Putting yourself out there in the world comes with its set of risks. In relationships or even work of any kind, we could get our hearts broken. It's inevitable.
I was pondering over this when the idea of turning this into a podcast came to me. I did some deep thinking into why heartbreaks hurt so much. Shouldn't you be able to control your pain because your sane mind knows somewhere deep inside that it will happen one day anyway? Is there really a way to get over them?
Welcome to another episode of Unbox Yourself. Today, I'm going into length about heartbreaks – what causes them and how to get out of the pain caused by them. So, if you're shaken or have been shaken in the past by a heartbreak, today's episode would illuminate ways of recovering from it.
The episode in a nutshell:
Why do heartbreaks hurt?
- Brain chemistry: When we're in love, we're not in love with just a person, but maybe an idea, a place, or an experience. The feeling of love floods our brains with the feel-good neurochemicals dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine is responsible for the sense of pleasure and reward. Serotonin, on the other hand, is responsible for happiness and well-being. So when we get our hearts broken, the feel-good hormones take a hit too.
- Evolution and anthropology: We experience what's called social pain post a heartbreak episode. That kind of pain arises from rejection, loss, or being cut off or distanced. Social pain lights up the area of the brain that physical pain does.
- The models of human needs: Heartbreak has an impact on the six human needs as in Tony Robbins' stated model: the need for certainty, the need for uncertainty, the need for significance, the need for connection or love, the need for growth, and the need for contribution.
What can you do about heartbreaks and the associated pain?
- Heartbreaks have no remedy. You cannot make the pain go away, but you can definitely distract yourself from it. The first way to go about it is not to ignore it. Stop running away from it. Instead, feel it. Make room for your uncomfortable emotions.
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