London Walks: Recent Episodes

London Walks

London Walks is the oldest urban walking tour company on the planet. It’s the gold standard of this profession, this craft. Here you can listen to our guides' stories and anecdotes of London.

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The woman who put the dirt of Dachau on Hitler’s bathmat.

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The people in those vessels are not called bodies. They’re called patients.

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The most wonderfully landlocked ship in London.

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...they’re old leather boots. Heavy, battered, workaday things. Except they’ve been silver-plated.

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Each of those 39 stab wounds a candle blown out.

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He created a demonstration of modern life.

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the capitalist who financed communism.

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Everything you know of your life...

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A 100 years ago today London changed colour.

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Not bad for the fellow who first walked onto a London stage as Deputy Nincompoop.

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Three centuries and change later, London is still saying thank you.

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Like Budapest. Two cities separated by a river.

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The atmosphere is unlike anywhere else in London.

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the smallest discoveries can be the biggest of all

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A mischievous rabbit in a little blue jacket.

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the gaming there was worthy of “the decline of an empire.”

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That’s not a walking tour possum, that’s an endurance event with a gift shop.

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One has even become a little village fish tank.

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Whole streets became darker. Literally darker. Britain’s first blackout had begun.

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they shaped modern architecture around the world

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The handsomest weather vane in London.

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The walls had ears. Hitler’s generals never knew.

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Everybody recognises Number 10. Almost nobody knows it.

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That’s London. Classic London. Reinventing itself. Rewriting the record books.

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The Chinese had a name for these Western explorers. ‘The Foreign Devils.’

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The geography of his inspiration is remarkably intact.

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Turn left at the giant turkey""

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Vivid enough, colourful enough for you?

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London is one of Europe’s great bird cities.

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The quietest park in London was once the noisiest place in Britain.

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The smallest Royal Park has one of London's biggest surprises.

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The one assaults you. The other quietly welcomes you, invites you, soothes you.

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Because every Londoner has a handful of places that reassure them the city hasn’t lost its soul. Burlington Arcade is one of mine.

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Beadle and Buddha are distant linguistic cousins.

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It’s the oldest and grandest shopping arcade in Britain

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Feline goings on from around the world

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Marie Stopes taught a nation about sex because her own wedding night went so catastrophically wrong.

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If you alter it without consent? You can be prosecuted. Criminally.

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the nearest the likes of me is ever going to get to an ancient, ever-so-posh, ever-so-upper-class English gentlemen’s club.

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It feels like they’ve opened it up just for us.

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How much forest is fourteen million books?

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We get you inside it.Inside its grain. Its texture. Its hidden circuitry.

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A woman complaining her cat looked “a bit grumpy.”

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It’s one of the great hidden literacies of the city.

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From rogue to national treasure.

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"On that note, let's pull the chain [hearty chuckle follows]"

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That’s not transport. That’s teleportation.

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London’s going absolutely berserk.

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London is a watercolour city.

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St Paul’s filled with imaginary loaves.

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It's already queued up.

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He began by shaping wood and ended by shaping a city.

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The flower at full bloom. The village in festival dress.

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The organisation that today bestrides world football like a colossus. And England wanted no part of it.

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Because London was confronted by something truly alarming. A naked man.

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London Calling. London Walks connecting. This is London. This is London Walks. Streets Ahead. Story time. History time. The Royal Academy Summer Exhibition opened yesterday. June 16th. Which is another way of saying that summer has arrived in London. Not officially. Not astronomically. Not according to the Met Office. London has its own calendar. And […]

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Hogarth used Barts’ patients as models for some of the figures in the paintings.

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“Hairy Meatball on Chaise Lounge.”

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The problem was never Benedict Arnold’s courage. The problem was Benedict Arnold.

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The first British monarch ever to travel by rail is hauled by a locomotive named after a flaming river in Hell.

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the dead refusing to stay dead

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London is full of ghosts with forwarding addresses.

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A dog is weeing on something. There's a corpse in the next room.

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ham sliced so thin you could read a newspaper through it

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behind one of those front doors the Victorians are still at home.

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the man who once ruled London with a neckcloth and a sneer

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"the British don't talk, they just kinda mind their own business"

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Tempest Slinger. Was ever lawyer better named?

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Only the British could take the safest, most respectable hat ever invented and weaponise it.

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"I'm a licensed dealer in legs"

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the hippest man in the room

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So nervous she licked all her lipstick off while waiting in the reception line.

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Until one woman walked into the room and quietly refused to leave.

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The man who kicked open the doors of English drama and let the lightning in.

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An entire London history in one vanished gate.

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James Bond is wish fulfilment in a dinner jacket

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You suddenly realise that what looks like mere decoration is actually fossilised history.

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Eastern European aristocrat arrives in England bringing corruption, contagion, nocturnal habits and highly irregular neck behaviour.

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Being a tax collector in medieval London was not exactly a popularity-enhancing career choice.

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...the man arriving back in London was spiritually shattered.

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His body was left hanging there for years.

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There's a whole civilisation up there.

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Humphrey Bogart. Graham Greene. A private detective in a down-at-heel bar.

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Words are footprints in wet cement...

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My pharmacist is also my librarian.

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"POISON GAS FROM SPACE"

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“Less British Museum and more life”

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Keeper of the flame...

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"interest in the Beatles is at a pan-generational all-time high"

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On May 14th, 1767, tea helped set the world on fire.

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The Victorian computer visionary comparing programming to embroidery.

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"Laughter is an important weapon..."

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Blowing out 26 candles on a birthday cake the size of a power station

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The law had a rather dim view of women becoming lawyers.

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A birthday party for a puppet

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he became part of the emotional weather of this country

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It's Browning's masterpiece and London finally applauds.

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If my death and the destruction of my reputation are necessary for your happiness…

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In Highgate Cemetery, under that enormous head, London keeps him still.

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The rabbit hole that’s still there if you know where to look.

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Perfect for a man selling opera, elegance, and a bit of sparkle.

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It's vintage Margot. A correction… and a demolition… in one perfectly aimed sentence.

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Half of London pretending not to notice what it so obviously is.

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This is London doing country-house grandeur.

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"Bandit consumed 37 hairbands. He's none the worse for wear after his adventure."

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the glass-and-steel spike cluster of Canary Wharf rises like a mirage

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Its bar had become notorious.

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It just quietly gets on with being rather good.

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One of the greatest feats of navigation in history

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A thousand years of history… tucked into three syllables.

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There he is, seated among the broken stones, and history taps him on the shoulder.

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Daniel Defoe. We find him in London.

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You don't watch her. You feel her.

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Wealthiest residential district in the United Kingdom.

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April 23rd isn't just a date, it's a crowded room.

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“I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows.”

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"First impression... it's so green"

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You see the whole improbable procession

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God died on Piccadilly.

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sometimes what comes out of that little game is… uncanny

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world history hung in the balance

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She always hits the right note

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a man who would change the way the world eats.

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a silver trumpet muffled in silk

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The heart and soul of literary London

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a local boy who carried his patch of London with him onto the world stage...

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"not bloody likely"

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“Wot’s that then?” “Some kind o’ foreign cucumber?”

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the old rogue’s head doesn’t just go quietly...

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Every night. For something like 700 years.

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Never cleaned his shoes because cleaning wears them out.

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Brixton Market, London... a concentrate of cultures.

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he moment he brought that action, Oscar Wilde stepped into a trap.

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This is London as you’ve never seen it. Didn’t know it could be.

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From a prison cell in the Tower…
to a system of government that still shapes Britain today…

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An actress young enough to be his daughter...

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...one of the greatest hoaxes in London history

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Send not to know for whom the bell tolls...

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...a man on a bicycle looking at a sleeping city.

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This is where London really comes into its own.

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...he is made batman to David Niven

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You haven’t gone far. But you’ve gone elsewhere.

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That’s not ancient history. That’s yesterday with better tailoring.

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"it was the world's first underwater concert hall"

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This is not just another Jack the Ripper book.

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"Charlie’s vital green thread through the capital led us instead…along river paths and bridleways…through woodland…past orchards…along the edges of hayfields…through parks and gardens…"

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Circus proprietor. Spy. Listening in.

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This is not domestic scale. This is architectural swagger.

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The whole thing – Newton in your pocket.

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"how much more emotional and vivid a story is when you are standing in front of it, rather than glancing at a screen"

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He writes like someone crossing a room full of mousetraps.

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"70 million people around the world can claim Irish heritage"

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The drawings caused a sensation.

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Radio – already powerful – suddenly acquired a cathedral.

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A Japanese town run entirely by British civil servants.

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aviation was still magical then.

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He died while talking about music.

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The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy began as a wildly improbable idea brought to life in London. This is the story of Douglas Adams, the BBC, and the birth of one of the funniest creations in modern fiction.

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London. The National Gallery. A suffragette. A meat cleaver. And the Rokeby Venus.

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The mini skirt explodes onto the streets of Swinging London in the 1960s. The story begins with French designer André Courrèges, a former civil engineer whose futuristic fashions helped ignite a revolution that London girls turned into a global sensation.

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The Blind Beggar shooting was too brazen.

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He didn’t just paint animals. He gave them emotion.

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He didn't know it but at that moment Charles Cross insured his immortality within the pages of history books.

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After Selfridge, shopping became a leisure activity.

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Now if you know Oxford Street you know the soundtrack. Buses roaring. Taxi horns. Engines revving. Delivery vans edging forward inch by inch like nervous chess pieces. It’s noisy, chaotic, gloriously unmistakably London. So imagine this: Oxford Street… without traffic.

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Sixty years ago a seemingly innocuous feature in a London newspaper triggered one of the most extraordinary cultural storms of the 1960s. In a quiet interview with the Evening Standard, John Lennon made a remark that travelled from Fleet Street to the American South — and ignited bonfires of Beatles records. In this episode we trace the tiny London tremor that became an international cultural earthquake.

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Why is Everest called Everest? At dusk on the world’s highest peak, we discover a name, a surveyor, and, yes, a London story. A March 3rd story.

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Before January claimed the crown, the year began in March. In this London Walks dispatch we step back into Roman Londinium to see how New Year’s Day once fell on March 1st.

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Born in Shepherd’s Bush and armed with one of rock’s great roars, Roger Daltrey helped define the sound of modern London. Today’s London Calling marks the birthday of The Who’s legendary frontman.

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Meet John Tenniel, the London artist who gave the world Alice, the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire Cat. Born on February 28, this quiet Punch cartoonist drew the definitive Wonderland.

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It’s about the seismic shockwave that followed, and is still being felt nearly a thousand years later.

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The Bank of England. did something quietly revolutionary.

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a city that understands the fine art of dignified absurdity

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By early evening the blue-and-yellow flags will start to appear.

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It's one of the most jaw-dropping episodes this city has ever produced.

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Seven centuries of continuity

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Change is in the air.

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"the trains are now painted with whiskers and paws"

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If we could but look into the seeds of time...

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the book came in for praise from a very distinguished quarter

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trouble wearing velvet

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Halfway to heaven on a ladder that looks about as reassuring as overcooked spaghetti.

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The city did not just inherit brilliance. In many cases, it saved it.

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a tear drop on the cheek of time

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A medieval city that once feared fire now fears water.

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that black, bottomless pit was death

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the “Great Stink” of 1858 made Parliament gag

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she was in the grip of the most ferocious creative surge of her life.

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Painted across the 1860s, it isn’t a single memory – it’s grief revisited.

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He weighed the world...and made it run on Greenwich time.

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There was no honour among body thieves.

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Down below, chaos. Fear. Guns. A body on the steps.

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Into that street, that soundscape, that smellscape, comes Thomas More.

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Old Rowley had put the country back in foal.

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“So this is Death: well …”

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London grit meets London showmanship.

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The familiar made strange; the invisible made visible.

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Outside, the carts are rumbling past, piled with bodies.

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London is permanently pregnant with itself.

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London does something extraordinary. It decides to fight back against itself.

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One of those perfect London moments...

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"you'll never be lonely if you play a musical instrument"

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London published it. The world kept it.

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“What if I’m clueless about rugby?” Perfect. You’re hired.

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"Daddy, who's the man sitting on Gordon?"

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She makes the ordinary radiant.

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Rats are disorder made flesh.

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It's quite a comedown. Or quite an immortality.

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The United Nations has fewer member states than London has languages.

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It tells you almost everything about the man...

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You're not just eating a cheese sandwich, you're tasting history.

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Hydrogen plus fire equals catastrophe.

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"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain"

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He was a climber who treated the Alps like a cathedral.

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History sometimes strikes a chord so deep it seems almost deliberate.

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I was a Labour MP from 1997 to 2010...

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If Big Ben measures time, the Division Bell claims it.

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That's Harrods. And that's London.

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"This gorilla was abandoned"

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London would never be the same again.

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You can hear the future forming in the songs...

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Here's our white glove tip of the week...

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History doesn’t always announce itself with a roar.

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"Earth, receive an honoured guest"

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The walk that uncovers the story behind the warning label on our age.

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So how English was Edward the Confessor?

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Classic Attenborough...finding wonder in the overlooked.

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What he had was an eye like a hawk...

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Picture a glowing amber liquid in candlelight...

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Thank God he picked up his pen.

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and auld lang syne

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I’m going to do a piece on London Walks at home. Or, more precisely, a piece on my home patch, my London.

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Possibly the most civilised retail space in Britain.

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And plonked right in the middle of it all: the Acropolis.

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London declaring itself heir not just to empire, but to spectacle itself.

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What if Trafalgar Square didn’t have Nelson’s Column at all, but a full-scale Great Pyramid instead? Not a model. Not a metaphor. Six million tonnes of ancient Egyptian stone plonked right where the fountains are. This piece takes one of the most jaw-dropping, gloriously bonkers proposals in London history and lets it rip, measuring the pyramid against the National Gallery and St Martin-in-the-Fields, marvelling at its insane size and weight, and imagining Londoners calmly going about their business in the shadow of a monument built for eternity. Big, bold, cheeky and very London.

