moved back to school! got asked about my ten year plan as an ice breaker and went down the good ole ‘i have no clue what i’m doing’ rabbit hole hahah. so let’s talk about change, the only constant we’ve got! why is change so hard- even good change? Why do we spend so much time figuring out ourselves whilst we’re always changing- will we ever have an answer? potential for liberation through exploring rather than trapping ourselves with descriptors that often revolve around what we do, rather than what we love.

when moving back to college- why do we feel so much pressure to have the best time ever? The pressure ruins it! why can’t we just be? the inner turmoil between honoring my introverted tendencies but also wanting to create new relationships. & also why i love rainy nights because i crave affirmation to rest without feeling guilty.

part of the reason why college was so fun to so many adults is because of “accessible” community based living rather than traditional family based homes. can we advocate for people with physical disabilities by not only fixing streets and infrastructure, but also through interdependence throughout our daily interactions? & during the mental health crisis of today- why is the world physically set up to isolate? more inclusive language for walkable communities?

& why do i view myself as ‘another fish in the sea’ when surrounded by similar people, rather than a fish in community with others? patriarchy & subconsciously seeing other girls as competition. there’s always enough room at the table, we just choose to exclude. & a gentle reminder that you don’t have to be the prettiest, or the coolest, or have the most friends to sit with in the dining hall. you just have to be you!

i like to think that through all of my own life transitions, things have been hard, relationships haven’t lasted forever- but i’ve always been okay. why would this stop now? strictly within the privileged concept of college, what is the worst that can happen? what if we embraced failure and change rather than resist it?

you’re doing so much better than you think you are simply by showing up. you don’t have to have a ten year plan, you can just exist in the freedom of unbinding certainty!
recorded sitting next to the beach- you can be free just as the waves are. free from self imposed expectations, free to exist differently on different days.

the disability theology podcast mentioned:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6WBqeeVrvPsmLPeImTyiL0?si=nOez6m2VR5aA3DVvwWQ6EA