The first part of our reading is on page 636 of the Church Bibles, starting at verse 16. Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.

(0:27 – 0:48)

None who go to her return or attain the paths of life. And the second part of the reading is from chapter 5. My son, pay attention to my wisdom. Turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.

(0:49 – 1:06)

For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil. But in the end, she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lead straight to the grave.

(1:06 – 1:16)

She gives no thought to the way of life. Her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. Now then, my sons, listen to me.

(1:17 – 1:30)

Do not turn aside from what I say. Keep to a path far from her. Do not go near the door of her house, lest you lose your honour to others and your dignity to one who is cruel.

(1:31 – 1:46)

Lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. At the end of your life, you will groan when your flesh and body are spent. You will say, how I hated discipline, how my heart spurned correction.

(1:47 – 2:01)

I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors. And I was soon in serious trouble in the assembly of God’s people. Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.

(2:02 – 2:21)

Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares, let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer.

(2:21 – 2:41)

May her breast satisfy you always. May you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why my son be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.

(2:41 – 2:53)

The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them. The cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline, they will die, led astray by their own great folly.

(3:00 – 3:16)

Thank you, Fione, for reading our passage today. Good morning. Choose Life was a fashion statement and a protest statement by British designer Catherine Hamnett in 1983.

(3:18 – 3:47)

The T-shirt was then worn by George Michael in 1984, singing for Wham! And in reaction to the NHS England shock tactics of Heroin Screws You Up, NHS Scotland went for Choose Life, not drugs. Well, today, as we come to Proverbs, we are presented with a stark contrast. Will we choose life? Proverbs, as we’ve been learning, is all about choices.

(3:49 – 4:14)

Proverbs attributed to King Solomon speaking to his son, used by Jewish theologians to teach boys becoming men aged 12 and 13. Nine chapters calling the son to choose wisdom, not folly. We have seen so far how this call to wisdom, although written by a king to his son, has a much wider audience.

(4:14 – 4:22)

Knowledge and discretion to the young. Colin reminded us that that’s those under 30. For the simple, those naive to the world.

(4:23 – 4:39)

And for the wise and discerning, as we were learning in our community groups only a couple of weeks ago, that we never graduate from learning wisdom. It is a lifelong apprenticeship. So this is for all of us today.

(4:40 – 5:06)

And that’s really important to remember as we come to this text today. This text could easily come with a 12A rating, as Proverbs is all about sexual ethics on one level. And on another level, these young men are presented with a metaphorical choice between two women, Lady Wisdom and Lady Folly.

(5:07 – 5:21)

So let’s walk into the text this morning and see what these ancient words are still profoundly and relevantly speaking out to us today. We’re going to look at four different points. The seduction of sex.

(5:22 – 5:52)

Steer clear of temptation. Drink water from your own cistern. And choose life.

Follow Jesus. So firstly, the seduction of sex, verses one to six. Ray Ortland, an American reformed theologian and now retired pastor in Nashville, the author of many Bible commentaries and books, once said that we preach through the Bible so that we don’t avoid uncomfortable topics like sex.

(5:53 – 6:15)

I must admit, when I first read this text, I thought about our pastor, our pastor here at Greenview, Colin Adams. And I thought, could you not have given this to someone else? The text starts with the repeated refrain. It’s been seen in other chapters already.

(6:15 – 6:23)

My son, pay attention to my wisdom. Turn your ear to my words of insight. Son, listen to me.

(6:23 – 6:36)

The context, as we’ve already seen, is a king to his son. However, the audience is wide to all of us. So whether male or female, young or old, God’s wisdom is for us all.

(6:36 – 6:49)

So turn your ear and listen. And then we are presented with an initial contrast. Verse two, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.

(6:50 – 7:10)

Your lips may preserve knowledge. Compared to verse three, for the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil. So who is this woman, you might ask? Well, the text in Proverbs 2, read to us earlier, gives us an insight.

(7:10 – 7:27)

She’s an adulteress. She is described as a wayward woman who has left the partner of her youth and, importantly, ignored the covenant she made before God. Her lips drip honey.

(7:27 – 7:33)

Her speech is smoother than oil. This is sensual language. She is enticing.

