It’s tough to explain your innermost feelings when you’re on the verge of a blazing victory, and an unexpected underperformance on your end takes away all the anticipated joy. As the assistant coach of the Canadian basketball team at the Rio Olympics, Shawnee experienced the same when her team lost in the quarterfinals. Worst of all, she could sense that her team had underperformed. In today’s episode, Shawnee sits with me to explore what the experience taught her about pressure, failure, fear, and forgiveness. Shedding light on the circumstances post the loss and expanding on the reason behind every emotion experienced, she explains how she learned not to let the outcome of a challenge define her. Just like in sports, life is all about the highs and lows. You are to face the failures the same way you face the successes. And when peoples’ judgments of you start clouding your mental space, remember: judgments are only the reflections of people’s distorted narratives of you. They might not be true. And you don’t have to seek proof and evidence to disprove them. It only means you have to stop being needy of them. Learn to say, “I prefer that you like me, but I don't need you to.” It makes all the difference in the world. You’ll also learn:

• That pressure comes from focusing on the outcome, which is either winning or losing. The higher the stakes, the more the pressure builds. We need to remember that neither of them is in our control.
• Face your failure. Because the truth always sets you free when you dare to look at it.
• Do not consider other people’s judgments of you as personal attacks. They rarely know the complete truth.
• Forgiveness is the opposite of judgment. Forgive yourself for not seeing the blind spots, not using the right tool at the right time, or for not being able to give your best shot sometimes.
• The inability to forgive is an outcome of our ego taking over. It means we’re agreeing with our ego.
• Have the courage to stop protecting your imperfections. Walk towards your authenticity and accept yourself for who you are.

Meet Shawnee!

Shawnee Harlee is a Mental Toughness Coach for athletes, helping athletes through everything that stirs them up in their sport.

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