I asked my brother to get me a magician or a stand up comedian to do a personal show for just me, for Christmas. The performer can do the show in my living room while I drink beer and smoke cigarettes. I will try not to be enthused with the performance and when I get up for another beer I will punch the wall. I will not say anything to them and try to be angry the whole time. In doing this it will be the most uncomfortable gig of their career. If they are smart and talented they will use this material in later shows, otherwise, they shouldn't make this career.