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Every Christmas morning since 1864 (with only one modern break), a hardy band of swimmers has plunged into the icy Serpentine in Hyde Park for a 100-yard dash that has become London’s most extraordinary yuletide tradition. Born from Victorian bravado, crowned with the Peter Pan Cup, and often surrounded by ice and applause, this event is part challenge, part spectacle and utterly festive – a cold-water ritual that defines Christmas in the capital.

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Maria Taglioni changed ballet forever. In the early nineteenth century she reinvented the art form, dancing en pointe not as a trick but as poetry, creating the illusion of weightlessness and giving birth to Romantic ballet. This lively, story-rich piece traces her extraordinary rise, her London triumphs at Her Majesty’s Theatre, and her surprisingly proper London life in Connaught Square, just off Marble Arch. From Parisian hysteria to West End adoration, this is the story of the woman who taught audiences across Europe how to believe in flight.

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A short walk in London is like a wine tasting. Initial impressions give way to lingering flavours, and just when you think you know the city, it surprises you again. From Shakespeare’s great line about “infinite variety” to the quiet delight of London’s blue plaques, this piece explores the city’s knack for offering small, unsolicited gifts – moments of history, genius, and wonder poured out as you walk. A reflection on why age cannot wither London, and why even a few yards on foot can feel rich, layered, and intoxicating.

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On December 22, 1880, George Eliot died quietly in her house on Cheyne Row in Chelsea, brought down not by drama but by a winter cold caught at a London concert. This piece revisits her final days and the life behind the name: the woman who disguised herself to be heard, wrote novels that taught generations how to think and feel, and reshaped English fiction by insisting that ordinary lives mattered. A winter tale of intellect, sympathy, and the quiet power of place.

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At one o’clock on a this day in 1846, a man lay on a table in Bloomsbury, a surgeon raised a knife, and pain was about to be switched off for the first time in British history.

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Saturday stands slightly apart from the rest of the week. It has ancient roots, a planetary name, and a modern reputation as the day when time loosens its tie. Today's podcast is a gentle (and, yes, personal) wander through its – Saturday's – meaning and magic.

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Charles Mathews was Dickens’ favourite actor, a one-man phenomenon who turned London into a cast of characters. This podcast explores his world, his Adelphi triumphs, and the birth of modern performance. And a rider, London Walks is also launching a brand-new walk guided by a former MP, bringing a rare insider’s perspective to a very different strand of the London story.

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On December 18, 1679, England’s leading poet, John Dryden, was attacked and beaten in a dark Covent Garden alley outside the Lamb, the area’s oldest pub. The motive was literary. Dryden was wrongly suspected of having written An Essay on Satire, a venomous anonymous poem that skewered the corruption of the Restoration court and appeared to take aim at the Earl of Rochester. The real author was an aristocrat safely protected by rank, but Dryden, a professional writer, paid the price. This piece revisits a story previously told on the London Walks podcast, but from a new angle, exploring how satire worked in Restoration London, why certain lines were dangerous enough to provoke violence, and how words once carried consequences measured in bruises and broken skin.

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Published on December 17, 1843, A Christmas Carol emerged from Dickens’s London of fog, gaslight and inequality. This podcast is about the little book that help reinvent Christmas. And about Dickens, his London, and our Dickens's Christmas Carol & Seasonal Traditions Walk.

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"sets you up nicely should that come up as a question in a pub quiz"

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A lively, cinematic wander into the story of St Martin in the Fields, the church that began life in the fields and ended up beating at the heart of London. From plague pits to Handel, from Nell Gwyn’s funeral bells to today’s world-famous concerts and homelessness work, this is the tale of the warmest, most open-armed church in the city. Architecture. Anecdote. Music. Magic. St Martin’s has it all.

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Step off the roaring streets and into a Christmas whispered along the water. On the winter solstice, we explore the Regent’s Canal’s Cinderella stretch, from narrowboats and towpath tales to the transformed world of Granary Square, finishing with St Pancras’s treasure trove of history. A festive London Walk full of stories, atmosphere and discovery.

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On the anniversary of Samuel Johnson’s death, we look back at the life of the man who gave the English language its first great map. From Lichfield beginnings to London triumphs, Johnson’s wit, grit and mighty dictionary reshaped literature and defined an age. A portrait of a brilliant, battered, booming voice that still echoes through London’s streets and our own daily speech.

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A vivid, fast moving, cinematic look at Robert Browning on the anniversary of his 1889 Death in Venice. A London-born poet who reinvented the dramatic monologue, eloped with Elizabeth Barrett in a Marylebone romance worthy of a thriller and returned in triumph to Maida Vale and ultimately to Poets’ Corner. Lots of juicy Victorian detail, great lines, and the irresistible contrast of a life shaped in London and a final act written on the Grand Canal.

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On the second Wednesday in December, the Dickens Pickwick Club gathers at the ancient George & Vulture – an 18th-century warren of port, oak panels, and old City gossip – for its annual feast of camaraderie, Stilton, steak-and-kidney pie, and booming speeches. This year, my turn arrived: I had to deliver the Himself in the guise of Count Smorltork, Dickens’s “famous foreigner” and virtuoso mangler of the English tongue.What followed was a night of uncommon joviality, literary lineage, personal history, and a foreign Count’s triumphant but catastrophic attempt at English.

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A double dose of goodness for you this evening...

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This is a lively, fireside wander through the strange and splendid history of the mince pie. It begins in medieval kitchens where the pie was a hefty mix of meat, fruit and spice, travels through the Puritan years when it was frowned upon, and arrives in the present as the sweet little symbol of Christmas we know today. The piece explores how mince pies delight the British, baffle the Americans, and bewilder the French, especially now that Marks and Spencer has vanished from Paris. Warm, humorous and full of festive colour, it celebrates the mince pie as a tiny pastry with a very large story.

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Jack’s Christmas Lights Walk begins here for a reason. Villiers Street is the perfect overture: dense with history, glowing with stories, and sprinkled with festive firsts you won’t hear anywhere else. It's London in miniature: short, steep, and overflowing with stories. From dukes and Dickens to Kipling’s fog and railway thunder, this narrow chute between the Strand and the river is a backstage entrance to five centuries of drama. Let alone those Christmas Lights. And their stories.

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On 7 December 1941, as Japan struck Pearl Harbor, London was deep in its third winter of war: bruised, blacked out, queueing for scraps, shrugging off sirens. In this episode of London Calling we take the city’s pulse on that day. From wardens chastening Noël Coward to milk carts pulled by dogs, from Advent sermons to Fleet Street’s midnight shock, we watch London discover the attack that would change its fate. A fogbound capital learns, almost in its sleep, that it’s no longer alone.

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It’s a hotel, a pub, an art gallery, a very special rendezvous, a backstage pass to Westminster, a living scrapbook of political London, a motherlode of history, and a film set all rolled up into one.

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A birthday bash that’s yet another chapter in the Literary London Saga.

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On the anniversary of his death, a rollicking, street-level wander through the life of John Gay – author of The Beggar’s Opera and Trivia – who turned London’s rogues, highways, alleys, gossip, and grit into art that still sparkles nearly three centuries later.

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She was the woman who changed everything. Before her, the English stage was a men-only club – boys playing girls, audiences roaring for comedy but never expecting a real woman to step into the light. And then she did. This podcast tells the story of the first actress on the English stage: the mystery, the daring, the scandal, the thrill of that moment when a woman, for the first time, crossed the boards and the audience gasped. It's a wander through Restoration London – the playhouses, the backrooms, the theatrical cut-and-thrust. On the way we meet the colourful characters who made that world sparkle. The managers, the rakes, the playwrights, the divas-to-be.It’s a tale of courage, glamour, gossip and a little danger.The night a woman walked onstage, she didn’t just perform.She redefined the theatre.And, in her way, she redefined England.

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A vivid, anecdotal wander through the story of Birkbeck, London’s great evening college: born in the age of gaslight, dedicated to workers hungry for knowledge, and still humming with that after-hours magic today. The piece lifts the lid on the college that turned London’s night shift into a lecture theatre, celebrates the characters and breakthroughs it’s nurtured over two centuries, and shows why this unassuming Bloomsbury outpost is one of the capital’s quiet marvels.

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A festive flourish with extras. Nary a hint here about the extras – you'll have to listen to the piece. But the main course is a little appetiser from Ann, a trailer if you will for her upcoming series of Eating Christmas Walks. This tasty talk's mostly about turkeys and geese. It's Ann so you can expect warmth, wit, history, latest goings on. Basically a generous helping of Yuletide flavour – a perfect sprinkle of Christmas cheer for your day.

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A reflective, elegiac tribute to Tom Stoppard, marking his death at 88. The piece traces his journey from a childhood shaped by exile to his life as one of Britain’s most brilliant and beloved playwrights. It honours his delight in language, his dazzling intellect, his late-in-life reckoning with history, and the gentleness that infused his work. It’s a quiet, intimate meditation on a mind that illuminated the stage and a light now softly gone.

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On November 29th, 1814, in a cramped London workshop smelling of hot metal and wet ink, Friedrich Koenig and Andreas Bauer’s steam-driven printing press thundered into life – and the world quietly tipped into its modern age. The Times secretly ran its entire issue on this whirring mechanical wonder, doubling – no, quadrupling speed overnight. Londoners didn’t know it, but the very rhythms of their city – news, politics, scandal, the spread of ideas – had just been turned up a big notch. On the anniversary of that day London Calling tells the story of that breakthrough morning: clatter and clank, a hint of cloak-and-dagger secrecy, a dollop of London ingenuity, and the moment the printed word stepped onto the express train of history.

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Fade in. Church Row, Hampstead. Late Victorian London. A perfect Georgian house, all calm exteriors and candlelit windows. Inside, one of the most explosive figures of the age paces like a caged star. Bosie: aristocratic beauty, agent of chaos, lover and undoer of Oscar Wilde. This is the widescreen version. A story of forbidden passion, furious fathers, courtroom tragedy and a golden boy on the run from the chaos he helped create. Hampstead becomes a film set, and Bosie the dazzling, dangerous protagonist whose every move begs for a close-up.

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Step into London at its most dazzling. From designer hotel lobbies to elegant Georgian squares, from grand department stores to quiet, candle-scented churches, the city becomes a forest of firs, each one dressed to the nines in baubles, ribbons, and stories. This is the tale of how Christmas trees travelled from the hearth fires of Germany to the palaces of Hanoverian royals and finally into the hearts of Londoners. It’s a romp through centuries of tradition, invention, and good old festive showmanship. And when the history fades into the twinkle of modern lights, there’s Claire’s Christmas Tree Walk to carry it all forward. She leads you to the best of the best on December 4, 6, 11, 13, 18, and 20. Consider it London’s Christmas present to you: a guided wander through the city’s most glorious constellation of trees, each stop a story, each tree a little bit of magic.

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The year London got its Christmas back.

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On November 25th, 1952, Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap opened in a still-sooty, post-war London — and never stopped running. London Calling strolls down West Street to tell the tale of the world’s longest-running play: its famous first night, the legends behind the “Holman performances,” the stars who got their start, the stubborn little clock that’s ticked through seven decades, and why the curtain can never quite fall. A whodunnit that became a what-on-earth-keeps-it-going.

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Twice, on the same date 281 years apart, the River Thames froze solid – first in 1434, when London’s lifeline turned to stone, and again in 1715, when it became a carnival ground. From famine fears to frost fairs, this is the story of a city brought to a standstill by winter, and how Londoners turned disaster into revelry.

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A high-speed voyage through the life and legend of the Cutty Sark – the world’s last surviving tea clipper and one of London’s brightest maritime icons. From her birth in 1869 on the Clyde to her record-breaking races home from China, we follow her glory days, decline, and resurrection in Greenwich. Along the way, we meet the Scots poet who named her, the witch who inspired her figurehead, and the sailors who made her the fastest thing under canvas. A story of craftsmanship, competition, and sheer beauty – the ship that refused to fade into history.

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A turn through London as it was on 22 November 1963. Evening crowds spilling out of offices, Christmas lights warming up the West End, the city in its ordinary hum. Then the flash: the news from Dallas, arriving like a cold wind through pubs, Tube stations and shopfront radios. A portrait of London on the day it paused, listened and felt the shock of a distant tragedy ripple through its own streets.

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Advancer for the distinguished diplomat Lisa Honan's Upcoming Empire in a Cup – the History of Tea Walk. A lively, anecdote-soaked ramble through the surprising story of how a humble leaf conquered Britain. From locked tea caddies and clipper ships to wartime tea stockpiles and family feuds over the proper order of milk, this is the tale of a drink that shaped a nation. A warm, cinematic wander steeped in history, charm, and the sort of fun only tea can brew.

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On the evening of 20 November 1944, after five long years of wartime blackout, London turned on a few of its street lights again. Londoners stepped out to see it for themselves, faces tilted up to lamplight they had almost forgotten. It was only a handful of streets, a tentative first step in a city still at war. But the glow above the pavements felt like a promise that the worst might finally be behind them.

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"I’m looking out the window and what do you know, it’s snowing. Yes, snowing. In November! Ok, it's just a few flurries, but the white stuff it is..."

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A brisk, atmospheric wander through the day the Duke of Wellington’s funeral stopped London in its tracks. The piece sweeps the listener into the crush of half a million Londoners lining the streets, the clatter of the colossal funeral carriage, and the peculiar mix of awe and disorder that only a Victorian spectacle could summon. It’s a story of a nation saying goodbye to its greatest hero, but also a peek at the London of 1852: smoky, chaotic, sentimental, and gloriously itself.

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A lively, anecdotal wander through the London Borough of Islington – from its Saxon beginnings as Giseldone, “the hill of Gisla,” to its current status as London’s most eclectic, outspoken patch of ground. Once rural pastureland where Londoners came for milk and fresh air, Islington grew into a hotbed of politics, art, and attitude. The piece takes readers down Upper Street and along the Regent’s Canal, past Bunhill Fields and the Emirates Stadium, pausing to salute the borough’s famous sons and daughters – from John Wilkes to Johnny Rotten. It’s part history, part love letter, full of wit, colour, and contradiction, capturing a place that has always refused to sit quietly while London goes about its business.

