Results & Relationships: Recent Episodes
Ric Lindberg
This show is devoted to helping you connect more deeply to those you work with, by providing actionable tips you can take, today, to get more accomplished in your professional life.
You are not late, yet its time to start with GenAI Software and make Privacy your first while teaching and talking about what you learn. Find your others who are also learning and experimenting and share whats working and not working effectivly for you. Right now its alot of bubbles of effectivly, and there are huge risks with that. Connect and elevate those around you - and in doing so you will learn to see risks you couldnt dream om in your wildes imagination. Together you will find new ways to better paths.
Gadgets, Software & Tools Betray you every day, nonstop. Defaults, Opt-outs, Opt-Ins, Design-Choices affect you way more than most of us can imagine. Please take a minute regularly to check the settings of the apps you use, privatly, family-wise as well as in your corporate environment. Tools are not your friends, even if they've been designed to feel like it. Now that you see, you can choose intentionall whats helpful and whats not. Whats effective for those you care about and whats not. Options really matter. Yours especially. Resources mentioned briefly in this cast.
Your TV Is Spying On You and Taking Screenshots 2025-06-20, 18min Naomi Brockwell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeq2m-OM53A
Book
https://www.amazon.com/When-Gadgets-Betray-Infatuation-Technologies/dp/B004VK2F4E
Notion.AI did this automatically from my notes for for this year.
+in the audio I share some of my own thoughts reading this myself.
1. Embrace Empathy as Your Foundation Recognize that almost everything demands practical empathy - understanding that others don't see what you see, want what you want, or know what you know. This acceptance is crucial for meaningful connections.
2. Play the Infinite Game Approach relationships as infinite games rather than finite ones. Focus on sustaining and growing connections rather than "winning" individual interactions.
3. Understand System Dynamics Recognize that relationships exist within larger systems. Consider how networks, communities, and environments influence your connections with others.
4. Create Value Before Expecting Returns Build relationships by first considering what you can contribute to others' success rather than what you can get from them.
5. Acknowledge Time as a Critical Factor Remember that relationships evolve over time. Today's interaction is not the same as tomorrow's - build with patience and long-term perspective.
6. Develop Strategic Flexibility Be prepared to adapt your approach as relationships evolve. What works in one context or time might not work in another.
7. Focus on Mutual Enrollment Look for ways to align interests and create shared goals, making sure both parties are invested in the relationship's success.
8. Build Resilient Connections Accept that relationships will face challenges. Design your approach to weather uncertainties and changes rather than expecting perfect conditions.
9. Maintain Authentic Communication Be clear about your intentions and expectations, but remember that authenticity doesn't mean sharing everything - it means being truthful about what you do share.
10. Create Conditions for Growth Instead of trying to control relationships, focus on creating conditions where positive connections can naturally develop and flourish.
Remember, these recommendations aren't about manipulating relationships but about creating genuine, sustainable connections that benefit all parties involved. The most successful relationships and results are those where all parties grow together over time.
A slight shift of just a few percent recurringly in how you prioritize and thus allocate your time, focus, energy, and effort will make a big difference in your relationships. Thus, it will significantly lift those you keep showing up for (and with)
Seth Godin is back on your podcast for a conversation about Strategy, Time, Empathy, Games & Systems. And his new book "This is Strategy."
Hopefully, it will guide your own compass, decisions and actions today so we can serve those it's for in a way they want remarkably repeatable. Want to get Seths book?
https://seths.blog/thisisstrategy
Curious on the Udemy course?
https://udemy.com/course/this-is-strategy-with-seth-godin
The other book mentioned The Crux: How Leaders Become Strategists by Richard Rumelt
https://amazon.com/Crux-How-Leaders-Become-Strategists/dp/B09WRTFWNZ
Quote:
What am I stalling right now because I’m afraid?
What do you want to create and for whom?
Find someone, organize something and help others by creating a space where you talk about it
In case you dont have time to listen:
A quote or two. Quality creates Growth. Growth creates Bloat. Quality lets you do more with what you've got—forces you to focus. Bloat might be technical depth, doing things that are not in focus, or in ways you didn't intend/design. Often, bloat is a symptom of never deciding whom to serve, how, and why that matters to those specific people who care.
Peter Drucker say "Results only happen outside the organisation; everything inside it is a cost."
Below is the full raw Descript Auto-transcription of this episode. raw = its not edited, and Descript isn't perfect.
Continuous improvement and what you're unaware of control you. Continuous improvement is co-work. It's collaborative in nature. Yet quite often, we have countless books for self-development, and I'm quite sure wherever you've been working throughout your life, you have individuals who perhaps talk languages like self-learning, taking the initiative to learn.
And something happens. Usually, we have one or a few individuals in each team who are skyrocketing what they are able to achieve and what they're doing; they're embracing new technology, they're learning new processes, and they're adapting faster than most in a reorganisation. Yet something happens with improvement when we have a team of, say, six+ people, when we have a team of 15 people, and you're trying to scale that, and I'm not talking Dunbar's numbers now.
And the personal thing, an empathy thing. I'm talking about focusing on improvement as requiring a lot of vulnerability and trust. Yet, quite often, we don't talk about it. We talk about it as helping individuals to better things. We're talking about retrospectives and thinking, figuring out how we as an organisation become better.
it's important we actually think about this: what you're unaware of controls you here. We can't talk about continuous improvement if we don't ask ourselves, why are we here as a team? What's our promise to the organisation? Here, I think it's vital that we embrace the fact that our hurry to get to say number three on a scale of ten is often what blocks us from actually getting to ten.
Ten being able to scale up. Ten is being able to automate instead of require or hire, speed things up, and let people be free for vacations. In the long term, ten means serve better, not just because what happens when I say in our complex enough to get 3, it often blocks us from getting to 10.
What happens is, quite often, we have a KPI behind that we must get to. And perhaps we're unwilling to "embrace reality", as Manager Tools discusses. So we're instead focused there on ONLY doing enough to reach "level 3", blindfolding us for what we know lies beyond. Because that's what we need to get done this month. Sacrificing the future. And we need to have empathy for that.
Empathy for that other team who does it "to us un-intentionally". You need to realise you're most likely doing it, too. You're most likely also in a hurry to get to three. That blocks you from scaling up and automating more. And the better we become at talking about it, the higher we can grow. If we can talk about that quality creates growth, which is a good thing, because then you have resources to automate, then you have resources actually to figure out a better way to serve.
What is this team here for? Who are our customers, who are, and what does the revenue look like? And as that starts to grow, growth creates bloat and bloat is usually again, in the form of, okay, there's the journey of the urgent looking good in the KPI, in this specific thing that some of the team, especially if you're in a global organisation.
People are mindful of their own KPIs, and they're not really seeing the whole business. And that's why when we talk about continuous improvement, we need to start with, why are we here? On a great day, what is our healthy boundaries? I'm probably making that a block of three instead of ten for some teams.
Then we need to talk about that with our manager and people up senior saying how can we work on this together. Then we need to go down again to look at our own continuous improvement saying why are we here again? This is to who are we doing this for? Probably, the continuous improvement will change.
Because not everything matter. If we dare to be very specific, who our team is here for, if we dare to be very specific, what our promise is for the work we're doing, the better we can become at it, the faster we can become really good at it, figuring out how can we automate more, how can we save resources so we can do this better long term.
And another way of saying this is focus. How can we focus on what actually matters and is worth improvement? New shiny objects will always come along, so how can you stay committed to that? And how can you be consistent with that? It's only with consistency that real improvement happens, especially if we go beyond ourselves and look at a team.
Notice it gets more complex when we're talking about getting a team to do continuous improvements. There are a lot of negotiations and painting a picture, and I am looking for that enrollment because no one exactly aligns with any one individual. So you probably need to work on your very local situation, um, on how continuous improvement looks like.
With trust, with transparency, with protecting your team. With this embracing that, reality is someone else isn't hired to get to three that will block you from getting to ten. And how can you have empathy for your own situation with that? How can you have empathy with their situation with that?
And then when you have worked on improving your local situation, And the resistance and the hard work of getting that to work beyond one. Now, looking at the global, how can we work with continuous improvement globally? It's very different from what it's for. It's a very different who it's for.
And probably starts with empathy. Probably with yourself, with that, you have multiple accesses that will only partially align. And when you do scale that up to 60 people, 100 people, perhaps thousands of people, safety looks very different. Especially if you're thinking of multicultural countries and stuff like that, you probably have one idea of what safety looks like.
You probably have one belief and trust in that, that won't be exactly the same globally. Yet safety and trust is really important for continuous improvement. And we need to embrace ourselves too, that, when we say who it's for, it's quite, quite often, specifically, if you're a freelancer, choosing your clients.
If you're an entrepreneur, choose your customer. If you're, an employee, choose your manager. It's really, really important. And continuous improvement is really important for your next thing in life. So, and that also goes back to the core, be the one who lift other people, be the one who train other people, share what you learn, goes back to this three out of 10, carve out some space to elevate the people around you.
It does not mean picking up a new shiny object because there will be a new tool, a new reorg, a new thing, and daring to commit and focus, daring to be specific. And also again, in the line of continuous improvement, sometimes the challenge is, are we supposed to do this? And how does that fit into the trajectory this team is on?
How does this work with the other work we're doing? And if we think we can fix our bubble and then ignore the rest, the continuous improvement will fade, will be less impactful. So if you can start to embrace that it's actually very collaborative, and other people see what you're unaware of, there will be accesses that you will never see that are sort of coax grinding against yours, the better you become at improving what matters for the people who actually care.
But it starts with you, thinking about who you want to serve, what problem is worth solving, and thus, if it's worth solving, worth improving on. And then talking to other people around you about that. About how that changes as you grow. Thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a great one.
[ Recorded with Audio-Technica AUD BPHS1 and Rodecaster Pro2, 2024-07-21 ]
use it to put some constraints on shipping what might matter today
Remind yourself of it daily. On your decisions. On your effort. On your relationships. On those you choose to help get to where they want to go.
On the internet. On Everything...
Easy is already taken.
Great, since you don't really want to play an easy game.
You want to play an interesting, worthwhile game with people who care and who want to come back the next time you gather the party.
You sure its yours?
Please move your stuff where its protected, actionable and less costly for our future.
Are you Creating and holding space for Questions? Are you pondering on what uncertainty to to you and those around you?
Are you actively helping others reflect and ask themselves what if and other powerful questions?
Autobot summary:
We explore the concept of "after commitments," focusing on the impactful actions and efforts that would be missed if discontinued. It highlights the importance of ensuring others recognize the value of these efforts and continue them after our involvement ends. This concept is particularly relevant in project management and cybersecurity, where success is measured by reaching milestones and ensuring sustainability and continued relevance over time.
Ric apologizes for missing last week's episode and expresses gratitude for listener feedback, emphasizing the importance of specific and meaningful communication amidst a sea of generic messages.
The discussion underscores the necessity of embedding the principles of after-commitment into our work. This approach aims to achieve immediate goals and secure lasting benefits and value.
It then addresses the challenge of recognizing the true impact of our work due to biases and the importance of viewing our efforts from others' perspectives. The episode touches on the necessity for empathy, humility, and the questioning of our contributions' long-term sustainability and integration within existing processes or habits.
The episode concludes with reflections on the role of after commitments in assessing our work's relevance and effectiveness and the importance of facilitating a smooth transition for others to maintain and build upon our efforts.
Listeners are encouraged to consider their areas of influence—whether topics, people, or values—and how they can contribute to sustained positive outcomes. The episode challenges the audience to think about the legacy of their actions and how their efforts will continue to be fruitful and relevant in the future.
In summary, "After-Commitments" calls for thoughtful, enduring impact beyond completing a task or project, emphasizing the importance of building habits and systems that ensure continuity, relevance, and lasting value.
Almost 100% of the world didn't notice last week episode not showing up as usual. Focus on the important people (select few) who missed what it brought to their lives. Don't let the others distract you from you helping those who see, those who care. Those who benefit from your hard work. Those who would miss THEIR steps if they didn't get to engage with your work showing up for them.
You're Not Ready, you're Intentionally Small & Meaningfully Bold.
Auto-summary for those who don't have time to listen.
The importance of starting before feeling fully ready, arguing that waiting for readiness hinders learning and helping others.
It highlights the struggle with uncertainty and the human tendency to seek certainty, which can lead to inaction and missed opportunities for growth and assistance.
Suggests focusing on small, meaningful actions that can make a difference now, rather than waiting for the perfect conditions. I know it leaves less space to hide than a superb plan in your head. Remind yourself it's worth it when it feels too pressing to close.
By daring to take small steps, individuals can learn, help others, and eventually find a path that accelerates their ability to serve effectively. The overarching message is to embrace imperfection and uncertainty as opportunities for growth rather than barriers to action.
Barbara Oakley and I converse about Critical Thinking and Learning - recorded for those it might help. Barbara is the creator of Uncommon Sense Teaching, Learn Like a Pro, Learning How to Learn, and many other courses, books, talks, and business presentations.
Want to learn more from Barbara?
Here’s a great start
- https://coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn
- https://barbaraoakley.com
Books mentioned in this conversation
- The Worlds I See: Curiosity, Exploration, and Discovery at the Dawn of AI by Fei-Fei Li https://www.amazon.com/Worlds-See-Curiosity-Exploration-Discovery/dp/B0BSP29SQ4
- The Crux by Richard Rummelt https://www.amazon.com/Crux-How-Leaders-Become-Strategists/dp/B09WRTFWNZ
- Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World by Scott Shigeoka https://www.amazon.com/Seek-Curiosity-Transform-Change-World/dp/B0C822WG9W
- Annie Duke's books "The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away" and "Thinking in Bets”? https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-in-Bets-Annie-Duke-audiobook/dp/B078SBSBW3
- The Trusted Learning Advisor https://www.amazon.com/Trusted-Advisor-20th-Anniversary/dp/B095PSYBLC
- The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins https://www.amazon.com/The-Selfish-Gene-Richard-Dawkins-audiobook/dp/B004U8NB2M
- Everybody lies What the internet tells us about who we really are https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-audiobook/dp/B077XJ5QBB
- Play to Win by Roger Martin - What has to be true for this to be an effective strategy? https://www.amazon.com/Playing-to-Win-audiobook/dp/B00GRMUSOS
- Moral Mazes: The World of Corporate Managers by Robert Jackall https://www.amazon.com/Moral-Mazes-Robert-Jackall-audiobook/dp/B003ATPA1M
- Between the State and the Schoolhouse: Understanding the Failure of Common Core by Tom Loveless https://www.amazon.com/Between-State-Schoolhouse-Understanding-Educational/dp/1682535908
The article mentioned Curiosity’s different stances.
https://www.templeton.org/news/curiosity-has-two-faces General interest curiosity, Deprivation curiosity (Barb also said something new to me. predatory curiosity)
Explores the significance of understanding probability in decision-making, drawing on personal experiences with computer games like Stellaris, board games and roleplay games.
Combining this with YOUR perspective. What did you remove? What do you add? What you choose and not.
IF you're doing work that is meaningful and worth it you will be tired. Don't wait until you're not. Embrace it as part of the work. Embrace doing it early. Put it into the hands of someone who cares about it EARLY; don't wait until you're fully done or have figured it out. Do the hard part early and then EARLY put it into the hands of those who care so they help you pull it forward, feedback early before you waste time and others effort and attention on things you will cut once you understand the constraints better.
This is the summary from the generos bot, in case you don't have time to listen in.
explores the nuances and importance of disengagement in communication, especially over the phone. It emphasizes the need to recognize when the other person is not fully engaged and the significance of respecting oneself enough to disengage when necessary. The writer discusses the concept of active listening and creating space in conversations, not just filling it with one's own priorities.
it touches on the broader implications of disengagement for personal work and relationships, advocating for clarity and respect for others' time and engagement levels. The piece concludes by reminding of the value of disengagement and self-respect in various aspects of life.
if you prefer catching the summary from the generous bot instead of listening here it is:
this audio clip highlights the significance of embracing ambiguity in relationships and decision-making, viewing it as an opportunity for leadership and action. Clarity is essential, but most meaningful progress often occurs in ambiguous situations. Clarity is better reached by ACTION than by waiting any day of the year. Surely Patience, caution and other things are also critical yet often that NOT what it's about when we're waiting for clarity or a "better idea" or "know it's worth it before starting/daring."
Centres on the importance of persistence and simplicity, suggesting that solutions should focus on core needs rather than unnecessary complexities.
USE ambiguity as a catalyst for personal growth and effective problem-solving, particularly in a fast-changing world. If you're NOT your not leveling up nearly as effective.
Advocate for daring decision-making in ambiguous situations and using knowledge management tools to avoid repetitive errors and foster collective learning and progress. Please help others dare to embrace this too.
Summarized by the generous bot.
Think about your life, work and relationships in the terms "replaceable" and "irreplaceable parts". emphasizing the importance of recognizing which aspects of our lives and work are replaceable and which are not.
Most material things and processes, including our roles at work, are replaceable, but certain aspects, particularly related to our perspective, time, and decisions, are not.
The irreplaceable parts of our lives are largely defined by our perspectives and are not influenced by external opinions or societal norms. Understanding the difference between replaceable and irreplaceable parts can lead to freedom and clarity, allowing us to focus on what truly matters.
Tthe importance of relationships with family and friends, which are irreplaceable, unlike our replaceable roles at work. Reputation is discussed as something unique to each individual, irreplaceable yet fragile, necessitating careful nurturing and protection.
Reflect on your own life, identifying replaceable and irreplaceable parts, and to honour the latter to avoid losing what's most important.
There's an emphasis on backing up irreplaceable items like photos in the digital space, illustrating the need to understand and protect what's truly ours in a world largely controlled by others.
Focusing on the parts of our lives that we can change or influence, encouraging self-forgiveness and self-improvement in these areas.
Its important to regularly reflect on and have conversations with others to help distinguish between replaceable and irreplaceable parts of in your life and theirs, from their perspective, ensuring we focus our energy and care on what truly matters.
Generously, a bot has summarised like this, so you can skip this episode if it's not what you want to listen to.
The concept of "viable" in the context of product development and relationships emphasises its importance over "simply achieving the minimum" to get to green on the next iteration/shipping.
Viability includes ensuring a product or solution is effective for the creator, the customer, and the environment and that it should be meaningful. It's an easy trap to fall into focusing on the minimum by skipping the critical "minimum meaningful specific" instead of favouring the "minimum I can flag green on the project chart"
The speaker also touches on insecurity in product development, suggesting that accepting they exist and addressing insecurities leads to robust and impactful outcomes.
Encourage embracing inconvenience and addressing hard questions to create long-term viable and significant work. Finally, the speaker advises listing and being specific about the various viability aspects to ensure that solutions serve their intended purpose effectively.
How can you dare to focus more on viable early and recurring?
To make the meaningful specific as small as possible into the hands of a real user, a real customer or whoever you aim to help who also cares about getting that specific help - so you can learn what matters and quit what doesn't as fast as possible, with as little waste as possible. And especially waste that your future self doesn't thank you for because you were too rushed to cut corners to get to green today.
The generous Autobot said this about today's episode
it emphasises the importance of a collaborative, multiplayer mindset in adapting to the speed of technological advancements. It highlights the need to enhance processes across various aspects, not just individually. In the workplace, it urges reflection on how team members contribute to organisational success, considering their roles, learning speeds, and collaborative efforts.
The piece also explores the difference between human and AI ideas, underlining the significance of cooperation in our rapidly advancing world. Historical misconceptions, like the flat earth theory, are cited to demonstrate how human understanding evolves slowly, advocating for openness to new ideas. The example of handwashing in surgery, which took decades for doctors to accept, illustrates human reluctance to embrace new concepts.
Finally, the text poses a reflective question: if one isn't actively helping others learn and adapt to new technologies, are they truly participating in the collaborative environment knowledge management of today (multiplayer with async singleplayer threads), or are they isolated in the old ways of working (locked single-player mode)
Personal sounding board in today's arena Choose your HARD problem, and YOUR people who care about that problem don't just say it.
In today's fast-evolving landscape, choosing "your meaningful specific hard problem" and "your people" affected by it is crucial. Soft skills like empathy, understanding, and re-learning have always been essential. They are the core of this 10-year-old podcast, yet today, it's more important than ever. It's also becoming more accessible and easier to have your software-based sounding board give you tailored, specific answers instantly. This is great, yet bias and filters also pose a risk. AI-powered Ways of Working are already here, and middle managers are greatly affected since most of their work is coordination, communication, resourcing, and decision-making - stuff software often does way better, way more straightforward and without the cost of delay. An illustration in comparison. LinkedIn job ads will have a "get a resume review" button a year from now; many people will say thanks for helping us train our users to click this button. Top on this service is now an Autobot that will do this for 1% of the price and 90% of the results, making it critical for those who used to live "of/within" that boxed-in service - they now need to find other, better revenue and thus better ways to help their people.
Way of working agile resistance from managers - that kind of transparency and owning what is committed and what not is hard
Automation - SLA, KPI, OKR fulfilment. Often, I've encountered we don't want that automated since that would give conflicting reports with those PowerPoint where I've given myself some poetic freedom not to show all, to round a few metrics up for years, etc. An organization will only learn to run experiments for continuous risk reduction and better experiences faster and more often. What is the core of this for those you serve? And what experiments and learning should go where since not every initiative should be a win if your organisation aim to do better.
Ask yourself what complex and challenging problem might be worth it and for whom we ask yourself a meaningful specific. You need to be precise; otherwise, you can't follow up if it's working for its intended outcome or if you're becoming better at solving this specific problem.
Ask yourself this question.
What happens when your Autobot instantly gives time back to your boss or client while also leaving no room for conflicting reports?
You can ask any meaningful, specific question about any problem like this from many perspectives. Perhaps your client is a higher-up, getting time stolen from conflicting reports, which might help. Perhaps your client is middle management, juggling multiple perspectives from both upwards and peers.
Perhaps your client is forward-orienting and Happy to let go of sunk cost. Perhaps she is defending sunk cost whatever it costs?
Asking yourself questions like this, with empathy and daring to choose a whom, daring to choose a what, daring to ask ourselves, does it work great for those we aim to help? And where is that heading in the big ocean-like waves of change? Who are you in this and what do you want to become? AND who cares about having those problems solved well in a way that will get you and them there?
There is likely a third more effort, cost, and risk than you perceive and accept. Are you holding space for this? If not, is it worth pursuing?
Peer pressure during our school years often leads to groupthink, causing us to lose our identity in the quest to fit in.
