Kirsten and Margie talk to Christy all about their experience wedding planning as a Queer couple during the Pandemic. They share replanning their wedding multiple times, marriage equality, and more. Things get edgy on this one, so buckle up and enjoy! Kirstin is a creative living and desperately trying to thrive in Los Angeles, the land of creatives. She is a passionate dog mom, plant connoisseur, blossoming baker, and newlywed to her wonderful wife, Margie, who she has with her today too! Margie works in the talent agency space, is an intersectional feminist, a foodie at heart, and an aspiring forest hag. Kirstin, the creator of the Queerlyweds blog (https://hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds), states the goal of Queerlyweds is to be a wedding planning guide for Queer people where they can feel safe, seen, and secure. Everything she writes is based on real-life experiences and she always include personal anecdotes in her writing. Big Takeaways * Kirstin and Margie wrote their vows together and read them one line at time, switching back and forth. They found it so magical, and mesmerizing. * They ultimately decided to get married in October 2020, before the election, because of fears around the potential of losing marriage equality, and therefore certain rights that come in medical emergencies, etc. They made the decision to be sure they were protected. * The use of “bride” so widely can create a bit of an emotional labor overload. There is a lot of extra work to be done to increase representation. * Something to look for on vendor websites and social media grids that show representation/queer friendliness is language. Word choice, descriptions, explanations, etc. Ex: how heavily gendered is their content? Is their idea of weddings open-ended? * Because of the smaller wedding, and needing to be particular about who was attending, they eliminated plus-ones, unless they were friends of the couple. They also organized a small cocktail party for those who weren’t invited, but in the end felt that it was unnecessary. Some Potential Vendor Red Flags: * Use of the word "Jesus" can sometimes be a veiled way of saying the vendor does not do queer weddings * Terms like "Boss Babe" and "Boss Bitch" plays into hustle culture in a weird way, and can really come off as aggressively feminine Links We Referenced Queerlyweds on Instgram (https://www.instagram.com/queerlyweds/) Kirsten on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/hellokirstin/) hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds (https://hellokirstin.com/queerlyweds) Quotes “If this is what is going to happen, if this is the course of events that life is handing us, then that’s okay. Let’s make the most of it. Let’s still do the thing that’s going be incredible and beautiful and we’re going to be surrounded by people that we love, to celebrate us. We have these people that want to throw together a wedding for us in a week. Which was absolutely wild to me.” -Kirstin “If marriage equality wasn’t in the position that it’s in, I really wouldn’t feel pressured to get married. I don’t really think that marriage is necessary.” - Margie “Unfortunately, us existing is political. And us moving through the world. Us moving through the bridal industrial complex is political.” - Margie “I already know that I exist as a person that experiences certain marginalizations, I don’t need my vendors to remind me. I really don’t need that.” - Margie Plan your wedding using The Big Wedding Planning Master Class (https://www.thebigweddingplanningmasterclass.com/). A self-paced digital course created with love for you by Christy & Michelle. The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is... * Hosted and produced by Christy Matthews and Michelle Martinez. * Edited by Veronica Gruba. * Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics (https://www.mophonics.com/). * On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention! * Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook. * Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode * On Patreon. Become a member (https://suitshop.com/?utm_campaign=EngagedLeads&utm_content=BWPPPartnership&utm_medium=BWPP&utm_source=ReferralLink) and with as little as $5 per month, you get bonuse episodes, special newsletters and Zoom Cocktail Hours with Christy & Michelle! 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