Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community: Recent Episodes
Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community
We’re both getting new jobs. James is contrary. Jenn is put into emergency mode by her stupid husband. We talk about our first jobs, chat makes a good boss, a good coworker, and what we’re planning for retirement. Enjoy!
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The post 8: Work appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I’m a bad sports dad. Starting a new job. Trying to get a cheap car for the boy. Not going to see Five Iron Frenzy. The scale is going down. Family updates. What I’m reading, watching, playing and doing. Plus some thoughts about God.
Questions? Thoughts? james@nlcast.com
Everything else: gokcast.com
The post 207: A Mystery appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Jenn taps into James’ inner redneck as she poses a series of questions about the typical Florida Man to try to get some insight into the thinking behind their strange behavior.
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The post 7: Gators appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Chris shares a bathroom with a hungry man. A man in Florida steals a boat. Kenneth’s sister enjoys chips with mammals in the bag. Bobby’s cousin faces off against a dino-rat. Lauren recounts a hilarious church disturbance.
Check out We’re Both Right: a new podcast from your host James and his wife Jennifer.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
- Twitter: @jameswkennison
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The post 464: Chip Bag Buddies appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
What a difference a week makes. A new job. My life-changing morning routine. The scale is still going down. Walgreen’s drama. Family updates. Praise for the Fallout show on Prime. Enjoying @Haminations on YouTube. Trying to keep water out of the basement.
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The post 206: I Design Signs appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Who here likes rejection? Not me, but rejection can be a good thing. James and Jenn are podcasting again. James overcomes a period of depression. Podcast meet-up. J’s got a hammock. Jenn’s got a new job. Lots of updates this week!
The post 205: Rejected appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Jason loves homeschool co-op days. An 8-year-old drives his mom around downtown St. Louis. Erica’s 3-year-old wears boxers. Buster the cat is a butt.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 463: Horrible Heelys appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Jenn is being judged unfairly. James tastes the dog. Clothes are different for guys and girls.
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The post 6: Clothes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Jay’s cousin explodes going down a mine shaft. Derek learns not to shout the name Tucker in a crowded place. Oscar plays a trick on a childhood enemy. James has to deal with a new marriage and his vegan grandma.
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The post 462: Vegan Grandma appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Air B&B’s, Job Interviews, Downtown St. Louis and the right way to say Crayon.
The post 5: Reboot appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
What it’s like when you’re 29 and single. The feeling that you’re alone even though you’re surrounded by people.
The post 4: 29 and Single appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I had a bad experience with my dog. I’m six weeks out from my bariatric sleeve surgery. Teens need to read the room. I had a job interview. Family updates. My initial thoughts on Fallout on Prime and more.
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The post 204: Fifty Pounds appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
The stories aren’t bad… but bad things happen to the people in them. Jacob tells a spurious story. TJ gets a stinky leg. Flash looses his hat so a herd of sheep. Lots of clean comedy stories and laughs this week.
Narthex Con is June 29th in St. Louis, MO. You should come. Check narthexcon.com to register for this free fan favorite event!
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The post 461: Bad Stories appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Y’all know me. I don’t use phrases like “God Ordained” lightly… but for real, I think you’ll agree once you hear this weeks episode. Lots of updates on my bariatric surgery, going through the soft solid phase. Updates on family and my mental health. I may even be getting a real job soon! Enjoy!
The post 203: God Ordained appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Megan’s husband gets no love from his family after eating a pizza grazed clean by his ailing chihuahua. Bobby reminds us how casual parenting was in the 70’s as he gets lost in a department store stairwell. Six-year-old AJ turns out to be The Omen after scaring her grandmother to death.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 460: Topping Troubles appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Tons of live updates. We’re moving up to new foods. I’ve finally found a way to start my day. I’m moving to a new studio. I may have a new job. Happy Easter!
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The post 202: Baby Banana appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Bobby’s boss looses faith in his new assistant. Bill’s daughter isn’t tall. Marcella’s son mis-cooks & a cheerleader unintentionally flips everyone off at every game.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 459: Metal Finger appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
It’s been three weeks since my bariatric sleeve surgery and it’s time for some humorous updates. You wouldn’t think it but pureed food can be tasty. NeiR: Automata won’t let me save. I’ve lost enough weight to be able to do things I haven’t been able to do in a while.
The post 201: The Ring appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Bobby’s rescue dog finds a huge jar of nuts. Ella embarrasses herself by yelling at a repair man. Finn looks like he’s climbed a rock wall in the nude. Rye’s friend tries hammering with a cow pie.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 458: Dachshund Diet appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I’m two weeks out from my bariatric surgery so let’s talk about transitioning from my liquid-only diet to my pureed diet. I’m talking bananas, mashed potatoes, baby food and more. A sweet high-school bacon bit memory. I was on narcotics in the hospital and saw things I’ll never see again. Enjoy!
Yay 200 episodes! (Finally!)
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The post 200: Bacon Bits appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
An up and coming musician has butterflies in a weird location. A newlywed’s attempt at cooking bacon goes hilariously wrong. A toddler’s persistent demand for ketchup teaches her uncle a valuable lesson. A nephew in need of a ride leads to a panic-filled pickup mission at the bus station in the middle of the night.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 457: Not Your Uber appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
It’s been a week since my bariatric sleeve surgery. Here’s a humorous look at the whole process.
The post 199: Surgery Stories appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Michael gets bit. Eden’s dad gets ridden by a mouse. TJ thinks his sister looks like a dude. Erma super glues a plant.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 456: Bed Mouse appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I’m making a major change that will positively affect my health and lifespan. No more shame. It’s time to share it.
The post 198: The Secret appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Depression has been at the center of my life for the past 10 years. What now? Can things be different? Is it worth trying to start my life again? What can I do to set myself for a future worth living for? All this and more in this week’s episode.
The post 197: Goals & Growth Beyond Depression appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Abby’s precious ring gets lost in a bad place. Parrots share profanity. Nathan get’s “foot punched”. Sam is accused of putting a bug on a lady. Clara’s little brother gets called out for being whiny.
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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The post 455: Whiny Andy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Replacing a stolen vehicle makes car shopping quite a chore. The tactics used by car dealers only add to the challenge.
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The post 196: Cartastrophe appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
A chicken performs dental work on 10-year-old Michael. A woman lights her farts on an airplane. Southwest employees don’t show the love to James. Plus, updates from James and John from the past few months.
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Get all that That Story Show has to offer!
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That Story Show is hosted by James Kennison and John Stiendklauber.
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Send in your funny real-life story today! Submit your story. Call us toll-free: 833-55-STORY.
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The post 454: Henyard Dental appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I’m back! Lots of updates this episode on Christmas, the family and my mental health. Thanks for your patience!
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The post 195: Christmas & The Kia appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
King David made numerous mistakes, but God still chose him, fully aware of his flaws. Can we also expect to receive such divine grace? I believe we can.
The post 5: King David Kills for Lust appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
This week John shares stories about running away, learning to swim, embarrassing himself in front of girls, and more.
Andrew’s typically peaceful sister goes ham on a murderous cat.
And Evel tries to do a backflip off a diving board without knowing how to swim.
All this and more, coming up, on this episode of That Story Show.
The post 453: John’s Inertia appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
My meds are giving me sleep, but keeping me sleepy. It may be time to change some things.
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The post 194: More Sleep – Less Alert appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
This episode we’re joined by the hilarious comedian and actor, Vinnie Coppola as he shares insights about his craft and stories from the road.
The post 452: Vinnie Coppola appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
In this week’s episode, we discuss a comical situation my wife recently encountered, unexpected visitors and the triumph I experienced in fighting my depression. It’s reassuring to see that the strategies I’ve been employing are proving effective, offering promising prospects for the future.
The post 193: Fighting Back appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Is it a sign of failure when uncertainty arises, or is it simply a testament to our need for more than just emotions to have faith? The tale of Thomas suggests otherwise
The post 4: Thomas is my Homeboy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
A late, short update about where I am this week. Nothing fancy. Nothing entertaining. Just me and a mic and my crap.
The post 192: Always Tired appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Audrey and Toby enjoy some peas as a snack, only to discover an unexpected prize inside!
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James:
Hey, podcast people. Welcome back to that story show, episode 4 51, brought to the week of September 28th, 2023. I’m your host. My name is James Kinison. My good friend is here. Hey,
John:
I’m John, and that’s not important. James. You know what? I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m happy to say I’m clean now.
James:
You used to be a
John:
What? I used to be addicted to soap.
James:
You’re clean now. That’s great. That’s good. I just liked the way you paused at the wrong time during that sentence,
John:
What
James:
You did. That was a micro pause. Anyway. No, no. Let’s keep it. Let’s keep it. I like it when accidents happen.
John:
Yeah, just don’t isolate that and just play it over and
James:
Over. No, no, no, no, no.
John:
I used to be a,
James:
No, I wouldn’t do that. And also, I’ve never been tempted to log onto one of those AI voice generators and feed it audio from you, from the podcast and create a fake John. So then I could make you say whatever I want and play it on the podcast. And you could never say it wasn’t really you. I would never do that, and I’ve never been tempted. There we go. Really
John:
Kind of wish you were tempted. I’d like you hear what I would say at your best.
James:
I could make you say anything I wanted. I’m so tempted to though. I so tempted.
John:
So tempted. Oh
James:
Man. Man. Wasn’t Lionel Harris awesome last week?
John:
Yeah, he was a super cool dude.
James:
I miss him. I’ve been kind of chatting back with him this week, and he’s super grateful to have been on the show. He reposted us and all that kind of stuff, and he’s good people.
John:
Yeah, he’s a good guy. I could totally see doing that Again. I know
James:
Every time I am by myself, I feel really stupid about my dream to be a standup comedian, but then when I talk to one of those guys, I feel like these are my people. I could do. I could do this.
John:
They inspire you and give you hope, huh? Yeah.
James:
We always start with an opening story. This is called Sour Squares. It’s from Jenna. It’s a great name. I love that name. It’s my second favorite name in all the world, actually, because my daughter, Jenna from Fenwick, Ontario, she says, as a girl, my mom’s family was very frugal. For example, if she or any of her siblings didn’t finish the plate for supper, they got to eat it as a cold breakfast the next morning. Yeah, I can relate.
John:
My kids might’ve had to do that once or twice.
James:
Yeah. Yeah. Most often, this punishment was only enacted at the picky eaters of the family. My mom was not a very picky eater, so she rarely had to eat cold mashed potatoes for breakfast. However, there was one food that my mom absolutely hated. Date squares. Have you ever heard of this? Have you ever heard of this?
John:
Yeah, I think they’re delicious.
James:
Really? I had never heard of date Squares. Really? It sounds like love connection mixed with Hollywood Squares, like a 60 early seventies TV show.
John:
I’ll take Henry Winkler for the win. For the X.
James:
Exactly.
John:
We’ll go on a date later.
James:
Date Squares.
John:
Date squares.
James:
Her mom made them regularly and packed them as a snack for school lunches. Eventually my mom decided enough was enough she could not eat another Date square again. So from that day forward, every time she found a date square in her lunch bag, she put it in the bottom of her backpack. And there, there’s the doom sound kicking in right there, because if you were smart, you would’ve just thrown it away with your lunch bag. But no, kids aren’t smart, are they, John?
John:
No. Well, no. I wasn’t
James:
Like, my kids used to sneak food out of the pantry when they were little, and they would eat it in the bathroom and then throw the trash in the bathroom. Trash can where they knew the only people in the house that emptied the bathroom trash can where the parents hers, not very wise. I wonder what
John:
This little Debbie wrapper’s doing here.
James:
Yeah. These snack crackers, these little goldfish package. What’s this doing down here? Anyway, I’m sure you can imagine what the bottom of her backpack started to look like and how heavy it started to get,
John:
How sticky it was on the other side. As I recall, those are not dry things.
James:
Yeah. Prune packs, prune squares, squares, whatever. As weeks went on, eventually spring came, so time passed. Eventually it was time for the annual spring cleaning at home, walking into my mom’s room, her mom noticed an odd smell wafting from the closet. She followed her nose. She realized the atrocious smell was coming from my mom’s backpack. She opened the backpack, and that night, instead of eating supper, my mom sat at the table and choked down several months of gooey, mushy, possibly moldy. Date squares. Gosh, I want to throw up Jenna. Hope it makes it on the show. She says, Fenwick Ontario. Goodness gracious.
John:
Wow. Wow. Months old.
James:
Months old.
John:
I can’t even imagine. I can’t even imagine.
James:
So you said you like date squares?
John:
I do, but not with mold
James:
On ’em. They were mentioned in the story as being packed as a snack. Yeah. Not like a vegetable or a main course.
John:
So can you run a little dessert? I
James:
Was about say, run me through what I’m missing here. What’s the flavor and texture? What would she hate about it?
John:
Well, a date is, it’s one of those Mediterranean kind of fruits. They’re dried and you can make all sorts of great stuff out of ’em. But the way that I’ve had my envisioning of a Date Square from what my experience is, it’s likes like a cookie kind of bar. Like a cookie bar. It’s got a cookie kind of bottom, and then there’s the process date, which is like, it’s a gooey sticky
James:
Mess. It sounds horrible. I’m going to be honest. Yeah. Well,
John:
And sometimes they’ll put chopped up nuts in it and then make a cookie kind of thing, like a big cookie and then cut it into squares like you do with brownies or something. Right.
James:
Well, this was a lighter thing. Jenna’s grandmother that was enforcing this and making this, and that was definitely a sign of the times back then. I know my parents were like, you have to clean your plate.
John:
Right? Yeah.
James:
No matter what. That was a big deal.
John:
Got it. Clean. I mean, if all the efforts going into preparing that.
James:
Well, I think it was because of their parents having gone through the Depression era.
John:
Right? Yep. Don’t waste anything. Don’t waste
James:
Anything. There are people starving in China. That’s what it was. Now it’s Africa.
John:
I remember hearing that.
James:
But yeah, China, let’s do some news nuggets. We got a couple of good ones for you today. The Wienermobile is back. Hey, did you know that they even changed the name? They did. I’ve heard that. What was it that they call it? They named it the Frank Mobile.
John:
The Frank Mobile. Yeah.
James:
I’m pretty sure it was to get the word wiener out of there is my guess. But just four months after announcing the Shape or the change, the distinctive Wiener on Wheels is reverting to the original name. And that’s good because Frank Mobile may be more politically correct, but Wienermobile is a lot more fun.
John:
Yeah,
James:
A lot more fun to say. So the Wiener mobile rides, again, the name change was announced by Kraft Heinz Company in May, and it was meant to pay homage to the brands. 100% beat Frank’s and their news recipe. Yeah,
John:
Right. Okay. Yeah, sure. It’s not to get Wiener out of
James:
Name. You were trying to please the five percenters, that wine on social media. That’s what you were trying to do. So Oscar Meyer was headquartered in Wisconsin for nearly a hundred years before it moved to Chicago in 1915. I know the first Wienermobile was created in 1936, and it has gone through several iterations since then, including a naming, a renaming to the Frank Mobile that just doesn’t even roll off the tongue. Right. Frank?
John:
No. Frank Wiener. Have you ever seen it in real life? I’ve
James:
Seen it driving down the highway.
John:
I saw it in Louisville, and it was parked on the side of the road, and we got to walk by it and look at it. We didn’t get to go in it, but there’s, I don’t know, wiener people. I don’t know what they are. They’re the people that take care of it and yeah,
James:
They’re out there answering questions. I can’t know what they’re called, but it’s like dog stirs or dog drivers or something like that. It has to do with hot dogs,
John:
The wiener people. That’s
James:
Terrible. Yeah. But is frank people any better? No, we’re just going to tell you like it is. We’re very frank here, so yeah.
John:
Hey, let’s relish today and catch up tomorrow. Sorry.
James:
No, that was actually not bad. Okay, so the Phillies deny emotional support. Alligator from entering ballpark.
John:
Oh,
James:
All right. Let me just say a disclaimer. I believe in emotional support animals, although I also believe it is taken advantage of quite a bit because all you got to do if you love your dog and don’t want to crate him, is say, oh, he’s an emotional support animal. And suddenly you get to take your dog everywhere you want. And we’ve all seen people like this. There was a lady at the airport the other month, her dogs had sunglasses on, and they were emotional support animals. And I’m like, no, not if they’re wearing sunglasses. They are. It makes me happy
John:
To see him with his sunglasses on.
James:
He’s so cute. And she’s like, don’t pet him. He’s working. I’m like, working on what? It ain’t working on you because you’re mean.
John:
He’s working on his tan.
James:
So a Phillies fan and his emotional support animal, an alligator named Wally Gator were denied entrance to watch the Philadelphia host. Pittsburgh social media posts showed the gator on a leash with a harness with his name on it outside the stadium Wednesday. Wally Gator is a working emotional support alligator owned by Joe Heney of Jonestown, Pennsylvania. The reptile has a big presence on Instagram and TikTok. I bet he does. Citizen bank parks policy on support animals. His posted on the Philly’s official website. It states guide dogs service animals or service animals in training are welcome. All other animals are prohibited. I don’t see that he messed up.
John:
Yeah. Yeah. It doesn’t say anything about service alligators. I mean an
James:
Alligators animal. No, it says animals, service animals. Yeah. Hennessy spoke to Philadelphia Inquirer last year and said that wall a gator helps him battle depression and that he likes to give hugs. Henny also said that the gator has never bitten anyone, yet.
John:
He likes to give hugs with his mouth.
James:
Yeah. I will say this. How does a
John:
Gator give hugs? He’s got legs like two inches
James:
Tall. I know. I don’t know. Maybe he likes to receive them. All I’m going to say is if I am a person that struggles with depression, I have anxiety. I should get a support and freaking, why not? If James Kinison was to have an emotional support animal, it would be a freaking alligator. That would probably be the only thing that would help with my depression would be an alligator or some sort of wolverine or something like that. Something that would maybe kill me in my sleep if I wasn’t watching out for it. It’d keep me on my toes. Hepo constrictor. I don’t have time to be depressed because yeah, this thing might squeeze me to death in my sleep. I got to watch out for Slinky, the snake
John:
Slinky.
James:
And by the way, we’re going to the Chiefs game in Kansas City, and I’m bringing Stinky, slinky the snake with me.
John:
Slinky the snake.
James:
I
John:
Would think you’d want one of those helper monkeys.
James:
Yeah.
John:
Yeah. I feel like I could picture you sitting in the chair there on a Thursday night while we record with that little helper monkey sitting right over your shoulder. Yeah.
James:
And
John:
Every now channels for me.
James:
Me. Is that what they do? Do they slap?
John:
Well, have you ever seen a knight at the museum? Yes. We’ve been still, so remember that monkey and that they Yeah, the little
James:
One
John:
In
James:
Pirate of the Caribbean.
John:
Yeah. Yeah. I think it’s the same actor animal. Yeah. Well, they taught that one to slap, and it’s hilarious. But that’s the kind of monkeys that they use for helper monkeys. They actually will pick things up and carry ’em over to you and stuff like that.
James:
That’s awesome. And
John:
They could be there for emotional support,
James:
But also, if I had a dangerous support animal, it would help me lose weight because I would constantly be having to duck around and run and hide, and it would get my heart rate up every time I saw Wally, the Wolverine creeping behind the trash cans out in the kitchen. So I’m all for emotional support animals. I just think they should be dangerous. All of them
John:
New. Yeah, that’s good. That’s good.
James:
Yeah.
John:
All right,
James:
So let’s do some listener stories. How about that?
John:
Okay.
James:
All right.
John:
To give hugs.
James:
He loves to give hugs.
John:
He loves to give hugs with his teeth. Just
James:
Jump right in there. Don’t mind that open mouth. He also likes to give French kisses, but just stick your face in there. He’s going to clamp down. Don’t mind that. He’s
John:
Always smiling. Wally. The alligator. He’s
James:
Never bit anybody that lived.
John:
All the other people, he bit were jerks, but he’s never bit anybody.
James:
So this week I did something interesting. I went through a lot of our failed theme show ideas.
John:
Oh, yeah.
James:
Yeah. People do send in content for them. Sometimes it goes unused because we run out of room on the show. Sometimes we change the theme like we’ve done recently with fears and Tears, and by the way, we’re doing another theme, our
Speaker 3:
Next theme show only Canada story. All Canada all
James:
The time. That’s right. So Canadians and people who wish they were or have been there, you need to send in your stories to just go to that story show.com, click on submit a story, and you’ll be good to go. But anyway, I picked up a lot of old stories from back in the day that didn’t make it or got left behind, and so it was from a scary theme, like a Halloween theme. So that gives you context for the story, and I’ll try to do that for each one. Some of them are from our recently Discarded Tears and Fears theme that didn’t work out. Alright, so this is called Grave Encounter. Years ago, my great uncle Tom went and bought a plot at the cemetery. While out, he wanted to see his plot while staring at his future resting place, a woman walked over to a grave and Tom looked at her and asked, whose grave are you visiting? My mother’s? She replied, and then she asked, whose grave are you visiting solemnly? He said, my own. And her eyes widened in terror. She did the sign of the cross and bolted out of there. Jed, I Jed.
John:
I’m visiting my own,
James:
My own grave. It’s my own grave. You are also visiting.
John:
You are also visiting. Make sure you drop in on me later. I don’t hope I’m here, but maybe
James:
I do remember going to see my grandfather’s grave, and it was a double wide headstone with my grandmother’s name already engraved in it and not the date. And I remember being like eight eight. And that just freaked me the heck
John:
Out. Yeah. It still freaks me out when I walk by one. Not like I do it often, but seeing them and it’s like, oh man. It’s just waiting for that last date, isn’t it? Yeah. I
James:
Didn’t even know she was going to die. I was too young to even think about it. And then there she is, all prepared. Already got her name written on the board. All they need to do is put a check monarch in a circle around it, and she’s dead.
John:
Did it have nice words about her too already?
James:
No. Thankfully dearest grandmother. Yeah. What if her roles changed somewhere in there? Yeah. She got remarried and things just didn’t work out. Right. Alright, so our next story is from the Tears and Fears genre of
John:
Stories. Oh yes. You’re going to love this. This is a stocking scare from r e p Every Christmas. My family attends various parties, but the one we never miss is the Gathering with our extended family, which includes a lot of relatives. Is this intense yet? It
James:
Is. It is. Man. Relatives are intense.
John:
Yeah. Camping
James:
Is intense. So it’s
John:
Camping? Yes. Okay. Hi-fi boom. My great aunt hosts this annual event and she always fills stockings with gifts for everyone. Since she can’t fit them all by the fireplace, she hangs them from her loft railing throughout the night. As everyone socializes and moves around, they frequently walk under these stockings. The following day, we open the stockings at our own house and my mom discovers a surprise. It’s a kitchen knife. She immediately recognized it as part of the same Costco knife set that we owned. So this knife was sold as part of the set? Not individually, though not confirmed. We strongly suspected that the other knives in the set had been in those very stockings that people were inadvertently bumping into that night. I am sure she meant well, but hanging knives up like missile toe did not make my great aunt great.
James:
I wonder if they were wrapped,
John:
You think? I mean, maybe she was trying to send a message to her niece, you know what? I don’t like you. So this knife, I pulled it out of the drawer,
James:
Stuck it in this box. I like you. I liked you before you had a family, so get rid of them. That’s kind of what I’m getting. No, I just love the idea that the old lady put knives in there. I don’t care if they’re wrapped or not. If one of those things had fallen off, hit somebody in the head, the stocking would just be stuck on their head because this knife would’ve gone through the fabric. I think.
John:
Yeah, just a hanging socket. All the toys and junk would’ve fallen out of the stocking itself. But the sock itself and the knife blade sticking out of the
James:
Injured soul. Yeah. I wonder as she was putting those in, what was running through her head? Probably not a whole lot. She’s a great aunt after all, so that means she’s old. But this’s a
John:
Not so great aunt. According to
James:
Ari, she’s just like, every year I throw this party and there’s more and more people showing up, and
John:
These ungrateful
James:
Solve, we have to thin the herd. We got to thin things out.
John:
I’m going to hang them up here on the loft and see how many get knocked out by it. I can claim
James:
Insanity. That’s right. Let’s do a quick word from our sponsors. Alright, we’re back. This one’s called Chatter Problem, and it is from Audrey and Toby, the homeschool duo. So where does your son go to school? All right. One evening when I was in fourth grade, dinner was a do it yourself night. I wasn’t that hungry, so I started eating some peas. I took a bag of frozen peas from the freezer, and I put ’em in a bowl and nuked them in the microwave for a reasonable amount of time. This is a good child. I’ve never in my life been hungry and be like, you know what? I could go for right now, a freaking serving. A frozen peas.
John:
Frozen peas let
James:
Me nuke them for a reasonable amount of time. But these are homeschooled kids. They’re raised a little different, aren’t they? That’s right. A little better. Some would say
John:
I’m
James:
One. That’s right. When they were done, I sat down and I scooped a bunch of peas up in my spoon. I tossed them in my mouth, but not a moment sooner. I glanced into my bowl looking for juicy peas to eat up, and then I saw a weird looking pee. I scooped it up. I took a look at it, and then I screamed. I screamed so loud. Don’t play the chaos. Sound effect. Okay. All right.
I screamed so loud that my mom ran into the room frantically asking what was wrong. My voice was so squeaky. I sounded like I an inhaled helium. There’s a caterpillar in my peas. I don’t know why I made her sing it. There’s a caterpillar in my peas. A caterpillar in my peas. Please, please take it out. There’s a caterpillar in my peas. That’s gross. Taylor Swift’s new number one single caterpillar in my peas. I started sobbing hysterically. See, that’s why you got to toughen up your homeschool kids. That’s right. Should be no tears in this situation. What if there were more caterpillars in the bag? What if I had eaten one of them? Okay, so maybe some tears aren’t necessary. Later that night, we contacted the company and they said that they would only compensate us if we had the bag. But who would keep a bag full of Caterpillar peas? To this day, I’ve never eaten Kroger brand frozen peas. That story shows name shaming, sponsored by Kroger,
John:
Not a
James:
Sponsor. And when I do eat frozen peas, I check all the peas. That’s a job right there. That’s a commitment. That means she was truly, truly hurt. I recommend you also check out your piece for legal reasons. Hope it makes it on the show. Audrey and Toby, the homeschool duo. PS your show is five stars every time. Thank you.
John:
Thank you, Audrey and Toby. Thank you. Check out your piece for legal reasons,
James:
Man. I
John:
Would think you’d check out your peas for health reasons.
James:
Yeah. I just think though, you should be able to buy a bag of peas and not have to worry about bugs being in ’em. Call me crazy.
John:
Yep. Yep. I’ve seen many a video on the old internet here and people washing their strawberries and stuff and finding little bugs. Throw
James:
’em off. Little bugs. Yeah. Apparently those little bugs are on everything though. Not just strawberries, and they’re part of our nutrition.
John:
They’re good for us. I mean, I figure ignorance is bliss, right?
James:
Yeah. Just eat the strawberry.
John:
Just eat the strawberries.
James:
Just like the shrimp. People start freaking out. When I was a kid, the little brown stripe stayed. We just figured it was his backbone or his nervous system. It wasn’t until years later and thousands of pounds of shrimp later that we found out, oh, that’s shrimp poop right there.
John:
That’s the poop shoot goes right down the back. I didn’t know that either. Yeah, I didn’t know that.
James:
So now that I know, it kind of ruined it for me.
John:
Yeah. You feel like you have to scrape it out
James:
Now? Well, now I go to places that do it for me.
John:
I gotcha. Yeah,
James:
And most of the places seem to do it, so it’s not a big deal.
John:
But this is bald. If that shrimp’s bald, it’s going to be in there. Man,
James:
I will tell you this. When I was in second grade in elementary school as at lunch, and the lunch came, I don’t know what it was, but it had a small salad in one of the sectioned off areas. You know how
John:
Trays
James:
Used to be? Yeah.
John:
Trays with all the squares on ’em?
James:
Yeah. I don’t even know what they’re like now, but the plastic,
John:
The same
James:
Trays though. They are. We got ’em. Anyway, I ate the piece of lettuce off the top and daggone. There wasn’t a caterpillar sitting up underneath that second piece of lettuce. I was like, this was before you could sue people or graze a fuss. So me being a kid, I was just like, Hey, everybody. Look, I got a caterpillar on my C salad. Yay. Yay. We have a school pet. I wasn’t the brightest duck in the pond. So yeah, I was just happy. I was just happy I didn’t eat the rest of the salad.
John:
Oh, good for you.
James:
But I think I did tell the monitor, the people that were watching over lunch lady. No, just the monitor. There’d always be people
John:
Walking. Oh, they would beat you up probably. Yeah,
James:
She would’ve. She’s like, that’s
John:
My emotional support caterpillar. You put that thing
James:
Back. That’s squiggly wiggly.
John:
Squiggly wiggly.
James:
Don’t you see the little tiny harness? You see you with his name on it? I dare
John:
You call that thing dirty.
James:
That’s my baby. That’s my baby right there. Okay, so this next story that John’s going to read is called Terrible Tears, and I just want to mention in context of tears and fears, it’s somebody being brought to tears in a drastic way.
John:
In a drastic way. Yeah.
James:
So hit us
John:
With it. I like the story. I think everybody will like this too. Good. This comes from brief in Ames, Iowa. I am currently a freshman in high school, but this story happened in around third grade. I’m the oldest sibling in my family, and I have one sister and three brothers. We live on a farm and usually have a couple of outside farm cats to help with our mouse problem. My sister loves our cats, and one of her chores is to feed the cats and our dog. A few days before this story takes place, our oldest cat pumpkin had died. Aw. My parents and I took turns feeding the animals so that my sister wouldn’t notice. However, that day, at fateful day, she fed the animals while we were waiting for the bus. I was standing out there with her and she turns to me and says, where’s pumpkin? As a third grader, I did not have any filters. So I look her directly in the eyes and I say, quite bluntly, pumpkin’s dead. My sister,
James:
She
John:
Burst into tears and I got a scolding from my parents who insisted I should have had more tact. Yes, I’ve met a lot of third graders that have a lot of
James:
Tact. None. They don’t even know what that is. What’s tact? Is that what you
John:
Hang the stuff up on? The
James:
Corkboard? Well, yes it is. Yes. I got lots of tacts.
John:
I just as firmly insisted that I couldn’t have had said anything else. What do you want me to do? Lie. I know better now, but back then, I firmly believe that was my only option. Anyway, I hope it makes it on the show. Worst. Pumpkin James? My emotional support
James:
Cat. Oh, he’s dead. No pumpkin. I don’t know why they thought they could keep it from her. And then also, who gets scolded these days? Scolded. We were scolded quite.
John:
He’s a freshman in high school, so I mean, yeah. Yeah.
James:
This is from 2023. Who gets scolded? I don’t even think that word is in the dictionary anymore. When
John:
You live on a farm, I think that word actually is part of your regular. Yeah.
James:
Yeah. You get a good scold,
John:
Scolding.
James:
Whenever I kind of get confused or maybe I store it in the same part of my brain as scouring like a pot or something. So getting or
John:
Scalding
James:
Scolded. Yeah. Or scalding. Yeah, scalding hot. It’s just all kind of mixed together. To me. They, they’re puking lava on you and then feels washing you out with a Brillo pad. I got
John:
Scolded again.
James:
I got scolded and scoured all at one time. It’s great. Thanks, Bri, whatever your name is Bri.
John:
Bri.
James:
This is a fire drill. Fun by Ryan Goose. Gru. I did it.
John:
I am Bruner
James:
From Newburyport, Maine,
John:
Massachusetts.
James:
Oh, yeah. Okay.
John:
Maine is me. This is Ma. I think that’s Massachusetts. Yeah.
James:
It’s not Maine. You’re right.
John:
No, that’s md.
James:
You’re right. You’re right. I’m just going to edit it out and make it like I said it the first time. Newbury Port Maine. Crap.
I give up. This story takes place a few weeks ago at my school during a fire drill. It happened to be in lunch when this fire drill occurred, so expected people brought their lunch with them to eat whilst the drill carried on. My school is nuts and has some discipline issues. So the fire drill is going on and the whole school is getting in rows on the football field for about five minutes before mayhem breaks out. Soon after teens being teens, they are starting to run around, which is not supposed to happen. This all turns bad when one kid who hates this misbehavior tosses a part of his sandwich at another kid. Exclamation point. The kid then revolts by taking his friend’s orange and chucking it right at the kid, the first kid. I’m sure you can tell where this is going. Yes. The whole school had a food fight during the fire drill.
John:
Nice.
James:
Needless to say, the fire drill went on for a lot longer than planned due to the addition of a talk from the principal.
John:
This is why we don’t have fire drills anymore.
James:
Can’t have nothing around here. You and your emotional support. Orange.
John:
Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. This is Massachusetts after. All right.
James:
You guys are getting a scolding.
John:
That’s right. Whilst eating your lunch, see,
James:
I’m going to scold you. Greasy high school food and homemade sandwiches covered the football field and Oh, no. And still at this moment, you can probably still find a slice of Turkey or two lying around. That’s gross from Newburyport, Maine,
John:
Still Maine. He’s up there somewhere in one of those
James:
Northern states. I n e. What is it? Shouldn’t be m e Massachusetts. All right, fine. Whatever.
John:
Mass. If that were to happen here at my school, you would not only get a talking to from the principal, but the athletic director would come out because we have one of those turf fields,
James:
And they’re
John:
Very particular about what goes on in those turf fields. They don’t even want Gatorade out there because you pour it on the ground and it gets stuck in the turf, and you got to be careful what you put on the turf field, right?
James:
Yeah, absolutely. Just no peeing in the grass over there. Nope. So PEA’s off the limit. You
John:
Say
James:
Gatorades off the list,
John:
Probably no candy
James:
At all. Oh, no candy,
John:
No
James:
Chocolate
John:
Would be bad. No high heels. You have a fit. You wear high heels out on the field, man, I don’t know why anybody would do that, but there’s a sign, no high
James:
Heels, no playing soccer and high heels.
John:
Yeah.
James:
Okay. Well, I’m glad they got it figured out. I’m glad there’s rules in place. That’s what keeps us safe from emotional support animals and stuff like that. Right.
John:
They should have a sign out there that says, no alligators on the field that way. Just in case. Wally the Gator. Wally Gator shows up. Yeah. Well, James Wyman sent us a peach of a story Peach. Would you call that? I don’t know. It’s a great story. This is wiper. Wow. Wiper. Wow. Sounds like a infomercial. Yeah. Damn. Wow. Vince was slap chop. Didn’t he do that? Yes,
James:
He did. Slap Chop and ShamWow. Yeah,
John:
And Sham. Wow, that guy. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Anyways, summer was coming to an end here in Oregon, which only means nine months of rain was headed our way. It only means that James only summer comes to an end. Yeah. The wiper blades on our car were old and worn. So off to the auto parts store. I went being from Rainy, Oregon, Oregon. Oregon, Oregon. How do you pronounce that? I’ve always wondered. It’s a state.
