamic which means that it's not absolute. But you'll love it if what you're in love with is relationship. Because that means it's always being made anew and fresh at every moment. So the people who become the greatest talmidei chachmim are the ones who are descended from Leah's being resigned about it being from her particular body. And then that sachar comes, being first and foremost the great teachers of Torah, but the truth is, more deeply, being the very possibility of being sachar and reward. In the true spiritual sense, where I'm not getting the reward for this particular form that I'm formed in but I'm participating in divine reward, which means it's beyond the particular boundaries of myself.

Here's something from a student of the Admor HaZakeyn's son. The great pleasure of sachar, of reward, when it comes to the physical life, so the more body-bound you become, and the more particular that you become, so the more pleasure there is in the reward. But when it comes to spiritual rewards it's exactly the opposite. The less you are attached to and insisting upon your own particular boundaries, so the more you can experience the joy and the pleasure of G-d's presence, and it's ironic, because He wants you in your specificity. But He only wants us in our specificity, inasmuch as we recognize that it's not about us. That we are giving it up to He who is greater than us, then the pleasure is very great. That's the yesh sachar, Yissaschar, and it comes down again into how these people interact with reality.

Here's a story about someone named Shimon Hamsuni. Had a chop--he realized something. What he realized was that every time that it says et in the Torah, that it comes to include something else. Bereshit barah elokim, et hashamayim v'et ha'aretz. Must be coming to include something else, kol et she b'torah he darshaned, What does the et mean? He built up a whole insitute, he was there with talmidim, and they were darshaning every et in the Torah and they had this wild Guinness thing going, and they get to a pasuk--et Hashem elokecha, Tirah, you are to stand in fear of G-d, you are completely batel to G-d, which ultimately is an experience of that there is nothing else but G-d, completely abnegated before Him that is ultimate and complete and perfect fear. Not fear in the sense of being afraid, but in the sense of utter awe. So they get to the pasuk and they can't figure out what to do with that. Along with G-d, you should also fear what? You are going to compare something with G-d, especially when it comes to tirah, when you should be completely abnegated before G-d, now what do we do? So they get revved up, what are you going to do? Nobody's got anything, so he gets up in front of his tzibur, and he says, k'shem shkibalti schar al ha drishot, kach kibalti schar al hadrisha. (22:38) The way I received sachar for my darshaning all these, in the same way now, I receive sahcar from my absolving and my pulling back from darshaning. Meaning, okay, it didn't work out. It means, he's let go of the pre-conceived reality that he's built of what his life is about and what it's for. He's hit something now. Everything would have turned into a lie, if he can't darshan this one, like the whole thing is gone. Well, if it's about me getting my thing out into the world, then man, he's going to fight hard, but if it's about me and my devotion and love of G-d, and whatever He brings me is the reflection and the dynamic interraction that I'm meant to have now, that calls me forth, what is being called forth now, and what is always being called forth. It wasn't me and my mosdos, my institutions, me and my expressions, me and my word that I'm coming about, no, it wasn't about that. It was about me and my devotion to truth, to G-d, and so, the same sachar, that I got for all the great drashas that I made, I get for this. It's really the same thing.

So then the Gemara goes on and says, until Rebbe Akiva came along, and he said….et Hashem elokecha tira, lrabo talmidei chachamim. Et Hashem elokecha tira comes to include talmidei chachmim. Hey, where was Rebbe Akiva until now? How come he didn't speak up? You know what happened? When he saw Hamsuni, he saw it would be possible that there would be someone who lives the presence of G-d so much that it is a reality which is formed by the nature of the relationship that he has with G-d and the truths that now become revealed by the dynamic of his interaction with G-d's being, with G-d's teaching. It was like, Hamsuni became the revelation of the one who was, so to speak, godlike in his not being about his small self, but his being about the revelation of the truth of all. Not about my particular project. But if it's the truth that's meant to come through right now, like the et thing doesn't work, okay, that's a different kind of a personality, it's surrender to the greater being of G-d, Who continues to speak through me, but not necessarily in a way that I expected. Ah, that's Rabbi Akiva, that's a talmid chacham. That's a ben Yissachar.

I personally long for talmidei chachamim like that who are real in that. Because so much today is about… rebuilding what was, or holding on to the world we once knew… Yeshivas get named for European [towns?] that have long been destroyed as if somehow we're doing them a favor by continuing to do what they did. When the honest truth is, no one's really doing what they did anymore. Maybe they're not doing what they did, it's not even true, but somehow people think the comfort in their thinking that they do. But that comfort in thinking you're doing what they did, also stifles your ability to be l'itim, to be those who know the times and live them in a full connectivity to what is right now. It's as if those people--and excuse me for holding forth on this--,it's almost if they've given up on G-d, as if G-d stopped producing sometime, it's no longer the bechina of aym habanim smecha it's all about shorring up, holding on, lhitchazek, be strong, we'll make it through, okay, it's true, we have to be strong because there's a lot of lies in the world, but if all you are is being mitchazak, if all you are is being strong, you're going to miss all the truths too, which are meant to be born in this moment. Those are the true talmidei chachamim, those who so to speak resigned their bodies, and resigned their attempt to just be comfortable with and shorr up what they already know and what has already been.

