Coping: Recent Episodes
Chaplain Kevin Deegan
In these unprecedented times how are you coping? It's now more important than ever to push the pause button of our lives. Join host Chaplain Kevin weekly to meditate on meaningful questions, inspiring conversations and encouraging Scriptures. Chaplain Kevin Deegan is a Board Certified Chaplain who is serving on the front lines in hospital ministry, helping communities and families learn strategies for coping well.
Kevin: So those of you that participated in the listing exercise last time, if you want to grab that list out or listen to that episode and create a list of losses, you can build on that exercise in this new exercise.
So as you're looking at that list of losses, what I would like you to do is to start thinking about the ways in which the list of losses are interconnected. That process may be natural for you where you begin to draw those connections quite easily and readily.
If you feel like you're struggling to think about how those list of what feels like random losses are connected, I want you to choose one big loss on that list of losses, whether it's one of the biggest losses in your life or one of the most recent losses in your life.
Start there. Write that word down in the middle of a blank piece of paper and as you look at that word, start to consider the other little losses that have come as a result of that big loss and write those words smaller around that word that's on the middle of your page and you what will begin to develop here is a flowchart.
What you can focus on is the size of the words that you're writing. The really big losses, use a bigger font. Some of the other little losses, you can write them in a smaller font. You can start to connect them one by one, using lines or circles.
However that starts to play out in your brain, start to make sense of it. And whatever that looks like for you and your experience. You. Get creative with it. There's no right or wrong way to do this, but what you should see by the end of it is a pretty messy page of losses that are interconnected by lines and shapes.
And hopefully it begins to look on the page a little bit like it feels in your brain and in your heart.
Kathy: Thanks, Kevin. That was a very helpful activity. We just want to say if you're needing extra support and help through your grief, feel free to reach out to us and whatever else you may be coping with, blessings to you.
Kevin: With a piece of paper, with the device in front of you, I want you to just begin with the first thing that comes to mind when you think of grief, when you think of loss. What's that thing that happened to you that feels it's always there?
It's the heaviest thing in your backpack. Write that thing down first. Just maybe there's more than one thing. Go ahead and start writing down some of the things that come to mind as you continue to write.
Think about the things that you may not traditionally think of as losses, but feel like pain points for you. So those difficult conversations that you've had recently, the time that somebody said something that really hurt you, the time that something happened that made you upset in a way that you didn't expect, start writing down those things too.
You think about the different phases of your life. Your earliest memories, your childhood, your young adult life, and even just your recent experiences. What are some of those points in time that have made a lasting impression, a mark on you because of a loss, because of an experience, a difficult encounter?
Write down those things too. You may be at a point in your journaling where you're getting stuck, and that's okay. You can look over your list and review and see what other thoughts comes to mind. Even if there's something that you're not sure if it should be on the list, just add it.
Just write it down. If it keeps coming to your mind, just write it down. If you find yourself free flowing and writing a lot, go ahead and keep on writing until you get to a stopping point. Now that you're at the end and you're looking over your list, why don't you circle those things that feel most heavy right now?
I'm only imagining what you've written on your list. Thinking of my own list and let me be the first to say, my goodness. No wonder you feel the way that you do. No wonder this has been so difficult for you.
Look at all that you've been through. So for whatever you may be coping with, we want to extend our blessings to you.
Kevin: Well, hi everyone. Welcome back to another episode of "Coping". Kathy and I are happy to be with you guys today.
Kathy: Yes. So last episode, we talked about the ways we process grief stuffers and sharers.
Kevin: Yes. And we talked about ways to process our grief rather than just stuff it or just share it. And so in this episode, we're going to go a little bit deeper and talk about one way we can begin to get that grief out, how we can go from dealing with grief to processing grief. And so the question we're going to begin with is, "Kathy, are you a list lover or hater? How do you feel about lists?"
Kathy: I love lists, and I can't wait to dive into this. So let's get started. You mentioned that there's a process we can use to begin to actually get the grief out. Can you explain it a little bit more?
Kevin: Yeah. So we all have lists that we have running, whether it's grocery lists or to do lists or goals that we have by the end of the year, lists of know, instructions from Ikea, whatever that may be. We have these running lists of things. One example of a list that I have in my new job, I keep a running list of all of the things that I need to do in a particular day or particular week, and I'm constantly adding and subtracting things to that list. What about you? What's one of the lists that you keep?
