Show Notes:
Today we are getting really practical as we get further into our Trigger Happy series and talk about tools and strategies for trigger management. If you’ve missed the last two episodes, make sure you go back and check them out. Today’s topic really builds on what we’ve been learning about the last two weeks, and references pieces from the last two episodes that may not make the same amount of sense if you haven’t been following along, so I would encourage you to go back and start at Season 2 Episode 22 so that you get all you can out of this. Through this series, we’ve been talking about triggering – the experience that happens when we have a knee-jerk, psychological and physiological reaction in the present to something that reminds us of a stress-inducing or traumatic event that happened in the past. We’ve talked about how triggers can be really sneaky, subconscious and nuanced. We’ve also identified that the reactions they evoke in us can feel really automatic and outside of our control. And last week we talked about how the discomfort of triggering can lead us to get really crafty at avoiding triggers, but that this can create a series of new problems and that what we really need to do is tackle our triggers head on, but in a way that keeps safety intact. And that’s where we’re picking up today. When we face a trigger, we need some tools in our toolbelt to help us hold on to safety, and to support our brain in keeping the prefrontal cortex online. Today’s topic is going to equip you with the tools you need in that toolbelt.
So let’s jump right in. We’re going to talk about two main types of trigger management categories and I’m breaking them down based on the part of the brain we’re trying to help. So, we’re going to talk about limbic system regulatory tools and we’re going to talk about pre-frontal cortex activating tools. Again, if you skipped the first couple of episodes from this series, you’ll want to go back and start there so you know what I’m talking about here. As a super quick recap for those who have a memory like mine and need it – let’s remember that triggering is what happens when our stress/trauma centre is provoked by a reminder to something it has previously encoded and identified as a warning connected to a prior lived experience. When this happens, your brain thinks that this trigger represents the possibility that the bad thing that happened before COULD be happening again and activates your stress centre in order to get you ready to deal with it and prevent it from being like it was before. Your limbic system is the part of your brain most responsible for your stress survival responses and it gets all fired up really quickly. As we identified at the start of this series, your limbic system is also a fuel hog and it shuts down many of the other systems in your brain in an effort to give it all of your resources to help it do its job. When we’re triggered in a situation where a survival response is not needed to keep us safe, we need to regulate the limbic system to help is slow its roll; and we need to get the other parts of our brain back online to keep us present and anchored to our higher-level resources and capacities.
Alright, so let’s start with limbic system regulatory tools. If you remember back to the first episode in this series, two weeks ago, I told you that your stress centre has a huge influence on your physiology. It can change your heart rate, breathing, circulation, and so much more and all in an instant once something threatening is perceived. Fascinatingly, your body is among the most incredible feedback loop and this is no different when it comes to your stress response. What do I mean by feedback loop? Well, think about it like this. I’m laying in my bed relaxed and ready to fall asleep when I hear a startling noise. My limbic system quickly interprets that noise as a potential threat and starts having an effects on my physiology to prepare me for what might come next. Part of the physiological changes my stress centre is putting in place allows me to have heightened awareness, a highly attuned sensory system helping me to be extra-on guard and able to perceive additional indicators of risk. So I get out of bed and I creep down the stairs and I see something move from the corner of my eye, and that new information gets fed into my system acting as confirmation that yes, something’s up. As I move toward what I saw, my brain now has me even more highly aware of what is around me in preparation for how I might need to be able to grab something to fight with or know where an escape route is if I need to run away. As additional bits of information get fed into my system, it offers feedback to my brain that either confirms or denies the need for this stress response; and as my brain receives that feedback, it determines whether and how to amp up or slow my response. That’s the loop. And that’s what we need to take advantage of.
How, you might ask? Well, first, we need to get intentional to feed the loop SOMETHING. Once the stress centre has been provoked, your brain is itching to find confirmation of risk and threat. To help it detach from the sense of intense need to engage in risk scanning and threat assessment, we need to give it something that offers the opposite kind of feedback. So instead of giving it data that enhances its sense of confirmation around risk, we need to feed it pieces that strongly indicate the opposite of threat: safety. I’ll get to what that looks like in just a sec, but I want to make it really clear that when we get triggered and the stress centre gets activated and cascades into all of the physiological responses connected to this, it’s a bit like hitting the gas on a train going full steam ahead. To stop it, we can’t just let it coast its way to a stop, we need to actively pump the breaks. What this means is that we shouldn’t just ride out our stress reaction, because of a piece we identified last week, which is that it leaves the connection between the trigger and the reaction as is. So, for example, let’s imagine that I have been exposed to some stress-inducing situations that have involved loud noises before, and then I have this experience of a startling noise as I am trying to fall asleep. The noise is startling in its own right, but it’s also triggering times that have previously felt unsafe for me. The noise yields a disproportionate reaction in me. If I just leave that as is and try to ride it out, I am further conditioning this response that loud noise yields uncontrollable, disproportionate stress reactions, and the feeling of powerlessness that goes with it. Every time we are confronted with a trigger, we are being given an opportunity to teach our bodies something different, and we need to get really intentional in using these opportunities for all they’re worth.