James:
It’s pronounced Maine. Most states are.
John:
Yeah.
James:
Yeah.
John:
Organ. I don’t even know. Organ. Oh, Orgon. Now I’m really confused. Anyways, I’m, or
James:
Being from Origi
John:
Now, the word looks weird now. I’ve looked at it so long. It looks like it’s like a alien planet or something. It’s
James:
Two letters from Oreo. I’ll just say that
John:
Now. I’ve really messed it up.
That’s what I’m going to call it. Orgon. Okay. Being from rainy Orgon, James, correct me later. James Wyman. I normally buy higher end wipers as they will be used a lot. But that day I was feeling a little thrifty, a little thrifty. I bought the cheapest wiper blades I could find. I opened them up and threw away the packaging and the receipt and installed them right there in the parking lot. Well, later that day, it just so happened to rain. So I thought, it’s time to test these babies out, and oh my gosh, they so fucked. That’s how he spelled it.
James:
Yeah. Yeah. All caps.
John:
All caps. I guess I should have shouted it, but I didn’t want my mic to clip. So anyways, they streaked and smeared water across the winter so badly. I could actually see it easier if I didn’t use them.
James:
Oh, boy. That’s awful
John:
Kind of wipe. It’s not a wiper. It’s more like a window smear. I was upset. So I returned to the parts store quickly, and luckily the cashier recognized me and said I could return them without the receipt. So I marched out to the car to remove those crappy, cheap wipers, and that’s when I finally noticed the semit translucent covers on the plate. I took them off and gave the window another test wipe, and guess what?
James:
They worked.
John:
Now, this is where I would not have, I would’ve just left. But James Wyman, being a man of humility, I walked back into the store and talked to the cashier and admitted, he says, I admitted my stupidity. The cashier tries to make me feel better by saying that he has had people return car batteries only to find out that the batteries work much better if you remove the plastic covers that are on the terminal. Oh, yeah.
James:
Yeah.
John:
James says, I still felt dumb, but not dumb enough to not share it on the show.
James:
Oh, yeah. That’s close enough to I want to be on the show.
John:
Yeah. I hope it makes it,
James:
I was pretty dumb, but not dumb enough for your show. So how many stories are you guys keeping to yourself? Too dumb. All you have to do is send them anonymously and we will read them. If you’re too ashamed. It’s like a confession. We’ll share them with the world.
John:
It’s good. It’s like a confession. It makes you feel better telling the world and nobody knows. That’s right. And if you wanted to say, you know what? I had a story. Make it on as awesome podcast, and then you could share it that way and say, that was me. Yeah, you could totally do
James:
That. Totally. And you would be a happier man for it. Happier man. And you wouldn’t maybe need an emotional support animal.
John:
An emotional support Caterpillar.
James:
An emotional support podcast. That’s what you need.
John:
Yeah. That’s what we
James:
Do. We can be that for you today. Now we got some middle school drama.
This is from Braden, of course. It’s from a Braden, Prairie Grove, Arkansas,
Braden. Hello, James. And John, I would like to tell you a story the has to do with me, my mom in a dark room where my mom was sleeping at night. Oh, it started when I first went to bed and fell asleep after four hours of sleeping. I woke up at midnight. I felt thirsty. So I went to ask my mom if I could get a drink. So I went over and just stared at her hoping she would wake up and not be mad. Sadly, she had an air freshener that glowed red. She awoke and screamed, definitely terrified of me just staring. Then she yelled, I could accidentally punch you, but it worked out in the end. PS I am in middle school. Brayden,
John:
I could have accidentally punched
James:
You, but it worked out in the end. It worked out in the end. I didn’t get punched. I got my drink. I got my drink on. I got to go back to bed. Why would you need to ask? Why would you need to ask? How tight of a hole does your parent have on you? Yeah. Helicopter mom much.
John:
If you get out of bed in the middle of the night, you must wake me up. Wake me up so I can get you a drink
James:
Of water. See, my daughter would do this. She would wake up from a nightmare and she wouldn’t want to disturb anybody. So she’d go to her mom’s side of the bed and just stand there and stare like paranormal activity for hours, hours. And my wife would eventually wake up and then scream her blooming head off, waking me up and everybody else, and my daughter starts crying. It was just terrible. And then my mom, here’s what Jen did. Jen would just say, get a blanket and lay it down beside the bed. And so let’s put the daughter who was scared of the dark. Let’s put her down near the monster that’s under our bed. She could be eye to eye with them. Boots under your bed. So she got no love. No, come on in the covers, nothing. If she had come over to my side, I’d have been all about it. I’d baby do I need to come tuck you in? I’ll lay down with you until you fall asleep. This, that, and the other. But they never knew that about me. They just instinctively went to their mother for this love that just didn’t exist. My wife was not the most nurturing mother. I was the nurturer, but they never came around to my side. They were too scared of the big fat man of the bed. So I snored a lot too. So that might’ve had something to do with it. Anyway, I was having
John:
Scary dreams about snores.
James:
We got some announcements. Hats are available on Etsy. Have you heard about these? Have you heard about ’em? They’re even available in Maine. Really? All the way up there. And if you really want to, when you buy one, I’ll take a marker and write emotional support cap on. There you go. Yeah. For extra or for free? For free. Absolutely. For free. Oh yeah. They’re $20. I ship ’em to you. They get to your house, you get a tracking number and everything. It’s great. So subscribe. You
John:
Should write puns on the inside of ’em, like I got you covered, or something
James:
Like that. You know what? I looked up some slang terms that my kids use, and I found out what no cap means. Have you ever heard of that?
John:
Yeah. No
James:
Cap. Do you know what it means?
John:
It means no crap.
James:
Well, it means no lie. It means it’s
John:
The truth. No
James:
Lie. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s cap. That’s cap. So now I want to make a TikTok. That’s me as an old man, old men using cool words. And I want to say that’s a cool cap. No cap.
John:
That’s a cool cap. No cap. So
James:
It’d be funny. Anyway, if you subscribe to that story show on YouTube, you can become my favorite person.
John:
How?
James:
Just by subscribing on YouTube to that story show’s YouTube channel at youtube.com/at James w Kenon.
John:
Yeah. Oh, it’s not
James:
At That story changed. We changed it.
John:
Oh, really? Yeah. James w Kenon. S o n.
James:
Yeah. Check it out. And we do shorts twice a week, and we’re going to start posting clips from our podcasts. It’ll be a lot of fun. Check it out. And
John:
Then you ever wondered what we look like? You can find out on that.
James:
True. If you don’t want to know what we look like, we both look like John.
John:
Yeah. What? No, that’s not a good
James:
Thing. We’re both attractive men in our mid forties. So
John:
Yeah, that’s it. I look like the rock, just in case. You never even want to find out. I am as strong as the Rock, but I have a face that looks better than his.
James:
Right. And I look like Tom Holland.
John:
Tom Holland with a very deep, deep, handsome young man.
James:
And I’m not British, but I look British. Whatever that means with good teeth. We do have a theme show coming up.
The time. All right. We know you’re there, Canada. We know you listen because you send in your stuff. So whether you’re a young person, a middle person, or old, old, old person, get on that story show and click on submit a story and send it in. We want, it doesn’t have to be about Canada, we just want Canadian people. Okay. Now, if it is about Canada, that’s great, and you’re not a Canadian, send it in.
John:
But double bonus,
James:
We just want a Canada themed show. Okay. I hope that spells it out for you. This podcast is possible because of our members who support us, even though they don’t have to get that story show premium, which includes ad free listening swag, and a weekly bonus podcast called Stuff that Didn’t Fit On the Show. Try it out for seven days free. Yeah. patreon.com/that story show. We had a guy sign up just today, actually.
Really? Yeah. His name is Nick. So thank you Nick and Heather, thank you for signing up to our membership program and supporting the show. Special thanks to our producers, James Spangler, Carrie Wright and Christopher Tynan. And that is all we’ve got for today. Shirley, you have a funny life story. You need to send it into this show so we can read it, submit your story at that story show. Call it in toll free, eight three three five five s t o r y. And while you’re there, join our mailing list and remember hilarious stories. We’ve all got one. So you need to share yours on that story show. We’ll see you guys next week. Bye, John. Glad James.
The post 451: Catterproblem appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
In this episode, we delve into a range of topics close to home. We’ll explore family updates, take a look at my health journey, and dive into my current entertainment preferences in terms of what I’m watching and reading. However, the central theme we’ll be exploring is the idea of achieving “Good Enough” in various aspects of life – from being a parent and a spouse to managing a podcast. Join me as we reflect on this concept and how it resonates with me personally.
Member Bonus Content
The post 191: Good Enough appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
This week Comedian Lionel Harris blesses us with his stories and humor. Sandy Patty is a stumbling block for James. John has to ask forgiveness after reading a story about soccer balls.
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James Kennison:
Welcome to that Story Show, where side.
James Kennison:
Splitting real life anecdotes steal the stage.
James Kennison:
In today’s episode, we’re in for a.
James Kennison:
Treat as we welcome the talented comedian Lionel Harris II.
James Kennison:
Prepare yourself for a healthy dose of middle school drama and brace yourself for Clay’s unforgettable tale about how dolphins played.
James Kennison:
A surprising role in the disappearance of his swimsuit.
James Kennison:
All this and more coming up on.
James Kennison:
This episode of that Story Show. We’ll be right back.
James Kennison:
Hey, podcast people. Welcome back to that Story Show episode.
James Kennison:
450, brought to you the week of September 21, 2023. I’m your host.
James Kennison:
My name is James Kennison, and my.
James Kennison:
Good friend is here. Hey, James. I’m John.
John Steinklauber:
Everybody knows that. But I got to tell you something. I accidentally took my cat’s medications last night.
James Kennison:
Oh, no.
John Steinklauber:
Don’t ask meow. I hate that joke. I won’t use it ever again.
James Kennison:
I’m sorry. Thank you.
James Kennison:
Thank you.
James Kennison:
That is the best thing about your.
James Kennison:
Jokes, is we only have to hear them once per episode.
John Steinklauber:
There’s actually other people’s jokes that creative.
James Kennison:
Today we have a special guest. His name is Lyle Harris. He is an award winning filmmaker, comedian. His comedic style is centered around life.
James Kennison:
Stories, which is kind of what we.
James Kennison:
Do, and observational humor. He’s a regular on drybire comedy. He has a new special, Rent a.
James Kennison:
Friend on Drybire comedy.
James Kennison:
He’s done commercials, people. Some of his credits include Steve Harvey’s Stand Up Spotlight, Laugh After Dark, and comedy festivals around the country.
James Kennison:
He is going to be in Gloucester.
James Kennison:
Virginia, on September 20. Yeah. And Waldorf What’s, MD.
John Steinklauber:
Maryland.
James Kennison:
Maryland, on October 21. Let’s welcome actor, camera operator, cinematographer, comedian, content creator, director, editor, filmmaker, music, composer, producer, screenwriter, videographer his name. Yes, ladies and gentlemen is lionel Harris. Welcome to the show.
Lionel Harris:
Thank you. Thank you very know that sounds exaggerated, but all those credits actually are.
Lionel Harris:
Makes.
Lionel Harris:
Me think I need a back with you guys because it was some rest, some shut eye.
John Steinklauber:
Yeah, I’m tired just thinking about it.
James Kennison:
Well, hopefully this show will be a rest to you. You can just unplug lay back and.
James Kennison:
Just enjoy your time with us today.
Lionel Harris:
I’m camera operating right now.
Lionel Harris:
I have yeah.
James Kennison:
I do know that you have to.
John Steinklauber:
Do all of those whenever you work for a church in their media, except for the comedian part. They don’t expect that out of you.
James Kennison:
But no, they don’t want jokes. They just want their sound to work.
John Steinklauber:
Yeah, they do. Yeah, all that stuff.
James Kennison:
All right, we always start with an opening story. This one’s from Sam.
James Kennison:
No, it’s from Austin Fraser.
James Kennison:
About a week ago, me and my family were watching the Titanic movie.
James Kennison:
Now, before I go on, I need to tell you that the youngest in the family is ten I’m 13. And then there’s a 1517 and eight year old. So that was all of us, the whole family, plus my parents. It was right before the inappropriate scene.
John Steinklauber:
Which scene is that?
James Kennison:
Draw me like one of your French girls.
James Kennison:
So my mother picked up the remote and tried unsuccessfully to skip it by.
James Kennison:
Vigorously pressing the skip button.
James Kennison:
Unfortunately, the remote stopped working right when let’s just say the image on the.
James Kennison:
Screen was a complete shot that was.
James Kennison:
Definitely rated R. And that shot was.
James Kennison:
On the screen for two whole minutes. It could have been a magical moment, except my grandmother was in the room. Austin Fraser at home school getting that home school education.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, jeez.
James Kennison:
Now, the only reason why I read that is because my mother had a.
James Kennison:
Copy, two VHS tapes of the movie. It got to have two of them.
James Kennison:
When it got to the naked part.
James Kennison:
She had recorded over it with whatever was on the TV at the time.
James Kennison:
And whatever was on the TV at.
James Kennison:
The time was TBN trinity Broadcasting Network.
James Kennison:
And what was on TBN was Sandy Patty singing really loud with one arm.
James Kennison:
Raised in the air, just praising Jesus.
James Kennison:
And so here we are watching the movie together. The camera is crawling up her leg.
James Kennison:
You’re just getting a little bit excited. I’m about to see something I’m not supposed to see, and all of a sudden, Sandy Patty.
James Kennison:
So now I’m all confused.
James Kennison:
I’m 50 years old, and I get turned on by Sandy Patty.
James Kennison:
Oh, no.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, you didn’t.
John Steinklauber:
What do you mean?
James Kennison:
I like Sandy Patty a lot more than I’m supposed to. She’s like 90 years old now.
John Steinklauber:
But anyway no, she’s not. She’s still in her 30s forever.
James Kennison:
In my mind, she is that big poofy hairdo back in the 80s.
James Kennison:
Absolutely.
James Kennison:
Our guest today, of course, is our main focus today.
James Kennison:
I want to do a brief interview, if we could.
James Kennison:
Let me ask you this. What got you into stand up?
Lionel Harris:
Well, I started out as a filmmaker as you lifted from the credit, and I was making comedic films, and we started winning awards. We did this competition called the 48 Hours Film Festival. Yeah, you have to make a film in 48 hours where they give you everything on the spot, line of dialogue, character, prop. They give it to you right there. And you got to make a film in 48 hours. So we did this, and I was writer and director for it, and we ended up getting an audience favorite and doing well. It was like a pattern. I did that, and then I went on to start doing sketch comedy, and I realized I was telling other people how to be funny, if you will.
Lionel Harris:
And I was like, well, maybe I should step out and try it myself. People have been telling me for so.
Lionel Harris:
Long, hey, man, maybe you should go do it. Maybe you should go do it. But to be honest, I was afraid, man.
Lionel Harris:
I don’t know another way to say it.
Lionel Harris:
I was scared.
Lionel Harris:
I was scared to do stand up. Took me a long time after I.
Lionel Harris:
Made the decision, to be honest, the.
Lionel Harris:
First time didn’t go so great.
James Kennison:
Yeah. So what was your first stage?
Lionel Harris:
Well, see, when I really started, when I really decided to go for it, it went well. Just the first time I tried it, it didn’t go so well.
Lionel Harris:
Friend of mine was a musician.
Lionel Harris:
He had produced the album for an artist, asked me to host the party, the album release party. He’s like, you’re funny, man.
Lionel Harris:
You could be an MC.
Lionel Harris:
I mean, in theory, yeah, I am funny. And I went to host this party and it was like in a noisy bar night spot. I couldn’t get anybody’s attention. So I died a thousand deaths. So I was like, okay, I’m going to try it again because I’m brave. Good. I did it again. I had a friend of mine that.
Lionel Harris:
Wanted me he was a pastor and.
Lionel Harris:
He wanted me to perform at an event his church had. Now I’m not as sexy as Sandy.
Lionel Harris:
Patty. So I had to use, you know.
Lionel Harris:
What I’m saying, the gift of gap.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
But again, it was a similar situation. It was like we were in this place with very poor acoustics. Like the reverb was so loud. You ever have like, a microphone, you hear volume, but you can’t distinguish what the person is saying?
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Like in a gym or something.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, so it sounded like that. So I didn’t know any of this all the time, but the whole time I’m up there sweating and everybody’s like, we can’t hear you.
Lionel Harris:
And it took all my courage to.
Lionel Harris:
Even get up there and try it again.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
It took me two years after that.
Lionel Harris:
To be like, I’m like, I’m not doing this anymore because my family was there, which makes it worse. Bombing in the privacy of an open mic is one thing, but bombing in.
Lionel Harris:
Front of your friends and family, that’s goodness. Yeah. So it took me two whole years.
Lionel Harris:
But when I did, I was actually working. I was out in La. I was inspired by what I was working on. So I was like, you know what, I’m going to go back and try it again. I went to a club out there in Burbank and tried a mic and did well. I was like, OK, let me go another. Yeah, it’s called Popular Club out there, too. It’s one of the only ones.
Lionel Harris:
Why can’t I think of the name of it right now?
James Kennison:
Because I have.
John Steinklauber:
That’s why.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, it’s going to come to me later.
James Kennison:
That way I’m going to shout it.
John Steinklauber:
Out whenever it happens.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, that’s what’s going to happen. So I went to another mic in West Hollywood with a friend of mine, and then the host was know like he was trying to get me a date. Like, when are you coming back? And that just put me on a.
Lionel Harris:
High I never came down from.
Lionel Harris:
So that was my Sandy Patty is what I’m saying. It’s forever.
Lionel Harris:
30 years old that night.
John Steinklauber:
That’s right.
James Kennison:
Somewhere you once said that the most.
James Kennison:
Talented people aren’t on the highest stages. It’s those with perseverance. So tell me about the power of not quitting.
Lionel Harris:
I think it’s like some kind of law, man. I mean, see, when you get into this kind of thing and now it’s so controversial, I don’t want to make the interview weird, but, I mean, this is where your core beliefs come into play.
Lionel Harris:
Okay.
Lionel Harris:
So I do believe in God. I do believe there is a God.
James Kennison:
You’re in good company.
Lionel Harris:
So I believe that if you consistently press, if you consistently are attempting to knock down a door or get into.
Lionel Harris:
A room, eventually something has to happen. Something’s going to break.
Lionel Harris:
That old drop in the bucket adage.
Lionel Harris:
Eventually it’s going to overflow, it’s going to fill up.
Lionel Harris:
And I believe that’s the power of perseverance. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result. But I also think it’s the same definition for success.
Lionel Harris:
You got to be a little crazy.
Lionel Harris:
Because you got to keep going and.
Lionel Harris:
Expect a different result in the face of rejection over and over.
Lionel Harris:
And comedy is full of rejection goodness.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I kind of have a heart.
James Kennison:
For wanting to do comedy. And I’m terrified. I’m terrified. I can do this all day. I can be on a microphone all day, but I’m not in front of a live audience know, I’m not there when they laugh or when they don’t know. So it’s funny. I’m doing an improv class, actually trying to warm myself up to being on a stage in front of people. So anyway, your message about Perseverance hits home.
James Kennison:
John, what were you going to say?
John Steinklauber:
Well, I think Perseverance isn’t that the name of your cologne that you were marketing? You said you have a safe face and you were talking about your videos.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, no, responsibility is the name of my responsibility.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
Is it flappers?
Lionel Harris:
I think that’s the name of the club in Burbank.
James Kennison:
Oh, there we go.
John Steinklauber:
All right, I’m going to look it up right now.
James Kennison:
Now all the people at home can breathe easy.
James Kennison:
There we go.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, but no, it’s responsibility is the.
Lionel Harris:
Name of the globe.
James Kennison:
Responsibility.
John Steinklauber:
Yeah. Perseverance can be your second line, if necessary. That might be like Perseverance to me.
James Kennison:
So what would you say is the.
James Kennison:
Overall purpose of your comedy? What motivates you to do what you do?
Lionel Harris:
Man, I do it because I loved it and I did it, and I continue to do it because I love it. And now I try to have in my mind at this stage, after doing it, for a while is to keep in my mind that I’m making people forget about their problems for 20 minutes, 30 minutes, depending on what kind of set I’m doing. But for during that time, people, if they’re connected with me, they’re present, they’re not thinking, they’re not worrying, you know what I mean? I’m offering something to people, and now everybody’s so heavy with an array of things right now. You name it, it’s on somebody’s mind.
James Kennison:
True.
Lionel Harris:
So if I can be the guy that’s offering something or an escape, you know what I mean, that’s positive, then, yeah, that’s why I do it now. That’s me trying to have that intention.
James Kennison:
Right.
Lionel Harris:
I’ve always enjoyed making people laugh. It was a lot easier when it’s a difference between me walking into a room and making someone laugh, which I’ve always been confident I can do, versus when you’re introduced as someone who’s supposed to make someone laugh.
James Kennison:
Right.
Lionel Harris:
That’s different. Embracing that and doing that for some time, it’s like, yeah, you got to have things to motivate yourself, to keep going. If I could quit, I would.
Lionel Harris:
But I can’t.
James Kennison:
That’s awesome. You done done it so much.
James Kennison:
This is all you could do.
Lionel Harris:
It’s not all, but no.
James Kennison:
Matter of fact, speaking of all, I know you’re working on a podcast.
James Kennison:
Tell us a little bit about that.
Lionel Harris:
Okay, so you see the shirt I got on? It says joke a day. When I first started in comedy, what a backstory is, I actually tried to.
Lionel Harris:
Apply to be a writer on a late night show.
James Kennison:
Oh.
Lionel Harris:
I never got the rejection. It was like I put my application in in June or July, and I kept calling back, and it was like, you’re still in the running. You’re still in the running. You’re still in the running. And the after months, maybe around September, I found out that I didn’t get it, but I thought I was like, man, was I close, or did they.
Lionel Harris:
Just not review what happened?
Lionel Harris:
I didn’t know what it was, right? But it put a fire under me.
Lionel Harris:
And I was like, you know what? I’m going to write a joke every.
Lionel Harris:
Day for a year, and I’m going.
Lionel Harris:
To put it online and perform.
Lionel Harris:
I was like, Then I won’t be.
Lionel Harris:
Able to be ignored.
Lionel Harris:
You know what I mean?
Lionel Harris:
That was my attitude.
Lionel Harris:
So I did I did it. It was a challenge to myself where I performed online a joke every day.
Lionel Harris:
For a year just to challenge myself.
Lionel Harris:
And see if I could do this. And I called a joke a day, and I took that. I got a lot of respect from comedians in the area, even if I wasn’t necessarily the cup of tea there’s like, man, your work ethic. People gave me respect off that. So then I used that to start producing shows. I had some branding things, and then recently I realized the state of comedy. Now you really need to have a following. There’s no way around it.
Lionel Harris:
And I mean, people are getting booked who don’t know how to do stand up because they have a following. And I was like, I know it’s a crowded space. So I hesitated. I was like, I’m going to take this Joke A Day thing, this brand, and I’m going to start the Joke a Day podcast. And basically what I’m doing is interviewing comics. And then the one thing that we try to do every episode is workshop something live. They have new material that they want to work on. Me and my co hosts will give them suggestions and we’ll riff and try to help them get it ready for the stage at the end of the Ever.
Lionel Harris:
And that’s basically the premise of the show.
James Kennison:
That sounds amazing. And when will that get started? Or I’m sure it’s in the works.
Lionel Harris:
But when will I’m hoping to release before Christmas.
John Steinklauber:
Okay.
Lionel Harris:
What I’m doing.
Lionel Harris:
Okay, so look, I know that nobody’s going to care after a couple of.
Lionel Harris:
Weeks, but here’s the thing.
Lionel Harris:
What I’m trying to do is record the entire season before I start releasing. And I’m halfway through the season now, okay? So I made it halfway. So I know I have episodes, but I don’t want to start releasing them until I know I can almost automate the release process so people know they’re going to get an episode every week for at least eight to ten weeks.
James Kennison:
No, there’s wisdom in that.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
John Steinklauber:
Something to look forward to.
James Kennison:
You might just have to come back on around Christmas time and promote that podcast.
Lionel Harris:
I’m hoping next month, honestly.
James Kennison:
Oh, really?
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, I’m hoping next month, but I’m just saying that under Promise over delivered.
James Kennison:
Right?
Lionel Harris:
Right.
James Kennison:
I want to listen to that show. I don’t know about John, but that sounds like my kind of show.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
I appreciate it. Thank you.
James Kennison:
I’ll be looking forward to that. What are some of your best memories from your journey as a comedian?
Lionel Harris:
Best memories?
Lionel Harris:
Well, like I said when I started, that’s really one of my favorites, just because I needed that high, because there’s so many ups and downs in comedy. Like you need something to hold on to, to anchor you, to keep you from quitting early on. I’ve seen a lot of people start and stop, and honestly, I haven’t even been doing it that long by a lot of standards of people who are really comedy vets.
Lionel Harris:
For me, it’s been seven years this year.
Lionel Harris:
Most other people I’ve watched the interview say it takes ten to be great.
Lionel Harris:
You know what I mean?
Lionel Harris:
So I don’t know. I got three more to go, but so far I still in this amount of time, I’ve seen people start and stop.
Lionel Harris:
So that would be one. Another one would be, yes, persistence Perseverance, the new cologne.
Lionel Harris:
But I got to say I got a recent one I headlined at Home for the first time.
Lionel Harris:
I hadn’t done that.
Lionel Harris:
And my dad got to be there, and he came on the night that I did well, because Friday night was but Saturday was like it was explosive. And I mean, I felt really good about it.
Lionel Harris:
And he was there that night, but.
Lionel Harris:
I was like, thank God he didn’t have to see me again because the I’d have to quit for another two years.
Lionel Harris:
I was like, I’m not doing this.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, that would have been terrible. But just doing good in front of your friends and family is added pressure because I kind of, like, famously refuse to perform at family functions. I don’t want to bomb in front.
Lionel Harris:
Of no, you know what I mean? No, that’s not where it’s at, man.
John Steinklauber:
Got to hang it up after that. Your family doesn’t find you funny then?
Lionel Harris:
Exactly.
Lionel Harris:
It’s like you’re too familiar.
Lionel Harris:
So it’s like what I do in.
Lionel Harris:
A normal club or a show, they’re.
James Kennison:
Going to like, well, didn’t like Jesus say something about that? Where a prophet gets no respect in his own home?
Lionel Harris:
Like I said, I just said I.
Lionel Harris:
Had life for the first time in my hometown.
Lionel Harris:
That was this month.
Lionel Harris:
Being on the road and doing it and then can’t get it at home, it was tough. But I got to understand the journey. Everybody’s journey and process is different, man. So as long as I am getting recognition and I am getting days, and people are recognizing the talent, but it.
Lionel Harris:
Is hard for those people that are right in front of you sometimes to.
Lionel Harris:
See it, so be it. But I’ll get it. I’ll go where it takes me.
James Kennison:
That’s great. That’s great. That perseverance.
James Kennison:
There it is.
James Kennison:
So you said it’s hard for your kids to be a child of a comedian. I was listening to your stuff. Why is it so difficult for your kids to be the child of I can tell you.
Lionel Harris:
I’m thinking of rewriting that joke. In the original joke, I said I told the story of my daughter telling me this knock knock joke, and I was like she immediately got in trouble. I was like, what?
Lionel Harris:
Go to your room. You disgust me. But now that joke is changing because.
Lionel Harris:
My kids like them. Knowing what’s appropriate and inappropriate, I think is kind of gray area on certain things because my son told me he was, like, smacking himself trying to make kids laugh at school. I was like, Why are you doing that? Why are you hurting yourself? So my wife and I was like.
Lionel Harris:
You don’t do that, because he’s very young.
Lionel Harris:
So we were like, don’t do that. Don’t hurt yourself or whatever. Don’t do that. And my daughter came in, and she.
Lionel Harris:
Was like, did it work? I mean, if you got the laugh.
Lionel Harris:
That’S not the lesson we’re teaching.
John Steinklauber:
It worked for the three stories.
Lionel Harris:
I was like, Pratfall, come on, dad.
Lionel Harris:
You know, I was like, no, that’s not it.
James Kennison:
Now I’m scared that I was that kid growing know?
James Kennison:
I would say whatever I needed to.
James Kennison:
Say, even if it hurt people’s feelings. John will tell you.
James Kennison:
I’ve known John since back in the day, and he had to go to his mom and talk to her about my.
James Kennison:
Yeah, yeah.
John Steinklauber:
Why is the saying mean things to me?
Speaker C:
Right?
Lionel Harris:
Is that why you’re doing the clean show? Because it’s like your reform?
James Kennison:
I have a dark side.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
This is a work release program you’re doing, right?
James Kennison:
I’m trying to redeem what God gave.
James Kennison:
Me for good, I use for evil.
Lionel Harris:
No, it was probably just like I think a lot of people start out that way. I mean, for me, it was a defense mechanism.
Lionel Harris:
When I was a kid.
Lionel Harris:
That was the way I defended myself. So, yeah, it was very mean spirited. When I was younger, I mean, I probably had the same kind of thing, but I had a kid come back to me.
Lionel Harris:
It kind of messed with me a.
Lionel Harris:
Little bit because it took humility even at that age for him to do that because I grew up in the toxic masculinity of the 90s.
Lionel Harris:
So for it to come back to.
Lionel Harris:
Me and he was like, hey, man, I just want to know what did.
Lionel Harris:
I ever do to deserve that? I was like, oh, I’m a monster.
John Steinklauber:
For another two years.
Lionel Harris:
Right. I don’t really do roast.
James Kennison:
Right.
Lionel Harris:
Famously.
Lionel Harris:
And I’ve done a couple.
Lionel Harris:
I did one recently, but I’ve only.
Lionel Harris:
Done two in my career.
Lionel Harris:
One was imaginary.
Lionel Harris:
It was imaginary characters. And the other one, a friend of mine was moving. I went to him before I did. I was like, is this going to.
Lionel Harris:
Make you happy if I do this?
Lionel Harris:
Because I don’t want to do this.
Lionel Harris:
And he was like, yeah, you wanted to do it. So I kind of limited the jokes.
Lionel Harris:
Only to his material.
Lionel Harris:
I didn’t really go for him specifically him personally.
Lionel Harris:
I just joked about the things he.
Lionel Harris:
Joked about, which in some levels hurt worse.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
I was about to say, don’t we.
James Kennison:
Men judge ourselves by our efforts and.
James Kennison:
What we put out?
John Steinklauber:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to gut what you.
James Kennison:
Think is important about yourself.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah. I’m going to destroy that which you hold dear.
James Kennison:
Just crap on his wife for an hour. I think that would be better than that. Oh, my goodness.
James Kennison:
Well, we’re going to take a brief moment and hear a word from our.
James Kennison:
Sponsors, and then we got a guest featured story. We’ll be right back after this.
James Kennison:
All right, we’re back. Sorry about that. I got to pay the bills.
James Kennison:
Mr. Harris.
Lionel Harris:
Yes, sir.
James Kennison:
We are a storytelling podcast, and we love to hear great stories. I know stories is a big part of what you do, so take it away. Tell us a funny life story.
Lionel Harris:
Okay.
Lionel Harris:
So I’m going to tell you guys a story about the time when I realized that my jokes could predict the future.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, yeah.
Lionel Harris:
It was a weird experience that I had, but it was a period in my comedy, probably at a period where I was on the fence, like, whether or not I wanted to continue. And I had a friend of mine book me for this show. And I’m not going to lie, I was in a bad place. I was kind of like, melancholy, if you will. I wasn’t my best, and I had to close out this show. And I didn’t really know what I was going to say. I had been there, just kind of nervous, waiting for my turn. And when it was my turn to go to the stage, I freestyled my entire act.
Lionel Harris:
I don’t know where this came from. I started doing stuff I had never done before.
James Kennison:
Wow.
Lionel Harris:
When I first started, I story flat footed and just told jokes. I didn’t do act outs. I didn’t do anything. I literally just told jokes. And as my career has grown, I’ve started to use the other tools in my toolkit. And this night, I was using everything. I was on fire.
Lionel Harris:
And it was a good feeling, but.
Lionel Harris:
This guy in the front row caught my eye. So I started doing some crowd work, and I talked to this guy, and.
Lionel Harris:
I say, hey, has anybody ever told you that you look like an excellent.
Lionel Harris:
Cocaine salesman.
Lionel Harris:
Or a cool teacher who.
Lionel Harris:
Would be an excellent cocaine salesman?
John Steinklauber:
You think of Breaking Bad kind of scenario?
Lionel Harris:
No, I don’t know if was he.
Lionel Harris:
Cooking method that time?
Lionel Harris:
I’m trying to figure this. Yeah, he had been out by then.
Lionel Harris:
But I hadn’t seen the show.
James Kennison:
Yeah, yeah.
Lionel Harris:
So I’m going into this guy. I called him Mr. Gutierrez. I didn’t know what his name was.
Lionel Harris:
And I was like, oh, the kids.
Lionel Harris:
Want to take his class because he’s giving out free samples because the first one’s always free.
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah.
Lionel Harris:
So I go on and on. Crowd eats it up. I destroy.
Lionel Harris:
Have a good night.
Lionel Harris:
So my friend, he had been doing.
Lionel Harris:
Shows at this place regularly.
Lionel Harris:
And I know, man, weeks go by.
Lionel Harris:
No shows.
Lionel Harris:
So I called my friend.
Lionel Harris:
I said, hey, what’s going on with the venue? And he said, Nah, man. No more shows.
Lionel Harris:
And I was like, Why?
Lionel Harris:
And he’s like, do you remember that guy, Mr. Gutierrez?
Lionel Harris:
And I said, yeah.
Lionel Harris:
Oh, no.
Lionel Harris:
And he said, well, apparently the guy.
Lionel Harris:
Was really a criminal, and he was laundering money from the people that owned the venue and stole millions of dollars.
Lionel Harris:
So it was like I had the wrong crime. Right. But it was something about the guy that caught my eye. So he remembered it, and I sent it to the pilot that was the newspaper here. And they wrote the article about this whole thing.
Lionel Harris:
It was a real thing.
Lionel Harris:
It made the news.
James Kennison:
Wow.
Lionel Harris:
So.
Lionel Harris:
I was just laughing because I.
Lionel Harris:
Was like, oh, that’s a random occurrence.
James Kennison:
Right.
Lionel Harris:
But then I noticed that similar things.
Lionel Harris:
Started happening in shows after that.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, man.
Lionel Harris:
So now I’m nervous.
Lionel Harris:
I’m like, Why am I reading people’s.
Lionel Harris:
Mail when I’m up there doing crowd work?
James Kennison:
Because I God.
Lionel Harris:
That’s where everybody.
James Kennison:
You got discernment, brother.
Lionel Harris:
Right?
Speaker C:
That’s.
Lionel Harris:
Like, can I regift this? You know what I mean?