Growing up, for me, it rarely led to anyone's elevation. Instead, it taught me to hide and remain within the margins.
However, the right kind of pressure, combined with a peer, cohort, any group of choice or a mentor's keen observation, can profoundly impact. When we and those we care about hold us accountable for our actions and words, helps us see what we said we would and show us our wants. It helps us to stand up for our beliefs consistently in what we do and say.
You become a reflection of the company you keep.
You directly mirror the expectations of your peer group. You're not a tree. You can find new places and new groups without moving, yet not without reflecting on your time, and efforts and owning your behaviour
EVERYTHING you do in your work is, from other people's perspectives, a movable part. Are you designing with that in mind? Are you rearranging what others hold fixed?
It's a wonderfully powerful constraint if embraced, yet often we're surprised by it.
thinking out loud on how do you approach thinking about the unthinkable? Measuring the unmeasurable? if discipline is a journey of discomfort and joy, how do we improve? if doubt and a wavering mind are the opposite of discipline how could "that what if" help those you serve? is it thus a feeling? if we choose to be resolute in our behaviour it looks a lot like discipline When working its important we embrace data, metrics, and predictions AND what's hard to measure, quantify, and touch ourselves. for example when conducting due diligence for our systems, we must consider operations, cybersecurity, privacy by design, AI, sustainability, scalability, costs, and robustness. Equally important is the well-being of the people we serve and those who operate and maintain our systems for their intended purpose. What can be backed up by metrics, code, and documentation? and what is hard to measure yet still needs to be translated into disciplined execution to serve its intended outcome. As always I don't know and love hearing your thoughts on this. Below is an image intended to show that you always have your digital twin permanently everywhere and it's impossible to know or measure all it's being used for. Generated by leonardo.ai by some nudges by me
Dimensions, Dials and Dashboards
What actions and results are they intended to make likley outside of themselves and for whoms benefit?
Who matters to you and what do they care about?
If you reflect on it you will quickly see results that matter to them. Results that open doors, eyes and opportunitites for them.
What are you going to do now that you see it?
Are you making space for restorative hobbies? Someting just for you.
It affects your professional behaviour more than you know.
Also - are sometimes making your professional behaviour mixed up with your hobby, forgetting that as a professional its not about you. Its now about what you let OTHERS get from engaging with your work.
Whenever I get into imposters syndrome I've mixed these two up.
I've made it about me too much, whenever I remind myself of those I'm really doing this for (others) its suddenly easeir to do that hard work again.
Let yourself have hobbies, and also let your hobby be part of you work.
Just dont let it get in the way of actually leveling up in a way that serves your people better.
And most importantly. Let yourself have space for hobbies that is just for you and friends without a "meaningful specific" with a deadline, ourcome, point...
Those around you dont need to "get" or understand your hobbie. This is something you do for just you. I believe we all need this.
We all also need to put ourselves on the line for those we care. Thats the professional behaviour that yields results that matter. Its full of state of play, yet lets not mix this up with a hobbie just because we're having fun at work.
A small mental exercise to see who you want around you and what skills and behaviour you yourself want to bring to their table and thus yours.
if you dont have time to listen to this eposide the friendly autobot gave us this summary of whats within.
the idea of center points in our lives, visualizing these as circles we create around us, which are indicative of our balance and direction. In any situation, it's important to take responsibility for your center point; if you lose sight of it, you lose balance. Owning your center point means owning your decisions and actions, as well as the resulting effects and emotions.
always, we have multiple center points, representing the different roles and directions we project in life. By firmly embracing your core (visualized here as your left foot), you open up opportunities to help others, expanding your circles and deepening your impact. The right foot, on the other hand, symbolizes empathy for others, specifically the people we aim to assist or serve.
Feedback from others can help refine your center points. However, it's crucial to ensure the feedback is relevant to your context and doesn't disrupt your balance. Furthermore, recognizing the direction and curvature of your path can lead to better navigation of life's complexities.
Ultimately, this understanding and acceptance of your center points, combined with empathy, responsibility, and a willingness to play and adapt, allows for effective navigation through life's challenges. Embrace the intricate dance of life, remaining aware of your center points and your impacts on others. This approach helps build stronger relationships and fosters success, whether in personal or professional spheres.
the audio from this episode is autosummarized to the below in case you want to skip listening to this episode
Actionability, or the ability to take concrete steps based on information or insights, is crucial in all communication, whether it's writing a text message, an email, or a report. When you write something, it's not just about sharing data, but also about providing actionable insights, steps that the reader can take based on that data.
Also, it's essential to consider the potential consequences of your communication. Sometimes, communication is more about plausible deniability than genuine actionability, but being aware of this can help you communicate more effectively.
When dealing with data, it's not only about gathering it but about interpreting it and determining the next best actions. Whether the data suggests potential risks or rewards, it should guide informed decision-making.
Writing clear and concise emails or messages helps recipients understand the actions they need to take. It's also crucial to consider the perspective and needs of the person who will be acting on the information you're providing.
Data-driven decision-making is critical, but it's equally important to realize that not all data is equally valuable at all times. Some data might be outdated, while other data might be too recent to provide reliable trends. Therefore, we must be discerning about which data we use to guide our decisions.
Moreover, remember that the data we keep has potential actionability for others too, including malicious actors. That's why cybersecurity measures are vital. Regularly cleaning up data that isn't needed can improve performance and decrease risks.
Lastly, actionability isn't just about data and metrics, but also about learning and personal growth. When you read a book or learn something new, try to extract actionable insights. Aim to transform the knowledge you gain into steps you can take to better yourself or assist others.
Input and metrics alone wont help long.
Reflect on timeless services, commodities, and respect solving hard relevant problems, improve skillsets, and reduce waste - easier said than done
thinking out loud on timeless services and commodities and how we each play a role in both.
Please reflect on the importance of respect for others and self, a cornerstone of enduring and valuable services, and an element of the 'infinite game' we're all part of. Punctuality and consideration for other people's time are among the timeless traits that reinforce respect and its something that doesnt require anything to embrace.
We also delve into the role of intentionality in our services, the delicate balance between effort and intention, and the critical follow-up on whether our actions benefited those we intended to help. We argue that these qualities, while often overlooked, don't require significant skill, but a change in attitude.
The podcast also explores the evolving landscape of commodities, those skills and services that anyone, or even a bot, can perform, which risk becoming obsolete with time. We emphasize the need for continual learning and adaptability to maintain relevance in a rapidly changing world.
By asking probing questions, we challenge you to identify the timeless qualities and skills that you consider essential and those that may become irrelevant in the future. As we navigate this tension between the timeless and the transient, we learn to value efficiency, minimize waste, and maximize our collective potential.
Remember, the work that truly matters is not always the work that looks important. Our challenge is to invest in work that genuinely matters, for people who genuinely care. As you consider your journey, reflect on the balance between the timeless and the transient, and never stop striving to solve the problems you genuinely care about for people who really benefit longterm from it.
That work will keep being important.
As you prepare for your upcoming vacation, reward yourself with the selection of a captivating book. Forget the "to-do" list books that's been gathering dust; instead, let your choice be something purely for your pleasure. Your capacity to read and absorb not only enhances your personal life but also seeps into every aspect of your professional growth. As our world accelerates, the need to adapt and evolve with increasing speed becomes vital, and reading provides the perfect avenue for this evolution. Resist relying on the recommendations of algorithms; take charge of your own intellectual journey. Challenge yourself to elevate in the areas that truly matter, but remember to relish the pure, simple joy that comes from reading just for fun.
if you want to save time instead of listening. Here's a autosummary from the generous bot:
Most of us have better agency than we embrace in working to position ourselves for our favorite game for people who care about what we care about.
The speaker discusses the challenges and opportunities presented by the information age, driven by computer technology and machine learning. They argue that despite potential distractions from the digital world, it's essential to recognize and take control of our personal agency, emphasizing that external factors only account for a small part of our distractions. The speaker then addresses the importance of adaptability, empathy, and a growth mindset in this evolving digital landscape, while also cautioning against surrendering too much to technology. They argue that using machine learning tools effectively requires incorporating one's unique perspective and insights, and not relying solely on the machine’s outputs. Lastly, they stress the significance of clear specifications and understanding the people we serve in a world where tasks and roles are constantly changing.
The speaker discusses the increasing complexity and distractions of the digital age, emphasizing that only a small portion is external, while the majority comes from within. It is highlighted that willpower is not finite, and we can exercise greater internal control to manage distractions.
The speaker further stresses the importance of creating value for others to achieve personal success, and finding balance in serving multiple stakeholders.
In the context of "hive compute" and disinformation, the importance of adaptability, maintaining focus, and developing effective workflow systems is emphasized. The speaker suggests that machine learning could help manage tools and information, yet warns against over-reliance on it, promoting personal input and understanding.
Join Seth Godin as we are talking about boardgames and how we can help kids, including that kid we all have inside us, by helping others level up in ways they want to repeat.
I really recommend you check out his newest book
The Song of Significance: A New Manifesto for Teams
https://seths.blog/Song
Transcription of our conversation to save you time if you don’t have time for a listen.
Ric Thank you Seth for coming here. I'm humbled to have you with us.
Seth Oh, you're a leader, you show up on the regular, you're so generous in the way you've coached and help people for pleasure.
Ric Thank you, Seth. That’s mutual. I've learned from you and your books to just dare. Before I got older I was afraid of tension and the conflict there in and your way of leading helped me to realize that tension is actually helpful and the only path forward and I'd love to talk some about that.
Seth Terrific, terrific. I mean, when we're talking about tension, people don't always understand. The simplest example I can give you if I […………]
I only paused for three seconds, maybe two, but it was still uncomfortable. That's a form of tension. It's not a physical thing. It's a way that we want completion to occur. We're wondering what's going to happen next.
Industrialism has pushed us to want to relieve tension, and just get the memo done, meeting over with, the quarterly numbers in. But in fact, creativity always involves tension.
Ric So right and again, now I fight daily embracing that instead of hiding from it because I want to fill that with the short term instead of reminding myself of the long term. And here, I struggle with figuring out how to help kids. I'm a board gamer and a computer gamer and I played a lot of role playing games. And I quite often sit as a leader of a meeting and realize - playing these games taught me so much to figure out what needs to happen here.
Why aren't they paying attention to what matters?
Whenever you talk about games, like Cosmic Encounter (a boardgame), or how you learn things from video games - its so good to hear.
When did you start playing board games? Because you do talk about that every now and then
Seth Well, I don't know if you know, but I'm friends with Peter co-creator of Cosmic Encounter. So yeah, so I know royalty. I probably started playing board games when I was five or six.
I think it's very important to establish early on two things. One, like music, there's taste in board games. Just because you don't like some board games doesn't mean you don't like all board games. And number two, what goes to that is, forgive me, but there's good board games, and there's bad board games. And there are a lot of bad board games. You know, I grew up with Monopoly. Monopoly a bad board game. And there are a lot of ways that I explain why it's bad. Chutes and Ladders is a bad board game where you're just rolling dice and using luck to magnify it all the way around.
On the other hand, Rock Paper Scissors RoShamBo is an excellent game. The rules are super simple, you can play it at many levels of depth, etc.
I was a game designer in the early 1980s. I pride myself on doing game design still to this day. Not always on a board, not always with dice. Sometimes in the way of businesses designed, it's still a game. And for me, games are a set of rules.
A way for individuals to bring intent to the table to see how their intent interacts with other people's intent when exposed to the rules.
Business is at its best when rules are clear and are about serving your constituents. But the play is not clear. Which is why we do business now totally differently than we did 20 years ago. Because people get better at playing the game.
Ric Thinking absolut when we see the rules and understand the rules. One of the headlines for your current book is “Let's get real, or let's not play” and the earlier we can understand that you play around a rule set that I don't want to play around or that I nor you can succeed in when we play together the better both of us are.
Do you want to segway over to that?
Seth Yes what does the phrase let's get real or let's not play mena and there is a great book with that title. That's not my book. That book is about selling. In that book, what they're arguing is that if you're doing a complicated multimillion dollar B2B sale, you're not going to make it by hustling people. You're going to make it by engaging with them to solve their problem. And if they don't want their problem solved, don't go on a sales call, right? Let's get real about why we're both here. I am not doing this to you. I'm doing this with you.
My book, The Song of significance takes us to a different level and says: look at work, we're here to make a change happen. If you just want an industrial job, where you take something from this box and put it in that box, go work over there. That's not what we do here. What we do here is we make a change happen. And there are a bunch of mutual commitments we need to make about how we will play that game with each other for each other, to get to where we're going. And what's happened at work, is we've enabled industrialism to creep in, and we pretend that's what we're doing. But what we're really doing is ordering people to do what we want. And I think we need to talk about it.
Ric Yes and the better we become a talking about it and having empathy that it's hard to be a middle manager right now being told to play by one rule set yet being followed up on another rule set.
It goes back to board games. If you can realize that some people at this table want to play Monopoly, but you don't. The earlier you can have that conversation, the better off you all are.
I'm always, as a grown up who is often in conversations with kids asking myself - What am I teaching whom right now here?
For example, what happens when we remove the dice from the game, suddenly, it's a very different game, and different skill sets being taught that is still play that are also very beneficial when we're talking to people reading people, understanding people, but also, everyone needs to have fun.
So if we're forcing someone to play a game that they find too complicated, or too scary, or whatever, they're not going to come back next time we invite them to play. Right? This is exactly the same for work outcomes.
Seth Brilliant, and the key word you just said his invite, right?
That part of the mindset of capitalism is you got to work or you're going to starve to death. So there's not an invitation there. Part of the mindset of compulsory education is you got to go to school, or your parents go to jail. So those are not enrolled activities. Great work, great learning comes where people are enrolled in the journey.
We have to figure out how to create the conditions for people to decide that that's what they want.
Ric Yes, and continuing with role playing, for example, as a Game Master. The stories my childhood friends still tell others about today (we are all still very close friends) is where they were part of the story, of making the story, of creating the story. They weren't necessarily the heroes of the story.
But it wasn't my story. I was just giving them a direction and creating a collaborate space for them and thus they turned it into their story. And support for the work, we do emotional work we need to do
Seth Exactly, and you know, so it's interesting when we think about role playing games, how badly they've been pigeonholed for a certain group of nerdy kids when in fact our life is a role playing game.
The people who seem to get the most out of our lives are the ones who are the authors of that journey, as opposed to simply characters in it.
Ric Yes and goes back to my previous fear of tension where I was reacting versus daring to proactively help people. Another lesson I learned from you, maybe 30 years ago was meaningful specific and small data. When I began my consulting career, 30 years ago, before buzzwords like big data, and stuff like that everyone was hungry for more data. And then I read a post from you realizing how could I not see this for myself? You need to be intentionally meningsfull specific, embracing small data
Do you want to share some thoughts on that?
Seth No, you please. You read it more recently than I did. Go ahead and riff.
Ric it is about what's the purpose? What's the intention? What's the small action to commit to here instead of having too big targets, big actions that are too vague. I've also been coaching in your Akimbo workshops where it's like we ask ourselves: “Did it work?” where it's “you don't write a long thing and then think you can plaster it everywhere” you write a small thing for a specific funnel that buys permission to invite those you aim to help read another small thing that eventually will help them get to where they want to go.
Seth Right. So I think what they all adds up to is choosing to be on the hook. This goes back to the board game thing. Which is when you are playing certain kinds of board games, there is no doubt who is in charge of your pieces. It's you. It's not a group of people where you're just doing what you're told. You moved that piece. Well, if you write a piece of copy, and people didn't respond, you wrote the copy, and people didn't respond. That is really useful information. Whereas if 14 people are in a room for six months and come up with some crafted statement, that means nothing. And it doesn't do anything. We don't know who rolled those dice. We don't know who's on the hook, and therefore it won't improve. Because we need to understand that we're getting real, we're playing this game, we have a change we seek to make, are we going to do it or not?
Ric Yeah, totally. And also, on the big data thing, it's always easier to go looking for more things to add versus going small and asking ourselves ”did it work?” putting ourselves on the hook, as you say.
We're also living in a very fast-moving world. Something that piqued my interest that you talked about just now is learning from the edges, being willing to go to the edges, and learn and then teach others.
Seth Well, so I'm struggling for a boardgame analogy, I'm not sure I have one here. So let's put that aside for a minute. The frontier, the edges, the places where the nerds, the people with problems, the folks who are seeking to make change happen is the juiciest most interesting place.
Because I have no doubt that it is vitally important that the people in the water department at my town get fresh, clean water to my house. But that's a Six Sigma problem. And the only way to succeed is to make it a little tiny bit cheaper than you did yesterday. And that work needs to be done. I am not minimizing it. We can't live without it. But it doesn't have to be done by you.
The problem with industrial work, where the only way to win is to be a little faster and a little cheaper, is you spend your day running on a treadmill. It's hard to feel truly significant. When you're not making change happen when you're not feeling like you're on the hook. It's harder to be respected is harder to find the thrill of looking forward to tomorrow.
As we enter this post-industrial age what we're hearing from people who have enough to eat who have a roof over their head is that what they miss in their life is significance is knowing that they did something that they alone could contribute to. The only place to find that work is on the edges.
Now they don't have to be the giant edges of launching a mission to Jupiter, it could be the edge of here's this patient, she just found out she has high blood pressure, she has never had this problem before. In the next five minutes, the tone of her future is going to be set. What is that interaction like? If you're just going to read it from a card, you're probably not showing up as a human.
But if you can see the pain in that person's eyes, and you can figure out how to offer that person solace. Well, then you've done something significant.
Ric Yeah, and that is something we all can choose to do.
Seth Right
Ric But it is scary. But putting yourself on the line there to actually invite having that conversation or fighting to have the margin for five minutes for listening.
Seth Right. Exactly.
Ric I feel bad for bringing us back to boardgames after such an important topic.
Seth Please do.
Ric One example there is our garage is full of board games that I bought that didn't become ”something our friends play for 20 years”. But I also I am the one in in my friends group that come with something new. Let's try this. And one out of 20 is something we keep playing for that long that yet most aren't. I enjoy trying those rules playing out and experimenting with them but with the intent that most of them won't get used. Anyone listening to this. This is the same thing for a software and automation, making time for having conversations. Not all of them was going to work out. And but it's exactly the same with board games.
Seth Yes. Well said and you know, the people who are passionate about a hobby go into it knowing they're not going to be right every time. Same thing is true with music and with music, we solve the problem by inventing the radio station. We haven't figured out how to make a radio station for board games.
Ric I would love that.
We do have something for our computer game players. There it's a lot easier because there you have it on STEAM that you can buy something as an early developer or a complete game and then you can refund it.
So there it's starting to move, it's easy to try things early on the edges.
And you Seth for example, with Carbon Almanac - you have a board game there. And you have the PDFs on line, so you can taste it, chew a bit, and then I want more, or you can say no, not me, not right now.
Seth Exactly
Ric And with 3d printing and board games moddig as well, soon that might be easy outside the edges there too.
But again, when you're talking about real life problems, and having that emotional work, it feels so bad bringing up board games. But if we can invite the kids to dare to experiment, to learn new rules. To reposition fast and easy when they realized what worked well for a previous game didn't work here.
Seth Yeah. And you know, a couple of times, you've mentioned kids, kids is a chronological thing, but it's also a choice. And I act like a kid on a good day. That's my goal, act like a kid. And why wouldn't we want to do that?
Ric I'm with you. I think we all have that inner child. And when we see it, accept it and encourage it, good things follow. Both when my kid connects to your kid Seth good things follow. But also, if we can learn to see things 20 years before we need to show up for work, for fun, because we get enrolment with our friends having fun. Why not? That is making life better for people I believe.
Seth Yeah
Ric I love to play a lot of board games with kids today, but I also play Minecraft and those kinds of games too. And something you also talk a lot about is coming together as a community to solve system problems. And kids do this today in Minecraft. I remember being a computer player meeting other computer game player. When I was a teenager and starting to work. We were kind of nerds and a bit ashamed of it. And then 10 years later. It was something something you put it put on your resume to illustrate that you helped elevate, teach work, automate stuff. I'm so curious to see what happens with the kids growing up having that experience from Minecraft.
Seth Yeah. And a shout out to Cory Doctorow and his book Makers. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it. It's about communities of nerds coming together to play a game in real life that transforms the whole world.
Ric Yes! I like that book and the book Walkaway and I pre-ordered his Red Team Blues
Seth Yes. exactly
Ric I want to read that and look forward to it. We can take what we get and make it better this modding that goes on in both board games and in cyber game. That mindset for works. It's awesome.
Seth Yes, exactly. Well said.
Ric But it can also be a bit much I know you've said a few times that you are mildly distracted. And I'm asking for myself now.
Because I am like that and you have spoken for the need to put on blinders. So what is your advice, to stay on course and to dare to do the work?
Seth Well back to the idea of the let's get real. People who are easily distracted don't seem that easily distracted when they're middle of a game they really are enjoying. So pick the game properly. And that is the discipline of my career is if I am in a game that I keep finding myself distracted from I'm probably in a game that is not ideal for me.
Part of the work of me being a professional is to pick a game that I can inhabit in a way that makes me feel more alive, not less. And I think that anyone who has the technological and economic privilege to be listening to this is in a similar situation. Pick a game. A real life game, a professional game, a game where you get paid. That's the right game for you.
Ric Yeah, and if I can add to that also learning from you is also what do you want to become better at quite recently, that you could have chosen to become great at writing Twitter posts. Instead you choose to become a long form writer or something like that? And I think having that insight that, what am I building here? What am I training myself in here? Is something we must darr Ask ourselves recurringly. Any thoughts on that?
Seth Well, I mean, it, it turned out in retrospect that that was a really good choice on my part. But the purpose of that blog post was to point out that most people didn't bother to make the choice. Most people thought, oh, I can be really good at Twitter, and really good at medium and really good at having a blog, and Facebook and LinkedIn. So I'll just do everything because that's what these companies want me to do. And I said, it's extremely unlikely that in the time I have available for these tasks, I can get really good at all five of them. So I'm just going to put up a wall and not even do three of them, not even at all. And by doing that, I forced myself to spend the time playing a few games as opposed to be mediocre to a lot. And it's so easy to succumb to social pressure. And to say, Nope, I'm on Facebook, because I have to be, well, actually, you don't
Ric Im totally with you that it was a great choice. And I'm grateful for that because I learned so much from your blog. But I think most are missing another important point.