Kathy: Oh, my goodness. I have so many. My funniest lists are related to shopping, like grocery, Christmas, birthday. That running. I have so many random items on there that for this episode, I was looking at my lists, and I have 181.
Kevin: Oh, my gosh. Literally 181?
Kathy: Yes.
Kevin: Oh, my goodness. How is it possible? How is that even possible? How do you keep track of 181 lists?
Kathy: I have no idea. But I do have them.
Kevin: Well, that's why you have them, right? Because there's so many things to keep track of. Oh, my goodness. That's crazy. I didn't expect that. Well, maybe we don't all keep 180 lists, but we have lists that are running, and we have them for very practical reasons. But there's an aspect of that practicality that will help us in the process of processing grief. The neuroscience tells us that there are two main benefits when it comes to list making. No matter what kind of list you're making, the two main benefits are externalizing and focusing.
The benefit of externalizing is to do away with mental juggling. I think we've all been there where we try to keep all of the dates and all of the times and all of the information in our head, and we just find ourselves struggling to keep all of it in our brains. And that's because the neuroscience says most people can only hold about four things in their mind at a time. And I'll be honest, four things sounds like way more than what I can handle. I can do maybe one and possibly two things, but I'm constantly having things fall through the cracks.
Kathy: Yeah, that's fascinating. Only four things. I think I'm the opposite. I'm holding 181 things, apparently. But this is very important to understand that if our brain can only hold four things, for those of us who attempt to hold more, we are not succeeding, and we probably are facing other consequences for holding all that information in.
Kevin: That's right. And it could be really mentally exhausting to hold all of that stuff in, and you're expending energy by trying to hold on to those things and not really accomplishing them. So it's a waste of energy. In addition to being challenging, it's a waste of energy. But the other benefit of list making is focusing. So keeping the list and making a list helps you to move from one task to another without wasting time. It ultimately makes you like a productivity ninja. If you have a list of things that you have to take care of instead of wasting energy and trying to remember all of those things, you can actually take time to accomplish each of those tasks one by one.
Kathy: Yeah, I think that it's so interesting that you're pointing out the focusing. Studies show as I'm helping people with budgets, like in coaching, studies show that if you make a grocery list before you enter the grocery, you're less likely to spend as much money. And so just the five minutes it would take to sit in the car before you walk into the store helps you focus. And then, of course, then there are lots of financial benefits, as one example.
Kevin: Right. Exactly. So we have these two benefits of list making externalizing and focusing. But it really begins to beg the question, "how will listing help with our losses?" Well, the reality is when we experience grief and loss, our subconscious mind creates a running list of all of our losses. And this list runs deep and wide all the way back to our childhood. Some of those ambiguous losses, our mind retains all of those things. And we talked last week about the stuffers and sharers and their attempt to deal with this grief.
And the principle still that applies for this week is the need to seek out practices that promote externalizing and focus missing. And so when we are using the practice of listing, we can begin to externalize our loss and begin focusing on the pain to start processing that loss.
When it comes to grief, then externalizing our loss and focusing on our pain will help us to begin to process that loss and help us to move forward.
Kathy: How do you recommend our listeners engage in this listing practice for grief?
Kevin: Good question. First, I want to say it may feel a little bit awkward at first to create a list as it relates to grief. It won't be as intuitive, but that's kind of the point, right, is to start using that part of your brain that wants to move through the grocery store really quickly and efficiently and budget consciously for your grief. There seems to be a disconnect, but if we can draw a bridge between those two parts of our mind, I think it will help engage our whole mind into our grief and help us to process it, which is really what the struggle is with our grief, is that we don't process it. It's just there.
The encouragement then is just to start. And the best way to start is have a blank piece of paper with lines and a pen and something to write with. Or if you're more of an electronic person like I am, pull up notes on your phone and just start making a running list.
You can start with the big things, work your way to the small things. You can start with the things that happened today, this week, since the beginning of the year. Just start writing down like basically a catch all list of all of the losses. What will begin to happen is some of those losses will relate to other little losses or there'll be subcategories of losses. You'll have some repeats of losses, but all of that externalizing of that loss will give you the opportunity to look at that list, to hold it in your hand, and to feel that affirmation of. No wonder I'm so tired, no wonder this has been so hard. Look at all that I've been through. And then that focus also gives you a new perspective to start to be more compassionate to yourself and helps you to focus in on where the pain is and where you need to be good to yourself and where you need to reach out for help and support.