Lionel Harris:
Laugh at me or something.
Lionel Harris:
But man, yeah, it kept happening because this is a clean podcast. I won’t share with other stories, but just know that this kind of thing.
Lionel Harris:
Kept happening over and over for a while.
Lionel Harris:
I was afraid to do any type.
Lionel Harris:
Of interaction with the crowd because I.
Lionel Harris:
Was like everything was true, and it was, like, freaking me.
James Kennison:
There are criminals in jail and pedophiles off the streets because of Lionel Harris.
John Steinklauber:
He’s the joke prophet.
James Kennison:
Yes.
John Steinklauber:
You got a new title now.
James Kennison:
Don’t go to his show. If you’ve got a history, if you’ve got secrets, he is going to call you out.
Lionel Harris:
I’ve told this story in one of.
Lionel Harris:
My YouTube videos that I said, if.
Lionel Harris:
You look like an excellent cocaine salesman.
Lionel Harris:
Don’T sit in the front row.
Lionel Harris:
You know what I mean? Just go to the back. You know what I mean? Don’t come up close.
Lionel Harris:
That was my origin story.
James Kennison:
Yeah. I got to know where a cocaine salesman shops now. What makes you look like a cocaine salesman? I guess how much pomade you use.
Lionel Harris:
In your it’s really a vibe. It’s really you know what I mean?
Lionel Harris:
It’s that unknown factor. It’s that X factor.
Lionel Harris:
I can’t really say it’s a clothing thing.
James Kennison:
Right?
Lionel Harris:
It’s more of a vibe.
James Kennison:
That’s great.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
He had a white horse vibe.
Lionel Harris:
That’s what it was.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Lionel Harris:
Somebody has an extra six figures in their pocket right now from a cocaine.
John Steinklauber:
You need to give 10% of that.
John Steinklauber:
To the Lord and turn yourself in.
James Kennison:
That’s right.
Lionel Harris:
In a sample.
James Kennison:
Well, thanks for sharing with us. That’s amazing. And thank you for being on the show. I want to tell people where they can find you.
James Kennison:
Obviously, Lionelharris.com is your website.
James Kennison:
You can listen to Lionel Live, volume.
James Kennison:
One, on itunes, spotify, Amazon Music and YouTube music. I verified that today because I’m a YouTube music guy. Okay. And then his YouTube is Lionel Harris. His Facebook is at Lionel harris.com. So just type it out. One word. Lionel harris.com.
James Kennison:
And his instagram is at Jokeaday podcast. And be on the lookout next month or maybe Christmas for his podcast as well.
James Kennison:
And then get on and check out.
James Kennison:
His new show, Rent a Friend, on Dry Bar Comedy. Dry Bar is a great place for people that like clean comedy.
James Kennison:
That’s actually funny.
James Kennison:
That’s where I hunt for guests for the show, is find people who can work clean and still be hilarious. Usually they don’t go together very well.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah, that’s unfortunate.
Lionel Harris:
That’s the.
Lionel Harris:
Reputation.
Lionel Harris:
You know what I mean?
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
But there are people that pull it off, and Mr. Harris is one of them. So I suggest you go check him out, do a deep dive on Internet and find out if he’s really a cocaine fiend. We don’t know.
Lionel Harris:
I am not. He’s looking for just jokes.
James Kennison:
He’s looking for dealers.
James Kennison:
That’s what it is.
James Kennison:
That’s why he’s like every show.
James Kennison:
He’s like, mr. Gutierrez, are you here?
Lionel Harris:
No.
Lionel Harris:
Patriot act is not going to get me in trouble.
Lionel Harris:
No, sir.
James Kennison:
Thank you so much. So thank you so much for being on the show. I appreciate you.
John Steinklauber:
Yes.
Lionel Harris:
All right.
Lionel Harris:
Thank you guys for having me. Man, it was a blast.
James Kennison:
All right. Wasn’t he great?
John Steinklauber:
Yeah, he’s awesome. He’s definitely the kind of guy you could kick back with and watch Titanic.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, man. Are you going to have to edit any of that out?
James Kennison:
No.
James Kennison:
Editing nothing.
James Kennison:
Hey, let’s do some listener stories.
James Kennison:
All right.
James Kennison:
Our first is middle school drama.
Speaker C:
Move out of the way, stupid.
James Kennison:
I tell you, I get a lot.
James Kennison:
Of this every week. So I did. I went in and dug out a bunch. So here we go.
James Kennison:
Hello, James and John.
James Kennison:
I am Jackson. I have this weird skill where I take staples out of jamming the stapler. Though today it backfired on me. I remembered that my sister had a small purple stapler, and I was curious.
James Kennison:
Enough to ask her if I could.
James Kennison:
See if it was jammed.
James Kennison:
I opened it up and to my.
James Kennison:
Disappointment, it was perfectly placed in there.
James Kennison:
While I tried to close it, I didn’t notice that I actually was setting it up to shoot out a stapler, and it completely went straight through my pointer. Fingers.
John Steinklauber:
Okay.
James Kennison:
Fingers.
James Kennison:
Sure.
John Steinklauber:
It was an accident.
James Kennison:
It wasn’t even the worst part, for it stuck out of the other end of my finger. I was in shock as I noticed.
James Kennison:
That the impaling stapler was sticking my fingers together.
James Kennison:
It bled a little, but it’s still.
James Kennison:
To the moment I am typing this. I can see the staple hole through my nail and out the other way.
James Kennison:
I hope you liked my gross story, and I hope it makes it on the show.
John Steinklauber:
Jackson James, at your school, when you were younger yeah. Was it the thing to do, to accidentally quote, unquote, staple your fingers so that you could go home?
James Kennison:
Oh, no, man.
John Steinklauber:
When I was growing up, that was like, what people talked. Now, I went to a small Christian school, so they only talked about doing it because they heard about kids doing it in the public school. But, yeah, that was the thing. They would have accidentally stapled their finger so that they could go home.
James Kennison:
Wow.
James Kennison:
My mom would whoop my behind.
Lionel Harris:
Why’d you staple your finger for?
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Are you stupid?
John Steinklauber:
It was an accident. It slipped.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
This is the third time this week I’ve had to take off work is you and that stupid stapler.
John Steinklauber:
I was helping the teacher, I swear.
James Kennison:
Is your teacher stupid too?
James Kennison:
What’s the deal anyway?
James Kennison:
Wow.
James Kennison:
Nunya says for the record, I am using my mom’s email. Don’t get us mixed up.
James Kennison:
Okay?
James Kennison:
One day I was at my dear grandmother’s house with two of my friends. We were outside on her trampoline.
James Kennison:
Grandma has a trampoline.
James Kennison:
We dared ourselves to be awkward. We started dancing like cheerleaders while we singing save big money at Menards in front of cars that drove by. One of us was a boy. That was very funny. Hope it makes it on the show.
John Steinklauber:
Okay.
John Steinklauber:
You got the Menards joke in there. That’s always funny.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Save big money at Menards.
John Steinklauber:
We dared ourselves to be awkward, though.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
John Steinklauber:
Is that much of a dare when.
James Kennison:
You’Re in middle school?
Speaker C:
Middle school?
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Let’s be awkward for a while. I’m 1213. I’m not awkward.
John Steinklauber:
Still trying to get out of that phase.
James Kennison:
Okay, we got more.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, man, this keeps going.
James Kennison:
From Karina.
James Kennison:
One time I was trying to call someone. I think it was my dad. I was very young and I dialed the wrong number.
James Kennison:
They answered.
James Kennison:
Either they were lecturing me or they were spanking their child.
James Kennison:
I could not tell.
James Kennison:
The got to.
James Kennison:
Figure that out before college. Are they lecturing me or are they beating the crap out of me?
James Kennison:
I don’t know. Being the four year old that I was, I awkwardly said dad. My mom overheard the lectures from over the phone that sounded like someone angrily whacking the heck out of their child. She rushed in and hung up.
James Kennison:
Hope it makes it okay.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, my goodness.
James Kennison:
The stuff we remember from childhood. This is from Shuki. I’m long time listener.
James Kennison:
I have a story worth telling. I live in Moscow, Idaho, where there is a lot of crazy people. Anyway, me and my sister after church were in a parking lot. There were some Latter day Saints missionaries who had been trying to spread the word. After many car doors slammed in their face, the two walked away and one guy started to scratch his butt.
John Steinklauber:
His butt? That doesn’t say scratch. It says starch.
James Kennison:
Oh, he started to starch his butt.
John Steinklauber:
His butt’s got some wrinkles in it. I need to get those wrinkles out. I could starch my butt.
James Kennison:
Got to get this worked out.
James Kennison:
Love middle school drama, man.
John Steinklauber:
It’s just oh, man, some of it.
James Kennison:
Is so dry that I can’t even read it in this segment. I mean, it’s just so basic. It’ll be like one sentence. Like one time I fell over and my mom said, Why?
James Kennison:
Hope it makes it on the show.
John Steinklauber:
That was some very rich stuff that we just had there. Yeah, very rich middle school stuff.
James Kennison:
It’s good in helpings and serving sizes. Like a TV dinner where each little bit you eat it a little at a time. But when it’s filling up your inbox. It’s a little overwhelming.
John Steinklauber:
Yeah, you got to make a meal out of it.
James Kennison:
Well, hit us a story, John.
John Steinklauber:
This is the messy mix up. My wife and I have three daughters who all played soccer during their childhood. And one day, while we were watching the World Cup Final, lionel Messi was on the field. My wife turned to me and asked how old he was, to which I replied that I didn’t know. She wanted to mention that she remembered some of our daughter’s teammates having soccer balls with his name on them. However.
James Kennison:
Come on.
Lionel Harris:
Okay.
James Kennison:
Come on.
John Steinklauber:
I gave her thank you.
John Steinklauber:
Thank you so much.
John Steinklauber:
I’m blushing. However, what she actually said was, I.
James Kennison:
Remember.
John Steinklauber:
Do you need me to do it?
John Steinklauber:
No, I can do it. What she said was, I remember some of their teammates with messy balls. We both personally laughed. After recovering, we headed to church, because that’s apparently where we needed to go.
James Kennison:
We needed to repent immediately. Pat Dyche. Thank you so much.
James Kennison:
Thank you.
James Kennison:
Always give the good ones to John.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, thank you.
John Steinklauber:
I’m sorry I couldn’t make it through was it was a lot of work.
James Kennison:
It’s all right.
James Kennison:
We got one more. Clay kaiser.
James Kennison:
Kaiser.
James Kennison:
Kaiser. I’m going to say Kaiser. Dolphin drama. Hey, James and John.
James Kennison:
My name is Clay.
James Kennison:
That story showing Red school bus have become road trip staples for our family. Awesome. Good to hear. Love that. This story takes place when I was about ten years old in a family vacation with my parents and older sister. This vacation was particularly special because we went to the Bahamas. Very nice. We had been looking forward to this trip for a long time.
James Kennison:
They were especially excited because we heard that close to our hotel was a.
James Kennison:
Place that you could swim and pet dolphins. Dolphins were my sister’s favorite animal, and though I wasn’t quite as excited as her, I was still pretty stoked and a little nervous to be in the water with these cool creatures. On our first day of the trip, I made a devastating discovery. I had forgotten my swimsuit. Yeah, a trip to Bahamas. No swimsuit. My dad had brought an extra suit for himself, and luckily, or unluckily for me, I was a very heavy ten year old.
James Kennison:
So even though it was a bit.
James Kennison:
Big, his extra suit would get the job done, or so I thought. Dun, dun, dun. When the day came to swim with the dolphins, I put on my dad’s suit and sat through the excessively long safety briefing. And at the end, they gave us instructions for the dolphin ride, quote, unquote, where two dolphins would swim up behind.
James Kennison:
Put their noses on our feet, and push us through the water.
James Kennison:
Our bodies would come up out of the water, and we would put our hands up in the air, like you see sometimes in movies, and they would snap pictures of everybody as souvenirs. John is about to die.
John Steinklauber:
I’m just picturing, you know, as a kid, you used to go there and they would do this trick all the time at SeaWorld.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
John Steinklauber:
I can’t wait to see what the payoff is.
James Kennison:
Skin suits on, though. The entire experience was incredible until it was my turn to ride the dolphins.
John Steinklauber:
It’s still incredible.
James Kennison:
I was last to go, and I lightened my swim trunks. I tightened my swim trunks as best I could. Lightened them.
John Steinklauber:
I lightened them because I knew what’s.
James Kennison:
Peeing in the corner.
John Steinklauber:
I’m glad Clay is last for this.
James Kennison:
I was treading water on my belly.
James Kennison:
And I heard the trainer blow their little dolphin whistle, and I felt the dolphin snouts hit my feet with more force than I had expected.
James Kennison:
I followed the instructions and I put my hands up over my head. And as the dolphins pushed me through the water, my oversized swim trucks decided.
James Kennison:
They were going to stay behind.
James Kennison:
The dolphins didn’t stop.
John Steinklauber:
Even though he had the kids trunks over his face.
James Kennison:
I was riding them with my entire body out of the water, trunks around my ankles and hands in the air, picture snapping. When the ride was over, I struggled to get my pants back on and.
James Kennison:
Return to the group.
James Kennison:
I was mortified, and everybody was laughing hysterically, like John.
Lionel Harris:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Poor Clay. As we were leaving, they had everyone’s picture displayed on the big screen where.
James Kennison:
You could purchase prints of you riding a dolphin.
James Kennison:
And there was a sheet of paper taped over the corner of the screen where my picture was.
John Steinklauber:
Good pork.
James Kennison:
Clay.
John Steinklauber:
You’ll never get to remember that experience with a picture.
James Kennison:
Nobody’s going to buy that photo.
John Steinklauber:
They just said, we can’t put this.
James Kennison:
Get some paper is illegal. Why did they even bother? It still makes me cringe thinking about anybody who makes it on the show. Of course it made it on the show. Are you crazy?
John Steinklauber:
This is the best story ever. Oh, my goodness. Poor thing.
John Steinklauber:
I’m so glad Clay had the bravery to share that, because all I can picture is those moments when, you know, the SeaWorld shows where they have the dolphins or where Shamu is pushing the person through the water and they’re way up in the air.
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah.
James Kennison:
Complete exposure. Just no hope of getting anything fixed. Ten solid seconds of just being up there on those dolphins.
John Steinklauber:
It lasted eternity. When your pants are down.
John Steinklauber:
I mean.
John Steinklauber:
You have all sorts of time to contemplate your life.
John Steinklauber:
What led me to this moment oh.
James Kennison:
Poor Clay and his mama paid probably $200 a person for that.
John Steinklauber:
Oh, yeah.
James Kennison:
Can’t even get a picture. Can’t even get a picture.
John Steinklauber:
Can’t even get a picture. Good thing he was in a different country, though, because he didn’t know anybody there.
James Kennison:
Yeah, it’s true. What happens in the Bahamas stays in the Bahamas until it happens on that story show.
John Steinklauber:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
We got a couple of announcements.
James Kennison:
Hats are available on Etsy.com. Nlcast just sold one today. Got it out in the mail. We get them out quick. They’re awesome.
James Kennison:
100% cotton dad caps, precurved visor, pre washed.
James Kennison:
They have a nice texture to them. Big embroidered logo on the front. That story show. Pick yours up today for only $20.
James Kennison:
Subscribe to that story show’s YouTube channel.
James Kennison:
If you haven’t yet, we’re doing two shorts a week and I just posted a channel video that I’d love for.
James Kennison:
You to check out that helps you.
James Kennison:
To know how to subscribe to the podcast. So go check it out. Also, our theme show, the next one.
James Kennison:
Is called Canada Stories.
Lionel Harris:
Our next theme show only Canada stories. All Canada, all the time.
James Kennison:
So if you are from Canada, we want to hear from you. Or if you have a Canada story, we want you to send it in. Just visit that Story show, click, submit a story and you are good to go. You can also call them in. We’ll get there. I don’t know the number right off top of my head.
James Kennison:
This podcast is possible because of our members who support us even though they don’t have to.
James Kennison:
So get your show perks, like ad free listening swag and weekly bonus podcasts@patreon.com.
James Kennison:
That storyshow.
James Kennison:
I had a patron actually call it that storyshow. Premium. That’s what he thinks of it as because he’s enjoying his perks so much. Special thanks to our producers james Spangler, Kerry Wright and Christopher Tynen. We have got to get out of here.
James Kennison:
Surely you have a funny life story and you want to hear it read on the show. You got to send it in, though. Submit your story at thatstory show. Or you can call it in. Toll free 83355 story. And while you’re there, join our mailing list.
James Kennison:
We got Instagram, we got Facebook, we.
James Kennison:
Got all the stuff. And remember, hilarious stories, we all got one, so you need to share yours.
James Kennison:
On that Story show.
James Kennison:
We’ll see you guys next week. Goodbye, John.
John Steinklauber:
Bye, James.
James Kennison:
Bye, everybody. We’ll see you guys later.
John Steinklauber:
There’s got to be a song.
James Kennison:
Okay, now you said it. Now I can’t perform.
James Kennison:
All right.
John Steinklauber:
And where’d my pants go?
James Kennison:
Here we go.
James Kennison:
All right.
James Kennison:
Well, I’m just a dolphin doing what I’ve been trained to do. I just push some feet and push.
James Kennison:
The all the way through this little pool after they’ve gone through the safety requirements, I didn’t know this kid was going to get so excited. His dress suit came down. We pushed him up and there was no one but him with a frown because everybody else was laughing and cheering. That poor kid was up there like, I don’t know. Nothing’s coming to my mind.
James Kennison:
It’s hard to compete with that story alone.
James Kennison:
It is.
James Kennison:
Dolphin ride cheering. Nothing runs with cheering. Orange.
The post 450: Comedian Lionel Harris II appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Today we’re looking at 1 Thessalonieans16-18 which tells us to rejoice always, pray continuously, and give thanks. These are hard things to do when you’re struggling. Let’s take the pressure off and find practical ways to accomplish God’s will in these things.
The post 3: Being Thankful During Struggles appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I’m being very open this week. I’m kind of down and worried about going deeper. I feel stupid about almost everything I’m down now but I’m hoping and fighting for things to get better.
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The post 190: Feeling Stupid appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
This week Mike has something tickle his neck in the dark. TJ tells us about his touretts ticks. And Jayme puts an entire restaurant on high alert!
https://www.patreon.com/posts/449-stuff-that-89295220
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James Kennison [00:00:00]:
This is that Story show where hilarious real life stories take the spotlight. This week, Mike has something tickle the side of his neck in the dark TJ tells us about his tourette’s text, and Jamie puts an entire restaurant on high alert. Now you’re ready for that story show. Hey, this is that story. Show people. Arthur hey. He was cooking pizza. I turned into a bat. I flew into his tweet. I left her some guan. Hey, podcast people. Welcome back to that Story Show episode 449, brought to you the week of September 14, 2023. I am your host. My name is James Kennison, and my good friend is here I am I am here. James. It’s me, John. Hi. And I want to tell you something, James, and this is a serious concern for me. I work in a building that has a couple elevators, and I like to take them when I can. Yeah. Because I’m not real sure about the stairs, because they’re always up to something. I don’t know if I should take them or not. I’m sure they’d be down for whatever you wanted to do. Yeah. Just take it step by step. One step at a time, bro. One step at a time. I can do that. Thank you. Baby steps. Baby, baby, baby. Jojo had some nice things to say about you last week. Did you hear? Yes. Well, I did, and it was really strange story. So I was ready to do the show last week, and I was all ready, and the power went out. Oh, and I thought I heard somebody outside the door kind of cackling at me. Yeah. I couldn’t get anything working. And then when I came back, the show had already been posted. Yeah. And so I gave it a listen. I mean, he was very nice, but I feel like he had something to do with me not being able to get I wouldn’t put it past him. Jojo is I mean, he comes off all spiritual, and he’s got it all together, but inside, I think he has the soul of a false prophet. He’s got a malicious spirit about him. Yeah. I mean, he’s like a whitewashed tomb. On the outside is grease paint, but in the inside is dead men’s bones. Dead man’s bones. We always start with an opening story. This is called Terrible Tickle, and it is bad. Mike alex. Alex from Watersville, Maine. He says, during my late teens and early twenties, I worked as a camp counselor at a Christian teen camp in my hometown of Connecticut. One summer night, as everyone lay in peaceful slumber, a strange sensation on my neck jolted me awake. My reflexive response was to reach for my neck to investigate and brush away whatever was causing the tickle. I got the heebie jeebies already, but I don’t even know where this story is going. But I just it gets worse. Crawling on it gets worse. Oh, great. But as my fingers touched the irritated spot, I felt something latch onto them. Hammock surge through me and I flung my hand away from my neck, sending the mysterious tickler hurling across the pitch black cabin. I heard it collide with the wall with a thud, followed by the unmistakable sound of it scurrying across the floor and even bumping into the wall. Oh, my goodness. That thing was on your neck while you’re sleeping. Terrified, I refused to set my bare feet on the dark ground. Instead, I awkwardly reached for the end of my bunk, stretching to turn on the light. I hoped my actions wouldn’t rouse the slumbering teen boys or give the unseen tickler a clear view of me as unseen tickler.
John Steinklauber [00:03:55]:
Gucci goo.
James Kennison [00:03:56]:
As the light flickered on, I cautiously crawled to the end of my bunk, trying to get a better look at the elusive intruder. Finally, at a safe distance from the featured, I saw it. A massive cockroach, at least two and a half to three inches long, the very thing that had been tickling my neck and clinging to my fingers. Without hesitation, I descended from my bunk and slapped that tickler back to the origins of the fall from which it came. Yes, it made a satisfying but also terrifying crunch as it took two solid slaps to end its horrible existence. Yeah, those jokers are armored. He had to hit it twice. Yeah, you could step on them and they still walk. They’ll pick you up and move you, as if it wasn’t unsettling enough. Apparently cockroaches will eat your eyelashes as well. So happy sleeping. Are you serious? They’ll eat your eyelashes? I grew up in a white trash environment. We had plenty of night tickles. I’ve never woke up with them on my eyes. I think that’s just a little joke there. Yeah. I remember waking up one morning, well in the middle of the night when I was in Florida. Growing up, I felt something crawl across my chest because I used to sleep on the floor all the time in our house because we didn’t have air conditioning and there was a fan and it would kept its cooler and stuff and I would sleep in front of it when I could. Some crawled across my chest and I woke up and I was looking around and then the cat, because we had stupid cats of cats, came like, trouncing across my chest looking for whatever crawled across. I’m pretty sure it was a roach. I’m just going to believe that it was a roach. I don’t think it was bigger than a roach. But yeah, we had think about it till now, it could have been a mouse. We were being babysat by these two old folks that lived across the street from us. My parents were so desperate to go out, they’d leave us with anybody. They were sitting on a couch across from the piano. Well, me and Leanne wanted to show off our piano skills. So we opened the book over the piano, and this freaking cockroach that had been up there flies all the way to the length of the thing straight for them, and between their heads, they both moved aside. It was like if there had been an umpire, he would have been like, Field goal good. I don’t even know that I knew to be embarrassed. I’m like I just imagine that everybody had nasty cockroaches living in their house. We do. Yeah. If you live in the south at all, you’ve got roaches. It doesn’t matter how clean you are. There’s roaches. They’re there. Yeah. And what do they say? If you see one, there’s a million. You don’t see no, they don’t say that. Nobody says that ever. That’s an urban legend. Yeah, that’s what that is. Yeah, it’s a suburban legend. All right, let’s do some news. Nuggets, China authorities arrest Tu for smashing a shortcut through the Great Wall with an excavator. Did you see this? No. What? Yes. Two individuals, Zhang and Wang, were arrested for creating a shortcut through China’s Great Wall, a United Nations protected heritage site. Wow. This occurred in a remote, deteriorated section far from the well known restored areas in Yangao County, west of Beijing. The pair wanted a shorter route for some construction work they were doing in nearby towns, and they destroyed. So who made it through the Great Wall of China? Kangas Khan and Zine and Wang. Wang? Yeah. They had a little help, of course, but wow. Could you imagine? I mean good night. How old is that thing? It’s like thousands, thousands of years old. And I was actually reading something the other day because the article popped up, and it was talking about how a lot of the bricks and stuff have been stolen. And they’ve had I mean, it’s an enormous it’s huge. And a large percentage of it’s really actually in disrepair. Right. But they’re talking about how the unique mortar and stuff is actually made of rice and stuff like that, but apparently it’s really strong. But not strong enough to stand up to an excavator. No. From Zing and Wang. Yeah, it was a couple it was a man and a woman that were doing work, and they didn’t want to go around the wall. So what do you go it’s like prepositions. You go through it. You can’t go around it and can’t go over it. What do you do? Police stop. Nebraska man not a Florida man for bucking the law with a bull riding shotgun in his car. If you could have only seen the picture. A car driving with a bull in it was pulled over by police in northeast Nebraska’s biggest city. Don’t worry, he didn’t steer. The car that Lee Mayer was driving had been in parades across the area for years, and it has half the windshield and the roof removed to make room for this giant bull named Howdy Duty to ride along. A yellow metal cattle gate serves as a passenger side door, allowing for the Watusi bull named Howdy Duty to be tied up. And, yeah, it’s like a sidecar on a car. It’s crazy. His wife Rhonda, said. That Howdy Duty has been Meyer’s friend and buddy ever since he got him eight or nine years ago. But the amount of money that he spent on this whole darn project, between the car and the bull, I could have had a new kitchen, Rhonda Meyer said in A, Nebraska in an accident. Riemann said that there were clearly some traffic violations related to Meyer’s car, but the officer let him go with a warning as long as he turned around and took Howdy Duty home. I love this story because I think it’s my real father. I think this man is my real dad. Most of you guys will remember that my mom bought a cow, a baby cow, and she put it in the back of a van, and then she was a free cow. It was a free cow. I’m sorry. You’re right. It was a free cow. My mom went and paid for a cow. She put the cow in the back of the van. It laid down. Then she went grocery shopping at Walmart, and then she went to pick up my brothers, and they opened the back doors to unload the groceries. And the groceries was moving. Moving. Scared the crap out of back in the day during the paper bags, right? Yeah. She failed to tell the that there was a cow in the back of the van. So I figure if that’s my mom, this guy might be my father. Took the cow out for a ride. Yeah, I saw this article, actually. It popped up in my feed, too, and that was just something crazy. So creative, though. Yeah, it’s a cool car. It looks like something from Mad Max. Yeah, definitely had some homemade qualities to it. Absolutely. Well, we got a few announcements. Hats are available@etsy.com. Nlcast they are now $20. That’s $5 discount. And that is a permanent discount. So if you haven’t gotten your hat yet, now’s the time. We even ship overseas and everything and Canada and all know. So anyway, subscribe to that story show’s YouTube channel Youtube.com slash at that story show. And the the theme show Fears and Tears is not working. We’ve got a grand total of two submitted stories that we will mix back into the overall mix. So we want a new theme. And here it is, our next theme show, only Canada Story. All Canada, all the time. So you heard it here, folks. Only Canada stories. If you live in Canada, Canada Stories, you send in your story hashtag Canada. And we will do an entire America’s hat show based on your stories. So get it in as soon as possible and we will play it. We will play your stuff. You can send in audio you can call our eight three three number. You can email us. You can use the web form that storyshow.com and then submit. Put that joker in. Also have one more announcement. It’s not as fun. We are sunsetting the weekly story contest, retiring. Yeah. The original purpose for it obviously was to award great storytellers and to generate more interest in submitting stories. And while it did that originally, the interest has waned and our stories levels have returned to normal, which is fine. We’re still doing great. But now we want to see if we can use those funds in a better way. If you remember originally we said that we would run it for two months, and we ran it for a lot longer than two. Did we did we break in there too? We gave it a good know overall, it ran for and I’m mad because I didn’t win. John, did you win? I did not. But even though I didn’t win a cash prize, I feel like a winner regardless. You’re such a sweetheart. You are. Jojo it’s right. It’s time for a featured story.
John Steinklauber [00:13:51]:
Let me tell y’all story. Let me tell y’all story.
James Kennison [00:13:57]:
Today’s featured story is an interactive story. One of the new things that we’re doing over there on that story show slash submit TJ Bunkhall, the submitted stories in the past, he’s a gentleman with Tourette’s, and he wanted to get on and share some stories of some of his ticks. I had a great time with him. Hi, folks, I’m here with an interactive story with TJ Bunkal. TJ, welcome to the show. Hi. I’m the guy of tourette. I sent in a story a while ago about me barking with some dogs. Remind us how that went again. Yeah, so the specific instance of that story was that I was working for a company called We Man. I have tourette’s, right? So one of my ticks would be barking. I would be on a job, and a dog would start barking at me. And then my ticks go, hey, these are my people. I’m going to start barking back. I would just start barking at them, not intentionally, and they would bark back at me, and it set me off. And then we just go back and forth. So what do you think the dog’s reaction was? Were they excited to have somebody speak dog, or were they angry? Usually they pause for a bit, like, is that what we sound like? Something like that. So I’ve been told I sound like a bigger dog. It’s something maybe like a German shepherd. I don’t know. I’m not super familiar with dogs. I didn’t grow up with them or anything. Right. And I still bark when I’m at work. And so I’ll be in the back of the store I work at, and customers will come up to the counter and they would like, is there a dog back here? And you work for a food establishment, so that’s not kosher. That’s not something somebody wants to hear. My coworkers know I have tourette’s. And so they would say, oh no, it’s just one of my coworkers. He has tourette’s. Yeah. We just scratch him under the chin and he goes back to work. I like to make him too happy. Joke that they’re going to go ballistic, go full Karen and say, you have a document there that’s so unsanitary. How dare. And that was just a few laughs that’s never happened. Hypothetical situation. It will. It’ll happen some karen will come in eventually. So what do you got for us today? So today I thought I’d share my tics about my co workers, actually. OK. Because you told me earlier one of your goals in life is to normalize or take the stigma off Tourette’s. Is that yeah. Yeah. Take the stigma away. Kind of make it funny. You don’t really want to laugh at disabilities. You don’t laugh at cancer. And it’s a chronic disability, essentially. But it’s something to be made light of. Every person with Tourette’s is going to be different. So everyone’s going to have their different preferences. But of everyone I talked to with Tourette’s, they always find ways to be funny about it. I never once heard of someone say, oh, if you make fun of it, I’m going to be mad at you. I mean, there’s a point to be sensitive and there’s a point to just ignore it. But in general, it’s best to just kind of be loose about it. Well, it’s better to laugh with somebody than to laugh at exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So I joke about my tourette’s. Quite a, um we had jokes in my family and my dad has something similar to Tourette’s. And so we get that quite a bit. I grew up with a friend with Tourette’s. I have all kinds of stories. And if we had 2 hours, I could just go back and forth about different stories. Nothing incredibly long, nothing with tons of background. Just funny instances over the years. I was diagnosed in October of 2009. And so it’s been 13 or so years since I was diagnosed. And so I went from being the shy kid that wouldn’t say anything to actually advocating for Tourette’s. Not like super public. I haven’t gone to Congress or anything like that. Right. But still, that’s huge. Taking what some people would call a disability and turning it into something that enables. Yeah. Yeah. So hit us with your best shot. You know about my Tourette’s, my Tourette’s, I tend to pick up random tics, different places. I’ve had tics where I would hear my roommate kiss his girlfriend and I would shout, get a room. I would hear someone humming Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, like July, August, just kind of out of nowhere. And I would start seeing Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer. My tick sound like a demon. So it’s not like I mean, not demon. It’s just that my voice gets really raspy, and so it’s not like my normal talking voice. And you would know an interesting difference I wish I could do on command. But of course, Tourette’s having performance anxiety, apparently. Yeah. But currently the demon’s not coming out right now, apparently. Yeah. My latest takes have been at work. Work for me has been a stressful situation. I worked the night shift. I’m a delivery driver, and there’s a lot of pros, but I’ve always ticked that work. It’s just always been something that I’ve been dealing with. And I picked up this tick from my coworkers. Two of the managers that I was working with one night, it’s like 1112 at night. They were talking trash about one of their fellow managers that has been there longer than either of them, yet these two outrank that guy. I was having a rough day ticking that day. And I went from barking, like, my usual tick, my usual go to tick to. I said, it’s all Tom’s fault. And so I would say that. And it’s funny. My coworkers will laugh, but at the same time, my general manager, one of the coworkers I was trash talking to this guy. It’s like, you can’t do that. Wheel green get in so much trouble because they kind of have a sense that I pick up what other people say. So if I were to pick that in front of him, I haven’t yet, I don’t think I will, he would know that people have been saying that. Yeah, that’s funny. It’s like a parrot repeating the bad words the old lady says. Exactly. And actually, that’s one of the funny things about my Tourette’s, is that the tick that is stereotypically, what goes with Tourette’s is people will curse randomly. I never had that tick. I’ve had every other kind of tick you can imagine but that one. Well, good. But this tick of all Tom’s fault transitioned into naming other managers. So it’s all Nick’s fault, it’s all Chandler’s fault, et cetera. And so now, whenever someone does something wrong or jokes being made about can’t think of a specific instance, like they’re being goofy, and I just blurt out, It’s all Nick’s fault, and a few people start cracking up. He’s like, Why is it me? So, yeah, it’s been fun to play with. Not play with intentionally. It’s not comfortable for me, right. But it’s fun to be made light of. It’s fun, kind of to make light of an odd situation, right? Every time I scare another one of my cokers, I scare every time. Every time I screech like a banshee or bark, she James, like, a mile high. Oh, bless her heart. Well, it’s even funnier because she has a friend with she. Before I met her, she was used to Tourette’s, and she would still jump with her friend. But mine are much worse than her Friends’and. So I just scare the crap out of her every time. And really, everyone, it’s kind of mean of me to say this, but I kind of get a kick out of it a little bit because I mean I mean, essentially, I’m suffering from cancer, sort of not really. Right. It’s uncomfortable for me, but there’s perks it’s kind of a relief to kind of give me a laugh. Yeah. Like I scared the crap out of you. I wasn’t even trying to. Right? Yeah. Nobody can get mad. No, no one can get mad. I mean, they can get mad, but the won’t get fired of it. Exactly. So go get some people tonight, all right? And your night shift. Get a few, folks, if you can. Well, thanks for sharing with me today. I appreciate you coming on the show, man. No worries. How can people get a hold of you on discord? On discord, I am TJ bunk. T as in golf. T. J as in the blue jay and bunk. Like bunk bed. Okay. And you said folks can get a hold of you and ask you questions about your condition and all that. Yeah. There’s no need to be afraid of asking questions. I, in fact, embrace them, though. Keep in mind that my answers might not be the same for everyone with Tourette’s. Gotcha. We’re going to jump right into the rest of the show. Peace. All right. Wasn’t that awesome? That was great. Thanks, TJ, for sharing. That’s hilarious. Yeah, he was great. He referenced and I never thought about it like that before. People with it’s a condition. Like he references it’s like cancer. You don’t laugh at cancer or you don’t laugh at those things, but certainly him at least making it light of it probably is a good way for him to deal with it. Yeah. To cope. To cope. Right. That’s a good word. Kudos to you, TJ, for allowing us to be part of your world. Yeah. Thanks for sharing yourself with us like that and being vulnerable. You had some really good funny moments in there. That was great. Let’s do some listener stories. All right. All right. Our first one is middle school drama. Dang it.