See, I believe this is what is meant by a dirah batachtonim, making a dwelling place for G-d in the lower worlds. Everything that my great teacher, the Baal Hatanya teaches about how that's coming to know the unity in life and the unity of all that is, and seeing G-d's presence in all of reality and knowing that it's all Him. It's all true about dirah batachtonim, but there is another aspect of dirah batachtonim and that is that we're home together, so to speak. What I mean by that is, you can have two parents and have a great relationship between them, but there's something else, that is called the home. The home isn't one or the other person, and if you particle it out into all the different children and the two parents and the pet dog and the chairs and the tables and, if you particle it all out, so it's not a home, it's not a bayit. That's all the different pieces of a picture, but only when they've been joined together does the picture emerge. And the picture that emerges is a home. It is one of the best examples of what we mean when we talk about a malchut. It's a picture which is not the particular pieces, but it's a whole, and by virtue of the interconnectness between them produce something that is not the particluar specifics of the picture.

It's like looking at a picture. And in fact, one of the names for malchut in the Kabbalah is temunah, a picture. A picture is not a picture once you stop picking apart the different elements that are in it. It stops being a picture. Like, this chair, if I starting taking apart all the pieces of the chair, there wouldn't be any chair left. I'd still have all the parts of the chair are still here, right? Here they are on the floor, it's collapsed. But where did the chair go? It's all right there. Put it on the scale, you'll see it, it's got exactly the same weight it did when you were sitting on it. Where did the chair go? Well, we'll put it back together, you'll have the chiar again. What did you add? We didn't add anything at all. Nothing at all. Except one thing. Connectedness. Which now makes a picture.

That's the way Torah shb'al peh is also. Connectedness, which now makes a picture. It's not G-d's teaching or my teaching There's a consciousness of mine and of what G-d is teaching that have met at a particular moment of an everchanging reality and that's the bayit right now, that's the dirah batachtonim. He is mamash living here, He is the dirah batachtonim. How? With us. When we have the consciousness of the talmid chacham who, the Rabbis say, …who are the real kings? They have the talmidei chachamim, but in the true sense. About who those people are. That's because they are true beni chorim, truly liberated. Actually live a holy reality. That's what it means in Hebrew. Bnei chorim. Hor, that's whole, Beni chorin is liberated people. H-o-l-l-y, or however you spell it, I guess. H-o-l-e-y? (No, h-o-l-y) When you're full of holes too, the reason why the bnei chorin are holey, is because they are always seeing reality as an endless series of opportunities for the expression of what G-d has gifted them with. Always with the conception and the knowing that this is not about me expressing what I've been gifted with, but this is about bringing the realization of the planet to its fullness, which is the will of G-d, we're building this together, G-d, and we can really do that by being open to what the ate is, what is this particular time is right now. Those are the talmidei chachmim who come from the Yisasschar, the kings, that's the malchut, that's making a dirah batachtomin. That's why, by the way, the name Zevulun means, we've made a beit dirah, and that Leah's final gift, so to speak, to the children of Yaakov, and her final gift to the building of malchut, Zevulun, who will now stand on the left side of Yehudah in the camp. It's a bayit. It's a dirah batachtonim for you G-d . That's what my life is. That is full love. Because I'm not giving up a particular refraction that the selfhood that you've given me brings and (starting to speak with more passion) I'm certainly not giving you up. I'm knowing that it's You refracting through me. I'm knowing that what's happening right now and is going on right now is something which is really here, that it wouldn't be right to talk about me or You it's just what is in the fullness of that.

The most amazing thing is that the word makom, in the gematria of yud times yud and heh times heh and vav times vav and heh times heh equals the gematria of makom, of place. It's like when the two sides meet. The havaha in you and the havaha coming from G-d meet and form this place. That's the dirah batachtonim that G-d is longing for. And it can only come from a true unity consciousness. All the levels of the consciousness that we've been through from Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, can only come about by virtue of all of those elements being present within in, to allow you to be here in a way which is b'tikkun and not a violation of the knowing of His oneness. But rather about a realization of the one G-d where all of reality are participant in His being, ki v'yachol, (37:22) to manifestation.

So Leah says a most amazing thing when she calls Zevulun, Zevulun. She says, G-d has given me zeh vtov, he gave me a good chelek. So I'm going to call him Zevulun. Why didn't you call him Zvudun, besides the fact that it's hard to pronounce. It sounds like voodoo. The point is, her chelek is what she's grateful for. That's her hodaya. But now she's come through Yissaschar, so it produces a beit dirah, a home, a malchut.

(Question: What is malchut?) Kingdom. We're used to kingdom being a place where a king reigns, but there is a deepr aspect to kingdom which is that kingdom is when all of the different, disparate and separate parts are joined together into something which they make which is more than just themselves. So that all the parts of this chair when they are together, are a kingdom. It's an abstraction, right? When they are together, they are a kingdom. Like a personality, when it's like all over the place, is not, but when there is an organisation of the personality of, I'm pulling it all together, then the kingdom has arrived. So the beautiful thing is, there a kingdom called knesset yisrael, which is the kingdom of us with G-d in an embrace in which we become one. And that is what we've been talking about.