Kathy: I think from my experience personally, and also doing this with our groups, when we're listing, we start writing down things we didn't even know were lost or things we had forgotten. I know that happened with me. And then drawing some links and connections between losses that I hadn't thought about for decades. So getting it out, the externalizing is super helpful. We had one student say she didn't know that her job loss that happened six years ago was the cause of her depression. It's a simple but very, very effective tool.
Kevin: Yeah. And that's what our brain does. Right. Our brain is wired to make connections. And so when we're creating a list like this and we're able to see it tangibly, the brain will start to naturally connect the dots of the losses that we've experienced and where a lot of our pain is coming from.
We've talked about the 6th stage of grief before, and that's meaning making. So when we find ourselves in the process of grieving, meaning making is such an important practice that we need to include in the highs and lows of a loss. And we can begin the process of meaning making at any point during our grief experience. If you're able to see the list of losses and your brain's drawing connections about how the loss that you experienced this week is related to a loss you experienced in your childhood or related to the thing that you didn't think was a loss that happened two years ago. The brain can make meaning from that. And that's what the processing work really becomes fruitful and beneficial.
Kevin: And so I think what I would like to do to conclude our episode today is to lead you all through a journaling exercise to begin the process of list making.
If you're in a place right now where you're able to grab something to write with or you have a device in front of you that you can type on, I want to invite you to open that up, to pull that out and get yourself in the mindset in a space where you can practice some of that journaling right now.
So with the piece of paper, with the device in front of you, I want you to just begin with the first thing that comes to mind when you think of grief, when you think of loss. What's that thing that happened to you that feels it's always there?
It's the heaviest thing in your backpack. Write that thing down first. Maybe there's more than one thing. Go ahead and start writing down some of the things that come to mind as you continue to write.
Think about the things that you may not traditionally think of as losses, but feel like pain points for you. So those difficult conversations that you've had recently, the time that somebody's at something that really hurt you, a time that something happened that made you upset in a way that you didn't expect, start writing down those things too.
You think about the different phases of your life, your earliest memories, your childhood, your young adult life, and even just your recent experiences. What are some of those points in time that have made a lasting impression?
A mark on you because of a loss, because of an experience, a difficult encounter? Write down those things too. You may be at a point in your journaling where you're getting stuck, and that's okay.
You can look over your list and review and see what other thoughts comes to mind. Even if there's something that you're not sure if it should be on the list, just add it. Just write it down. If it keeps coming to your mind, just write it down.
If you find yourself free flowing and writing a lot, go ahead and keep on writing until you get to a stopping point. Now that you're at the end and you're looking over your list, why don't you circle those things that feel most heavy right now?
I'm only imagining what you've written on your list. Thinking of my own list. And let me be the first to say, my goodness. No wonder you feel the way that you do. No wonder this has been so difficult for you. Look at all that you've been through. So for whatever you may be coping with, we want to extend our blessings to you.
Kevin: Well, welcome back, everybody, for another episode of Coping. Kathy and are happy to be here with you guys today.
Kathy: Yes. So welcome everyone. Last episode, we talked about grief in the four parts of ourselves: our body, our heart, our mind and our spirit.
Kevin: That's right. And in our quest for wholeness and reintegration, we begin coping with our loss in one of two main ways. And that's what we want to talk about today.
Kathy: That sounds really interesting. I'm really eager to hear more. Let's get started.
Kathy: So you mentioned that we often cope with our loss in one of two ways. Can you explain more?
Kevin: Yeah. So in my work with families and individuals at end of life, I have begun to realize that there's two main coping strategies when it comes to talking about our grief. There are two types of grievers. The first are the stuffers. The stuffers are those that hold their grief inside. Now, they do this for all sorts of reasons, but some of the reasons I've heard include it's too painful to talk about. I'm afraid if I start, I'm not going to be able to stop talking about it. In my culture, my family, my religion, expressing emotion is frowned upon. And of course, there's those social stigmas like men don't cry or I'm trying to hold it all together and be strong for my family.
Kevin: See, the main obstacle for Stuffers, their tendency is to internalize their loss through silence, hoping to digest their pain. In other words, if I hold in my pain. I can hold myself together. And of course, when it comes to grieving, this can be very counterproductive.
Kathy: That sounds exactly like me. I know that I always go inward when I'm dealing with anything, but when there's a loss, since my brain is in overdrive, trying to figure out how to cope and find a way to move forward, I am, what you just said, attempting to digest my pain. And manage it. Right.
