You really don't feel like being sociable, but they are calling on you to join in, mingle, enjoy time together. As a social being, do you have a duty to join in? Or are you entitled to stay aloof just now, do your own thing?

First, perceive the situation clearly.

What are they asking of you? Are they demanding your participation? Or is that your own interpretation of what they are saying? Perhaps they just want you to know that you are welcome to join them if you like. How it seems is unimportant. Only their actual intent is relevant to your social duty. And that, ultimately, rests on indifferent grounds: what others think about you, how they judge your duties to yourself and others.

What is this impulse to stay separate? Is it a passing fancy - an aversion that will evaporate once you are actually engaged in the group? Or does it signal a deeper need - for solitude, for quiet, for your own uninterrupted company? If it's a passing fancy, then by all means join in. Ignore the irrational aversion, so that it may be weaker next time and you may be stronger. If it's a deeper need, then you may be justified in following it - but remember that this does not require you to be snappy or rude. Simply excuse yourself without ceremony or debate, and seek your own space.

You do have a duty to participate in the social side of life. Sometimes, this may mean stretching beyond your normal inclination for social engagement. Exerting yourself. Stepping out of your comfort zone.

But you also have a duty to see to your own well-being, physical and mental. Sometimes this may mean leaving others to entertain each other while you engage in some solitary activity.

It is up to you to decide what is needed right now, without giving undue weight either to the perceived demands of others or to your own introverted tendencies. Is the duty of this moment more on the social side or the self-care side?

This podcast is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. Music is from the track "Which That is This" by Doctor Turtle, also distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. It can be found at http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Doctor_Turtle/Jonahs_Message_for_New_York/Which_That_Is_This


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