What if we met our children with this kind of wonder of who are you and how can I help you become that person? – Sil Reynolds
On this episode of the Plan Simple Podcast, I’m really excited to talk with mothering and mothering expert, Sil Reynolds. Sil is the co-author with her daughter, Eliza Reynolds, of Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years.
The teen/tween years can be a confusing mothering time, especially because we get the message that this is a time of freedom for us as mothers. It’s way different than the early years, but many of us find it’s a time we really need, and want, to be there for our kids — yet society can make us feel like this is helicopter parenting. Sil is full of wisdom and experience about this time in our mothering experience, and I am so grateful to call her a mentor and teacher myself.
Sil and her daughter created a way of mother-daughtering during adolescence that's invigorating instead of draining. Teen girls get such a bad rap, but Sil calls them oracles because they’re so in touch with another way of seeing.
Here’s some of what we talk about on this episode:
Helping our kids become the person they are, not the one we want them to be and how life-giving it is to meet your kid on the level of the soul
Understanding that you are an expert in mothering your child
Really being involved in your tween/teen’s life and letting them rely on you
Slowing down and practicing hearing and following your intuition
How there will be ruptures, misunderstandings, mistakes, arguments and the important thing is not to avoid them but to repair them
The difference between mothering and parenting
The importance of having a circle of other mothers supporting you
BIO
Sil Reynolds is a mother and a mothering expert. She is the co-author, with her daughter Eliza, of Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years. For fifteen years, the mother-daughter duo taught workshops for thousands of mothers and their preteen and teen daughters.
Sil brings 40 years as a Family Nurse Practitioner and psychotherapist to her current work as a one-on-one mother-daughter coach. She was a senior student of the renowned Jungian author and analyst Marion Woodman. As a specialist in eating disorders and body image, she’s taught Geneen Roth’s Breaking Free from Emotional Eating workshops. She’s taught at Multiversity, and the Esalen, Omega, and Kripalu Institutes. But the crown jewel in her resume is, of course, her now 30 year-old daughter Eliza. Fun fact: Sil brought the first yoga class ever to Brown University as an undergrad, as Eliza calls it, this = awesome hippie lady status. Find out more and learn how to turn conflict into open-hearted connection at motheringanddaughtering.com.
LINKS
Sil’s Site: http://www.motheringanddaughtering.com/ (Motheringanddaughtering.com)
https://www.amazon.com/Mothering-Daughtering-Keeping-Strong-Through/dp/B08DHLQ5JL/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1603809719&sr=8-1 (The Book)
Eliza’s Program for Teens: https://badassgirls.me/ (https://badassgirls.me/)
MENTIONED LINK
https://plansimple.com/parenting-simplified-with-kim-john-payne/ (Parenting Simplified with Kim John Payne)
https://neufeldinstitute.org/resources/books/ (Gorden Neufeld books)
Doable Changes from this episode:
REFRAME REJECTION. It is normal for adolescents to push back their parents, to test and try to figure out who they are. A lot of times parents take this as rejection. Over the next few days, notice when you feel like your tween/teen is rejecting you. What if you step back from that and reframe it as them pushing back, but not pushing you away or...