(7:34 – 7:45)

She is tempting. Immediately, the father and teachers through the century are bringing together a picture. Listen, son, there is this woman.

(7:46 – 7:50)

She has left her husband. She is offering sex. Her lips are like honey.

(7:51 – 8:12)

Her speech is like smooth oil. She is tempting. The seduction, the act of persuading, the temptation, or enticing someone to have sex, although this passage is written by a man to his son, is not just a male problem.

(8:13 – 8:32)

We see this in the Bible. It’s Potiphar’s wife who pesters Joseph for sex, who seeks to drag Joseph into bed with her in Genesis. There are lots of alarming statistics out there just to show that this is a problem for both males and females.

(8:33 – 8:52)

So, like I say, Proverbs is for us all. Upwards of 90% of males and females engage in premarital sex, with there being almost no gender difference. As a side point, those who have had premarital sex are statistically 50% more likely to get divorced once married.

(8:53 – 9:14)

After marrying, about 25% of men and 15% of women commit adultery at some point. It’s very similar between men and women up to the age of about 50, after which men are statistically more likely to have an affair. About half of men and a third of women are looking at internet porn once a month.

(9:14 – 9:46)

In an American study, almost three-quarters of men and almost half of women view pornography sometimes. 39% of Gen Z adults view porn on a daily or weekly basis, showing that this is a greater problem with our younger generation. Plus, more than half of younger millennials and Gen Z adults aged 18 to 37 say they have sent a nude image of themselves and three-quarters say that they have received them.

(9:47 – 10:13)

I don’t give these statistics in any way to make you think that this is OK. Ray Ortlund described it like this, it is a tsunami of sexual destruction slamming us in our modern world today. A recent Institute YouGov poll reported correlating porn use with loneliness and depression.

(10:15 – 10:36)

And it’s worse than that, as we see in our Bible, because it’s about a choice between wisdom and folly. Verse 4, But in the end she is as bitter as gall, as sharp as a double-edged sword, and her feet go down to death and her steps lead straight to the grave. This is a stark warning.

(10:36 – 11:22)

In the Second World War, the US Office of War Information came out with the slogan Loose Lips Sink Ships, aimed at military personnel and the wider public to beware of spies, to be careful with what you say and to who, because loose lips saying important information to the wrong person could literally end hundreds of lives. Verses 2 and 3 create this contrast between the son’s lips that are to preserve and are to guard knowledge, wisdom, and a forbidden woman’s lips that drip honey, folly. For although tempting, those lips are like poison, gall.

(11:22 – 11:49)

They are like a double-edged sword, a weapon that brings death, and those lips are connected straight to feet that go down to death and lead straight to the grave. Verse 6, She gives no thought to the way of life, her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it. Life is full of little choices around the seduction of sex.

(11:50 – 12:28)

Do we engage this person of the opposite sex in conversation? Do we flirt? Are we seeking attention or desiring companionship? What do you watch on TV? What do you do when you’re alone when no one else is watching? Do you click that link? Do you view that profile? We live day by day just one or two clicks away from pornography. The choices we make in the area of sex need to be well thought about in the cold light of day. Don’t wander aimlessly, giving no thought to your choices.

(12:29 – 12:39)

This leads us nicely to our second part of our text, verses 17 to 14. Steer clear of temptation. Verse 7, Now then, my sons, listen to me.

(12:39 – 12:47)

Do not turn aside to what I say. Again, the plea is to listen to the teacher, to the father. This is important.

(12:49 – 13:00)

Verse 8, Keep to a path far from her. Do not go near the door of her house. Do not go near to her house.

(13:00 – 13:15)

Steer clear of temptation. The best way not to sin in the area of sexual temptation is not to put yourself in the firing line. A play called Hamilton, about one of America’s forefathers, Alexander Hamilton.

(13:15 – 13:34)

A woman comes to his door seeking financial aid. Does he succumb to temptation at that point? No. But after walking her home and engaging her in conversation, and now on her doorstep, he is in a weaker position to resist temptation and goes in and starts that affair.

(13:34 – 14:05)

Later, the woman’s husband finds out and blackmails Hamilton, and it goes public, and he confesses it all in order to avoid further scandal as of financial impropriety, which would have ruined his political career as then the Secretary to the Treasury. How accurate the words of Proverbs 5, warning against adultery, are. Verses 9 and 10, Lest you lose your honour to others and your dignity to one who is cruel.