And that embrace is the very first embrace which is on top of the aron habrit. At the very beginning, if you remember, that is the source of Creation. The point on the planet which is where G-d began the creation from, the navel of the earth, which is the place of the kodesh kodashim. On that place are two keruvim, angels that are in an embrace in the Beit Hamikdash, in the Temple. Because the origin of it all is that (inaudible-41:10) in the embrace. But now what's happened, at the end of time, so to speak, or the end of the series, at David, or at the malchut, it's not so much about them being in the embrace, it's what the Baal HaTanya calls a kiss, they become the one breath. A oneness that's achieved by the breath of the two which now forms into a new word.

That's by the way, the word malchut divides in Hebrew into milat kaf vav. The word that has the numerical value of twenty-six, which is G-d's name, yud-key-vav-hey. Besides being beautiful, it's the very expression of what the malchut is. Because the malchut is the difference between a bunch of a letters and a word. Now go pick that word apart into its pieces. Put the alef over there and the gimel over there, and put the vav over there. What do you end up with? Not a word. It's a malchut when it's a word. The way in which G-d creates which is by forming the words which reality draws from, is in itself an expression of what the nature of reality is. Which is none of this can exist of its connection in relationship with everything else. That's why He creates with words. The word itself is an expression of what the nature of our connectivity is, that's the grounding of it. It's connectivity. It's all malchut. And when we speak G-d's word in our lives, in our deeds and thoughts, and especially in our deeds,.

So take a look here at this piece from the Tanya, chapter thirty-five. …I want to explain to you what G-d said in the Chumash that here, I've given you this Torah, which is very near you,… in your mouth and in your heart to do it. So he talks a lot in this book about in your mouth, and he talks about in your heart, but what's the doing it? I also want to tell you about something called , as he says, people who are beinoni. These are people who are in a constant struggle and fight and never fully achieve the overcoming of their other side, their yetzer harah, and they might think that they are living in a world that is empty of success, and they might even be despairing of achieving what it is they're going for, which is some kind of purity that their soul is yearning for, and everytime, every day it seems like they're starting again. Pick yourself up, get yourself happy, deal with it, and another yetzer, oh yeah, I blew it, I did it again, I spoke lashon harah, … what's going on? I thought I was beyond this. No, the beinoni is all the time being knocked back, knocked down, struggling, and he would have a sense that it's all… empty effort. So I want to tell you something, he says, … let this be their consolation… and give them great joy in G-d who is dwelling with them in their Torah and in their avodah. And it comes from a teaching in the Zohar. A wise man, his eyes are in his head. So the Zohar says, big deal? The stupid people have eyes in their feet? Of course the wise man has eyes in his head. Where are the eyes of a person? No, no, I'll tell you. I'm actually teaching you a pasuk. That it says, that a man, a human being, always has the Shechinah over his head, and a wise man keeps his eyes on the Shechinah. Because there is a flame which is burning over the head of each one of us, and it needs oil to keep burning. Your body, that's a wick. And the flame over your head, that's the Shechinah. And Shlomo the King said, … Don't ever run out of oil on your head, because the light on your head will go out if you don't continue to feed it oil . And what is the oil of the light on your head? Those are the good deeds you do on this earth. And so it says, the wise man keeps his eyes on his head. So I'll tell you what this means, he says. This is a parable. The parable is that the light is the Shechinah and it's compared to a candle light which can only continue to burn as long as it's burning out from the body of the wick that it's attached to. As soon as it would disconnect from the wick, it would go out. As soon as there would be no oil in the wick, it would burn it and become extinguished. So, too, the Shechinah can only dwell on the body of a person who is, of course, compared to the wick. And how? Only by feeding the flame through his ma'asim tovim, by his good acts. Dafka.

I want to tell you something. He says, it's not enough the meditation, which he says in his book. It's not enough that in his neshama that he knows that he's a part of G-d and he experiences that in his meditation. Because at the end of the day, as big a tzaddik as you might become, and as much as you might be serving G-d with love and awe which is the most pleasurable experience which a human being can possibly touch, nevertheless, you can never become completely batel in His reality to become completely at one and absorbed into the light of G-d mamash, to become at one and fully unified and in communion with Him, in a perfect and utter communion, because you always remain something. You are the one who is fearing and loving Him. Then who would be fearing and loving Him if you were completely at one with Him? That also would be an extinguishing of the Shechinah. Because the Shechinah is the reality which is formed by the virtue of the kiss that is between us and Him, the reality of our being together. …As opposed to a mitzvah or ma'asim tovim, the mitzvot and the good deeds, that are the accomplishment of His will. And His will, that's the source of life of all the worlds that are created.

Now all these worlds came about by virtue of G-d's having contracted His light, of his having hid His face, of this higher presence in infinite presence of Him so that they could be created, something from nothing, experiencing themselves as being different from Him by being rewarded a consciousness which blocks seeing Him and which allows you to see things as being separate entities, such that things would lose their reality and would be able to be extent as separate existences. So that's how we got to this world.

Now let me tell you something. This is so important: the depth of the connection to Him is deep when one does one little act, one little deed on this planet. Because then, in a meditative condition of full and complete communion with Him, you may be experiencing a pleasure of being in full and complete communion with Him, but you're not in full and complete communion with Him, because if you were, you wouldn't be experiencing being in full and complete union with Him. And then if you let go of that, then you're gone. But He's wanting you to be here. That would be a violation of His wanting you here. So you're going to lose yourself?

