Well, I thought it might be helpful just as we start this evening to give you just a super simple overview of Proverbs. And when I say super simple, I really do mean super simple. But I just thought something that’s been helpful to me just to catch the overall terrain of the book.
(0:20 – 0:34)
So chapters one to nine is the choice of wisdom. It’s an appeal to the son to decide to choose God’s wisdom. And then chapters 10 to 29 is the content of wisdom.
(0:34 – 0:54)
And it’s mostly hundreds and hundreds of little pithy Proverbs that are giving insight into the skill of living well. And there’s 19 chapters of these sayings. And then in chapters 30 and 31, yes, some more content, some more Proverbs.
(0:55 – 1:10)
But for a few reasons that we’ll get into when we come to those final chapters, I think chapters 30 and 31 are wrapping up the whole book. They are special chapters. They’re written by different authors and they’re summing up the main lessons of Proverbs.
(1:11 – 1:50)
So hopefully that’ll be just a little bit helpful just to orientate you to the book. But the question that I’ve been mulling over quite a lot is, how do we preach the middle chunk of Proverbs? How do we deal with the bulk of it, chapters 10 to 29? Are we gonna preach a sermon a week on a Proverb a week? That could take us 25 years. Well, in the morning series, we’re going to actually tackle two of those chapters, chapter 10 and chapter 16, and they might turn out to be the worst sermons you’ve ever heard.
(1:51 – 2:11)
I don’t know how those are gonna go, but we’re gonna give it a go on two Sunday mornings. But I guess the main thing we’re going to do in the evenings, we’re going to look at the content in themes. So we’re gonna group together different concepts, different themes, and we’re gonna just look at a number of Proverbs to make it a little simpler.
(2:12 – 2:34)
So tonight we’re looking at the theme of words. And this is going to be hugely practical, very challenging, but I hope in the end really encouraging. Because bear in mind that the book of Proverbs was written to help the simple become wise and help the wise add to their learning.
(2:35 – 2:57)
So the basis of this book, the premise it’s starting from is that each of us can grow in wisdom. We don’t need to come here defeatist as we look at these topics, but we can make steady growth even in the area of our words. And I’m sure that all of us will appreciate that our words is an area where we do need to keep growing in.
(2:58 – 3:17)
I came across a statistic this week. It’s one of these, how do they measure the statistics? But it said that the average person speaks 16,000 words a day. So even if you don’t get your 10,000 steps in, you probably get in your 16,000 words a day.
(3:18 – 3:42)
And some of those words, I’m sure many of them are helpful words, they’re needed words, they’re truthful words, they’re loving words. But if you’re anything like me, there are plenty of those words that you wish you could just catch and put back into your mouth. And so Solomon here addresses us as sons, daughters as well, who need to mature.
(3:43 – 3:54)
And he gives us a number of, I mean, many different Proverbs on words. And he scatters these throughout chapters 10 to 29. And I’ve just selected four of them.
(3:55 – 4:08)
These are just sort of representative of some of the things he says, but I hope this will be helpful. So the first Proverb is chapter 10, verse 19. Chapter 10, verse 19.
(4:09 – 4:31)
And I know many of you are looking at this in the NIV, which is okay, but I prefer the translation here of the ESV. I think it’s a better translation in this case. It says, when words are many, transgression is not absent, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
(4:32 – 4:48)
So the principle here is that wise people are restrained in their speech. Wise people do not talk too much. As we’ve said, as human beings, we inevitably speak a lot.
(4:49 – 5:27)
We need to communicate for all sorts of different reasons, both fundamental to remain alive and viable human beings, but also for social reasons, for loving reasons, for kindness reasons, we need to communicate. And yet the warning of Solomon here is don’t speak overly much, because if you speak too much, it becomes inevitable that sin will not be absent. Jesus once said, didn’t he, that it’s out of the heart that the mouth speaks.