(14:06 – 14:20)

Lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another. Alexander Hamilton was bribed. He was enriching the house of another.

(14:21 – 14:31)

As a result of his affair. If you have that affair, you will find yourself in a much worse position. You will lose honour and credibility.

(14:32 – 14:43)

People will be talking about you. Your reputation will be destroyed. Your Christian witness, well, that will be no more, as you will have rejected God in your actions.

(14:44 – 15:08)

You might very well know someone who has had an affair. Affairs ruin marriages, tearing apart that union of two becoming one, ripping it apart and destroying it, to the result of a broken home, two parents playing pass the children at the school gates, living in separate homes. The parental-child relationship changes.

(15:08 – 15:33)

The parent is no longer in a position to impart wisdom. In their anger, children will cast up that one selfish act and how it destroyed their lives and destroyed the marriage. Ray Auckland’s wife speaks about her experience of helping a number of women who have committed adultery and not one of them reflected on their life being better as a result of this.

(15:34 – 15:50)

For those who have had an affair, verses 11 to 13 are so, so true. At the end of your life, you will groan. When your flesh and body are spent, you will say how I hated discipline, how I spurned correction.

(15:51 – 16:10)

I would not obey my teacher or turn my ear to my instructors. Following the way of folly brings regret and sorrow. Throwing away life and reputation for the sake of a moment of pleasure because you have listened to a lie.

(16:11 – 17:05)

The person who has had the affair, when reflecting on their life, would be saying, if only I had accepted discipline, if only I had steered clear of temptation, if only I had taken correction, if only I had listened to those wise friends, mentors, teachers around me, looking to speak to me. I’m thankful for different times in my own life, for one-to-ones with other men who have challenged me with tough questions and I have challenged them with tough questions. Have you sinned lustfully this month? Have you watched something on TV that you shouldn’t have this month? Have you sinned in the area of pornography this month? Some 18% of pastors, according to one American survey, are currently struggling in the area of pornography.

(17:05 – 17:27)

Some 67% of pastors report historical issues with pornography at some point in their lives. Having spoken to people who are living with the consequences of sin, of adultery in their lives, it impacts on everything. Personally devastating, destroys and ruins relationships.

(17:27 – 17:44)

It hits you financially too and it impacts on you and your church as well. Verse 14, And I was soon in serious trouble with the assembly of God’s people. The reality is that sin has consequences.

(17:45 – 18:05)

How many pastors have lost their marriage, their job, their church, all quite rightly, having been caught having an affair with another woman. So steer clear of temptation. To those not married, but thinking about it, or desiring marriage.

(18:05 – 18:23)

Young people, I remember as a youth leader, sharing the story of a rich man who is hiring a chauffeur. Some people might remember me saying this. But he asked three drivers how good they were on a mountain road that led to his house.

(18:24 – 18:49)

The first said, I am so good, I can average 50 miles an hour on this twisty mountain road and take the car within a foot of the edge. The second said, I’m even better, I can average 60 miles an hour round those hairpins and take you within inches of the edge. But the third said, with you in the car, I will crawl up the hill and I will hug the mountain, keeping as far from the edge as possible as you are too precious.

(18:51 – 19:08)

I shared this as a youth leader in terms of how far is too far to go in your relationship. Don’t be driver one or two as they are far more likely to crash or even die. Be like driver three.

(19:08 – 19:20)

Steer clear of temptation. Put up many boundaries in your relationship to help keep yourself pure and to help honour your boyfriend or girlfriend. Steer clear of temptation.

(19:21 – 19:37)

Keep away from her door. And what does that look like for you? Ladies, stop flirting with that man at work who is paying you attention. Men, don’t offer to take that female work colleague out for a drink.

(19:38 – 19:45)

Be above reproach. Maybe the issue is porn. Put blockers on your TV or your phone.

(19:45 – 20:02)

Have transparency about what you’re watching through shared internet browsing or streaming services. I actually think that streaming services are incredibly helpful. I shared this the other day when I was chatting with somebody from the church.