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A lively, irreverent romp through the history of the codpiece – that flamboyant flap of cloth that began as a modesty patch and ended up as the Renaissance’s most outrageous brag. From its humble medieval origins to its glorious, padded, jewel-encrusted heyday under Henry VIII, the piece traces how the codpiece became both fashion and farce, weapon and wink. Stuffed with anecdotes, double entendres, and a dash of scandal, it explores how this unlikely garment strutted its way through art, politics, and amour before quietly retreating from the stage. A story of swagger, status, and sheer nerve – proof that in Tudor England, size really did matter.

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Just when you thought the Fortnum’s Christmas tale was complete, the shop quietly unveiled its most spectacular secret in centuries. Hidden for two years behind a cheerful Zebedee Helm collage, a brand-new Double Helix Staircase has now risen at the heart of 181 Piccadilly. Inspired by Leonardo da Vinci and hand-built by master craftspeople in Sussex, it is part architectural marvel, part swirling artwork, and entirely Fortnum’s. This unexpected addendum returns us to Piccadilly for a second helping, celebrating a staircase that is already becoming a landmark in its own right.

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This London Calling podcast opens with Fortnum & Mason glowing across Piccadilly like London’s Christmas signal flare. It introduces the store as the elegant grand duchess of Piccadilly, tracing its history from 1707 when William Fortnum and Hugh Mason turned candle stubs and ingenuity into a legendary shop. It goes on to sketch Fortnum’s reputation for refinement and playful luxury, from its royal associations to its famous hampers and teas. The Scotch egg origin story makes an appearance, along with a quick portrait of what makes the perfect one. The heart of the podcast is the store at Christmas, especially this year’s spectacular displays. The windows are described as miniature theatrical worlds with whirling teacups, musical tins and a giant hamper that seems to open itself. The façade becomes a glowing advent calendar, and inside you step into a swirl of scent, sparkle and festive indulgence. For good measure the listener gets a suggested two-hour Fortnum’s experience. First, slow, ceremonial browsing through the ground floor food hall and Christmas room. Then ascending for refined calm in the Diamond Jubilee Tea Salon for tea, cakes and a view over Piccadilly. Finally, a gentle wander back through the upper floors and out into the winter street. Podcast ends by declaring Fortnum & Mason the perfect opening chapter for a series on London’s great Christmas shops.

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Clapham begins as a riverside outpost on the Archbishop’s side of the Thames, a little upstream from the City’s bustle. Its story kicks off with the memorable wedding feast of Osgod Clapa’s daughter, a moment of Anglo-Saxon high life set against reed thatch, woodsmoke and river mud. From there, the place grows by accretion and accident: manor lands, market gardens, pious foundations, and in time a Georgian dreamworld of airy squares where the great and the good came to polish their consciences. The Clapham Sect take the stage, plotting abolition and reform over prayer meetings and polite tea. Then comes the nineteenth century, the railways, the villas, the commuters, the whole swirling transformation of London pushing south. By the time we reach the present day, Clapham is a patchwork of leafy commons, handsome terraces, lively high streets and echoes of the visionaries who once made it a moral powerhouse.

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We begin on High Street Kensington, where two grand department stores – Barkers and Derry & Toms – stand as gleaming monuments to the Art Deco age. From there, it’s off on a journey through one of the most elegant design revolutions of the twentieth century. Art Deco: what it is, where it came from, what to look for. The clean lines, the geometry, the glamour – a “return to order” after the chaos of the Great War. Paris leads the dance, London joins in, and the world never looks quite the same again. There’s a stop in Paris for a feast of Deco at the Louvre – and a little feast of another kind at Le Hangar, my favourite Paris restaurant – before we return home with news of new London Walks, new guides, and Christmas just beginning to sparkle

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There's a lot to be said for a journey into the real Dickens’ London – not the sanitised, stage-managed version you find in theme parks or TV reconstructions, but the city itself. The stones, the mist, the narrow courts where the man himself walked. It’s about how much of Dickens’ world is still here, hidden in plain sight – if you know where to look. The alleys that inspired him, the workhouses that haunted him, the law courts that fed his satire. We separate myth from memory and see how London shaped Dickens, and how Dickens, in turn, helped shape London’s image of itself.

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It’s London, 1697 – the city bawling, bustling, brawling its way into the 18th century – and out of Smithfield mud and mischief comes William Hogarth, the man who drew London naked. This episode of London Calling follows the boy from Bartholomew Close who grew up to be the city’s mirror, moralist, and mischief-maker. From A Harlot’s Progress to Gin Lane, Hogarth painted a London of drunks, dreamers, rakes, and rogues – and in doing so, invented the modern comic strip, fought for artists’ rights, and showed us ourselves, warts and all. It’s the story of London’s first true visual journalist: sharp-eyed, streetwise, full of bite and wit. The man who proved a picture really can be worth a thousand sins.

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Ann’s at it again – prowling through London’s backstreets, history purring at her heels. Her walk, A Cat Tails – A Feline Take on London History, is just what the city ordered: playful, surprising, and full of sharp little claws of insight. Expect stories of moggies and monarchs, ship’s cats and literary felines, from alleyways to palaces. She’ll be teasing out London’s long, tangled relationship with the creatures who’ve ruled our hearths – and sometimes our hearts – for centuries. This is the advancer: a sneak peek before the cat’s out of the bag.

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It’s November 8th, 1674. The rain drifts softly over London as the light fades early and a blind old poet slips away in Bunhill Fields. This London Calling podcast follows John Milton – born in Bread Street, schooled under St Paul’s, hunted near St Bartholomew-the-Great, dictating Paradise Lost in Petty France – through the London of his life and death. We meet “the Lady of Christ’s,” the young scholar who became the thunderous voice of English verse; the blind visionary who saw eternity more clearly than most. From the alleys of the City to the stained-glass glow of the Milton Window in St Margaret’s, Westminster, it’s a portrait of the Londoner who gave the world its most magnificent lines.

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On Helen Suzman’s birthday, David takes us from apartheid-era South Africa to Hampstead’s Vale of Health – to the very house where Suzman’s actress niece Janet Suzman lived with director Trevor Nunn. It’s a story of courage, art, and a family of difference-makers who refused to take the easy script.

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Meet the saint who looked after London’s grafters – from blacksmiths to Shakespeare’s mates.

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From Saxon arches to Wren’s soaring spire, from the rebel hanged at its doors to the golden dragon that’s ruled the skyline for three centuries, St Mary-le-Bow has witnessed a thousand years of London life. Its bells gave birth to the Cockneys, its court judged the clergy, and its crypt hides a mystery stretching all the way to Wall Street. Fire, faith, riots and rebirth – this is the story of the church that quite literally defines London.

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London Calling gets ambushed by events – from Dick Cheney’s death to a hawk called Breeze patrolling Lincoln’s Inn. A day of coincidences, literary echoes and London surprises, wrapped up with Francis Beaumont’s poem On the Tombs in Westminster Abbey. Proof, if ever you needed it, that London never stops writing the script.

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From couvre feu to Cockney – how St Mary-le-Bow’s bells became the sound that shaped London’s identity. Once they told Londoners to bank their fires; centuries later, they told Dick Whittington to turn again. These were the curfew bells, the comeback bells, the heartbeat of a city that never stops ringing.

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Ann's Foodies London – The West End walk is coming up By way of an appetiser, she's whipped a little dish of culinary history (and nostalgia) for us. About Lyons' ice creams (this is their centenary, after all). And make not mistake, Lyons’ ice creams were more than desserts – they were time capsules. From the Zoom rocket to the Fab lolly, each one tells a tale of pop culture, post-war hope, and good old British fun in the sun.

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Every November, London flares with fireworks and half-forgotten history. London Walks Capo David traces the story behind the rhyme – Guy Fawkes, the Gunpowder Plot, and the strange endurance of a failed revolution. From the haunted cellars beneath Parliament to the Tower’s shadowed ramparts, the ghosts of 1605 still stir. The gunpowder never exploded, but its charge is still humming under London’s stones.

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What is it about October 31st?This piece roams from Luther’s hammer on a church door to the end of the Battle of Britain, from Houdini’s final curtain to the Celtic bonfires of Samhain. It traces how Halloween began as an ancient threshold between worlds and became the world’s biggest fancy-dress party. Along the way we glimpse Mexican marigolds, Austrian bread for ghosts, Japanese lanterns, and a universal truth: that once a year, humans everywhere like to dance with the dark and laugh at their fears.It’s funny, atmospheric, and full of surprises – a story of thresholds, history, and a date that refuses to stay quiet.

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Two parter today. Forget the fake cobwebs and the pumpkin punch – this is the real Halloween experience: history, mystery, and magic in the world’s greatest treasure house. Guided by Marc – host of the award-nominated Extraordinary Stories of Britain podcast – you’ll explore the British Museum after dark, when the crowds are gone and the marble whispers. From the Rosetta Stone to the Elgin Marbles, five thousand years of civilisation glow under the glass dome of the Great Court. Spine-tingling, civilised, unforgettable – it’s Halloween the London Walks way.Followed by: Tucked behind Victoria Gate Lodge lies one of London’s tiniest and most tender secrets – the Hyde Park Pet Cemetery. Born of a little girl’s grief in 1881, it grew into a miniature city of marble headstones for beloved dogs, cats, parrots and rabbits. It’s the Victorians at their most human – sentimental, heartfelt, and quietly profound. Join us among the mossy stones and whispering trees for a story of love, loss, and loyalty – a forgotten corner of London where even the ghosts have wagging tails.

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Slip off Oxford Street and into another world – chandeliers, Rembrandts, and the best cakes in Marylebone. Housed in a stately mansion on Manchester Square, the Wallace Collection is London’s most beautiful secret: an 18th-century treasure chest of art, armour, and elegance. A museum that still feels like a home – and, thanks to Rick Mather’s sunlit café, the sweetest spot in the city for tea.

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He gleams through the London fog – a man made of gold. The Albert Memorial isn’t just a monument; it’s a love story cast in marble and gold leaf. This episode of London Calling tells the tale of Queen Victoria and her beloved Albert – the earnest, intelligent prince who believed civilisation could be improved by plumbing and hard work – and how his death broke her heart so completely she built a temple to him in Kensington Gardens. It’s absurd, magnificent, and completely sincere: London’s grandest love letter.

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They’ve already got the money, the houses, the jets – so why the fever when the bidding starts? Why the thrill of the gavel? In this Daily London Fix, we step inside Sotheby’s, where wealth turns to theatre and possession becomes performance. From a Strand bookseller’s auction in 1744 to today’s multimillion-pound spectacles, it’s part ritual, part sport, part confession. And – grace notes before the curtain falls – we discover why it’s called Sotheby’s, and why the man bringing down the hammer is, delightfully, named Barker.

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The world’s most famous auction house was born on a quiet London street. From polite Georgian book sales to multi-million-pound bidding wars, Sotheby’s has mirrored the city’s rise from mercantile capital to cultural powerhouse.

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October 25th — St Crispin’s Day. On this date in 1400, Geoffrey Chaucer, London’s first great poet, breathed his last. Fifteen years later, on another St Crispin’s Day, Henry V’s tiny army triumphed at Agincourt. Two centuries after that, Shakespeare turned that muddy field into legend with “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers...” This episode of London Calling links those moments – Chaucer’s passing and his London voice, Shakespeare’s stage thunder, and the date that binds them. A tale of bells, battles, and words: how the vintner’s son and the glover’s son together made English – London English – the language of poetry and power.

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United Nations Day, a Westminster hall… and a secret Roman flogging and beheading kit. Only in London.

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Tapas time on today’s London fix – a double act. We begin in Smithfield with the redoubtable Jonathan, guiding us through London’s old killing ground, where the condemned met gruesome ends. Then David takes up the thread – from the execution ground to the digital gallows. The former Duke of York has been “unduked”; online the dead are “unalived”; the countryside is “UnLondon.” Welcome to the Age of Un – a wry look at our binary, reversible century, where everything can be done, undone, and done again.

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Three “newly discovered” chapters of 1066 and All That – on the railways, the internet, and the French – lead to the story of W. C. Sellar, the quiet Scottish schoolmaster who co-wrote one of the funniest books in the English language. From a Gladstone joke in Brent to a trail that runs all the way to Edinburgh, it’s a very London tale of humour, history, and happy accidents.

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Brent – the Borough with the oldest name and the youngest spirit. Named for the ancient River Brent – a Celtic word meaning “holy” or “high” – this is a borough where history hums beneath the pavements. From the roar of Wembley to the quiet grace of St Andrew’s Church, from the marble splendour of the Neasden Temple to the laughter spilling out of Kilburn’s Irish pubs, Brent is London in miniature: diverse, layered, endlessly alive. It’s where A. A. Milne met Winnie-the-Pooh, where Gladstone debated the Irish Question, where the Golden Retriever was born, and where the world still comes to play. Short name, long story, big heart.

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London runs on rails – and we've got a new tour that explores London's railway stations. Distinguished railway historian Christian Wolmar and elite London guide Sam Jacobs take us on an all-day journey through the city’s iron arteries: from Shoreditch to Paddington, from Victorian grandeur to modern revival. Part history, part adventure, it’s London seen through its railway termini – the people, the power, the ambition, and the steam that made the city move.

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Story time, history time – and this one’s about the storytellers themselves. In this episode of Londerful, London Walks introduces Jonathan, the so-called “new boy” who’s been guiding for four years and already won hearts. Warm, witty, and passionate, he’s the kind of guide who turns facts into discoveries.

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At the Savoy Hotel, superstition and style sit side by side – and the proof’s in the cat. Meet Kaspar, the sleek black feline carved to save diners from the curse of thirteen at table. Born of tragedy in 1898 and still dining in style more than a century later, Kaspar has shared a table with Churchill, survived a wartime kidnapping, and become the Savoy’s most charming guest. This is London at its best: polished, peculiar, and purring with stories.

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Seventh-century saint meets secret London. This episode follows St Etheldreda – or St Audrey – from her royal beginnings in the Fens of Ely to her hidden London church in Ely Place, Holborn. We explore the legend of her incorrupt body, the feast that became tawdry, and the medieval enclave that once stood beyond the City’s law. Shakespeare’s bishops, bombings, beadles, and even a relic of her hand all make an appearance in this vivid talk through holiness, history, and hidden London.