Ok, so what do we feed into the feedback loop? Well, we’ve already talked about how the limbic system exerts a lot of influence over your physiology, and that it is keenly attuned to feedback from your physiological sensory systems to help it in doing its job of assessing and reacting, so we’re going to get crafty and use this to our advantage. Sensory input is a key way we can work to regulate the limbic system and help bridge our brain to a new potential connection. Smell, sight, sound, taste, touch…I know it might sound simple, but that’s exactly why it works. Here’s what you’re going to do – when triggering happens in situations where your risk of actual harm is low but your brain and body are having a hard time agreeing with you, you are going to input sensory pieces that affirm your safety or act as reminders of good, fine, ok, calm times. Here are some ideas:
Smell something. A candle, some essential oil, soap, your shampoo, some lip chap… Seek out scents that are helpful to you. Some people find calming scents like vanilla to feel helpful, while others need stronger scents like eucalyptus or peppermint. Find something you like and find ways to keep it nearby if you tend to get triggered while on the go. My favourite trick is scented lip chaps and hand lotions as these are relatively socially acceptable so you can use them without looking weird if you’re triggered in public or around people. Some people also use essential oil jewellery which is essentially a locket with a felt pad clipped inside that you put a few drops of your favourite essential oil onto and it vents the scent.
See something. Notice markers of where you are in space and time. Look at something that feels comforting like a family photo or pictures of your pet. Look for your favourite colour or something that feels visually pleasing and focus in on it.
Hear something. If you can, listen to music or soundscapes that help you feel calm or safe. You can pre-emptively make some trigger friendly playlists that are accessible when you need them. Alternatively, listen to the sound of your breathing and try to make it longer and slower every few breaths; or listen to the sound of your heart beat and try to slow it down.
Taste something. Keep mints in your pocket, or dark chocolate or something that has a taste your can focus in on. Make it something you like, maybe even something that feels connected to positive memories like a childhood candy you loved or the mints your grandma kept at her house growing up, so that your brain connects to those good pieces as an offset to the triggering feeling.
Touch something. Find textures that feel helpful to you, and if you can keep them nearby. Do you respond well to something firm and cool? Keep a small rock in your pocket. Do you prefer warm and soft? Keep a small piece of felt fabric with you. Focus on the sensation of touching your hair or stroking your own arm in a soothing way.
And I know that this last one is a bit of an add-on category, but the other thing that helps your limbic system is MOVEMENT. Shake your arms and legs out. Squeeze your hand or arm tight with the other hand. Stretch your hands high above your head. Sway. Walk or run on the spot. Do some wall push ups. Let your body exert some of the stress energy that builds up in preparation to be responsive to the perceived sense of risk. Give that energy somewhere to go and help it to dissipate. If your stress response comes with a fight reaction, wall push ups can be a great way to get the feeling of pushing something away to satisfy that part of my brain that I took an action. If your stress response comes with a flee reaction, running on the spot or swaying can give a feeling of completion to what your brain thinks it might need to do. And if your stress response comes with a freeze reaction, gentle stretching, taking up a little space, or swaying can help too.
Ok, so we’ve got some tools to help regulate our limbic system when it perceives threat and hijacks your brain. Now, we need to divert resources that your limbic system has swiped and redistribute them to the parts of our brain that help us really anchor and know that we’re safe and ok and that the time we’re in right now when we’re triggered is not the same as actual threat or doom. That means we need to build some strategies for pre-frontal cortex activation. If we think back to our first episode in this series, we talked about how the pre-frontal cortex is responsible for all of our higher-order thinking. This is the part of the brain that really only humans have and it’s what gives us the abilities that are unique to people. This part of our brain loves language, identification, sequencing, making use of trivia type knowledge, math, description, and so on. Employing these kinds of skills creates a demand on your brain that forces redistribution of resources. While your limbic system is hogging energy, your brain is knocking and saying, “hey limbic system, we need a little fuel to figure out what 17x3 is, share the love a little please!” The more we place demand on the prefrontal cortexes skill set, the more it will need to demand of your limbic system to share some resources, which means your limbic system has reduced capacity to run on high gear because it has less and less to work with, helping it diffuse and eventually shifting out of hijack mode.