Kevin: You're showing your strength through what you can handle.
Kathy: Sure.
Kevin: But the challenge with that is that grief needs to be processed.
Kathy: So would you say that you're a Stuffer too?
Kevin: Oh, that's a good question. Yeah. And actually, I am not a stuffer. I'm the other kind of griever. So the second kind of griever are the sharers. Right. So you're a stuffer, but I'm actually a sharer. So the sharer expresses their grief any chance that they can get. And they do this for all sorts of reasons. But some of the most common reasons or the ones that I've experienced myself or I've heard are “I'm being vulnerable and authentic. That's why I'm talking about my grief”. Or, “I don't want to be superficial. That's why I talk about the hard things”. Or, “I like connecting with people. We should all talk about this stuff more often”. Or, “sharing my story makes me feel less alone.”
Kevin: You see, the main obstacle and tendency for sharers is to externalize their loss through story, hoping to diffuse the pain. In other words, if I get my pain out, I can get back to myself. So where you see, the main tendency of stuffers is to utilize silence and hoping that they can digest the pain, it's the sharer who tries to externalize their loss through story, hoping to diffuse the pain. What we need to move away from is the silence or the story. Move away from trying to digest or diffuse and try to rethink about how we can process our grief.
Kathy: Right, but what I don't understand the question is what's wrong with sharing your story? Isn't that what the whole goal would be?
Kevin: That's a great question. There's nothing wrong with sharing your story, but we all know those people who share the same story over and over and over again, especially as it's related to somebody that they've lost or something that they've lost or a change that's happened in their life. We refer to these people as being "story stuck". I think we've all been there in our lives, though there may be something in our life right now that we're stories stuck in. And what happens is that we're telling the story again and again, feeling the emotions, the highs and lows of the experience, but not processing the underlying pain and the trauma that that story caused in our lives and the identity shift that's come from that loss.
Kevin: And so it really requires, whenever you're getting into story of stuckness, it usually requires some type of professional help so that somebody who's trained in processing that story to help really break it down and get you to that meaning making in order to find a way forward through it.
Kathy: Okay, so that makes sense. So for the sharers, story stuck is the issue, but for stuffers like me, how do I break my cycle? Is there something that I can work on?
Kevin: Yeah, so I think it's really just about building a practice of externalizing that pain, and a few simple ways to do that is through journaling. Oftentimes the stuffers are naturally introverted, and so journaling is a practice that doesn't feel so daunting and overwhelming to talk about your feelings. You get to process through writing. I think also stuffers can practice externalizing that loss through sharing with a trusted friend, inviting them to coffee or a phone call, just to say, hey, I want to share this thing going on with you. I just need you to listen. I'm not asking for advice or for help. I just want to take some time to share with you what's on my heart today. And I'm not even sure exactly what I'm feeling or how I'm doing.
Kevin: I just want to tell you what's on my mind and have a space to do that. And I know that you're a safe person who could hold that space with me. So I think whether with a trusted friend or in a journal or if you feel like you've attempted those two things and you're still feeling a little bit stuck or feeling silent, reaching out for some therapeutic help might also be wise as well.
Kathy: Wow, that's really helpful. And so just to clarify, what are the two main ways of processing, again?
Kevin: The two tendencies of grief really are the stuffing and the sharing.
Kathy: Is it a possibility to be a blend of both?
Kevin: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. This is actually one of the most common questions that we get when we include this in a grief workshop. There's times in your life that you may be stuffing. There may be other times in your life, other types of losses that you share, and there may even be some spaces in your life that you feel comfortable sharing and other spaces where you decide to stuff. And that's natural.
Kathy: That's helpful. And so remind me, what is the practice I can use as a stuffer?
Kevin: So as a stuffer, the tendency is to internalize, and so the practice is to externalize. So what you want to try to do is get the story out. And you can do that through journaling, talking with a trusted friend or speaking to a therapist or a counselor, somebody who can walk you through that story.
Kathy: And then for sharers like you?
Kevin: For folks like me, we must seek ways to focus on our pain rather than the story so that we might begin to process the loss. So Sharers can also utilize journaling, and instead of journaling the story, we can hone in on the pain, hone in on the loss, hone in on the change that's occurring. So what I recommend for Sharers is to move away from narrative journaling and start doing bullet point journaling. And what I would like for Sharers to do in their journaling is to use a list in order to identify the list of losses that have occurred. That's going to help us focus in on the pain behind the story rather than just the narrative that can--
Kathy: Keep us stuck.