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One night. One storm. Winds near a hundred miles an hour. London wrecked, trees flattened, Britain humbled. The Great Storm of ’87 – the night we all remember.

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Camden’s not just a postcode – it’s a state of mind. From the quiet grace of Bloomsbury’s squares to the glorious bedlam of Camden Market; from the high wildness of Hampstead Heath to the learned hush of Museum Mile – this is the borough that can keep you busy for a lifetime. In this episode, we go exploring: parks, markets, music, museums, canals, cafés, and everything in between.

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From the barristers of Holborn to the buskers of Camden Lock and the poets of Hampstead, this episode climbs right through London’s social landscape. Along the way we meet the borough that built better homes for its people, raised its rates for beauty’s sake, and made “progressive” a point of civic pride. Radical politics, visionary housing, the ghosts of railways and revolution – Camden’s story is London’s story, all packed into eight and a half square miles.

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In the inaugural Get to Know Your London episode, we land in Camden – and David takes us on a visual decoding of the borough’s logo. You’ve seen it a hundred times on street signs – that little green circular symbol above the word Camden. Most people assume it’s a recycling logo. It isn’t. Look closer. It’s actually four pairs of hands, thumbs almost touching, arranged in a circle. They’re meant to symbolise connection – the borough and its community linked hand in hand. The official line says they stand for unity, giving, receiving, and voting. But of course, there’s the droll, alternative reading – that it looks like a green elephant’s foot. Or perhaps the footprint of the Abominable Snowman. A bit of wry humour tagged onto a municipal design – classic London.

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A Sunday snapshot of London in 1975 – Harold Wilson in Downing Street, inflation roaring, Bowie on the airwaves, and a bomb that failed to explode in Westminster. From the smell of petrol and vinegar on the streets to Routemasters, Reliant Robins, and 25p fish-and-chips, this is the city as it really was: battered, brave, and brilliantly alive.

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In this episode, Dr Ann Gandhi introduces us to Mahatma Gandhi as we’ve never met him before – in Tavistock Square, in words that bring him vividly to life. David steps in with his reflections, Adam stirs things up with a seasonal tipple, and together they serve a heady mix of history, humanity, and the best eggnog recipe in London.

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Today’s London Calling is a double treat. First up, Adam tears into the London Calling Book Club Corner with a book so gripping you’ll be ordering it before he’s finished talking. Then Dr Ann takes the baton for a taster from her brand-new walk, Nooks & Crannies – Unseen Covent Garden. Books, ghosts, hidden corners – London doesn’t get better than this.

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Dr Ann's What's the Big Idea Walk takes you through Bloomsbury's squares – the cradle of modern thought. Where ideas were born, challenged, took shape, and still reverberate. A walk as stimulating as the minds that inspired it.

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An October evening City of London excursion that begins at the 17th-century Monument and winds through Philpot Lane (where it takes in London's tiniest sculptures) and then on to Leadenhall Market’s Victorian splendour before arriving at the modern marvel of the Leadenhall Building – the “Cheesegrater.” The piece tells the story of the building’s design, nickname, height, and views, blending history and anecdote with the experience of going up to its soaring upper floors. It’s a love-letter to London’s layers – from Wren’s column to Rogers’ skyscraper – all encountered in one golden City evening.

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A lively, anecdotal wander through the creamy world of stucco — the material that gave London’s grand western terraces their smooth Italianate glamour. From its humble mix of lime and sand to its starring role in John Nash’s Regent’s Park and Little Venice, this is the story of how plaster and paint pulled off one of the greatest visual conjuring tricks in urban history: turning brick into marble, speculation into splendour, and Paddington into “Venice.”

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Gazumped. London Calling's on the case. Sniffs out one of the great London words – gazump! From its East End Yiddish roots to its 1970s rebirth in the city’s cut-throat property market, this is the story of how a market-stall cry for “don’t get swindled!” became the headline-grabbing curse of London homebuyers.It’s a word that sounds like what it means – half comedy, half cruelty – and it could only have been born in London. Pointer David’s on the scent again, and he’s tracked down a linguistic gem that’s equal parts etymology, history, and sheer London mischief.

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London told through the creatures that know it best: the rat in the tunnel and the dog on the lead. From the sewers to the parks, from Herbert’s scuttling hordes to Ann’s faithful pack, this is the secret animal history of the capital – cheeky, vivid, and unmistakably alive.

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When Alison leads her Old Palace Quarter Walk into Pickering Place – that exquisite little centuries-old courtyard off St James’s Street – a sharp-eyed walker spots a mysterious oval plaque numbered 8100. What is it? Not a relic, not a door number, but a clue to one of London’s best-kept secrets: the city’s living network of gas lamps.

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October 1956: the Bolshoi Ballet lands in London with 80 tons of scenery, KGB minders in tow, and a troupe led by Galina Ulanova and Maya Plisetskaya. Covent Garden reels at their scale and power – 45 minutes of applause, queues in the rain, a stage too small for their vast sets. Meanwhile, across Europe, the Hungarian Uprising explodes. Ballet, politics, glamour, tanks — three weeks that shook London and rewrote the story of British ballet.

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October 2nd, 1925: four covered-top double-deckers debut on the Elephant to Epping route, drawing queues of curious Londoners. A century later, their descendants — 8,800 buses, 6,000 of them double-deckers — knit the capital together with 5 million journeys a day and 300 million miles a year. From four pioneers at the Elephant to a red fleet that could lap the Earth 12,000 times or reach the Sun in four months — London’s buses aren’t just transport. They’re a solar-system-sized lifeline, a cosmic commute.

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On section 13 you get the best view in London from here on earth...it's unrivalled, it's very high, it's an amazing view

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September 30 twice marked history. In 1938, Chamberlain promised “peace for our time.” Eight years later, in 1946, the Nuremberg judges delivered guilty verdicts on Nazi leaders. Hope and reckoning – two dates, one day, history’s cruel symmetry.

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An exploration of what “Georgian” really means — the look, the feel, and the deeper story behind London’s calm, symmetrical 18th-century architecture.

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Michaelmas Eve – when the year tips into the dark. The last geese sizzle, the last debts get squared, and the devil, they say, is out spitting on the blackberries. It’s a night for charms, for peering into bowls of water to see who you’ll marry – or if you’ll die – and for hoping St. Michael, sword flashing, is on duty. Because after tonight, the dark takes over.

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Dan’s taking London’s Spymasters out for a spin this afternoon – so we couldn’t resist giving you a sneak preview. Picture him in Horse Guards Parade, spinning the yarn of Operation Mincemeat, weaving in the James Bond connection, and – just for good measure – putting us tantalisingly close to unmasking the real 007.Pull up a chair, lean in. Here’s Dan.

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A night of fire. A very grand historic old house in ruins. And an image that came to define the Blitz

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September 25, 1818 – the day London made medical history. Guy’s Hospital. A patient is bleeding out. London surgeon James Blundell rolls the dice on an untested idea: take blood from one person, inject it into another. No blood typing, no antiseptic, just urgency, ingenuity, and a syringe. Against the odds, the patient lives. We’ll meet Dr. Blundell, part mad-scientist, part visionary, who turned a desperate gamble into the first successful human-to-human blood transfusion. It’s a story of risk, luck, science, and the moment London learned life could be borrowed.

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The wind howls, the candles gutter… London, 1717: a child is born beneath a sky that seems to know it’s witnessing trouble. He will grow up to conjure castles full of ghosts, corridors thick with secrets, and gossip sharp enough to draw blood.

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On a hushed September morning in 1939, as war loomed over London, Sigmund Freud drew his last breath in Hampstead. This is the story of that extraordinary passing.

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Right, gather round — this one’s a bit of a lucky dip. Here’s what’s rattling about in the bag:📚 A cracking book recommendation from one of our celebrity guides — proper page-turner stuff.🚶 A London Walk so good it’s gone — yep, Sold Out (but all is not lost).🍜 A delicious little amuse-bouche from a Chef’s Tour in Kuala Lumpur — have a sniff, have a taste.🇮🇹 An Italian guest’s rave review — bellissimo!🌊 And to top it off, a message in a bottle — chucked into the sea and washing up here, on your earbuds.It’s a short one, a tasty one, perfect for holiday listening. Go on, have a listen — see what you fish out.

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it’s London with its heart on its sleeve...

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Put a candle in the window...

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. Top of the morning to you London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s Friday, September 19th,  2025. Our warm up act, as always, the London Calling Book Club Corner. In the Chair today, London Walks’ Knight errant, Richard […]

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the square is to London what canals are to Venice

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The gas lamps throwing halos

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London doesn’t just import, it cross-pollinates.

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he's a leading authority on espionage

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'oldest pub in England'

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Eurostar is basically a moving living room.

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Maximum history, minimum hassle.

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Hyde Park – London’s open-air parliament.

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Hooked, deadly, ready to rip

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The Thames Police, like it or not, became London’s undertakers.

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. A very good day to you London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s Monday, September 8th,  2025. London Calling Book Club Corner first. Recovering lawyer Tom Hooper’s second day in the Chair. If this were Ascot Tom would […]

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What it was about this hugely different cup of tea – The Ultimate London Walk – that caught their eye

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That's the curtain raiser. Now, shall we walk?

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"there are more things in London than are dreamt of in your philosophy Horatio"

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High Barnet is the trumpet call.

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This is border country – London nudging into Hertfordshire

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Postcodes are the city in miniature: eccentric, irregular, a little chaotic — but if you know how to read them, they reveal patterns, layers, history.

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the canal itself is London's secret artery

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It's walking through the world's memory palace

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The city is the show

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It's a London no one's ever seen

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the manifold, magnificent, mind-bending, maddening mysteries of London postcodes

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When Mary's happy Mary dances

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"he was the subject of the world's first international manhunt"

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Here's a hot London tip

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"it took me a year to get an interview with astronaut Neil Armstrong"

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Good news for Eliza and Mrs Higgins, the cats who live in St Paul's Covent Garden

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One of the most important bits of London you never knew about

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Out of fire, a festival

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London invented smog; the London Plane invented the cure.

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London's Memory Bank (In Blue)

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Which is why it's called 'the Westminster Abbey of the City'

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the corpse said he felt a lot better and would skip his funeral, said he was off to the wine shop

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He kept a tent pitched in the back garden of his Kensington house

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"I used to be Commodore of Greenwich Yacht Club"

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Rebellion is spreading, like spilled ink across a map

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"one woman...all the time in the world"

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"It’s only Adam and Eve, you know!”

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"runs in blood down palace walls"

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so many essences of London

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"Mary Poppins, her umbrella was a Brigg"

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the fighting sailor who invented the Sea Story

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Where's this killer statue?

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good manners go a long way in London

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He was known in RAF circles as Butcher Harris

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where the stories bloom

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Men walking in giant wooden treadwheels, like human hamsters...

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She was cremated on a beach in Bali

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"There's anti-German feeling. But no violence"

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a kaleidoscope of colour

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“they told us to look out for bones, we should expect to find a lot of them. And we have.”

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. A very good evening to you London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s Wednesday, July 30th, 2025. All work and no play makes David a dull dude. That’ll never do. So let’s have a bit of play. But […]

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. Top of the morning to you London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s Tuesday, July 29th, 2025. And here’s the spin of the roulette wheel. Where’s the ball – aka the pill – coming to stop? Ah, there […]

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"the past is a foreign country"

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"thou art an everlasting bonfire light"

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"She's our greening expert"

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"traditional Polish fare...the dumplings are my favourite"

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egg and bacon

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A touch of Camelot in Cadogan Square

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"walkways and pathways along rivers and brooks"

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"I was moved to tears"

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Not just an Admiral – a Force 9 Gale in a uniform

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It became sacred

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"the differences between the U.S. and the U.K."

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"London is a riddle, Paris is an explanation"

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Slava Ukraini!

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"catch the hum of history"

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But she’s also eternally young and in London, just over the way from Royal Opera House where she was a royal ballerina.

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the past is a lighthouse, not a port

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"he was paralytically drunk"

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"the notorious bankrupt and womaniser who was tried for treason"

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"it's every bit as bewitching as the Bridge of Sighs itself"

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the first-ever Wimbledon champion was also the father of the volley.

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"then we see it, the most terrifying sight we'll ever see"

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“the tramcar was very nicely arranged with chairs and pink cushions"

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"doing one-hand handstands"

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"looking at a portrait transcends time"

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General Howe had no choice but to put the torch to New York City

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Wars don't end when they end

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The world has raised its whip. Where will it descend?

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Married in July with flowers ablaze

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100 years ago nobody was doing a better job of telling the London story

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"She was popularly known as 'Lady Randy'"

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The Monument is a 17th century skyscraper

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"in fact colour were vibrant in the late Victorian age"

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"they fought the dogs and killed the cats"

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"How did three titled dunderheads get to be in charge of an army?"

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"I started guiding before I finished lawyering"

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"you could make yourself invisible"

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"there's always a bit of wistfulness. Laurie misses London"

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"the most interesting street in London"

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think of each one of those 800,000 words as the life of a young soldier or officer

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"look, there’s the football coach in the chair getting a buzz cut for his palms"

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"You have to wash your mouth out with carbolic"

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he blacked out when he ejaculated

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The walk explores the London of 1923

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bye bye influencers, hello Goths

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"we had images of glaring demons with horns sprouting from their heads"

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"those wounds are nicks in a living oak"

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“There is only one recipe – to care a great deal for the cookery.”

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Item: two human skulls in a bag. Item: a jar of bull’s sperm

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it gets a big dodgy here. Juno wasn’t just Jupiter’s wife. She was also his sister.

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"a hero was one who urinated standing up"

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Every cat owner secretly knows if it were big enough their treasured companion would have them for lunch

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both were kneeling beside the bed and were naked

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Hairs less in sight, or any hairs but these!

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“The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see”

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The James Bond novels were among President Kennedy's favourites

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the May Pole – the phallic symbol par excellence.