(5:28 – 6:10)
And I don’t know what the condition of your heart is, but while we have plenty of sanctified thoughts in our hearts at times, and hopefully some godly ideas and good things that run around our brain, we also have plenty of wrong things in our heads, things we wouldn’t like others to know we’re thinking. And so it follows then that if we just keep on speaking long enough, if we just keep on upping the quantity of our words that we say out loud, more of what is unhelpful will seep out. This is what you call an antithetical proverb.
(6:11 – 6:24)
An antithetical proverb is a proverb with two halves, which are a contrast to each other. Notice the word but in the middle. So when words are many, transgression is not absent.
(6:24 – 6:49)
But here’s the contrast, whoever restrains their tongue is prudent. A prudent person is a cautious person in the best sense. A prudent person is wisely careful, wisely careful not to sin against the Lord and wisely careful not to harm those made in his image.
(6:50 – 7:09)
And that kind of wisely careful person restrains their tongue. You hear people say sometimes in a moment of provocation, I held it in, you know, I could have said something. I almost said something, but I didn’t say it.
(7:10 – 7:24)
And that’s probably for the best on most of those occasions. Controlling the quantity of your words is one way of living with wisdom. One commentator says, words are like sheep.
(7:25 – 7:42)
The more there are, the better chances that some will go astray. And of course, the world is not encouraging us in the Bible’s direction here at all. The advice tends to be in the opposite direction.
(7:44 – 8:00)
A few people are telling us to tone down the number of our words. Folk are saying, speak up, say more, be bold, get out there and let the world know what you think. And it’s not just in person that we have opportunity with this, but also online.
(8:00 – 8:22)
It’s electronic communication that means we can contact hundreds of people very easily and simply. And so many people are saying, just speak, just talk, just keep going with sentence after sentence. And yet wisdom is telling us, have your words on a short leash.
(8:24 – 8:39)
The quality of your words goes down in proportion to the quantity. Now, yes, sometimes people speak too little. Sometimes it’s actually unloving to say too little.
(8:39 – 8:55)
And sometimes things need to be said that are not said. And silence, as one writer says, is ambiguous. Someone’s silent, you don’t know whether they’re for you or against you, whether you think it’s good or it’s bad.
(8:55 – 9:06)
So it’s ambiguous. And that’s about unsettling. But it’s better than filling every moment with words that will eventually betray the thoughts that are within.
(9:07 – 9:34)
The Lord Jesus knew when to speak, but he also knew when to remain silent. So let me just give you just a few possible areas where this would apply. If you’re a parent, and of course you need to be instructing your children, know when the quantity of your words is leading you to say things that are less and less helpful.
(9:35 – 9:48)
Right, I mean, some of you know that in a disciplining situation. You’ve said the piece, you’ve said what needs to be said, but you just keep going. And the longer you go, the less helpful the things are that you say.
(9:50 – 10:25)
Think of it in conversation with friends and with people that you know, I don’t know if this is just me, maybe this is just my own weakness, but I don’t know if you can relate to this. But I find that the longer I have a conversation with somebody, the longer it goes on for on the phone or in a coffee shop, very often the quality of the conversation decreases the longer it goes. And so a one hour chat on the phone is likely to be more fruitful and godly and positive than if it’s a three hour chat on the phone.
(10:26 – 10:38)
Maybe that’s just me, but it seems to me that often the longer we talk, the less edifying things can sometimes become. It’s at least a possible danger. And so we need the wisdom of this proverb.
(10:39 – 10:55)
Why? Because of the second one, second proverb, Proverbs 12, verse 18. Proverbs 12, verse 18. The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
(10:57 – 11:07)
And so the second principle is that wise people know the impact of their words. They know the impact. Words are not flimsy things.
(11:08 – 11:23)
They’re not as wispy and inconsequential as the air that carries them. Words are more like a sharp blade. It’s like metal being thrust into someone’s side if they’re the wrong kind of words.
(11:23 – 11:43)
The image of this proverb is actually of multiple swords. It’s like having lots of swords in both hands and multiple stab wounds. What we’re being told here is that words, when they’re unhelpful and harmful, are incredibly painful things.