Kevin: Yeah, exactly. It's going to actually help us feel less stuck because we're moving away from that story of stuckness.
Kathy: Well, Kevin, this was all super, super helpful. As we think about the ways that we process our grief, I'm wondering, as we end our conversation, if we could all just pause for a moment and ask themselves this question: are you a Stuffer? Are you a sharer? If you are a Stuffer, what are you currently stuffing right now? If you are a Sharer, what do you need to focus on to process this upcoming week?
Kevin: So whatever you may be coping with, blessings to you.
Thanksgiving gives us an opportunity to practice giving thanks especially as we prepare for the holiday season. However, Thanksgiving is only a one-day-a-year holiday. How do we develop a daily practice of giving thanks? Listen now.
How do you define coping? It's time to reframe our understanding of coping. Listen in as we provide a new framework for coping and detail how "coping well" relates to a life of significance. Enjoy!
This episode is also available as a YouTube Video. Watch here: https://youtu.be/jOL7j4tuyqU
Listen in as Chaplain Kevin and Kathy reflect on Season 2 of Coping. You'll hear their favorite moments and lessons from the past season. Be sure to listen to the end as they offer a sneak preview of Season 3! Enjoy.
Is God calling you? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Chaplain Kevin, who shares his compelling story of answering the call and saying yes to God. Kevin is interviewed by his ministry partner and wife Kathy.
Are you in need of belonging? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Summer, who shares her moving story of finding her people and understanding belonging.
Are you in need of trust? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Michelle, who shares her powerful story of showing up and learning to trust.
Are you in need of truth? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Anne, who shares her powerful story of finding her voice and telling her truth.
Are you in need of acceptance? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Amy, who shares her powerful story of acceptance.
Are you in need of grace? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Melinda, who shares her powerful story of grace.
Are you in need of Joy? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Lindsay, who shares her powerful story of Joy.
Are you in need of Love? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Jean, who shares her powerful story of Love.
Are you in need of faith? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Stephanie, who shares her inspiring story of faith.
Are you in need of courage? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Ana, who shares her inspiring story of courage.
Are you in need of perseverance? Listen in to our Coping Conversation with Kathy, who shares her inspiring story of perseverance.
As Season 1 comes to a close, we celebrate a full year of weekly meditations (52 in total) heard all around the world. I'm excited to reveal some exciting updates for season 2. Listen now.
Subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/KevinAnthonyDeegan
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:8
“The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
How will you ask for help during your busy day?
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Veteran's Day is a day to honor those brave men and women who have served in our Armed Forces.
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:7
“The Lord will watch over your life."
Where in your life do you need the Lord to watch over you?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:6
“The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night."
Where in your life are you facing an extreme situation?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:5
“The Lord watches over you (He) is your shade at your right hand."
How can you stand under His umbrella today?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:3b
“He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over with neither slumber nor sleep."
How will you stay alert in your walk of faith?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:3a:
“The Lord will not let your foot slip."
Where in your life are you slipping?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:2:
“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."
What kind of help do you need?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 121:1
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains, where does my help come from?"
Who do you usually turn to for help?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23: 6b
“And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
How are you trusting in the God's shepherd's faithfulness today?
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Sept 11 will forever be etched in our nation's soul as a day of remembrance.
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Labor Day a holiday where we applaud the social and economic achievements of our country's labor force.
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:6a
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life."
Where is the Lord's goodness in your life?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23: 5c
“He makes my cup overflow"
How is your cup overflowing?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23: 5b
“He anoints my head with oil."
For what purpose is God setting you apart?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:5a
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies."
What table has the Lord prepared for you?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23: 4b
“Your rod and staff ...they comfort me."
What will you allow the Lord to defend?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23: 4a
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for you are with me."
What have you asked for the Lord to guard today?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:b
“The Good Shepherd leads me in right paths, for His name's sake."
Where is He leading you today?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:
“The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want. He leads me besides still waters, he refreshes my soul."
What in your life do you need the refreshment of the Good Shepherd today?
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July 4th is a celebration where we commemorate and celebrate our nation's freedom and independence.
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:
“The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures."
In what ways is the Good Shepherd calling you to rest today?
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Psalm 103 describes our Heavenly Father as 'tender and compassionate to his children'
Listen now as we honor and celebrate our fathers.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:
“The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want."
What needs can you bring to the Good Shepherd today?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 23:
“The Lord is My Shepherd."