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he was a bottom pincher par excellence

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the word focus comes from the Latin word for hearth

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"why he's not a 'little lettuce'"

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an easy horse, some good old authors, ingenious and cheerful Companions

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"the prayers soak into the fabric of the church"

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"America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it was always hushed up"

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"she lives and breathes her establishment"

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"I put a spell on you"

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"Holy Moses...this concealed London treasure"

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"the sun is God"

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"timed to perfection"

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This Sunday’s Chiswick Walk is an embarrassment of riches.

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"there was a lot of daisy bumping"

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Colourful names. And brightly coloured buses.

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"he tried to teach his pet poodle how to read"

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"that thought is explicable splendour"

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"Margaux is our – London Walks' – miracle."

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"when served to Churchill he pushed it away and asked for beef"

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— Top of the morning to you, London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s May 1st, 2025. We’re going to do a death today. An exodus that took place 325 years ago. May 1st, 1700. But not just […]

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"El Gato moved on to the great litter tray in the sky"

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"Be the first – in the billions of journeys across the capital no-one has ever done this one"

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"that's cosmic harmony"

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"I found the smoking gun"

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"It's Rodgers & Hammerstein having a second chance"

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"they got him through his DNA" Really?

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It stopped me in my tracks then and it’s haunted me ever since.

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"London has a bigger historical footprint than any other city in the world"

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“We’re not ready to be Banksy’d. Not yet.”

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"a normal building is moving all the time"

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from Rochester heaven to London hell – overnight

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Every time I go by there the thought crosses my mind, do the people who live here know the history of this place?

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"Charles was the Inspector of Nuisances"

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"a place name that derives from the Saxon word for cattle stream"

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"the system of Dutch finance ended in the degradation of a miserable and burdened population"

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And speaking of raw English fundamentals

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"half naked striding up the steps of the palace"

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Apocalypse Meow

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Thirteen of the 31 condemned to die were found guilty of burglary.

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"sentenced him to 20 strokes with the cat-o-nine tails"

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London Walks guide Robert is entitled to be hanged by a silken rope

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"the people have been duped"

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"the greatest unhanged scoundrel in modern British history"

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"she's really good at the Shanghai grip"

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"the Ripper victims became that prey"

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"we have heard the chimes"

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"everything was coming up roses for the Eros Flower Girls"

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"the Romans gave an orgy and nobody came"

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the names of the two poshest neighbourhoods in London come from a leprosy asylum

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"take care of the machines, never mind your fingers"

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Hampstead was a hotbed of Soviet Spies

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"replacing the skull with a cat – Result: Success!"

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"something's out of whack"

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C is for charasmatic, committed, and courteous guides...

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a biting insect or tick, that transmits a pathogen, disease or parasite from an infected animal to a human

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"the most difficult crime to track is the one that is purposeless" Sherlock Holmes

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"you'll be sitting in a place that's held a royal bottom"

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"Savage, isn’t it. Imagine being on the receiving end of that"

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"Henry Jermyn, 341 years ago today, is surmising the Horses’ heads are toward Eternity"

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"little care became no care when his father was flung into prison"

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— And a very good afternoon to you, London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s Tuesday, December 31st, 2024. Yes, New Year’s Eve. Ok, having gone AWOL for a couple of weeks London Calling – the London Walks […]

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"I was in the Rocky Horror Show for three years"

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"Anything that is written that sheds light on how society regards any crime against women focuses my attention"

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“what struck me forcibly as showing the extraordinary unselfishness of the man was the poor quality of the pictures on the walls of his own home"

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"being a pirate involved..."

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Henry VIII was the first recorded King to eat turkey

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Coincidences don't get much more weird than this one

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Four U-boats in London

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"and the blood was still flowing"

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"it's like the semiotics of the City"

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"he was both a brute and a victimised refugee"

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"money is a new form of slavery"

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"many fire brigades now carry pet oxygen masks"

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thou shalt not omit adultery

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Jimi Hendrix introduced parakeets to London

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the Queen was more sprightly

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"that young man is no gentleman"

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"I live and breathe London – it's my lifeblood"

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"a morsel of Lamb, a sprig of Shakespeare, a close reading of London from the land of Cleopatra"

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"I could have towed Pablo behind the ship – that would have made my day"

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"London is the principal lens through which I view the world"

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"it was like receiving it at the hands of Helen of Troy"

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"I'll live longer because of London Walks"

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— Good morning, London Walkers. Wherever you are. It’s Monday, November 4th, 2024. Let’s get the week underway by letting you in on a London secret. Every clock in London is a cuckoo clock. The cuckoo is […]

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DNA testing is science at its purest

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"they're the sort of doctor you want in an emergency"

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the overwhelming power of American culture

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"Our aim is to make people happy"

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"there's a gatehouse there today"

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He’s going to look death in the eye

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"When I came to London it was like I'd arrived in Paradise"

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“The modern game of football was born on this day”

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"All we are saying is give war a chance"

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called the prosecuting counsel ‘a fat slob’.

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To be or not to be...in London. That is the question.

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The night climbers – whacky students who do insane things

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"he painted clues into some of his pictures"

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Sunday Times title: The Home Office high-flyer cultivated by Soviet Spies

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You see a whole lot more London if you hear it

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"When I was there it was people like Bill Oddie and John Cleese"

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"they wouldn't be here today if the lion had fancied a snack"

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Queen Elizabeth II's favourite novelist

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"for tuppence they would sleep by hanging over a rope"

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A walking tour is like a coral reef

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The august American travel magazine Travel & Leisure crowned her 'the world's greatest guide'

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"Larry, the 10 Downing Street cat was insulted by the new Scottish Secretary of State"

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“when you start dealing with the Russians all hell breaks loose.”

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"from peak dinosaur time to using high pressure water jets to cut stone"

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Dark breaks to dawn

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his head was put in a red velvet bag and given to his wife

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"I’m Knight President of the Knights of the Round Table"

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"the answers are blowin' in the wind"

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"then I beheld a sight I shall never forget”

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"There's been a news blackout on the Prime Minister cat situation"

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"it's this hive of music making"

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"He’d regularly back as many as 20 horses in a race for a big handicap and still miss the winner."

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"Look at that apple tree, can you see what's unusual about it"

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"Death can be reversed"

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She became an instant non-person

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"they were lovers"

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"attending a Zoom business meeting while punting on the Cam"

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"Queen Elizabeth II had Jewish ancestry?"

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So you didn’t want lepers in your midst

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"colours represent a joyful surprise"

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"from out our bourne of time and place"

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It’s really more Los Angeles or Manhattan than London.

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"All the Blue Badge guides now want to work for London Walks"

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"pink quartz is good for love"

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— And, from London a very good morning to you, wherever you are. It’s August 20th, 2024. Today’s pin…I have to ‘fess up. I missed one. This past week, August 12th to August 18th was Afternoon Tea […]

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"it's a little bit Indiana Jones"

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the three plagues of a man's life – doctors, cooks and gunsmiths

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‘Paris is an explanation, London is a riddle.’

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it starts with a 17th century skyscraper

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. And from London – a very good evening to you. It’s August 15th, 2024. Today’s pin, this one’s a feel-good. Beavers have been beavering away. It’s a British beaver baby boom. The beaver is making a comeback […]

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. Top of the morning to you. From London. It’s August 14th, 2024. Today’s pin, Banksy’s on a London roll. A street art extravaganza. A graffiti spree. Nine animal artworks a-leaping in nine days in the capital. This […]

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He was killed and resurrected three times before being finally beheaded

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the more things change the more they stay the same

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"swarms of knaves who are constantly on the look out for the unwary"

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I show them a 1960 plan of the private residences at Kensington Palace

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. And a top of the morning to you. From London. It’s August 9th, 2024. Today’s pin – Infinite accumulation, that’s not a bad descriptor for what London’s all about, be it the generating and amassing of pounds, […]

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"the tour was a fabulous experience"

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Niamh...the brainy Princess

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"the lovely stretch of the Thames just beyond Hammersmith bridge"

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"For other ruffians would shark on you"

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The Great Famine in Ireland in 1845 was the greatest loss of life anywhere in Europe since the Black Death

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"the lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime"

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the most wretched, god-awful entrance in the annals of the British crown

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"how hard is it to train a cat to act, to do what you want it to not what it wants to do"

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"the beloved, eccentric Kensington auntie who slew a Chinese dragon"

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Memories, they make us rich

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he's a dying man

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"she died on July 28th, 1945"

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"Let's not make them bit part players – expendable pawns – barely glimpsed through the red mist of that psychopath"

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once you spot them, well, they’re dense with meaning

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"a Megalosaurus waddling like an elephantine lizard up Holborn Hill"

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Mad about the boy

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"they're the Sequoias of London"

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Small is beautiful...

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"There is no evidence that he regarded himself as a standard bearer of the Trans-Cats Movement"

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"I was beaten upon the head with an Elephant’s dry’d pizzle”

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The French lancers caught up with them, ran them through, speared them

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"the London Walks equivalent of airlines' no-fly list"

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"Does a gun license entitle the holder to shoot burglars?"

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"no work which can bear comparison with St Paul’s"

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Wellington’s massive 12-ton funeral chariot was like a moving temple...

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— Good morning, London. It’s June 25th, 2024. Today’s pin – today’s London news – Summer has arrived. It was hot yesterday. It’s going to be hot today. 27 degrees. That’s low 80s Farhenheit. Feels, well, Mediterranean. […]

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a whiff of the fever-dream of the elite

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The numbers are the runes. And they’re easy to read.

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"how long were the death throes"

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"he was the curse and pest of Europe"

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Europe invaded England on Guy Fawkes Day in 1688.

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"Every Walworth person had the right to keep two cows or one horse on the commons land"

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"it's one of those things you have to do before you die – it's exquisite"

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it's Trafalgar Square's flagship building...

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"tolerated as rodent operatives"

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You’re just an American. You’re not a toff. Or a “stain”

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"we spend those two hours almost entirely in some of the best bits of the past"

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"we had the daughter of a spy, the granddaughter of a man who hired a spy, and an expert on Orwell"

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"Far from the madding crowd..."

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"Adam is to London guiding what Michael Jordan was to basketball"

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"Bracketing...walk your artillery fire in on your target"

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"being beheaded was flying first class"

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"those two are pickpockets – we all know them"

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"the expense of spirit in a waste of shame is Brexit in action"

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where the £12 million photograph was taken

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A bear, Nubian women, a 1930s aeroplane

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"it's just one notch down from a knighthood"

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"a defining moment in 20th century London history"

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Meet Pebbles, the campus cat

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he decided to get out of the army, get a job as a saint

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"twenty centuries of stony sleep vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle"

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— Good morning, London. And points beyond, far-flung, near flung, it doesn’t matter, you’re listening to this you’re answering the call of London. You’re one of us. Welcome aboard. Now for anyone stopping by for the first […]

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"the most memorable Good Friday of my entire life"

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"gossipy, foodie social history"

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the war cry of the American war of independence

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“I got nasty habits, I take tea at three” Mick Jagger

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"he's eternally looking down at the spot where his head was lopped off"

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"these are not Americans with cute accents"

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"they sold over 1,000 bodies in 12 years"

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"Abraham Lincoln dying of diarrhoea"

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. This is London Walks. Streets ahead. Story time. History time. ————————————— Brevity is the soul of it today, February 29th, 2024. The pin for the day – the news story that gets the show on the road – is the announcement that the Fitzrovia landmark, the BT […]

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"with a fine disregard for the rules"

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"the quarterdeck, where Nelson was standing, was the most dangerous spot on the HMS Victory"

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"she died on Kensington High Street, Alice"

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"It's no contest, London wins hands down"

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Poor William Wilkins. You really hope the London News wasn’t on his breakfast table that Sunday morning.

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Mother Needham was the most famous bawd – brothel keeper – in London history

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And so we embark on our journey of discovery, crack the code, reveal the meaning behind this strange, engimatic and erotic painting.

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"both naked...engaged in a very erotic embrace...what is clearly an incestuous encounter"

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"the most celebrated dinner in the City of London..."

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the boy, Webb Ellis, for his sporting sin, became a priest...

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St Martin-in-the-Fields is a small miracle about a miracle in a miracle in a miracle

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There’s been one of those periodic bursts of creativity on the part of Team London Walks.

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It was more than just putting up some Nash terraces...

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"through narrow city lanes...it's the little details that charm"

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You’ll never again be able to go into the National Gallery and look at a Reubens without thinking of bird shit.

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London calling. London Walks connecting. This… is London. Story time. History time. Yes, London Walks. AKA Streets Ahead. It’s January 27th, 2024. Quick one today. The pin is another barmy Britain item. Last time it was potty-mouthed parrots. This time it’s Olympic-standard criminal incompetence. The story ran last month in the York Press. It caught […]

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"you're looking at a portable flogging and beheading kit"

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If we were the British Museum Ruth’s urban geology walks would be the equivalent of the Egyptian mummies

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"your heart has missed the beat of centuries"

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So ladies went commando, and squatted over a chamber pot when required...

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"...finally, the shiver up the spine detail"

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"when you see the Battle of Trafalgar panel as it’s meant to be seen"

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"some cats are very efficient at retrieving but you can't train them to do it"

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"Morris believed that the 19th century had lost its way"

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"cats keeping dogs in their place"

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“What inexhaustible food for speculation the streets of London afford.”

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Useful information – how you can tell a cat's happy by its facial expression

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"parliament should be emptied of politicians and filled with manure"

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What Christmas in London was like in Jane Austen's day

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Here they are, six great Christmas shopping walks.

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"make sure you turn the girl into cash"

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"after being rubbished by the French it's nice to end with enthusiasm from a German"

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"aerial combat was something at which Canadian pilots excelled"

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"the challenging task of presenting 1912 London in a church"

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The thought that some lowlife preyed upon you. That you were their prey.

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It's like walking through a rainforest...

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Coo, Taters! ain’t it.

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June was cremated on a beach in Bali.

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It doesn't rain on London.

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"Holmes had sacrificed himself in order to destroy the Napoleon of Crime..."

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“On entering an Underground train it is customary to shake hands with every passenger”

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"from up here Constable could see all the way down the Thames estuary"

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The boys’ maid who tidied his room had to dust his soap each week

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A day in the life of a London Walks guide

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"Cats keeping dogs in their place..."