So, as he explained to us, as big a tzaddik you are and as profound person you live in the comtemplation of your soul in the presence of G-d and the greatness of G-d, and the great exhiliarated ecstasy that might come with that, that is not ultimate connection. Dafka, the connection that can be experienced far more deeply is by doing one small act which is an expression of His desire. See how he explains it: The mitzvot, that's the depth of his desire. He doesn't have to hide his face there. The life force that's in doing His will, that's not something other than Him, that's Him. Which now you're aligned with and you're participating with the manifestation of bringing into expression of. It's completely at one with Him. And then in that act, you become completely at one with Him. In there and in that act.

It might sound funny. I've been married twenty-five years. By the way, I was really guided. My wife's birthday is today, the Alter Rebbe's yarzeit. Something going on there, huh? I want to tell you something, I'll try to keep it clean. But I can tell you, as much as we might think together, as much as we might talk together, or tell each other how much we love each other, as much as we touch, as much as there is all of that, there is nothing as great as one act which we do together as an expression of a joined will. And you know, it may even be taking out the garbage. That's a deep thing taking out the garbage. That really is. This is a joke, but Zevulun also means the garbage dump. That's the truth, The garbage dump, this world. Putting that aside. Because like, how much could I tell her that I love her? How many words would I be able to say? How many songs could I sing? As soon as I stop, it's going to become like, is that all? Because it's infinite and ongoing. It's not something you can describe. We say to G-d, dor l'dor yishabach ma'asecha, from generation to generation. Which, by the way, is dwell and dwell, dor l'dor, dirah to dirah, generation to generation, we keep saying it and we keep saying it. How much could we possibly say it? When are you going to stop saying it?

But you know what you can do with someone that you love? What happens when you just give a kiss? Have you said it all? You know what? You said it all. You know why? Because it's all right there in that moment and in that act. You think you're going to start spelling it out? Okay, good luck. What did you mean by that kiss, honey? Could you explain that to me? I'll try, but I think it might take me twenty-five years and more. It's every moment of our lives, it's everything that we're here for, it's everything in our connectedness that was in that. It's where our love for each other joined and merged into one and when it's with G-d, it's when His will became manifest through me and I gave it to Him through my act, that one touch, which is called a mitzvah.

I've been teaching this book and the Tanya really is a manual for meditation for those of you who have been looking for it. Here it is, of Jewish Meditation, he tells us here in perek lamed heeh, it's big and it's crucial. And it is because, you wouldn't want to kiss a person mindlessly, and so be fully connected and real with it. But the only thing that ever could possibly express in a way that you become one with is yishakeni mnishikut pihu. Kiss me from the kisses of your mouth, which is what knesset yisrael says to G-d. Ki tovim dodecha m'yayinn, because your love is greater than the wine of your written torah, and Chazal learn that verse as oral torah, that's the kiss of your mouth, that's what we're making together, that's the acts that we realize are meant to be done now, and ultimately by the doing of them. It's in the mind, and it becomes most profoundly in the deed. That's why dodecha, which means "your lovings" is the same letters as David, which is your lovings. Because David is the end point, the malchut, and David is also the deed.

(1:00:52) "V'ineh…" So the Scheninah, which is the revelation of his divinity, and the light of the infinite one, v'ezeh davar…it's in one thing, that is to say, that that thing has become participant in the light of G-d, batel in his body, that's why he has his dirah in the tachtonim, by that which is not completely given over to him. The light of G-d does not dwell upon it. And even the Tzaddik gamur is completely cleaving to G-d with a great love, and intense love, well, ultimately, his meditation, his thought cannot hold him, because the truth of G-d is that He is the full truth and His unity of being alone is that there is no other than Him.

