Your heavy-set female flatmate begins bashing you, slamming you into doors, scratching your back 'til it bleeds, and then fabricates a story about the incident once you have turned to your landlord about it.. um, what do you do? Why, write a song about it, and name it 'Share House'

My parents taught me that "you never hit a lady", which I abide by. Someone said to me at a later date, though, that if some chick is smacking your bloody lights out, she sure as HELL..

Ain't. No. Lady.

Huh? I shoulda hit her back?? No. Sorry.