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"When I have crost the bar"

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"No castrated cheese for me"

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Spies, Lies and Deception

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This is one instance when historical accuracy has to give way to poetic genius.

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Historically, this is a death-stalked town...

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Jeeves described Bertie’s moustache as ‘a dark stain, like mulligatawny soup.’

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"the melancholy procession to the gallows"

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"the searchlights looked like long pillars supporting a black canopy"

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"a slaughterhouse stood directly over the way from where Polly Nichols was slaughtered"

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"he made a serious attempt to teach his pet poodle how to read"

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Let’s let DC burn, let’s go a mermaid-ing...

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the walk is a reconstruction of the London of 1923

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"that photograph of the Duke of York with his arm round a 17-year-old American girl"

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"he pissed on the populace – it provoked a riot"

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I’ll take the English version every time.

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"India is ours today...British bayonets beat bhang"

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the friends of the abolition of slavery – some 130 of them – have gathered at the tavern to celebrate the event

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a guide who has both a judge’s wig and a barrister’s wig

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Peter to the rescue of the baby robins

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Ann talking about her new walk, Cat Tails – A Feline Take on London History.

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I’d never been on a ride down a birth canal before

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those magnificent men in their flying machines

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the Mews house was where the Duke of York got himself photographed with his arm around the waist of a 17-year-old American girl

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"he sired three children on his secret mistress"

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Both hands were up in the air, making that famous V for Victory sign

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"it imploded that story in upon us"

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Minutes later eleven men – hard men, some of them drunk – come into that basement room...

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"he was nicknamed ‘the smiling killer'”

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"Mr Xavier was threatened with having his throat cut"

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"on hearing his height was eight feet four inches, I expected to see a deformed monster"

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"she danced up the Grand Staircase at Buckingham Palace"

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Sex, eternal youth, rhythm and blues mixed with rock and roll...

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Three kings in one year and the Spanish civil war

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"Sticky", that was the nickname for tennis in its early days

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“if your father had had a vasectomy all of your problems would be over”

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A Modern Daniel in a Den of Lions

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Royal Mistress, Lengthening Shadows & Poor Old Daddy

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"into the Inferno, a tour of Hell"

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Pettiness and punishment, the patriarchy’s performing ponies

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Pick an A-List date and find out what was going on in London on that day

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"I show my walkers stuff no other guide can show them"

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You go to Hampstead basically you've died and gone to heaven...

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"viewing cherry blossoms when they're in full bloom"

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"The Pit of Shame"

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A Jewish troublemaker and an Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring and fertility. What's not to like about that combo?

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It was the walking tour equivalent of baseball's greatest rarity – an unassisted triple play.

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It's a little hard to find but any guide worth his salt knows where it is...

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A bus breaking down is a life-changing moment for London. And for Londoners.

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"I love gossip"

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“Look at me with thy large brown eyes, Philip, my King.”

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he was accused of sodomy and impotence and alleged to have been surgically castrated

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See you next time

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the British young mastered this “childishly simple” system in no time at all but British adults...

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It’s the oldest surviving Valentine’s letter in the English language

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he was a world-class English eccentric

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"I think myself in hell"

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the Godless students of Gower Street

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There’s an even younger man. He’d only just turned 24 the week before

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they were running out of cannon fodder

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the "crime" with the Old Testament name

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Turner at last run Dun so far in the brain at the eye, that he fell Down presently stone dead;

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"the day kings die"

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Reggie Kray called the Crown Counsel a 'fat slob'

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He was a Tory of the old school. If it was progressive, he was against it.

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printed on the centre of each poppy, the letter H.F. For Haig Fund.

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Charles II “loved her more for her wit than the attractions of her person.”

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The best plum in the pudding, though, was a marriage proposal.

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London was the syphilis capital of the world in the 16th and 17th centuries

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"the black smudge at 2 because 2 pm was the hour when the king's head was chopped off"

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"from private information I have little doubt that his own family believed him to be the murderer"

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Sex, birth, scandal and possibly death...

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Today's the day – London's gas lamps debuted on January 28th, 1807

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A bit of late Georgian strutting her stuff

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"Had to tap their many barrells [sic] of beer to fight the blaze..."

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"the children dancing to the music of the band"

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She made the world a better place

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"having found in my head and body above 20 lice, little and great"

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Toby the performing seal could fire a gun

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he was the prince of highwaymen

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He wore a hair shirt.

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"this unlovely place has been devastated by catastrophe"

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January 18, 1486 – the wedding day of Henry VII and Elizabeth of York. This London History Bulletin tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. It’s January 18th, 1486 and it’s wedding bells. Westminster Abbey wedding bells. Royal wedding bells. The […]

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"this noiseless midnight terror"

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A major problem with our elected leaders is impunity.

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A Day of Shame.

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without warning, the scene was terribly changed

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"Keith, you of all people should know today's the anniversary of the birth of cinema"

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God's wrath strikes eight spectators dead at Bear Baiting

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"I surely may be styled a Man of Pleasure"

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"the concept of motiveless murder, these were new ideas"

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her sex debarred her from the bar, never mind how first-class her mind was

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On January 10th, 1863 the Metropolitan Line (the section from Paddington to Farringdon) debuts. It’s the first underground railway system in the world. This London History Bulletin tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. Ok, this is the London History Bulletin […]

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The coffin was on the quarter-deck, with its head toward the stern,

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a piece of butter about the size of three pennies on top of each other

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In at the birth of the typewriter. In London of course.

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Edward the Confessor's uncle was elected king

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"known for their random acts of extreme violence"

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Edward the Confessor was of Anglo-Norman stock

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at least 67 people were killed

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For good measure, they hanged him

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"London days of the year are like Christmas trees"

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Is that tunnel still there?

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"we have heard the chimes at midnight"

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"the sun is God"

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"you're out for a walk in London you're walking on a pie crust"

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"it was just a single room, 10 feet by 12 feet"

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"today's the 957th anniversary of the consecration of Westminster Abbey"

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"someday the clock will run down and then he'll get you"

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"little sparks of song"

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And so to where I wait, come gently on...

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"we shipwrecked people rose and fell with the waves"

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London is a world of museums – as well as being a museum itself.

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"The small pox very prevalent. And mortal. The Thames frozen."

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"I was apprenticed to the sea when I was only twelve years old"

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"We did not go to the Zoo; we went to the panda"

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God says, by God, God doesn’t exist, god damnit

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"it commands a view unsurpassed in Europe"

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"the gas jets were regularly left on to deter the rats"

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"You will be glad to hear, I know, that my Carol is a prodigious success.”

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calling him rogue, and Son of a whore, they knockt him down and dangerously wounded him

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he was the Irishman who created the dollar sign

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"as flies to wanton boys are we to the gods"

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500 strokes was 4,500 strokes – a death sentence

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"the shameless slut"

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"it would be like a miner finding the Star of India Sapphire"

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"the police became aware that Elizabeth had become guilty of 'lecherous living''

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The 26th Baron de Clifford was the last peer to be tried in the House of Lords. The trial took place on December 12th, 1935. This Today in London History podcast tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. Here’s one for […]

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"until now it has not been constitutionally possible for me to speak"

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My name is Nick Day and I've been in a few pantomimes in my time...

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It must have plucked the heartstrings of Londoners.

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A hug is always the right size

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Sir Charles Sedley mooned the hoi polloi down below

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The best seats were on the stage...

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"eyewitness evidence is unreliable...such devastating mistakes by eyewitnesses are not rare"

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"the ski champions were the headline acts"

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the factoids pile up like the stones that make up a cairn

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"flocks of chicken prostitutes which he observed before Somerset House, and which he mistook for the pupils of a large boarding school"

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The thing about the past is you can see into the future.

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we saw Kenneth Branagh before he became Kenneth Branagh

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“I suppose you’ve come over here to get one of our husbands.”

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the blaze was visible from ten counties

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Florence Nightingale and her team were nursing four miles of patients.

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"the Met did a psychological profile of Jack the Ripper"

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"the hapless soldier's sigh runs in blood down Palace walls"

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The Jury said: Guilty. The Judge said: Death. By hanging.

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"he was principally distinguished for mischief, deceitfulness, and a lack of serious application"

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“we may get a few months out of it, darlings, but it won’t break any records"

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"how much inconvenience and discomfort Englishmen will bear"

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...in each niche was a beautiful young girl, in the posture of a statue

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"feverish and fierce eyes"

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"that alone marked her as a fallen woman"

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"the elderly lady of the shawl, who seemed to renew her youth as the struggle proceeded, had to be arrested"

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"there were three of us in this marriage so it was a bit crowded"

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"a kind of second Armistice Day...London remembered Arthur and his act of heroism"

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They may be 450 years old but they're called 'baby books' – the oldest printed books are baby books!

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"the bridge was fiercely, indeed violently resisted"

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"that thrill-a-minute stuff in Harrods"

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"they were regularly at it until he was 140"

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"it was just one kiss but it did for her"

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"why not just London Calling?”

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"I stand astounded and appalled by the wickedness it exhibits"

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"we're about to do something that's never been done before"

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a corner of England that is, forever, a foreign field

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a package guaranteed to run rings around the male sex

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"I did con mi mano tocar la jambe de Mercer"

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Lord Lucan went to the family home to murder his wife. He killed the children’s nanny instead. Or so goes the story. This Today in London History podcast tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. It’s 9.45 pm on the night […]

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"her husband was a coachman to a wealthy family"

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the execution was botched

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Those birds – and how they are positioned – crystallise the matter for us.

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best of all, Guy spoke French

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a British commercial/shop version of a giant Swiss cuckoo clock

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"monarchy maps 300 years ago are almost solidly red. Kings everywhere..."

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“Of the many initiatives of the British government in the First World War, it cast the longest shadow.”

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"whoever the killer was he had to avoid being noticed by three different police officers"

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Santiago – the slayer of the Moors

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The statues all shrieked and ran for their lives.

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She sees the stockinged foot of a man protruding from behind an upright piano.

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I would have wanted to ask, “what is wrong with you, man?”

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"the walk turned into a donnybrook"

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Like gorged, albino leeches, sunning themselves on the slopes of that swarthy, unshaven face.

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"they fell into eternal darkness"

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"Polly was once again a woman alone and with nowhere to go"

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"the moment the modern English drama was born"

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"make sure you turn that slave girl into cash"

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"that'd be a size 33 shoe – you don't see too many of those in Jimmy Choos"

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the day the world said, “you’re it, Greenwich.”

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"it is proposed to call our king of bells, 'Big Ben'"

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“journalism largely consists of saying ‘Lord Jones dead’ to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive”

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Jenkins got home, with his ear, like a pickle, in a jar...

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"a gang of roughs charged the royal procession"

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"In his book Martin Fido describes her as 'a drab little woman who drank her husband's wages'"

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The tidal wave of porter blows out the 25 foot high rear wall of the brewery

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"a blackened, smoking, stinking ruin"

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"he squeezed through the tiny gap"

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"The crash was predictable and — more tragically — probably avoidable"

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“Turn again, Whittington, Lord Mayor of London.”

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"it displayed all the hallmarks of sincere swordsmanship"

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"one of the greatest headline grabbers of all time was born"

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"it transfused right round the world"

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On October 10, 1677 a 12-year-old heiress married a 20-year-old baronet. That wedding shaped the feature of London. This Today in London History podcast tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. Five points. 1. The bride was 12 years old.  2. […]

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A Rubicon was crossed that January day in 1649.

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"because I have supped full of horrors"

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"Good taste is death. Vulgarity is life" Mary Quant

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Did my compatriot really try to bed the Russian empress?

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The Jury re-considered their verdict, and returned a general verdict – Guilty – Death.

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"how could this Jekyll and Hyde world have come about?"

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Fascism is a hydra

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"the resulting hoo haw became an international incident"

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"a 74-year-old woman died of fright"

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"you do realise that October 1st is Railway Station Day in London"

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"go home and sleep quietly in your beds"

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"their foul-mouthed advertising of their wares was so hilarious that Nell was taken on as a professional performer"

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"it's not new and it's not a river"

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"he saw a halo of inhibited bacteria growth"

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"there are more than 100 suspects that have been put forward"

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"the breakout moment for the virus"

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he gave them firm instructions that they were to stay put

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The work of a civilised man, it was a work of civilisation

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"if you didn't know better you would have thought you were in Kansas City"

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"You go, girls"

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he saved the last fragment of the great Middlesex forest

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it's believed to be the first production mounted at the world's most famous theatre

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"it made me look at the whole mystery of Jack the Ripper in a new way"

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"about to die"

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"our little life is rounded with a sleep"

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You wouldn’t have wanted to go face to face with either of them...

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“an Englishman cannot open his mouth without making another Englishman either hate or despise him"

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"live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse"

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It looks like a vast hog.

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Events and historically important men and women are like radionuclides. They each have their own particular half-life.

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He made the mistake of leaving a thumbprint on a newly painted window sill.

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It looks down on us from across 35 centuries.

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Speaking with a foreign accent, the man muttered, “I am sorry.”

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"To my mind it is the perfect portrait."

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"the vehicle was driven into the front corridor of the famous actor's house"

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His aeroplane resembled nothing so much as a monstrous dragonfly.

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"a weapon which gave no warning"

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"you could actually feel your eyeballs being sucked out"

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That’s way over two football fields long

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"the first enemy airship to be brought down on British soil"

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"all forms of male homosexuality were illegal"

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"All changed, changed utterly"

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Four days later he doesn't have a city to be mayor of.

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"Cheer up, Ducky"

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Cholera was knocking on practically every other door

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"three cheers for our queer old Dean"

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"that'd be about 75 million pounds in today's money"

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"London was abuzz about insects"

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"a seasonable show of dying"

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The jeep that sailed across the Atlantic ocean took to the road and drove up to London on August 26, 1951. This Today in London History podcast tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. We’ve seen it before, we’ll see it […]

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Full capacity was sixteen passengers, fourteen inside and two outside.