So this lover, who is still in yesh, and not known and trying to grasp Him can not, it only happens through his deed. Listen to this: Rambam tells us about David. David is deed-doer, and the end point of the dudaim, the davidaim, and it’s the end point of the dodim. Ki tovim dedecha mi yayin. And he tells us about it in the context of what happens when people are dancing in the Beit Hamikdash at the simchat beit hashoevah. Remember Hillel the Zakayn, im ani kan, hakol kan? So listen to how the Rambam describes what happens there. He says, the real people to dance there? (Laughing). The real people to dance there? The real ones dancing, they're the talmidei chachamim. They are the roshei yeshiva, the sanhedrin, chachmei yisrael, chassidim, z'keynim, anshei ma'aseh, the ones who know how to do. They are the ones who are fully dancing there. Then he goes on and says the following. He says, Let me teach you about simchah, about joy, because that's what Sukkot was. By the way, sukkah is kneged binah. Hasimchah she yismach ha adam b'asiyat ha mitzvah, the simchah that a person has a joy with when he's doing a mitzvah, and the love of G-d who commanded it avodah g'dolah hih, that's a big avodah. That's big work. What's the big work? He's going to tell you. …. Anyone who prevents himself from this simchah deserves to have judgement executed on him. Now listen to his choice of words. Anyone who prevents himself from the mitzvah, it's appropriate that he be nichrah from him. You see, in Hebrew, it's a funny thing, you know? Pharoah, is in the kabbalah, the stand off of real malchut. Pharoah, in Hebrew, Para, means to separate, paruah, wild, and basically unconnected, priah is when two things are pulled apart. Lhiparah mimenu, this guy's like a Pharoah-type, but putting that aside, you can take that as a drash or as a true insight. Listen to the Rambam in the way he says it. You know what the big avodah in simchah is? Let me tell you. The big avodah in simchah is don't stop yourself from being happy. That's what he says. He says there's a big avodah here. In doing the mitzvah and in loving G-d. Where did the love come from? Who's talking about love? Is the Rambam getting romantic? The great thing about the Rambam is, don’t suspect him of that. The Rambam is extremely clear and precise. Why did he throw in love? The simchah of Simchat Beit Hashoevah is about dancing and joy, right? . Usmachtem b'chagecha vahitah ach sameach. Where did the Rambam pull in love from? And then he says, the G-d who commanded you to do this is a-- Excuse me, the great joy in doing the commandments that G-d has commanded you, it's a big avodah! I'll tell you what the avodah is, (1:07:33)…if you stop yourself from the simchah, then you deserve to be punished, nifrah, and cut off. That's the punishment. How do we know? The verse says so. The Chumash says in chapter twenty-eight of Devarim. You're going to be exiled from this land if you don't do G-d's work b'simcha uv'tov leva. What does that mean? To do it with joy and to do it with a good heart. A good heart. Maybe the Rambam learned love from a good heart. Simchah and tuv levav. Simchah and love. Love is the full heart. Love is the experience of abundance of what is. Love is the connectivity of seeing the good as we've learned, and joining with it. If you cut yourself off from that, then you deserve to be cut off and you deserve to go into exile. It's all the same thing. It's like an oxymoron. Meaning, that by definition, to stop yourslef from being happy means to cut yourself off. Because when you're attached to life in fullness, you're in full joy. That's just the way it works. Want to know where to see it? Look at the children. Full of zest, full of joy. Until they start getting self-conscious and start worrying about their honor. Start worrying about the impression they're making. Or the image they're trying to project or the external realization that they are convince that they ought to be and all that stuff, man, should be/ought to/connect to life. The Rambam is saying, If you stop yourself-- that's the big avodah people. Don't be moneah yourself. Bah! Well, he tells you what it looks like. …..(1:10:13) a Person who becomes totally bloated or self-conscious or self-involved, neges daatoh. Full in his thinking…cholek kavod l'atzmo--an amazing term--and he divides out honor to himself. He's like taking his piece he's out of the ani kan hakol kan. It's my piece, it's my territory. It's what I am and what I'm supposed to be-- take me as I am. And needs to protect himself that life shouldn't just flow him Gee, if life flows through me, then where am I in all this? cholek kavod l'atzmo. Seeking for the honor of his delimited self. You know who he is?....And he's creating honor for himself in his own eyes, total self-consciousness,. He is a sinner, he is a fool. The sinner I think is kneged simchah, because choteh means he's off, missing the mark, out of alignment and shoteh is kneged love. He's a fool. Isn't there a phrase, only fools fall in love? Something like that? The truth is only fools don't. Because the fool is so caught up in what his own heart is thinking he's holding in his shrirut libo. In the meanderance of his own inner life, that he's become disconnected from realty. Those are the people who fall out of love, the ones who disconnect from reality-- they fall out of love. That's what it means to fall out of love. That's what literally in Hebrew is shoteh. Someone who's shot. Although in English it sounds pretty good too. But in Hebrew shat means "to float above it." Like la shoot al hamayim. What is that? You're disconnected. Lost the tuv lev, the connecting heart. Ah. ….. (1:13) About this Shlomo said, don’t make yourself into big stuff in front of the king, don't bloat yourself in front of the king G-d, the real king in real kingship. The Rambam completes this by saying the following…when there's a joyous celebration of G-d's work in the world, of life, the ones who lower themselves, who lower their honor. …And forget about their body, in these times, in these places, he's the great and honored one who's worshipping G-d out of love. I'm having trouble. Love, joy, which one is it? Do you know, the simple gematria of simchah is shen echad. Or sham echad. Or sam echad. Any one of them. Het hay is the gematria of one, which of course is the gematria of love. And that's what happens when you're really connected with life. It's joyously running through you. You're creative, you're connected, you're in, you're happy, you're feeling the fullness of all that is. You're in love. And when you're in love, that's what you experience. It didn't have to be that way. You didn't have to be happy when you're in love. But people are.