(11:43 – 11:59)
They pierce other people. I just think of this very kind of practically. Many families have a relative somewhere, auntie so-and-so, uncle so-and-so, and they’ve got a reputation for having a sharp tongue.
(12:01 – 12:20)
And it’s the reason why, you know, they’re sort of, they’re casting lots to see who needs to go and see aunt X this week because whoever goes needs to be walking in with the body armour on because many wounding things are gonna be said. What a sad situation that is. And that person’s probably feeling very lonely.
(12:20 – 12:34)
And why is no one coming to see me? And not realising the reckless swords that come out when they speak. And this is described here as recklessness. Notice that, recklessness.
(12:35 – 12:51)
This is the person who speaks impulsively, just says whatever’s on their mind without in any way filtering. Filtering, I hear people say sometimes, as I’m getting older, I’m losing my filter. Watch out for that.
(12:52 – 13:16)
The Bible calls that recklessness. It’s recklessness, be careful. I think the danger of this, though, is that we think of this as the caricature aunt or uncle, and we’ve probably all got some person or other in mind in our family or maybe someone in church or someone in work, and we think, oh, that’s the person, they’re the person that speaks hurtfully.
(13:17 – 13:39)
And yet we can overlook the fact that we at times, all of us, say things that are harmful to other people. And often it will be in moments of frustration or in moments of tiredness. And we just lack that self-control to hold the tongue back and the rash words come out.
(13:40 – 14:13)
I say this in a week, when we’ve been doing a lot of DIY around the house, a lot of painting and stuff in the evenings, and if you work during the day and you come back and you do three hours painting a ceiling, you don’t have a lot of patience over little things. And there’s been lots of unsanctified little words coming out, and I’m thinking, I’m preaching a sermon on this on Sunday night, and here I am, needing to find a different preacher. But it’s often in those moments, isn’t it? And yet it’s the real us coming out, isn’t it? It’s nobody else.
(14:13 – 14:31)
But when the pressure comes on, often that’s what emerges. Bear in mind as well that very often when we hurt people with our words, they will never come and tell us that they’ve been hurt by us. I mean, 90% of the people that say hurtful things to me, I don’t go to them and say that was hurtful.
(14:33 – 14:49)
And so we need to be aware of the fact that we need to have self-awareness. And we need to think, I wonder if what I just said to that person, or I wonder that conversation that seemed a bit tense, I wonder if I wounded that person. I wonder if I needed to apologise for what I just said.
(14:51 – 15:06)
So that’s the negative side of the equation. The positive side is that the wise person has a tongue that brings healing. And that’s a lovely thing, isn’t it? So whereas your tongue can be a sword, it can also be a tool for healing.
(15:07 – 15:28)
Just as words can harm, they can also heal. And it’s true, isn’t it, that there’s often nothing more healing than the aptly chosen words of another human being. Maybe even the apology the person gives you can be so healing, despite the fact they wounded you to begin with.
(15:29 – 15:46)
Now, just a caveat here. There is a truth to the statement that the truth often hurts. And we’re living in an age where if I feel a negative emotion because of what you’ve said, then therefore what you’ve said was wrong.
(15:47 – 16:05)
And we need to be very careful about that. Someone can be very lovingly measured in the way they speak. They can sometimes speak the truth in love, and we can still feel wounded because our pride has been wounded, or our sin is being challenged.
(16:06 – 16:22)
And the Proverbs actually calls that the wounds of a friend. There’s a good sort of wound that you can give to someone, but there’s also a bad sort of wound, and we need to know the difference. So this is not about avoiding ever hurting anyone else’s feelings for the right reason.
(16:23 – 16:50)
But if you’re the sort of person that seems to lead casualties all around you, whenever you leave the community group, or whenever you leave the coffee chat, or whenever you, you know, there’s someone going home and they’re just, you know, there’s a few scars, then this might be a proverb that you need to take more seriously, that I need to take more seriously. So this is very important. And if we’re gonna do that, then that brings us to Proverbs 15, and verse one.
(16:51 – 17:01)
Proverbs 15, verse one. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Here’s the third principle.
