Reg Christensen lives in the Midwest with his wife, Carol. They have seven children and seventeen grandchildren. Reg has fulfilled a variety of callings in the Church and he and Carol have been blessed with many service opportunities as Pathway missionaries and service volunteers at the BYU Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies, to mention a few. While living in Jerusalem, they served in the Bethlehem branch, Carol as the Relief Society president and Reg as the branch president. His happy times come from being with family and friends, reading, writing, woodworking, leathercrafting, exploring nature, and blessing lives with his handyman skills. He has published several books, including Unlocking Isaiah: Lessons and Insights that Draw Us to the Savior.
Enter Reg…A scriptural passage that has given me much joyful anticipation about life in heaven states,
“That same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:2)
Sister Chieko Okazaki, in discussing our preparation and quest for eternal life, said,
“At the end of this process, our Heavenly Parents will have sons and daughters who are their peers, their friends and their colleagues.”
I have delighted in my sociality here on earth—treasuring old friends and making new ones—and look forward to making new friends throughout eternity. For example, I hope to someday meet Christian scholar, C.S. Lewis—and even more so, to become his friend. I would love to sit by the fire with him, pose him questions, and learn from his wisdom.
As illustration of my appreciation of my lifetime blessings of sociality, I will share three brief examples of my friendship circles. (And I emphasize that these are samples of many that could be shared; I value all my friends from all walks and time periods of my life.) I will begin each by sharing a relevant quotation from C. S. Lewis.
Snow FriendsIn a quote taken from “The Four Loves” by C. S. Lewis:
“Friendship is something that raised us almost above humanity. This love, free from instinct, free from all duties but those which love has freely assumed, almost wholly free from jealousy, and free without qualification from the need to be needed, is eminently spiritual. It is the sort of love one can imagine between angels.”
After completing sixth grade in my little town, I experienced some culture shock as I boarded a bus each day and rode about twenty-five miles round trip to junior high school. I met and became acquainted with many people and naturally drew closer to some. After junior high school, my bus ride to high school was shortened to only a dozen miles round trip. My friendship circle grew slightly, but mostly I gravitated to the circle of friends from junior high school. After high school, most of us parted ways to serve missions, not knowing if we would ever cross paths again. I also served a stint in the military.
After our missions, several of us settled into Snow College—a cozy and friendly junior college near our homes. There we joyfully added some new friends to our circle, which was not a closed group but just a natural blending of personalities, values, circumstances, and interests. After Snow College, we again parted company—this time for marriage and further education that I was sure would dissolve our circle. But someone among us suggested that the ten or so of us get back together in a year for a reunion. We did—and have been doing so every single year, with our spouses, for what is now fast approaching a half century. Incredible! I was personally never absent from our annual get-togethers until moving to the Midwest; now I attend when I can and regret when I cannot. Two of our original group have died during recent months.
My words cannot describe the history, love, empathy, and camaraderie among this group—the reason I called on the words of C. S. Lewis for help. Yes, any hints of jealousy that may have existed have long since given way to sincere empathy and goodwill. Yes, our common temporal struggles have evolved into spiritual unity. Our earthly friendship has grown into eternal sociality and love.
Ward Campout FriendsA famous sentiment of C. S. Lewis:
“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a fire?”
As a young man in my early twenties, shortly after my wife and I moved into a community to begin my first job after college, I was called to serve as a counselor in a bishopric. Our bishop seemed intent on having a ward campout to build fellowship and unity among our members. The challenge was that the timing of our calling was such that there were no open reservations available in any campground area within what we thought was a reasonable distance. One day during further discussion of our dilemma, I just happened to mention that I could arrange with my father to let us camp on his hobby farm, which was a reasonable driving distance from our homes. I cautioned that there was no running water, no restroom facilities, and not much of anything that I had considered as the “fun” we were seeking for our group. It turned out I was wrong about the fun.
From a position of desperation, our bishop gave me the green light for the activity that consumed much of my life during the coming months. I procured a second outhouse to be neighbor to the one on the property and hand dug new holes for them. Dad and I spruced up the old outdoor cook shack (a roof suspended on cedar posts) and large coal cook stove within. We timed the harvesting of the alfalfa hay and the sprinkler irrigation to accommodate the event. We arranged reservations at the local motel for a group of widows who wanted in on the adventure but did not want to camp. A local sheep rancher loaned us his water 355 tank for a few days so we could provide fresh water to the group. The event began to take on a life of its own as one idea led to another.
We planned the event, and the people came. Dad seemed to be in the height of his glory as the campers—some with tents and some with RVs and motorhomes— began to arrive. “Tell OPEC to go to hell!” was his grinning greeting from his horse drawn buggy—particularly to those driving the big gas-guzzlers. (Of note: In 1973, OPEC imposed an embargo on the United States in retaliation for its support of Israel in the Arab-Israeli War. This embargo caused drastic price increases for gasoline. Dad was beating them at their own game by driving his horse-drawn buggy and thus partially boycotting the gas pumps.)