John Steinklauber [00:23:27]:
Move out of the way, stupid.
James Kennison [00:23:29]:
Hi, I’m Michaela. Mike. I’m glad the put the phonetic in there. I can’t read it’s. Micah. Mike. Hi, I’m Micah. And here’s my tale of woe. One day I jumped and flew out of the trampoline. I was bleeding, but I was fine after a trip to the Er. Hope it does or doesn’t make it on the show. Micah I’m going to play this one for him.
John Steinklauber [00:24:06]:
One of the many tools of the devil.
James Kennison [00:24:08]:
There you go. I get about a dozen of these a week, and I should just save them up and do, like, six in a row. Sometimes they’re one line. They’re just like, I fell out of a tree. I hope it makes it on the show. Every middle schooler ever. Oh, goodness. The best part is that? You said Micah called him Michaela. I’m sure you’ll love that. Fortunately, Micah put the phonetic spelling in there, and that took care of it for you. It did. I would have not even reread it. I would have just went on with Michaela. I don’t even know. I put so many new letters in his name. Well, let’s do a quick word from our sponsors. All right, John, reuse the story. This comes to us from Lonnie in Texas. And this is Sibling shock. First, let me say that I’m thrilled to see that Red school bus has made a return. Yeah, I’ve been enjoying catching up on the episodes while I work. Awesome. I am the youngest of six, and at 56, I’ve come to realize that many of the childhood memories I thought were real were actually lies and tricks concocted by my four older brothers. Evil. My second oldest brother, who is about ten years older than me, was notorious for his practical jokes and mean tricks often enlisting my brothers to join him in the mischief we lived in what I considered a sizable house at the time, featuring a small back porch connecting to the kitchen. On this porch sat an upright freezer that had a peculiar short circuit. It generally wasn’t an issue unless you were touching something grounded, and the side of the freezer simultaneously only killed a couple of us. No big deal. Yeah, we get some milk from the freezer. Or ice cream, I guess you don’t get milk from the freezer, do you? No, but dad will get around to fixing it eventually when he runs out of kids. There’s six of them. Well, a few feet away from the porch, there was a water faucet protruding from the ground. Oh, good. Great. And one day, one of my brothers stationed himself with a hand on the freezer while the other knelt with one hand on the spigot. I was easily irritated as a young child, making it quite simple for someone to provoke me into chasing them around the house. As we rounded the corner of the house, a person I was chasing darted between the two, and naturally, I followed. As I passed them, they each grabbed one of my arms, completing an electrical circuit. Being in the middle, I received the full shock. It wasn’t enough to cause physical harm, but it left a lasting memory the day the turned a freezer into a shocking adventure. Good one. An electrified memory that I recall vividly even after 50 years. Wow. Thanks, Lonnie. I got a story called Scary Situation from Jamie Good in Springfield, Illinois. He says my mom is startled very easily. So, as most kids would, we took every opportunity to scare her. And things have not changed as we’ve grown into adults. Yeah, that’s why I never told my kids. I am super easily startled, and I’m so glad that I kept that a secret. And they never figured it out because they are suckers, man. They don’t listen to the show, too. I would be dead. Yeah, they think everything dad does is dumb. So, yeah, it’s a blessing. One day, my in laws were visiting, and my parents wanted to get together for dinner at Chili. So we pulled into the restaurant and noticed my mom and dad were sitting with their backs to the window, and I saw my opportunity. Done it. I quickly parked the car. Done it. I ran up to the window. Dun dun. I gave it a couple of good pounds, and my mom screamed so loud, you could hear it in the parking lot. I had a good laugh. I had a good laugh as I gathered up the family and walked into the restaurant. Oh, I’m so funny. Normally, when you walked into a restaurant, there’d be some sort of noise from everybody conversating and enjoying their dinner. However, when we walked in, it was dead silent, and everyone was angrily staring at my mom. All I saw was her back to the window from my side, but everyone else saw her facing the entrance to the restaurant. So when she let out her blood curling scream, everyone inside thought someone with a gun had just walked in. Chili’s briefly started to take active shooter protocol before realizing someone had just gotten scared. My mom and dad were extremely embarrassed. Not only did I scare my mom, but I inadvertently scared the entire restaurant. Good job, Jamie. And nobody got their baby back ribs that night. Scaredy cat ribs. Chili’s. Baby back ribs. All right, everybody hit the floor. You too, lady. Yeah, especially you. I’m going to get a cactus blossom or somebody’s going to get it. I don’t even know what they serve at Chili’s anymore. Do they still do that commercial with the baby back ribs? I don’t even know. I don’t know. Was that chili’s? Yeah, chili’s baby back ribs. Chili’s, baby back ribs. I was big in the think. Yeah, I think they brought it back commercial at one point, but yeah. Baby back, baby back. Yeah. I used to think the song was about losing your girlfriend because it started off, I want my baby back. But then it goes into the ribs and it all makes sense. Yeah, it comes together. It’s very well done. Yes. It’s an earworm, as they would say. Yeah. I love humming it. Do you? I do. No, you don’t want it’s my favorite song. I wish Taylor Swift would cover it. That would be awesome. Taylor, if you’re listening, please cover it. Yeah. And if you’re listening, please come on the show, because, yeah, that would be me and my son. Love you. It’s the only thing we have in condom. It’s the only thing we have in common. What? I don’t even know what that is. Compose myself so I can get into this next story. Anyway, me and my son share a love of Taylor Swift. That’s all I was trying to say. We have that in common. Appreciation. I don’t know where your mind went, John, but I said I thought you were talking about place where you put a lot of people what is it called? Condos? Yeah. Condominiums. Condominiums. There you go. Thanks for helping me with that. We should probably move on. I got a story here from Seth Kleinworth in Omaha. Omaha, Nebraska? Yeah. Wow. Well, Seth, we’re happy to have your story. This is a strobe light. In 7th grade, I was part of our church’s youth group, but I ended up being the only boy in junior high that year. Oh, wow. That could either be great or terrible. Yeah. Every year we had this event called Winter Blast, which was a short weekend retreat for 7th and 8th graders at Camp Horse. This being Iowa, in the winter, it was colder than a snowman sneeze outside. Oh, that’s cute. That’s cute. It’s cute. How cold is the snowman? Sneeze. So as boys do when nature calls, we didn’t exactly brave the cold for the sake of proprietary no. We opted for a more expedient approach and use the porch as our personal restroom. Yeah. So picture this it’s dark outside, but luckily there’s a porch light to guide the way. I step out to take care of business, and just as I start, the light starts flickering on and off like a disco ball gone haywire. Chaos ensues, and the entire cabin starts hollering, strobe light. Strobe light. I jumped so hard, I almost went off the porch into my own puddle. The other boys had the time of their lives because they literally scared the pee out of me with this unexpected light show. It was a weekend of unexpected hilarity. Oh, God. Thank you, Seth, for that embarrassing story of relieving yourself to the have you ever been scared while you’re peeing? Like actively peeing? Because it comes out harder when you get scared. It’s like somebody turned a faucet. Think I I don’t think I have. Yeah, now I have. Like, somebody’s pushed me. Like when I was in the bathroom. You know how guys used to do. Nobody does this nowadays. To me, at least in the bathroom, somebody pushing that kind of gives you a little bit of jolt. No. I was in Boy Scouts and I was standing on two two X fours over a hole in the ground. And I was concentrating because it was dark. And I had finally worked up the courage to get there. Somebody freaking comes out and yells, and I swear I came off the ground like Buzz Lightyear. A jet propulsion dream. I went to infinity because everything just tensed up. It’s like, I don’t know, squeezing a little packet of ketchup and it just goes everywhere. I surprised it didn’t blow out my belly button. We got a voicemail. It’s from Jess. And Jess, we’ve heard from her. We heard from her last. Another I like her unique way of telling stories. She shares them with her daughter and records the thing. It’s genius, really. So it’s awesome. Here we go. Might start a trend. Yeah, I hope so. I mean, you can always do the interactive story if you don’t have a kid. And you can tell your story to me like TJ Bunkall did at that story show slash Submit. So, anyway, here we go.
John Steinklauber [00:34:33]:
Do you want to hear one more story? Yeah.
James Kennison [00:34:35]:
Okay.
John Steinklauber [00:34:35]:
One more. All right. So one time when we were all at the cottage, we were probably teens, Aunt Weezy and I, and we were going for a boat ride. So Grandma, Papa, Aunt Wheezy and myself are on the okay. So we take off. We push off from the dock, and we’re floating away. We’re in the middle of the lake, and all of a sudden, Papa sees a huge mama dock spider that is on the boat. Okay.
James Kennison [00:35:10]:
Mama dock.
John Steinklauber [00:35:12]:
He tries to stay chill and calm because he knows that Aunt Wheezy and I are terrified of spiders.
James Kennison [00:35:19]:
Did you tell them?
John Steinklauber [00:35:21]:
What do you mean? Did he tell you? Well, we ended up seeing that there was this ginormous mama spider, like, huge. A dock spider? Like, spread out your hand, like, almost the size of your hand. They’re huge. They’re huge and hairy and awful. Okay. So anyways, Pup takes a paddle and whacks the mama spider off of the boat into the water, and then he floors it, so he speeds away in the boat. But it’s a pontoon boat, and it doesn’t go very fast, so even at the top speed, it’s not going super fast. Right. So at this point, Aunt Weezy and I are screaming because we see the mama spider sprinting on top of the water back to the boat because her babies are on board.
James Kennison [00:36:21]:
Oh, no.
John Steinklauber [00:36:23]:
And the mama spider gets back on the boat, flipping out, and then Papa grabs the paddle and whacks it back and into the water, and it comes back for the boat again, and it’s just a horrifying experience. I think he finally ended up killing it. I can’t remember. I think I passed out from fear.
James Kennison [00:36:48]:
That’s great. Awesome. Thank you so much. Did you notice okay, she’s Canadian, but did you notice the little girl’s accent? Did you hear that is Irish? Yes. She lives in Ireland with her Irish husband and her children, who have picked up the accent from the area. That’s awesome. Yeah. Love it. Matter of fact, I was like, wait a second. That voice, that’s a little different. Editor, go ahead and throw that voice in here right now so we can hear it again.
John Steinklauber [00:37:20]:
Did he tell you? Well, he didn’t want you to freak out.
James Kennison [00:37:24]:
Well, see how cute that is? That’s precious. That’s awesome. Anyway, I want to hear a story from the kid one day. Yes. If you want me to say ukulele, I’ll say ukulele. Ukulele. Ukulele. Ukulele, any of our listeners abroad. I want to hear you tell your story in that manner. Okay. I don’t want to be a spoiler, but the theme show idea is going to spread across the world. But we’re starting with Canada. Canada starts, but I might have had him say a few other countries as well. I was about to ask you if you did that or if you had somebody do that. Yeah, no, that’s not me. Very nice. It’s a giant black dude who did a great job. All Canada, all the time. Nice. All right. It’s time for us to think about and talk about the people that make this podcast possible because of our members who support us even though they don’t have to. It’s a free show and they do it anyway, thanks to our members. Get your show perks. Have you gotten your show perks? Show perks are things like ad free listening swag and weekly bonus podcasts that we do called stuff that Wouldn’t fit on the show. We do it every single week. If you want your podcast perks, go to patreon.com, slash that storyshow. You get access to patron only stuff and you ask our patrons. The number one way to interact with me is through Patreon. You get all kinds of behind the scenes stuff. You get to see stuff before anybody else. I posted one of our YouTube shorts on there today that’s not going to go live until next week. So there’s a lot there, so we make it worth your while. If you can do if you can’t, don’t worry about it. It’s free. You don’t have to. It’s free. And we love you regardless. Absolutely. We love you. A little more if you’re a patron. Yeah, just a little bit more. Thanks to our newest members. Colleen, Flash, Jervis, Matthew Harrison, Jamie Good, Mitchell Sink, Mars and Christine Diedrich. We thank you so much for helping us out and being on there for us. Tammy, Debrak. Also, I want to mention her name. So special thanks to our producers James Spangler, Kerry Wright and Christopher Tynan. All right. Surely you have a funny life story. Send it into the show. Submit your story at thatstory show. Call us toll free. 8355 story. You can tell us your story through there. And while you’re there, join our mailing list. It would be awesome. And remember, hilarious stories. We all have one, so you need to share yours on that story show. See what I did there? Yeah. Pretty slick for a 50 year old man. Do it. You want me to say it again? No, I won’t. Yes. Okay. Doc, spider mama floating on the water. She’s going to get back on the boat and eat your brother. Her babies are on there. 103. You try to throw her out, but you can’t get rid of me because I’m a boat spider. I mean a dock spider. I got a whole lot of little baby eggs inside. I’m going to spill them out on your pontoon boat. I’m going to crawl up and tickle your throat like I did. The guy who was sleeping in his cabin, he tried to pee off the side and they wouldn’t even have it. They started flashing lights and the made fun of him and he almost fell down in his puddle. Had to swim. And that’s all I got today. So we’re going to wrap it up. We’ll see you next week. And I won’t say condom again. Yeah, sorry about that, guys. Bye.
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I finished the book Atomic Habits and things are changing little by little in my life. Get your Show Perks here!
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Yoel learns a big lesson when he tries to run on a treadmill at full speed! Special guests Milo and Mossimo! Get your Show Perks here!
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It’s me. JoJo. I crept into James’ studio and recorded an episode. Support me on Patreon. I got bills. Get your Bonus Show here. JoJo the Christian Clown: Well, hello, there. This is that story show where the funny stuff happens and the spotlights get put on the funny stuff? It’s episode 448, brought to […]
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How should we respond when God’s answer is “no”? Become a living sacrifice.
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This week we’re investigating my self-hatred and my struggle to have a loving relationship with God. Get your Show Parks here.
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Avery shares a story about talking to a special animal. We’ve also got fun facts, a crazy new word, and more! Get your Show Perks here.
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Caleb has quite the experience with a deranged dentist plus some epic stories from this episode of That Story Show podcast that will have you in stitches! Trust me, you don’t want to miss out on these hilarious and crazy moments.
Your bonus audio content
Check out Not Quite Christlike in iTunes or Spotify.
James Kennison:
Hey, podcast people. This is that Story show where real life stories take the spotlight. It’s episode 447, brought to you the week of August 23, actually, 31st, 2023. I’m your host. My name is James Kenison, and my good friend is here.
James Kennison:
Hey, James, I’m John, and I want to tell you about this new bookstand that I got from Ikea. Oh, yeah. It fell over and all my books fell on my head.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
But you know what? I have my shelf to blame.
Jess:
That was funny, wasn’t it? I have my shelf to blame.
James Kennison:
Oh, man. Yeah. No, ikea is great. Ikea is just short for I’ll kill you. Yeah, I’ll kill you. That’s what happens there. We always start with an opening story. And this one is a voicemail from Jessica McCabe.
James Kennison:
It’s called Belfi.
Jess:
I don’t know if you can handle this one. You can’t tell anyone, all right? Promise? Anyone know? I think Daddy knows. Does anyone else know? Like your friends? Your friends probably know. No. Okay. One summer, I think she does. Okay, so one summer, I went for a trip to Toronto to go work for a week for my Uncle Park, who is an accountant. Okay? So I was doing office work and stuff like that for him, right? And it was just him and I in the office. And so halfway through the week, I’m quite bored. I’ve kind of done all the stuff that I need to do, so I decide that it would be a good idea. So I did a bunch of photocopying the Photocopier Forum and stuff like that, right? So I’ve done all that and I’m bored. I’m looking for something to do and whatever. And I thought it might be funny if I photocopied my bum.
James Kennison:
So that.
Jess:
I could send a picture of my butt to my friends. Like I was actually going to mail it to them, right? And this is before our cell phones and text messaging, so it’s not like.
James Kennison:
I could send a mail.
Jess:
It just like a picture Gen X. Anyways, so I photocopy my bum, but then the photocopier stops working. It is jammed. It is not working anymore.
James Kennison:
Oh, no.
Jess:
So I’m like, oh, my goodness. What do I do?
James Kennison:
What do I do?
Jess:
So I have to tell my uncle that because I needed to start photocopying more, and the photocopier is not working anymore, right? So I went to my uncle and I said, okay, there’s something wrong with the photocopier. So he calls a repairman to come out to fix it. So he’s working away at it, trying to figure out what’s wrong with it, and he finally figures out the problem. So he calls my uncle, and I’m in the office at this point. So there’s three of us in the office. It’s the repair man, myself and my uncle park. So it boots up again and starts to print out whatever was jammed in there. Do you remember?
James Kennison:
What do you think?
Jess:
Printed out my butt. Picture of my butt printed out. So we’re all standing there in the office and I am mortified because I’m like I don’t know how that got there. How did that get there?
James Kennison:
Such a thing. So I didn’t say anything.
Jess:
I just kind of like but I.
James Kennison:
Think they knew it was broken when.
Jess:
I think they both knew that that.
James Kennison:
Was my butt they did on the paper.
Jess:
It wasn’t in color? No, it wasn’t in color. It was black and white.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
Jess:
Needless to say, my uncle never asked me back to work for him over the summer.
James Kennison:
Wonder why. Love it, love it, love it, love it. How she brought her daughter into it and told her the story. It’s like an interactive story, but they did it themselves. It’s so classic.
James Kennison:
It was jessica, thank you so much for that story. I work with a lot of copiers around here. I don’t think anyone has ever done that.
James Kennison:
I’d be afraid to, man. I’m a fat guy, so if I get up on a copier that glass is broke. Yeah.
James Kennison:
You don’t want it broken?
James Kennison:
No. You have to be under a certain weight. I don’t know what the weight limit is on tempered glass. I know it’s pretty high, but yeah, no, I’d hate to explain that at the emergency room. So what were you doing when you lacerated your butt cheeks? Believe it or not, I’ve never seen it before. I was taking a copy so I could see what’s going on down there.
James Kennison:
Have a doctor’s appointment and I just wanted to make sure it looked normal. And I don’t have a mirror.
James Kennison:
See if I need any makeup or yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. That is the oh, thanks, Jess. Appreciate it.
James Kennison:
Yes, thank you.
James Kennison:
Let’s do some news. Nuggets 5 million bees fall off the back of a truck in Ontario.
James Kennison:
Oh, no.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Police in Ontario called in several beekeepers for backup when approximately 5 million bees fell out of the back of a truck. The Halton Regional Police Service and officers were alerted about 06:15 a.m. That several boxes of bees had fallen from the back of a truck in Burlington. We’re not sure how or exactly what took place, but at some point the boxes containing the bees or beehive slid off the trailer and spilled all over the road. Several local beekeepers were summoned to the scene to help gather the estimated 5 million bees. Beekeeper Luke Peters said he and his yellow our fellow beekeepers, they’re not scared, they’re not yellow. Had to be extra careful during their efforts because the insects were agitated. It’s important for people to understand that honeybees are fairly gentle and don’t bother people unless they are bothered. This is a rare situation where you have to keep your distance from them, he said. Peter said locals can expect there to be a large number of bees in the area for a few days, probably 5 million. Police said the driver of the truck was cited for driving with an insecure load. And that’s the funniest part to me. Why did the bees fall off the truck? They were insecure. People my whole life have been telling me what to be and what not to be. Come on, guys. Are we in this? Are we going to do this or what? Who’s with me?
James Kennison:
I bet you the news was buzzing after that story wasn’t?
James Kennison:
Oh, man. Yeah, it was.
James Kennison:
I don’t like.
James Kennison:
Urge. You have to resist the urge. Florida man arrested for trying to pay for McDonald’s with Monopoly pieces. Oh, Florida man’s always up to something. A man in Florida was arrested after trying to pay for a McDonald’s meal with Monopoly. See, I read that, and I’m like, around St. Louis, he would just get laughed at and sent out of the know because I’ve been in a chicken place before. And the guy came up with his chicken tray, and he’s like, can I get a refill? And the lady just turned around and talked to the entire staff. She said, look at this fool trying to get a refill on chicken. He called him a fool, and he just walked away. Dejected.
James Kennison:
I guess I’ll leave now.
James Kennison:
So this must be I mean, Florida. It must be a nice part of Florida is all I’m saying. The man who has identified as 31 year old Michael Rembert wouldn’t you love your name to be out there as the guy that tried to buy McDonald’s with monopoly pieces? Anyway, he entered the McDonald’s and ordered a meal. And when he went to pay, he offered the cashier a handful of Monopoly pieces. Not even the money. Just here’s some here’s some priceless heirlooms. You guys like Monopoly, right? You’re McDonald’s. You play Monopoly every year. The cashier refused to accept the pieces, and here it is. Rembrandt became angry and started yelling, so he was sure that he was due some food off these dagger Monopoly pieces. He was eventually arrested by police.
James Kennison:
You know what makes me scared about this story is that maybe somebody actually did take the monopoly money and that’s why he didn’t have any monopoly money.
James Kennison:
To get have any more leftover.
James Kennison:
Yeah, he got a new maybe I.
James Kennison:
Can get away with the pieces. He’s like that paid for lunch yesterday, perhaps. Well, in Canada, there’s apparently a joke that their money is Monopoly money. Like, it looks like Monopoly money. It has colors and yeah, yeah, it’s.
James Kennison:
Very got your loonies and your yeah, yeah, for real.
James Kennison:
So anyway, we have a few announcements to make. Hats are available on Etsy.com. Subscribe to that story shows YouTube channel, if you will. If you have a YouTube account, if you surf YouTube or three, you can go there. And we’re Youtube.com at that story show, we’re doing great. We have grown 80 subscribers in just the last 20 days, and so we should be at 1000 downloads within a month. And things are just going to take off from there. But what we’re doing is doing YouTube shorts, and I’m very excited about those. We’re taking some of our best stories, condensing them down to 60 seconds or less, and telling them live. And it’s great. It’s fun. And it’s great for me because we’re getting a lot of great people from YouTube, because not everybody on YouTube is nice. Have you ever read comic sections on YouTube? They’re not nice. There’s a bunch of little kids, but.
James Kennison:
We are don’t read the comments.
James Kennison:
Our stories are pulling in the same kind of people that listen to this show. And I love it. I love it. So far, it’s great. And the feedback we’re getting is great. So check it out. Also, I want to talk about our theme show, Fears and Tears. We want to know about times you’ve scared somebody or somebody scared you. Also, times that somebody’s made you cry or you made somebody else cry in a humorous way. Of course. We don’t want to hear about the time you crashed into your mom and just annihilated her with a bicycle.
James Kennison:
That’s not fun.
James Kennison:
And you wounded her heart and she’s permanently damaged from all of it. So we don’t want to hear that. But anything else would be great. It’s time to jump into some listener stories. What’d you say? Where’d that come from? I don’t know. A dark place in my soul. First, a word from our sponsors. All right, it’s time to jump into some stories. John, if you ever want to know where the stuff comes from in my heart, it is a very dark place. It’s a place that I haven’t submitted to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
James Kennison:
I see. Yes. Well, I’m sure that we all own that place in our no, it’s it’s.
James Kennison:
Only the bad guys like me. Some people are perfect. Did you know haven’t you ever been to church and seen the perfect people?
James Kennison:
Those are the ones that scare me the most.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I agree.
James Kennison:
I look in the mirror every day and I have to remind myself that I’m not perfect.
James Kennison:
No, you’re a lot closer than I am. Speaking of religion, I forgot an update, a piece of an announcement. I have started a new podcast that I would like to share with everyone. It’s called? Not quite christlike. Try to say that three times fast, John.
James Kennison:
I won’t. I tried last time and it didn’t work.
James Kennison:
I can’t even say it once.
James Kennison:
Craig, if you say it with a weird voice, it might work.
James Kennison:
Yeah, not quite. It works like that. So if you do that but you can look it up in itunes, Google, iHeartRadio spotify anywhere you’re at not quite. Christlike is a show for those who struggle with their faith in Christianity whose relationship with Christ is not straightforward. The first episode is called Special needs Christian. It’s about Jacob struggling with the angel of the face of God and the limp that he took away from that experience and the struggle that he had and how struggle is strength. So if you’re someone that needs a pep talk and then I’ve already gotten so much good feedback. I read it on Gok, actually last night, so I’m excited. I was very insecure about doing a religious show, but it’s time. I used to be a pastor. So did you, John. It’s time.
James Kennison:
I was touched by it. Just so you know and so our audience knows, I appreciated the words you had to say.
James Kennison:
Well, I love touching you, John. So it’s good now. I don’t know if I can do the show. I feel so weird. I’m glad you were touched, John. That’s all I want to say.
James Kennison:
You know what? We can’t use that expression ever.
James Kennison:
No.
James Kennison:
Again, I think I need to re edit. I was blessed, brother James, by your blessed. You have ministered to my soul.
James Kennison:
Thank you so much.
James Kennison:
I’m going to send my offering to you.
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah, I did forget about that part too. Since it’s a ministry podcast, I need part of your tithe. Don’t send it to the church anymore. Send it right to me and you’ll be on my prayer list. And I will pray for you. At least pretend to, as far as you know.
James Kennison:
I will pray for be. Are you a prosperity kind of guy?
James Kennison:
I am. I’m also going to buy an air healer. I’m going to get Jen to get a big perm and a lot of makeup. We’re going all out. Going back to the going to hire an angel. Anyway, let’s do some stinking stories. What are we doing?
James Kennison:
We’re going to get in trouble.
James Kennison:
Not so secret stalker by Wes Richards in Manhattan, Kansas. While driving back from Colorado, we needed a bathroom break, so we stopped at a gas station and I went in to the restroom and I did my business. And then I went to wash my hands and there was a man next to me washing his hands. Now, I didn’t get any physical features of the man because you know the rules of the bathroom. You don’t look at anyone. That’s exactly right.
James Kennison:
No eye contact.
James Kennison:
No, you don’t talk at all.
James Kennison:
That’s right.
James Kennison:
I started to walk out of the bathroom elevator, but the man started to walk out of the bathroom too, and he started to follow me. So I started to pick up my pace and I did some maneuvers around the racks in the store, but the guy maneuvered along with me and would not stop following me. And when I made it to the door, I just flat out sprinted to the car and I heard a high laugh from my dad. It was my freaking dad the whole time. I tried to laugh it off, but secretly I had been scared for my life because I thought I was going to get kidnapped at the Dagham truck stop. Wes Richards I just wanted to get some beef jerky. Manhattan, Kansas I did something very similar to my daughter accidentally on the way to dropping her off at college. She on the back of her car wrote, I’m going to college. Cash app me. And then she put her Cash app name. And it was Jenna with another A and then something else. And this whole thing. And me and Jen were driving separate. So we pull off the highway. And what do you know, there I see the green Kia story with her name on the back. And she gets out of the car and I go, hey, Jenna. And she jumped straight in the air. And I realized immediately what I had done. She didn’t recognize it as her dad. This comforting, wonderful voice. She thought it was some random dude that saw her name on the back of the car. And she was in trouble. So I was too ashamed to go to her and apologize. I just told Jen, just somehow tell her that I’m sorry.
James Kennison:
She’s going to have her own podcast one day and talk about how when she was headed to college, she got this scary voice person that shouted out her name. And she probably it’s going to be called Podcast Kid.
James Kennison:
The Dark Side.
James Kennison:
The Dark Side.
James Kennison:
Yeah, that’s what it is. Oh, man. Speaking of which, she’s coming home this weekend for 24 hours. 24 hours?
James Kennison:
How long does it take to drive up there?
James Kennison:
2 hours. But she’s staying one day. And I doubt her parents are being thought of in this 24 hours period. We’re just going to provide a place for her to stay. Free airbnb. She’s probably going to be going and doing everything with her friends. Food to eat.
James Kennison:
I’m sure be lucky to see her. Yeah. Well, you know what? You should hold out some kind of stipulation. Like, if you want us to help you with your college, then you have to spend X amount of time with us.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I’m sure that’ll work.
James Kennison:
Because yeah, it won’t. That’s terrible advice.
James Kennison:
If you hold onto a bird and squeeze it, it will love you forever. Yeah. It just settles right in. It loves that crap. Loves that forced affection.
James Kennison:
Yeah, but if you let it go, it’ll fly away.
James Kennison:
It’ll fly away. Never freaking come back again, ever. That bird is gone. That bird will flip you a bird as it’s leaving is what it is.
James Kennison:
Anyway, go ahead.
James Kennison:
Read us the story, John.
James Kennison:
OK. Well, this comes to us from Matthew Harrison all the way out in Concord, North Carolina. And this is my dirty mind. Like the man of integrity that I am, I have waited 28 years and have moved 3000 miles away from my home in England before telling this story. Should I read this in a different voice?
James Kennison:
No.
James Kennison:
Okay, I won’t. I was just joking about I don’t.
James Kennison:
Have a good English voice.
James Kennison:
Of course, I feel it’s finally time to be released from the spanking room.
James Kennison:
Oh, James. Love it. Love it. Great.
James Kennison:
The spanking room. Firstly, in my defense, I didn’t become a quote unquote born again Christian until two years after this incident. I was 21 at the time.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
So after a busy morning at work, it was break time and I made my way to the break room. I grabbed some coffee and I sat down. The room was filling up quickly. My friend Rebecca grabbed her coffee and sat next to me. We began chatting and exchanging pleasantries. Rebecca has a skirt on that came to her knees. That’s right. Right. Yeah, that’s that’s good.
James Kennison:
Yeah, that’s proper. That’s proper these days. Yes. Cheerio job. It’s proper.
James Kennison:
And what’s the word that you use when you’re modest? Modest. Modest to the knees. I noticed that she had some marks on her legs. I asked her what they were and if she was okay. They’re carpet burns, she replied. What happened next I can only describe as the worst three minutes of my life. Being the obnoxious and loud young man that I was, I proceeded to say at the top of my voice, oh.
James Kennison:
Carpet burns, you say? Carpet burns are really carpet burns. I have to read episode of The Know. The British Office. It’s terrible. All right. Yeah.
James Kennison:
He said that all in an English voice because England is his home town, his own country. So I read it wrong, but that’s okay because I was told not to. I repeated this several times in the voice of Ricky Gervais. By now, everyone in the staff room had gone silent and was looking at us. Rebecca was staring silently at the floor. Any normal, mature person would have stopped here.
James Kennison:
You didn’t know.
James Kennison:
But I was not mature at all, so I carried on.
James Kennison:
Carpet burns, eh? Carpet burns, you say? Oh, so go on then, tell us. Tell us. So what happened to these carpet burns?
James Kennison:
Very quietly, while still looking at the floor, Rebecca finally said, I’m epileptic. I had a seizure. On the inside of my soul, I died. But on the outside on the outside, the only words I could say were oh, sorry. To ease my pain, I would have accepted without complaint a one way trip to Hades. And to make matters worse, this was a young woman I was trying to impress.
James Kennison:
You ruined that.
James Kennison:
Yep. I put this down to the most spectacular crash and burn known to mankind.
James Kennison:
Goodness.
James Kennison:
I never drank a scolding cup of coffee so quickly in my life just so I could leave the room. I have to clarify, I didn’t leave England because of this story.
James Kennison:
Although I freaking would have been on the plane that evening.
James Kennison:
Yeah. It’s like, well, I can’t live here anymore. I’m gone.
James Kennison:
The whole country is ruined. The whole country knows about the whole empire.
James Kennison:
My stupid, mean self. It would have been an acceptable reason. However, I left when I met my wife. Several years later. My wife doesn’t know this story, and to my knowledge, she doesn’t listen to this podcast.
James Kennison:
Mrs. Harrison. Hey, Mrs. Harrison.
James Kennison:
So let’s just keep it between us, eh?
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Sorry. Matthew. There’s a thing that happens with that story show. Once you claim something and say it out loud to the world, they find this will be the very first episode that your wife finds.
James Kennison:
Yep.
James Kennison:
And so will that lady that you made fun of in England.
James Kennison:
She’s going to call you, man. She’s going to hit you up on Facebook. Thanks for making fun of my epilepsy. Good. Thanks. What was that? What you doing down on the carpet, eh? Having an epileptic seizure. I’m epileptic.
James Kennison:
I had a seizure.
James Kennison:
That’s like the time I was at the grocery story and I’m bagging groceries and I don’t know what came over me. I just thought everything I said was hilarious. Apparently, at the time, I had no filter. And this lady and her daughter were checking out, and I looked at the mother and I said, you know your daughter’s pregnant, right? And she looked up slowly at me and she says, yes, I know, but who told you? So not only was her daughter actually pregnant, it was so recent that they were still keeping it a secret so bad. It’s so cringe. Oh, my gosh. To this day, I am 50 years old. I was probably 16 at the time. So stupid.
James Kennison:
That is an embarrassing but maybe that was actually the Holy Spirit speaking to you to use that knowledge, to give her some comfort, and you accidentally used it in the wrong way.
James Kennison:
You might have a gift. Jane. What? You think anything holy was being done during that time? You’re a better man than mean.
James Kennison:
I don’t know.
James Kennison:
There was a ghost, all right? But it was the ghost of a chance that I was about to get. Oh, goodness gracious. All right, I got a story called Wii Catastrophe. Ethan Kodovis from Miami, Florida. Hey, James and John, I’m a senior in high school and I have a story for you. When I was seven years old, my favorite game was Wii Sports Bowling. Everybody’s was, oh, there are still old people that play that old, and I’m talking about in the old folks homes. But I considered myself a very good player and often played by myself to improve my technique. My parents had always told me, hey, wear the wrist strap. But I sometimes decided to ignore that information. Of course, one day I was playing in the living room and having a great time, and my brother was sitting on the couch, and my mom and dad were in the other room. Well, my game was going very well, but then disaster struck. I bent my arm back. I threw it forward. I had done countless times before, but this time I didn’t just throw my arm forward. I watched in slow motion as the controller flew across the room straight at the TV. It smashed into the screen and the game disappeared into a blue screen. This TV was cracked and I stood in silence, staring at my destruction. My mom heard the noise and called what was going on and she came in the room and saw the damage. She didn’t even need to ask what happened because she was very familiar with my stupidity. She didn’t yell. She just walked me into the room that my dad was in. Oh, boy. Oh no. I’m not going to kill you. But he is.
James Kennison:
I’m not going to be an accessory to this.
James Kennison:
Yeah, your dad’s going to jail, not me. Now, for some context, my dad had just had surgery on his back and he was lying in bed most of the time, high on painkillers. So when my mom and I walked in, he asked what happened, and my mom explained the fact that I just destroyed the TV. I waited for punishment and scolding, but it never came. My dad looked at me with his stoned expression and said, that’s fine, I’ll just buy us a new TV. And my mom and I looked at each other, stunned, but I didn’t complain because I was still alive.