And that is that the platform's control so much, but if you create something that's yours, you can learn, you can change, you can adapt. Versus if you're creating something following that tension of the plattforms nurges. that thing you should be, you need to be everywhere you need to be here. Then someone else controls what happens if they change or they decommission or upgrade or install or do premium, or whatever.
Seth Yes
Ric So having something that's yours, I think that is really powerful and really important.
Seth Yes!
Ric And speaking of which, I love your books. I wholeheartedly remember, I think I read audiobooks. You were really there for me when I started work in the early 90s. And now you have something new coming out that I want everyone to check out. Do you have any words before we wrap this up?
Seth Well, the book is called The Song of significance. And it's personal, not just personal to me, but personal to each person who I've written it for. And what I'm arguing is that work isn't working. And then when we think about the best job we ever had, the way it made us feel alive the way we were able to bring more to it the way we felt a sense of meaning and importance. I want to understand why we aren't building more jobs like that. I want to understand what kind of commitment do we need to make to each other to our co workers, to our bosses to our employees, to permit us to get beyond being a cog in the system. And I learned a lot from honeybees in researching this book, honey bees are basically a human brain inside out. Each bee is a neuron. And when we watch how honey bees make choices, when we watch the lifecycle of the hive, we learned an enormous amount. And on the back cover, the bucket says the purpose of a hive isn't to make honey. Honey is the byproduct of a healthy hive. And I think when we think about our work, the same thing is true.
Ric What comes to me when you say that it's also instead of looking at a goal, look at a habit that might produce the goal. Because you need to show up for the habits that might produce the goal. You need to practice, and you need to learn by real feedback.
Seth exactly, and the last story in the book, is something I know you and I share.
It's about the Wizard of Oz. And basically one of the lessons we can learn there are a bunch but one of the lessons we learned is that the Tin Man, the Scarecrow and the Cowardly lion, were not compelled to go on the journey with Dorothy, they volunteered to go on the journey.
They went on the journey, because helping each other to get to where each wanted to go was a choice. It was in enrolment, it was a game they wanted to play.
When we say to people, you have to show up at the Zoom meeting, we're taking attendance or you're fired. When we say to people, you have to do this, you have to do this, you have to do this because I need to control you. Suddenly the voluntary nature of the game goes away.
The goal of significant work is to have a goal is to say we are all seeking to do this together. These are the rules. How do we bring a certain sort of energy with us to do it? So the goal of the song of significance itself the book is to give people who give me the benefit of the doubt a tool that they can bring to work that they can bring to their co-workers and say let's all read this So that's gonna take us two hours, and then decide if we want to get real. Because if we can rewire the rules of work, we can make magic happen.
Ric And a better culture a better workplace a more fun way to help as well
Seth exactly
Ric A meaningful way to help. And, I read in your draft of this book that you talked about, what if we didn't have meetings for a week instead you did things you're proud of? Would you want to repeat that?
That is again putting yourself on the hook.
Seth Right
Ric We need to create that because people who just comply and do what they're told will never be able to reach their potential for how good they could be in service for what they care about.
Seth Exactly right. Well said,
Ric I would love to hear you talk about the broomstick and how myself I've fallen prey to that mistake so many times in my life.
Seth Oh me too.
That's why it resonates with me. So the key turning point in the movie is and I actually did the computer game version based on Frank Baum's original books.
I have studied the Wizard of Oz in great detail. The movie is very different from the books in really interesting ways. In the movie the key moment is when Dorothy shows up for the first time. And the wizard says “if you bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West I will send you home”. What we know is that the wizard didn't need a broomstick. He said it so that Dorothy would go away and not come back. And often in our lives, people send us out for a broomstick. We're making a B2B sales call. And someone says, Yeah, but do you have a spreadsheet showing baba, baba, baba?
We go get that thinking that if we bring it back, they'll say yes. No, they just wanted us to go away.
So what we need to understand is, is this a broomstick problem? Or is this real? Is this something that we're doing because people have a checklist and they're just trying to move on or is it because it matters? When I was busy helping to invent the first generation of internet media, people sent me out for broomsticks all the time. And I really felt like if I just collected enough broomsticks, we would be fine. And in fact, what I learned from the let's get real or let's not playbook is you can turn right back to the wizard and say “do you really need a broomstick? Because if you really need a broomstick, help me understand why. if not, let's get to work.”
Ric Yeah, and I still get goosebumps hearing that story and for those of you who don't know. With Akimbo workshops I think I've been in 100 or so zoom calls with Seth.
And EVERY time he talks about that with our students, I get goosebumps.
But also, that we receive it for what it is, because it doesn't have to be that they just want you to go away consciously. It might also be that that's their excuse. Unconsciously, they're asking you for things. So we need to have empathy with them, but also help ourselves see, this is a detour that isn't serving either of us.
Seth Yes, brilliant.
Ric The earlier we can do that the better conversations we can have, right? I want to be mindful of your time though. Thank you again for joining us today talking about boardgames, play and creating significance together.
Seth Ric, these are great questions and your contributions as coach, as student, as a leader, just such a privilege to know you. Thank you.
Ric Thank you. Likewise, sir. I'm honoured.
its still about doing work that you and those you serve wants repeated
- In healthy organizations, leaders take responsibility for the system and people take responsibility for their actions. * In unhealthy organizations, leaders blame the people, and the people blame the system
above quote is helping me take ownership of making this better for those around me. Helping give others pre-requirements they need to succeed on whats important for them AND those our we together serve.
Below was generated by an helpful autobot for those who want to save time with a quick read instead of listening
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The speaker talked about that work is a pivotal aspect of our lives and greatly influences our emotions. If we engage in work that we take pride in, tasks that we willingly do for the people we serve, and jobs that allow us to see the significance of our contributions to the larger organization, optimism comes naturally. This perspective can be a potent antidote to professional burnout.
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Today, it's simpler than ever be part of someone's work output firsthand. You can engage someone for a short, well-defined project, paying them in full. This gives them tangible experience that they can apply to their next job - it's not a tactic to exploit free labor from interns.
After you've collaborated with someone, you'll have a clear idea if they're someone you'd like to work with long-term. Conversations about work don't equate to actual work. An interview, for example, is an artificial construct that doesn't capture the reality of doing a job like programming.
Collaborating on tasks is a different ballgame compared to merely discussing work. Just as you may love your friends, it doesn't necessarily mean you'd want to engage them in a substantial professional commitment.
Once they AND you have fulfilled the commitment you both agreed upon, if they performed well, invite them to take on more tasks. If not, you can assign them different tasks that promote learning while still contributing to your projects.
Adopting Peter Drucker's philosophy of treating everyone you meet as a volunteer can foster a positive mindset. Remember to always pay fairly - avoid requesting free samples, as this might deter the talented individuals you wish to collaborate with. It's crucial to uphold ethical practices and not exploit those who are eager to learn, earn, and grow.
- By clearly understanding our unique contributions, we can better prioritize our work tasks. We also learn to let go of those tasks that may not get done, acknowledging that it's okay not to complete everything.
Positive stress arises when we're dealing with important issues that we are capable of and eager to change. On the other hand, negative stress surfaces when we feel powerless or when we're handling inconsequential tasks - tasks that might merely serve to declutter someone else's mind rather than add real value.
The speaker believes that work is an essential part of life and the way we view our contributions to the organization can significantly impact our optimism and reduce burnout. It is important to prioritize tasks that matter for those we serve and having the insights why it also matter to our own skillset development. its often thee biggest difference between positive stress (when a task is important and changeable) and negative stress (when a task is unchangeable or insignificant).
The speaker emphasizes that it's not the individual's fault if they struggle with setting boundaries or prioritizing tasks correctly. As a leader, it's crucial to provide the necessary support for individuals to thrive. If an individual fails, the organization should bear the responsibility rather than blaming the individual.
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The speaker provides practical advice about the benefits of distributed work. These include the ability to evaluate someone's work through short projects and making hiring decisions based on real experience rather than just interviews. The speaker also advocates for fair pay and ensuring that the team's average output doesn't decrease with increased hiring.
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The speaker mentions potential dangers of distributed work, like facing global competition and the risk of fraudulent candidates. He suggests that asynchronous ways of working are beneficial in distributed setups, implying that traditional methods with a boss dictating meeting schedules might become obsolete.
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The speaker mentioning the environmental benefits of distributed work, such as reduced commuting and fewer flights for meetings. He also notes the importance of listening, knowledge management, and improving onboarding speed in this work arrangement.
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We can only accommodate new clients if we let go of old ones. Present your best ideas to your boss/client; if they don't support them, consider invest more effort for some who will. Those who aren't adaptable will eventually be replaced by those who are.
Remember Horstman's Law: You're not as clever as you think, and others aren't as foolish. Always validate your ideas and keep track of your achievements.
For me, protecting your team looks like this:
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Encourage regular updates to their LinkedIn profiles. * Stay at a job only if it's the best place to work. * Help them keep their doors open for new opportunities. * If I'm not fostering an environment where people want to stay, I need to take responsibility and act quickly. * Don't stay in a job just because you can't find a better one; stay because the work itself is rewarding. * Value knowledge management, recurringly on your calendar and prio. * Listen to your team. * Make onboarding processes more efficient. * Encourage experimentation. * Retain staff over the long term only because they genuinely want to stay. * And remember, we owe it to our planet to reduce commuting and unnecessary air travel for meetings and presentations. Let's make the most of our digital connections.
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In today's digital age, when you're merely a thumbnail on someone's Skype, Microsoft Teams, or Zoom call, global hiring becomes effortless. As a result, you inevitably find yourself competing with a worldwide pool of talent, not just the local ones. For certain types of jobs, this global competition has been a reality for quite some time.
As remote work becomes prevalent, so does the risk of encountering imposters. With the increasing importance of a robust body of work, it's easier for individuals to masquerade as your ideal candidate, perhaps by displaying a highly proficient GitHub account with the intent of securing internal access to your system. Similarly, fake recruiters can exploit those who are desperately seeking employment. The remote landscape calls for extra caution and stringent verification processes.
Flow before filter. Since out previous episode was on "flow and distractions and position yourself for your favorite game" It felt like a natural follow up with this and some notes on the importance of your "Inbetween worlds" and the Hive Computer.
Those who see and those who dont. Right know you are living in so many paralell worlds you are unaware of.
Do you see?
Take some time to reflect about the things you create, who you create them for, and the reasons behind your creations. Pay attention to your focus, effort, and recurring patterns.
What kind of work would your coworker identify as having your touch on it? What improvements would they recognize as being made by you? On the other hand, what kind of work would your coworker instinctively know that you did not write or contribute to? Including what parts of their work, feelings and results would they miss your contributions in? In a simplified way. Whats your manifesto? You dont need to write it down but thinking about it helps you see your own postion clearer. I credit these three for creating my methods teaching me what I see in 2022 the Agile Manifesto discussion forums, in 2005 The Manager-Tools podcast and Hostmans Law together with also in 2005 the Security Now podcast Who do you credit for helping you see what matters? And what did you add to that mix for those you serve?
Some thoughts on your Decisions and Experiments from a duration perspective. You decide what bus to get on, and not and for how long and when its no longer a time for waiting. You decide where to wait for the bus, and not.
Where experiments go to die or fly. When it should no longer be an experiement, instead honored as should be in production. where its helping your people regularly. Some thoughts on AB+J testing and especially duration... Dont run to many at one time then you dont know which can claim credit. Dont run to few at any one time either though.
You dont get time back, neither do they. Help those who give anyway at the edge of their skillset learning while giving it to others.
You dont get to do "now" or "tomorrow" all over again. So where and with whom do you want to invest your time and effort? Where do you want to be position yourself and others skillswise for the benefit of whom in a future Now?
Whats Next? An Intention and its Experiment of course with Inside out Career Design
I just had a great conversation with Nicola and Peter at Inside Out Career Design
its never to early or to late to start an experiment Inside Out Career Design can be found here http://whatsnext.com/17 Passphrase Manager https://bitwarden.com Multifactor App Authenticators https://www.microsoft.com/security/mobile-authenticator-app
https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/1066447
Understand what game you are playing and dont go for fancy tactical moves sacrificing effort and learning serving people here and now. Here and now is the better way to learn what works and what doesnt for the people who care. Often the fancy tactics is just a form of hiding, and often you loose time to the alternatice cost of showing up today, in the precent for those who already care.
And some business and chess talk just to illustrate the point in how little can give so much for someone you care about.
Seth Godin, Boardgames, Showing up on the regular & leading together Are you showing up on the regular for those you serve? Choose a game that you are not often distracted from.
Whats worth being sticky to you and for what and whom? Whats sticky around you that you dont think enough on right now? On some small level most uf us understand that the internet never forgets and that algorithms can push us to extremes. Yet we dont embrace how powerful a force this is for both greatness and levelup AND pulling us back into the rabithole again and again.
What am I stalling because Im afraid?
Whats the promise to make now, to whom
Welcome to Results and Relationships
Today some thoughts on data-driven illusions and how they can impact our lives.
With my 29 years of experience as a consultant in the data information analytics & cyber protection industry, I'm often been asked questions about data-driven decisions.
What I think isn't being said often enough is that we should dare to discuss our vulnerabilities. We should talk about what we don't know and what controls us, as it's often the case that we don't fully understand our metrics or the connection between business outcome vulnerabilities.
Additionally, I'm very interested in cybersecurity, but we often don't have a strategy for how to best work with it. Decisions are made on a daily basis with legacy systems that we don't fully understand, thus the full implications of these decisions. As a result, we make compromises that can have long-lasting repercussions.
Whether you are building something right now or not, it's important to consider the data-driven illusions that are impacting your decisions. Likewise dont let your hunger for more data stop you from shipping right now.
What's not being said is that we have to dare to bring up our vulnerabilities and what we don't know. We don't fully understand our metrics and the connections between them and business outcomes.
We also need to talk about cybersecurity and how to strategize around it. We often have to make decisions on outdated systems, which can be a challenge. This leads to a lot of compromises.
Even if you're starting a new project, you need to be mindful of the data-driven illusions and vulnerabilities involved. Dare to talk about what you don't know and take steps to protect your business outcomes.
Today I share an answer I did for a friend’s question on our Voxer group earlier today. Another friend suggested I should give you my esteemed listener into this part of me.
The “real-life part of me” so to say – where I don’t have the tension of the microphone, thinking out out loud and slow answering a friend’s prompt.
Whats my source of great results & healthy relationships and some answers on my thoughts on religious belief
before attaching it though, here is a summary of my audio that a third friend made for us, very slightly edited by myself for this podcast
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BELIEVE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, work hard on letting go what doesn’t
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Stories are powerful, but Truth is never pure and easy.
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In our "narrative", we tend to simplify things to remove the more painful parts. We then choose our stories over Truth.
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YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF YOUR TIME, EFFORT, ENERGY, and your relationships.
Those around you dont get you angry. You choose you who surround yourself with after seeing their pattern. Then you made yourself angry all on your own.
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I don't see the world as it is, I see the world as I interpret it.
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"stories are my source."
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Anti – Thesis. Dare to explore both, without it it’s not really a choice, you're just blindsiding yourself fooling yourself you made a choice.
Big credits to this great book for much of the thoughts in this episode
https://www.amazon.com/The-Big-Leap-Gay-Hendricks-audiobook/dp/B00282MRQI
Probability & Meaningful Specific
Are you questioning how the three core components of probability, meaning, and specificity can be applied to the work you do?
Are you looking at how these three aspects drive your decisions, both intentionally and unintentionally? Are you taking the time to consider what the biggest impact of your work is, and how the probability, meaning, and specificity of your decisions will affect the outcome? Are you willing to put in the extra effort to ensure that you have the right focus and clarity to make the best decisions possible and accept the consequences - both good and bad - of those decisions?
Are you asking questions about above three in what you to those around you?
Are you asking yourself what goes into the heart or mind into whatever action, intentional or not from those around you based on this trio?
Take a minute and ask yourself on the biggest thing in your work right now.
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Focusing on Probability - what shifts?
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in the meaning beyond the work you do - or asked to do?
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The specific - do you dare to make it small and specific enough so you can take credit if it works, or responsibility if it doesnt?
Quite often its scary to put ourselves on the line like this, but if we do dare, we learn faster and thus help others better
books mentioned:
Annie Duke - Thinking in bets https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-in-Bets-Annie-Duke-audiobook/dp/B078SBSBW3
machines are talking - are you listening?
I try to have these cast mostly timeless, and less timely but I’ve gotten so much machine-learning & AI questions lately and I thought I should share a perspective I don’t hear that often. Surely we’ve on a journey where each version have more and more data and being trained on the previous version. Making it very fast and scaringly biased.
The thing I believe we underestimate is the “Explain like talking to a five year old” combined with the relentlessness of machines and scripts.
For example with DISC we already tools like https://crystalknows.com that helps you adapt your message to the individual to make it easier for the recipient to understand what you’re trying to say. We have already since long trusted https://grammarly.com that there is a better way of saying this than what we wrote.
Now we can have our email to ten people be automatically rewritten in transport to the sugsegment of those groups. Perhaps this time it created three copies and sent the one most maching the communication profile of the recipient. This will be so effective since it can also help you follow-up “did it work” making each interaction more effective for both of you.
It can help you stay in tune with the workculture. Perhaps help you with your priorities for better effect and outcome at work by not letting you send late night messages, or if you believe you have to let them arrive at your co-workers desk in the morning. Again these tools exist, however machinelearning make you never forget to match whats effective and appreciated by each recipient.
Likewise if you go into Red Alert mode a la Star Trek, the machinelearning mod can temporarily overwrite that to instant say before a launch or similar, following up on the costs of doing so for you. Or ensuring its automatically turned on again after the launch etc. Us humans take a long time forming new habits and can break them instantly. Tools like this can help us stay focused on what matter if we temporarily need a detour from our priorities by reminding us. OR forcing us to face that we’ve changed our mind and instead embrace another goal in mind with our habits etc.
I believe this will help but it’s a twosided sword. Not all is great with it. For example it will make it even easier to tailormake timely, relevant messages with ill intent that isn’t as easily caught by the systems trying to protect you, including your own perhaps because the message is referencing something timely your co-worker or supplier said that is related to you but you wouldn’t say that out but you’re already connected and profiled out there on the web. Next time you’re using tools like this.
Be mindful of your use of them. Listen for what you are training them ON – its not just that you’re getting help, it’s a win-win-win where you don’t see the third party ever.
sunc costs is nothing more than gifts from your former you to yourself in the present.
if you recieved it fresh today would you pick it up? Are you making your choice about today and tomorrow for those you serve, including yourself or are you making it about your history or ego?
Try the road less beaten
Books recommended in this cast in case you dont have time to listen.
The Midnight Library
https://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Library-Novel-Matt-Haig/dp/0525559477
How to decide https://www.amazon.com/How-Decide-Simple-Making-Choices/dp/B088P4XLVB
Embracing constraints can be a powerful tool to help us create better solutions. It is not the same as arguing for their limitations, which can be counterproductive and lead to stagnation. Instead, by understanding and accepting the boundaries of a situation, we are able to find creative and innovative solutions that can help us move forward. By accepting and understanding the limitations of a situation, we can challenge ourselves to come up with solutions that work within those limits, while still achieving the desired outcome.
As a computer person, you may find yourself using the command prompt and notepad often, because you appreciate the power of arguments and patterns to achieve certain outcomes. And you adapt quickly when a parameter is nerfed, removed or changed. When it comes to people, however, it is important to recognize that the same argument may not work each time. Instead of getting stuck in a loop of trying the same argument, or the same person try speaking out loud what might work, or why you might be wrong. By embracing constraints, you can find new and better ways to connect with people, rather than continuing to arguing in loops without connecting, or without finding other people to help that appreciate AND act on the help you provide.
The Spiral of Results & Relationships: What have you done and how well have you done it & and who cares deeply about it?
Great work is rewarded by more work. Who do you want to service so they're getting what?
Minding your relationships is a given. But have you given any thought to how much they affect your habits, your greenstreaks your levelups?
You have way more minutes in your day to day life available to you that you thing.
They are just easily given to distractions or just not thinking about it and thus not thinking about how much such minutes we all have every year.
Train a habit of start writing or adding to a project of your chose when you find yourself waiting for a meeting to start, or things are delayed and you have to wait. Instead of just "see what's new", give yourself the gift of having written a few sentence, made a notes on the next design etc or whatever you are creating.
Once you have a bigger block of time you have something to start from helping momentum alot.
Reminding us of that we will eventually runt short of minutes often helps see who and what accomplishments you will remember when you are 150 years old.
And yes, I believe you are living in the age where those you take care of themselves will live longer than those who don't.
just mere hundred years ago the average lifespan was 32 or something similar. Thinking of your future self will make you step up for what matters, and let go what doesn't.
But also in the short run.
Thinking about a deadline this week, and in case you need to reprioritize a day or two before that.
Where would you rather leave them if so?
Often reminding ourself of that we might run short of time preparing or doing what we should helps us see our accomplishments in a new light. often it also helps us see the one we are helping in another light as well.
Mind your minutes, its the most finite resource you have to give, and you will never get any wasted back (but perhaps a lesson learned but thats for another cast?)
Dont fool yourself. Describe to both yourself AND those you care about what you observe. You might not be as aware as you want to believe.
Embrace your passion but dont let that get in the way of embracing a smarter prediction
Who do you know that you can teach something right now?
Self doubt?
Depression?
Afraid of rejection?
Listen to those parts inside yourself - then please remind yourself about the alternative cost of the individual who might have benefitted if you did ship this today.
Perhaps asking yourself this helps? How can you
Make the steps smaller
Make the steps different
Make the who different
Stop listening to this podcast right now and call someone with a tip or just a listening caring ear.
You are more needed than you know, yet you might need to try something else to help.
The power of I dont know and default models around uncertainty & risk
We need to teach It's OK to say, "I don't know but I could look into it for you before friday" but also teach to separate uncertainty and risk.
likewise teach those around you that dubt and uncertainty is welcome. Its not to be feared but then as a leader we need to reward the effort and the bet in a decision, not just the outcome.
What is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth.
accepting and clearly stating I dont know when we dont, lend us credibility when we say we do and we will.
We also need to accept the really strong power of defaults for when its uncertain and risky. Dont just reward the positive choices.
For example in computing:
The power of default. if there is no specified models for for THIS server we just found on the network we make it a member of model X.