(20:04 – 20:32)

As my streaming history is there for my wife and my children to see, whereas in the old days, channels one to four or channels one to five, nobody got to see what you’d been watching earlier. So, be transparent about what you’re watching. Have a shared iPad, a home laptop that everybody can look at.

(20:32 – 21:05)

Do everything you can to steer clear of temptation. In a relationship already? Can you help one another by creating clear boundaries in your relationship, by limiting time alone where temptation increases honour one another pre-marriage by not having sex before marriage. There are so many applications of steering clear of temptation because as we have already seen in verse five, her feet go down to death, her steps lead straight to the grave.

(21:06 – 21:33)

Our first two points this morning both come from a place where we and society around us place too much emphasis on sex and the pleasure arising from it as we’ve looked at both seduction and temptation. But in a strange dichotomy, we also undervalue sex. Point three, drink water from your own cistern.

(21:34 – 21:54)

Under this title, we’re going to see that here, in our Bibles, there is a celebration of sex in the right context. One man and one woman in a married relationship. Heterosexual, monogamous marriages are God’s design.

(21:55 – 22:12)

We see this right from the start when God takes the first wedding ceremony and he brings Adam and Eve together. Sex in marriage is not only for the purpose of having children, but sex in marriage is to be enjoyed. These verses tell us this explicitly.

(22:13 – 22:42)

As I’ve read these verses, I didn’t want to say the wrong thing or go off piece, so I’ve listened to others preaching on this topic, including Tim Keller, who is very helpful. Off the back of the warnings about the seduction of the adulteress and steering clear of temptation, we have an exhortation to be intimate only with your spouse. There is lots of water language used for sexuality in verses 15 to 19 to make this point.

(22:43 – 23:01)

Verse 15, You can drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. In Hebrew literature, the cistern of the well were used to describe female sexuality. A cistern would have been collecting rainwater and a well would have been supplied from an underground source.

(23:02 – 23:25)

So there is an image of going down into and drawing from the cistern, from the well, your own cistern, your own well. Men who are married should only have sexual intimacy with their wife. Then in verses 16 to 18, Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares, let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

(23:26 – 23:43)

May your fountain be blessed and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Springs and fountains in Hebrew literature are referencing male sexuality. If you are a man and not yet married or a married man, your sexuality is not to be overflowing into the streets or the public squares.

(23:43 – 23:58)

Your sexuality is to be shared with your wife alone and not with strangers. It gets even stronger in the celebration of sex within the confines of marriage. No matter your age, rejoice in the wife of your youth.

(23:58 – 24:15)

Rejoice that she is still with you, that you are able to have a healthy and stable sex life together. Verse 19, A loving doe, a graceful deer, may her breasts satisfy you always. May you ever be intoxicated with her love.

(24:17 – 24:38)

A loving doe, a graceful deer, is poetic language highlighting real beauty. In the confines of a monogamous married relationship, we are to enjoy one another’s bodies. May her breasts satisfy you always so that you are intoxicated, literally drunk in love with one another.

(24:39 – 24:55)

Perhaps not what you were expecting to hear when you came to church today, but this is here in Proverbs and there’s no getting away from it. So we are to be careful with overvaluing sex. Don’t go with that married woman or married man.

(24:55 – 25:03)

Don’t look lustfully at porn. Don’t have sex with the prostitute. Steer clear of situations or people or places that are going to cause you temptation.

(25:04 – 25:13)

But if married, enjoy, even celebrate, the gift of sex within that marriage. Ray Auckland summed it up well. Sex is like fire.

(25:14 – 25:32)

Inside the fireplace it keeps us warm. Outside the fireplace it burns the house down. If currently single, and this is difficult to hear as it all seems to be a long way off, well it’s well worth the wait and designed to be enjoyed only within that married relationship.

(25:33 – 25:53)

Think about the stats earlier. Those who have premarital sex are 50% more likely to be divorced or to get divorce. If you’re a single and feel that marriage is passing you by or even your spouse is no longer with us, if you’re experiencing difficulties in this area, please speak to someone in church pastorally.

(25:54 – 26:17)

And pray to God about your current situation and how it makes you feel. If in a relationship, set up boundaries, honour one another, keep one another pure, be like the driver that hugged the mountain keeping far from the edge and drove at a speed so as not to lose control. And if married, choose to be faithful.