James Kennison:
Two days wanted a new TV anyway.
James Kennison:
Yeah, he did. Two days later, there was a knock at the door and a man brought a brand new TV in. We’ve had that TV for almost eleven years now. My dad jokes that I should break it just so we could get a new one. Hope you enjoyed this story and hope it makes it on the show. Aaron Ethan Rather Cadovas, Miami, Florida. Thank you so much for your story. Good.
James Kennison:
Well, congratulations to Mr. Cadovis for the brand new TV. And, you know, the Wii is not so much in style these days and so I guess it’s not going to be getting a new TV anytime soon, right?
James Kennison:
I still have my yeah, yeah, I do. It’s packed up. But I’m like, I’m never getting rid of a console again because they always come back around and people want them.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
My wife never had a problem throwing the controller. She always had a problem getting too close to the TV and swiping and striking the screen. Yes. And so I used to put a Tickle Me Elmo between her and the screen so that when she kicked that Elmo stepping forward, it would start laughing and it would tell her, hey, you’re too close. You’re moving forward subconsciously. And I’d love to say that it was a great idea. It was. But ultimately it didn’t.
James Kennison:
Well, the sad thing is that you bought that Elmo just for that situation, right?
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah. It wasn’t for me. At.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Tickle Me Elmo.
James Kennison:
Do you remember the website, we have a Problem? It was basically all pictures and videos of people destroying their televisions and each other because of not using the Wii remote.
James Kennison:
No, I’d never heard of that.
James Kennison:
Oh, yeah, it was Wii. W I have a problem. I think it might still exist. Who knows? On the web somewhere.
James Kennison:
Cool.
James Kennison:
But you know what? I got a goat. Okay, evelh so I got a goat. So in 6th grade, everyone was telling me I should get a boyfriend. I told a boy I liked him. Yeah, okay. No, I told a boy I liked him and he liked me. We started passing notes back and forth during reading. I sat by the turn in tray and he sat by the pencil sharpener. The relationship bound to happen.
James Kennison:
It really helped things move forward. Whenever he wanted to see her, he’d get I ain’t got to turn in my paperwork.
James Kennison:
My heart go sharpen my pencil.
James Kennison:
I’m going to sharpen my pencil over here.
James Kennison:
My pencil is dull.
Jess:
I keep breaking the table.
James Kennison:
Take forever. Just file it down till it’s an inch tall.
James Kennison:
Yeah. So Evil says we would pass notes whenever we needed to at any time. The point was that he would express his undying love for me in every note. I thought it was awkward, but I never had a boyfriend before, so I went with it. I kept every single one of my notes in my coat. Then after a few months of this, he sent me a picture of his goat and broke up with me.
James Kennison:
Wow.
James Kennison:
That’s a way to go.
James Kennison:
Sorry, I got a new girlfriend. She’s a goat.
James Kennison:
Evil Evelyn. Evelyvel says I was over it, but a few years later, my little sister wore that same coat to school. She went through the pockets at recess and proceeded to read the notes to.
James Kennison:
Everyone in her class.
James Kennison:
Then, to add injury to insult, she.
James Kennison:
Started dating my ex boyfriend’s little brother, who was in her class.
James Kennison:
And the next day, I made her promise not to tell my parents.
James Kennison:
Lulls oh, goodness. Yeah, I think that’s middle school drama. Dang it.
Jess:
Move out of the way, stupid.
James Kennison:
No, I used the wrong voice for that, didn’t I?
James Kennison:
That’s fine. It’s fine. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with all that. It’s a lot to unpack.
James Kennison:
It is. Because the goat and the notes?
James Kennison:
Yeah. Why would you send a picture of your goat to the girl but you have no room to talk? You broke up with a girl in full clown costume.
James Kennison:
If I could relive that moment, I wouldn’t do that. It made for a great story, apparently. But I feel so bad about being an idiot. And that’s just one of the ways I proved that I am one.
James Kennison:
I guess.
James Kennison:
Sorry.
James Kennison:
Do you like going to. The dentist, John? No, neither does anyone. I do, really? I know I’m weird. I know. I like people picking around in my mouth. I like the scraping. I even enjoy being flossed.
James Kennison:
You’re making my teeth know.
James Kennison:
I know I’m a weirdo.
James Kennison:
No, it’s not just it’s strange.
James Kennison:
Yeah? Yeah. You remember that scene in Little Shop of Horrors where the guy is a dentist and he’s evil?
James Kennison:
Steve Martin.
James Kennison:
Yeah, Steve Martin is an evil dentist. But there’s a guy that comes in and he’s totally down with everything that the guy wants to do and it freaks him out and he kicks him out. Yeah, I’m that guy.
James Kennison:
It’s funny, I never thought about I.
James Kennison:
Never thought about that. I don’t want pain or anything, but I don’t know, I’m like you got to drill down in there. Go for no, thank you. It’s just a weird thing for me. Don’t stop listening to the show just because of that. Okay.
James Kennison:
Caleb Waller, you’re a braver soul than I, let’s just say that.
James Kennison:
Caleb Waller from Commerce Township, Michigan. The story is called Dastardly Dentist. I had two teeth that were loose, but they hadn’t come out in about a year. So I went to the dentist for them to check it out and the dentist figured out that inside of both teeth they had completely disappeared. And now there was only a shell of these two teeth. Yeah.
James Kennison:
He had hollow teeth.
James Kennison:
Yeah. He explained to me and my mom about the two shells and he said he would need to look a little more. So he told me to open my mouth wider. And without telling me or my mom he happily ripped both of the teeth out without numbing them. Why? It hurts so bad like that. And I struggled I don’t like going to test. I struggled to keep from crying and I had to have an annoying gauze in my mouth for the day. The good part is that I got a prescription cherry ice cream. Such a thing existed.
James Kennison:
I need to go to that dentist, then. If they’re writing prescriptions for cherry ice cream come on, you can grab a.
James Kennison:
Tooth out for some ice cream. But it was only the beginning of many visits to the dentist. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story. I hope it makes it on the show. Caleb Baller, Commerce Township, Michigan. That is wrong, man. I had a dentist, though, one time. I will say that was so evil. He was so evil, I had to have a wisdom tooth taken out and he numbed me up and he cracked that tooth in half like they do, and something slipped and my mouth started bleeding. And instead of apologizing or being careful or anything, he yelled at me. Do you want me to stop this right now and leave you like this? Or do you want to sit still? And tears are coming out of my face. I’m looking at the assistant and she’s looking at me like, I’m so sorry. We all hate him, too. He was horrible, absolutely horrible. And if I had had what I know now, then I would be like, yeah, freaking stop right in the middle and I’ll sue your butt in the next week. Oh, man. But, no, I accepted it. I was young. I was 2021 22.
James Kennison:
This happened to you in your 20s.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Dennis talked to you like you were a five year old in your 20s.
James Kennison:
He was such a butt.
James Kennison:
I don’t think there’s a statute of limitations. You could probably sue him.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Let’s get any lawyers that enjoy our show. You’re looking for some pro bono work, james@nlcast.com he’ll take your comments about, yeah.
James Kennison:
I’d love to jump back into that part of my life and stir it up and face that guy down. It would be great.
James Kennison:
You meet up with him, he’d be.
James Kennison:
Like, I was thinking about you my whole life. I feel so terrible I said that to you. Please forgive me.
James Kennison:
And then you’d be like, no. Lawsuit time, buddy.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Stand up out of that wheelchair, sir. I’m not going to slap a cripple, okay? I deserve it. I deserve it. All right, it is time for us to find our story contest winner. All right. There’s a lot of good stories here today. Caleb, of course, sent one dastardly dentist. I got a goat, we catastrophe, my dirty mind and Wes Richardson and not so secret stalker. As much as I hate to admit it, I like carpet burns. And that’s going to get my vote for today because that is the most embarrassing, horrible thing.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I could feel that. Oh, man. You know what? I’ll second that.
James Kennison:
Okay. All right.
James Kennison:
I second that with my whole heart.
James Kennison:
All right, Matt.
James Kennison:
I like the fact that it came from an English mate.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Matthew Harrison from Concord, North Carolina, you have won our $50 weekly story contest giveaway. Hey, you know what you can do here at the end. We like to talk about our patrons. You can support us for ad free listening swag and weekly bonus content. We’re about to record some right now, patreon.com thatstoryshow the show is free, right. And there’s no pressure, but if you have $3, $5, $10 a month to throw our way, we would appreciate it. And I feel like you get more in return than what you will be giving. So at least try it out. You can try it for seven days for free. Over@patreon.com thatstoryshow, pick any of the tiers and you will get access to immediately to our bonus content. If it’s your thing, just keep on keeping on and your subscription will start after seven days. If it’s not your thing, unsubscribe. Boom, you’re gone. We never knew you were there. We won’t hate you anymore at all. If you’re more of a one time donation person, then buy us a lemon@nlcast.com. Lemon. All right, now it’s time to get out of here. Surely you have a funny life story and you could use 50 extra bucks. Send that story into the show. Submit your story@thatstoryshow.com where you can get links to our twitter, our instagram, our facebook and our discord chat. We’re also on discord. Did I say that? No, I didn’t. Yes, I did. I meant to say we’re on reddit. So if you’re a reddit person, just look up nlcast. Love the show. Spread that love by leaving a review in itunes. Those things help us a lot if you’re like. What can we do? I don’t have any money to give. Leave us a review in itunes. Special thanks to our producers james spangler, Kerry Wright and Christopher tynan. And remember, if something weird, painful or embarrassing happens to you, don’t get stressed. Don’t get depressed. Just think, hey, this belongs on that story show. We’ll see you guys next week. Thanks. And don’t forget about the fears and tears theme show. Send your stuff in that storyshow@gmail.com. We’ll see you guys. Peace. Peace. You thought I had rug burns, but I had a major issue.
James Kennison:
You thought that.
James Kennison:
You laughed at me. You made me grab a tissue. I cried all day and I cried all night because you accused me of doing stuff like the horizontal fight. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m glad you left the country for a brand new shore. And now you told the secret and I’m going to find you. I’m going to knock you out with the bottom of my shoe oh.
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In this episode, I provide family updates, share insights about my mental and physical well-being, including thoughts on my counselor and coach, and read inspiring feedback about my latest podcast, Not Quite Christlike. Tune in for all the details!
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The post 187: Not Quite Christlike appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
This week’s edition includes stories of children dreaming about driving cars, fascinating facts about octopuses, a new and bizarre word, and much more.
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Today we’re thrilled to introduce our guest, David Studebaker. Known for his uplifting comedy, music, and personal stories, David has a new comedy special called “Oracle of Dry Bar” and has been featured on various platforms such as SiriusXM, Fox, ABC, and the San Francisco Chronicle.
“Toilet Water Trauma,” comes from Eden, a storyteller from Helena, Montana. Eden shares a hilarious tale of the time she unknowingly flushed the toilet after someone had already clogged it and the lengths she went to trying to keep it from her mom.
446: Stuff That Didn’t Fit on the Show
Check out David Studebaker // Twitter // Facebook // Tiktok // Instagram
David’s special: David’s Ark
David’s Book: Lone Star Lance – Kindle // Amazon // Audible
James Kennison:
Hey, podcast people. This is that story show where funny, real life stories take the spotlight. It’s episode 446, brought to you the week of August 24, 2023. I’m your host. My name is James Kinnison, and my good friend is here.
David Studebaker:
Hey.
James Kennison:
He’S mostly here. His slim is here.
John Steinklauber:
Yeah, I’m here.
James Kennison:
Wow. Where did that come from? That’s awkward.
John Steinklauber:
I’m sorry. Totally ruined the joke that I was going to tell you.
James Kennison:
Should have practiced talking before you get on the podcast. Do your pun. Come on, do your joke.
John Steinklauber:
Hey, James, did you I got a food fact for you. It’s more of a food.
James Kennison:
Okay. Okay.
John Steinklauber:
So French fries weren’t originally cooked in France. Yeah, they’re cooked in god greek fries. I hate that joke. I hate it right now. But I love french fries.
James Kennison:
I took all the joke sound effects out of the sound effects launcher. So the butam bump is gone and so is the Wonk Wonk WA. So you earned one. How about this one? People laughing, but not really. Yeah, I still kept Greece.
John Steinklauber:
Those Greek fries, they’ll do it to you.
James Kennison:
We have to do this. We have to introduce our guest. He has been wowing audiences for over ten years, blending uplifting comedy, music, personal stories and pop culture into his interactive shows. He has a new comedy special called Oracle of Drybar on Drybar, of course. He’s a regular on Sirius XM. He’s been featured on Fox, ABC, San Francisco Chronicle. He emcees award shows. He’s won best director for his documentary called David’s Arc. He’s written a hilarious mystery novel called Lone Star Lance. He lives in La with his wife, two sons and his dogs. Introducing the one and only David Studebaker. Welcome to the show.
David Studebaker:
Thank you. Thank you. Very excited to be here. Thank you. Thank you.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Look at all the stuff he’s done. What have you done with your day, John?
John Steinklauber:
Nothing. Nothing at day.
James Kennison:
I spent the day stalking David Studebaker online.
David Studebaker:
Nice.
James Kennison:
How you doing, man? Welcome to the show.
David Studebaker:
Thank you. Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here. This is an honor. It’s not every day that you get to hang out with your which I know this may not be for the audio or the visual, but your discord room. Bunch of great people. I may gendered one of them, that’s fine. But you know what? They’re great people. And the profile picture, there was a man directly in the middle. What am I going to do? You know what? That’s fine. Great to be here.
James Kennison:
Well, we always start with an opening story. This one’s called toilet water trauma. It’s from Eden in Helena, Montana. I hope I’m saying that right. This is Eden. And I wanted to tell you about the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. It started on a regular, completely ordinary day at home. I had a feeling that I had to relieve myself, so I went to the bathroom, and after finishing going, as you do, I flushed the toilet. But little did I know that someone else before me had clogged the toilet. You know the kind of clog that you can’t see until you flush the toilet and the water goes up instead of going down? Yeah. It started overflowing all over the floor. I knew I had to clean up the water before I got my parents help, so I reached in the cupboard to get some towels to soak up the mess. But to my shock, there were no towels in the cupboard. All that I could do was find a washcloth. There was a freaking rug and a hand towel. There was so much standing water on the floor that the water completely penetrated and soaked everything I tried to put down. I completely panicked. I knew I couldn’t just casually walk downstairs and be like, hey, mom, how are you doing? Guess what? There’s a quarter inch of water in the bathroom. No. I had to clean up the water any way possible. So I looked down at my clothes and I said to myself, with great honor comes great sacrifice. I proceeded to take off my clothes, throw them on the floor, and attempt to soak up the water.
David Studebaker:
That’s how you do it.
James Kennison:
Full commitment. 100%. The water entirely soaked my clothes and they didn’t even help. They didn’t do anything. I gave up on the idea of cleaning the water. I figured I’ll just run to my room real quick, right across the hall, no big deal. Get some clothes and go get mom. And just as I was about to make my little streak across the hall, the worst thing possible happened. My dad comes clomping upstairs. So now, running to my room, family is not an option. So dad would see me. Dad would see me. He saw me my whole freaking childhood. But now, suddenly, it’s a big deal. So I looked down at my sopping clothes and I got an idea. This is where it gets really crazy. I grabbed my soaked clothes off the floor and I put them back on. That’s gross. Sorry, Eden. That’s gross.
John Steinklauber:
What’s the saying, James?
James Kennison:
Once it goes into a certain thing, it belongs to that thing. Like if you had a tooth fallout, like a crown or something, and it fell into poop, it now belongs to the poop. You can’t clean it and put it back in. And once clothes go into peebee water, it belongs to the sewers now.
David Studebaker:
Well, actually, can I make an argument?
James Kennison:
Yes.
David Studebaker:
Urine is sterile. Urine to me, different ballgame poop. If there’s diarrhea or poop or poop remnants, that’s when it’s been claimed. Urine sterile. Not worried?
James Kennison:
No. We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on urine because also depends.
David Studebaker:
On whose urine too. If it’s my own urine not worried about know. I mean, there’s people who pee on themselves for fun. People drink their own pee.
James Kennison:
I know. And they’re crazy.
David Studebaker:
I am in los angeles we do crazy things.
James Kennison:
You know, I just imagine her suiting up like freaking iron man. All these wet clothes slopping on her body. But anyway, so now I can’t run to my room. Dad would see me. So I looked down at my sopping clothes. I got an idea. I grabbed them off the floor, put them back on. I ran to my room and changed into fresh non wet clothes but left them on the daggum floor to stink up the carpet. Then I told mom about the situation upstairs. So don’t put on wet toilet water clothes. My friends. I’m probably still contaminated with toilet water over 99% of my body. That’s my story. Hope it makes it on the show. Eaten from helena, montana. Thank you so much for your story. That was amazing.
John Steinklauber:
Yes. Congratulations.
James Kennison:
Good job. Honestly, it’s very rare that a story makes me laugh out loud. When I read that, I was in here by myself laughing my butt off. And then I was laughing at the put the water clothes in the water and then she freaking puts them back on that’s next level.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, that’s the twist. That is the twist. Wow.
James Kennison:
Dedication.
John Steinklauber:
Well done.
David Studebaker:
What I want to know is, I mean, those must have been some very disciplinary parents because yeah.
James Kennison:
She was so scared.
David Studebaker:
You got to be really afraid of those parents. Yeah. I’ll put on poop clothes just to not have them be mad at me.
James Kennison:
That’s true. There are children that have probably died because their friends saw them get injured and they’re more worried about telling mom than getting their friend.
David Studebaker:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Sounds like a stephen king novel.
John Steinklauber:
Sorry fault.
James Kennison:
It’s kind of dark.
John Steinklauber:
She didn’t clog the toilet. Somebody else did it.
David Studebaker:
Yes also good point again. Very good point.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Let’s do some news. Nuggets suburban detroit woman says she found a live frog in a spinach container. This comes from Sutherfield, michigan. A woman in southfield michigan rather got a fright when she discovered a live frog in a pack of spinach from a local grocery store. Hey, it sounds like cereal box in the yes get a free pet. Yeah, you get a free pet. Amber warrock purchased the sealed spinach package from a store. Her daughter found the live frog inside and screamed. She returned the package and the frog to the store to get a full refund because if you don’t bring back the frog, you’re not going to get all your money back.
John Steinklauber:
She’d get a bonus.
James Kennison:
The frog was released by the store workers. Here’s the kick, though. The michigan department of agriculture and rural development now is expressing concern because they couldn’t confirm if the frog was a freaking native to the state. You know what? If it’s not, it’s going to die lonely, so why does it even matter? Anyway, the incident was reported to the US FDA. Taylor Farms, the owner of Earthbound Farm, apologized and empathized their commitment to quality veggies and slimy pets. No, I added that part.
John Steinklauber:
Quality pest free veggies.
James Kennison:
So, kids, if you want a new friend, you heard it, taylor Farms. That’s the kind of spinach you want.
David Studebaker:
I will say as a once again FRU FRU Californian who is obsessed with his who literally and this is true when I’m in a new town again, my buddy James, who’s my opener, who’s a very strong man, unlike me. He makes fun because my happy place. When I get to a new town to perform, the first thing I do is if they have a Whole Foods, I go there and it gets me into my happy place and I feel comfortable. So that being said, I am that annoying person. However, the organic, organic, like Earthbound Farms and some of the other organic companies, their labeling for things, the Virtue signaling on their labeling annoys me so much, they’ll probably start putting no frogs in this. There was a laundry detergent, eco friendly laundry detergent. And I swear to you it had a stamp on it that said certified gluten free.
James Kennison:
Wow.
David Studebaker:
Who is that?
James Kennison:
That’s for the tide.
David Studebaker:
Pod chicken.
John Steinklauber:
Certified.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, but if you’re kicking back tall glasses of laundry detergent, I think you have bigger problems than gluten. Okay? Are there people eating? Like people with celiac disease? There’s just tons of people with celiac disease who wash their clothes and then eat them. Like my socks. Benedict has gluten in it. Get me the EpiPen, honey. It’s really crazy. They really need to relax. And I swear there’s going to be a frog. There’s going to be a frog label. Now, I promise you, they will have a frog.
James Kennison:
100% frog free.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, exactly. Certified frog free.
James Kennison:
Delayed passengers growl after a bear escapes from a crate in a cargo hold of an Iraqi plane in Dubai. Before I begin, I fly southwest to avoid the possibility of ever being on the same plane with a freaking bear. That’s all I’m going to say.
John Steinklauber:
Wait, they put a bear on the tail on that oh, that’s frontier. Never mind.
James Kennison:
Yeah. Baghdad Iraqi’s prime minister has ordered an investigation the prime minister into how a bear escaped from his crate in the cargo hold of an Iraqi aircraft as it was due to depart from Dubai airport, leaving passengers disgruntled over the delay and causing a stir in social media.
David Studebaker:
You have to pay extra on Spirit Airlines just to not have the bear next to you. It’s an upcharge.
James Kennison:
Yeah, you can buy spinach. You get a frog, you get on airplane, you get a free bear. The bear experience extra. We won’t give you a glass of water, but you get to come pet the bear during the flight. Airways said it wasn’t to blame for the bear’s escape. The bear did it. He had a little lock pick set. The crew worked with authorities in the United Emirates, which dispatched specialists did you know you could specialize in removing a bear from a plane? You can, because there are specialists who sedated the animal and removed it from the plane. A video clip circulating on social media showed the plane’s captain apologizing to passengers. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. We’d like to let you know that if you look out your right, the bear is asleep and it is being moved right along with all your baggage. And the baggage he ate will be getting off the ground in just about 15 minutes. Thank you for holding. They got to take off delay because the bear’s escaped from its crate in the cargo hold. All that bummer around and growling you hear, that is a bear. In accordance with the law and procedures and standards approved by the International Air Transport Association, the bear was carried out. So apparently they had freaking rules and regs in effect that weren’t followed. That led to the Prime Minister of the whole country to get involved.
John Steinklauber:
Could you imagine, Prime Minister? I mean, how big of a bear was.
James Kennison:
It? Was it like a, you know, Dubai? I have to imagine it’s somebody rich that owns it. Maybe it rode a ball. Maybe it was a circus bear. Maybe it had a little vest on. I don’t know. He’s my pet man.
John Steinklauber:
Keep him in a little crate like they keep the dogs in.
James Kennison:
The freaking crate was useless because the bear got out. Yeah, we got a couple of announcements I need to get through real quick. Hats are available. Etsy.com nlcast get them while they last. I say that because I want it to seem like they’re going fast. I’m not selling a freaking one of them. I mean, they were popular for a minute. Now I got two boxes of hats. Buy a freaking hat. Etsy.com. Nocast. If you love me, you’ll do it. Subscribe to that story show’s YouTube channel youtube.com slash at symbol that story show. We’re doing shorts a couple, three times a week and they’re fun and entertaining. If you love what we do here, you’ll absolutely love what we’re doing on YouTube. So check that out. And then theme show. Remember our theme show? We’re going to wait until we get enough content for it and then we’ll put it on. So you’ve got time, but do it now. Fears and tears. So let me just elaborate. If you have ever scared the crap out of somebody, or somebody’s scared the crap out of you, we want those stories. We also want times you’ve made somebody cry and times somebody’s made you cry. You can think back. Everybody’s got that third grade story on the playground. You might not think it’s funny, but I’m just wicked enough to think it is, so please do that for me. It’s time for us to get into our featured story time.
David Studebaker:
Let me tell y’all story. Let me tell y’all story.
James Kennison:
First, a quick word from our sponsors. All right, David, I’m gonna ask you some questions. Are you ready?
David Studebaker:
I’m ready.
James Kennison:
It’s a quiz, but it’s about you, so you probably know all the answers.
David Studebaker:
I hope so.
James Kennison:
All right.
John Steinklauber:
I hope you studied.
James Kennison:
So tell me about your poop makers.
David Studebaker:
Well, I have four of them. I have two dogs and a baby and a four year old. And they’re both boys. They’re both big boys. So my entire life is poop. It’s just a constant flow of poop. I only do stand up just to get away from the poop, just to escape for a couple of hours from the onslaught. But, yeah, no, they’re so I have a four year old and the baby, my four year old, my wife calls him mini Me because we’re best friends during COVID He was like a baby during the initial shutdown, and so I was just home all the time, and she was working at the time, so I was his primary caretaker for the first year of his life. And so he and I are extremely bonded, and his personality is very similar to mine. So, yeah, he’s a sweetheart, even though he’s bigger and stronger than me already at age four. And then the baby is wonderful mischievous and too smart for his own good. It’s going to be a problem. It already is a problem. You shouldn’t have a one year old outsmarting you on a regular basis.
James Kennison:
Oh, man, they are so slick. They’re so slick.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, and he gives looks like he’s got the eyes of, like, a 55 year old anarchist.
John Steinklauber:
Watching you.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, but I love being a dad, and they’re a true blessing.
James Kennison:
Wow. I think the Menendez brothers had those kind of eyes when they were babies. Watch out.
David Studebaker:
Wow. Hopefully not that level. Hopefully just more subverting. Whatever we want him to do.
John Steinklauber:
Just lock your door when you go to sleep.
David Studebaker:
Okay? Yeah, clearly.
James Kennison:
Or lock his unless he’s as good as a bear, and then it won’t work. So tell me about your dogs. What kind of dogs do you have?
David Studebaker:
I have a Jack Russell papillon mix, and I have a Yorkie poo. Extremely non masculine dogs.
James Kennison:
Yeah, no, that’s fine. Little Yorkie poo. My mother is a dog breeder, and so I know about the accident called the Yorkie poo. I know about that.
David Studebaker:
It shouldn’t be an accident. That dog, I will say, even though I make fun of, he is the perfect dog, in my opinion, because he’s hypoallergenic. He’s like, 15 pounds. He likes to play, but he will lay on you for, like, 15 hours straight. Whatever you want to do, he does. He is the most well behaved, just perfect. The other one, the Jack Russell, she’s a little crazy. Okay. Because she’s got papyam and there was some weird breeding that was going on. So one vet said she might actually have fox in her because of the way her teeth, like, the shape of her teeth. She’s like we’ll walk by, literally in our old complex, there’d be like this really drunk guy. He’d walk around and multiple times over the course of the couple of years when we were there, he’d walk by and just look at her and be like, what kind of dog is that? And then he would just walk away confused, because she’s gorgeous, but she has blue eyes and a bushy tail or like a lawn flowing tail, but she’s all white with spots and the big pappy on ears. And she even will hunt like a fox when you take her and my other dog to the park, if the other dog gets far away, she will get into a crouch position. And foxes, when they hunt, they crouch and then they pounce on and she will stalk him and then hop and pounce. And when she was a baby, she would make the fox distress noise when fox babies are so you have the.
James Kennison:
Answer to what’s the fox say, right? I do.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, I know. Totally. But she’s definitely like I mean, she’s still sweet, but definitely different ballgame. But the Yorkie poo, if I was going to pick, like, the perfect mix for me, yorkie poo.
James Kennison:
Love them. Awesome. Tell me your journey story from what you did before comedy to where you are now. Just go be awesome.
David Studebaker:
Well, thank you. The funny thing about my journey in stand up is I started doing stand up full time when I was 19. Oh, wow. Yeah, my journey started when I was six years old and a dentist put a filling on the wrong tooth. That was when and then the brace. I had braces twice. So basically I had a lot of health problems growing up. And as a kid, I was a really good basketball player. And my best friend growing up, who, he actually plays professional basketball now, but it was both of our dreams to become professional basketball players. But as he got bigger and blacker and I got skinnier and wider, it was very clear one of us had a future. I was much better at making fun of the people he was dunking on than actually playing, but I had a lot of health problems, especially in middle school. So I would watch Stay Up Late, I’d watch a lot of stand up and old sitcoms. And then I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area, and my aunt and uncle live in San Francisco, so they would take me to The Punchline. When I was like 14, they started taking me. And if anyone doesn’t know, the Punchline is one of the more legendary clubs in the country. And to me, it’s the perfect comedy club. But what was funny is the first comic I ever saw live, I sat front row for Bobby Slayton, which I don’t know if you guys are you familiar basically he’s an old comic, he’s called the Pit Bull of comedy. He is one of the more hard edged filthy comics of the was. But what he did is because I’d only watched standup on TV and he interacted with the audience a lot and I didn’t know that was a thing at that point. Especially mean there’s YouTube and Instagram and TikTok where people see crowd work but at that know that wasn’t a thing. So all you saw was just like comedy Central or HBO specials or so seeing that and I do a lot of crowd work in my would, that was really cool. And then also going to the punchline which seeing that there’s like a middle class of comedy because you think at that point in time also you basically knew like Jerry, you saw famous comedians in their specials but I didn’t realize there was.
James Kennison:
A working class.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, you can make a living not as being ultra famous. So that was kind of when I got the bug and I went to an arts high school where I focused was film and long story, but my health problems kind of continued and I was able to start college because I had a really bad sleep disorder, which worked out great because stand up, you perform at night. So I was like one of the few fields that worked. But I finished my first two years of college by the time I was 18. And so I started touring with a rock band, which I don’t recommend, okay? Do not open, especially when you’re new. Trying to do stand up opening for a rock band is the absolute worst thing. The worst one just quickly was there was a heavy metal venue that they did and I had to go out and open for them at the heavy metal which I’ve never understood. Mosh pits in general, I don’t get the thing of like I love this song so much, I’m going to punch you in the face.
James Kennison:
You don’t know, man. Back in my day, right?
David Studebaker:
I’m sure there’s a virtue to it, but definitely not conducive to comedy. But I was kind of more hosting for them. Not really doing I hadn’t officially done stand up. And then the summer before my junior year of college, I just turned 19, I performed for the first time. And what was crazy is within the first six months of doing stand up because I didn’t have the kind of barrier that some people have in terms of stage fright because I had done some theater, I had done acting, I opened for a rock band which nothing can be worse than a stand up stage than that. So I had a really quick rise and I’m still pretty physical on stage, but I was really physical on stage at that time. And so I was able to be entertaining at a level that maybe my writing wasn’t, and my life experience wasn’t at that level. And also it was more of a novelty then to be a young comedian. Now, again, with the Internet and with everything, there’s a lot of younger comics, but at that time, it was like a thing. And so, yeah, within a few months, like six months, I was headlining shows. I was getting offers for nibbles from CBS and MTV to host shows. And what was fascinating, though, about that is I was not like a child star, but I was so not ready. Both my maturity, my ego, everything was not at all ready for even that little success that I had. And up until then, the braces. So the braces. The reason I brought up the braces earlier is I had braces the first time in middle school, and the orthodontist I had I think he hadn’t updated his tools since the Eisenhower administration because it was like I had the headgear. Did you guys have headgear?
James Kennison:
I never had braces.
David Studebaker:
Never. Okay, well, John, what was the deal? Headgear was like, who came up with, we’re going to put a miniature bowflex power lifter in your mouth, and then they’re like, oh, well, you have options. You can wear it at night and try to sleep with that torture device on your face. Yeah. Or you can wear that during the day and wear that to school. And I’m sure the school bullies will not notice at all that you look like a 1950s cartoon character.
John Steinklauber:
Headphones man. Leave me alone.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, exactly. So then I had braces again in college. It was like last year of high school, first year of college, which I already looked like I was 14. So adding braces to that, I was not exactly catnip for the ladies there. And this is true. We were broke. And my cell phone carrier, the only cell phone I could afford was a virgin mobile pay as you go flip phone, which is the perfect phone to make sure you stay a virgin. But I got my braces off my sophomore year. I started working out a lot. I started doing more theater. The reason I bring that up is, again, ego wise, I went from kind of sickly, braces little guy to all the girls who rejected me in high school were interested in me, and the local paper was doing write ups, and there were TV, nibbles, all that stuff. And I completely flamed out, and I had a lot of issues, and it was like a year of just really rough health problems, like crazy stuff. I had to have surgery on my throat, and it was a wild time. So then I had to kind of rebuild and kind of mentally, physically, spiritually find the way to kind of do this in a sustainable way. But yeah, so from there, it was just kind of slowly building up over the know, working the clubs in San Francisco, building kind of a name there. Then I moved to La about seven years of but the origin story, those early years were really crazy when I first started out.
James Kennison:
That’s crazy. But you were possibly the only comedian that’s ever crowd surfed or at least had the opportunity.
David Studebaker:
Yeah.
John Steinklauber:
Didn’t even have to carry guitar.
David Studebaker:
You know, the ironic thing this is the funny thing about the entertainment industry in Hollywood is when I started, I was very much like, kind of egoic all about me, and I was getting nothing but opportunities from things that could have accelerated me into actual real fame. Once I kind of was like, you know what? I want to do this for the love of bringing people know I’m coming from a really good place. Suddenly offers dry up completely, and it’s been know it’s been a slow and steady jump, but listen, MTV and CBS have not come calling ever since.
James Kennison:
You had a chance to sell your soul to the devil, and you didn’t do it. So my second favorite question is, how awesome is your spouse?
David Studebaker:
Number one, she is the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and she’s wonderful. But how else would I answer that? Even if she wasn’t, I would have to be just off camera comedians. So these comedians who get on stage and they’ll just rip their wives sometimes the wife will be there. I’m like, no amount of laughter would be worth the just awkwardness and horrible time at home. And I would never I mean, my wife is a genuine living saint, and I love her with all my heart. But even if she wasn’t come on, what are we doing? Yeah, I’m too shrewd for that.
James Kennison:
That’s great.
David Studebaker:
I want to stay married. That’s the other thing, too. Last year, I did 24 shows, headlined 24 shows on a cruise ship. We can get to that. I got punched on one of those. That’ll be the other featured story. I got punched at one at a kid friendly show, teasing it for later. I got punched during a kid friendly show on a cruise ship. But one of the reasons why I don’t do cruise much anymore and I always resisted doing them was a lot of times when you’re on a cruise ship, you’re gone for a long time, and you don’t always have great WiFi, and you’re kind of disconnected. And I don’t like to be disconnected from my wife and from my kids for too long of a time. That’s great. Yeah. And it’s funny because on stage, I’m very kind of partyish on stage, and I do a lot of fun things on stage, but off stage, I am the perfect comedian to be married to. If you’re a wife. Not that my wife gets jealous, but literally, I get off stage and I go to my hotel and I eat crackers. I drink. Milk, and I go to bed. I don’t drink, I don’t party, and audience members will want to afterwards. And I’m like, I’m sorry, that was on the stage. I’m going to go to bed. I’m going to go to bed and disappoint you greatly.
James Kennison:
That’s great. That’s good to hear. That’s how you live a long and healthy life in La. Right there.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, that’s true. Yeah, longevity.