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The conception moment for Romanticism took place on this day, August 24th, 1770. This Today in London History podcast tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. It’s one of the great sob stories in English Literature. But it ain’t true. I’m […]

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he was pelted with garbage and dung – the Twitter of his day

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"the king knighted him on the spot"

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"they were in a race to introduce actresses on the London stage"

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"the room where the deed was done"

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"she ate a £100 banknote [£20,000 in today's money]"

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"who gives a damn now anyway?"

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"they were walking to a folk dancing display"

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"less than a year separated them from the hangman's rope"

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"He has to hobble to his place of execution."

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"they're fast going the way of the dodo"

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"the black cat who adopted two baby rats"

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"I met Murder on the way"

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“Kray brothers, criminals, became icons of a very British form of criminality inextricably linked with memories of the 1960s."

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"What was the first music the first promenaders heard?"

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“May a buffalo in heat find you in his time of need"

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"'the barbarians have made me welcome'"

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"he tried to teach his pet poodle to read"

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"the only street in the country where cars drive on the right-hand side of the road"

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"she was effervescent, outspoken, bawdy"

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"a high-stepping dance of personal triumph"

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"baseball is more fit for boys under twelve"

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"with battleaxes and spears in their hands"

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"A waterman fished him out. Saved his life."

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" Landseer has made Nelson like a Daniel in the lions’ den, with the advantage only of being out of the lions’ reach"

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“If the dead could come back today, there would be no war"

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"the medical malady called Rising of the Lights"

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"he is one of those giant figures who lose their nationality in death"

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"there are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make"

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"a man in a wash-tub drawn by four geese"

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"it makes me laugh, in fact, it makes me sing"

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"no graveyard grimness"

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"persons bathing there were liable to the death penalty"

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"the three of them ambled over to the boundary wall of the service station and reconditioned it"

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"those paintings that sugar magnate pest is trying to foist on us"

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"a day of infamy – but also London at its best"

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"high spirits transmogrifying in a couple of seconds into terror and then horror"

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"Battle was joined – and a pitched battle it was"

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"the glass testicle"

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"the world's largest indoor meeting"

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"Ergo the building’s unusual – and richly rewarding to look at – outline..."

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"His last words were 'Farewell to you all, I am dead, I am happy.'”

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"when they sentenced her to death she said, 'thanks'"

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"the contents of the message are valuable pieces to the puzzle"

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"500 times deadlier than the 1666 Great Fire of London"

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"money changed hands – but not in that way"

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"the ladies' trophy"

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"she broke a white silken band with her bows"

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"'That's it, this is how I'm going to die.'"

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"Thomas More stuck his neck out"

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"London trams were started by an American named Train"

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" trouble – and another stretch behind bars – was just round the corner"

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In 2022 terms that would be over 5,000 Londoners crushed to death

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"no Thames, no London"

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"the army was almost a law unto itself"

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"It opened on June 30th, 1614"

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"he was the favourite sculptor of the royal family"

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"London is not complete without the 'winged boy'"

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"the sense of dashed hopes is perhaps greater here than anywhere else in the world"

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King Edward VII opened the Victoria and Albert Museum on June 26, 1909. That event (occasion) is the subject of today’s Today in London History podcast. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. It happened. I knew it would. My conscience got the better […]

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"a fissure cracking open the foundations their world rested on"

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"It was billed as one of the sights of the season"

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"the destruction of a great artistic monument"

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Finally, the human cost...

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"he described himself as 'a rain-forcer'"

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"he thus prides himself on eluding all taxes"

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"Blue devils, raw lobsters and Peel's bloody gang"

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"If history is a coral reef..."

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"Three lives cut short. And for what."

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"history is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake"

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"he did something you didn't do"

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"free lunch coming up"

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"fed on the fullness of death"

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"those 130,714 London paupers"

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"he was 'almost devoured before his friends were aware of the danger'"

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The great actor David Garrick gave his farewell performance on June 10, 1776. This Today in London History podcast takes us there. TRANSCRIPT London calling. London Walks connecting. London Walks here with your daily London fix. Story time. History time. It’s June 10th. And talk about spoiled for choice. Working back, 22 years ago today […]

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"a choreography of death designed to forestall violence"

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"as names go, those two are handle-bar moustaches"

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"by the contagion of their polluted breath"

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"today it's worth over £1.5 billion"

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"those blood-red coats, that riot of colour – that just didn't feel right for that time"

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"I love the light. It's soft. It's romantic. It's old London"

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"Rescue has always been my favourite breed"

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"a form of servitude"

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"they couldn't hear themselves because of the screaming girls"

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"one-armed, one-legged men"

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"wretches hang that jury-men may dine"

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"the king's dog, which shit in the boat"

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"bad things happen when there's not enough money"

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"they were believed lost, dead"

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"twelve working-class people were killed"

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"broke a tooth trying to bite through his cage"

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"counting Jonathan Wild's wives is an inexact science"

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"the moment when just his head was above the water"

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"They will have had a tale to tell their grandchildren"

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London calling. London Walks here with the Saturday Special. Yes, that’s right, just like that the Friday Special’s morphed into the Saturday Special. For this week at any rate.  And this Saturday Special means today’s the day we put out two podcasts: the daily Today in London History podcast. And a special, a wild card. […]

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"putting paid to the soapy-fits king"

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"the creepiest, most interesting and indeed most spectacular side is the West cemetery"

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"It's what makes you shudder in anticipation"

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"the streets blazed with illuminations"

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"Death was coming for the Queen"

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"this stroke stunned me a good deal"

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"London's seeing something it's never seen before"

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"he was shot in the mouth and fell dead on the deck"

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"a newspaper sold well when it contained a picture or reported a shocking crime"

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"a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime"

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I want a consultant neurosurgeon – not some schlubber with a scalpel and a copy of Gray’s Anatomy.

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"that man's got a gun"

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"You're about to be carpet-bombed"

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"the wealthiest commoner in England"

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"he was expelled from school for thumping the Headmaster"

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"A minute later that vivacious 17-year-old girl collapsed...was dying"

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"this is the real corpse"

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"the letter offered a kind of prisoner exchange"

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"an education in brutality for Londoners"

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"profound implications for our culture, for our polity"

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"Henry VIII was marrying too many women, executing too many men, and persecuting everyone else..."

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"the naughty bible"

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"xenophobia set the trail of gunpowder alight"

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"the 'misery line', that's what Londoners call it"

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"excavations that revolutionised the archaeology of London"

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"be sure you turn the girl into money"

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"showing off their high dorsal fin"

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"it began in Hell"

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"watch a man squeeze into a quart bottle"

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"once a bomb starts ticking..."

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"it's much easier than falling off a log"

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"he was called back to the platform half a dozen times"

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"the neck-high fence was there to prevent head-on collisions"

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"foreigners may not like us but they like the place"

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"Wigs and fur-lined gowns and capes and swords and halberds and buckled shoes and stockings and flaring garters of lace"

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"an examination of the Duchess's anatomy"

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"the medium is the message"

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"he put the gun against her forehead and pulled the trigger"

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“the basic product is not the rooms, the food or drink, it is the service"

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"He was lantern-jawed. Five o’clock shadowed. Double-chinned. Broad-shouldered. Deep-voiced. Hirsute hands"

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"thanks to the restoration we're seeing things we couldn't see before"

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"the desolation around St Paul’s reminded many people of Ypres in the heart of London"

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"the hard part's over; now comes the easy part – raising the money"

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"When the British government gave it a go in 1752, they faced riots."

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"6-feet tall, pouting and heavily made-up, the 13-year-old..."

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"what inexhaustible food for speculation the streets of London afford"

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"the English are branded on the tongue"

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"the only way to bombproof a city is to abandon it"

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"Fragonard is still misunderstood and under-appreciated as an artist"

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"my family, they were the idle rich"

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" it’ll be hyper-connected, super-connected, ultra-connected"

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"bobbies in their old uniforms and funny helmets"

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"where felons and criminals dwell"

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"second to the left and straight on till mourning"

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"This was a man"

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"three years penal servitude"

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"with this triumph the effeteness of monarchical institutions becomes more evident"

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"the elbow breaks out of the picture plane into our space"

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"cigarettes, whiskey and wild, wild women"

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"other ruffians would shark on you"

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"it's all about perspective"

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"they knew they'd witnessed one of the greatest sporting events of all time"

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"that splendidly macabre detail"

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"he was the first dog ever allowed on the field at Wembley Stadium"

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"in today's parlance, the surgeon ripped Pepys a new one"

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"unforgettable and unmissable"

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"a million people walked under the river to the other side"

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"something exotic, something utterly new to London"

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"terribly bogus and very odd"

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"the superstar-spangled banner"

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"it was like a volcano waiting to erupt"

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"the first driverless train was introduced in 1863"

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"in that case, I'm a dead man"

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"nothing in the Tate story reflects well on the government"

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"if we go back to Roman times..."

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"the night the lights of London were switched back on"

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"Queen Eleanor wanted a taste of home"

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"we've decided to go public"

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'curiouser and curiouser' cried Alice

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"Big Ben Cyclopsing you"

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"the day American consumer culture arrived in London"

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"treason and heresies"

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"the radioactive, white-hot core of feeling in 1938 was dread and resignation"

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"the rich man who was butler to the poor"

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"the prettiest library in the land"

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"how did Fleet Street become Fleet Street"

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"the first phone call in Britain"

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"shot him in the forehead at point-blank range"

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"the figures are jaw dropping"

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"the building itself is drama"

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"he prepared for matches by consuming a dozen oysters"

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"he chose to drown in that filthy canal"

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"I don't like the name Blowup Bridge – it sounds like something inflatable"

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"John Lennon claims the Beatles are more popular than Jesus"

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"the attraction of repulsion"

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"some of the social tensions – resentments, hatreds..."

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"amazing small town, the small town that has everything"

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"the way to a radical's heart is through his stomach via his tastebuds"

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"when it lacks the heat shield of lots of time between us and what happened, history can be vile"

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"Goldie attacked two Cairn terriers of undoubted Scots descent, like his wife"

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"we have to leave our whips at the gate"

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"I wanted to be a fighter pilot"

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"one of the few places where you can see and hear the Westbourne"

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"a specific against grossness, brutality and despair"

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"rowdiness, nudity and public homosexuality"

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"you're up on the roof of London"

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"he was shocked during the war by the bawdiness of his fellow sailors"

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"she had a marked aversion to the colour green"

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"someone so disaffected that he emptied a revolver at the House of Commons"

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"after sliding headfirst down a cable from the top of St. Paul’s"

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"so that's where the word shampoo comes from"

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"what she did have was a 41-inch bust"

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It can kill you in a matter of hours. And it’s a horrible way to go.

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There was the Farting Club, the Ugly Club, the One-eyed Men Club...

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"age cannot wither nor custom stale her infinite variety"

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"February 14, 1554 was the most terrible day in London's history"

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"we know where she died, when she died and how she died"

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"as black as the duke of hell's waistcoat"

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"it was a sight those people would never forget"

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"it's worth pointing out that at that time many ladies were not accustomed to wearing underwear"

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More London Walks heading round to the dark side of the London moon. Today – February 11th – is the anniversary of the acquittal of Cynthia Payne. Cynthia Payne is richly deserving of a place in the Today in London History Pantheon. This podcast tells the tale. TRANSCRIPT February 11th. Another one of those cup […]

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"an economic Dunkirk"

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"the most disastrous fire in the history of British motion pictures"

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"London was in a blind panic"

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"whimsical but very London"

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"he is clearly a man of the world"

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"And the biggest and poshest shelter? I'll bet you can guess."

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"destroyed by a London mob"

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"it protects 20 percent of the Lake District"

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"we're looking at the bridgehead on both sides of the river"

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“Dress suitably in short skirts and strong boots, leave your jewels in the bank and buy a revolver"

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"the most remarkable 19th-century building in the country"

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"etched in acid on the wall of your memory"

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"the day the king's head was sewn back on"

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"Chelsea would be more than head high in water"

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"London's Day of the Dead"

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"Given that the ninth Earl was George II’s Groom of the Stool, he was probably glad to get out in the fresh air at every opportunity"

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"a combination that guaranteed huge successes in the auction room"

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"his tombstone bears the words: 'a victim of British justice'"

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"Why did I do it? Because it intensifies life, that's why"

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"a kenspeckle bodie"

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“Lector, si monumentum requiris, circumspice,”

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"It’s so poignant, that last name on the souvenir, Hans Kelder – Hans in the cellar"

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"we're all playing that mighty organ called London"

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"the great exodus of British G.I. wives"

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"Britain's most distinguished crime historian"

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"he went on to be the Robespierre of the Russian Revolution"

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"they made sure the king died before midnight"

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"they hanged the twins together"

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"it was suicidal"

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"a piece of wood that passed for Venetian needle lace"

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"a turning point in world history"

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"scurrilous vituperation, violent abuse"

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"no riff-raff allowed"

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"the River Lea has always been a border"

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"he wheelbarrowed the Czar through a holly hedge"

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"the last highwayman to be gibbeted"

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"for those who have no country house"

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"that was followed by a sensational piece of advice"

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"come hither you little bastard"

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"no more important meeting has ever taken place in London"

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"it made Britain a very class-conscious place"

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"the day they closed the door that never closed"

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"here's how the Enigma machine works"

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"a disaster unique in the annals of London"

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"this royal tale has an uncanny doppelganger"

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"a lantern festival on the Thames"

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"she could hear birds singing to her in ancient Greek"

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"Fire! Fire!!"

