CJ McClanahan: Recent Episodes
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If you’re looking for a life-altering mind-shift, you’ll need to do things differently than you’ve tried before.<>
Jotting a note in your gratitude journal or praying at mealtime are great places to start, but these periodic actions alone won’t change your perspective.
As you probably already know, sporadic actions lead to sporadic results.
To become a grateful person, you need to practice all the time.
Initially, this requires shifting your focus from achieving to just being.
Once you slow down long enough to sit quietly, you’ll find the opportunity to count your blessings.
This regular practice gently shifts the way you view the world.
As Melody Beattie points out, this shift “turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
Do you own your failures, shortcomings, and mistakes? Or do you look for an opportunity to blame someone else?<>
I remember the day vividly.
My boss (who has since become an important mentor) asked why I had dropped the ball on an important issue.
I made an excuse insisting that it wasn’t my fault. He followed up with, “Are you sure that’s your best response?” and regrettably, I doubled down and said “yes”.
In retrospect, it’s clear that I was being tested… Was I the kind of person who took responsibility for my actions or blamed others when I stumbled?
Luckily, my boss took the opportunity to point out that he didn’t accept excuses from his employees.
It was a life-changing lesson for me.
However, all these (many) years later, when something goes wrong, my initial gut reflex is still to look for an excuse. I hate the idea of being wrong.
No one likes admitting their mistakes.
But a commitment to constant improvement begins with owning your failings.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
Overachievers constantly strive for a sense of fulfillment, meaning, and mattering. 99.89% of our effort is pointless. Here’s what actually gets us what we want.<>
I’ve coached hundreds of overachievers for more than 2 decades. And every year, I see this process repeated:
The start of a new year tends to showcase how fully we cram our lives with activity that doesn’t really deliver the satisfaction we crave.
Care to know what does?
Healthy relationships with the most important people in your life.
You might remember the day you landed the “big account,” bought your first luxury car or got a promotion. However, none of these events stir up the same emotions as when you think about your wedding day, the birth of your first child, or the loss of a close relative.
The undeniable truth is that the contentment you want doesn’t come through accumulating stuff, earning recognition, or promotions.
It comes through intentional reprioritization around what really matters: the people who make life worth living.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
As overachievers, we can unknowingly chase approval. Are you aware of who’s steering your life?<>
Recently, I wondered how much different life would be if I cared less about impressing others.
Would I work as hard? Spend more time helping those who are less fortunate? Stress less about the little things?
This exercise challenges me to wonder – Am I living out my unique story or spending too much time watching others?
Each time I consider this question I typically land on the same answer… “I’m not sure.”
Although at times this uncertainty is frustrating, I recognize that it’s part of being human.
Life is an uncertain journey to be explored, not a puzzle with pieces fitting perfectly into position.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
Too many of us have developed an “overwhelmed” mindset.<>
We’ve convinced ourselves that no matter how much is on our plate, we’re barely keeping our heads above water.
When asked how life is treating us, we typically respond with “swamped, busy, exhausted, etc.”
The truth is that no matter how many hours we work, there’s more to do that time to get it done.
It’s time we embrace this reality and stop complaining about life being so difficult.
Next time someone asks how your week is going, consider focusing on the positive.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
Instead of going for the “fix”, sit in stillness. The result might surprise you.<>
You walk into Starbucks and there are 3 people in front of you (likely a 3–5-minute wait). What do you do?
I’ve asked this question many times over the years and the answer is always the same – “Pull out my phone.”
We’re so dependent on constant stimulation that we can’t imagine going a few minutes without scrolling through our email, text, or social feeds.
This addiction to endless updates has convinced our brains that every moment needs to be filled with something.
Our inability to sit quietly with our thoughts keeps us from enjoying the present moment, eventually leading to stress, worry, and frustration.
This week, do something a little crazy.
Look for opportunities to embrace silence.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
To find joy, Overachievers tend to focus their efforts on tasks and recognition. The problem is the approach just doesn’t stick.<>
As long as you have the means to provide for your basic necessities, you can be as content as anyone on the planet.
The key to your satisfaction and happiness past that point is directly related to the quality of the relationships with the people you love.
We all could use a little help in that area, so here’s a quick exercise to get you started:
- Select at least three extremely important relationships that today don’t get as much attention as you would like.
- Brainstorm and list two different strategies for strengthening each of these bonds and expressing gratitude.
As you do this, remember that there are only so many hours in the day.
In other words, don’t overdo it.
The action isn’t nearly as important as the heart with which it is done.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Joy that Stays appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Do you ever find yourself wishing that life could be… different?<>
Every day, I write a handful of words at the bottom of my journal underneath the title, Intention.
This simple practice is designed to guide my behavior for the day and help make tiny tweaks in my overall mindset.
(It works about 50% of the time.)
