Tired of misunderstandings? Chip shares how to move past hurt feelings and start having genuine heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse today.

How to effectively communicate:

I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12

  1. COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
  2. KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
  3. HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
  4. GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
  5. PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9

II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication

  1. “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
  2. The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11

The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)

III. The problem:

  • We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.

IV. The solution is threefold:

  1. Don’t buy the old lies*

  2. I am what I have: Possessions

  3. I am what I accomplish: Performance
  4. I am what others think of me: Popularity

  5. Dress appropriately for your mate

  6. A – AFFIRMATION

  7. W – WARMTH
  8. E – ENCOURAGEMENT

  9. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**

  10. What are you concerned about?

  11. What do you wish?
  12. What are you willing to do?

Discover Your True Self bookand Affirmation Cards* by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.

**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.

Broadcast Resource

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Additional Resource Mentions

  • I Choose Love Book
  • "The Five Love Languages" Book by Gary Chapman

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