Those Five People

About three years ago, four things happened in my life. First, my beautiful, smart and hard-working daughter began college on her way to medical school. Secondly, I was cultivating a friendship with a young man age 24, who was intelligent and ambitious and who had the knowledge and potential to become a very successful entrepreneur, and he is rapidly becoming that. The third thing that happened was that a young man from Kenya, a smart and academically successful 18 year old, came to live with me and was subsequently accepted to Stanford University on a full scholarship. Lastly, I was approaching my sixtieth birthday, determined to spend the next ten years becoming young and ambitious myself. During the last three years, my sons have become young adults, and with the addition of four more East Africans, the group of bright, intelligent and ambitious young people who surround me has grown to ten people. In many ways they have become like me, and in many ways I have become like them.

YOU BECOME LIKE THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH. Think about it. A young adult has a full time job, or maybe she is in school full time, or maybe both. She probably has a vision of herself and of the future she dreams of, but even if she is not there yet, does she spend time with people who are like the person she wants to be? Does she spend her time with those who are having the success she wants to have? Or instead does she spend her time with those who tend to bring her down or at least fail to influence her in a positive way?

Yes, the point is about influence. Those five people that you spend the most time with will have an influence on you. You will tend to become like them, and they will tend to become like you. If you work hard and then spend your time with people who are lazy and not particularly successful in life, they will add nothing to yours and may easily bring you down to their level on some ways. On the other hand, if you seek out people who are driven and successful, then you will be influenced by them to rise to higher levels of success. Be aware of the pattern and choose carefully the people you allow to influence you.

I visited a small town in rural Kenya named Kericho, and I had the experience of listening to a sermon by a young African lady named Vivian. In encouraging her congregation, I heard her say, “YOU ARE THE AVERAGE OF THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH.” I turned to my friend and smiled. We had just been talking about that!

Those five people? Choose them wisely. It is what successful people do.