(17:02 – 17:10)
Wise people control the tone of how they speak. They control the tone. We’ve got another contrast.
(17:11 – 17:20)
All three of these have been contrasts. On the one hand, you have a gentle answer. That could be translated a soft answer.
(17:21 – 17:48)
And it is contrasted with a harsh word, or literally it’s the idea of a painful word, a word that causes negative emotional impact because it was unloving. And we’re told that when we choose the soft word, the gentle word, this will de-escalate tension and it will reduce anger. And there’s many examples of this in the Bible.
(17:49 – 18:03)
We don’t have time to look into this, but you could look this up later for a bit of kind of reflection on this. But in 1 Samuel 25, there’s a really brilliant story that’s all about this. You have David.
(18:04 – 18:15)
He’s this really fearsome warrior that you shouldn’t mess with. But there’s this guy called Nabal, and Nabal decides it is a good idea to say all sorts of nasty things about David. And it gets back to David.
(18:16 – 18:24)
And David’s gonna set about this guy. He’s in big trouble. But thankfully for Nabal, he has a wife that’s wiser than him.
(18:25 – 18:38)
And her name’s Abigail. And Abigail, she intervenes on her husband’s behalf and she speaks wisely to David. And she gives him a soft answer, a gentle answer.
(18:38 – 18:54)
And she calms down David’s wrath. And at least temporarily, Nabal doesn’t get his comeuppance athough later for a different reason he does. But it’s a wonderful illustration, isn’t it? And we all have our own versions of that probably.
(18:56 – 19:07)
Situations, I mean, both ways. Situations where maybe there was rising tension. And unfortunately, we said the thing that seemed to put the sparks in the fire.
(19:08 – 19:29)
And it became a full-blown explosion. But we also can think of other situations where with the help of the Holy Spirit, we somehow managed to take a breath and respond in a way that was true but was also gentle and loving. And what could have been a crisis calmed itself down.
(19:31 – 19:38)
And so what we’re reminding of is really something very simple. It’s not just what you say. It is about how you say it.
(19:40 – 19:48)
This is very important. Because sometimes people will say, I’ve done this as well very defensively. What was wrong with what I said? You know, and you repeat back the words.
(19:49 – 19:56)
Usually you repeat them back in a really nice tone. I said it like this. But actually that wasn’t the way you said it originally.
(19:57 – 20:07)
Two people can say even the exact same sentence of words. And one do it with love. The other do it with sarcasm, biting sarcasm.
(20:07 – 20:28)
Same words, different tone. This is often something that other people can pick up more easily than we can. I think we often have a responsibility to each other to occasionally say, it’s not so much what you said, but it’s the way you said it.
(20:30 – 20:49)
It’s just an observation from being in ministry over the years and seeing quite a few issues in churches as happens. And in my own relationships with people too. It’s amazing how few times the problems are actually about differences of opinion.
(20:50 – 20:59)
The problem is not that people have differences of opinion. I have people all the time that I have differences of opinion with and I get on really well with some people. Because it’s not about that.
(20:59 – 21:10)
The issue is always the manner in which the people with differing opinions speak to one another. That’s the issue. It’s the tone that’s the problem.
(21:11 – 21:23)
And one person said something in a very unhelpful way and the other person reacted in an equally unhelpful way. And the whole thing just builds up and up and up. And then you’re maybe called in to be the referee.
(21:23 – 21:38)
And that’s part of the role you play. And then sometimes you find yourself in this situation where actually your response even as a church leader was just a bit sharper than it should have been. And you were a bit frustrated and a bit tired and your tone wasn’t quite right.
(21:39 – 21:49)
And actually you’ve stirred up the fire yourself. I’ve been there with that too. So that’s another thing we need to be careful of here.
(21:49 – 21:55)
And actually, let me just say this. A lot of these proverbs are about avoiding the negative. Interesting that.
(21:55 – 22:05)
There’s few of the proverbs about words that are about here’s the positive, but there are some. And so let me just finish with one briefly. Proverbs 25 verse 11.