How is God your Good Shepherd?
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On this Memorial Day we take time to thank, honor and remember the brave men and women of our armed forces.
Listen now as we honor their sacrifice and dedication.
Pause & Reflect with me as we begin the Graduation Season:
1 Timothy 4 says: "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. "
Listen now as we honor our graduates.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The ninth fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Where do you need to display self-control this week?
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Throughout Scripture there are many special mothers. One of the most remarkable is Mary, the mother of Jesus. Whenever Mary noticed something special about her son Scripture says that she "treasured...all these things and pondered them all in her heart."
Listen now as we honor and celebrate mothers.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The eighth fruit of the Spirit is gentleness. Where do you need to display gentleness this week?
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Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The seventh fruit of the Spirit is faithfulness. Where in your life do you need to trust God's faithfulness this week?
Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The sixth fruit of the Spirit is goodness. Where can you display goodness this week?
Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The fifth fruit of the Spirit is kindness. Who in your life needs kindness this week?
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Pause with me and reflect on the passage in John 11:
After Jesus had said this, He called out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” The man who had been dead came out with his hands and feet bound in strips of linen, and his face wrapped in a cloth. "Take off the grave clothes and live!"
Resurrection Sunday is about new life. Where are you currently wearing old clothes? Which ones need to be removed so that you can fully live? Listen now.
Pause with me as we reflect on the words describing Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem in Matthew 21:9:
"The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
“Hosanna to the Son of David!”
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!"
“Hosanna in the highest heaven!
Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Holy Week. What are you praising God for this Easter?
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Pause with me as we reflect on St. Patrick's Day.
St. Patrick's Prayer says,
"May the Wisdom of God instruct us. May the Hand of God protect us. May the Way of God direct us. May the Shield of God defend us. "
Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The fourth fruit of the Spirit is patience. When in your life do you need patience?
Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The third fruit of the Spirit is peace. When in your life do you need peace today?
Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The second fruit of the Spirit is joy. How will you respond with joy in your difficult circumstances today? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me as we begin the Lenten Season:
Isaiah 61 says: "He will 'bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.'"
As we mark the beginning of the Lenten Season with Ash Wednesday, the marks symbolize the unseen wounds inside us. What sadness is lingering in you this season? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me as we celebrate Valentine's Day:
1 Corinthians 13 says: "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal… if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor … but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, [and] always perseveres.
Love never fails. …
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
St. Valentine is remembered as the patron saint of love and marriage. Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Galatians 5:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
The first attribute of the fruit of the Spirit is love. How will you love others with God's heart today? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 40:3:
“He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.”
When the rhythms of our lives become old and repetitive it's time for a new "song." What new "song" are you singing this next year? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.:
"Help us to remember that humanity was created to shine like the stars and live on through all eternity. Keep us, we pray, in perfect peace."
As we celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. today let us meditate on one of his prayers. How are you living as a peacemaker? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Leviticus 26:10:
“You shall have to clear out the old to make way for the new."”
Making resolutions in the New Year is similar to planning for a home renovation. Where in your life do you need to clear our the old to make way for the new? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Isaiah 43:18-19:
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Do you not perceive it?"
Forgetting "the former things" is difficult, especially after a challenging year. Where are you hoping for new things? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Psalm 51:10:
“Create in me a [new] heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.”
After a year filled with heartbreak and disappointment we can ask for renewal as we begin this new year. Where do you need God's renewal? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of James 1:17:
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father..."
Exchanging gifts with friends and family is a cherished holiday tradition. Is it possible to exchange, what we have, for the gift God is offering this season? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the song sung by the angels in Luke 2:14:
"Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth."
We hear seasonal songs playing on the radio, in shopping malls and in homes all over the world. How can these songs prepare our hearts for worship this Christmas season? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the story of the Wise Men in Matthew Chapter 2:
"Wise men from the East came to Jerusalem,saying, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him."
During the holidays, we often travel to visit family and friends. What does the story of the Wise Men reveal to us about the journey we embark on this season? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of Isaiah 9:2:
"People walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness, a light has dawned."
During the holidays, Christmas lights decorate our homes inside and out. What can these lights teach us about being a light in our world? Listen now.
Pause & Reflect with me on the words of 1 Thessalonians 5:18:
"Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you."
One of the most favorite traditions of Thanksgiving is partaking in the leftovers from our holiday gathering. What does Thanksgiving teach us about a daily practice of gratitude? Listen now.