You need to grow but you have to let go of control. Because you can't not control the process.  Some of us want to be in leadership positions, others want to create new ways of doing things. Whatever it is you want to achieve  you are going to go through a process that's going to help you achieve your desired outcome. But it is the process most of us dread but what you're asking for requires growth. So go through that process trusting it all working out for your desired outcome.