Transitioning - this word sounds like a fairly simple thing to do; to transition from one place to another place, from doing one task to another task, to even just move from one focus to another focus.

Yet how often do we acknowledge just how many skills it takes us human beings to complete a transition? Transitioning, especially with ease, requires multiple skills working in unison. Without self-regulation, our internal systems may become overwhelmed, and we can lose our ability to be present even to ourselves.

Often our implicit experiences (nonverbal memories that form below the level of our conscious awareness and form our expectations of the world) hijack us into familiar "fight, fight, or freeze" reactions, rather than supporting us to show up in congruence with our deeply held values.

I have observed that when my son was hijacked, his implicit template automatically triggered his emotional alarm system into the fight response, and my alarm system would respond by hijacking me with the fear response. Part of my self-care program was to be intentionally focused on transforming these stuck patterns using resonant empathy, time-travel processes and journaling.

Time-travel processes allow you travel back to root cause events in your life to make sense of them, bringing in warmth and care for integration. Many discover that the root cause event loses its charge, restoring the pre-event sense of safety. Any subsequent events of a similar nature are no longer experienced through the lens of fear.

I remember when we began the process of moving our home to live just west of Spokane WA and for quite a while, we were living in two places at the same time. My husband stayed mainly at our old home, getting it ready for sale, while Rylan and I focused on getting our routine settled into our new space. This was an ongoing transition for everyone in the family as well as for our extended family and friends.

I remember when we would return to our home in Waitsburg, as we entered the driveway, I would slow to a stop so Rylan could jump out of the car to run as fast as he could, to jump into his Dad’s arms and squeeze him tight. This was a ritual I never tired of witnessing. Their joyful reconnection grew stronger with each repetition.

That even though, I noticed I felt rather fuzzy and a bit edgy. After dinner I asked Rylan, "Hey, are you ready to take your shower and brush your teeth? Remember, your brother invited you to go on a date night with him at the end of the week to celebrate you taking responsibility for yourself."
(Notice I didn’t really track with my sense of being off-balance; I jumped straight to strategy rather than grounding in connection.)

Richard followed my lead, "Yeah, come on Rylan, I’ll get the shower started."

Posturing with fists clenched, Rylan shouted, "I don’t want to take a shower!"

"Oh, come on now," I coaxed, reaching out to rub his back, "You said earlier you’d be willing to take your shower and brush your teeth after dinner."

"Don’t touch me!" His voice began to grow in volume as he withdrew from my touch, knocking my hand away, "You are forcing me - don’t touch me, I said!"

I pushed back at his hands with irritation, "Knock it off!" I said crossly, moving in closer to pick him up.
Crawling as fast as he could, Rylan cringed away from me, curling up in fear between the couch and side-table. He cried out in alarm, "No... no!"

"What’s going on in here?" Richard asked, looking around as he came back into the room. "Rylan won’t take a shower now." I replied with exasperation.

Richard moved toward Rylan to pick him up, as Rylan’s implicit template further hijacked his system. Squirming swiftly away from his Dad’s grasp, he screamed, "No, don’t make me; I don’t want to get wet! You’re forcing me!" I heard Richard sigh heavily as he turned, walking away to turn off the shower water.

Desperate to experience some ease and harmony, especially feeling irritatingly off-balance, I m