Danny Lavery welcomes R.O. Kwon, the nationally bestselling author of The Incendiaries and the co-editor of Kink. Lavery and Kwon read a letter from someone who is realizing that they are not asexual, but they don’t know how to tell their boyfriend. Give the gift of Plus to a fellow Slate fan and they’ll receive all the benefits of membership: unlimited reading, ad-free listening, bonus content, and so much more. Learn more here. Need advice? Send Danny a question here. Email: mood@slate.com Production by Phil Surkis