Dont build your I dont know on positive choices
for all X we do A for all Y we do B that will leave you with servers
same with following up incidents
same with following up leads
Only then can we ask ourselvese: "Did it work for its intended?"
or what happened? Scope creep? lack of courage? to much courage and to little data? or whats the lesson for next your next bet on the outcome that matters for the process you're working on?
embracing reality, theoriy, antithesis, experiments and data
It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, You need to re-learn what you think you know. Please work hard to surround yourself with people who live that mindset instead of behaving in other ways.
Makers Dance and rhythm of Real Feedback of those you help
You’re living and working in a circle; your work is never the end station. What you make is the steppingstone for other creations. Just like yours depend on those who’s created before you.
Learn to work with automations, machine learning models and other people in a healthy generous circle.
Book mentioned in this episode
Kevin-Kelly - The Inevitable - what technology wants
https://www.amazon.com/The-Inevitable-Kevin-Kelly-audiobook/dp/B01EB3OR32
Annie Duke - Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away
https://www.amazon.com/Quit-Power-Knowing-When-Walk/dp/B09PVR6YK5
Healthy Questions: what is Facts, assumptions, beliefs, whom is it for, what is it for & did it work?
Become better at solving bigger problems for people who see, care and can - 2h Keynote at Consultants Conference
Become better at solving bigger problems for people who see, care and can - 2h Keynote at Consultants Conference
You become the company you keep. Work hard to work WITH people who wants to solve hard problems together with you, rather than for you or in silos.
You become the company you keep. Work hard to work WITH people who wants to solve hard problems together with you, rather than for you or in silos.
Some thoughts about owning your posture, position & pattern
Looking for patthers that got you here instead of blaming other people
Owning your worth Ethics, your commitments
inentionally choosing to invest in people who care with their actions not just words
intentionall invest in yourself by doing things with a set date
Some thoughts about owning your posture, position & pattern
Looking for patthers that got you here instead of blaming other people
Owning your worth Ethics, your commitments
inentionally choosing to invest in people who care with their actions not just words
intentionall invest in yourself by doing things with a set date
Trident people, process and technology
this trio is so interesting in high performing organizations
for optimizing the triple point of people, process and technology.
its really a very circular motion, which each part stabilizing and increasing the effect out of the other two as the spire scale upwards.
Here's the link to a presentation I've done a few times on another set of 3:
confidentiality integrity and avilability when it comes to IT and organisations.
CIA - What IT gets to work with. Some thought on patters and priorities
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whx7YKt7PQc
Some great people and links mentioned in this episode
Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker
https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Oneself-Harvard-Business-Classics/dp/142212312X
all books by Cal Newport: outcome, timeblocking and process workfocus instead of email
https://www.calnewport.com/books/a-world-without-email
Free Time with Jenny Blake
https://itsfreetime.com/book
Time Wise by Amantha Imber
https://www.amantha.com/time-wise-book
indistractible by Nir Eyal
https://www.nirandfar.com/indistractable
--
youtube
Help! My Productivity System Is Failing Call Newport
2022-08-12, 8min
https://youtu.be/xjjBr7lcdqM
Tiago Forte | Building a Second Brain
2022-07-26, 59min
https://youtu.be/Y86GOtc1KNo
Annie Murphy Paul The Extended Mind
2022-06-22, 1h02min
https://youtu.be/Nf2a3XAZugU
How the Brain Works: The Thousand Brains Theory of Intelligence
2022-04-05, 47min
https://youtu.be/LaAYuygr7_8
its your job to position yourself where you have options that helps others AND yourself. Thats the path toward word that fulfil you and matters for people that care about having that work done.
Focusing on elevating others by creating better options, more options for others is one of the best ways.
More is not better than better. Better is better than more.
Why is More options important though? Because you dont always know what better for other people looks like.
You dont know how it is working for you. You know what you believe, not their reality.
more options also have the benefit of making space for opportunity to help others AND yourself.
If behaviour dont change, no lessons have been learned.
Are you paying attention on what those moving on tell you?
Are you paying attention to what signal not listening or worse sends,
or the even stronger signal caring for those leveling beyond you sends?
Some thoughts on processes, outcomes and vanity metrics
its easy to believe Metrics, KPI, OKR etc is about the event, the timintervall its for.
Yet in 99% its about the purpose and intent of WHY your focusing AND communication THAT Metric.
Help others see the context and purpose. Be clear on how they will know it its WORKING for that purpose or not.
Might also be that concent wise you could use it for another purpose, with tremendous revenue should yuo but legally you cant. So declaring intent both for the knowledge management, effective use for the organisation AND for your customers so they can opt IN should that be in your joined interested is important.
Likewise with communcation internally. Just because you've written a guide for it, or a policy for it or whatever if you notice what needs to happen doesnt happen it doesnt matter that you said it.
What matters is did you take responsibility for what needs to happen happens.
Do you take responsibility for the effectiveness of your metric or your words?
Can you say its working or not in a way that is clear for those its serving, your employees, your customers, your stake-holders?
If you embrace communications, metrics and words more like a process that HAS TO start with an intent AND ends with a clear "how do we know if its working, how do we know when to quit" they serve everyone involved better.
if you're not clear on this - most likly its a vanity metrics.
Something invented to make you feel good from the platform benefitting from it, not you, nor the platforms users or its middlemanagement-ware - metrics leaders in between customers, employees and top management "invented" because they believed it helped a cause, helped someone look good, status - often created with a great intent then slowly over time turned into something else thats why the "when to quit" and "how do we know its working for its intended use" context for it.
Share what your learn as you montitor AND ACT on that which you follow up on.
Helping others a choice that is not about doing big things once.
its about your intention to do something for someone else now, today, recurringly.
For who'm and for what cause might change but keep giving, shipping and sharing what you see that elevates others.
Dare too see who uses what you teach to elevate others in turn, so your help amplifies instead of staying with just the one.
but "just" the one is where we all start, every day.
Focus on the one in front of you.
Focus on what you learn by teaching, and then take responsibility for whats working and whats not in the way you teach. Be kind to yourself and alllow the small steps.
If you're heading into vacation mode soon please create some space for yourself to explore your feelings and your own thoughts and patterns.
This space doesnt create itself just because you go on vacation.
You need to make it happen, and not just for you but also for those in your care.
Today however cyberspace lets you pull ideas for what better looks like everywhere
instead of in the industral age where the boss tried to teach you what they knew
Help those around you create knowledge bases that others can pull from.
Help those you work with create remarkable space and a place to pull the work that matter for (Kanban or anything help focus and asyncronus value creator and doesnt expect contact switching like email or meetings just because someone has the status to push you into one instead of sending a memo of what matters)
Most work a knowledge worker does has a time-intervall to it.
Rarely does you instantly act on a book you read - instead you pull from the books wisdom when your work benefits from it.
Rarely does your urgent high-noise task mean important for the long-run. You need to learn to pull from both stacks of work.
As the work becomes smaller and more and more work is expected learning to pull forth the work that matter, and help others create assets and knowledge management that works for them becomes critical. if you dont set personal boundaries and allow people to push things onto your plate without filtering you will loose all the work that really matter longterm.
Work to see the pull and the push in your life. Help other see that dance and the tension between them.
Help others create space for creating a space from where they can pull forth to create their own future, and in doing so they will help elevate those around them
ps. Sorry for the audio. This is the first recording on rodecaster2 after using the rodecaster1 so I have some new stuff to learn
Skills, Decisions and organisations all are containsers rich with sunsets, fatigue and the halflife of enthusiasm.
How come we dont talk about those when we could so we can focus on that which matter, accepting reality in the time-interval that might be?
Results & Relationships
Predictions & Gifts
You're living in a prediction
Everything around you is based on predictions you've made.
We surely get so much wrong versus the prediction but great enough to be happy anyway.
(and quite often fool ourselve into it was a choice and intentional, not a bet and perhaps less intentionally)
Getting a House
Getting a Job
Getting a kid
Getting a spouse
Learning a craft
Giving something away - hoping it will be used not just put into a drawer or sold without changing something for the better for the one you gave it to
Diving deeper thought
Everything around you is also a gift from your former self
We cant look in the rear mirror for a guarantee answer
I love data, but its not all.
I dont believe you'll totally change something without data, but just because you have data prooving a change is needed doesnt mean it will happen
you can choose to commit, or let go.
What got you here wont get those you serve there.
what has got to go? what has to change, if any?
Ideas on the line
Thoughts on ideas that I got wrong for most of my life is (and sometime still do)
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You need to put yourself on the line for experiminting outside of those. I kept wishing I would find this "big AND safe" idea on my safe side of the line.
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Distruptive and really great ideas never have guaranties, proof and deniability. Yet I find myself waiting for trying to find one that have at least one of that bad trio.
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if it was that simple someone would have done it already. Why do I still keep trying to find a simple one?
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I thought the idea had to be unique, new and fresh.
Now I find it so much easier to say its "like this" slightly changed for.. Sort of putting your idea on the line next to another genre, book, industry or whatever then taking just a small step from there into the new thing.
The mistake I keep doing is jumping into the new idea without connecting it to existing things for those Im talking with. -
Analytic's is not a guarantee for the future. Dare to make an assertion. work to figure out if its working and help those you serve see what you see.
I trust data, but its not everything. -
Leadership is NOT asking your team to give you X options and you choose the best one.
If that was all it took, your team doesnt need you.
The idea that matters are not that simple.
Be kind to yourself and create something real for those you want to help so you can test if its working for them.
.. and a small rant on agile, MVP and what a focus on viable instead of minumum product might mean for those you serve.
Become Better at what -
Thinking about Minimum Viable Product, and Viable Skills longterm
Your calendar and priorites tell a tale of your future
if most of your day is meetings you most likley will become better at sitting in meetings.
Ask yourself why you didnt send a memo instead. Clearer and saves everyone involved alot of time.
If not - whats that about and whats the skill there'in you want to become better at?
From the outside it might look like you're taking a very long crashboarse into how to work with wague unclear people.
Thats gimping your results.
or the opposite.
If you're programming for the same ecommerce platform again and again without no real intention.
Like Bruce lee said.
I fear not the one who have practiced a thousand kicks
I fear the one who have practiced ONE kick a thousand times.
but just doing what youre told as programmer is NOT putting yourself on the line in making better stuff so what IS that think you want to learn to be better at in your elite code-skills
in agile we talk alot about Minumum Viable Product
We dont focus our effort enough on the Viable part
Viable means its actually helping the client get to where they need to go, from where they are. Scrappy solutions are ok to start with but focus on the actual customer
Not just that you moved something forward towards green.
in data definitions are everything and rarely do we take enough time to understand if we think the same about what goes into a value and what is NOT included into that value.
What do you think about on these words for example?
Projects
Goals
Strategy
Actionable Analtytics
KPIS
Whats the verb they contain and their net effect?
Whats their promise to those you serve and to yourself?
Whats NOT included in them, what do you inentionally let go in order to get done what matters?
what has to be true in order for these to work
What can we wait with while prioritizing what
if everything is a priority nothing is a priority
is a strategy is just words its not a strategy
if tactics cant be quit and replaced you're now following a strategy
Often you dont need better data, bigger budget or waiting for the next project.
you just just better leadership and clarity.
How can you help those that matters see what they need to see?
My thoughts are that
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a goal without commitment and a project is a dream. Important to have but not work or something you're putting yourself on the line for.
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a project without a goal is a hobbie. Important to have but you're unlikly to have an impact.
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Strategy without clear above points are just illusions and bad leadership.
A busines plan with numbers on them without data on actual paying customers or actions to exerpiment with is just wishful thinking - not a strategy, nor a tactic.
Ask yourself. Who needs to see what you see in order to make change happen where it matters while there is still time to change direction of this ship? and who will thank you for bringing that tension onboard and who will not?
What's your definition of kind?
Sometimes I need to remind myself that tension is needed for change, frictionfree is rarely kind.
Sometimes I need to remind myself that candor is needed for change, holding it in because of fear might not be kind.
What does kindness look like for you?
Who among you inspire you to be kind and what do they do? and what effects does their actions bring those they're kind to?
get the work that matters done for those who care but dont forget to to put yourself for both getting the job done, learn on that job, and share what you've learned.
its your responsibility to both yourself and those you want to serve to put yourself in those positions again and again.
Constraints are just bags with and within other bags of constraints - use it!
I'm sorry but I'm sick during the recording and you can tell. I'm also using a cleanly installed computer making the audio settings a bit different until I make time to set them.
Still - hope it helps
Create Results to Connect and elevate others For longlasting relationships
Embrace uncertainty for great results & healthy relationships.
Here we ask ourselves hard questions and embrace serious commitments. For a life with lots of fun play, long-lasting relationships, and legacy-worthy results.
Accepting Reality, Data, and that not everything matters.
Connecting, elevating, enrolling those who care.
Its spirals and circles.
Relationships are a gift we can not take for granted, none of us.
Results are something anyone can do independently of where we are on any kind of “ladder” we call can do, however small if we just choose to care. What small thing can you do today to help connect and elevate someone else?
Explore thyself, harness data. Dare to experiment. Evaluate accepting multiple axes for what better looks like.
Be kind to others, and yourself,
by putting yourself on the line for those who care
(this podcast was before known as "Relationship Power at work")
Someone once said. Life is an empty bag and it's your job to fill it purposely and wisely.
For a long time I believed that meant to fill it richly, with great friends and work that really, honestly mattered to those I serve.
What I missed is that the choice where something belongs is a choice you make BEFORE choosing and creating space for the bag, not when it's too full for effective work or whatever the purpose of the bag is.
if you know what each bag is for, and its containers choosing to NOT move it to another bag instead of dealing with it is a lot easier once it gets fuller than ideal.
Not having made the choice early and trying to squeeze your favorite into a full bag is really really emotionally hard. Yet that's how I and most I know often do it.
Buying a new bag/storage isnt a long-term solution.
Likewise not using the important bags for making space for what matters recurringly.
Constraints are your friend. Lean onto them to help yourself and others earlier, not later.
Are you reserving some of your capacity for enabling others without you trading time to help them get to where they need?
What are you teaching whom right now?
Every moment is an open possibility for kindness to others and yourself,
for coaching
for committing yourself for those you care about
dont wait for the big thing
make the small moments matter, again and again.
Do you see what matters to those you serve or are you investing in your own illusions and biases? What pieces have to exist in order for your strategy to work longterm?
What pieces might exist that you are not seeing and what are you doing to become aware?
What pieces does other need to see in order to get to where they are going?
We never see all the pieces that matter, but accepting there is more than we know helps. accepting the uncertainty of what we see and dont see helps free up alot
just a long list of questions to make our heart and mind rest while looking within and beyond
Please help remind those you care about to protect their accounts & devices with Multifactor authentication everywhere.
Seek out ways to stay safe, helping those who you believe dont have the knowledge or capacity.
its always been urgent. Now you cant afford to wait any more. Help save others by lending a nudge, insight or knowledge.
in cyber distance is an illusion and the forces are unreal with very real consequence for you.
Seeing, asking and facing what isn't being said by lifting the Question
How often to you actually pause and make space for yourself to know your position before answering? How often do you refocus on why that ask you for a recommendation? WHY they are asking in the first place? what is is the ask for a recommended for?
Why do they ask you? Why now? Where are they now and do you see clearly where they want to go?
Whats your position in the recommendation? You're not in their shoes. Dont let them drag you there. Surely have empathy for their position but remain in yours.
That said said, respectfully levelup their question in a way you think will help them get from where they are and where they want to go. Dont settle for detours.
No one care how much effort you invested - they care about how it can help them from where they are to where they are going
release freely and often. if your idea is all you've got you've got nothing. share it with those who need it and embrace reality.
if you have to lock in knowledge you're turning into a commodity. like the hackers in the 80th used to say. information want to be free
deliberately put time-blocks onto your calendar to practice with the intent to throw away
Do things early enough with margins to let go. create remarkable space for opportunity. put yourself in a position where your effort matters and get evaluated by those you want to help
time-blocking, intentional action, reflecting on outcome is key. How often do you do it like that?
Dont store - Create, Release, Reflect
So its set. This show will be renamed Results & Relationships.
Why? Im hoping to help you let go of what you make.
Create it with your intent and then release it.
this show isnt just for me. The simpler name might help those its for. you.
Just like everything you create.
Lots of the stuff wont become a recurring growing assets.
but once it does, its important to remember to release it.
its no longer just for you.
Likewise do I hope to inspire you to be kind to yourself when beginning.
its impossible to know what it will become, and whom will have the best effects from your generosity.
sure its important to have an intent, a purpose and an idea if what its for is working.
and that cant happen without an idea who its for
but your work will change, and who its really for will change as you learn more.
Going back to Results & Relationships.
I think its important you think about the ratio in everything.
The highest paid programmers arnt the one writing the best code alone, they get the people and invest time and effort there too.
they get the business and help elevate the people needed to get there.
Making a real big difference is alwawys a dance between multiple axises, multiple metrics es.
Just one thing alone is not enough..
For example we steal from our selves.
write or market - instead of writting better.
write closedloop - a novel in the closet
you need to you work where you get real life feedback.
write with some sort of notion to check if its working with what its for.
dont look for the silver bullet
dont think you will hack the system and just find the publisher
just get picked with whatever.
keep doing some work thats helping some real cause, person.
if you are not ready to be public about it. just give it into the hands of those you think it will help.
Dare to be specific and clear enough to create tension. Be respectful to those you serve, and those around you and yourself. Dare to show the tension early saves so many so much - its an huge alternative cost for us people pleasers who rather save those tough confrontative talks for tomorrow. Thinking we're doing the generous thing to have more details, habits, patterns for when we adress it.. yet often resulting in a big cost of delay or ourselves realizing to late that we're serving the wrong thing to long.
(I just realized I published this episode to my other podcast, Psychology & Cyber thus just uploading it here as a copy. Sorry for the delay and mistake on my side)
Ready is a choice, it not worth waiting for.
Do you regularly invest time with people who:
* claim ready enough for action even while uncertain?
* do work that matter for them regularly?
* Dare find out if those they seek to serve care about having that work done?`
What does Ready mean to you? often we forget to ask this critical question.
* when its ready - will you see it or find another thing to polish?
* out of time DOES NOT mean ready, yet often thats where we end up without intention
* Are you ready to listen to feedback?
* is the person you’re talking to ready to listen?
* if all you want to do is tell others of facts they can loop up facts if they cared, if they dont care you're not ready to help them
* life is short, we all will die. You're already self-employed for life AND other things in-between that. When will be you be ready to act like it?
* is ready for those its for, or for you?
Whats worth being ready for?
Whats worth saying no to so you can be ready for it?
So whats stopping you? Go Get it for those that care
Often Ready means too late. What would some early real life, real customer feedback mean for your work?
Remarkable Position and easy to say name change
It's been 8 years already with Relationship Power at work. Every week. Some of the early years it was more often.
Before that this pod was called "Levelup at work and ingame".
That's why the libsyn url is called gaming even if all those episodes are lost now due to my own newbie mistakes with an RSS feed change.
I've been wondering if we should rename this thing to Results & Relationship. What do you think oh most splendid of listener?
When I started our pod was primarily for computer leaders using the words direct, Relationship Power and such.
To figure out untrained empathy and relationships skills. Combined their already powerful data mojo.
I myself hid behind computers for the longest time. That made me powerful in a lot of aspects and fearful in my many untrained areas.
Over the years I observed others, and myself struggle saying the phrase "Relationship Power at work"
Thus the intention with the name change is to making it easier to name this thing of ours. Its nothing bigger or more complicated than that. I'm sharing the process to help you see. Whatever you make it will also change as you learn more about it and those you serve. Getting started early embracing reality instead of staying in your head is critical. Im hoping sharing what I missed from starting helps unlock you. Free you to give whatever is rattling in your head a try.
Why Results first in the name?
I love that anyone can intentionally create results based on where they start in life. Independent where we currently are. Independent of what we where given we can all work on figuring out what we can give, create or teach.
its a lottery what relationship we get to start life with. its a choice what results we work hard and long for and what company we keep.
I love that results is an open way to healthy long-lasting relationships. You cant control relationships and the opening of doors. Yet you can control what you create and invest emotional labor into, and for whom's benefit.
Your reputation precedes you. Its nothing new but more urgent than ever with the ever-present machine learning.
Soon your results will be auto-presented in front of any person you meet via their AR devices. Of whoever you meet in real life by default. Even so before you get to chance to meet.
Your results is one of the most Key factors setting the options for who you get to build relationships with.
Its surely not the most important thing. Love, care & relationships are. Yet without results is hard to get the freedom to sustain that dream of yours and the dreams of those you care about.
Results. Done well and generous are also something others feel good about remarking on. Good for their own benefit (self image, status and possibilities) as well that remark benefitting their friend and you.
Owning your choice of context, your patterns and positions from which to serve.
Are you owning your choice of context?
Do you position yourself with people and situations that are likely to help others long-term and effectively?
Are you diving into your context to find the context within the context of what truly matter to those you seek to serve?
What do you rhyme with?
What does your work ryme with?
What does your relationship ryme with?
Whats your future ryme with?
We live in a time where most want to "Predict the next big wave", "find The Key that unlocks it all" or that "The golden segment to distript industries". Chasing that dream of exponential growth.
Believing we see it everywhere. Not seeing the infinite amount of tries between the dots of success.
For most of us this results in a cost of delay, in procrastination lost in a waiting game. Doing something every day that you learn from is the most common story of those that have made it.
Doing consistantly that work that helps you connect to those you want to help is the best way to learn what matter.
Waiting for to catch that "wave that is worth it" often means when it comes we are not ready to harness it. Embrace the small wins, the opportunityo to train that skill, to listen and learn to see.
What do you ryme with? Often it helps me think of predictions like spirals or repeat cycles. Instead of trying to predict exacly what the future looks like its often more helpful to se the pace of small levelups around you.
And surround yourself with others dancing to that rythm instead of lost playing the waiting for a worthy wave game.
Surround yourself with people that appreciate that you try to daily show up for what you believe in. To make a differerence for that next ryme. People who will happily let you borrow their work and learnings for that next experiment. People believing your effort will help you all versus being in a competition.
Do you see its many sides and shapes?
There is always many sides and shapes to everything that matter.
Some sharper than others. Few see the world exactly like you do.
How many of the worldviews of those you serve can you hold higher than your own when needed?
Do you intentionally make space to stay off the beaten path in a few select areas over a longer time?
Do you intentionally surround yourself with people who are happy to accept that on the edge there isnt a one clear metric to rule them all?
Do you intentionally gather people who get energy, rest and clarity from being together?
