The Super Premium Patient Treatment Centre is an exclusive wing of the hospital and not at all a front for yet more diabolical schemes. How could anyone ever think that a privatised healthcare system could be corrupt? Just because people make money off other people's suffering. Absurd.

Written and produced by: Joel Cornah joelcornah.com Twitter: @JoelCornah

Credits: Perran Bezonian = Aym Phoenix twitter.com/AymTellsStories aymphoenix.com

Penne Rigante = Steven Poore twitter.com/StevenJPoore stevenpoore.wordpress.com

Viktrina Crested Grebe = Joanne Hall twitter.com/hierath77 hierath.wordpress.com

Agralad = S. Naomi Scott twitter.com/naomi_uk72 snaomiscott.net

News Reader = Di Croft twitter.com/di_croft

Lisa Townsland = Genevieve Sibayan twitter.com/gensibayan

Dr Quacks = Dominic G Martin www.imdb.com/name/nm9082390/ twitter.com/DominicJGM

Dr Patrick = Chris Walker-Thompson twitter.com/ChrisWalkerT chriswalkerthomson.com

Dr John = Tim Treloar twitter.com/TimTreloar99 timtreloar.com