(26:18 – 26:26)

Steer clear of temptation. Enjoy one another. Enjoy the husband or the wife of your youth.

(26:27 – 26:32)

And finally, choose life. Follow Jesus. Verses 20 to 23.

(26:33 – 26:51)

Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the Lord and He examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them. The cords of their sin halt them fast.

(26:52 – 27:00)

For the lack of discipline they will die. For the lack of discipline they will die. Led astray by their own great folly.

(27:01 – 27:16)

Throughout Proverbs, we have a choice between lady wisdom and lady folly. This is the metaphorical part that we were talking about at the beginning. Life is full of choices.

(27:16 – 27:40)

According to AI, yep, I checked on AI, we make 35,000 decisions a day. 50 to 200 of these will be conscious decisions requiring active thought and emotional energy. Zero to five decisions a day will be high impact choices about work, life, financial relationships.

(27:41 – 28:04)

These verses remind us that God is watching. Your ways, the decisions that you make, even when you are alone, are in full view of the Lord. The Lord examines your paths, refers to the fact that ultimately we will face judgement for what we have done in our lives.

(28:05 – 28:22)

That judgement comes down to the choices that we make throughout life. In terms of temptation and sexuality, we’ve explored the ways of how to steer clear of temptation. But it isn’t just the area of sexuality as we’ve been focussing on today, but in all areas of life.

(28:22 – 28:44)

Decisions that lead to the love of money and possessions. Decisions that lead to addictions and drugs and smoking and alcohol and gambling and shopping and even food. The application about steering clear of temptation applies to all these areas of life too, but we just don’t have time to unpack them all.

(28:45 – 29:23)

Behind every choice there is a decision of who are you choosing to desire. Lady wisdom or lady folly. Are you seeking to follow God or are you being tempted away from God by the devil himself? Where have we seen this decision between wisdom and folly before? Where else have we seen the seductive appeal of the forbidden path? I pause because I want you to be thinking about your Bibles.

(29:24 – 29:58)

Where have we seen this before? Yes, right back in Genesis chapter 3 verse 4. The devil says, You will not certainly die, the snake said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food, pleasing to the eye and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some of it and ate it.

(29:59 – 30:22)

And the woman took the fruit that God had commanded her not to eat as she was desiring to be like God. Eve chose the path of folly which leads to death. Then standing naked, the most beautiful woman in the world presented the fruit to Adam and he too ate it, disobeying God.

(30:23 – 30:44)

Adam literally followed Lady Folly in that choice in the garden. And as a result, death entered the world, verse 19, but by the sweat of your brow you will eat food until you return to the ground until you die. Behind the choice that Adam made was Lady Folly.

(30:45 – 31:22)

Behind the choice that Eve made was the devil himself. Do we choose folly which leads to death or do we choose wisdom? 1 Corinthians 1, verses 20 to 26. Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? Since the wisdom of God, the world through its wisdom did not know Him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.

(31:22 – 31:45)

Jews demanded a sign, Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified. A stumbling block to the Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks. Christ, the power of God, the wisdom of God.

(31:47 – 32:02)

Jesus Christ is true wisdom. Christ, the power of God, Christ, the wisdom of God. The devil tried to lure Jesus away in the desert.

(32:03 – 32:38)

He tried to tempt Jesus to show off his divine power, to satisfy his own desires, rather than trusting God, his Father. The devil tried to tempt Jesus with the basics of life, food when hungry, to take the shortcut to power, to get instant fame and popularity, but each time Jesus chose wisdom, using the Bible, the words of truth, to respond to the devil and steer clear of temptation. Behind every choice is wisdom or folly.

(32:39 – 33:07)

Young Jewish boys were presented this as a metaphor, do we choose Lady Wisdom or Lady Folly? And our choice today is the same. Do you choose to reject God as the supreme authority over your life, over the decisions that you make? None of us are neutral. If you choose to reject God, you’re choosing the way of the devil.

(33:08 – 33:31)

You’re choosing to follow a path that leads to death. Or do you choose life? Do you choose to follow Jesus, choose to seek Jesus who is true wisdom? This is the choice that each of us face today. Will you choose life?

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