And then he ends this whole section with--guess who? With David. B'chen David melech yisrael amar… This is what David said when he was dancing his way up to the Beit Hamikdash. He said, "I'm willing to make myself even cheap even than this." He was dancing around, it's a whole story to look at, he was kicking it up, his robe is like flying and going total berzerk. It's like, wow! Unbelievable scene going on. The king of Israel is dancing around the aron habris that's going up to the Beit Hamikdash, and he's losing it! So then he comes home. And the whole time his wife's been watching him. And his wife is the daughter of Shaul, who's a different kind of king, whom we cannot explore right now. Her name is Michal, which is kelim. She's holding things in the vessels. She doesn't want too much light in the vessels. It's like getting out of hand. So she's watching him dancing and she comes to him and says, that's disgusting! You've done shame to all of us, dancing that way. All the shifchas can see you. Ding. Shifchas? Hmm.What's going on with all the shifchas anyway? All the shifchas can see you. I don’t know what she was thinking. But it had to do with "a little more decorum please. Your tie got disheveled, David." So, David says to her, the verse the Rambam here quotes: Don't worry about me, I'm ready to make it even worse (inaud) myself even lower than what you've seen. Then the story ends by saying, and Michal never had children. That's sad, but what's it got to do with this? It's got everything to do with this. You can't have children unless you have the child-like. It's the truth. Really, by the way of zivug, by way of kissing and connection. If you don't have the child-like, relations are called in Hebrew "to play around." Isn't that funny, that we should have children by playing around? L'sachek? What are we laughing about? Shouldn't having children be a serious matter? When peep come in with their ties and jackets, and he's with his tie and jacket and she's with, what's going on here? It's absolutely infantile. That's what it is. These peep are losing themselves. We shouldn't be losing ourselves. But children are born by couples losing themselves and playing. Imagine being overly careful. That's not the way halachah has it. All kinds of things have developed over the centuries, but that's not the way of the Talmud. They're playing aounrd. Sha'ashuah. Strange. But that's exactly it. The joy of life is expressed in that moment, and its so in the moment. And only then can a child be born. There's even a Rashi in Masechet Niddah that says--no, I'll put that one aside. So, of course she didn't have children. Nor really can Torah she b'al peh be born of anything else. If it's all stuck up, then it's not going to be real to the moment. Nor can a life with G-d be with anything else. People have it wrong. The love of G-d, this is exacly what the Rambam is describing here, it's David HaMelech dancing mfazez umfarker. He's dancing, it's beautiful in its joyousness and playful. Sha'ashuah, creative. That's not to say there's no rules, of course there are rules. That's not to say there aren't kelim. Of course there are kelim. It's just to say what mood is meant to be. And so the Rambam has taken us mamash full circle, because Avraham is where it began, the great lover of G-d, and Daivd is where it ends, the great lover of G-d in joy. Because by Avraham it's not in joy because it's not in the world, so to speak. But in David it's in the beautiful creative act, living here, in this world with G-d, in love with Him, that it all comes to realization and expression. So the Rambam, these halachot, ends with this quote: 1:22:57, There is no greatness, and there is no honor, except to be in joy before G-d, as it says, ….vhamelech david mfazaz umfarker, lifneh Hashem. king David he was "living it up." In front of G-d.

(Questions): Sof hilchot lulav. Maytal said, what act? And there's lots of acts, mitzvot. First I want to say, Taryag, six-hundred and thirteen, which is the number of mitzvot, is the gematria of "love connection" Tav Reish, six-hundred is kesher, yud gimel, is thirteen, love. Love connection. And it's also one connection. Putting that aside. The Rambam writes, and not everyone agrees with the Rambam. In this the Maharal takes very strong issue with him and I've got to be careful today because the Maharal is the great-great-grandfather of the Baal ha Tanya. But the Rambam says, the reason why there are so many mitzvot, is just so you can get just one right. (Laughter) You don't have to say that, but it's interesting in the context of what we've been learning today.

But between us, I don't think it's quite that way. Life is long. Circumstances shift. There's all kinds of possibilities that life is offering and it's not just so to speak, taking the garbage out. There are many other things that we do for each other that are these miniscule expressions of endless love. And so it's the same way also with the mitzvot. There are many aspects of our lives, what needs to be done, and there are many aspects of why G-d has commanded what it is that He has commanded for us to do. Such that there would be many of them.

But you know what? It all started out as one kiss, a miniscule kiss, and this is cosmologically so. The current cosmologists going theory, won a noble prize, that the Big Bang was not a vast energy source that everything grew out of. No. The Big Bang began with a microscopic spot of energy which within, and they found this with particle accelerators and readings from the cosmos etc. within a fraction of a second, ten to the seventy-third power, of a fraction of a second of a second. It moved from something you could barely see with a microscope, to everything there is. That was the Big Bang. They can't quite chop where that one came from, but they've gotten it down to that small. If that help anyone. But I'll tell you this is exactly a Ramban in the Chumash, that the world began as a nekudah k'tanah dakah she eyn bo mamash. That the world began as a small miniscule, delicate point that had nothing to it. That's exactly what the cosmologists have arrived. Nothing but a particle. If you can talk about particles. And the fact is, because you can't really talk about particles, that's why everything was right there. All of the energy of the universe was right there. It doesn't matter how big it is. Everything is right there. And this is the first kiss.

Repeating from above to remind us why: What happens when you just give a kiss? Have you said it all? You know what? You said it all. You know why? Because it's all right there in that moment and in that act… It's every moment of our lives, it's everything that we're here for, it's everything in our connectedness that was in that

[Because G-d, in a sense, couldn't have made the world. And the ba'al hatanya teaches this: G-d made the whole world out of one spot, because if it would be anything more than that it would be as if you were trying to contain all the love that G-d has for creation in "here's the whole thing." But when He creates it but not giving you the whole thing, but he creates it by giving you one little dot, so it's clear this is not by virtue by its dimensions, not meant to represent everything that I'm feeling and I'm wanting and desiring for this planet. It's like the one kiss.] Rework this entire idea.