Book recommendations in this cast:
-
Cold Start problem and the double-edged sword of network effect. A book that came out today so I havent fully read it yet
-
This is marketing - a book I'v read multiple times and I still learn something every time.
Uncanny Sight: You saw something inside me that I didnt see until years later yet I wasnt ready when you named it and that made me nervous
Are you making people uncomfortable with what you see or does your lended sights give them freedom, energy or clarity to act for their own benefit?
Sometimes the people around you are not ready to connect to what you want to connect on.
How can you learn to see that early?
If you want to help make change happen you must meet people where they are right now.
not where you know they will be eventually.
Often that means you need to go first. To show trust by creating space for them first.
To listen for what happens or dont happen and if needed just move on. Or in other times lean in, staying with the tension longer for THEIR benefit. At other time its the exact that behaviour that makes them too uncomfortable. Easy to see in retrospect and the long game.
Really hard in the moment.
Are you paying attention to the recipient of what you see right now?
What you might call kind clarity might be perceived as way to much tension for me.
Likewise though. A few years later it might be exactly those very word you get thanked for.
[
I was also having a deep cold recording this. I hope it was bearable to listen to despite that
]
Relentless tests. Lessons and gifts are optional.
Relentless tests. Every second of your life, business & relationships.
Question is though. Are you taking the lessons that matter and letting go what doesnt belong so you learn between tests?
Are you accepting the gifts that helps both you and their giver, and letting the ones go that dont? Even if they are from yourself, fully formed, shiny and polished with hardwon sunc costs?
When you grew up. School gave you lessons, then you take the test.
And you though that was the "fair" order it was supposed to be done at.
I believe that by embracing reality you see we are all given neverending tests and its very very optional if anyone will take the lesson. Less easy is to see its the same with gifts from your former self to yourself. What got you here wont get you there. Let go of that raft and habits that protected you so far so you can form new one that serves you better where you want to go from here.
Instead of seeing goals and the long journey there. Embrace the hard obstacles right here right now. Help others move their for them, learning for yourself while doing it.
Instead of longing for a smooth journey towards the goal. Embrace that the "deeper downs" will teach you better & faster. So so how can you weave in rest time so you can go deep on a hard problem when helpful? You level up faster in positions like that versus the dream you have of smooth sailing
That position is a choice. That emotional labor is a choice.
if whater you are feeling right now isnt what you want. Whats the lesson? Whats the gift from your former past, the company you keep. what are you carrying that you can lay down in favor of helping to carry something else?
Sensortoipia. Metaverse. Data. machine learning. Fast pace of our world... Makes it hard to see the lesson longterm to say privacy yet you can still think about it right now.
Who am I teaching right now?
its so hard to missread reality thru the lens of the past.
Its so easy to be blinded by the shiny object or goal in the future.
Who am I teaching right now? Take a breath and ask yourself this six times centering on just one of the word each time you ask it.
You just might see reality better.
You are being tested all the time. Dont be unprepared. Dont autoaccept whats given.
Whats worth that extra care?
Who are worthy of that extra effort again and again?
About this eposide:
I'm glad to introduce you to Özlem, our first guest in perhaps 6 years or something of weekly shipping.
Since the 1990ths I have always created a few cyber communities where we have learned together. (On whatever voice platform made it most easy at the time)
Almost every day I'd join a live voice channel in a joint venture within a game the group as a whole would be playing.
This created a space where so many different age-groups, professions and walks of life met. Often and recurring working together creates remarkable spaces. One where we know during our day we have this "other" place where we can questions. Learn from others experiences or share when we feel vulnerable. On any topic from Life, business or anything.
I thus jumped into AltMBA number 4. Knowing already at #1 it was for me but I feared I wasnt worthy enough to be there so took a while before I dared. I have since been part of 30 akimbo workshops and a remarkable coach in a few. Because I believe in learning together. Helping each other see better together. Feel seen for what matters. So when my friend Özlem started her course on Maven.com A platform where I've also been part of a few great community based courses I thought we should talk about whats inside her creation for your benefit.
About your guest:
Özlem Özkan is an author, podcaster, teacher and coach. She tells us more about how she got Seth Godin on her show, went from homeless to living in a monument, and how every NO brought her closer to the YES.
Özlem was invited to be an instructor with Maven, a new cohort-based course platform founded by the co-founder of Udemy and the co-founder of altMBA. She is now teaching the cohort-based-course DARE TO ASK at Maven.
To attend her free workshop go to https://lu.ma/ooj6zmcs
Check out DARE TO ASK on https://maven.com/bridging-workshops/dare-to-ask?custom=true
Özlem’s Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ozlemozkan/
Özlem’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozkanozlem/?hl=en
THE work you want to do again
Great work is often rewarded with great work.
What do you want to become better at and for whom?
Whats a position you would feel its a luxury to serve WHOM from?
Dont make it about waiting for perfect.
Make it about progress - however tiny that might feel.
Dont make it about you.
Make it about those you're helping
Relate to each other, asking ourselves how we RELATE not how we differ, judge or oversimplify into polarized either or.
everything is a projection. everything is a reflection of us.
Dont blame others, systems and subsystems. Own your intent, effort and behaviour.
Currently around you its a lot of focus on being divided,
bad at listening,
more judgmental. We fool ourselves that its either or/black or white
if I'm right you must be wrong: no grayscale
Our axis never align perfectly, we can still be both mostly right
learn the hard soft skills, everything else will get automated.
scripts ignore all sunk costs
instead train on:
* give and receive feedback
* having difficult conversations
* training in one area might transfer to all areas
* Relate to each other, and teaching others how they benefit from that focus as well* helping others on their journey towards their destination, and seeing overlaps and when it's time to let go
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Humble is not thinking less of yourself,
it's thinking of yourself less.
Be the hardest working in the room, not the loudest
OK to fumble while learning just intentionally keep practice and evaluate for those you care about
Here's the video version of this audio for those interested
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QJJp0uGsPU&list=PLZnle-1ZnD6eU9vyN5x8Ulvlj8Ivat1v-
Why Machine, Deep learning & AI speeds up the hatchet of change so much - and why I think it matter to every relationship you have
Are you aware of the results of your intentions and actions?
We dont know the intent behind an outcome, but imagine a positive intent from others helps build relationships.
Likewise setting healthy boundaries also helps build relationships
What work are you doing that feels so important you just HAVE to do it (for others benefit)? Why is that so?
BetterBias, UpperLimit Belief & Risks – Please just start already
Books mentioned in this episode
The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level
Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World--and Why Things Are Better Than You Think
Your Story and Talking To Strangers
I’m currently in Seth Godin’s beta program of Storytelling and reflect out loud on the combination of that and the book I’m currently listening to (that was released today so I’m just partly done listening to it)
Book: Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know 2
Link: https://amzn.to/2Q7GCV0
Course: Story Skills Workshop
Link: https://str1.akimbo.com
On Trust
Reach and information is not enough
is never about what you say
its about what people do
do they trust what you see and bring to their table?
Please dont wait
Please listen to the resistance, and the feelings that get in the way for teaching others what you know - then find a way to do it anyway.
Also remind yourself of others calendar-time.
often we intend to give generously but time catches up with us and without intending to we could have given no help + time to people instead of sending them early and with faults, we hoped to fix it before sending them yet other priorities got in the way and we're still sending them as it was before anyway.
Dare to share and teach earlier, faster, more often.
You already know enough to give. today. Again and again.
Experimenting with things that might work but are not guaranteed to work takes a lot of emotional work. Separating the work from our self-identity. Allowing our “self-esteem” the hit of failure, when we all wish to make it.
You’ll never learn anything new properly if you’re not open to be vulnerable in your self-esteem.
If you can remove shame from not making things work the first time you try it you’ve come a LOT way to propel your work forward. Its hard work for all of us but well worth it.
What WOULD you bring our world if there was NO shame in trying?
I've spoken about Digital Twins multiple times over the years but it’s worth a reminder on how it will affect your relationships and effectiveness
ARE you generous towards yourself?
so you'll know how to give better to those you care about?
if we're not starting with also being generous to ourselves,
its easy to fool ourselves what better looks like
Do you know your Oasis?
Do you know where you regenerate?
Where you get energy, insight and encouragement from?
Its more often a WHO than a place.
Are you investing energy finding people who get you,
Or investing energy adapting to people who don’t?
Only YOU know "your" place
Dont let anyone else tell you otherwise
Status affect way more than it perhaps should.
Accepting reality is the first step in changing it
Dont wait for mentoring.
Dont wait to be picked.
Dont wait to recieve that special anything.
Instead work hard to position yourself AND thus making it more likely to have someone wanting to mentor you, to make yourself ready IF you get picked.
Do things that matter today, so you’ll learn.
Don’t waste time comparing – remind yourself it’s the learning and doing that’s important and comparing often gets in the way more than we ever learn.
This is urgent. Do thinks every day that matters, however small. That consistency will what makes you win whenever you need to win way more likely than watching others.
Culture is just behaviour. Effect is just a result of behaviour.
Are you focused on your own behaviour and that of those around you? without this it doesnt matter what your powerpoint slides say your people "should" do in a fancy greatlooking strategy document.
Are you doing the work that matters?
Or are you just doing hard work because you "hope" if its hard, it should be rewarded?
Just some food for thought on the URGENT need for you to think about restorability so backups don’t get in the way of your relationships.
-
Divorce and family photos?
-
Employee and boss asks for phone back?
-
Programmer backup = 100x speed and trust
Trust? Are your provider doing analytics on your backups?
Who controls the data for your emotional choices?
Know thyself is more urgent than ever!
We’re all emotional creatures – a great important part of our evolution.
It’s important to know that you’re now surrounded by algorithms watching you and tweaking the environment around you constantly. For both great and scary effects.
That’s why it’s more important than ever to know thyself, to understand what makes you tick so you’ll recognize what’s going on. Say when you think you’re reading news and in effect, you’re being manipulated to make a certain decision.
Why fascism is so tempting — and how your data could power it Yuval Noah Harari | TED2018
https://www.ted.com/talks/yuval_noah_harari_why_fascism_is_so_tempting_and_how_your_data_could_power_it
Facebook's role in Brexit — and the threat to democracy |Carole Cadwalladr | TED2019
https://www.ted.com/talks/carole_cadwalladr_facebook_s_role_in_brexit_and_the_threat_to_democracy
This is Marketing worth the listen or read from so many angles
This episode is a tribute to Seth Godin, and a recommendation of his book This Is Marketing: You Can't Be Seen Until You Learn to See
IF you only read one book this year I recommend you make it this one before others.
It applies to so much beyond marketing.
Ric share’s some of his thoughts on Seth Quotes
- My product is for people who believe ...
- I will focus on people who want...
- I promise that engaging with what I make will help you get...
You’re listening to episode 365 of this podcast, and I’ve shipped it weekly for 5 years to get to this point in time.
I surely was a slow learner facing so many resistances getting here. I still struggle with some of them and most likely will find new resistances as I keep leveling up.
Without Seth and all I’ve learned from Seth over the years about [daring] to dance with tension and [daring] to do the work that matter this podcast wouldn’t exist. Seth is the number ONE reason I’m doing this for you and everyone else listening to this.
Thank you Seth!
This Is Marketing: You Can't Be Seen Until You Learn to See
IF you’re curious I recommend you get the audio version because Seth is taking time to read it himself
https://amzn.to/2Ijew4I
Brand, Reputation and DOING the work that matters.
I know I here talk about how important DOING things is – to get real life feedback, to connect, to learn.
Getting our ideas out of our heads to meet the world so we connect with our community, so we show up for those we seek to help. But it’s even more important to embrace that it’s not enough to just do better work. We must all of us also embrace branding, reputation and all the work that makes OUR work matter, be noticed and feel relevant for those we want to help.
With all the noise in our world just being the best, or having shipped the best product is not enough.
We must all work on our brand. That the result of that work is NOT up to us. Branding in today’s connected world: For both global around the world brands, as well as your personal brand is:
Other people's expectation of you. The promise you deliver to them. THAT is your brand.
its easy to live in the illusion that they'll get it eventually, if we just do good work.
That they will come if we just build "the right " but it’s not enough.
My experience is that in order for your people to get the maximum value out of your product or “value”
They must get the reputation your brand bring with it from others, not directly from you.
The noise blocks out who's the best.
Seek to be the best for those you serve including do work on marketing, branding, reputation in a way that matter to them.
Don’t seek to gamify what ‘ever platform you're on.
Eventually algorithms will learn and you're community as well. You don’t want to be left obsolete just because an algorithm was updated.
quote: Warren Buffet
It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently
What’s your legacy? What are you building for those you serve beyond you?
What is the promise you bring those that connect with what you do?
Go around it.
Dont wait for perfect - Its OK to go around the long way as long as you keep taking steps forward
Be kind to yourself. Dont wait for the perfect candidate, perfect opportunity or perfect idea.
Once you go around and obsticle and you make them pointless they're often happy to help you - making it appear you've walked in a straighter line that you have for an outsiders.
dont compare yourself to others because you dont know the detours they have made to get it done.
Focus on progress, and what's working and what is.
not others and how you think it "should be"
Primilary ask yourself what can you DO, instead of listening to the sceptics in your head?
dont worry about what others think or say if you're not starting by enrolling the top candidate. Few succesful people did when they started. We just fool ourselves by comparing thinking everyone else had it easier to change things that we do. Usually they did not but invested effort anyone eventually making it.
Laser Focus
What are you focusing on right now?
So many of us imagine success as “having it all.”
While that may be true, the way to get there requires focus; giving up a lot of things, disappearing from the spotlight, and building that one thing that will be your contribution to the world--your legacy.
The first step to achieving something is figuring out what you want in the first place. And the more you think about it, the more you realize how much harder it actually is.
What is something that you like, love, and care for? What is something that you love doing so much that you can do it for the rest of your life?
What is something that you're willing to grow and flourish at the expense of momentarily saying no to so many things because it will take a lot of you to turn an idea into a reality?
Every success story begins with a decision to focus on one thing. Constrain how much you are doing at the moment to expand an idea that will have value five years from now, ten years from now. No one will see what you are building. They won’t understand why you're so driven at something or why you are saying “no” to them or to other opportunities.
It's challenging to say “no” because it's so easy to go with the flow, to get rewarded and recognized around people.
But when you start saying no, because you are laser focused on opportunities that align with your goal, you have more room to say yes to the things that matter. You have more energy and mind power to absorb everything that will further you in your direction.
Everything you do is connected. You grow from the right opportunities. You see things that busy people often look past.
Make your timeline something important here and now and you will build something exceptional for those you care about.
Strangled by your own convenience
I know you love your comfort zone
So do I. I go there to rest myself and I have to force myself out, into scary uncharted territory every time
My Personal Trainer say most of us have trouble picking things up from the ground when we get old. Yet a few never have this problem
Because most stop doing it when there is a tool, chair or something to assist with
Those who intentionally do knit their shoes, and move every day done have this problem. for most its that convenience got in the way – making it very inconvenient eventually.
- when I was awarded consultant of the year 2013 out of 7500 consultants I was asked to hold (by consultants seeking the same fame and success) had a few presentations on a few different topics one including "How to increase your value" which often was interpreted as "How do I charge more" which surely is a side effect of the same behaviour.
YET most asking live during my talk always wanted to wiggle back to a convenient answer. Hoping they would get one word they could say when receiving an offer to increase it by 20% without effort.
I then said that would then be the new normal if there was such a free upgrade as no investment needed to get more we would all be doing it explaining that whatever you do at the "negotiation" will only shift it a sliver versus say you have five overs all equally exiting in work. Then the talks would be entirely different but it’s also a lot of more work. Yet in the end, you will have a lot of more options in your life than if you let convenience decide for you.
Convenience pushes the decision you know you need to make to the future
friends not behaving as you want? choose new ones, it won’t be convenient for a while but that space will open up for better people if you are also willing to level up in areas that attract those you want to attract
have empathy for your naysayers
Its uncomfortable buy if we dare to face that I, Ric, am not for everyone then we make better decisions. this was really hard for me, I am such a people pleaser, I really want to help everyone and that everyone love me but what I didn’t understand for 70% of my life was that my behaviour made me pleasant but not truly anyone’s favorite.
- Free stuff and convenience
We often forget the alternative cost we pay for free stuff. Platforms and business rarely give us stuff free as a primary thing.
Their primary thing is often a business selling us. Convenient now but will it really be so for your future self?
like Brene Brown say:
Choose to uncomfortable now instead of resentful later.
“Discomfort brings engagement and change. Discomfort means you're doing something that others were unlikely to do, because they're hiding out in the comfortable zone. When your uncomfortable actions lead to success, the organization rewards you and brings you back for more.”
The very thing that feels uncomfortable is probably the thing I should be doing at that moment. The activity that puts me on edge and tempts me to resort to procrastination – that subtle fear is indicating the task is important.
so what to do about it?
I believe in balance. You can’t always be outside your comfort zone. You need to rest, to reflect, to have a place where you ask yourself the scary questions without falling into a deep pit
but in order for that zone NOT TO shrink so much its uncomfortable small, forcing you to stand still and stiff you also need to show up with your whole self in at least a few areas that matter. that matter to you, not society but yes also that matters to your customers so you can sustain it
How to be a person of Value
Einstein said:
Try not to be a person of success,
Instead try to be a person of value.
So you have to ask yourself. What is VALUE those you serve?
If don’t value people, you will never ask yourself that question.
How can I ADD value to those people?
Another quote goes “Price is what you PAY, value is what you GET”
Thus what your customers, friends, boss, relatives all GET from your effort and results is subjective
That’s why listening and acting is so important.
Listening is important because you really need listen and embrace that subjective worldview of those you care about BEFORE you speak. But listening alone isn’t enough. Action is required to change things.
Speaking is important to clarify things.
Leadership is influence.
IF you add value to people, then that effort will give you more influence.
I think we need to talk about YOUR status and it’s urgent we embrace the world we’re living in when it comes to status. Status
Status roles are at the core of who we are. They change how we spend our time, our money and most of all, our imaginations.
I think we’re getting confused of what status really means with “status updates” on platforms making most of us think someone else is getting a vacation regularly and here we are doing the dirty, hard work. Or comparing our efforts with the world’s top 1% unaware of all the effort and time they have invested into getting where they are.
or how platforms today use the word friend for anyone who’s a childhood friend just as much as someone who’s just following you because the great work you do, or just because the platform nudge-nudged you to accept it. OR thinking we’re part of a community when it’s just another platform. Real-life is not a blog, twitter or most platforms – yet surely community can be digital so how do we know?
Don’t spend your energy thinking about other people’s status versus yours. Try to be kind to yourself and constantly work towards more effort into doing the work that matters. The small work your future self will thank you for when you go to sleep tonight does A LOT more for your status than comparing ever will.
Quote: John P. Kotter
Because management deals mostly with the status quo and leadership deals mostly with change, in the next century we are going to have to try to become much more skilled at creating leaders.
I think it’s more urgent than ever that we become skilled at owning our OWN status and ignoring others as a comparison but embracing others status as part of driving the change we make.
IF we are so worried about our status that we don’t dare to learn, done dare to be a beginner don’t dare to make any mistakes we will not 100X results, because we’ll be busy maintaining the status quo. Both in our inner game, as well as out doing the work that matter in organisations.
Action now, small or big is the single best way to improve the status quo. And the more forward motion we make, the better we’ll get at figuring out what better looks like, if it’s a good idea, if its helping or not. Status can be just a good block from learning, as it can be for enabling learning and better.
Ric's currently reading the books "Masks of Masculinity" by Lewis Howes which led to some great conversations when he was working together with David Marquet this week on making the invisible visible using data
Techinical info: this is also the first episode on the libsyn platform only, before now I've made 355 episodes using googles feedburner AND libsyn for 5 years.
Most of my list wont migrate, just sharing in case you get a glitch or something. then just unsubscribe and subscribe again and most likely all will be back to normal (but on a shorter episode list)
I’m grateful I got the chance to work with David Marque this week. I learned lot from him this week but have learned from him in so many ways like his Youtube Leadership Nudges, and also learned from people who learned from him so I felt a bit Stars-truck When we wasn’t working we talked … Continue reading Self-identity and how that can blind us, in my case on arrogance →
Set things Right – whats better than right? it’s easy to forget that what’s right most often is a matter of worldview. Ensure to separate facts, observations and measurements from labels Both are needed to do better that lasts. We need to figure our own values, “our definition of right” before enrolling others towards change, … Continue reading Setting things right – whats better than right? →
Act as if – Do, measure, evaluate, experiment Failure, might not work as part of your identity, where it’s easier to learn from failure. not fake it to you make it – where it’s really hard to emotionally handle failure Most really successful people did not make ONE plan and that worked out most tried … Continue reading Act as if →
How well are you tending to yours? How aware are you that they’re at the helm of everything you do, and everyone you meet. What do you expect to see on the other side of your effort? How often are you right? Dont expect anything to happen differently without you doing differently. Dont expect things … Continue reading Expectations are the fuel and engine of perceptions →
Its easy to forget when a decision is actually made. When we’re stuck fighting the system of not embracing a YES fully, or not setting a clear and strong boundary, aka said NO to something when it mattered more, than when we’re standing knee-deep into it. How can you help yourself trace back when a … Continue reading Decision traceback – delayed feedback and results, learn to embrace yes or no when it matters →
How do I know this is the idea to go all in for? I hear this from clients and people often, in different forms like: Please tell me THIS is the idea to go all in for Is this THE idea to go for? Please tell me I’m at the tipping point, that it will … Continue reading How do I know this is the idea to go all in for? →
Teach Dare to do things that might not work Don’t wait for school or anyone else to teach those that matter to you the most important things like daring to do things that might not work, daring to do things that society doesn’t understand. Daring to listen to yourself thru a dip, quit and give … Continue reading Teach Dare to do things that might not work →
Beware Fake Paths, illusionary progress and blockers Learn to listen to yourself, including when to, and when not to, others
Algoritms- why they matter so much to your relationships The chain of algoritms is woven around all you meet, all day long. Your reputation preceede you in all your first contacts There is no escape. Use it or get used by it.
Christmas is coming – talk to your people. We are all rusty and emotional during this holiday, be kind to yourself AND those around you. Start talking now, before tickets get [too] costly and while dates and items are easier to set and get.