Flipping through this year’s journal, one word keeps popping up over and over again – Accept.
I know why.
No matter the circumstances, too often I find myself wishing that life was… different.
Some days, my search for contentment and joy seems just beyond my grasp.
If I could only make a little more money, get a few more speaking engagements, find more free time in my schedule, feel more energy, etc.
The current situation never seems to be enough.
Deep down, I recognize the flaw in always wanting life to be different. Logically, I understand that chasing better leads to constant frustration.
But emotionally, I sometimes struggle to accept what is here and now.
Maybe I should learn to accept that this is part of being human?
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Setting Intention: 2025 appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Ready to set your 2025 goals? Here are the three questions you need to get started.<>
Every year around this time, the typical overachiever confronts 2 important questions:
- What did I achieve this past year?
- What do I want to achieve in the next 12 months?
Unfortunately, our inner perfectionist plays an outsized role in our response, and we end up critically reviewing the past and trying to make up for it by setting outrageous goals for the future.
The process leaves us deflated and rarely generates the type of momentum we need.
I’d like to suggest a different set of questions.
- What are the top 2 lessons I realized in 2024 and how will this make me better in the future? This turns a “failure” into an opportunity for improvement.
- What are my top 2 achievements and why am I proud of each one? This forces you to celebrate the good work that you’ve forgotten about chasing the next big thing.
- What is the most important personal and professional goal I’d like to achieve in 2025? Narrowing it down to one challenges the overachiever in you to walk away from winning a goal-setting competition.
Above all, remember this as you strive to achieve your goal:
The person you become in the process is far more important than achieving the goal itself.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Tis the season… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The Overachiever’s constant need to say yes is merely an underlying insecurity. Here’s a better way to define your value.<>
As a recovering overachiever, I’ve spent the majority of my adult life saying “yes” to everything.
At some level, there’s been a correlation between my self-esteem and agreeing to take on another responsibility (aka, make someone else happy/appreciate me).
This unhealthy mindset often results in an overcrowded schedule and lots of regrets (ask me about serving as the president of a volunteer board that wasn’t a good fit for me for 6+ years).
Luckily, as I’ve gotten older, it’s become easier to say “no”.
This ability to prioritize has created margin in my life and, more importantly, allowed me to focus on what matters most.
Before agreeing to another commitment, remember that there are only so many hours in the day. Every “yes” requires you to say “no” to something else.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post No is not a dirty word appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There’s a big difference between “feeling” grateful and “practicing” gratitude.<>
It’s one thing to recognize that I’m grateful for having a roof over my head. It’s something different to visit a homeless shelter to volunteer.
One makes you feel better for a moment and the other has the power to change your life.
On this day of Thanksgiving, I’d like to offer us all the challenge of actively practicing gratitude.
If you’re not sure where to start, here’s a simple exercise.
Pick a person who’s made a meaningful difference in your life and send them a handwritten note.
I wish you a very blessed Thanksgiving and holiday season!
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Here’s Your Thanksgiving Challenge appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Redefine success by recognizing your value and trusting the journey.<>
“No matter what gets done or doesn’t get done, I am enough”—Brene BrownYesterday, I stumbled across this quote from Brene Brown. I’ve read it dozens of times over the years and always appreciated its simple truth.
However, as I recently reflected on its message, I had a different thought – “Do I believe it?”
Do I truly believe that I’m a unique and valuable individual regardless of the sum of my achievements?
Honestly…. Some days yes and others no.
Can you relate?
Overachievers have this fear that unless we’re actively delivering value, we’re unworthy.
This fear causes us to fill our calendars and “to-do” lists ensuring that we’re impressing our peers, family, and friends.
It can be exhausting.
Maybe the key to a healthier life is slowing down and accepting that what makes us special has nothing to do with how busy we feel every day.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Embrace Your Unique Contribution appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
After an election, it’s natural for emotions to be high.<>
It’s been a little more than a week since the election and it’s likely that you’ve got a strong opinion on the outcome.
Most people take these strong emotions to their echo chamber (social media, friends, TV, etc.) looking for a friendly face to celebrate or commiserate.
The boost of dopamine we get from these connections makes us feel better… for about 20 minutes.
Once the “high” wears off, we go searching for the next article/post that reinforces our beliefs.
This addiction has a downside — instead of treating others with any sort of respect, we lump people into categories to be mocked.
Over time, this contempt turns disagreement over an issue into rage at wondering how someone could possibly hold such an opinion.
This week, instead of adding fuel to the fire, step away from your echo chamber.
Remember that every one of us is a unique mixture of experiences and culture, looking to do our very best with the resources at our disposal.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Step Away from the Echo Chamber appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Struggling with your achievement addiction? Perhaps it’s time to change your goal.<>
Most overachieving professionals (yes, I’m talking about you) use this equation to guide just about every decision they make:
Tons of Effort = Lots of Achievement = Happiness/Satisfaction
One of the problems with this (and there are many) is that feeling happy and feeling satisfied are two very different things.