So, here are 5 activities you can do to help activate your prefrontal cortex:
1. Alphabet game. We’ve talked about this one before, it’s a great little tool and you can change it up if you start to get bored with it to level up the challenge. Choose a category – foods, song titles, movie titles, street names, cities…really anything, and then work it through from A to Z. Don’t get tripped up or stressed out if you can’t find a word for each letter within the category, the point of the activity is not actually to find a word for each letter – it’s just a prompt to activate your prefrontal cortexes love for language and identification. No one will know or judge you if you skip one, but don’t give up too easy, it’s supposed to be a bit challenging for your brain – that’s what helps it draw resource away from your limbic system to make your prefrontal cortex work.
2. Sequencing. Count to 100 or 1000 by 3’s. Or describe what you did yesterday in detail and work to keep it in sequential chronological order. Or describe an everyday kind of task in detail and be sure to make it in the sequential order of tasks. For example, washing the dishes: first I empty the sink. Then I put in the plug. Then I run the hot water. Then I add the dish soap. Then I turn off the water. Then I scrub the least dirty dishes. Then I stack them on the drip tray. Then I move on to the dirtier dishes. Then I stack them in the sink. Then I scrub the dirtiest dishes. Then I drain the sink. Then I wipe the sink and counters. And so on, and so on. One of my favourite tools is my sudoku app which is sequencing as well, and the timer on the app makes my brain feel like it needs to really focus.
3. Get mathy. Addition, subtraction, multiplication… Whether you work on a few problems in your head, or on some scrap paper, or you download a math games app – working on problem solving, particularly for those of us, myself included, who are not naturally math-inclined, is a great way to force your brain to redistribute resources and activate your prefrontal cortex.
4. Describe the room. Look around you. Notice and describe the colours you see, the textures, the lighting differences. Really root yourself in the room you are in and notice all the things you might not normally. Again, our goal is to use language to describe and to anchor to what is present and now.
5. Tell a story or some jokes. Your limbic system isn’t awesome at creativity or silliness. Its job, survival, is serious business. Using language skills that are prefrontal cortexes domain, along with some creativity and imagination or finding our funny bone, can be great ways of shifting energy away from our limbic system to help redistribute resources and get my whole brain online again. Tell a story about something real or imagined. Make up a joke. If you think about kids in your life, you probably do something like this with them. If a kid in your life tells you they are afraid of a monster in their closet, we usually do the things to show them that reasonably this isn’t true, but then to help them shift their thinking we’ll tell a happy or silly story to help their brain anchor to something good rather than scary in hopes of setting them up for a better nights sleep. You can do the same for you, because don’t forget, grown ups are just children in tall bodies.
Alright, there you have it. You are now equipped for trigger management. You know what you need to do, why you need to do it and now the big trick is remembering to use the tools you have when it’s time to use them. AND, using them as consistently as possible to help unpair conditioned connections, and extinguish triggering reactions. My best tip for remembering to use these tools is twofold. First, make some prompts. Whether it’s a list you keep on your phone and know to look at for reference when you’re triggered, or post-it notes in key places where triggering tends to happen, or alarm reminders that go off at times when triggering might be more likely – find ways to present yourself with these pieces until they become a more routine part of your life that come to mind. And second, tell key people in your life about these tools and when you need to use them so that they can help prompt. You can even shape how they share this with you, when you might need them to support that prompting and how you want that to look. By and large the people in our lives want us to be ok and successful, and they are usually pretty happy to help and often feel pretty awesome to have something clearly defined that they can do to help rather than feeling usure how best to support.
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Episode Challenge:
What are some ways you can prompt reminders to use the skills outlined in today’s episode? Who can you invite to help prompt and remind you? And which tools will you try out first? – Willing to share?? I would LOVE to hear from you, give a shout out on social media or shoot me an email and tell me what you’re working on!
Access our free downloadable Managing Trauma Triggers Workbook
Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.
Additional Resources:
Access our free downloadable Managing Trauma Triggers Workbook
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