John Steinklauber:
I get a lot of offers, but.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, and it’s funny, too, because on that cruise ship, they had, like, a chapel, and often after each show, I’d dip into the chapel to try to wash the cruise ship audience off of me. No offense. If there are some cruise ship audiences, I’m just saying they get a little wild and sometimes people would see me in there and they’d be like, wow, that’s a surprising after show party. So, yeah, there you go. There’s the wife. But, yeah, she’s amazing. And it’s wonderful because we definitely blend really well in terms of our values and what we want career wise, too, because there’s an old saying, there should never be two headshots in a marriage, meaning, like, two entertainers together is tough. And she doesn’t like the spotlight. She’s introverted, and she loves being like, she’s a stay at home mom now, and she’s always wanted to be a stay at home mom. And so it definitely we’re a good team.
James Kennison:
All right, tell me quickly, if you can, you wrote a book, it’s on Amazon Kindle, it’s on Audible. Tell me about your book and also tell me about this David’s Ark thing, the documentary that focused on people in places that protect animals in the environment. I want to hear about that.
David Studebaker:
Yeah. So the book is Lone Star Lance. Look at that right there. There it is. It’s my favorite thing that I’ve ever done in my career. It’s very personal. There’s a lot of humor in it, so I tried to make it humorous, and it’s a mystery. It’s very entertaining. It’s basically a fun, easy read through the whole thing. But it was really freeing because with stand up, you have to just always be making people laugh, even like, I have a degree in screenwriting and I write screenplays sometimes, but you’re thinking about budgets and actors, and this was just fully freeing. I could put in whatever I wanted to do. And so there’s just a lot there within it because in my family, there’s lots of different people who have different views on religion, politics, all different kinds of things. And I wanted to kind of have a book that showed and we all coexist well, and I wanted to kind of have a book that could show that that kind of anyone could read this book and enjoy it and feel like they were properly represented in it and be entertained and have a great mystery. And it’s been really nice. Over this, we got the reader’s favorite Five Star Award and the Audible, I narrated it, so if you want me, I do everything on that one. So unless you’re annoyed with my voice so far, I didn’t narrate. It starts out in San Francisco and then it goes to Texas, and there’s a lot there. There’s secret societies and secret theater clubs and murders, and it gets really wild. And all the proceeds go to a very good cause. They all go to paying for my son’s diapers. The Studibaker Diaper Foundation. Very much appreciates you getting it on Audible or Amazon.
James Kennison:
I dropped that name again. Drop that title again. What is it?
David Studebaker:
Yeah, it’s Lone Star. Lance the state of Texas. The Lone Star State. And yeah, there it downloaded it sorry. Oh, thank you. I’m honored. Appreciate it.
James Kennison:
Yeah, I’ll spend an Audible credit on it.
David Studebaker:
Thank you. I appreciate that.
John Steinklauber:
I didn’t download it for free, just in case you were thinking that maybe.
David Studebaker:
Bootleg no, I appreciate that, John. Thank you. It’s been cool. The other thing and I’ll stop droning on about it. But the other thing that’s been really cool about it is it has made my shows, it’s given even more meaning to my stand up shows because I sell them after shows and I get to because not all shows are some are kind of rugged and tough, but it’s like any author would die to have a book signing where you have that many people there, where you so it’s been really and again, teasing the featured story. There’s a tidbit in the featured story about the creation of that.
James Kennison:
Right.
David Studebaker:
And then David Zark, just quickly, it was a show that kind of developed. Interestingly. We just shot for fun some stuff. I love animals and I love the planet. And I felt like a lot of the discourse was very much dominated by people kind of loud voices on either side on that. And to me, most people are just trying to make a living and they’d like to help out, but sometimes it feels like such a massive thing or it’s confusing or whatever. And so I just wanted to have a show that was funny with me because I’m a dummy. So it was just me jumping into the world of places that help animals and making it funny doing that. It was kind of an offshoot of a show I did for a cable channel back in the day. And then one of the episodes we did, a couple of them won some awards in some film festivals, including best Director at the Oregon Documentary Film Festival. And would you believe it, James, I’m teasing another part of the featured story there’s a featured story about how the quasi death of David’s Ark led to something really cool, but it still lives somewhat. We still may do it, but we it’s on YouTube. We put all the episodes on YouTube. The one that won a bunch of awards. If you’re going to watch one watch the Marine Mammal Center one, you literally can just type in David Studebaker or David’s Ark, like Noah’s Ark. And then marine mammal center. It’ll pop up. Or you can go to my website, Davidstudebaker.com, and it’ll have all a bunch of the episodes there. But yeah, the Marine Mammal Center one, that’s the one that won a lot of the and that was kind of our pilot that then got us almost on a big streaming network and yada yada.
James Kennison:
Well, it’s time. It’s time for you to tell some of these stinking stories. I want to hear the story of you getting punched in the face.
David Studebaker:
Of course, yeah. I did 24 shows. They were separated out, but 24 shows total last year on the Margaritaville cruise ship.
James Kennison:
Oh, boy.
John Steinklauber:
Basically a floating bar.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, exactly. Or a floating motel. Six. Whatever. Well, I’m going to be nice. I’m going to be nice. You can look on YouTube and you can see the reviews.
James Kennison:
He doesn’t work for him anymore. What do you say? What he.
David Studebaker:
They do? So it’s a two night cruise. Usually I do eight nights in a row, and there’s a show every night. So they go back and forth between Palm Beach and a very sad port in the Bahamas. The first night off the boat. Yeah, it’s funny, ironically say that in 24 shows, I got off the boat two times and I just walked, and then I got back on, and Margaritaville doesn’t even have access to the nice cruise port unless there’s another ship there. Where was I?
James Kennison:
Yes.
David Studebaker:
So they do two shows. So the first night is a kid friendly show, and then the second night is an adults only show. And the night I got punched, by the way, they would do the show, the kid friendly show, it was 10:30 p.m. At night or 10:00 p.m. At night on a booze cruise.
James Kennison:
Wow.
David Studebaker:
Which not a lot of kids at that show.
James Kennison:
I don’t want to go.
David Studebaker:
There weren’t a lot of kids on that ship in general. I mean, I’d walk around, I would see a kid, I’m like, what are you doing here? I mean, this is where you go to get hammered, sipping on a pina colada. Yeah, exactly. Before I come out, it’s like a big theater. It’s a gorgeous theater. And there’s no security, though, okay, in this 500 seat theater, which they tell me is actually standard for some cruise ships, I don’t know. But the host comes out for the kid friendly show, and this is just one of their hosts, not like a comedian. So I’m coming out cold, and I had to do two completely separate sets each night. So the host comes out, and this is how that night they introduced me, they go, who here wants to see some adults only comedy? And the whole theater roars, and then they go, well, you came on the wrong night. This is the kids show. And the whole theater. Baker thanks, guy. Yeah, exactly. And what I would try to do to kind of change the energy after the booing is I’d have them play music, and I would go into the audience and kind of high five, dance a little bit, and then walk back on stage. Well, as I’m walking back to the stage, there’s a guy sitting to my right. And as I about to pass him, he has this crazy look in his eyes, and he shouts at me, I’m going to punch you in the nuts. And I’m like, okay. Wow. Nice to meet you, sir. And so I’m like, no, you’re not. And I turn, and he haymakers me uppercut in the butt. Now I’m like, okay, what do I do? I don’t want to get a fight with this guy and ruin it for the four kids who are there to see the show. I’m going to be a pro. Yeah. I’m going to soldier on. So I get on stage, but the whole time I’m on stage, I’m looking over, and this guy still has this crazy, angry look in his eyes staring at me.
James Kennison:
So angry.
David Studebaker:
I don’t know. Finally, I’m like, oh, yeah, there’s the guy who wanted to punch me in the nuts. And he stands up and he shouts, yeah. And I’ll do it again. And he runs out of theater.
James Kennison:
Wow.
David Studebaker:
Well, now I’m on a floating prison with this psychopath who’s just roaming around anywhere on that ship. Puncher yeah, exactly. And so there was a woman next to him, and I was like, who was sitting next to him? Do you know who that guy is? She’s like, no, I’ve never seen him before in my life. Well, it turns out security later said that is his wife. That is his wife. Maybe not for long. I don’t know. I missed that during the show. There was a woman sitting next to him. After he stormed out, I was like, do you know who that guy is? And she’s like, no, I’ve never seen him before in life. I don’t know who that guy is. And then turns out later, security said that’s his wife. They showed me her picture on the room key.
James Kennison:
I wouldn’t claim him either.
David Studebaker:
Right.
James Kennison:
I’ve never seen him before in my life.
David Studebaker:
So then security is, okay, tomorrow night we will have a security presence at your show. I’m like, okay. Yeah, right. Thank you. So I start my set. Two minutes into my set, I look up, and I see the security because they’re way off in the back. I see them run out of the theater, and I’m like, okay, that’s comforting. It turns out there was, like, a nine person brawl in the casino. I don’t know if the nut puncher tried to play blackjack or something. I don’t know. Exactly. Needless to say, I am not complaining that I don’t do the Margaritaville cruise ship anymore.
James Kennison:
Wow.
David Studebaker:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
That couple I just imagine their wedding. He’s down at the front, and the pastor’s like, we’ve gathered here today, I’m going to punch you in the nuts.
David Studebaker:
I know.
John Steinklauber:
Looking forward to that. I mean, I’ve heard kids say that to me before, so I guess maybe well, yeah.
David Studebaker:
And the thing is, as I kind of mulled it over afterwards, I think initially he thought he was being really funny. He just may have, like, one of those faces that has just crazy looking face. Yeah. And then when I was like, no, you’re not going to punch me in the nuts.
John Steinklauber:
No, you’re not.
David Studebaker:
I think he got mad that I got mad at him threatening to punch me in the nuts. And then that’s why he was, like, angry. And then especially since I called him out on stage, further angered and ran out, and then later, because security tracked him down, and he was just, like, sitting in the lounge, just, like, just watching these ladies dance and do karaoke. It was very weird. I don’t know. Not for me.
James Kennison:
Not for me. Wow, man. I think you should go on some sort of list if you’re that guy, they put pedophiles on list. If you’re a nut puncher, you should have to wear a T shirt or something just to warn people.
David Studebaker:
Yeah, well, and the other thing about it, too, why I was extra on high alert is you’re at sea, and the laws are different there. People say actual legit, private investigators and people like that will say, if you want to murder someone, do it on a cruise ship. Oh, no. Because you’re not under American jurisdiction. And who investigates what happened sometimes can be tricky. And so it depends on the cruise ship. It depends on where you’re sailing. So that’s also where they do have a metal detector coming in. I wasn’t worried about anything like that. But you’re stuck. Like, if it’s a comedy club, if you want to go on my TikTok at Studebaker Comedy or my Instagram at David Studebaker, there’s a very recent video. It’s like the most recent or second most recent or third video of a woman who, towards the end of my set, just stormed the stage, but she just wanted to tell a really bad joke, and she was very hammered in that situation, and I didn’t get mad. You’ll see how I handled it in there? But in that situation, I get to leave that club and go home or to my hotel, tell afterwards. Whereas, like a cruise ship, I’m in that fishbowl all the time. I go to get food. I go everywhere, and you’re in long hallways. You’re stuck. So that was not comforting.
James Kennison:
Okay. I will say I want to let you go soon, but there is one story that we happen to have submitted that might be connected to your nut puncher guy. Maybe this is a tale from his childhood. All right.
David Studebaker:
Yeah.
James Kennison:
Maybe Asher Coomb sent this in, he said three years ago at a Christian summer camp I was volunteering at. I was in the kitchen and we were standing around waiting for a couple of minutes for the kids to come in. And one of the cook’s kids told me, I bet I could get you on the ground. He was like twelve, so I assumed that he would try to tackle me. And I took the bet. He was wearing heavy hiking boots, and he reared back his leg and kicked me squarely in the junk. So good lordy pants, it hurt like mad. But I bet he couldn’t get me on the ground and I wouldn’t go down in shame. So I chased him down with adrenaline, holding the pain at bay for seconds. I took his hat from his head and I slapped him around with it. But I didn’t do anything because I didn’t want to injure the child. And I didn’t want that added to my offenses at camp. But here’s the kicker, pun intended. When I peed a couple of minutes later, there was a definite red tent in the stream. I can’t imagine that was normal. So I learned that day that if a guy says he can get you down, his first target is the junk. And he’s probably had practice, so he knows what he’s doing. Asher Coombs, I’d like to thank you for being on the show. Tell everybody where they can find you.
David Studebaker:
Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, thank you for having me. Thank you to the chat. I mean, listen, montag putting the link to the audible in the he’s amazing. What a hero. Montag, thank you, the not a man VIP trapnell for getting it on the wish list. Someone just left. I don’t know what happened. Someone left the discord as I was thanking them. They don’t like being complimented in the chat. All I want to say is thank you. The chat’s been really cool. I’ve been enjoying it. You rock in the chat. Which actually that’s a quick thing too. I still do a lot of virtual shows on Zoom, like corporate events, which an hour long show alone on Zoom is a special kind of performance. Purgatory.
James Kennison:
Wow.
David Studebaker:
But unless you want to hire me, in which case I love it, it’s my favorite thing in the world. Please hire me for your company’s event. But I actually do really enjoy some comedians don’t, but I really enjoy this format. It was awesome being on with you guys. Thank you so much for having me. And where you can find me, my website, david Studabaker.com. Just my name david and Studebaker. Like the car. Instagram at David Studebaker, TikTok at studebaker comedy. YouTube at studebaker comedy, I believe. But if you just search David Studabaker and comedy, you’ll see my channel. It’ll pop up. Facebook at studebaker comedy. I only use my personal one. That’s where all my stuff is. There is like a David Studebaker page that there’s like twelve followers. I never use it. It lives on its own. It’s a long story. We won’t get into it. I’ve bored you enough. But yes. Thank you so much. And I guess I’m on Twitter or X at David Studebaker. I also post on that once every seven to eight years, but sometimes I do. So it’ll be fun. But yeah. Thank you so much. This has been truly a blast. This is such an awesome podcast and honor to be here. Thank you, John. And James. And get Lone Star. Lance, please. Yes, the diapers. They’re expensive. Amazon. It’s generous donations like you that keep the Studabaker Diaper Foundation alive. So, yeah. Thank you so much.
James Kennison:
This was a awesome, awesome have a good evening.
David Studebaker:
Thank you so much. You, too.
James Kennison:
All we have left, really, is to choose our yeah. They only had two stories. My favorite was the first.
John Steinklauber:
My favorite was Eden.
James Kennison:
Yeah.
John Steinklauber:
Eden’s story was awesome.
James Kennison:
All right, Eden, you’re our winner. So congratulations.
John Steinklauber:
All the way up there in Helena, Montana. That’s the capital, I think, right?
James Kennison:
Yeah. All right, well, it’s time for us to get the heck out of Dodge. Thank you so much, everybody. Do you have a funny life story? Could you use an extra $50? I bet you could submit your story at that story show, where you can also find links to our Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Discord. We’re even on TikTok now. And if you love the show, spread the love by leaving an itunes review. Special thanks to our producers james spangler, Kerry Wright and Christopher tynan. And remember, if something weird, painful or embarrassing happens to you, like being punched in the nuts, don’t get stressed, don’t get depressed. Just turn around so they can punch you in the butt instead and think, hey, this belongs on that story show. We’ll see you guys next week. Thanks, John. Thanks, James. Thanks, David. Wherever you went. Yeah, it was too soon. It was too soon.
John Steinklauber:
Maybe we can call him back.
James Kennison:
David’s dude, Baker. I’m missing like a laker. He’s not a basketball player because he was too white like a salt shaker. Hey, I did it. I pulled it off. Yeah. All right, let’s sing about Eden being.
John Steinklauber:
Able to buy some new clothes.
James Kennison:
I don’t know if I have time. Let’s see. Eden so wet, she needs some new clothes? She needs a new skirt and blouse pantyhose? She got them soaked in some pea water as thick as she could? But you know what? It didn’t do no good because her daddy probably saw her while she ran across the hall? You flatten against the wall trying to keep from falling anyway, that’s all it.
The post 446: David Studebaker appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
The story of Jacob wrestling with God helps us understand our own struggles.
Feedback?: notquitechristlike@gmail.com
The post 1: Special Needs Christian appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
In this week’s episode, I address an email from Mike, who’s grappling with depression after losing his wife due to cancer. Also, catch up on Kennison family news.
Support us on Patreon for bonus audio.
The post 186: Mike’s Story appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Have you ever wanted to be a Giant? This week we’re doing lots of fun things and reading stories about giants!
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The post 101: If I Were a Giant appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
A hilariously enlightening chat with comedian Damon Sumner. https://www.damonsumner.com/ Bonus Audio Content for EP 445 Snake Video
The post 445: Damon Sumner appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Along with concerts and colonoscopies we talk about embracing individuals in their current journey and the remarkable power of God’s strength. Tune in for an engaging discussion!
The post 185: He Held On appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
In this episode, we share a comical and unexpected story about Emaline, a curious 10-year-old who stumbles upon an alcoholic drink at her parent’s party. That story and so much more on this episode of That Story Show! Get bonus audio and ad-free listening through Patreon.
The post 444: Drink, Drank, Drunk appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Reaching the age of 50 turned out to surpass my expectations. I’m gearing up to kickstart a workout routine. I also share my impressions of the Barbie movie and reflect on my overall birthday celebration. Get Bonus Audio through Patreon!
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RJ06 spins a tale of well-deserved revenge… as long as you ignore the details. Support us on Patreon
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We all face struggles, some more than others. In this episode, I address a listener who’s had enough of hearing me talk about mine. Bonus Audio Support me on Patreon.
The post 183: The Struggle appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Award-winning Comedian, Andrea Caspari joins the show this week. It’s a great interview with humor and fun. Follow Andrea on Instagram Submit your story for our weekly story contest.
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Over dinner, I discussed my role in my daughter’s adult life and discovered my place in her new journey.
The post 182: I’m Still Needed appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Sherry’s son may be wanted in Amsterdam. Enter your story in our weekly contest and win $50 bucks! Bonus Audio
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John and I catch-up on the past three months.
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After three months… an update. Thanks for all of your support, emails, and prayers. It means the world to me.
The post 181: Hello There appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Sorry it’s been a while. I wanted to wait to do a show until the story fully unfolded. Enjoy!
Support the show on Patreon!
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Jeremy accidentally ruins a News Anchor’s day.
Technical difficulties won’t hold us back. Who started clinking with forks? John’s rough week. James hired a voice-acting Scottish woman. Jokes. The story contest is still on – submit stories at thatstory.show. Trombizzle’s “that’s a lot of cash” song. James’ fantastic hat. James is silent but deadly at work. Ollie’s dad is a genius. Cassia’s coach offers to tie her shoes. James doesn’t want to eat a chicken that had a dream. PSA: Don’t go snipe hunting. We have our weekly contest winner – submit your entry at thatstory.show. All this and more…
The post 440: Hate Haze appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
I go through a 90-day review at my new job. I get some unexpected news that may cause me to lose it.
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Get bonus audio with Patreon!
The post 179: The Review appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Julia V is new to driving, but an old hat at driving her father crazy!
Enter your story in our weekly contest and win $50 bucks!
Get more TSS every week by supporting the show.
James thinks his honeymoon phase at work is over. Read the opening story
Was James a male Karen? Decide for yourself. Mardis Gras shoes. Jokes. From the past – James’ karaoke compilation, with bonus singing. We read a CATastrophic story. Talk about calling the police. Discuss car incidents. Why does hot milk help you sleep? PSA about slippery ham. James did a hat job for a pig health company and then berates Charmin. Aerial strike typo?!
We have another winner, so listen to the end and find out who it is: all this and more today on That Story Show.
The post 439: Pop Says Stop appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Katie tells us a story of a gecko she was babysitting that decided to try how freedom felt!
RSB Episode 100!!!!!!!! We are dressed for the occasion. Two guests – Milo + Massimo. Never assume who is on the other side of a phone call. Q & A with James (and other people). Would you eat butter as a snack?. Zombies don’t spread rumors. Send your “would you rather’s” to rsbcast@gmail.com. Read a listener review. Jokes. Guess in 10. Make a Story – Father Goose Rhymes. Featured stories. Big James had two jobs and he messed one up. Christmas Knife story – don’t do this kids. Big James wanted to be a teddy bear cop. Big James has a 100-episode surprise for our guests.
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Little James uses his newfound powers for evil. Stories, jokes, exciting news, and more.
We want your recorded intros. Peaceful new bell. RSB with young James and Sinclair. Tuna pasta. John teams up with bigfoot. Jokes. Stories – contest details, Gross things in backpacks/luggage, Bathroom antics (toilet and urinal stories), Gas and fire, James has done it, John taught kids to flip the bird, Andrew tells a story that almost led to his spicy demise (Fire Tale/Tail), PSA eat your fiber, WE HAVE A WINNER
The post 438: Two Little Birds appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcasts.
Lilly’s mom forgets to drop her off at school in the weirdest way possible!
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The post 99: My Mom is Broken appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s a Theme Show! #Admit. People admitting all kinds of stuff they shouldn’t. Plus one storyteller wins $50! You could be next. Submit your story at thatstoryshow.com!
The post 437: I’m Not Sure I Should Admit This appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Reed gets a dino costume for Christmas. His dog is not amused.
Young James is working out. Story: The Wrong Right by Emmy. Q&A with James. Letter From Listener About Soundboard. Jokes. Guess in 10! Create a Story. Featured stories. James confronts his dog. Story: The Great Divide – Josiah. Story: Mad Minion – Moses
The post 98: Danger Dinosaur appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Friday turns into a stressful mess when the boss announces he’s going to be out of the office.
The post 178: Freaky Friday appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jake’s daughter proves she’s a chip off the old block when she plays “pull my finger” with mom!
The post 436: Pull Don’t Push appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James has to choose between a horse tail and fish scales! Listen and laugh!
The post 97: Horse Tail appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Isaias from Springtown, Texas shares an unfortunate miscommunication about a lady’s pool.
The post 435: Message Mistake appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s all smiles and lollipops this time around. James is happy and he don’t care who knows it! Lots of love going out to Craig’s Brother who I’ve rediscovered again!
Support the show and get Bonus Content!
The post 177: I Love Music Again appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Robert’s friend accidentally gets inappropriate with her college professor.
The post 434: Quizzies appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Rebecca’s 2-year-old niece pulls a beautiful cake down on top of herself.
The post 433: Caketastrophe appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
E.R.H.’s mom chases down a delivery man in a van that doesn’t want to move!
The post 96: Truck Chase appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Guest-host, David, shares a seriously funny story about his crazy pit bull.
The post 432: David’s Dog appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Nicole from Wichita Falls accepts a dare and gets her leg stuck. Four firetrucks later she’s still in a bind.
The post 431: Bad Luck Stuck appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lots of ominous stories this week. One takes a dark turn. The darkest we’ve ever read.
The post 430: The Darkest Turn appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Elouise has a toy bunny explode its inner goop all over her and her friend.
The post 95: Exploding Bunny appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’ve had a lot of great episodes over the years. This is not one of them.
The post 429: Avoid This Show appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James and James spin a yarn about bears who flip while they’re cooking!
The post 94: Flipping Bears appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re sharing your funny and spooky Halloween stories this week. Tune in!
The post 428: Halloween Fun 2022 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
New experiences are tough for me due to the anxiety I struggle with… but we’ve got nothing but good news and great outcomes this episode!
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J from Kansas gets excited when he sees giant pretzels for sale at Subway.
The post 427: Big Pretzels appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
While on a 5-day Rocky Mountain hike, Boaz and his charges are left to eat from 23 bags of genus Allium.
The post 425: 23 Bags appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Not all opportunities are what they appear to be. That’s when God’s guidance becomes necessary.
The post 175: Dodged A Bullet appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
9-year-old Lilly injures her father with a pocket knife and somehow Moves Like Jagger is involved.
The post 425: Moves Like Jagger appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Two weeks ago I recorded a bit every day! Enjoy!
The post 174: One Week Two Weeks Ago appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Stephanie decides to flip her canoe and what happens is…
The post 93: Canoe Caper appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re taking a break this week and sharing the bonus content from episodes 352, 353, and 355! Become a Patron and get this bonus content every week! http://patreon.com/thatstoryshow
The post 424: Bonus Stories II appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tristin shares a gloriously gross story about a summer camp eating game gone wrong. Stories for kids. Podcast for kids. Clean podcast for kids. Family podcast.
The post 92: By A Nose appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’ve got a new rule: Just do it. But can I follow through when things feel impossible?
The post 173: Just Do It appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lauren Frey shares about a man who fell asleep in church and woke up at just the wrong time.
The post 423: I’m Healed! appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James F. falls down the stairs and breaks his toe. Then breaks it again waiting to go to the hospital!
The post 91: The Over-broke Toe appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Benjamin tries to make a customer happy by fulfilling her impossible coffee order.
The post 422: Customer Disservice appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Chatting about counseling, embarrassment, Google Translate, and using English with dogs.
The post 172: Talking to Dogs appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Both of Charlie’s brothers end up in the emergency room for the exact same injury.
The post 90: Same Split appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Simone’s story helps James find his true calling… as a 15th-century executioner.
The post 420: Tase Craze appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I tried to quit but they wouldn’t let me.
The post 171: Valued appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Rocco says his dog Finn saved his home from a burglar!
The post 89: Super Dog appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Little James shares about his experiences camping in Missouri with over 2500 other guys!
The post 88: Camporama appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Someone at Simone’s school stupidly lights a trashcan on fire.
The post 419: Bathroom Burn appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Working at Chic-fil-a isn’t easy. Especially when you haven’t put in full-time hours in 10 years.
The post 170: Work, Nature, Work appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Enjoy some bonus patron-only stories from past episodes!
The post 418: Bonus Stories appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I went to work today. First time in 10 years.
The post 169: My Pleasure appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Joann’s daughter gets excited when she gets her hands on the offering plate.
The post 417: Plate Pirate appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Eva carries a bowl of cereal to the sink on her head. It doesn’t go well.
The post 87: Cereal Milk Girl appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’ve applied for a job at Amazon. I visited family. I interviewed a genius. I’m not doing very well.
The post 168: Thanks for the Shoes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jeff Sanders (BrickBending) is a Contemporary Geometric Lego Artist and YouTuber. https://www.youtube.com/c/BrickBending
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Cameron wakes up next to a reptile. CJ’s workplace has an unfortunate name.
The post 416: Weed Man appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hayden breaks his bird finger. Samuel bounces a ball off a friend’s head.
The post 87: Double Bounce appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Narthex Con, Father’s Day, surprises, and a movie I won’t see.
The post 167: Lightyear appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Ashley’s 6-year-old brother wants help getting to the airplane’s bathroom but doesn’t get it and chaos ensues.
The post 415: Airplane Aaron appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Recorded in front of a live audience at Narthex Con 2022, this episode has a little something for everyone!
The post 414: Narthex Con 2022 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Recorded live in front of a studio audience at Narthex Con 2022, this week we get stories from all over the place!
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Join James, John, and little James at Narthex Con 2022 discussing behind the scenes topics about recording That Story Show and Red School Bus.
The post 166: Narthex Con 2022 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What happens when you try to clean a machine that’s still running? Tad knows.
The post 413: Grabby Gears appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Fishy’s sister plays with her gum and you won’t believe where it ends up and what she does with it!
The post 84: Gum Shoe appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Meet a member of my extended family, Tiffany. We discuss some of the issues that face the black community and misconceptions about black culture.
The post 165: Meet Tiffany appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re joined by performer, writer, and animator Scott Dikkers. He’s not only the funder of TheOnion.com, he’s an all-around good guy and a great storyteller.
The post 412: Scott Dikkers appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m having bad dreams where I’m living with my mom as an adult. Why is that such a big deal?
The post 164: Living With Mom appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Owen and his cousin get the cops called on them. James wants to go to mars.
The post 83: Bad Call appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Gospel musician and entertainer, Stephen Forester, joins us for part two of our most popular theme ever! Christian Mingle if you’re single.
The post 411: Dates & Mates – Part 2 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What hill would I die on? That question answered, and more, in this episode of The Gospel of Kennison.
The post 163: Q&A With James appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Izzy leaves a love note. Mallory explains double-cousins. James enjoys slug slime.
The post 82: Slimy Slugs appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re delving into stories about husbands and wives, girlfriends and boyfriends, crushes and cringes, and your best and worst dates. Dedicated to the memory of Christopher “Dr Quest” Titchenal and his family.
The post 410: Dates and Mates – Part 1 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
A Red School Bus listener and patron overreacts and threatens to pull their funding.
The post 162: The Overreactor appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode is a theme show featuring your stories about the pets we love and the pests we don’t!
The post 81: Pets & Pests appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Matt meets an old woman who asks him to give her his hand. Liam breaks his leg off.
The post 409: Bad Butts appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I’m doing a happy dance because one of my kids from children’s church reached out in a real way.
The post 161: Happy Dance appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Owen breaks into a playground. Kai gets a special golf ball. Katie denies her friend a kiss. Send in your Pets & Pests stories for our upcoming Theme Show!
The post 80: No Kiss for Rex appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Evan thinks fast and saves his daughter. Bill finds ABC gum. Dan touches an asterisk.
The post 408: The Asterisk appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
An online friend turns on me. I saw Jesus, and my take on pronouns. Support the show on Patreon!
The post 160: Former Online Friend appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tristan hits his tooth on a rock. Slade meets a banana spider and Michael sees a red school bus!
The post 79: The Red School Bus appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Evan’s friend keeps a hotdog to himself. Michael gripes about McDonald’s. Adam bonks his head and gets mini Oreos! Let us hear from you! Take our brief survey!
The post 407: Mini Oreos appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Daniel is flying to Florida… but some uninvited guests make taking off impossible. Check out our merch! Support the show on Patreon!
The post 78: Just Plane Drama appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Who would have thought that 20 milligrams could make all the difference? Check out my new business cards on Facebook. Support the show on Patreon
The post 159: 20 Milligrams appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I recorded last week when I was really down but didn’t release it. In this episode, we listen to it together.
The post 158: Why I Don’t Podcast Sometimes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
JoJo shares about his close call with acquiring a soulmate.
The post Episode 5 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
JoJo answers questions about Christian Clowning school.
The post Episode 4 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
JoJo discusses attempting a death bed conversion.
The post Episode 3 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
JoJo discusses the problems associated with puppet ministries.
The post Episode 2 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
JoJo explains the importance of Christian Clowning and answers your questions.
The post Episode 1 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Noah doesn’t realize there’s a gocart under the trampoline he’s bouncing on.
The post 77: Back Buster appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Joshua tries to catch the dodgeball and does… with his face!
The post 76: Dodgeball Face appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Abigail gets warned about the fleeting nature of life before a youth bus trip.
The post 406: Death Bus appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Never-ending struggles and some positive stuff. Support the show on Patreon.
The post 157: I Hate Depression appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Milo and Massimo, YouTubers from 3 Boys and a Camera, guest-host and share some hilarious stories. Plus listener stories too! Subscribe to 3 Boys and a Camera
The post 75: Bee Dress appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What do you do when your cousin sticks you with a life-sized Jar Jar? You sell that sucker for profit!
The post 405: Giant Jar Jar appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wes thinks his Elf on the Shelf is moving on its own. James gets chased by wasps. Support the show on Patreon!
The post 74: Scary Lucky appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Julie’s sister thinks she’s grown a tumor on her nose. Mom knows better.
The post 404: Julie’s Tumor appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Reilly tries to take a shower but there’s already something in there.
The post 73: Pinchy Pinch appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Everything’s all better now. Life is once again functioning properly… except for some hate mail.
The post 156: All Better appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lillie gives a boy some attention and causes him to lose his balance.
The post 403: Face Full of Shark appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s a Church-themed episode! Emmy’s skirt decides to drop as she attempts to secure a win in a race around the sanctuary.
The post 402: Skirt Scare appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
In the past couple of weeks, I’ve done something that made me feel like a moron and something that’s got me walking on water.
The post 155: The Laptop appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Stephen shares one of the worst stories in our show’s history.
The post 401: The Worst Story appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Luke decides to trip over his own feet and introduce his nose to “the bricks”.
The post 72: The Bricks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re talking about Christmas, New Year’s, Covid, Lions, Sheep, Instagram, and TikTok.
The post 154: Your Input Welcome appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Naomi gets an injury due to her long, tangled hair.
The post 71: Hairbrush Injury appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Emmy gets the scoop on why a particular potato salad bowl is special to an old lady.
The post 400: Tater Salad Bowl appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tons of stories, traditions, and memories shared in this episode. What’s your least favorite Christmas carol? Find your free bonus content here!
The post 399: The Christmas Show 2021 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
In this episode James shares an original Christmas parable called The Christmas Repair Service.
The post 70: The Christmas Repair Service appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Brian installs a bidet and gets more than a bum bath.
The post 398: Bidet Blast appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Patrick admits to being a little less than manly when it was his turn to be launched on the Blob.
The post 69: Blob Babble appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re sharing your stories about pets. Cute, fuzzy, and sometimes horrible. Help us get to 100 Patreon Supporters by 2022! Support for as little as a dollar per month! Send in your Christmas stories for our Fireside Christmas Episode on December 23rd! Email thatstoryshow@gmail.com
The post 397: Pet Theme Show appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Clementine tries various liquids to remove white-out from her eye.
The post 68: White-Out Eye appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
In this episode, we talk about Thanksgiving, vacation, sleep, a lie, and my still-missing glasses.
The post 153: Still No Glasses appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Michael’s son creates a second dad who lets him do whatever he wants. Support us on Patreon, help us get to 100 supporters, and James will shave his head!
The post 396: Yellow-Haired Dad appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sarah’s husband deals with the aftereffects of enjoying a small-town gas station tuna fish sandwich.
The post 395: Gas Station Tuna appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Josiah goes swimming on a vacant beach and finds out why it’s vacant.
The post 67: Disaster Magnet appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Dealing with depression and the loss of a friend.
The post 152: Jarell appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Norman’s frenemy uses pee-soaked napkins as a weapon. Michelle has a dumb dog. Support the show on Patreon.
The post 66: Guinea Pig Pee appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Drake decides to spin his cat around and make it dizzy.
The post 65: Cat Spinning appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Stephen does NOT enjoy his first haunted hayride, plus so many more spooky/funny stories. Get your free bonus content at patreon.com/thatstoryshow
The post 394: Halloween Party 2021 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James’ fat half falls out of the boat on a whitewater rafting trip. Jennifer Kennison guest hosts.
The post 393: Turtle Yawn appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
SecretNinjaGurl gets stuck under a train! Clementine wants to color with “potato sticks”!
The post 64: Train Trouble appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Christy’s nose doesn’t warn her that her dog’s been skunked! James owns a ROGUE! Help us get to 100 Supporters on Patreon so James will have to shave his head!
The post 392: Covid Nose appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week it’s depression updates and my experiences with improving my sleep hygiene.
The post 151: Sleep Hygiene appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Norman’s little cousin uses a booger as a weapon. NOT ALLOWED!! Get your very own Red School Bus T-Shirt! Other t-shirt designs are available for kids!
