Larry Hertzog was born. There have been rumors to the contrary but his mother insists that the event occurred late in the sweltering summer of 1951. When the residents of Flushing, N.Y. became aware of his existence in their neighborhood, the family was soon forced to flee into the suburbs of New Jersey.

Fate would have it that Larry was destined to grow up in the John Hughes world of Teaneck, New Jersey. It was in the flames of suburban heat that this more-than-slightly-twisted personality was forged.

Growing up, Larry got along well with his peers. He admired many girls and though his admiration was rarely returned, he made sure to repay their generosity by indulging in copious evening fantasies. There were a few boys that he managed to befriend though many drew the line when he requested they join him in singing show tunes.

At the extremely mature age of 16, Larry quit Teaneck High School to pursue a career in horticulture. When that failed, he briefly attended NYU Film School. When it became apparent that kissing Marty Scorsese’s ass was part of the curriculum, Larry saw yet another opportunity to cut bait and leave another institution of higher education behind him.

Untethered in the late 60’s, Larry realized he now had a chance to pursue his generation’s foray into “free love.” He discovered, to his delight, that although no one of the opposite sex would pay attention to him, his fantasies were, indeed, free.

With horticulture behind him and a promising future ahead of him, Larry packed up his bags and moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the film industry. He soon found himself behind Camera 1 covering the Los Angeles Thunderbirds, an all-female Roller Derby team. Though these women appeared to be “on a similar intellectual plane,” they, too, ignored him. (Except for an incident in which he was upended with a flying crotch block.)

With his career in athletics a shamble, he turned to the only avenue left to him. Writing. He was counseled to write about what he knew best. He soon discovered there was little market for scripts about “night fantasies.”

The rest of the story involves his work on “Kate Loves a Mystery,” “Hart to Hart,” “Hardcastle and McCormick,” “Stingray,” “J.J. Starbuck,” “seaQuest,” “Nowhere Man,” “Profiler,” “Walker, Texas Ranger,” “Hunter,” “La Femme Nikita” and “Missing” (referred to by his biographers as “The Canadian Years.”)

The end of the story hasn’t been written yet though many are anxious to hear it. When it comes, it’s reasonably sure that the headlines will be HUGE. “Failed Horticulturist Chokes on Double-Whopper with Cheese.”

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Sadly, friend of MIPtalk Larry Hertzog passed away on April 19, 2008.

Brad and Noam have decided to honor his memory by reairing an episode of his podcast series Drinks with Larry and Lauren. This episode is a bit longer that usual but definitely worth the listen.

For additional reference we’ve included links to some of the people, places and things discussed in this episode:

City of Prescott, Arizona Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars Woodrow Wilson The League of Nations The Heritage Foundation The Andre Agassi Foundation Children for Tomorrow Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health Frank Gehry Oscar Goodman - Mayor of Las Vegas Oscar Goldman - Character in Bionic Woman GLAAD Media Awards Shelter Here! Network Regent Entertainment Shelter DVD Audio Commentary Trevor Wright Jonah Markowitz Noah’s Arc JD Disalvatore - The Smoking Cocktail Paul Colichman Carolyn Coal Gay and Lesbian Elder Housing Same Sex Marriage in Iowa Gary Gates A Place to Live: The Story of Triangle Square Cleveland International Film Festival The 23rd London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival The 25th Annual Boston LGBT Film Festival Highlander: The Series Hercules: The Legendary Journeys Xena: Warrior Princess UPN DuMont Television Network Star Trek Voyager Star Trek directed by JJ Abrams Nowhere Man The Prisone