Our ward activities committee went above and beyond their call of duty with fun activities for everyone. Young and old scoured the hayfields and woods for red-painted rocks which they redeemed for small treats or prizes. After dark, the little children were escorted into the woods where they discovered a tiny “brownie village” with little people who spoke to them in funny voices and amazed them with questions and details about their personal lives and families. We procured an old piano from the local school to accompany the Fairview Harmonica Band for the campfire program. Dad delighted as the master of ceremonies and accordion player for this performance. After the band, as I shared the lore and history of the local Indian wars of days gone by, our group was attacked by a ferocious band of warriors who “still lived in these hills”—thanks to some from the local Elder’s quorum who accepted my invitation to add this touch of fun to the festivities.
Mom made enough of her famous sourdough pancake batter to feed a small army. When some announced that they did not think they liked sourdough, Dad sneaked the batter bucket behind the kitchen to divide it into two pans which he then labeled with “Sourdough” and “Regular.” Those who had not liked the “Sourdough” said they really liked the “Regular.” After we revealed our prank, we no longer needed to divide and label. All was well.
The outing was such a success that everyone wanted a repeat each year for most of the next decade. The empty nesters of the ward liked to go a few days early and stay a few days longer than the event, as did I whenever I could get away. We had such great times sitting around the campfire and learning life from such lovely people. The outings at the farm combined with daily life the rest of the year back at home cemented our love and fellowship. They became my eternal friends.
Coordinator FriendsC. S. Lewis shared:
“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”
When I moved to the Midwest to marry my wife, I experienced a stretch of exasperation and discouragement trying to figure out how to support my family. Finally, in frustration, I reverted to something that I knew I could succeed at— carpet installation. I dusted off my tools, purchased an old cargo van, and went to work. After about a year of this brutal stress on my aging body, I was installing the carpet in a new home when my phone rang. It was the administrator of the Church Educational System who had responsibility for the Midwest. After some pleasantries and congratulations on my rehiring into the system, he asked, “How would you feel about serving as the director of the Institute of Religion and coordinator of seminaries and institutes there in Wisconsin?” I replied, “Gratefully yes!” and began a new adventure with a steep learning curve.
We soon had a convention for the 20 or so coordinators scattered across 10 Midwestern states. What wonderful souls!—so experienced and so wise and helpful and caring. I was pleased to learn that we would be having several such sessions during each year, some with our wives in attendance. Over the coming years of my term of service, I much enjoyed their company and learned so much from them. As I climbed my learning curve, they were right there to guide me along and offer me wise responses to my many questions. After a long one-on one evening session with a former cowboy who heard my concerns, calmed my anxieties, and offered good and wise counsel, he asked, “Well, is the saddle fitting a little better now?” I replied, “It sure is—thank you so much!” I went forward with renewed confidence.
As part of our conventions, we hiked, drove, explored, camped, and studied the local historical sites and points of interest of the areas of our meetings. We enjoyed one another’s happy times and wept at the sorrows. They challenged me, sometimes giving me assignments that I felt were well beyond my ability, but they mentored and supported me so I could not fail.
Eternal LoveI love these friends with eternal love.
Do you see why the doctrine of eternal sociality, coupled with eternal glory, is so sweet to me? My prayer is that it is and will be for you also. I want to share a few principles that will make it so.
First, in seeking eternal friendships, learn to be your own best friend. Be the kind of person people will trust and want to be with. Be true to what you know to be true. Shakespeare wrote wise counsel:
“This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day. Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
Seek friends who are worthy of your, and their own, eternal potential. If your seeking takes you to a place you really do not want to go, do not go. Change directions. Seek new friendships. Befriend those who will help you be better.
Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught, Someone has said,
“A friend is a person who is willing to take me the way I am.”
Accepting this as one definition of the word, may I quickly suggest that we are something less than a real friend if we leave a person the same way we find him.
There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly, the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence.
Be soothing yet strong with all. Nurture your friends. Help them speak truth, and when they do, believe them. Be tender with their feelings. An Arabic proverb says,
“A friend is one to whom one can pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keeping what is worth keeping, and, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”
Our Savior declares the ultimate test of friendship:
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)
He, of course, achieved this with perfection. The rest of us will probably not be placed in such a position of required sacrifice. But we reverence the relatively few who do—soldiers in battle, first responders, and the like. I am incredibly grateful for these folks.
We likely will not be called on to die for others as some have done, but the Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, gives a universal goal achievable by each of us:
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” (Romans 12:1)
If we ever have need to die for our friends, I pray that we may be noble enough to do what is right. I know that those who do will be eternally compensated for their sacrifice. But we each have opportunity to live for our friends. That is what my friends have done for me with their kindness, encouragement, prayers, correction, and enduring love and fellowship. To them I am forever grateful. I hope you and I and everyone can do likewise.
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