So the whole world actually began with the one miniscule act. And all we do is so miniscule. If we would be all the way in outer space, you wouldn't be able to see me making Kiddush Friday night. It's like a miniscule point of nothingness. Does that mean something? I love it. It's like the Ramban and the cosmologists converge and they say, Well, you know, it's nothing just like the first point of Creation was nothing. It was also a miniscule, microscopic spot which contained everything in it. Yeah, this is wild stuff, the way these things have converged now. It's very exciting. Because we're getting very close.

This by the way, is an amazing Gemara that says: Once there was a Rabbi who was teaching. And he says, Tomorrow we're going to talk about our friend, Menashe. Now our "friend, Menashe" refers to King Menashe, who was an idol worshipper. So that night he had a dream and his friend, Menashe came to him, angry that he was so disrespectful of him. So Menashe said to him, "What do you think? If you had been in my times, you would have been picking up your skirttails to run in order to get to the avodah zarah to worship it. And by the way, do you know where you cut the bread from when you make motsei?" No, where? "From the place it bakes first." Then Menashe disapperas. He comes into the Beis Hamidrash the next morning, and he says, "Today we're going to speak about Menashe the King." And he teaches them the halachah of where to cut the bread from. So the Ramban says, You know where avodah zarah comes from? It comes from where reality is all dispersed. As if it's all separate things. So you don't realize that it has one energetic source. But if people knew the truth, they would know that it all began as one point. So that makes it a appropriate reflection, as much as a physical reflection can be an appropriate reflection of the truth of the unity of G-d. Because it began as one point. So listen. Everytime you take your sustenance, and you feed your experience of you being separate, which is what you're doing every time you're eating. And if you feed your reality from the point of being separate, so then cut the bread from the point where it started baking from. Meaning the place that's most well-baked on the bread, because everything spread from there. And if you will be reminding yourself of that comtemplative nekudah, of that contemplative point, then you'll always be oriented yourself and connecting to the oneness from where it all emerged.

What was the question? Did someone sask me a question. I was answering a question, right? Ah, yeah, We're on target. Because our one deed, when it's completely focused, is the end point of that deed when G-d did when he made the world. That one point, spread it all out, and then it forms back into the one deed that you're doing now, (it's?) creatively connecting to it. That one kiss which says it all. Really couldn't be anything more.

I just want to say one more thing. When it becomes real and present and physical, ironically it's the most spiritual thing. Because all the other stuff can't hold it all the way the real present, right on the spot can. When that spot becomes a point of connection within, through a mitzvah--what a great opportunity, oh boy, we're very lucky. I don't think there's any other people like this that knows this truth. What a place it's going to be when everyone knows this truth. Do good, be good, consciousness of doing His will and exxpressing it. What a planet it will become.

(Question: Leah giving up her ego. Letting go, and Leah's final gift.?) This man named Zevulun, or this name which is Zevulun, the sixth son. Rabbenu B'chaya, a great Kabbalist, said that, the sixth son is the vav, the connectivity. The vav is the sixth letter of the alphabet, one line, it's also the letter of Yaakov because he runs from one end to the other connecting it all, as we saw in Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad. He's the ladder, and he's the bridge. So Zevulun is where she totally becomes at one with him in creating a dwelling place which is the reality of them together. Is that clearer to you? (Interrupting) He's a person and a tribe head. He also is the one who provides for Yissahcar, the physical context for Yisasschar to function, as it says,… He dwells on the seashore, because he's always going out to sea to far, distant lands in order to connect with all of life and reality and make it all participant in the Bnei Yissaschar. That's what's going on, spiritually speaking. Physically speaking, he's the one who comes up with the goods, but spiritually, what he does is by bringing good from all over the planet. He doesn't do business in Israel. He's in chutz l'aretz, he's in import-export. He's like, his reality is: one of everything is participating in this, and everything is part of this. It can't be that Bnei Yisasschar is being supported by anything less than the whole planet. That's what Zevulun is. His blessing becomes "he dwells on the end points of the sea." The sea is the malchut. The ocean is the container that holds it. That's why it says at the end of time, that the knowing of G-d will cover the planet like the sea will cover the yam. Like the waters will cover the yam. So the mefarshim say, What do you mean? I thought the waters are the yam. The yam is the receptacle that gives it from and picture. And then G-d 's knowledge will cover the planet like water, which is the connective force of reality, it hold it together, covers the yam, fills the yam. That's when love will connect all because, really, love is the connective tissue, that's what holds it together. It's love, What else would be holding this together, at least from our perspective?

My dear talmid, Bariah Schechter,did I tell you this, about the yin and yang? He was learning Chinese medicine. So this Chinese medicine lecturer was explaining to the class about yin and yang. You know, the polarities, going through the whole thing, and she was explaining how they function, etc. and so at the end of class, he raises his hand, and he says, can you tell me something? Do yin and yang love each other? It's like so totally out of whack with Chinese philosohphy-- it's so Jewish. Because what's holding it all together is what we experience as love. Because it's all one thing. The unity of G-d is love. And that's not a kind of romantic thing to say. First of all, we saw that the name havayah, the inner workings of yud-key-vav-key is aleph heh, vet, heh, but beyond the naming, the point is that that's really what it is. Reality is simply manifesting different qualities and realities in different ways. What you experience as love, the different parts of this glass experience as connectivity. It's just different realities expressing in different forms.

