Good morning everyone, I am Linda J Wolff your narrator, author, and personal life coach.
In today’s episode, I want to share some dating advice that will save you a lot of wasted time and effort. Also from a lot of heartache.
It will give you an open perspective on how much you pace yourself emotionally. In the areas of attachment.
Return for your investment
Dating can be like investing in the stock market, some stocks are volatile, some are great investments. But this is brought about on key factors, knowing your data, when to buy and when to sell.
It would be ridiculous to just buy a stock because the name looked pretty or sounded good as it rolls off your tongue. A wise person listens to every detail, research’s everything before investing. See, this is just an example.
Wise investors don’t want to throw away their time and money into a stock that won’t pay a return.
We could kind of use this example as a tool for dating. See, I use a journal and write down notes or data when I date.
Besides, it’s fun and interesting from a psychological perspective. I could look at dates as investments.
Who am I willing to accept for a date,
do they meet the requirements of my standards and values that I am looking for in a person?
I have to know what I want, do I want a serious long-term relationship, or just the pure entertainment of enjoying someone’s company, either for a hookup or what.
If I am searching for that one special person I wouldn’t want to throw away my time and energy, it’s exhausting and it drains you mentally.
But, I have to know what I want in a man, what is his value system. What is my value system?
I have to ask myself questions, What am I looking for
◦ Do his values align with mine
◦ List the values you are seeking in a person - likes this or this. This gives you clarity. This gives you a mental picture and focuses points.
◦ Does he want children, or does he like animals. Is he a drinker or smoker? Etc. etc.
◦ Do they invest beyond texting, do they call and talk on the phone, ask to see you, or set updates & confirm
◦ How much do they lead; do they initiate, does their body language show interest
◦
A journal reveals data, pertinent information of interest or investment, willingness, and attractiveness. It also gives you info on how much you should invest.
I love journaling, what an open perspective to the reality of knowing whether he’s seriously interested. Or you are just an option. You can see it unfolding before you.
It also reveals when they are losing interest and when you need to withdraw your attachment. Or if you need to slow down the emotional connection.
A journal saves me from mass heartache, and to me, this is a huge factor.
What a journal shows me is how much interaction time I get from them. This is a key factor for investment.
Interactions versus Just Texting or Phone calls…
Texting or phones calls don’t show you the emotion or body language in a person. That’s why interaction is valuable. It grows in depth.
Texting can be misunderstood. Causing confusion and hurtful feelings.
Phone calls you can get hung up on, you can’t see if a person is really into you or they are just playing a role. Do you see and understand why journaling is important.
Some people say just go with it, I’ve tried that and have wasted a lot of time and energy on people who weren’t really serious or had a good value system. I don’t anymore and the healing part of it, you find yourself healing much faster cause you didn’t over-invest in someone.
I hope this enlightens you with some valuable information or perspective. I want to wish you the best in your experiences of dating too.
God bless you all and this Linda signing out.
Until the next time I see you again.
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