The quality of your relationships has a major impact on your life. Rupturing, unhealthy relationships have a more profound impact on our lives than we possibly ever think of.

But as with everything else in life, even relationships cannot be perfect all the time. They too are likely to have disappointments.

So how do we mend our relationships when they seem to be slipping away? In one of her Twitter posts, Esther Perel said it's all about connection-disconnection-repair, the cycle of a relationship.

Listen to this episode to explore the nuances of a relationship and learn simple ways to repair any disconnect that happens at any point.

You'll learn:

Unrepaired relationships rupture over and over again if you don't try to mend them.

Disconnection occurs in moments of conflict, often when those conflicts reflect back to us our imperfect selves.

Repair isn't the same as giving in or compromising. It is simply about reestablishing connection, dropping the armor, lowering our defenses, and meeting each other at the bridge that connects us.

What can we do to give ourselves the best chance for repair in a relationship?

• First, when you are disconnected, ruptured, or hurting, it's tempting to hurt back and say something mean. But as often as possible, we could pause and create a gap between impulse and response to solve our issues.
• Second, while hurting on the outside, hurt and rupture on the inside must stop or at least slow down. Slow down and learn to create that separation.
• Third, be the first one to reconnect and be willing to accept rejection.

Resources Mentioned:

• TED Talk by Rob Waldinger

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