Guest on the line: Dr. Mashudu David Mbedzi, marriage counsellor and author of the book titled “Married but Intimately Divorced” and “Wrong: Husband, Wife, and Partner”.

How to change Negative Thoughts into Positive Actions?

• Quiet the negative inner voice

• Learn to cope under negative pressure

• Are negative thoughts affecting every area of your life?

• Get to know your inner child (sub consciousness) e.g. emotional memories or emotional pain

*Negative thoughts can take many forms (also called 10 distorted thinking patterns)

• polarised thinking (e.g. I have failed)

• Overgeneralisation (this always happens to me; I will never find anyone; I always have bad luck)

• Mental filtering (When I had a business, money, friends, wonderful partner....I was only focussing on.....(stop self-blame)

• Mind reading (When my partner introduced me to friends/family I was sitting thinking they hate me)

• Catastrophizing (am going to lose my clients, my job)

Emotional reasoning (The time my ex- manager suggested I apply for a better position.... I thought I will not get the job anyway...?)

"Should statements"...( I should be waking up early. l...Should be... now I blame myself)

• Personalizing & Blame (I can't do anything right...I must have done something wrong...( delete Inner child)

• change Negativity to Neutrality (This is impossible but let's try a different approach....)

• be brutally honest with yourself (identify areas to change)

• STOP feeling sorry for yourself