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"the police were outgunned"

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"the first woman to loop the loop"

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"the most celebrate Maypole in London"

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"a once in a lifetime opportunity"

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"he was that rarity, a successful gambler"

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"he was buried wearing a Bugger Brexit badge"

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"we have this American to thank for the London Underground"

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"the most sacred space in England"

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"that letting down her guard moment"

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"picked out by the Queen herself"

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"the Thousand Pound Pond and Grand Duke Michael's Dogs' Graves"

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"like a bad lobster in a dark cellar"

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"viruses see us as very convenient real estate"

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"Her Majesty and I will be pulling each other's crackers"

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"give us back our eleven days"

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"it encapsulates everything I love about London at Christmas"

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"within one week of the fire Christopher not only had a plan for the rebuilding of St Paul's, he also had a plan for the rebuilding of the City"

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"the only underground line that does run completely underground"

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"the hatchet glittered coldly in the moonlight"

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"Dickens' stories were designed to be read aloud"

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"It's Thanksgiving. So naturally we're going to do some Londoning"

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"you are here in the heart of Paris, on the banks of the Seine"

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"just a year before the murders not a single murder took place in Whitechapel"

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"I'll be sharing images using Apple's incredible Retina Display and the maximum group size will be 10"

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"it gave me a sickening idea of London"

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"he was the most cosmopolitan Englishman of his time"

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"women and children were the prime targets for the grave robbers"

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Music, murder and our mutual friend

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"Violetta is a celebrity photographer...she's recently photographed the Oscar nominees"

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"We're going to go back to the beginning of the Metropolitan Line"

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"in little pockets you can see the anarchy of the Middle Ages"

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"Is she scary? Yes, she is."

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"I wanted to get back to Goa as soon as I got here"

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"Paris above ground comes from Paris below ground"

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"many different ways of calculating time"

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"prostitutes in mediaeval London were tolerated as long as they wore yellow caps"

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Yeah Yeah Yeah. Richard’s got a new book on the Beatles coming out (publication date: October 11). It’s titled The Beatles Fab Four Cities: Liverpool, Hamburg, London and New York. He’s co-authored it with the chap who does Beatles tours in Liverpool and the gal who does them in New York. Book’s about the Beatles’ […]

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This is the fifth and final part of Helena’s series on Caravaggio’s masterpiece, The Taking of Christ. At one point Helena speaks of “the beauty and quality of this work.” That phrase is equally applicable to her work – her art criticism/appreciation/history. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating, I am, without fail, spellbound […]

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"the most psychologically complex study of Judas' character in the history of art"

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"her influence spanned continents"

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"he recoils in utter horror"

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"the frescoes are like a live-action movie"

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"the powers of darkness are at full strength"

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"this is the green fairy – it's what happens to you if you drink too much absinthe"

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"199 riverboats that have this rather bohemian, trendy existence...it used to be a really cheap living option"

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"I won the National Championship on more than one occasionl"

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"a pivotal moment...where the destiny of the country hangs in the balance"

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"Inner London is beginning to be drained of its family life"

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"the platonic ideal of a guide"

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"she was the only link between Paris and London"

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"see power for what it is – and where it is"

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"how influential those horses are to the way we use London today"

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"that network of tiny little alleyways is so complicated, so intricate..."

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"he wrote a book called The Lives of the Famous Whores"

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"seeing things they wouldn't have noticed themselves"

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"it opens doors of meaning and understanding"

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"London place-names are an x-ray – they show you the past"

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"trying to capture how they're feeling"

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"the first stop, we have to start big..."

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"Eisenhower had no intention of liberating Paris"

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"if you live in London you're 90 percent River Thames"

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"and here we are at Bridgerton House"

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"you're looking at where those kids lived"

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"we get to do some high-end sampling on the Village in Piccadilly walk"

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"the foundations of the wealth of the City of London"

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"I get to show off and pretend to be a little bit clever as well"

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"you have more fun at a Glasgow funeral than you do at an Edinburgh wedding"

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"when you smell oranges you know spring is coming"

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"99 percent of London is the dark side of the moon to most visitors"

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"I watched it three times"

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"you can take your sword to the exams"

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"It was a strip club so 'We never closed' became 'we never clothed'"

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"his out-of-control penis"

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"the roof looks like a stingray"

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"I committed myself to getting a really expensive taxi and then everything shut down"

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"I love the fact that I have a personal connection with the saving of Hampstead Heath"

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"that conduit carries one of the lost rivers of London"

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"a whole world of osculation"

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"Paris was the largest port in France"

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"incredibly personal information"

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"it was their longest performance since their days at the Cavern Club"

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"it was a kind of Brexit"

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"double-faced traitor whose name was a synonym for infamy"

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"red we associate with prostitution generally"

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"I never needed a validation to take my first breath"

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"we're going to concentrate on the pilgrims and what they tell us about mediaeval life"

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"Yevele's most sophisticated piece"

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"the kind of strange universe that was Paris during the Second World War"

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"look more closely...the arm appears to be breaking the membrane of the canvas"

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"London has been in hibernation for more than a year now"

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"the sunken city"

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"a quantum leap in vaccinology"

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"people wouldn't know that unless it was pointed out by one of us"

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"they still have the original bar there where Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald met"

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"the schlong on this thing, it's huge"

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"my flag habit is costing me about £5 a day"

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"a new generation emerges, the so-called 'lost generation'"

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"one little boy said, 'I think the floor should be made of chocolate'"

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"the reason that they didn't use women actors was...Shakespeare uses this gender confusion to maximum effect"

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"the internal structure of the house – the wattle and daub – they've exposed it, so you can actually see it"

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"Caravaggio isn't just a brilliant artist, he's a brilliant director"

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"we're going to go to Paris very briefly and we're going to go to The Cotswolds – very briefly"

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"they chopped up the furniture to make firewood"

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"she blindsided me with her question"

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"my cue [pun doubtless intended] is for queen"

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"I'd been playing football in the Thai League..."

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"it was a kind of Brexit"

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"his breaking down of the barrier between the picture plane and the viewer's space in such a dramatic and intense way the viewer feels they are as much of a participant as a spectator to what is going on"

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"We've had a report a man in a costume is dancing along the motorway"

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"in many ways they've made us all complicit in the slave trade"

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"the diversity of things...that's something that only London can offer"

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"I'm looking at a secret waterfall"

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"a row of seven astonishing mansions'

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"who's going to call the Queen 'Cabbage' now?"..."the question he asked us was, 'how much do you earn?'"

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"you direct people's attention in the way that a film director chooses a particular shot"

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"you're looking at the office where the Archbishop of Canterbury works"

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"I want Richard Walker in my pocket narrating my life"

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"when the head landed in the basket and sneezed"

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"in one street there were so many spies it was difficult to fit them all into the walk"

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"I had the turning circle of an oil tanker"

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"the best toasted sandwich this side of Tuscany"

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"the Rolling Stones had to pretend to be the Beatles' roadies"

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The Year of the Psychopath

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"some scholars believe she's the dark lady of Shakespeare's sonnets"

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"I got two years probation for running the toughest gang in the neighbourhood and causing chaos"

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"I met Joe Biden many times"

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"still life with substance, art imbued with a deeper meaning"

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"and boy did he like a good fight"

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"We're looking at the London of the [1809] book"

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"they sit on 625 kms of shelves"

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"Joanne said, 'I needed a name that evokes both power and exoticism'"

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"D for Devonshire Road...I live about halfway down"

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"it's incredibly therapeutic"

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"he was the Martin Scorsese of his day"

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"Like Shackleton, you have to find your way back"

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"Iceland can be partly blamed for causing the French Revolution"

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"nine bridges are lit up like this"

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"if we get really close in we discover that there are lots of hidden secrets"

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Into this stew i'm going to throw as many ingredients as I can as quickly as I can "I'll do my Dracula impression"

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"cruel and unusual in its methods of punishment"

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"when I set up the Friends of the Prostrate charity"

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"lured to the basement flat to be executed"

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"'I was too stoned to remember' – well done, Sir Ringo"

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"he purchased 15 women...he was the last person to see Shelley alive"

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"yellow spectacles, pink spectacles, blue spectacles"

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"I didn't want to get in a fluster"

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"we follow the route of L-13 Zeppelin as it dropped bombs over London"

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"some cats achieve global fame"

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"they had 10 illegitimate children"

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"that white make-up, it was a mixture of vinegar and lead"

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"the second-largest house in London"

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"I thought we'd do something a little bit more quirky this evening"

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"he was decapitated"

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"not just to go on hugging the shore afraid to put out to sea"

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"before Montmartre was the principal red-light district of Paris it was one of the holiest places in France"

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"it's a London mecca for American tourists"

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"Montmartre was the centre of the universe if you were an artist"

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"Ringo took one suitcase full of clothes and another full of Heinz beans"

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"the idea was to put Drake's ship Golden Hinde on top of old St. Paul's – wouldn't that have been fantastic"

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"Today, we can sum up Soho in three words: food, music and sex"

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"he designed the building so we could look out and see London performing in front of us"

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"I am not making this up...he decided to count the number of penises"

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"so we can get an idea of the real faces of Chaucer's contemporaries"

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"British soil was reddened with the blood of my race"

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"I broke down into tears"

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"we are staring at the face of a 6th-century king"

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"in celebration of the grocer's girl"

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"if Michaelangelo can create the Pietà which is two figures out of marble, I can create three"

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"actually, it is in fact the 18th century equivalent of soft porn"

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"20 houses, shops, a drawbridge in the middle, heads on stakes"

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"when he heard her singing his morale went down – he called her 'Hitler's secret weapon'"

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"so that means that you pay me [says the tourist]"

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"it's the most haunted pub in London"

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"they ate dinner inside the dinosaur"

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"that's like panning for gold and finding a gold speck in the pan"

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"you couldn't get more relevant than these, as we emerge, right now, from our disease"

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"whenever you see Benedict Cumberbatch (or the actor who plays me, Martin Freeman) enter or leave their house, they were actually filmed exactly here"

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"I'm also a writer for Lonely Planet guidebooks...a certified know-it-all"

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"the back of my head and one line and my hand approaching Joanna Page's nipple"

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"all of these cottages are now lived in by actors for the season...mine is No. 31"

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"multiple colours, hugely vibrant"

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"you would have been able to walk from London to Minnesota" – Aaron

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"London Walks has been handed down to us" Noel Coward and guide Shaughan Seymour team up

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"that job was like being put in charge of Facebook and Amazon and Google for London"

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"he was unwashed, shabby, shabbily, dressed, boorish, philistine, uncouth, miserly, misogynistic, crude"

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"and now we're going to turn and we're going to head up the canal"

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"an act of physical intimacy involving the use of celery"

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"When you were tugging on their udders were you talking to your cows in that fruity accent?"

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"90 percent of the cenotaph is invisible, like grief"

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"we're going to go to Paris very briefly"

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"this really was the heart of ancient Rome"

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"his suit is the colour of the London sky, hiding in plain sight"

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"this is what it looked like at the beginning of the 19th century"

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"Houston, we have lift-off"

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"if you've got a taste for London quirky and quixotic..."

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"from the top of the wheel you could gaze out and see Windsor Castle, 20 miles away, upside-down"

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"I've been inside Abbey Road studios on several occasions"

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"it's not only my badge that's turning blue"

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"make sure you turn that girl into cash"

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"he changed his name on the top deck of a red London bus as it went by Bart's hospital"

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"Henry VIII had so many homes people have lost count"

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"this is Tudor, fabulously Tudor, 1595...and underneath it, this is 1240"

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"the Romans were the first to do a hard line in slightly tacky souvenirs"

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"Let's start with the oldest man-made object – it's 1.8 million years old"

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"It becomes a place of entertainment, theatre, prostitution, boxing – basically Las Vegas"

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The sounds of nature on Hampstead Heath

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"Eric Clapton wet himself in fear"

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"Dad came to me and said 'I've got the chance of buying the Cavern, what do you think?'...they just exploded onto the stage, their energy was absolutely palpable"

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"there are reports of their paintwork blistering from the heat of the fires"

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"they thought Roman mortar was so strong because it was made of bull's blood...in fact it was crushed tile"

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"a song for Lockdown, Ladies and Gents – Keep right on to the end of the road"

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"it's thrilling to see the sun rise over that particular stone"

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"I was a pretty unsuccessful actor – everybody knew that except me."

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"joyful yea-saying" – it's like con brio gone supernova"

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"London houses are like baseball cards"

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"very brave of you to drive in such an enormous country"

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"London Walks defies economic gravity – they're aggressively non-commercial"

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"I've been face to face with God's assassin"

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"she had the heart of her husband mummified and wore it round her neck"

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"Britannia-like strong matriarchal figures appear all over the place"

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"it was the only part of Queen Elizabeth II's coronation ceremony that was not televised – because of its sacred nature"

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"tidings of comfort and joy"

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"this huge difference-maker of a man"

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"I've chosen several key Christmases to focus on"

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"the sun, blood-red on the eastern marshes behind dark masts and yards, seemed filled with the ruins of a forest it had set on fire"

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"I can remember, I can remember the months of November and December"

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"it changed the experience of theatre-going"

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"we're just about to put them in the oven"

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"It is remorselessly beautiful, it looks exactly as it did in the 1870s"

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"I had called upon my friend Sherlock Holmes on the second morning after Christmas"

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"I could not see any sign of this strange, midnight wanderer"

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"the water temperature was just 5 degrees...I was in for about eight minutes"

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"she had over 500 love affairs"

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"you'll notice that the lights are all hanging vertically from the tree – that's because that's the Norwegian tradition"

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"we see Margaret Thatcher as a victim of snobbery and being outclassed"

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"the Christmas lights in Bow Lane, shining like a good deed in a naughty world"

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"when you look at the real royal family you might be a little disillusioned"

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"we may be looking up at modern buildings but we're walking along a street plan that hasn't changed very much at all in 2,000 years"

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"So, this preposterous, vulgar, outlandish, outrageous, bombastic prince sets about rebuilding the centre of London in his image"

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"I was looking for something different...I've learnt lots of things that I didn't know before"

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"make sure you turn the girl into money"

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David Cameron wearing a condom over his head

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"It's like being a detective – but there are traces"

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A tiny chalice of light in green – an English oasis.

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"you'll pick up enough odd facts to astonish everyone around the dinner table"

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"but at the end of the story it's revealed as a castle in the air...it's impossible to read that story without a lump coming into the throat..."

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"you get a huge amount of extra material on your screen that you don't get on the walking tour"

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"what London was like in this crucial period of its history"

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"that sequence in 'the tea ceremony' was a class indicator"

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"tonight Simon and Christopher will take us to a slightly less reputable establishment"

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"he apologised to his courtiers for taking so long to die"

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"it was a degrading moment...it was called being 'left on the stones'"