The post 63: Booger Brat appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wesley hears extreme details about a bank robbery that never actually happened. Help us get to 100 Supporters on Patreon so James will have to shave his head!
The post 391: The Heist appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James shares about a time he put his brothers into a barrel hanging from a tree and made them super dizzy!
The post 62: Barrel of Fun appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Let’s see how far we can get on this list of 1000 of my favorite movies. (LULZ)
The post 150: Top 1000 Movies appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Emilynn’s brother teaches their dog some bad habits.
The post 390: Thanks Brayden appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Austin from Australia gets stuck in a tree trying to get some sticks for his mom.
The post 61: Stick Stuck appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James’ mom loves her prized rooster… until it attacks her.
The post 389: Rogue Rooster appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What if I things had gone differently in Florida when I got depressed?
The post 149: Sabbatical appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James accidently made his own best friend named Jeffery.
The post 60: Jeffery appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Aaron’s granddaughter tells him that her mother is going to die.
The post 388: Dead Serious appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Christians are too easily offended.
The post 148: Too Easily Offended appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Andrea gets measured like a child before she can go on a ride.
The post 387: Short Sophomore appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Amanda plays her bagpipes for a hippy retirement community.
The post 386: Strange Pipings appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. It’s the great equalizer. Plus, life updates!
The post 147: Must Be This Tall to Ride appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Michael tries to make it through a sermon after hearing a ear-splitting fart. Gratz to the winner of our first story contest, “The Muffinhead from Nowhere In Particular”
The post 385: Avoid Jasper appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Isaac experiences a minor victory after a soggy flume ride. Lauren is attacked by an icky bug.
The post 384: Soggy Payday appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hannah doesn’t know what a gravy boat is and ends up choosing and washing the worst possible bowl ever.
The post 383: The Wrong Bowl appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Life update and answering your emails.
The post 146: Answering Emails appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Ellia’s big-sister tricks her with a false apology.
The post 382: Pretty Apology appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Nadine hugs her husband close but makes a mistake.
The post 381: Bad Hug appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Trevor steals his father’s underwear after forgetting to pack his own.
The post 380: Stank Short Pants appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Mother’s Day is half good, half crappy.
The post 145: Mother’s Day appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Stephanie takes a super-nice coat from a lost and found… until someone comes back for it.
The post 379: Coat Conundrum appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Toddler Ellia calls her sister the worst word she knows. Alongi looses his pants due to a cactus.
The post 378: Lame appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’ve finally got a new doctor… and a some hope.
The post 144: The New Doctor appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Agatha’s grandmother gets a little bonus in her beer.
The post 377: Bug Chug appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sami’s grandpa chases down a stolen truck. Mr. Actor Kid experiences a wild Karen blocking traffic.
The post 376: Car Theme Show appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We took a trip to Chicago. We’re also talking about depression, Christ-likeness and Trump support.
The post 143: Chicago appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tad tells of a time he thawed a turkey till it was a rotten mess. MariBeth sticks a Tabasco jelly belly up her nose.
The post 375: A Special Kind of Stupid appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lillee describes a nightmare involving her family and some evil llamas.
The post 374: Trauma Llama appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Patrick’s mom is cut loose with a medical skin stapler. Liam gets caught gaming all night.
The post 373: Staples appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Why are we attacking Asians and coughing on Uber drivers?
The post 142: Don’t Get the Logic appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Rachel fights the ‘rona and her anxiety trying to get her car started in a pandemic.
The post 372: Pandemic Car Panic appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Feeling good but not doing good.
The post 141: Running on Empty appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Young Patrick innocently asks to attend an adult dance lounge known as the Purple Church.
The post 371: The Purple Church appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Shawn makes sure his son has to pass a test before getting his fishing license.
The post 370: The Fishing Test appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Ben from Louisiana insists that an object that travels through a canine’s digestive tract comes out better than before.
The post 369: A Dog’s Purpose appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Fred’s mom scars him for life when a mouse forces her into a less than decent condition.
The post 368: Bathrobe Dance appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Disney Evans learns in a cringey way that being a school ambassador is not for her.
The post 367: Microwavable Love appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Barbara tells of a time her father was the target of a flying squirrel with a vendetta.
The post 366: Rocky’s Revenge appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Someone’s got to stop the madness of mispronounced words and phrases.
The post 140: Words Said Wrong appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Colleen shares a story from first grade about a slide that was slippery for all the wrong reasons.
The post 365: The Slippery Slide appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Markus takes a tumble backwards down the bleachers. Also J’s dad is cool!
The post 59: Bleacher Bump appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
A little girl assures her mother that she was indeed chosen to be the devil in the church’s Christmas play.
The post 58: Christmas Devil appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Just to be clear, Karen, this episode contains Santa spoilers!
The post 364: Santa Karen appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Buying for spouses and teenagers is hard!! Halloween and Christmas plywood cutouts.
The post 139: Christmas is Tough appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
The Baffled Buffoon has a black and white printer that is printing red lines. Impossible!
The post 363: Thin Red Line appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Five-year-old Porter confesses his undying love for the pizza delivery lady. Elise ends up with only one frog.
The post 57: Love At First Slice appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Naomi gets a dog for Christmas… plus a little extra.
The post 56: The Extra Present appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
A new doctor. Some new meds. It’s all good!
The post 138: It’s All Good appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Cameron’s dad enjoys a chunk of used peanut butter. Cynthia gives herself mini hickeys.
The post 362: Peanut Butter Delight appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tucker busts his butt in front of a bunch of cute girls. Katlyn gets an accidental nose piercing.
The post 55: Super Smooth appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Asher plays baseball with a machete strapped to his leg. Maia throws her hamster out the window.
The post 361: Machete Baseball appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Trevor’s wife knows how to get rid of dragons. Camden lies about stealing cookies.
The post 360: Bald Bunny appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Reilley from Hutto, Texas has a weird fear. Peregrine’s dog gets to know the Easter Bunny.
The post 54: My Phobia appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John thinks grandmas are hot. Hana’s brother is going to end up in prison.
The post 359: Hot Grandma appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Coleen’s boyfriend goes after the wrong set of legs in the pool. James makes a huge mistake when filling his dog’s water bowl.
The post 358: Jaws appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Three-year-old Hana steals a ruby ring! Jackson’s cat falls out a window.
The post 53: Pretty Baby appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Savealife78’s husband needs a little help to fulfill his husbandly duties around the house. Evan holds baby puke in his mouth.
The post 357: Husbandly Duties appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Esther hears a tortoise toot at the zoo. Rohan has drunk eyes!
The post 52: Tortoise Toot appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jim’s classmate tries to share the Good News during a dissection. Tess has too many kids.
The post 356: Ultimate Froggy Sacrifice appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
The Therapist says I’ve got to believe that I am enough. How can I when I have so much proof that I’m not?
The post 137: Am I Enough? appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lizz and Aaron share a story about a spanking that got way out of hand.
The post 355: Dangerous Dojo appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Morgan falls and lands on her teeth! Josh tries to play off a loud fart.
The post 51: Tooth Turmoil appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Evan cracks his shin one to many times on his wife’s childhood furniture.
The post 354: Stupid Bench! appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Owen and his friends scare the mess out of a kid while chasing down a Charmander in Pokemon Go.
The post 50: Charmander Chase appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m hopeful that life will start looking up now that I’ve started with therapy. Plus a bunch of other stuff.
The post 136: Therapy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tallulah has a pet memorial service interrupted by a yeeting jerkface. Malcolm falls forward with his hands in his pockets!
The post 49: YEET! appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James shares a disturbing story about a young man, his mother, and a bathroom.
The post 353: The Potty appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Picking up where Episode 48: What I Deserve left off I discuss how I feel like I’m less of a Christian than I once was yet feel closer to God than I ever have.
The post 135: Less of a Christian appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Raegan’s grandma puts the pedal to the metal. Tallulah faces off with a lizard in the pool.
The post 48: NASCAR Nanny appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Eva experiences a movement of a different kind during a particularly deep prayer. John experiences phantom tingles.
The post 352: The Aroma appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Steve’s baby bites his bits. Grandpa swears loudly in church and Vic gets wasted on Soma.
The post 351: Bitten Bits appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Masks. Should we wear them? Why do some people have huge issues with wearing them? Let’s talk.
The post 134: Masks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hope and her boyfriend connect over a shared meme. James makes a confession about Carman.
The post 350: Pre-Blessed Food appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jude defends his honor with a bag of dog poop. Wesley gets peed on.
The post 47: Poopsplosion appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Karen tries to burn down a college library. Gail-Marie puts out a fire using pure genius.
The post 349: Playing With Fire appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Grady sees something at haunted house. Kallista is left behind on a family trip.
The post 46: The Shadow Man appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Georgia puts a piece of glass through her toe. Angela sings a song to her class on Zoom.
The post 348: Toe Torture appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s been a while since we just talked.
The post 133: Life Updates appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hallie’s sister gets a bat on her face. Cy’s brother gets peed on by a frog.
The post 45: Bat to the Face appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jackson’s little brother lies about the contents of his sandwich. James is ticked at Jesus.
The post 347: Honey and Jelly appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Part 4 covers age 24 to current day. This is the final entry.
The post 132: Podcast My Life – Part 4 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hunter uses too much force on a faucet and the police get involved. Lin Xiao gives bending advice.
The post 44: Mustard Fire Power appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Trevor is burped like a baby. Anitra witnesses a bathroom stall door beat down.
The post 346: A Gentle Whisper appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Josiah’s brother eats a big spoonful of what he thinks is chocolate dessert! Zac chokes on a waffle.
The post 43: Mystery Mud appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Eva’s family faces the unspeakable horror of a gas station bathroom. Baby Lliam picks up a dead mouse.
The post 345: Bathroom of Doom appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Josiah slurps up a Roly poly. Wes calls his Karate teacher ugly.
The post 42: Roly Poly appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Vivia wants chocolate milk and is bad. Pierce is a crush killer.
The post 344: Chocolate Milk Diva appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Part 3 covers life after High School to age 24.
The post 131: Podcast My Life: Part 3 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Josiah swallows and recovers a marble. Raegan’s dad says “I love you” to the Starbucks guy.
The post 41: The Marble appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
J broke his elbow and they put him to sleep to fix it. After he woke up he just talks crazy. Enjoy!
The post 40: Twilight Talking appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James’ son is in rare form after a broken elbow requires anesthesia. Lucy’s brother swallows his tooth and goes hunting for it.
The post 343: Twilight Time appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we share 14 years of negative reviews we’ve gotten for the podcast.
The post 342: Bad Reviews appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Owen faceplants off his bike and onto the pavement. Elisabeth’s three-year-old smacks a spider with an egg.
The post 38: Eat the Street appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James bags the illusive Finless Brown while fishing with his dad. Ryan draws a bomb and gets tagged as a tiny terrorist.
The post 341: The Finless Brown appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Monica and Raelynn get chased by a mad momma moose. Audrey’s dad shares an embarrassing story about Audrey.
The post 37: Mama Moose appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Part 2 covers 5th grade through High School.
The post 130: Podcast My Life: Part 2 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Donald reports in on two squirrels being crazy. Dimitri sits on a bunch of forks!
The post 36: Squirrely Squirrels appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Meet Challenger. He’s a young black lab and he loves to dig! Trevor yells at the wrong person. Elisabeth goes to the bank.
The post 340: Challenger appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Part 1 covers my birth (1973) through age 8 (1981).
The post 129: Podcast My Life – Part 1 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Noah is pushed out of a second-story window and lands in a tree. J scares away a bird. James is accused of finding peanut butter.
The post 35: Second Story Scream appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Rachel looses her dad. Danny finds the wrong dad. James messes up everyone’s gender.
The post 339: Displaced Dad appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Owen’s mom gets locked out of the house by the family pet. Noah almost gets himself hit by a car.
The post 34: Bad Bunny appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
The church secretary can’t understand what neck trauma headgear has to do with piano tuning. Emily kicks over a fire ant hill.
The post 338: Piano Man appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Peregrine’s grandparents rent a nasty vacation home. Somebody tosses Sarah overboard!
The post 33: Toilet Seat Secret appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we chat about Superman, Gremlins, Movies I didn’t see until I was 16 and the very few movies I saw in my childhood.
The post 128: Five Random Things appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 11 Joses and his mother spend quality time with their hero. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of...
The post Chapter 11 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John battles a massive snake in his attic. James looses his mind.
The post 337: The Big Freaking Snake appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wes gets a rock stuck in his ear canal. Tod wipes out while walking because his hands are in his pockets. Here’s a link to the Buzz Lightyear Minecraft creation I mentioned in the show.
The post 32: A Rock in the Ear appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 10 Can Clovis save the day? Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin enhances his...
The post Chapter 10 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wes misunderstands what is wrong with his mouth. Odette goes ghost hunting with a prankster Boy Scout. Support the show and get access to our supporter-only podcast: Q&A With J. Visit patreon.com/rsbcast to get started today! Stories: The Hungry Escaper from Elizabeth Scary Boy Scout from Odette Train Voices from Flash Bunny Trap from Owen...
The post 31: Roasted Toasted Fuzz Bud appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode has nothing to do with mashed potatoes. It’s about getting anxious over nothing. I just didn’t know what else to call it.
The post 127: Mashed Potatoes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 9 Joses is in trouble. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin enhances his already...
The post Chapter 9 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Victoria has an Evil Step-Grandmother that gave her a spooky keychain. Asher’s Grandpa practices self-surgery. All from this episode of That Story Show, your clean comedy podcast! Weekly Updates: James’ wife thinks there’s a dog in the trash. John finally gets gas. Thanks to our Patrons: Aaron Hughey John Freeman Mila Allen Maddie Cruz Chris...
The post 336: The Haunted Keychain appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Annika changes her mind half-way down a water slide. Wes tries to make some cash with kite string.
The post 30: Why, Why Waterslide appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Talking about Christians who have decided not to comply with social distancing and a bit out our President. Fun!
The post 125: Crazy Christians and Politics appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 8 Doctor Superior comes for a visit! Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin enhances his...
The post Chapter 8 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wayne takes out a tooth with his smooth Taekwondo moves. Annie gets the fright of her life playing Bloody Mary.
The post 335: Taekwondo Tooth Fairy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wes’ cat is so fat that the car thinks she’s a human being! Asher puts a dog in its place.
The post 29: Fat Cat appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m bored for some reason so I interview the whole family about the changes the Coronavirus have made in our lives.
The post 124: Coronavirus Changes Everything appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 7 Joses fights with his mother. Something upsets Grandpa. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin...
The post Chapter 7 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Chris thinks he’s making a new friend. Little does he know he’s the target of a multi-level marketer. Check out Chris’ podcast: Stunning & Brave!
The post 334: Fresh Meat appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I read a good book. School gets canceled. I have a random panic attack and podcast through it.
The post 123: Good Books and Panic Attacks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wayne has a close call with a tiny stinger boy. Emma names her volleyball team Beef Chips.
The post 28: Squishy Scorpion appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 6 Joses faces a tough choice, having to do the right thing even though it feels wrong. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives...
The post Chapter 6 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Walt helps Jed keep the kids behaving. A lady never wanted to talk to John.
The post 333: Walt Lives in the Dungeon appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Is doing something perfectly the point? If you can’t, should you even bother?
The post 122: Paralyzed by Perfection appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 5 Joses goes to visit Mr. Visser to hopefully get answers about his mysterious pin and the powers it provides. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that...
The post Chapter 5 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Adelaide shares a weird Teacher story. J learns to tie a tie.
The post 27: Mr. Baxter appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Join me for a whole heap of drama that started on Saturday and ended Thursday evening. I got hacked.
The post 121: My Website Tried to Kill Me appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Way to many stories about teeth being where they shouldn’t be!
The post 26: Too Many Teeth appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 4 Joses goes to school with his new powers. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin...
The post Chapter 4 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We discuss Sunday’s children’s event on Sunday night and the troubles associated with being “UP” on Thursday.
The post 120: Sunday to Thursday appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Christopher has to share a bathroom with a very drunk individual. James has a freaking weird interaction with a kid. John gets wished a happy Valentine’s Day.
The post 332: Drunk at Chic-fil-a appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 3 Joses and Clovis test out Joses’ powers. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin enhances...
The post Chapter 3 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
As the children’s event closes in I share podcast theme songs I’ve written and talk about how depressed people fake not being depressed.
The post 119: Theme Songs & Faking It appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Carter throws up on a another kid’s head and it looks like a wig! J’s birthday is tomorrow and we watched Sonic the Hedgehog! Support Red School Bus on Patreon in March and get a free RSB sticker! https://www.patreon.com/redschoolbus
The post 25: Puke Wig appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Wayne’s 80 year old neighbor hops the fence with a meat cleaver. John’s moving house and James scared the mess out of some kids. Stories: Mrs. Cleaver – Wayne Golf Cart Crazy – Trevor Meme King – Nathaniel Hershey’s Kiss of Death – Asher Sleepwalk Splash – Matthew
The post 331: Mrs. Cleaver appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Just me talking about feeling “up”, children’s ministry, Narthex Con 2020 and answering your questions.
The post 118: Multi-Day Mix II appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 2 Joses finds a pin with strange behaviors and has some pretty shocking and seemingly random experiences. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn...
The post Chapter 2 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna’s brother J takes over as guest-host. Lots of funny stories this week!
The post 24: Lemon Football appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Some kid becomes hysterical over a closed app. James puts his underwear on backwards. Check out my new audiobook, “Sorta Kinda Superpowered”!
The post 330: Blond-Kid Blowup appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week’s journal was recorded over the span of three days. New trend or one time experiment? We’ll have to see.
The post 117: Multi-day Mix appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered: Chapter 1 Meet Joses Gardner and the world he lives in. Enjoy the story? Donate any amount via Paypal: https://www.paypal.me/nlcast Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers....
The post Chapter 1 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sorta Kinda Superpowered is the story of 12 year-old Joses Gardner who along with his best friend Clovis finds a golden pin that when worn gives him a limited set of superpowers. The pin enhances his already sharp mind and helps him overcome bullies and navigate life as the 2nd shortest 6th grader in his...
The post Introduction appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Help me get over the anxiety of releasing my book!
The post 116: Sorta Kinda Superpowered appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Mike and his sister lose track of their mother’s ashes. James’ son sees an angel.
The post 329: Missing Momma appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Ramiro relives his horrible rodent control job. John asks is it okay to tell someone when their clothes aren’t on right.
The post 328: Ratmare appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m a weight watcher! Talking about losing weight, podcast stuff and movies and TV I’ve been enjoying.
The post 115: Doing Weight Watchers appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Joseph has a creepy girl on his tail. John take the wrong cup at Starbucks. James is overdressed for Subway.
The post 327: Kara appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Tiny from Earth Oddity Podcast joins us this week and shares the story of a little prank that paid off big time!
The post 326: The Reset Prank appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Emily has a disturbing chat with a lady about chicken nuggets.
The post 325: Chicken Nugget Lady appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
My son is getting quite a bit more information in sex ed than I would have ever thought.
The post 114: Sex Education appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James’ wife thinks the baby Yoda is actually Yoda. James unwittingly names his new dog Mr. Noodles.
The post 324: Baby Yoda appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week’s kind of a follow up to last episode. It’s me bringing some balance to some of the thoughts I shared last time. Also sharing life updates and future plans.
The post 113: Compassion appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John jumps 67 feet off the bridge of a giant boat. What a pain in the rear!
The post 323: Ocean Enema appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Making a blanket for your gerbil is a bad plan.
The post 322: Gerbil Blanket appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Harmony tries to do her job and stay germ-free. Then this happens.
The post 321: An Embarrassing Tail appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re discussing purpose, the idea of a loving God sending people to hell, Christmas ignorance and then back to purpose again.
The post 112: Looking for Purpose appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John’s got a human-sized stuffed animal on the loose. James worries about people who don’t know how to Chic-fil-a.
The post 320: Witch Finger appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode we’ve got life updates and a question about what to do with a homeless dude.
The post 111: Homeless Dude appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James wants to see his wife fight a lady. John answers questions about Disney Plus. Jessica gets tricked in Dare Damage. Jane gets a misprint on her face in Saturday Retreat Treat, Matthew argues in I’m In Charge. Landon gets yelled at in The Story of Ranger Jan. Emily’s husband finds a new friend in...
The post 319: Fight Club for Girls appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week it’s a collection of the scariest middle school drama stories we could find!
The post 318: Halloween Special 2019 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James tangos with a mouse. John dreams of putting things right. Samuel tries some Under Age Popcicleing. “I” brings a wholesome story of Crow Care. The Fiddlerrockstar deals with at 17 Story Fire and Jeremy reminds us that Cats (and dogs) Are Gross.
The post 317: Mouse Dance appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Telman writes in sharing several stories from his middle school years when James was his Youth Pastor. Kathy’s boss causes and Exploding Egg, Stephen’s tooth gets a Deep Impact, Fred has a Minor Emergency and Megan gets a Lip-gloss Blessing.
The post 316: The Legend of James appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Just me sitting in my truck waiting on my glasses to get fixed.
The post 110: Waiting on Pearle appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna tells us about Homecoming and accidentally makes fun of her dad for not having grandparents. Support the podcast on Patreon! http://patreon.com/redschoolbus
The post 23: Scary Vibes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John hates pajama day. James’ wife is a bowl flipper. Ricky gets an Early Easter Egg. Johnathan has to go Digging Down Deep to get glass out of his foot. Dan’s daughter is happy that the family pet is Dead and Buried. Samantha is the victim of IT Exaggeration and Jackson’s sister thinks she’s getting...
The post 315: Bowl Flipper appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Talking about the stuff I love to love. You know, important stuff like Buzz Lightyear… and Family. Buzz Lightyear Nutcracker
The post 109: Things I Love appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James’ son gets attacked by a hawk. John tries to make Kool-aid in his mouth. Siya’s father causes confusion in a Pleasant Prison. J talks in his sleep about a farm chair. John is asked if he’s on duty. Lauren’s dad recreates a bad vacation movie with a Reckless RV. Stephen’s little brother said a...
The post 314: Hawk Attack appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Sometimes a day can be so good it helps make it hard to feel insignificant. You should hear about it.
The post 108: Not Insignificant appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna makes an important phone call. James goes shopping for a dress. Matt gives us a follow up from Tic-Tac-Leg. Gabe gets a Treat from Above. Jeremy bursts open a Black Baggie Bomb. Emily’s sisters have to Look Out For Buggies and Katie has a Mispronunciation Mishap.
The post 22: Adult Experience appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John looses his eyebrows. James needs to be spoken to very slowly. Fiddlerrockstar’s camp burns down. Jane has a bat on her door. Emily’s baby is mooning everyone. Meghan returns an unused diaper, and Matt gets busted while having tummy troubles.
The post 313: She Did A Craft appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I’m answering your questions. Stuff like, how it felt to bring back a podcast, and if it’s harder to let my daughter date than my son. Good stuff!
The post 107: Ask Me Anything appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna believes in Aliens because of X-Files. James thinks she’s lost her mind. We’ve got stories from Matt about carving a tic-tac-toe board into his leg in Tic-Tac-Leg, Izzy makes a Sick Bottle Kick. Becca tells us all of the awesome details of an epic Prank War. Emily’s 3-year-old shows some Sunday Buns after a...
The post 21: Aliens appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James son speaks Parseltongue. John is an epic quiz master.
The post 312: Mike appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What happens when Jenna starts High School? James wonders they sing like in High School Musical. Red School Bus is a Family Friendly podcast! Plus KittenAdorableness6 writes a review, Stephen has a Bad News Branch and Todd catches air in a Cadillac We have a Joke from Jonty, Siri leads Olivia and her dad to...
The post 20: Kia Ora appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I read a heartfelt letter from a listener, give some depression life updates, and talk about having faith in my teen daughter.
The post 106: Ya Gotta Have Faith appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James hates his dog. John owns up to making noises in class.
The post 311: James Hates Leia appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John gets no respect at Burger King. James’ son proves he’s the best kid in the family.
The post 310: King Reginald appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Just me sharing updates on my life since the last episode back in July. Book: Darkness is My Only Companion:
The post 105: Chips and Salsa appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James and his wife go on vacation to Mexico. John hates on stuff.
The post 309: Mexican Vacation appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John is more perfect than perfection. Sarah leaves her siblings to die. James really likes salad. MomofBoys is a wet blanket. Tiny gets scammed. Jed’s wife-to-be is worried about her marriage medicine. Nathan’s daughter tries to rip out her teeth. Nate’s wife is too old to attract a pedophile and Sara hears from God in...
The post 308: Good Godly People appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna launches spaghetti at her brother’s face. Donna nearly kills her little brother. Victoria’s brother has a bad experience with chapped lips and Dan is making up words that make no sense. Support the show on Patreon!
The post 19: Spaghetti to the Face appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Fred’s buddy has a crappy camper. James is his mom’s favorite son. John’s son has the voice of a wedding planner. Drew gets an unexpected shower. Anonymous Wife and her husband have an interesting week of revival. Parker slaps his grandmother and Dan enjoys a glass-filled slushie. Send in your back-to-school themed stories for our...
The post 307: An Unexpected Shower appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Buckle up as we blaze through the best of the first five episodes of Nobody’s Listening.
The post 306: Best of Volume I appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m bi-polar and “down” at the moment. I usually can’t podcast when I’m down, but I manage to do it anyway. Hope you find some value in this recording.
The post 104: Down Time appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John says The Lion King sucks. Amedly speaks Spanish. Andrew wins a crappy remote. Elizabeth has a crazy friend. Noah’s co-worker sees monkeys in his phone pics. Wii has a leaky bladder. Becca goes over the hill. Luke dials 911. MomofBoys talks to a crazy lady and Phil tries to scare an owl out of...
The post 305: Bra Badgers appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Bella has to pee in a cup. James doesn’t get paint on a guy’s car. Jenna tries to eat poison. Izzy has a bad net. Drew sips some maggots. Bella smells like beer and Graham C’s friend breaks his wrist.
The post 18: Miraetical appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Our special guest, Jeremy (Spider Pan) Shields from Neverland: To Disney and Beyond, shares a great camp story about a campground built near an insane asylum. Send in your story this week for a chance to win a $20 Steam gift card!
The post 304: The Icicle Killer appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna’s at camp so her Dad and Mom take over and tell all kinds of embarrassing Jenna stories! Enjoy!
The post 17: Jenna Stories appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James brings a story about trying to find a place to relieve himself. John has a special prayer partner. Then we’ve got stories about people catching a cat, a kid peeing out of a tree, trying to defend the English language to toddlers and more. Clean comedy at its finest!
The post 303: The Galvanized Toilet appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James and Jenna talk about people who sleep mean, wearing your clothes inside out, bathing chickens, cycling with your eyes closed and much, much more.
The post 16: Southerners Like To Eat Cows appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s the show after Narthex Con so we share funny stories from Narthex Con! Also some great listener stories that’ll put hair on your chest… well, you’ll learn what grosses out a chimp anyhow.
The post 302: Soft Serve appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week’s episode is a question and answer panel recorded at the Narthex Con event here in Saint Louis. It was recorded in front of a live audience and included questions submitted in person and online. The panel was made up of James Kennison, Jennifer Kennison, Jenna Kennison, J Kennison and John Steinklauber. Enjoy!
The post 103: Narthex Con 2019 Q&A Panel appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna and James are recording LIVE in front of an actual audience at Narthex Con 2019! Tons of great stories from online and in-house! Enjoy!!
The post 15: Narthex Con 2019 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Join us as we record in front of a live audience at the first annual Narthex Con! John and James share hilarious clean comedy stories and interact live with storytellers in the audience. Not to be missed!
The post 301: Narthex Con 2019 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I’m telling you all about the stuff I’ve been involved in over the past month. These include a depressive episode, doing ministry again, a great vacation and an anniversary. Enjoy!
The post 102: Doing All The Things appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s episode 300 and it’s bat-themed in celebration of the 10-year anniversary of John turning into a bat and flying away (which happened during episode 160)! Enjoy a plethora of funny real-life stories about bats and the people who were freaked out by them.
The post 300: The Bat Show appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James and Jenna are bringing you some hilarious life stories and commentary. Enjoy!
The post 299: Risky Bridgeness appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Chris Cowan from The Cowan Boys Super Movie Show shares a great fart story with a surprise ending. Weekly Rewind: James’ daughter doesn’t know which car she came in. Chris has a horrible experience with Panara’s new self check-out. Featured Story: Chris farts in a library. Listener Stories: No-Ticket Dad – Myla An 8-year-old Story...
The post 298: Library Creep appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re talking about St. Louis strife, Jury Duty, Depression, Podcasting and Katie’s way of organizing and scheduling tasks when you’re dealing with anxiety. Also a little about Getting Things Done. Good stuff!
The post 101: Katie’s List appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Austin Reason and Janusz Strzepek guest host and share stories about adulting and creating a game with a cult following. Check out Austin’s podcast: Noobs and The Whovian
The post 297: Adulting appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James and his wife are on a date when a lady approaches them. You won’t believe what happened next! Transcript of first 10 mins: James: 00:00 Hey podcast people. This is that story show where we’re sharing hilarious real life stories and inviting you to do the same. This is episode 296, on the way...
The post 296: Mustache Lady appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Dad shares a song that’s sure to be a hit. Jenna wins State. Jed’s sister never saw the First Samurai and much more!
The post 14: That’s A Lot of Cash appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
To get stuff done you gotta have spoons (emotional energy). I also figured out how to make GOK’s less stressful. Lots of topics this week. Here’s the mock-up of the STL Flag I’m working on. Posts on Podcast Structure: Part 1, Part 2
The post 100: Spoons appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Justice is served when a cocky customer service rep tries to hold James to a false contract. Weekly Rewind: James hears a woman whistle for her kids. J gets flooded out of school. John has issues with Comcast Featured Story: James tells of a company that tried to hold him to a contract that was...
The post 295: Home Security Scam appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We reach back into the archives of the original Red School Bus. Jenna is 12 again. Ryan’s dog has worms.
The post 13: Puppy Spaghetti appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Should you have kids when you’re struggling with a mental disorder? Also thoughts on healthy communication.
The post 3: Anxious About Kids appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Luke Kirk shares a story about a co-worker who enjoyed painting the toilet stalls with his own waste. Weekly Rewind: James drinks a 5-hour energy, falls down the stairs and has a not-hot lady try to sell him something he doesn’t want. Luke buys cheap paint and ends up with inner thigh issues. Featured Story:...
The post 294: Poo Picasso appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m working out at the YMCA. I’m podcasting with my wife and some other great stuff. Thanks to patrons: Zane Estrada, Carrie Wright, Carrie Bernhardt and many more! Support GOK on Patreon!
The post 99: I Am Working Out appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna’s making up more new words, plus stories about food with stuff in it that doesn’t belong in food. What are you: Reading – The Diary of Anne Frank Watching – Boy Meets World Doing – Baking a lot and Terra Nova testing Weekly Update: James has a lady pressure him into a facial Jenna...
The post 12: Breadgetables appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
How do you get over a destructive relationship? How do you stay married after the kids have grown up?
The post 2: Staying Married After Kids appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What would you do if you had a huge palmetto bug fly up your pants? Weekly Rewind: James is 2 seconds late for his weekly update John rants about his Internet cable getting cut Featured Story: James has a giant roach fly up his pants. Listener Stories: Paper Vapor – Steveatronius37 Made Up Story –...
The post 293: Cockroach Up My Pants appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
A cat with a shaved neck and “drools from it’s nose” takes the cake in this week’s episode. What Are You: Reading: The Diary of Anne Frank Watching: Home Improvement Doing: Made the game-winning goal in soccer Weekly Update: James was 2 seconds late for his weekly update. Jenna’s coach tells them to be more...
The post 11: Nose Slobber appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James reads some of his top blog posts he wrote early in his bout with Depression. Articles Read: The Worst Question You Can Ask A Depressed Person General Well-being Update Church Is Broken sildenafil where to buy When It Comes to the Broken I’m Anxious, Not Angry. Sad, Not Sanctimonious Life Update – December 2012...
The post 98: My Depression Blogs appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
How are kids affected by Mom’s depression and how do I stop hating my mom?
The post 1: How Are Kids Affected by Mom’s Depression? appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John tells of the time he dumped his future wife but managed to win her back in the cringiest way possible. Weekly Rewind: James’ daughter has strange ideas and makes up a new word. John has managed to get poison ivy on his face. Featured Story: John dumps his girlfriend, then asks her to marry...
The post 292: Marriage Managed appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lots of fun and great stories this week. Plus, Jenna makes up a new word! What are you: Reading – The Diary of Anne Frank Watching – The Boy in Striped Pajamas; This is Us; Family Matters Doing: Soccer and a new game: What does Jenna want to eat? Weekly Update: James – James thinks...
The post 10: Strawbaza appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Talking about recent life updates and then some updates on my podcasting efforts.
The post 97: Life and Podcasting appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James think’s he’s made up a new thing, but finds it’s already a thing. Weekly Rewind: John installs a TV that’s to smart for it’s own good. James thinks he’s invented a new phrase. Listener Stories: Volume Villan – Trevor Estuary Egress – William N. LBB of the Week – Tom Freaky Friday – Michelle...
The post 291: Emoroco appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Our most authentic and real show to date.
The post 9: Flippy the Fish appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re cleaning out the septic tank that the TSS inbox has become by telling all of the poop, pee, vomit and booger stories all in one show! It’s horrible. Visit our sponsor HelloFresh and get $80 off your first order: HelloFresh.com/THATSTORYSHOW80 and use the code THATSTORYSHOW80 Weekly Rewind: James – James has a guy say...
The post 290: The Message appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s weird when you forgive someone but still have ought against them. But is forgiveness a single act or a process? Let’s discuss.
The post 96: I Hate a Guy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Melissa dresses for Nerd Day on the wrong day! Jenna’s bus catches on fire and James has a guy speak his mind. What are you: Reading: The Diary of Anne Frank Watching: This is Us, Doctor Who Doing: Kansas City Trip Weekly Updates: Jenna’s bus catches on fire. James has a guy say the very...
The post 8: Nerd Day appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week it’s me and the (snarky) boy just hanging out and talking about J stuff.
The post 95: J appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s James, John and their boys: Johnnie, J and James… and Bobby (shudder) sharing various funny stories. Weekly Rewind: James and J – J bonks his head on the wall. John and James – Fun with Alexa Johnnie – Johnnie takes a crap Featured Story: James bursts through a bathroom door to save his son....
The post 289: That Son Show appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re going back to 2017 when Jenna was 12 years old and the first episode of the original Red School Bus came out. Hope you enjoy this trip to the past.
The post 7: The Undead Gerbil appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we take randomly generated words and tell the real-life stories that they evoke. Weekly Rewind: John’s son chooses the reproductive system for his health project James gets the pee scared out of him at a Cracker Barrel Stories from: Keith Heltsley – Squeaky Floor Boards – Grandpa tries to blame his gas on...