What you are unaware of controls you Always work to become more aware. You can’t work with stuff that you’re not aware of. You can’t know the great potential that lies within you or others if you’re not exploring, and daring to be curious where others don’t. Always A/B test what you think you know, … Continue reading What you are unaware of controls you →
Patience is something you can become better at. Its not a born thing that you either have or don’t have. Patience matter now most urgently because all the easy jobs will be gone soon. Easy is replacable. Automatable. Easy jobs also makes you a commodity the instant you take it. Sure, its scary leveling … Continue reading Patience – Race dont chase →
Meta talk about YOUR communication. Yes, I’m talking about your message earlier today. Are you seeing the effect you want when you say something?
Embrace failing AND keep taking action to learn what better looks like If you find yourself failing often where you want to be in life and business. Allow yourself to take smaller steps and be kind to yourself when evaluating why If you find yourself failing rarely where you want to be in … Continue reading Embrace failing AND keep taking action to learn what better looks like →
Life is full of changes. Opportunities often catch us by surprise. Only those who are ready to grab the chance wins the game. An updated resume is a great tool to showcase your potential and convince the big man to give you a shot. 1. Have a Clear Message Who you do want to serve? … Continue reading 6 Steps to a Ready Resume – its time to update →
Busy, busy, busy! We live in a world where everyone is dedicated, driven, and competitive at work. Traffic takes forever. We spend our night eating fast food in front of Netflix when we’re not out for a drink with friends. We spend our lives chasing things that can make us happy while trying to remain … Continue reading Befriend Boredom →
Let It Go Brace yourself! Life is a voyage. You will sail to wondrous places. Strangers can become friends and friends can become strangers. Expect the unknown and the unexpected. Be prepared to win and lose. Stay excited for what’s ahead. Let go of your fixations. Your plans may no longer work given the new … Continue reading Let it Go →
4 Realizations From “The Big Leap” By Gay Hendricks “The Big Leap” is a book that encourages people to reach their pinnacle by going beyond excellence. Break your upper limit. Realize there is no ceiling to what you can achieve in life. Play As An Adult Nurture the child in you. Stay curious. Play. Stretch … Continue reading The Big Leap and importance of State of Play →
“You can’t do big things if you are distracted by small things.” -Unknown Distraction is just as powerful and as dangerous today as it was thousands of years ago. It takes a new form and is now present in the very thing that we need in our daily lives: technology. Author Nir Eyal writes about … Continue reading indistractable →
Work Ethic and Grit works for everyone. Better than waiting for talent So what are you waiting for? WHO is worthy of your best hard work? Even when no-one is watching but yourself?
Emotional Work, Hard Work, Long Slow Grind Work – don’t underestimate the important of what you learn in the slow grind Few things in life are the insta-win you see in media. Most of those media show you has been standing on the same position service others for long years before sky-rocketing and getting noticed … Continue reading Emotional Work: Don’t underestimate the important of what you learn in the slow grind →
5 Friendships You Have To Make: You become the company you keep Think of the five people closest to you–the ones you spend most of your time with, your confidants, peers, family, and org mates. What is their influence in your life? Do they share your fire? Are they as ambitious as you? What are … Continue reading 5 Friendships You Have To Make: You become the company you keep →
Ratchets: The Beginning of Change Seasons are magical. Yesterday, the leaves of the trees were cold and white. Right now, it gets greener each day. But soon, it will turn yellow, then red, and finally brown. The world we live in is alive. And we know that because it’s constantly changing, evolving. We are little … Continue reading Ratchets: The Beginning of Change →
Motor Examples What’s your motor? Do you know, guard and focus on your peak hours? Do you know what fuels YOUR motors and those around you? Do you know what feeds all the systems, organizations and people around you? In this cast Ric dives into a few places you encounter motors, algorithms and how this … Continue reading Motor Examples →
Your Trains, Ratchets and Motors Most people worry way too much about the big mistake of getting on the wrong train. I think the biggest mistake I’ve done, and I see others doing is NOT getting of it when they’ve established it’s not heading in their direction. Instead investing time and energy thinking about how … Continue reading Your Trains, Ratchets and Motors →
You are your work in the Mesh economy Some thoughts about how important it is to ask yourself “What is it for” – and embrace that there multiple answers to that questions. First what is it for from the perspective of those you serve? But also what is it for from your own perspective? And … Continue reading You are your work in the Mesh economy →
dont Shrink, dont Puff: some thoughts on shame Some of my thoughts on the great quote by Brene Brows ”dont shrink dont puff” and the behaviour it creates. For me its a very effective quote to realize whats going on. Within me and within the people I help or meet.
Guard your time investments. Plan your time investments. Evaluate your time investments and the results, energy and relationships you get out of it. Pay attention to your time & relationships – because they’re the only thing you cant get back.
Race don’t chase, Try not to compare Don’t compare because you just can’t know how it is walking in their shoes. What they have invested, in effort, time or other resources that you don’t see. Its human to compare. I think its one of the biggest trauma of our generation. We compare ourselves to the … Continue reading Race don’t chase, Try not to compare. Generosity is one answer →
Positive Future versus here and now? How often your feedback have more to do about the past than the positive future behaviour you want to help create? How often to you sacrifice what you want the MOST for what you want now? How often do you confuse the word discipline with consequence? Instead of its … Continue reading Positive Future versus here and now? →
Selfishness doesn’t last – What does Success look like to you? Selfishness doesn’t last. IF you want to win the infinite game generosity is the key, the path and the endgame. If you’re asking yourself “What does Success look like to me” ensure you wave in how you show your gratefulness to your tribe just … Continue reading Selfishness doesn’t last – What does Success look like to you? →
Confusing Ambivalent People … your Energy ..your results …your circles. You really become the company you keep It’s easy to say stay clear of obviously toxic people. It’s easy to say work with great people. What we often forget is the ongoing cost of confusing and ambivalent people. Especially the alternative cost of what might … Continue reading Confusing Ambivalent People →
Getting Pro Clients Choosing and working hard for the right Clients, Customers, Managers, Bosses – who ever you choose so serve is one of the most important choices in your life. This episode is some answers to questions I’ve received on my podcast episode “Getting Better Clients”
Create Health OR promote disease? What if you could easily see how every tiny decision do make every minute in your life as either a small step to “Create Health for yourself, your family, your friends, your customer or anyone else you really care deeply for” OR that the alternative cost of not honoring that … Continue reading Create Health OR promote disease? →
Are you sure you’re in a ride heading where you want to be? Is it time to get a better one? is it time to pick up others and help them get to where they want to be too? Are you in a ride that’s leaking energy or giving it? Have the driver landed rockets … Continue reading Your Vehicles, your results, your relationships →
Illusions about having time Illusions about time, smoke and mirrors we do to ourselves In this episode I share some thoughts about time You might also want to take a look on this talk on youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPaS85IA6oY Before You Waste Time – WATCH THIS | by Jay Shetty 2018-05-08
You matter. You Belong. Be[come] Remarkable It’s up to you to think thru WHO you want to belong with. Not making that choice will make you belong somewhere, regardless. Others depend on you making a choice that matters for both of you. Sometimes it helps us to make that choice by using another work. Being … Continue reading You matter You belong. Be Remarkable →
Inciting Action is often better than all the data and insights in the world For perhaps 20 years I was fooled by the lure of big data, business intelligence and ”forknowing” stuff. What I learned, eventually, however slow I was is that although insight is important. And data is important, especially in our current, algorithm … Continue reading Inciting Action is often better than all the data and insights in the world →
Options and being comfortable now versus a better state later Options. We all want Options. Often one of the best ways of ensuring we keep having the best options making a choice of not allowing to many options when doing the work that matters. Embracing some discomfort now that we’re very comfortable and don’t “need” … Continue reading Options and being comfortable now versus a better state later →
continuing the talk on Infinite and finite games. game Windows and the dont wait game. If its a stupid game stop playing it. ignore sunk cost. doesnt matter how long you’ve been playing it. The ONE thinh that matters is it giving you what you want?
Level up your infinite game with your finite games Some of my ramblings on what is an infinite game and why should you care. What I think is not relevant and doent matter. What matters is what you think, and if this mindset change your behaviour? Some examples of the difference mindset of an infinite … Continue reading Level up your infinite game with your finite games →
Discomfort precede change I struggle alot with sounding “Energetic” in my voice on my podcast. This episode contains some thoughts around the discomfort that always precedes change. Because change doesn’t happen without discomfort. If that would be the case you’d be there already. What discomfort do you struggle with that is worth it for the … Continue reading Discomfort precede →
Who would miss the work you put at their table? Infinite and finite games Who would miss what that you put on their table, in your unique way, your style, your methods? Who would miss you if you were gone? What game are you playing and why? I hope you’ve got to celebrate a great … Continue reading Who would miss the work you put at their table? Infinite and finite games →
Treat everyone you meet as a volunteer “Accept the fact that you need to treat everyone like a volunteer”. Is a quote by Peter Drucker ..if you want to help THEM, thus you, discover and unleash THEIR potential. You cant fully control that process. But you can encourage it. You can direct the energy and … Continue reading Treat everyone you meet as a volunteer →
3 games that matter 3 seats of power 3 Games that matter inner game: the why you play, the words you use in your head. outer game: current game/result you bring others infinite game: 3 seats of power relationship power knowledge power authority/role power Your Chosen Position And the position from where you … Continue reading 3 games, 3 seats of power →
Are you ready? .. for opportunity when it comes knocking on YOUR door? I surely wasn’t, for most of the times when it’s been past my door. LINK For example when I was interviewed by John on his EOfire podcast. Having then more than a million downloads that scared me into doing nothing more than … Continue reading Are you ready? →
Learn more – know less It isn’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble, its what you know for sure, that just aint so Quote Mark Twain Its important to focus on the learning part of ourself. Niches come and go. Business come and are great at first but most markets … Continue reading Learn more – know less →
Dare to ask questions. Dare to question your own worldview. Dare to help others see what you see, still respecting their perspective. Dare to speak out loud to a friend why you might be wrong. Dare to help others by showing your vulnerability in what you know and what you don’t. There is power in … Continue reading Dare to ask questions. Dare to question your own worldview. Dare to help others see what you see →
What if you behaved like your manager, client or customer payed you double for your results? Your ability to ask yourself the important questions determines more than you think. Treat your clients, customers, managers like they pay you a lot more than you do. How would you behave differently if that was the case? What’s … Continue reading Behave like your manager, client or customer pay you double for your result →
Borrowing Happiness from tomorrow. Making the best of today to enjoy both now and tomorrow Uncomfortable now rather than resentful later – by Brene brown Don’t shrink, don’t Puff. Brave and vulnerable at the same time. Healthy Boundaries When was the last time you choose to set a boundary by choosing to be uncomfortable now … Continue reading Borrowing Happiness from tomorrow →
Eye of the Beholder Your life is how you perceive it, not how you see it Everything is a projection. Both from you onto others, and others onto you. Like Einstein said “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts” We’re all biased. Own that when you communicate. … Continue reading Eye of the Beholder →
Owning your Strength i talk some about one worldview of “owning your strength” What is yours? and how do you embrace that worldview? This episode is very different. This is because I took a course last week called VideoLabs over at VideoCreators.com So today’s episode will actually be the audio-version my videos on YouTube … Continue reading Owning your Strength →
Lending some introduction and creating passion examples from the Computer Game world. For example perhaps you want to introduce your spouse to computer game play? It’s a lot of the same synergies you want when introducing someone to your office. You want to connect to what matters to them to create passion, commitment and understanding … Continue reading Introduction to ComputerGames or new recruit at office →
The Magic of Delegating Better Save time and build peoples potential at the same time? Build relationships and get better results at the same time? Does this sound too good to be true? Try it and you’ll see for yourself. The only thing is. You won’t get a perfect alignment with things you delegate. You … Continue reading The Magic of Delegating Better →
State of Play: Focus on the relationships that matter Play is often used for doing better work, getting better revenue with innovative new ideas. Play is also often used to build teams, develop trust and enhancing effective behaviour. Its also very powerful when used at home, to deepen the relationship with those that matter the … Continue reading State of Play: Focus on the relationships that matter →
One Focus Work on one project at a time. its the kind AND focused way towards accomplishing greatness What are you working on that’s got you most fired up? Questions like that I ask all the time. A trend I notice among my most successful friends is they rarely list a bunch of “I want … Continue reading One Focus →
Sleep affects the results of most things. Yet it’s so easy to keep pushing investing in it forward. If you’re lucky to have a few days of vacation right now. Don’t trade your chance for some extra sleep away for all the attention seeking platforms out there. Instead of sitting up following a trail of … Continue reading Invest in your sleep – investing in better results, connections & empathy →
Time with your most important people.. and what story the data tells Blissful time with your most important people? Check your stats and think again.. Christmas is coming up. Remind yourself to be there slightly more than usual for those you care about. Be mindful, present and let a few of those noises rest until … Continue reading Time with your most important people.. and what story the data tells →
Exceptions to the rule. Dangers and inspiration Beware there be dragons here. Exceptions to the rule. Something we often long to become. Personally. While I deep to my core help people consistently grow their potential, by stretching all they are right now I still believe the media bombardments of “Exceptions to the rule” is the … Continue reading Exceptions to the rule. Dangers and inspiration →
Asking Right – a few thoughts on how to ask questions: For advice or anything else. We are living in wonderful times. It’s easier than ever to connect with people around the globe getting help and advice. I believe must of us humans’ wants to help. IF everything else is equal we will do the … Continue reading Asking Right →
Your Attention in the modern age and how it affects your relationships and everything Are you in control of your attention investments? I think not, I sure know I am struggling with the modern noise out there. Right now there is a near infinite set of algorithms out there working to seer you away from … Continue reading Your Attention in the modern age and how it affects your relationships and everything →
Your Compass and your Map-Making skills, your maps Legends and your ability to share Vision of what may be Are you trying to follow a map when really need your compass more because the map is outdated? Are you daring to put a flag down helping others get there safely, within budget and time? … Continue reading Your Compass and your Map-Making skills, your maps Legends and your ability to share Vision of what may be →
Clarity, Clarity, Clarity – only then communicate Think “What is it for?” “WHO is this for?” Before you speak, before you plan, before you execute. For example, when talking in order to get things to happen: Own the emotions Own your body language Own your words Own your results its your responsibility if you keep … Continue reading Clarity, Clarity, Clarity – only then communicate →
What’s YOUR style of play? This is not a quickfix/howto podcast harvesting on fear of loss, need for guarantees or checklist. When I was a young leader of my first team I was desperately longing for a quick checklist to follow. Something that could guarantee if I followed its guidance I’d be great manager … Continue reading What’s YOUR style of play? This is not a quickfix/howto podcast harvesting on fear of loss, need for guarantees or checklist. →
The gap between ambition and effort-level. If there is a gap they become disconnected and thus not feeding each other energy. This can sound something along these lines, but I’m sure you have heard countless others just like it. “I want to be a star at X, I’m just waiting for the next idol program … Continue reading The gap between ambition and effort-level →
Choosing Your Manager, Clients, Students, Customers – basically who you want to serve and why I tap again on the theme, you are the company you choose. And I want to highlight “your manager.” Who are the people you’re serving? If you are going to ask yourself right now, is he or she helping you … Continue reading Choosing Your Manager, Clients, Students, Customers – basically who you want to serve and why →
Your time mostly comes from your actions You are your own source more than anyone else. Don’t blame others for where you are. Step up to the responsibility of being you, or at least closer to it right now. You become the company you keep. Ask yourself. Those you invest most time with do … Continue reading Your time mostly comes from your actions →
Bimodal organisation Development & Digital Transformation still require a People First mindset How BiModal are your organisation percentage wise? How much do you “experiment” to learn a better new normal? How well do you know your people so you know who wants to embrace the mode 1 or our organisation and the mode 2. You … Continue reading Bimodal organisation Development & Digital Transformation still require a People First mindset →
Deflecting – Connect or Disconnect, dont deflect Some thoughts on inner and outer deflections and what this does to your ability to connect. Acknowledge the beam of positive energy sent to you. Dare to look into the face of your scary monsters, doubt or shame and you’ll find new ways to get the important job … Continue reading Deflecting – Connect or Disconnect, dont deflect →
This is just an extra episode celebrating International Podcast Day You’re listening to the 185th episode of Relationship Power at work. I started podcasting 4 years ago. Please check out the live celebration here. I hope you find another podcast that helps you even more in your daily life. https://internationalpodcastday.com
Digital Transformation, Operational BI and the importance of infrastructure and well oiled listening processes Now is the time to really thank the heroes at infrastructure for their hard work, because it’s about to pay off when all organisations starts to realize “information is their most valuable asset” alongside with the digital transformation required to … Continue reading Digital Transformation, Operational BI and the importance of infrastructure and well oiled listening processes →
A tribute to Seth Godin’s altMBA Some thoughts its lasting effects now two years after attending Mars 2016 I completed Seth Godin’s alltMBA, it was the 4th time Seth held it. I’ve learned, applied and had great success with Seth’s advices over the years so joining was an easy choice, even if the course was … Continue reading A tribute to Seth Godin’s altMBA →
Train your imagination – What you are unaware of controls your options I’d claim your most important thing is your imagination, combined with your focused attention and execution How often do you explore “what may be”? Are you executing on your ideas? Like Tony Robbins say “stay in your head and you’re dead” You can’t … Continue reading Train your imagination – What you are unaware of controls your options →
The Purpose of Analytics is Change. Listen to the 4+Arrows within every dot on every graph The Purpose of Analytics is Change. It’s not enough to become aware. It’s not enough to sit on the IT side of this only, you need to help to make it happen. It’s not enough to predict the optimal … Continue reading The Purpose of Analytics is Change. Listen to the 4+Arrows within every dot on every graph →
Analytics & algorithms – enhancing beyond your own direct experience Can you Trust your own direct experience as an answer for the future? You can’t trust algorithms blindly, yet you’re unaware of how they’re used EVERYWHERE in ways that affect you way more than you know. Yet often some KPI’s become so important and untouchable, … Continue reading Analytics & algorithms – enhancing beyond your own direct experience →
Come Storms, Ebb, Tide and high water – I will be here lighting your path toward this position Sometimes metaphors gets a picture in our head that is so energizing we just have to act on it. In this episode I talk about the waves of time in your life. How we all encounter high … Continue reading Come Storms, Ebb, Tide and high water – I will be here lighting your path toward this position →
Embrace your draft: responsibly & publicly Dont hide behind a draft, make it real. Dont hide behind perfect, share your draft. Ship something today that will help someone else. This episode is actually two episodes. One the one listed here, and behind it, after it. The one I recorded first, then felt was not worthy … Continue reading Embrace your draft: responsibly & publicly →
Effects of having a contingency plan BEFORE you need it What’s a contingency plan for you? For me it’s all about maintaining the ability to execute effectively. Its easy to get lost in agreements, SLA:s, technology or just the mental idea confusing “keeping busy” with what is actually generating results. When you are starting business … Continue reading Effects of having a contingency plan BEFORE you need it →
Encourage, Encourage, Encourage – don’t punish instead be clear and positive about the future Encouragement is mightier than compliance long-term. Try to catch yourself whenever you get carried away in frustration, or anger this is just your short-term behaviour that most often will hurt the long term potential. The alternative cost of you venting your … Continue reading Encourage, Encourage, Encourage – don’t punish instead be clear and positive about the future →
Exponential results ways to get that 1% behavior that yields 99% of your result Seneca said “Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity” – Are YOU ready for opportunity with 99 times your current results AND saving your most scarce resourse, time, while embracing it? Does Routine Really Help Us Get to Our Goals? … Continue reading Exponential results – ways to get that 1% behavior that yields 99% of your result →
Seeing things from others, zoomed-out perspective. Clients perspectives, your customers perspective and your own perspective. Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. Quote Albert Einstein We often get so entangled with the people around us that we sometimes forget that no-one else ever align with us … Continue reading Seeing things from others, zoomed-out perspective. →
Doves & Hawks, Relationship Power and the Fast, Connected Economy or the Curves of Evolution in the Fast Instant Access Connected Economy Doves and hawks are both adorable species. And we can learn from them as well especially for the early managers. What would you like to become? A hawk? Or a dove? Why … Continue reading Doves & Hawks, Relationship Power and the Fast, Connected Economy →
Know your people – and some thoughts on KPIs, metrics and measurements ..or Key Metrics Performance Indicators when the order to “Round Down Cost” inevitably comes This is a managers’s guide on leveraging key metrics on getting to know their people effective behaviour better. This will also help you improve your relationship at work by … Continue reading Know your people – and some thoughts on KPIs, metrics and measurements →
Behaviour Follows Assumptions – You become the company you keep The power of the group you surround yourself with are strong. Imagine positive intent. Do you surround yourself with people who imagine the positive intent of others? I’m asking yourself right now – who comes to mind that does that? Do you draw blank? Does … Continue reading Behaviour Follows Assumptions – You become the company you keep →
How to Create a Deeper Relationship with Your Online Audience with Cliff Ravenscraft “We have the power within ourselves to literally change the world.” – Cliff In this episode, we will learn about how to create a powerful and positive impact to your online audience. Cliff will talk about how to deepen your relationship with … Continue reading How to Create a Deeper Relationship with Your Online Audience with Cliff Ravenscraft →
Freedom can best be created before you need it – leaving that choice to others will make you a commodity. The Digital Era In these fast paced, digital era, most of the things that we do has an equivalent of a software or app that makes things easier for us. It’s scary and wonderful at … Continue reading Freedom can best be created before you need it – leaving that choice to others will make you a commodity. →
Intention and Attention Train in guarding your attention. It’s the lifeblood of all of us. If we’re mindful of our attention we choose if we should feel inspired or judged by another person’s comments, behaviour or achievements. Your awareness about yourself is what makes you get energy or loose it whenever you see that carrot … Continue reading Intention and Attention →
Go Beyond your muscle failure. Build your business and character like a personal trainer. Go Beyond yourself often towards muscle failure. That’s the only time growth happen. Power speed reading, comfort zone extending, processes, group development anything. if you find yourself succeeding most of the time take bigger steps, if not then take smaller steps … Continue reading Go Beyond your muscle failure. Build your business and character like a personal trainer. →
My weird honors your weird The bell curve has changed thanks to the internet, the connection economy and “near instant access” to most things. It’s easier than ever before to make an impact, to help people beyond the horizon. When I grew up we all tried to conform to the same norm. Marketing was loud … Continue reading My weird honours your weird →
Take your positions – Who do you want to help and why? There is a reason why the instructions tell you to put on the air mask on yourself FIRST: Before helping your kid, friend or co-worker. Without Air, you will quickly forget the long-term priorities, and you can make things worse while you’re unable … Continue reading Take your positions – Who do you want to help and why? →
Tension, Empathy & Sympathy – Responsibility from different perspectives Empathy. Seeing the perspective of others. Walking in someone else’s shoes. Dare to face the unknown of the minds of those around you. Dare to embrace that they might think you’re wrong. They might be right, and you’re not. Embracing that you’re having an impact on … Continue reading Tension, Empathy & Sympathy – Responsibility from different perspectives →
Exciting times – What’s exciting for you might not be exciting for someone else We’re living in exciting times. I’m sure every generation before me has said the same words, felt the same. What I’m thinking on right now specifically is the instant auto feedback we’ve got available for becoming better. Live feedback in our … Continue reading Exciting times – What’s exciting for you might not be exciting for someone else →
Why are you doing this? Why High Standards help you – Why Commitment increase attention Quite often I get the question “why do you do this?” Some talk about “why the commitment on consistency” others “why for free when you have people who are thankful for the opportunity to pay you for your knowledge … Continue reading Why are you doing this? Why High Standards help you – Why Commitment increase attention →
Throughput thoughts Some thoughts on intention and results, and the passage required to archive it. This is high and low, tech and people. I guess some people would call it random ramblings. Some thoughts on email/phone/video/actual meeting Phone thumbs throughput and making replies easy and effective. Delegation, effect and not being superman. Or that if … Continue reading Throughput thoughts →
Full Contact play with your Anti-thesis Get the habit of embracing an anti-thesis to your belief every now and then to deepen your learning on your topic, or that it’s time to leave while “on top” Perhaps get together over dinner with some mastermind friends on a yearly basis and ask everyone to bring a … Continue reading Full Contact play with your Anti-thesis →
Right now forces are gathering to make you a commodity. It already happened all around you. Uber, Spotify, Travel-agents etc. The middleman is cut out and a proxy service is censoring out everything that doesn’t adapt. In the consultant nice, we have consultant brokers, offshore resources and a lot of things helping clients get their … Continue reading thoughts on becomming a commodity and choosing your position →
When presenting a week back I got the question by a person in the audience on any advice in becoming awarded by eWork just like I did. (ework awarded me Consultant of year 2013) My reply was a recommendation to not chase awards. Instead focus on working towards excellence at your chosen trade. Focus on … Continue reading Race don’t chase – some thoughts on awards →
Mind your attitude – let go of labels I believe you, me and most of us need to constantly remind yourself before the mindset becomes the new normal for us, the new natural. When you start to take action your mind will resist, will encourage you in all sorts of ways to step aside, to … Continue reading Mind your attitude – let go of labels →
The Power of a Delta.txt file of how things should and could be When you’re starting new, for example at a new site, new employer or anything you’re in a golden situation to see the patterns in the workplace with a fresh eye. Perhaps you’re noting that everyone is walking across the river to collect … Continue reading The Power of a Delta.txt file of how things should and could be →
Simple – not easy Simple and Easy is not the same ting yet I find that over the years most people confuse the too, sometimes myself included. We want easy yet we already know the recipe for what we want is simple. Rarely is it as easy as an instant success because if that … Continue reading Simple – not easy →
Gratefulness & Respect – your choice of words matter Gratefulness serves you in so many ways beyond here and now. Let is invigor you with energy and joy that benefits others too. Let it give you a forward motion for what you have not yet accomplished but will be done with before today is done. … Continue reading Gratefulness & Respect – your choice of words matter →
You don’t need a big chunk of time to start. Are you sure you’re not waiting and wasting valuable time investments. In essence, are you stuck in the prelude to your own life? Its easy that Works becomes the main chapters in our book, when in reality you CAN build something small steps by … Continue reading Your Life is not a prologue, don’t wait, the time is now →
Digital Connections, and the power of the system and our emotions of feeling connected. Right now we’re attention flooded. Many use systems to keep up with friends. We no longer use DIRECT-CONNECTION to most things we depend on today. Despite we know that face-to-face meeting delivers the most metadata in our discussion, with a loss … Continue reading Digital Connections, and the power of the system and our emotions of feeling connected. →
There is a message for you everywhere. If you’re looking for it you’ll always find a lesson, anywhere, at all times, from everyone If you’re actively looking for it, I also believe people around you will bloom in areas unexpected. Helping both you and them connect better AND get more done. Are you listening?