(22:06 – 22:21)
Proverbs 25 verse 11. Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken at the right time. Now the imagery here is a little bit uncertain.
(22:21 – 22:40)
And actually, let me just say as a side comment. One of the slightly tricky bits interpreting some proverbs is they’re so brief and they’re so underexplained that you sometimes do have ambiguous images or even just the proverb itself. You sit and think, what does that mean? So there are a few proverbs you really need to ponder quite hard.
(22:40 – 23:08)
This is one of them, at least the imagery is a little tricky. What seems to be being described here are carvings of fruit in gold, something kind of decorative that was then set within a silver backdrop. And whatever the exact thing is in mind here historically, the idea I think is clear, that this is something that just is the right thing in the right place.
(23:08 – 23:20)
It just looks right. It’s kind of like, maybe I’ve got decorating on my mind tonight. But it’s like when you decorate a wall in your house and you paint it a certain colour and then someone with an eye for things picks just the right picture.
(23:21 – 23:29)
That just blends with what’s behind it. And they put it up and you think, wow, that’s the right picture for that wall. It just fits right.
(23:30 – 23:43)
That’s the point of this proverb here. The point is that words, when they’re spoken at the right time, they just fit perfectly. They are apt for the situation.
(23:43 – 24:12)
The principle is this. Wise people say just what is needed. And Proverbs is saying then that we can grow in wisdom in our words and we can become, as we avoid some of the negatives we’ve talked about, but as we grow in wisdom and as we grow in Christlikeness, we can actually grow into the sorts of people who will start to say the right thing at the right time in the right sort of way.
(24:13 – 24:23)
I wish that was more the case with my words. I’m sure you wish it was more the case with yours. I know that it was always the case with Jesus’ words.
(24:25 – 24:47)
Luke 4, 22 says, all spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. In Matthew 13, 54, coming to his hometown, he taught the people in their synagogue and they were astonished. Where did this man get such wisdom and miraculous powers, they asked.
(24:48 – 25:01)
And in John 7, 46, never has anyone spoken like this man. Jesus’ words were always wise. His words were restrained when necessary.
(25:02 – 25:13)
He was silent when he needed to be silent. Remember, he was silent before the cross. Jesus’ words could be strong at times, but he only ever wounded the pride of the prideful.
(25:15 – 25:24)
His words didn’t bring unnecessary wounds. They brought healing to those in spiritual need. Jesus was the epitome of the gentle answer.
(25:24 – 25:45)
His tone was always the right tone because, well, God always speaks with the right tone. And he always said the absolutely perfect, fitting thing in every single scenario, including even when he was dying on a cross. We can never match the perfect words of Jesus.
(25:46 – 26:00)
James says, if any man can control his tongue, he is the perfect man. That’s Christ. And yet, the encouragement of Proverbs is we can grow in this.
(26:01 – 26:14)
We can. We can make slow progress. I was listening, again, when I was painting, to Graham Beynon the other day on Battling Sin.
(26:15 – 26:28)
Very worth listening through. He did five lectures at Keswick the other week on Battling Sin. And he had this great little line where he said, the battle never stops, but the battle line can move.
(26:29 – 26:40)
The battle never stops, but the battle line can move. What he was saying was, you know, as an immature Christian, maybe you just blurt out all the nonsense without a filter. The battle’s still there.
(26:40 – 27:06)
He said, but 15 years on, 20 years on, you might have stopped saying the nonsense, but you’re still thinking it. And it’s true, isn’t it? The battle’s always there, but can we make that little bit of progress, little by little, to grow in our words? Let’s briefly pray. Father, thank you for addressing us tonight.
(27:06 – 27:16)
Thank you for your wisdom on our words. Thank you for the perfect man who controlled this tongue. We pray for real progress in this area.
(27:17 – 27:28)
We pray that we will say what is helpful and healing, rather than what is reckless and wounding. And we ask this for the extension of your kingdom. Amen.
The post Words and Wisdom – Proverbs appeared first on Greenview Church.