(Question: Why is Sukkah the thing that the Rambam chooses to teach us about love and joy?) So it has to do with a number of factors that would be somewhat complex to get involved in right now. But the main one is that sukkah is the main point at the end of the year. You've gathered it all in. You've reached your conclusions. That's why we read Kohelet then. You're sitting now in a reality which is allowing you to have a vision of what it's all about. That's what it is. Its called the or makif. It's the surrounding light. It's where you go when you're dead from this world. Which is also what the sukkah celebrates, so to speak--you're dead and buried. Now you're able to look back at what it's all about. You're no longer in the fight. You're no longer in the struggle. You're taken care of. Your experiences of life, which has taken care of you. Now I can look back and see what it was all about. So in a certain sense, when you're dead is when you can really connect to life, when you're not fighting off all the stuff, and in the chase. Now that the year is over, now I can connect to the flow of life as it is. It's not about my ego, it's not about my struggle to make myself. Now, I touch life. It has to do with the sukkah.

Help, Chaya, are you going to save us? If I can bring it to a point, it's that. It's the joy in contact with the one concentrated act which says it all. And I've let go of my pre-judgemnts and pre-conceptions and pre-decisions, and I'm able to be in the moment as it's presenting itself and to live fully what it is that G-d is speaking through me right now.

(Question: That thing we want most is often so illusive but the formula you've been presenting is you let it go, and that's what brings it about anyway.)

You give up on the chitzoniut of it. Meaning, it doesn't have to come through this particular path that I've determined, which might even include me. I know this as a teacher. If I don't let go, and say what I say, and give it over to the students, and they'll take it where they're going to take it. And if I'm not willing to do that, I won't teach. And nothing will be realized. There are people that are like, I'll only write it in a book if I copyright it. But I'm not going to say anything about my chiddushim to anyone, chas v'shalom they should steal them away. There's such a thing, but then you lose the entire creative dynamic of the creativity which happens by virtue of it being with people. That's what I love, and it took me years to really be at peace at that. There's something that happens in the room because it's you particular people who are here, including the ones who have already left… because it's these particular people. There's a sort of creative house that's been made by virtue of the people who have been sitting here. I'm very aware of that and in a sense, it's not my Torah, it's the Torah of everyone in the room who brought this into reality. It's very interreactive for me.

For a long time I worried, "Is it because I'm a showman? I have to be showing it off?" A lot of self-denigrating thoughts around that: "It's all status seeking. If I were really honest, I would be sitting down writing it down, and then publish it anonymously." Really, there's something true about Zevulun, a house that's been built by virtue of all that who are connected in it. So yes, it's a letting go of propriety, but it's not a letting go in a sense of a surrender of a giving up, a yeush. There is a joy that comes about by virtue of it and then it produces the new children.

(Question: How tro bring that joy into something that would be an otherwise painful experience--giving up the shifcha) That's so weird, because the child the shifcha gives birth to, she calls him Asher, because G-d has made me happy. I'm not sure if I explained it, but we see some kind of reflection in that. It's a weird thing, but there are many barren couples that I've seen, that when they adopt their first child, then the gates open up. I'll give you the exact quote. The first one she calls bagad, which is a difficult name to understand, something like "this has been good luck," and then the second one she calls asher, my joy. So, you're looking for what that looks like in life, and how we might be cognizant of that as an avodah, of …a particaular form that we were expected something to come down through, without giving up the purpose and the life purpose but with loosening of the attachment to the particular form that we thought it would hold. Am I saying that right?

(This looks like as a formula, that birth joy, The joy doesn't come in doing it…. But if you can do it, then joy is born. I don't think it's natural to feel joy in that place. Maybe G-d doesn't want us to feel joy in doing it. Maybe just to rise to the challenge. But in the end that creates a bigger joy.)

(I have a response to that. Tying in to the class before this and this class. David is one of the happiest people and therefore can connect--)

The Rambam describes him as the "paradigm of joy"--

(--very fully with Hashem Also we see that David went through some of the most pain of everyone. So his joy could result from these holes, like in the class before we learned that in order to let G-d in, let us fulfill these desires, the ratzon that we need to open up, create holes, see that we are constantly lacking so that we can constantly grow. So that pain is creating those holes, those spaces… by her letting go and experiencing that sadness, so then her holiness is that much more intense because of everything she's going through.)

(Pain doesn’t have to be looked at as a negative thing. Darkenss isn't bad, just filled of itself. We don't have to fight it. Just as important as death is to life.)

Actually the midrash says that Rachel complained to Yaakov, How come you're not praying for me? When she says in the verses there, there is a rupture: Bring me children. If you don't, I'm going to die. So Yaakov says, You think I'm instead of G-d? And then the next line is her turning over her shifcha to Yaakov. So there's a rupture. Did she go through something in between? So the midrash says, she said to Yaakov, How come you're not praying for me? And Yaakov says, Look at your grandmother and see what she did. She was machnisah tsaratah lbetah. Which has a double meaning of tsarah, antagonist wife and her suffering. She brought it into her house. So if that's what needs to be, then that's what I'll do. And then Leah saw that and did the same.