https://youtu.be/O-8omCpiWRQ Not all holidays are merry when you've been abandoned, leaving you with emotional pain and a feeling of suffocating. It can leave you with a fear of drowning, literally, and emotionally. Some people get stuck there in the sea of sorrow as adults, replaying the scene that happened to me for the first time at 12 years old when my daddy told me he was leaving us, leaving me. I remember that day, some 50 years later, and that scene of being dragged off Nana's front porch while kicking and screaming at the news of divorce devastated me as a child. It happened to me again when the one that I once loved left me. The trauma of abandonment triggered my 12 year old memories, making the emotional pain greater than before. It was hard to breathe for a long time. Counseling helped me greatly, when I was brave enough to face the pain that I could no longer contain, and I realized in counseling that I was full of self-loathing in my 30's and 40's, in large part because of the day that my daddy left me: I blamed myself as the oldest child who was held responsible for raising siblings as a child myself. So, if you have been abandoned, I feel for you. I encourage you to find someone to talk to who can help you process this horrible burden, because no one should suffer with this while being alone, and oh, so lonely. And if you need prayer for healing, please let me know. Miracles still happen, which is why I'm posting this on the 8th day of Hanukkah. Listen and remember in a safe place, and let those feeling go like an imaginary balloon to the heavens, and God will help you through, as He still does for me:) http://www.unitedmasters.com/debra-cohen-music