President Xi Jinping has a dream. He wants to see China become one of the great soccer countries in the world. This month Beijing unveiled plans to completely revolutionize the way the global game is played in China.

The country already has the world's largest football academy, and in a mere 5 years will have 20,000 specialist football academies and more than 30 million students regularly playing soccer.

The ultimate goal is that by 2050, China would be able to host the World Cup tournament, and perhaps even make a run at winning the competition.

There is - ahem! - some substantial improvement necessary in order for China to reach these goals. The country is currently ranked 81st in the world in soccer.

Not to worry - the short-term solution for Chinese soccer clubs is easy. Import a LOT of Brazilian players who will help the locals learn how to really play the "jogo bonito," or beautiful game!

Always nice to see globalization in action!

Meanwhile, the world continued to lurch from one ridiculous story to another:

• An unusual street fight in China involved rival construction firms using bulldozers and front-end loaders to do battle in the middle of an urban street.

• British police busted a bungling burglar who officers said left a trail of white paint footprints from the scene of the crime to his own front door.

• The Australian owner of a dog thought to be the world's oldest at 30 years of age announced the canine died peacefully in her sleep.

• A resident of an apartment building in Colombia was recorded climbing out of his 13th story balcony to rescue a dog dangling from a ledge.

• A woman in Spain was thanked by a local train station after finding and returning a bag containing more than €8,000 in cash.

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