You become the company you keep Another way of saying it is “you are the average of the X people you spend the most time with.” I believe WHO you invest the most of your time with is the most important decision of your life. In the right company most things seem easy. Often you … Continue reading You become the company you keep →
Time is your most precious investment – become aware Where you invest your time, and furthermore WHO you invest your time with is the most important decision in your life. It affects everything. The impact you will have on this world, your health and achievements just to name a few. Life if full of … Continue reading time is your most precious investment – become aware →
Listen for what is not said + John Lee Dumas Entrepreneurs on Fire second Kickstarter How often do you actively listen for what is NOT being said? Focus on what the data is saying, not the highest talker Focus on what the body is doing, instead of the head is saying Focus on your intended … Continue reading Listen for what is not said + John Lee Dumas Entrepreneurs on Fire second Kickstarter →
We’re in an Age of Instant Access and Connection Analytics – food for thoughts Instant Access to so many things today, and yet more is coming every day. How does that affect relationship building and the power to help more people get what they want? Today most of us live in a connection economics economy. … Continue reading Age of Instant Access and Connection Analytics →
Meta-Memory, Meta-Me – Self-confusion and Clarity, Psychosynthesis & Imagery Exercises Some say our Memory is “us”, that we are the core of what we remember. Your achievements, friends who has always been there for you and the people, activities and things you love. Study after study prove we can’t trust our memory. Yet most … Continue reading Meta-Memory, Meta-Me – Self-confusion and Clarity, Psychosynthesis & Imagery Exercises →
It’s wonderful living in the world of Instant Access like we’re doing right now. And Virtual Reality can really help build a connection to the individuals around us , but we also have to remember to build live connections around us. If we don’t really “need” anyone since we get everything delivered tailored to us … Continue reading Age of Access, Virtual Reality and Digital_Twins →
Nobody owes you is a mindset that often helps us build better relationships. Owning how we respond and act to feelings that emerge within us will change your life trajectory more than anything. Complaining about someone else getting a promotion that you long for won’t make your own results any better. Ask yourself instead if … Continue reading Nobody owes you is a mindset that often helps us build better relationships →
Connection is a feeling – Christmas and other Rare activities Most often its thru feeling we connect to people. And what we connect to in a story is most often individually. I’ve had people come up to me after a talk saying they appreciated my show of vulnerability, others from the exact same words … Continue reading Connection is a feeling – Christmas and other Rare activities →
Talking about performance to make behaviours more effective with authenticity and without acting Performance, when we’re taking on an act we are really distancing ourselves from people. It’s the total opposite from connecting with people. Yet, during the 20+ years I’ve attended leadership classes there’s always some that wants the quick-check list as if … Continue reading Talking about performance, behaviours and effect →
Gratitude for others no? Benefits of making it easy for others to say no. Embracing reality for a new, more effective way I deeply believe in focusing on the one thing until success (quote from my friend John Lee Dumas) and I’ve had multiple casts about the power of saying no. Say no, guarding … Continue reading Gratitude for others no? Benefits of making it easy for others to say no. →
VR – Virtual Reality means business of Generosity, might even help move away from Self-centredness I believe the most common way to major success is helping others. Letting go of that self-centredness that envelop us all when we are in deep stress for example. And I’m sure you feel that it’s not distributed equally around … Continue reading Virtual Reality means business of Generosity, might even help move away from Self-centredness →
Virtual Reality effects on Business and relationship building Corporations invests enormous amounts of “could have been results” into meetings, and most of those are over the phone, web conferences and other semi-virtual ways to connect. Globalisations have increased this way of working even more. At the same time, most of us are aware of the … Continue reading Virtual Reality effects on Business and relationship building →
Help-Others and Self-Help I often think about how come the amount of teachings around “Helping Others” is not anything near the amount of exposure of people, method and processes to “Self-Help”. When I looked at Categories in two different Quote-Sites I found 300 “Helping Others” Quotes and 4000 for “Self-Help”. Likewise when I shopped digital … Continue reading Help-Others and Self-Help →
Your way is understandable Sometimes it feels hard to accept the method of path taken by someone else. Accept their way, their reasoning. Doesn’t mean you have to accept the results OR hurts or thinks you see in your perspective along their way, along their path, along your projection of their path. That’s the … Continue reading Your way is understandable →
Attention Waste – Is Your Time Investments and efforts making a difference for the better? The most brilliant minds of our era invests their time and attention in creating better and better clickbait to get everyone else to invest time and attention “ON” their clickbait and the tracking trail it generates in pursue of revenue. … Continue reading Attention Waste – Is Your Time Investments and efforts making a difference for the better? →
Information wants to be free That is one of the “Alternatives” to the info, status or just Social talk you are having right now. Another way of seeing it is, consider this the “alternative cost” in what you COULD have compared to what you might be getting right now. Notice the difference when … Continue reading Information wants to be free →
Relationship Power and other Powers Relationship Power. Role Power. Authority Power. Situational powers. Accidental powers. Temporary powers. Don’t let unawareness put other in powerful situations for you. Don’t forget that there is most often a COST for you when using a power. For example if you forget that it’s your responsibility to ensure you have … Continue reading Relationship Power and other Powers →
Speed determines the value of almost EVERYTHING value, and every connection Everything has a game window, everyone you talk or don’t talk to. Everything you do or don’t do. Time to Market. Start backwards from when its needed, not from when its “possible” to start. Learning to speak before or after a visiting a country … Continue reading Speed determines the value of almost EVERYTHING value, and every connection →
Turning Visible – creating trust A small talk on how sometimes trying to hide something makes a crater for all to see, making it harder to see who we really are beyond it. sometimes helping too much or too little makes us less visible, Making it harder to connect to the work that matters. Making … Continue reading Turning Visible – creating trust →
Seek to invest most of your time with Grateful Action takers You’re really the average of the five people you spend the most time. Who you spend your time with is one of the most important decisions to keep up with in your life. Your time is the only resouce you cant get more … Continue reading Seek to invest most of your time with Grateful Action takers →
Embraceing your Potential consists of a lot of things, below is just a few of them. I personally dont think it matters where you start though, as long as you start thinking about it, start acting to become it. This cast is dedicated to exploring your potential from these angles. Imagination is often the … Continue reading Embraceing your Potential →
Own your results – own your communication Manager-tools.com often talk about “communication is what the listener does”. So what does this mean for you? For me it means that if I dont get the behaviour or effect I want there is NO point in ever saying “I’ve told you before”. If I’m not getting what … Continue reading Own your results – own your communication →
Refueling others Where does your fuel and generator of energy align with those around you? What does those around you get fuel from and how can you help them get more of it without it costing others? is that energy constantly renewing or does it drain out for you or those around you?
What fuels you? What fuels those around you? Most often we do things, without really thinking, about what gives us fuel. Where in this activity does my energy really come from? If it comes at all? It’s easy to think we get energy from an activity when we’re really just appreciating the feeling after compliments, … Continue reading What fuels you? What fuels those around you? →
Delayed Reward, Alternative Costs – Build your relationships for the long run if you seek to maximize what you get out of someone thats rarely relationship-building. thats transactions and might work in the short run but rarely in the long run. (this isnt in the cast but when I’m writing this I’m thinking of “why … Continue reading Delayed Reward, Alternative Costs – Build your relationships for the long run →
Listen to people but trust the numbers – Ensure you measure the right thing for others, not just whats easy to measure or makes you look good. Continous measurement makes you look trustworthy. Its easier to trust a currently bad number when you know you can trust the good ones too. Than seeing a good … Continue reading Listen to people but trust the numbers →
Recruiting – when to say no, NO and when to say yes. A quick cast about three thoughts on recruiting. I personally find this worth thinking about for recruiters AND anyone that wants more out of work. And I’m not talking just about more results out of work. Just my ideas – the important … Continue reading Recruiting – when to say no, NO and when to say yes →
it’s not about you Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that everything isn’t about me. Sometimes people around you behave in ways that makes things difficult for you. Making it hard for you to “imagine positive intent” when you see the effect if has on your results. People didn’t start their activity aiming to ruin … Continue reading it’s not about you – focus on the behaviour you can change not the stuff you cant →
Credentials Decay, Results last longer. Change is the only constant In todays modern world credentials isn’t what it used to be so its more important than ever to show your results. To quickly help others see what results you can help them archive by listing your accomplishments AND your ability to listen hard and change … Continue reading Credentials Decay, Results last longer. Change is the only constant →
Give first individually, Listen first – Relationship power comes later Schedule five minutes every day to just get to know the people around you. Listen hard to what they value and make a note of sharing anything you think might help them, might help them archive their dreams, their family. Small or big.
Listening beyond what isn’t being said The most important thing in communication is listening for what isn’t being said according to Peter Drucker. Listen for the silence We all carry invisible baggage into our meetings. Those can both make it harder and easier to connect to someone. Words in the present conversations can take a … Continue reading Listening beyond what isn’t being said →
Commitment , Control & Contribution and the speed of Trust Most of us was trained in compliance as a kid for countless of hours. Hours that could have been invested into training us to instead in seeking ways to contribute in our own unique way to help others and ourselves. Many of us has also … Continue reading Commitment , Control & Contribution and the speed of Trust →
Envy and gratitude Envy is a human emotion that is easy to fall prey to. It can be harnessed to make you do more, make you archive move but my experience it’s one of the more common paths to the dark side (sounds like I’m quoting Start Wars doesnt it?) Envy can easily cause splinters … Continue reading Envy and gratitude →
What work really matters when you strip everything else away? What will live beyond you? This cast is about your inner question of what what is important to you beyond all that urgency, all that noise? its a powerful question and only you hold the answer
Grit and Generosity I really believe Generosity is a great compass towards your success. Ask yourself where in your life, where you invest hard work in creating things, You still don’t you mind others carbon copy your work and using it to help other people. Of course we have to set boundaries to our time … Continue reading Grit and Generosity →
Let Go – one way to become free to invite the new What and where is your safe haven? Who would you invite there and why? How can you get more of that and share that with others?
Most things that matter to use on a deeper level lies beyond our own comfort zone. Accept your discomfort, and the feelings from it. Its OK. We all experience that. Then take a step to dare to look and act beyond those feelings and eventually that which was beyond you, is now your new normal.
If your job and results where a fantasy story. Would you do anything differently? – if so why, where and for whom? Sometimes playing with our mind is a great way to open up thoughts that might linger beyond what we logically can access. Sometimes we mentally shield ourselves for allowing thinking certain thoughts … Continue reading if your job and results where a fantasy story – Would you do anything differently? – if so why, where and for whom? →
Mirrors and actions beyond Reflection Your actions and attitude to others speak way more about you than your mirror’s reflection. Its worth reflecting over that reflection. Sometimes I think most of us often try to catch a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror – wondering what others think of our appearance. Yet at the … Continue reading Mirrors and actions beyond Reflection →
Sometimes you encounter the dark side of helping people. Sometimes you invest your generosity into people who does the opposite back. How do you deal with it?
Breathing – Cure of Stress and giver of Focus, Clarity and shape Breathing is a great cure for stress. Take four deep breaths and your worldview might change. Of course it won’t change the world. But your new mindset, clarity and actions on the new insight might. It might help you see things more clearly. … Continue reading Breathing – Cure of Stress and giver of Focus, Clarity and shape →
Projecting yourself onto other people – beyond the effect you probably want Take a minute to think about your own patters. What do you usually notice about the world? What does that tell you about yourself and your values? How would you like it to be? How can you help others change things that … Continue reading Projecting yourself onto other people – beyond the effect you probably want →
Opportunity Stress We live in a world of abundance. You can do so much. One person can change (parts of) the world. This is a perspective of Alternative Cost, and just some thoughts on stress and fear of uncontrollability from the great book The Unthinkable – who survives when disaster strikes and why www.amazon.com/Unthinkable-survives-when-disaster-strikes-ebook/dp/B0031RS9NY … Continue reading Opportunity Stress →
Criticism is futile in driving change I’m re listening to “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie – I do that every 5th year or so. A great way to remind myself – and to pick up thing I wasn’t ready to notice a perspective on earlier in my life. I very … Continue reading Criticism is futile in driving change →
Life can be unexpected short – Show gratitude while you can. Life is change. People you take for granted might not be near you tomorrow. Due to health, change of job, friends moving out of town or anything might happen. Embrace reality while you have it. Take care of your body. Reality is brutal. Life … Continue reading Life can be unexpected short – Show gratitude while you can →
I am defined by my fears and strengths – by not limited to neither I think both our strengths AND your fears easily puts us in corners that we are not aware off. Embrace our fears – don’t try to push it away. likewise aim for not trying to be limited by it. Easier said … Continue reading I am defined by my fears and strengths – by not limited to neither →
I (Ric) interviews John Lee Dumas from EntrepreneurOnFire on how to connect to raving fans, Leadership and getting results. We talked about “if you want to BE, DO!” and its ok not to be great when you start, if you keep doing, you will become better. We also talked some about generosity + the power … Continue reading interview with John Lee Dumas EntrepreneurOnFire →
Learn to Learn new things – climbing example When learning new things – its easy to forget how much more power someone who is skilled can have than a beginner. its so easy to cling to what you think is effective instead of daring to try embracing the bigger way. Look for what is working … Continue reading Learn to Learn new things – climbing example →
Embrace tension, potential strength, Life and the longbow idea of requirements of change Just some ramblings about comparing life to a longbow, tension to stress. all stress being inner stress. About becomming aware if that tension is healthy and when you should apply it, and when the tension is really robbing you and others … Continue reading Embrace tension, potential strength, Life and the longbow idea of requirements of change →
Communicate on the level they want AND the level you need for effect. DiSC is one way to become more aware of your communication strengths and how they are perceived by others. And how you can adapt your style to those you talk to for a way better effect
Celebrating 100 episodes I’m giving away 3×10 Leadership Coaching Sessions + 30 kindle books and talking about Be Generous & Walk Your Talk. ..and some “be kind to yourself” when starting to drive change. it’s tough in the beginning but it gets easier as we keep showing up to do the work. 100 episodes already? … Continue reading 100 episodes – giving away 3×10 Leadership Coaching Sessions + 30 kindle books – Be Generous & Walk Your Talk →
Stuck is just most often just a mindset “From where I am now I can’t see my way forward” – this talk is about why I love climbing and how much benefit I have had from my mindsets trained when climbing – in both relationship building as well in business Leaving a safe foothold always … Continue reading Stuck is just most often just a mindset →
Neutral or criticize and its potential cost and rewards Some thoughts of the potential in all the people you meet and all the things they may create – and what your actions can behaviour can create or prevent from appearing if you are not thinking about it
The Power of Enthusiasm for others Enthusiasm is amazing. It’s a great way to connect to other people. It’s a great source of insight and awareness. It’s a great fun way to be curious and take action. And it’s a great way to start most things. Connect to your own Enthusiasm first – … Continue reading The Power of Enthusiasm for others Enthusiasm is amazing. →
Selfishly Generous A lot of studies show that generosity really pays of in health. long life. opportunities. The list is long. What would make a difference for you? in summary: here is some encouragement for you to help others This cast is yet again about being generous to those around you, and for all kinds … Continue reading Selfishly Generous →
Tap into the larger conversation. The one in yourself, the one in your organisation and the ones going on by your customers. Tap into that, align with it and you will find both a great connection and great energy for taking initiative for the better. For you and those around you. Listen for it … Continue reading Tap into the larger conversation →
Listening Brands, Mini-Audience – always adapt your message to the individual to get the effect you want. The Power of Data might be shining most clearing when it comes to Marketing but its heading into HR and alot of other departments as well. Constant A/B testing will prove so many thesis and anti-thesis wrong (or … Continue reading Listening Brands: How Data is Rewriting the Rules of Branding →
When to Create Commitment first – Compliance second Podcast Episode #93 Don’t limit yourself to get compliance from people. It might feel like you are connecting around compliance . It might feel secure and easy but you are losing out of what may be. For both yourself and for them. For both current and future … Continue reading When to Create Commitment first – Compliance second →
Reflect over your time investments this year – What could you do differently? Time is the one resouce you never get back. It cannot be managed, only tasks and results can be prioritized in how you invest your time. Thats why I believe that reflection of how we spend our time, and if we’re … Continue reading Reflect over your time investments this year – What could you do differently? →
Be the change you want – Take action instead of just assuming how you think things “should” be Be the change you want to see in the world – quote Ghandi (not Dalai Lama that I said in the cast, sorry) In this cast I talk about how easy we get stuck just “assuming” … Continue reading Be the change you want – instead of assuming how you think things “should” be →
Un-awareness controls your options Help yourself and others to awareness, insights and transform those to actions and awareness for those actions feedback. What you are unaware off controls your options. Examples: * Personal Trainer – she asks me to lift this heavy object, or to pull myself up a ledge. And then she observes … Continue reading Un-awareness controls your options →
Trust – is in my humble opinion, everything in Relationship Power. Without it you have nothing. With it you both have a great, great help in most storms. So strong a thing – yet so brittle, so easily shattered in the beginner of a meeting. And in a team trust is absolutely essential for building … Continue reading Trust →
Fragile Puzzle Parts of Life, relationships and results All of us are building multiple puzzles. Take a break to reflect on YOUR most important puzzle. NOT ALL pieces are interchangeable. I’m for what manager tools always say. – Family First. If you break those sometime fragile puzzle bits you can’t replace them. Others you can. … Continue reading Fragile Puzzle Parts of Life, relationships and results →
You might have noticed that I have Generosity as part of my intro and that its something I mention quite often. That’s of course because I find it some important. Today I want to encourage you to be generous to yourself. And I’m not talking about in a grab at the expense of others way. … Continue reading Generosity and its powers – helps yourself and others grow towards your potential →
Recognizable You + lessons learned from Phil Pallen and Lauren Moore You want people to be able to recognize your work as your work, and your clients to as well, recognize when something can’t be your work. Phil Pallen is a Brand Strategist who held a great talk at New Media Europe. I really … Continue reading Recognizable You + lessons learned from Phil Pallen and Lauren Moore →
The Power of Positive and Negative Pessimistic Thinking. I believe we live in a “connection economy” like Seth Godin started saying many years ago and nothing kills a connection with someone like pessimism. Pessimism not only kills your own creativity also kills the creativity of those around you. Positive thinking wears off, negative thinking sticks … Continue reading The Power of Pessimistic Thinking →
Dreams, Goalsettings, Plans and Life transformations Are you waiting for your dreams to come true and transform your life? Dreams rarely come true, but your goals can forever change your life.. You need to set goals in order turn your dreams into reality. Into your new normal Dreams can inspire you, but goals can change … Continue reading Dreams, Goalsettings, Plans and Life transformations →
Work always include reporting status – even if your boss doesn’t specify it you will build a better relationship with most managers by repeatedly report status and progress. Both Good and Bad. Excellent news and no new status news. If you do this routinely you will build trust and a great relationship I recommend you … Continue reading log your work – be transparent on status – to yourself and others →
Gratitude – share yours with others, let others share theirs in yours Allow yourself to feel your Gratidude for whatever it is. Why do you feel it? whats the smallest and biggest grain of it? Allow others to enjoy their own using your expressed gratitude. if you are given a compliment. accept it. say thanks … Continue reading Gratitude – share yours with others, let others share theirs in yours →
Leadership is about getting results and why to get them for yourself and others – not becoming something else just because books or courses tell you to Anyone can become a great leader. There is not any specific “type” or checkboxes to fill in order to become it. there is of course cause and effect … Continue reading Leadership is about getting results and why to get them for yourself and others →
Here are some novice thoughts (two simple points) on the power part in relationships and dating. I do not think I am the one to advice others on this, so I’m not really confortable with sharing this episode but friends tell me thats exacly why I should share it. I hope my newbie thoughts help … Continue reading The Power part in relationships and dating →
Make it easy for OTHERS to take action, not just you. Pushing it out of your plate is not getting it done. Its not the same thing as making progress. In this episode I talk about mini-small things to help others, and how it affects yourself too I the long run. I with share my … Continue reading Make it easy for the others to take action, not just you. Pushing it out of your plate is not getting it done. →
Everything gives relationship status feedback – even a simple hair coloring talk Here’s some more personal examples of why bother with Relationship development at work. And how we as owner of our own communication must be aware of how different mediums of communication affects us. For example Real Life meetings with someone you know … Continue reading Everything gives relationship status feedback – even a simple hair coloring talk →
Story Power – Choose your words with care, you are the author of your life story Story Power – what ARE you telling yourself? I think it was stories that taught me that we’re all a part of everything. No hero is 100% hero, no villain is 100% – its just hurt, generosity and stories … Continue reading Story Power – Choose your words with care, you are the author of your life story →