The post 288: Lisa Loves Poison appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re ranking the Star Wars films from best to worst. Thanks to Chris Tipton for the idea. It takes a total of 18 minutes, so the rest of the episode is me answering questions about my life.
The post 94: Ranking the Star Wars Films appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Jenna comes face-to-face with two wolves in someone’s house. Plus some hilarious real-life stories from our listeners… and some Dad Jokes. What are you: Reading: Hunger Games by Suzanna Collins Watching: Creeped Out! on Netflix, and Full House Doing: Looking at houses Weekly Updates: Jenna: Jenna describes her experience house-hunting with her parents… and a...
The post 6: Wolf House appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James falls through a hole in the floor after trying to fix it. Stories: Dad Joke Alert from Matthew Z. My Dad from Carrie Wright The Last Straws from David The Bogus Bonus from Trevor Subconscious Spender from Luke Kirk Daggum Foam Cups from Camille Zoo Poo from James the Great Mom Fight from Nathan...
The post 287: Triple-Wide Trailer appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Here’s what I believe when it comes to Ghosts and Spirits. Thanks to ViccaLyn for the suggestion. Support the show on Patreon.
The post 93: Ghosts and Spirits appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Haiku are cool. Jenna’s haiku is not. At least that’s what her dad says. Lots of fun stories this week! Enjoy!
The post 5: That’s Why I Am Green appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Guest-host Dan Snook delivers us a plethora of anecdotes along with a remarkable superabundance of audience stories! Thanks Thesaurus.com! Special thanks to our Patreon Supporters: Aaron Hughey, Allison Eargle, Ashley Alexander, Becky Phillips, Beth, Carrie Bernhardt, Carrie Wright, Chris (AHSOKA777FAN), Claire Iverson, Dana Mann-Tavegia, David Booth, Eric, Erik Fisher, Ethan Nicolle, Flash Jervis, Forest Fisk,...
The post 286: What’s Up With Uranus? appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Trick candles are the most fun when NOBODY knows they’re not normal candles. Shout-outs: HarmonicaGuy to Mercedes D Jenna to Krispy K. Stories from this episode: Heaven Can Wait from Tghorse Trevor Can Stay from PJ The Origin of My Elbow Scar from Ryan Lots of Damage from Will The Colossal Master Idiot from Moose...
The post 4: Secretly Trick Candles appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hilarious randomness this week as I answer questions generated from ConversationStarters.com. Stuff like: “What is harder exercising or eating right?” or “Would you rather be stuck in a house with someone you hate or stuck alone?” and even deeper topics like, “How do you think the world will end?” Enjoy!
The post 92: Conversation Starters appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
How far would you go to get a forgotten permission slip? Erik Fisher of Beyond The To-do List guest hosts.
The post 285: The Permission Thief appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re going through 10 things about the world and the life I live in it that I would change if I could. An alternative title would be Top 10 Things To Pray About. 😀 Check out my new YouTube Channel: That Story Show
The post 91: 10 Things I Would Change appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Good things come to those who wait… past the expiration date!
The post 3: Fuzzy Oreos appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
No matter what, this episode always comes back to movies. That’s because we’ve got Francisco and Paul from Retro Rewind Podcast and movies is their bread and butter. Enjoy! And check out Retro Rewind where they review movies from 15+ years ago to see if they hold up.
The post 284: Bug’s Life is the Worst appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Some thoughts and opinions on various religious topics such as Salvation, Eternal Security, The Unpardonable Sin, Prayer and more. Thanks to Lynette who was kind enough to offer a the suggestion for this episode.
The post 90: Stuff I Believe appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Ever hung from a branch by the seat of your pants? Lizzie has. Hilarious clean comedy for the whole family! Jenna’s reading: Monster Mayhem by Christopher Eliopoulos (affiliate link)
The post 02: Ten Seconds of Dangling appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
When a man named Scarface signs for your missing package, what do you do? Donna Harris from Constantly Under Construction guests and tells us just that. Check out the Constantly Under Construction podcast
The post 283: Scarface appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
First episode! Jenna thinks a man is going to send her to the moon!
The post 01: To the Moon appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’ve got another hilarious clean comedy podcast for you. This week we’re joined by Lucas Kirk who shares a story about a glow-in-the-dark drummer at a funeral.
The post 282: Glow Sticks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
The best dog I ever owned was a chicken.
The post 89: About Dogs appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week our stories share a common theme: something not being where it belongs. Momofboys has and experience with shark flavored ice. Courtney looses and finds a remote control. Mike has a run-in with a deer. Austin sees a guy go in the wrong bathroom. Fred shares a sink with an old man. Delaina uses...
The post 281: One of These Things Doesn’t Belong Here appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I don’t want to be overly protective of my children, but I do want to protect them. Where is the line between too much, and not enough? That and more in this episode.
The post 88: To Shelter or Not to Shelter appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
There’s something women like about a flea market man. At least that’s what Will believes as he’s hit on by an aggressive Southern female with secret ways. James tries to save a little white kid from being destroyed. David sees an old man goes in the wrong bathroom. John has a case of mistaken identity....
The post 280: Redneck Girl appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James talks about his life as it currently stands with Depression and Anxiety as well as what he hopes to get out of the new year.
The post 87: General Well-being Update appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Since John shared his Dead Bambi story as a comedy piece a couple shows back, we’re dedicating an entire show to stories that relate in some way to Death. LULZ!
The post 279: The Death Episode appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re talking about kids movies from a moral perspective… and the problems have with some of the folks who look at kids movies from a moral perspective.
The post 86: Kids Movies appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s a whole new year and we’re back with some great clean comedy stories. James shares about his holiday surgery, David yells at an LBB and John doesn’t care for matching pajamas when he’s going to the Polar Express. Plus we’re sharing your hilarious real life stories. Thanks to everyone who sent something in!
The post 278: Christmas Butt Surgery appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Not your typical top ten list. I’m sharing some pretty weird traits and asking why I have them. Links mentioned: My Buzz Collection (start with this one about Flagons) My Buzz Tattoo
The post 85: 10 Weird Things About Me appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
David shares a variety of hilarious real life stories from the past several weeks, plus your stories! Clean comedy at its finest!
The post 277: A Self-inflicted Wedgie appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James tells a funny story about a guy who wandered into a children’s emergency room. John brings a story about a dead baby deer. Uplifting and inspiring.
The post 276: Dead Bambi appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we share some of our greatest stories ever… and one that we will never speak of again.
The post 275: The Worst Story Ever appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Austin Reason joins us for our first Alternative Episode to share stories of life living in the South… in a trailer. Check out Austin’s podcast: Noobs and the Whovian
The post 274: Tribal Roaches appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s our annual Halloween Theme Show with stories that will make you want to scream… for a variety of reasons ranging from fear to disgust. You know how we roll.
The post 273: Don’t Watch Exorcist appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Let’s talk about my top 6 and bottom 6 Halloween candy list, plus some thoughts on what makes Halloween something I enjoy participating in. Halloween Costumes I’ve Made My address for sending full-sized Snickers.
The post 84: Best and Worst Halloween Candy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I find it nearly impossible to pray when I’m suffering. It’s because I’ve limited my definition of prayer to praise and asking for things. There is a way to pray during great suffering and it’s easier than you think.
The post 83: Praying During Suffering appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Special guest, Ethan Nicolle joins TSS this week to share a story of a girl he once crushed on so much that he created an entire band for her. Bacon and Waffles tells a story of his father hooking a bit more than a fish. Ryan is offered something that is defiantly not a snack...
The post 272: Nicole Nicholle appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James shares several stories of chills and thrills from his family’s visit to Six Flags over Saint Louis’ Fright Fest 2018. John tries to convince us he’s not a good person. James flops on the ground like a penguin. Claire has to deal with a tiny square mustache on her son’s German paper doll project....
The post 271: Stories from Fright Fest appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re talking about Jealousy people! It’s a monster that will eat every good thing in your life. Let’s talk about it.
The post 82: Must Be Nice appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week David tells of a harrowing excursion during his honeymoon led by a mysterious man who called himself Johnny Coca-cola. Also John is nearly gunned down by a guard. James still have trouble with his grapes. David is taking advantage of an old man. Missy wants Gwen Stefani eyebrows. Cole is saved by an...
The post 270: Johnny’s Quest appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I answer a question I found online, “What is the best thing about living in your city?” The answer is multi-part and goes to the core of why where here in the first place. Enjoy.
The post 81: The Best Things About Living in Saint Louis appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Everyone’s favorite Canadian Co-host is our special guest this week sharing stories from his time away from us. Plus lots of other great clean comedy stories: John impresses an excitable Canadian. James has trouble with some ambitious grapes. Trevor has a disappointing bird problem. Amanda falls apart at a funeral she wasn’t even supposed to...
The post 269: It’s Trevor Time! appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
After a long weekend of visits and feelings, what makes me who I am? Is it what I do? Is it who I think I am? And if so, how do I know I’m right?
The post 80: Who Am I? appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James shares a horrible story of the torture and pain associated with having his finger stitched up after a woodcarving mishap. Also James is part of a terrible line at Target. John calls a bunch of guys wieners. Bryan’s son busts his head open to the skull. Emily almost dies on a sled. Steve the...
The post 268: Finger Flap appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I usually try to be upbeat and positive… but this time around I’ve got to vent about 13 really stupid things that drive me right up the wall.
The post 79: 13 Things I Hate appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week’s show is a time capsule of clean comedy featuring unused stories from 2008… yes, 10 years ago. Enjoy your trip back in time! Rybo has multi-colored puke, Linda’s 90’s phone does a Rodney Dangerfield right up and into a commode, a 40-year-old thinks she’s stroking out because of some bad glasses, a kid...
The post 267: The Time Capsule appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I’m reading some of the feedback emails we’ve gotten from the various NLCast Community shows. These emails are from folks who have found comfort from one of the podcast episodes. It’s hard to believe that a hobby can have an impact. That just attempting to share your life can have an effect on...
The post 78: Emails from You appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week TSS is bringing you more clean comedy as John shares the story of the worst Christmas he can remember. James reminds us that your little fir babies are still animals. John’s son’s feet are too big. Christina swears that The Bee War is coming. Katie can’t understand what she’s reading. Nate needs Viagra,...
The post 266: Christmas With Grandma appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I answer your questions from our Facebook group over at www.facebook.com/groups/nlcast. Questions about pop culture, faith, hopes for my children, my cpap, the most amazing thing God has ever done, what I wanted to be when I grew up, how I feel about Saint Louis, advice for newly weds, politics and Voldemort. A...
The post 77: Questions from Facebook appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
When James needs help with a private medical issue, wouldn’t you know the male doctor would be out of the office! Plus James’ eye is leaking, John’s afraid of the man in his sister’s bathroom, Lucas has conversations with his sleeping wife, Canaan has special toothpaste, Clare’s mom is going to lose that toe, rats...
The post 265: Hot Doctor II appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
What are you supposed to do when you know that Depression is already creeping it’s way into your life… and it scares the crap out of you? It’s one thing to fear the unknown, but when you already know what depression can do to a life firsthand, how do you cope? This week we’re going...
The post 76: Depression Ahead appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s not Sunday but we do have a whole lot of listener submitted stories for you this week! John’s son has relationship drama, James messes up a middle schooler’s ride experience, refrigerators are peed in, waffles are stomped, and college kids are embarrassed. Enjoy!
The post 264: Listener Submission Sunday appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This is the last in a brief series where I’ve interviewed members of my own family about the effects of my depression and anxiety on our family. You’ll enjoy my wife’s perspective on the whole horrible mess.
The post 75: Jennifer’s Perspective appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James tells the Featured Story about an embarrassing moment at Subway. John’s kids rename themselves. James’ son is an evil comedy genius. We’ve got another Mommy Lifehack, some great listener submissions and the Recap Song. Enjoy!
The post 263: Shirtless at Subway appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Warning!!! Not for the kids! 18+. No bad words just a very adult topic. Are we allowed to look lustfully at a woman as long as it’s a photograph and we don’t assume the subject’s intention was to entice us to lust? The article I’m discussing uses a few scriptures and a lot of fluff...
The post 74: Lust is Legal? appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John shares the story of his nearly fatal car crash from two years back. Plus, what do you do with the body of a dead giant? What happens when you’re shooting arrows and your wife has a baby? What does a yawn and a hiccough sound like. All this and more on this episode of...
The post 262: Cutting off the Clothes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Warning: This is not for the kids. References to sex, pornography, and corporal punishment of wives. I found a website with some pretty serious content that made me laugh, but then got me upset, then got me wanting to make fun of it all. Join with me as I read an entire article written by...
The post 73: Fun With Biblical Gender Roles appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re talking about what we’ve been up to for the past two years, middle school dumpster diving, mommy life hacks, asking fathers for permission to marry their daughters, a naked bike race, an inappropriate child, returning anything to Walmart, fiancée boogers. and much, much more.
The post 261: Life Hacks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re interviewing my one and only 10 year old son, J. He’s just spent a week at camp which was three hours away. We discuss the fun he had and the experiences with God during the evening services. Then we chat a bit about what it’s like to have a dad struggling with...
The post 72: Sleepaway Church Camp appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
My 13 y/o daughter shares what it was like living with a depressed father who had to give up the job he loved. Easily the best podcast I’ve ever recorded. Love the show? Consider supporting it on Patreon!
The post 71: My Daughter’s Perspective appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I started this episode on Monday night feeling like crap. I finished it on Wednesday feeling much better. Have fun!
The post 70: Depressed Half the Show appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week I’m sharing a series of conversations I had with my 10 year-old son about fear. I totally didn’t know what I was doing, but what I did worked so I wanted to share it with you. Feedback and questions welcomed!
The post 69: Helping A Fearful Child appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode I’m sharing two stories that will convince you that I’m a pretty good husband, but a terrible dad. You’re going to hear about our 22 wedding anniversary odyssey and how my daughter spent 1.5 hours locked out of the house. Enjoy my glory and my shame.
The post 68: Great Husband, Bad Father appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This is a unique episode featuring several segments recorded over the course of our family vacation to Branson, Missouri and Silver Dollar City. You’re getting stories, you’re getting descriptions of rides and food, you’re getting some very silly interviews with the kids. and best of all, a guestbook entry from Zoe S. Just excuse the...
The post 67: Zoe S. appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Say you’re a 44 year old at a water park looking like a overweight Mr. Mom and bored as crap, what would you do? Own it!
The post 66: Palms and Pineapples appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode I give my opinion on marijuana use and why I believe the way I do. Join the NLCast Network Community on Facebook!
The post 65: About Weed appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Bi-Polar: Am I up today or down? Who knows. I’m podcasting anyway.
The post 64: Up or Down? appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Not so much a life plan as a list of things I want to focus on with my life now that depression is starting to let me go.
The post 63: Life Plan appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Who do I geek out about? Find out today! Plus MMD’s, weekly updates, and your feedback! Huge thanks to Aaron, Lucas, Flash, Carrie, Carrie, Ryan, Emily, Julie, Leesa, Chad, Peter, Scott, Zane and Scott for their Patreon support!
The post 62: Who I Geek Out About appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Weekly updates, MMD’s, discussion and responses to your emails! Check out my Patreon and support this podcast! Under the Icing – sermon mentioned in the episode.
The post 61: Why I Don’t Podcast appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Do fail videos keep people from attempting new things? We’re talking about it. Also some Made My Day moments (MMD’s). Enjoy!
The post 60: FAIL! appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Hey! I haven’t posted here for nearly a year. Enjoy a brief update.
The post 59: Hey! appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Clean comedy for the whole family. This week we’re telling stories about: Dead Tropical Fish, Dead Pandas, A Hungry Dentist, and more. Plus our quiz and Would I Lie To You game! Support us via Patreon!
The post 260: Dead Pandas appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’ve got more clean-comedy spitting your way: A bloody gerbil, Vaccinating a teddy bear, Taking out your brain, A psycho hospital toilet and much more! Support us via Patreon!
The post 259: Spit Pool appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
When it comes to motivation there are two types of people in the world. Enjoy the random ramblings about the day I quit and why, the difference a year made and more.
The post 58: Motivation appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’ve got some great clean-comedy stories for ya: Puddle o’ Lando, an assistant headed to H-E double-hockey-sticks, Flammable 70’s Shag, Stolen goose head, and why James has to beat his car. Support us via Patreon!
The post 258: H-E Double Hockey Sticks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re keeping it real with the stories that make MMD moments the little miracles that they are. Those dealing with depression, bi-polar or anxiety will appreciate this.
The post 37: She Stayed appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
John quizzes our knowledge of butt trivia. Christian shares some tips on how to enjoy Islands of Adventure in Tampa, Florida. Graham C’s sister shares where here hair went. So much more. A great episode! Patrons get your bonus audio here. Support us via Patreon!
The post 257: Jumble Guns appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode we’re catching up on a week and a half of MMD’s: Stressing over Sonic, a $200 mistake, a pleasant thank you, getting a library card so the kids could get books, making Harry Potter wands… and my son’s reaction when I gave him one.
The post 36: He Cried appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’ve got more clean comedy for ya. Stories about tire trouble, bonfire burdens, terrible tubes, flippin’ the bird, and a bloodball! Support us via Patreon!
The post 256: The Tubes appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s time to dig down deep into the weird world of the average American middle schooler. What do they think is funny? How about writing with poop, Making a bad joke before a funeral, Being cast as a Donkey, Slipping in mud trying to kick someone and more! Support us via Patreon! [podcast-connect]
The post 255: Middle School Drama II appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re celebrating not having to go to the Price is Right Live, teasing my son about being adopted, and playing Monopoly with the kids for the first time.
The post 35: Monopoly appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re going to talk about Valentine’s Day, adoption, name changes, and how it all fits together.
The post 57: Valentine’s Day appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James, John, and Christian bring you clean comedy stories about: Wedgies, swapping chromebooks, handcuffs, Walmart, and bad sandwich meat. Support us via Patreon!
The post 254: Fantastic Yanks appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we celebrate: Spilling my guts at church; Realizing I have a Ward; Having Donovan on That Story Show; Dinner at Culvers instead of being at church; Guesting on slant.fm podcast; and my daughter stealing water at Target.
The post 34: Ward appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James, John, Christian AND special guest-host Donovan Adkisson bring you clean comedy stories about: Red Box, a School buss disaster, a racist baby, and a warm plate of Not-Queso dip.
The post 253: Sibilance appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re kicking anxiety’s butt with the following moments: Setting up an appointment to guest-host a podcast. Talking about how bad “Don’t Blink” stunk after church. Going to see an old church building and wondering about church demons. Helping an 8th grader with homework. Having my efforts appreciated. A new theme for NLCast.com. My friend...
The post 33: Church Demons appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James, John and Christian bring you clean comedy stories about: Kids wishing they could remember infancy. Is the Pastor’s house messy? Getting blamed for a messy bathroom stall. Peacock Pie. A tattletale TV. Sunday School Survival. A 7th grader and his brother enjoy a bee attack. Also thanks to Trainkid9 for his “One From...
The post 252: And My Brother appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re slapping depression upside the head by celebrating the following moments: a Facebook Drawing Challenge, admitting we don’t know enough about God to have a clear opinion, surviving a snowy drive to Wendy’s, recording a podcast episode, sledding on cardboard, a business lunch, and finishing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets with...
The post 32: Cardboard appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Part two of our look at proper discipline in the home is what God expects from parents and kids both. Lot’s of scriptures in this one… and a ton of common sense.
The post 56: Discipline in Detail 2 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James, John and Christian bring you clean comedy stories from childhood. Funny stories about the silly things kids say, the things they do for fun, and the misunderstandings they often have. It’ll make you want to get a job as a “Checklinester”. Support us via Patreon!
The post 251: Flag Flying appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re celebrating the following moments: Feeling dumb at the gym; Talking bi-polar with a new friend; Making my daughter laugh; Having a new friend over to the new house.
The post 31: Newspaper appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Who knew librarians had “Library Stories” where patrons lose their minds? Chris Cowan of Pop Mockers has a 3-year-old who thinks if you have a big belly, you’re having a baby… no matter what your gender. John brings the Quiz-Knows. James brings a story for “Would I Lie To You”. Christian brings “One From The...
The post 250: The Injustice appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
If last episode was a survey of proper discipline, this episode is an in detail look at what discipline is, what it’s not, why it’s important, how to establish rewards and consequences as well as an introduction of the consequence ladder and a review of the behavior diagram so you know when to punish and...
The post 55: Discipline in Detail 1 appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re celebrating the following moments: Seeing Star Wars in lounge chairs. Meeting up with kids from my children’s ministry. Setting up podcast equipment. Seeing Star Wars again with the kids.
The post 30: Watching Star Wars appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James’ daughter does something stupid with her hair. John sees James from the past. Christian can’t get the bar stools her ordered. Plus new segments and listener stories! Best clean funny podcast! Support us via Patreon!
The post 249: Small Briefs appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
An undisciplined child is a miserable child. Today I’m talking about the importance of proper discipline when it comes to our children. Your feedback and/or questions will be addressed in the next episode.
The post 54: On Discipline appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re in our new house. Moving right before Christmas is for the birds. What did you get for Christmas?
The post 53: A Very Busy Christmas appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James, J and Jenna run through the Christmas Story… unfortunately Dad is a loser and messes it all up.
The post 46: We Tell The Christmas Story appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
I’m back! We’re going through the past 5 days of my life pulling at least one thing out of each that made that day worthwhile. I hope it is a blessing to you and helps you to celebrate the little, tiny, wonderful things in life.
The post 29: Very Important Job appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode we’re talking about folks who do and don’t celebrate Halloween; My daughter’s costume: The Candybot 3000; Body painting; Jokes for candy; Buying a house and a 1975 VW Beetle. Enjoy!
The post 52: Halloween on Cherokee appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This time around you’re getting an update on the past three months, answers to your AMA questions, and some things that you forget about when you’ve been depressed for 2+ years.
The post 51: Ask Me Anything appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Christian has troubles with a grill. John sends a text message to the wrong person. James hates his stupid dog. Plus listener stories!
The post 248: The Fireball appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week: Awesome things we had to give up as children because of Jesus. TVGuardians bleep even God’s name. A knee injury where “the same color as pizza grease” is mentioned. Lastly Graham C’s sister hacks his email to send in a story of her own. Enjoy!
The post 247: Mostly Graham appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week it’s Critical Points, Cheesecakes, and Corn. K. Micheal Prince joins us!
The post 246: Corn appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re identifying the beats in Pixar’s 1995 hit, Toy Story! This movie turned out to be a lot more challenging than we first thought. Be amazed as James goes full-on Buzz Lightyear fanboy. Video Clip: The Clues to a Great Story (Warning: Explicit Language). Support Movie Beatdown on Patreon! [podcast-connect]
The post 13: Toy Story appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Lucas’ Dad embarrasses him after meeting a cute Redhead on a plane. Graham plays a mean game of Monkey in the Middle. Steve’s Dad paints his own eyes yellow. Enjoy!
The post 245: Cute Redhead appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Christian finds an awesome aquarium and then completely messes the whole thing up! Plus your stories!
The post 244: Aquarium of Doom appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re identifying the beats in 1993’s Jurassic Park. Is Hammond the real protagonist or is he a little flannelgraph god? Is the truck in the tree scene symbolic of how nature can’t be controlled? Tune in! We also announce the winners of our Save The Cat book giveaway contest.
The post 12: Jurassic Park appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re back…. again! This week James, John and Christian spin yarns and tell tales. What kind of tales? How about having a 7 year-old kick your butt at chess? A dog pooping out balloons and a little boy who tries to help a church lady with her church dress. Clean comedy baby!
The post 243: The Church Dress Mess appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
From my very first encounter with the Confederate Flag it has symbolized just one thing. You might be surprised what this Southern-born American thinks. Plus a few words on the typical Christian response to the things happening in the world.
The post 50: My Confederate Flag Experience appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James and Paul return, identifying the beats in 1984’s Ghostbusters. How can a movie that misses so many beats be such a success? Would it be if released today? Enjoy the discussion! Listen for your chance to win a copy of Blake Snyder’s book, Save the Cat! Ghostbusters – Three unemployed parapsychology professors set up shop...
The post 11: Ghostbusters appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
No matter how far away you move there is one thing you can never get away from… yourself.
The post 49: Wherever You Go appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This episode I talk about whether or not I deserved for my life to be disrupted so drastically by Major Depression, Anxiety and Bipolarism. Also, did God allow it and if so, how does one deal with that?
The post 48: What I Deserve appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s been SIX MONTHS since my last entry. Crazy how time flies. I haven’t podcasted in two months… here’s why.
The post 47: Moving appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s a ton of fun to think about what you’re going to be when you grow up! Will you be a teacher, a fireman, a farmer or a ninja? This week we’re celebrating possibilities and discussing how choices affect our future.
The post Grateful Kid 04: What We’re Going To Be appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Amy burns the Perfect Pancake. Steve can’t dance even inside his Mall Bunny costume. Puppy Dragon’s brother is Desperately Seeking Squiggly. Jaryd’s 7 year-old sister is a Batty Biker.
The post 242: Puppy Dragon appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We’re giving the Save The Cat treatment to 1998’s “Can’t Hardly Wait”. This one was a lot of fun… and a lot to learn.
Bonus audio for Patreon Supporters here.
Can’t Hardly Wait – Multicharacter teenage comedy about high school graduates with different agenda of life on graduation night. – IMDB
Written and Directed by: Harry Elfont & Deborah Kaplan
Hosts: James, John, Paulie, and Christian.
Support Movie Beatdown for $1 an episode via Patreon. Unlock bonus audio content!
Want to influence which movie we do next? Check out our Subreddit.
The post 10: Can’t Hardly Wait appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Steve has a real-life Mighty Mouse appear. Brittany looses her eyebrow piercing. Arlyn becomes a trapper catapult. Issac gets a girl off him and Daniel has a bad case of the black socks.
The post 241: Big Gas Grill appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week John tells of a Facebook Birthday post that left him bent over with laughs. Jennifer returns as guest-host.
The post 240: Birthday Backbend appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James, John, Paulie and Christian beat out Guardians of the Galaxy according to the 15 beats taught by Blake Snyder in his book Save the Cat and Save the Cat Strikes Back.
Guardians of the Galaxy – A group of intergalactic criminals are forced to work together to stop a fanatical warrior from taking control of the universe. – IMDB
Written by: James Gunn and Nicole Perlman.
Hosts: James, John, Paulie, and Christian.
Support Movie Beatdown for $1 an episode via Patreon. Unlock bonus audio content!
Want to influence which movie we do next? Check out our Subreddit.
The post 09: Guardians of the Galaxy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James’ wife Jennifer fills the second-chair in John’s place. Jenn shares her brave battle against a pest located under her car.
The post 239: The Bunny appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
We catch up a bit from our Holiday Break and share several hilarious Middle School and Homeschool stories. Warning: It’s funny…
The post 238: School Bus appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Today we’re James, John and Christian are telling stories about their Christmas experiences, memories and traditions.
The post 237: Christmas Magic appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Madeline from Tallahassee shares an…interesting story about an interesting character from her job at Goodwill.
This Week’s Stories * The Bonfils Incident [11:20] * Crotch Rotch [16:17] * Snot Shirt [18:57] * Sweater Puppies [20:20] * Rerouted [25:03] * Horse Crap [27:14] * Dixie’s Yellow Jacket [32:32]
The post 236: Goodwill appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
How do you explain Depression to a kid? What is it? How does it feel? What can kids do to help someone who is depressed? This episode, while not exhaustive, will help any child understand what someone with Depression is going through.
Whatcha Reading? * The Lightning Thief*
Whatcha Watching? * The Rocketeer*
Watcha Playing? * Yoshi’s New Island – Nintendo 3DS * Pokemon Art Academy – Nintendo 3DS
- Affialiate links
The post 45: Explaining Depression appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James, John, Paulie and Christian are joined by Stephen Schleicher of MajorSpoilers.com as we beat out The Princess Bride.
The Princess Bride – A classic fairy tale, with swordplay, giants, an evil prince, a beautiful princess, and yes, some kissing (as read by a kindly grandfather). – IMDB
Written by: William Goldman (Book & Screenplay)
Hosts: James, John, Paulie, and Christian.
Support Movie Beatdown for $1 a month via Patreon. Unlock bonus audio content!
Want to influence which movie we do next? Check out our Subreddit.
The post 08: The Princess Bride appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
James, John and guest-host Christian share funny real-life stories. This week Justin tells us about his least favorite outhouse. Hint: It’s the furthest one.
This Week’s Stories * Snap, Crackle, Pop [16:52] * Bloody Bathroom [20:36] * Feeding Time [26:13] * Hose the Devil Off [28:55] * The Stinky Foot [34:51] * Godzilla [37:38] * Little Mr. Cheese Guy [39:50] * Nightmare Flies [45:02]
The post 235: Snap, Crackle, Pop appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re celebrating The Outdoors! Some of the best memories kids will make will be something they did while outside.
The post Grateful Kid 03: Going Outside appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Remember, remember the 7th of November. Okay so we missed it by a day (it was recorded on the 6th). This episode we’re arguing about themes, how many protagonists, and story lines there are. All in good fun. With amazing visuals and dialog that the Wachowskis are known for, we bring you our best attempt at the V for Vendetta BS2.
V for Vendetta – In a future British tyranny, a shadowy freedom fighter plots to overthrow it with the help of a young woman. – IMDB
Written by:Andy Wachowski (screenplay), Lana Wachowski (screenplay), and David Lloyd (Graphic Novel)
Hosts: James, John, Paulie, and Christian.
Do you have input? Leave a comment below!
Want to influence which movie we do next? Check out our Subreddit.
What’s our next movie? Follow us on Twitter to find out!
The post 07: V for Vendetta appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week James and Jennifer go through their week highlighting the things about each day that made that day worthwhile. Everything from Jenna earning the Game Ball to J winning a drawing contest with his Dad.
The post 28: Drawing Contest appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
When you’re little it’s easy to make friends but the older you get, sometimes the harder it gets. This week Jenna shares three stories from three new friends she’s made since starting her new school back in August.
Whatcha Reading? * Sisters by Riana Telgemeier * Storm Runners by Roland Smith
Whatcha Watching? * Hocus Pocus
Watcha Playing? * Tomodachi Life * Mario Kart 7
[podcast-connect]
- Affialiate links
The post 44: Making New Friends appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’ve got a ton of listener-submitted late Halloween Stories and a new segment titled, Homeschool Report! Oh, and John makes fun of Italian Greyhounds.
This Week’s Stories * A Grave Goodbye [14:38] * Death Angel [17:09] * Me As A Girl [21:33] * The Un-Enhanced Story [24:53] * On A Stick [31:45] * Fly Larvae [34:38] * Fruit Salad [41:15] * The Haunted Bathroom [46:22] * Halloween Spelling Dog [49:24]
The post 234: Italian Greyhound appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Made My Day is back! My wife Jennifer joins me as our new co-host and will be sharing her MMD moments right along with me. Enjoy!
The post 27: Jennifer Made My Day appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re grateful for Restaurants. We all love going out to eat, but how can kids show their thankfulness while they’re enjoying the meal?
Special thanks to Kevin Brown and Nina Johnson for our theme song!
The post Grateful Kid 02 – Grateful for Restaurants appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
After several years in private christian school, my 4th grade daughter is in public school for the first time. Today I’m talking about how grateful I am that she’s being exposed to how other people live and how they believe.
The post 46: My Unsheltered Kid appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week John is in recovery from his Halloween Alternative event and we’re joined by Break Room Studio‘s Chris Cowan who learns, thanks to a listener’s story, that Zumba is stupid.
This Week’s Stories * The Most Embarrassing Moment in the History of My Life [17:04] * Zumba Is Stupid [21:26] * The Guy Who Tried Way Too Hard [24:24] * Inspired by Kirk [28:48] * The Funeral Home Church [33:45] * Poop on a Tree [36:46] * Fake Child Abuse [39:05] * Yellow Drank [40:59]
The post 233: Zumba Is Stupid appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
It’s October and we wanted to review a screenwriting train wreck… so with at least 4 screenwriting credits listed in IMDB we chose a film so bad it’s scary.
United Nations employee Gerry Lane traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments, and threatening to destroy humanity itself. – IMDB
With James, Paulie, and Christian.
What’s our next movie? Follow us on Twitter to find out!
The post 06: World War Z appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
When you’re a first-born being bossy seems to come naturally but bossing requires something that kids don’t have… authority. This week we’re talking about alternatives to bossing and getting bossed!
The post 43: Being Bossy appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Elizabeth shares a story about her first Krispy Kreme doughnut, and the less-than-fresh milk she got to enjoy with it.
This Week’s Stories * Shower Socks [2:35] * The Ninja Termite [7:05] * Highway Moon [14:22] * Crispy Cream [16:20] * Tooth Extraction Conniption [19:52] * The Legless Turtle [24:13] * Fun With Trenches [27:46] * Crazy Old Great-Uncle Dr. Wade [30:27] * Deep Frozen Fear [32:58] * A Crisp Morning Jog [35:22] * Nature’s Milk Duds [37:23]
The post 232: Crispy Cream appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re identifying the 15 beats of ParaNorman according to Blake Snyder’s, Save The Cat.
A misunderstood boy takes on ghosts, zombies and grown-ups to save his town from a centuries-old curse. – IMDB
With James, John, Paulie, and Christian.
What’s our next movie? Follow us on Twitter!
The post 05: ParaNorman appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Depression forced me to give up my job as a pastor. After 1 year, 7 months and 2 days, this is the sermon I thought I’d never preach.
The post 45: Under The Icing appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Vacation is supposed to be relaxing and restful. So why are all of our stories about getting sick and nearly killing your kids? Enjoy!
The post 231: Vacation Stories appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This past Sunday I did something that for a long time I believed I’d never do again.
The post 44: The Great Comeback appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re identifying the 15 beats of Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring with Blake Snyder’s, Save The Cat.
A meek hobbit of the Shire and eight companions set out on a journey to Mount Doom to destroy the One Ring and the dark lord Sauron. – IMDB
With James, John, Paulie, and Christian.
What’s our next movie? Follow us on Twitter!
The post 04: LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
Welcome to the first episode of That Story Show! This week we’re sharing your funny real-life stories and inviting you to do the same.
This Week’s Stories: * Dog’s Can’t Tell Time [4:30] * Bad News BBQ [6:46] * A Bugged Life [15:07] * The Pinch [18:11] * She’s Got An Arm Off [21:24] * Every Rose Has It’s Thorn [23:20] * Cheesy Noodles [25:45] * Gotta Lotta Soul [29:22] * Pennies To Heaven [30:53 ] * Stage Fart [32:51] * Sugar Cereal Killer [34:56 ]
The post 230: A Focused Shiver appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.
This week we’re celebrating about three weeks of stuff… and the fact that I don’t need to do this show anymore.
The post 26: Me and Parry Gripp appeared first on Nobody’s Listening Podcast Community.