Your Expectations are your responsibility – Own them! No one other on this planet can fix your feelings, only you It’s your job to speak clearly, including tone of voice, body language, choices and actions. Be clear in your wishes. It’s your responsibility to help others understand what YOU want them to get for … Continue reading Your Expectations are your responsibility – Own them! →
Inner Games – Energy and Connection exploration of worth I every now and then get the question “How do I start” with “Connecting” to people? – Perhaps you’ve had a lot of work-colleagues but no real “close” work-mates. Perhaps you’re appreciated for your results, but having it hard to get that extra work-boost from your … Continue reading inner game – Energy and Connections worth exploring →
Courage to Stretch – Courage to rest I have decided, with help from friends and mentors to only continue sharing a podcast every Monday. Right now I have been doing twice a week, Monday and Thursdays. I have pushed myself to get here. I believe that is important when stretching your comfort zone. But you will … Continue reading Courage to Stretch – Courage to rest →
The Power of Questions and the feelings and energy they create My Greatest strengths as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions. – Peter Drucker I often get hired for my ability to archive results and teach better ways to organizations. But I would say I … Continue reading The Power of Questions and the feelings and energy they create →
You can do Anything but not Everything – Don’t spread yourself thin if you are an “over-helper/over-archiver” those that matter will love you and your results more when you say no to more things in favour of what you really want and quality in that, for yourself and others help others but try to be … Continue reading You can do Anything but not Everything →
what KIND of person would you like to BECOME we are all in on a journey of change we all have everything we need within us, we just let some of our inner need grow too strong sometimes, taking over instead of harnessing all that is you into that which is best for you. how … Continue reading what KIND of person would you like to BECOME? TEDx talk by Camillla TheFreeProject →
Time Entwined In summary for saving time: I’m sure you’ve heard people talk about “you’re the average about the 5 or 10 people” you spend your time with. it goes both ways. Help others grow and make sure you invest time in people who help you grow. “None of us control time, we can only … Continue reading Time Entwined – who is around you the most and how are they actively helping? →
Imagination – the power of what MAY be. I think this is one of the most energy giving activities that exists. What we all may be. What YOU MAY BECOME. What new “state of effect/process/whatever” you co-workers could share with you in the future. Imagination AND awareness is almost everything you need. What you are … Continue reading Imagination – the power of what MAY be →
This is a tribute from me to Cliff Ravenscraft and his amazing Podcasting A to Z course that you can find at PodcastAnswerMan.com. I also talk some very quick about why I created the testimonial – basically self awareness, taking actions in your life to help people you care about, and extending your comfortzone to … Continue reading Tribute from me to Cliff Ravenscraft and his amazing Podcasting A to Z course →
Everything in your life has a game window * Know what game you are playing * Know when it’s time to switch game rules .. or perhaps someone around you already HAS switched the ruleset without saying so? unaware or intentionally? * No game last forever. Time is always limited, use it when it gives … Continue reading Everything in your life has a game window – what game are you playing right now? →
Personal Why Examples – Complex Processes on a global scale – Revenue driving Labels in many thousands of shops all around the globe I am sharing some of my “Personal Why Examples” of benefits of Relationship Power at work. Its not free, its not instant reward – but in the end I think you … Continue reading Personal Why Examples – Complex Processes on a global scale – Revenue driving Labels in many thousands of shops all around the globe →
We all need to bond, from our first ever second to all of them throughout life. Especially when doing new, insecure things. I personally believe introverts also needs this. We just bond to different things. When I was young I was going thru a nightmare for years (from some perspectives, other parts where OK) and … Continue reading We all need to bond to something →
Teambuilding story – Why Bother with Relationship Power? I guess we all have to find out our own reasons for leading the way we lead, but here’s some thoughts about why I behave like I do. I love taking the initiative. I love helping others. I love inspiring myself and other to courage. I also … Continue reading Teambuilding story – Why Bother with Relationship Power? →
How to leave the table when there is not enough love coming from it? I believe in sharing the knowledge, power, compassion, courage, generosity and most stuff around that but there can be no power of any kind without saying no when you feel its required. But its also very important to know when its … Continue reading How to leave the table when there is not enough love coming from it →
Dont Fix it if it aint broken – listen for what others REALLY want fixing – otherwise its just about you, and that is rarely the best way to build Relation Power with anyone. Its important to let go of our own ideas. Even if you know you’re helping its very easily that we come … Continue reading Dont Fix it if it aint broken →
Guessing takes energy from Relationship Power. Don’t make others guess what you do for work, and who you do it for and primarily what THEY get out of it. Also aim stand out by a unique answer not just the same lull like everyone else. Yes that means more work now thinking the answer up … Continue reading Guessing takes energy →
The Power of rest continuned. My podcast recommendation for today: Michael Hyatt Michael Hyatt is talking about the power of rest. Its so important to get sleep and exercise.. Michael is doing a way better job than I did half a year ago in explaining the benefits so please go listen to him and take … Continue reading The Power of Rest. Sleep more – Archive more →
How full is your bucket? Be mindful of the words you use internally to yourself as well as to others, Words are more powerful than we think of. Try to give energy to those around you and yourself every day Book Recommendation: How Full Is Your Bucket? http://strengths.gallup.com/114079/Full-Bucket.aspx
Gamification at work if you simplified your work into just a few rules… What would those be? Just the top ten most important things and ways to archive them? I understand that life and work is complex things, but try to zoom out by making a game out of it. How would the metrics be … Continue reading Gamification at work →
Quite often I find myself thinking “oh there’s a ember glowing under there, should i help ignite it? Help light the passion?” Its my own curiosity mixed with my deep-rooted urge to help others grow, help others into insight, help others to get rest and regeneration, help others to passion. When you hear something touch … Continue reading Fan the flame – awaken the spark →
Everything Gives Feedback – Boardgames are excellent examples for becomming aware of your own patterns and figure out how to transform those insight into “in real life” Learning is a choice. You can learn from whatever you are doing. The only time we dont learn is when whe decide not to. I love board games … Continue reading Everything Gives Feedback – Boardgames are excellent examples →
That Other Way often works Just Fine – Continued Some listeners requested I add a few more thoughts to a previous cast since they said the original really helped them connect and get more accomplished by doing so. So I hope these thoughts will help you and others as well.
Help others just because you can and want to. I belive in a world of helping others for no other reason than the strong should help those they can. And we all have som strong area and no one has only strong areas. But its important that we help for our own reasons, without expecting … Continue reading Help others without expecting anything back →
Last Thursday I released something sub-par. It was my podcast on team-building that WE feeling. And the thing is, i don’t even know if most of you noticed that the outro was cut off a few seconds and that I myself didn’t think I added “that much value” to you that I aim to do. … Continue reading the balance between kindness to one self and stretching one self →
Building a team isnt just about the big actions to form it, its also the very small repetetive gestures that affect the “we/us feeling” the most. Dont underestimate them, make sure you include small things every day instead of waiting for that big team kick off that will “solve it all” … And help other … Continue reading Teambuilding – building a WE feeling →
Easy for you might not be easy for others. Just because its easy for you, dont take for granted that its easy for others. Look for the Positive intent! It might not be due to disrespect its “not finished”. They’re “not getting it”. Its not done “your” way. It could just be plainly due to … Continue reading Easy for you might not be easy for others →
We can learn more about ourselves using anything. I’m a computer gamer and love healing people but you know what? most often its the ones that ask the most for HEALS that doesn’t learn to avoid the need in the first place. And once your out of power to keep helping them they blame you … Continue reading HEAL ME plz plz →
You need Results in order to grow power. Otherwise, eventually, the powerful people will not invest their time and other resourses with you. Help others get there results done. Help them complete their missions. Their plans. Their delivery promises to their managers or themselves. Doesn’t have to be much or taking much from you. Could … Continue reading People AND Results →
Most of the successful people I know say it’s mostly due to small repetitive progress. Don’t wait for that huge one thing that will make ALL the difference. Start doing anything, however small, TODAY! And help others see the value of what they are already doing, even in the smallest of things. If you … Continue reading Embrace Reality – small progress is progress too – help others see theirs →
Unmet needs and your expectations Unmet needs and your expectations. You have to own your own expectations, because no one else but you can give you want you one. No one else has walked in your shoes for the length of time you have. We all have un-met needs, but when those repeatedly carry over … Continue reading Unmet needs and your expectations, only you can own your own expectations →
When to talk and when to not… Choose active listening to build power with awareness Listening is, according to my humble opinion, by far the most effective Relationship Building action you can take. One of the times when it can be really good to just shut up is when you’re invited to a demo of … Continue reading When to talk and when to not.. Choose active listening to build power with awareness →
The Power of Positivity within – to yourself and others Be positive. As much as possible. Manager Tools, of whom I am a big fan say “start with 3 months positive feedback” BEFORE going into what can be perceived as negative. Positivity is the only real way to encourage someone to want to listen, … Continue reading The Power of Positivity within – to yourself and others →
Fear is natural – Showing vulnerability will connect you – to yourself and to others Honor your fear. Listen to it. Trust it. But do what you can not to let it define your reality. Fears unvoiced often are much worse remaining shadows then when we talk about them and illuminating them. ..And … Continue reading Fear is natural – Showing vulnerability will connect you →
Todays episode is more philosophical in nature than most of my previous ones. I hope you enjoy it and that it helps you shift perspective, encouraging you to take action today – For a better future for yourself and those close to you soon. This is from a “positive outlook” its not about surrendering to … Continue reading Everything decays – What actions do you take for what effect? →
Dare to be a beginner again. You will find you inspire others AND become clearer to others on what you excel at by being clear of what you know very well and what you are a beginner at. That you also show as en example by taking action connects us all on a deeper level … Continue reading Dare to be a beginner again →
Use the energy where it is heading. Let the one who wants the effect drive it, instead of you risk forgetting trying to be helpful between tasks.
Your Time and giving it away – its effect on Your Relationship Power at work Take a minute for yourself. Think back on the past week. Who do you regularly spend your time with, spend your time ON? Do they most commonly boost you? Encourage you in your endeavours? Assist you in exploring new … Continue reading Your Time and its effect on Your Relationship Power at work →
Take the Lead. Take the initiative. Greet or share a helping hand to those you pass in the corridor. This will lower the barrier when you OR they need something next time. Perhaps try to make 2015 a more generous year to those around you? Any small steps help, doesnt have to be anything big … Continue reading Lowering the resistance to communication from others →
Accepting ourselves – so we can accept others easier. This I believe is one of the first step of embracing the relationship with another person. It starts and ends with ourselves. It’s not always easy but be kind to yourself first, listen to yourself first and take small steps of kindness towards yourself and you might … Continue reading Accepting ourselves – so we can accept others easier →
Encourage others to be their kind of hero I love fantasy heroes. I love a great story. I think most of us do. Myself I love reading and seeing films like Lord of the Rings. A lonesome figure bearing the responsible to save something bigger than themselves. And don’t you just love when you realize … Continue reading Encourage others to be their kind of hero →
Adjust your steps but keep taking them Should I take smaller or bigger actions? If you accomplish most of what you set out to do, take bigger steps If you find yourself not happy to all you’ve accomplished sometime you need to take smaller steps for a while. Another way of saying it is that … Continue reading Adjust your steps but keep taking them →
Yes/No The power of saying yes to yourself is awesome. The power of saying Yes continuously to your Boss – and deliver on it is amazing So what’s the danger then? Be aware of when you use it. “With great power comes great responsibility” Yes/No can be interpreted as very harsh. The side effect of … Continue reading Yes and No – its Power and its Dangers →
Be Slow to Judge – great blogpost by Michael Hyatt We often project our own issues. Be careful that you are talking about future benefits for the person you are talking to. Not your own projections. If we often judge or criticise other people that speaks volumes more about ourself than our targets. This is … Continue reading Be Slow to Judge – great blogpost by Michael Hyatt →
Why and what is important for you more than your own results? Please give yourself a minute to ponder on WHY you want to archive what you want to get done today. Whats in it for you? Deep down.. Now please extend that feeling into something that is beyond yourself.. and invest just five minutes … Continue reading Why and what is important for you..beyond yourself? →
Explore your own playfulness. That will give you energy that your relationship will share. What is having fun for you? Where do you have fun and what happens to those you meet there? Can you get more of that in other parts of your life as well? What is having fun for those around you?
Embrace the data all around you. WHILE you are at the meeting be at the meeting. Meet the people and their senses, attitudes, body language etc. Don’t just get the meeting “done” – You’re there for the result AFTER the meeting your there to meet people. Not to check it off your calendar. That thinking … Continue reading Embrace the data all around – its ALL about the people →
There is always systems beyond systems beyond systems. Thus there is harmony AND turmoil inside the person your are talking to right now. Some of it comes from systems you will never see, but affecting here and now. Likewise its inside you affecting them. Listen to to them. Accept them. Only then you fully go … Continue reading Systems beyond systems beyond systems →
Be happy and impressed by other skills and archivements, but their success in no way diminishes yours. If you enjoy their happiness for their sake, they might like you more. If you put them above you – you actually distance yourself from them and that is not relationship building. Try not to judge yourself to … Continue reading Inner game of self isolation →
Open your mind to that other way of getting things done Often we believe our way is the best way, missing the point that by doing so we lose a lot of power and potential within our colleagues. Not to mention that you build better relationship by encouraging people to do things their way not … Continue reading That other way often works just fine →
The Power in names – yours and others How often do you think about the power of names? Yours and others. Do you make it easy for others to use your name for the best of you and them? Do take note of others name to show your respect and recognition of them? Great … Continue reading The Power in names – yours and others →
Wow 25th episode is here! Part of embracing reality is to do your own internal recap and feedback for yourself and I thought I’d share mine, in case those thoughts help anyone else. Please note that todays podcast will be my own thoughts and processes thus be more deep into me than what might help … Continue reading Embrace Your reality – Lessons learned after 25 episodes →
It’s human to make assumptions. “I have met people for your firm before, your school before, your country before, your continent before.”.. It’s an easy thing to do, and I’ve done it myself too many times myself. I am sure that most of the time when my Team has over-archived its primarily because I have … Continue reading See The Individual – dont generalize →
Successful communication is ALL on you Successful communication is all on you – Which means if you don’t get the results and actions you want when talking to someone you have to take the responsibility to investigate what happens in the recipient when you talk to them, it doesn’t matter what you know you … Continue reading Successful communication is ALL on you →
The Power of believing Others can improve Please take time to listen to the great TED talk “The Power of believing that you can improve” by Carol Dweck where she talks about the great result you can have when you help people see that they can improve. Help them see that its a huge difference … Continue reading The Power of believing Others can improve →
Your Calendars Relationship Power and other effects on you and those around you. Are you aware of the real power of a shared calendar? Experiment with yours until you get the effect you want. Do not leave your calendar for other to fill. Make a choice for how YOU want to get the most out … Continue reading Your Calendars Relationship Power and other Effects →
First impressions and the lasting power of it First impressions last longer than most of oss think about. You probably heard it before, but do you actually make use of its power in your daily life? Action to take: Try to activly think and act the first seconds you meet some-one new. … Continue reading First Impressions and its longlasting power →
Help someone today just because you can. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Often I find that people wait for the perfect moment to help that will make a big impact. Or wait and see if the help they think they can provide will make a big difference.. I suggest also trying to help … Continue reading Better a small step today than waiting for perfect →
Thank you so much for your listener feedback! I am sorry that I said that we have to be perfect when sending things out to the web without explaining myself properly. What I meant to say, but didnt since I got on a tantrum-detour, was that it’s the recipient reaction that determines the outcome. Most … Continue reading Listener Feedback – Alternative Cost →
Ask yourself Why you need Relationship Power? We are all different. Different things matter differently to us. This doesnt have to matter to you just because it does to me. What would matter to you? Relationship Power is a great way to help others. Sometimes we need to stand up for those we believe in. … Continue reading Why do you want power to help others? + Plan for December business →
Connect others! Help them with whats important to them. You never know where this will lead them ..thus and you… The reward can be enormous for everyone. This is the “opportunity cost” I compared not taking action with in my previous episode Alternative Cost… but Kare does a much much better job at explaing this … Continue reading Be an Opportunity Maker →
Are you aware of your polarisation effect in different situations and environments? Do you know what you want when for which effect? Action to take: – Decide where you want to be in each environment. Do you want to act to become more neutral?Do you want to act to really find that outlaying 1%?
Relationship Power at work – What’s your alternative cost for the things you are thinking about or not thinking about right now? to ANY action or in-action you take there is always an Cost and alternative Cost involved. The cost for that road not taken is near infinite.. as could the rewards for that action … Continue reading Alternative Cost →
The Power of all the Circles around you In this episode I want to help you focus on the people you most commonly don’t go to lunch with at your work. With the purpose to explore why that is and how it accepts the power in your relationship, because you do have a relationship with … Continue reading The Power of all the Circles around you – people! →
The Power of Rest and some inspiration why you should experiment to get yours often How do you know you’re rested? How do you know you’re at your full capacity? Action to take this week: Try listening for your own “rest-state” Do you feel rested? Experiment with what makes you sleep better, wake up feeling … Continue reading The Power of Rest and some inspiration why you should experiment to get yours often →
The Art of Listening. “When you talk you are only repeating what you already know. When you listen you may learn something” – Dalai Lama We all get very preoccupied with ourselves every now and then. In some situations more than others. Which of those situations are most commonly happening for you? For me, in … Continue reading The Art of Listening →
This episodes focus on some of the reasons on why and how you could help make others bloom. It could be as simple as taking five minutes extra just to figure out whats important to them without any gain for you whatsoever other than just because you want to help. Help them create commitment for … Continue reading Make others bloom →
This podcast will help you explore the silent feedback that is always around you and how you can harness this to your advantage. We will also talk about the fact that you are never ever in neutral mode with anyone you meet. You are Either increasing your relationship with them or diminishing it, there is … Continue reading The Power of Silent feedback →
Relationship Power at work – Appearance don’t tell the full story We all start by judging the book by its cover, but with self-awareness we can catch ourselves doing it and thus connect way deeper with the one we are talking to. And the opposite, we can, if we accept that others do this to … Continue reading Relationship Power at work – Appearance don’t tell the full story →
RelationshipPower at work – Know thyself. We are abit of everything Know thyself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you have. Some experiences make part of me go into mental shutdown. is it the same for you? In what areas are this and how often? Be kind to yourself and try to … Continue reading Know thyself – we are abit of everything + treat your directs as volunteers →
Relationship Power at work – Your Reputation and the trust you bring before you even meet someone for the first time. Are you aware what people find about you online? What you yourself type into all those emails you send daily and the longterm result of those? Also recommends Rachel Botsman TEDtalk actions to take: … Continue reading Your Reputation and the trust you bring before you →
RelationshipPower is all about Integrity. Your Integrity is important! We explore some of what that means to me and you as a manager. We explore being uncomfortable, and that we can all learn new things if we can just allow our-self to be uncomfortable for a while. if we practice, we get better. What new … Continue reading RelationshipPower is all about Integrity. Your Integrity! →
Everything you do, say and don’t do sends signals on multiple levels and multiple channels at once. Are you aware that your body either hinders or benefits that your message to get through and creates the the effect you want for the one you are talking too? How much are you using your body to set you in the … Continue reading The Power of your bodylanguage →
Relationship Power at work – The Power of choosing yourself by disconnecting and other Necessary Endings This episode is dedicated to help you explore where you stand most commonly on disconnect and saying no to things that does not help you get where you want to be. Actions to take: Think about what parts … Continue reading The Power of choosing yourself by disconnecting + Necessary Endings →
Make others feel worth of Love and Belonging. Be kind to yourself, that the only way you can sustain kindness to others. Help yourself feel “you are enough” and pass that feeling to others whenever you can. Be kind to yourself. Set healthy boundaries. Say no when you mean no, and only yes when you … Continue reading Relationship Power at work – The power of vulnerability + Handshake →
My definition of Relationship Power is that thing that you earn, not the same thing as Role Power or Authority Power that you get by your position. Relationship Power is that unique connection you can, if you want to, grow with each individual you meet, or that you reach by your reputation. Why do I … Continue reading RelationshipPower at Work Episode001 What is Relationship Power and how does it help you? →