“You’re satisfied if you achieve. You’re happy if you pursue a goal worth aiming for. Progress over attainment – the pinnacle isn’t the goal.” — Jordan B. Peterson
That is, in essence, hopeful news. If you “pursue a goal worth aiming for” (in Peterson’s definition, that goal is the highest possible good), then the joy is in the journey.
Arrival never even makes it into the equation.
Turn your attention to the highest possible good you can pursue at this moment.
Let everything else go.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post A Goal Worth Aiming For appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Had any episodes of Imposter Syndrome lately? You’re not alone.<>
Over the last 21 years, I’ve had many conversations with talented professionals who wonder if the world will ever find out that they’re faking it.
They worry about the day that their team, peers, clients, friends, and family will finally recognize all their flaws.
Worse, they assume that once the façade fades away, no one will respect or appreciate the “imperfect” person they’ve always been.
Does this sound like anyone you know?
We’ve all suffered the imposter syndrome at some point in our lives, wondering if we’ve earned any of our success or simply enjoyed a bunch of lucky breaks.
When this happens to you remember that you’re never as damaged as you think, nor is anyone else as amazing as they appear on Instagram.
Just be yourself and embrace your unique spot in this journey.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post “What if they find out?” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Overachievers resist the thought that they are average at anything. Don’t resist. There’s freedom in letting go.<>
- Vacation planning (I recently purchased plane tickets for the wrong month)
- Yardwork (killing bushes has become my specialty)
- Holiday present shopping (gift receipts are a must)
- Networking (I’m typically the first to leave an event)
- Clothes shopping (I’ve got a lot of plaid)
- Driving (I backed into a Mazda Miata a few weeks ago)
- Creativity (the next unique idea might be my first)
I sat down today to brainstorm a list of items where I ranked myself as “mediocre” at best. I got to 7 pretty fast and decided to quit.
In today’s world, we feel the need to be amazing at everything. No one wants to admit that they’re not very good at playing golf, public speaking, etc.
The unnecessary anxiety caused by this pursuit of perfection keeps us from enjoying those areas where we excel.
Embracing our mediocrity creates the space necessary to find and master our true talents.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Mediocrity Manifest appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Find yourself falling behind? Here’s why you’re right where you need to be.<>
Over the years, I’ve watched hundreds of talented professionals put in countless hours hoping to one day be “caught up”.
They start early in the morning racing through the day assuming that with enough effort they can get the “to-do” list completed.
Unfortunately, it never works.
No matter how many hours they work, there’s always more emails, tasks, and returned phone calls that will have to wait until tomorrow.
It’s tempting to assume that there’s a magical time management system that will help ensure everything gets done by 5 pm.
There isn’t – nor will there ever be.
The simple truth is that we’ve all got more to do than time to get it completed. This isn’t going to change.
The bell can’t be unrung nor the genie be jammed back in the bottle.
Instead of chasing the elusive goal of getting “caught up”, I’d challenge you to embrace the ideal that you’ll always be a little behind.
This realization provides you with the space to ask this question – What matters most?
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Can’t Catch Up? That’s Okay. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
An overachiever’s greatest struggle could lie in accepting one of life’s strongest truths.<>
“This should be easier.”
These 4 words imply that whatever issue we’re bumping up against represents something “wrong” with us and our current situation. We assume that life should be picture-perfect, devoid of challenges or hardships.
Wishing life was different, better, or easier leads in one direction – stress/anxiety.
Accepting our current situation lessens our frustration with life’s issues and reminds us that this is part of being human.
One of my favorite authors, M. Scott Peck, says it perfectly in his bestseller The Road Less Traveled:
Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
As the ancient Buddhist saying reminds us, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post This should be easier. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
How overachievers view their own flaws defines how they engage with personal and professional growth.<>
For more than 21 years, when a client tells me they’re having a problem with a team member, I ask the same question… Are they coachable/self-aware?
If the answer is “yes”, we work on developing a strategy to improve their skills. If the answer is “no”, I usually wonder aloud, “How hard will they be to replace?”
Personal and professional growth is only possible when a person is willing to admit they’re flawed in some fashion. Without this recognition, improvement is unlikely and any efforts to change are a waste of time.
The truth is that we’re all flawed (you can’t be good at everything).
Luckily, finding your imperfections is easier than ever because of the proliferation of self-assessment tools. You might try the DISC (I’m a high I/D), Enneagram (3/2), Clifton Strengths (Harmony/Relator), or many others to help you identify areas for improvement.
Once you’ve figured out what makes you unique, I’d challenge you to embrace your weaknesses.
Understanding and then accepting our flaws reminds us that we’re human and part of a bigger world filled with all kinds of crazy people.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post All Kinds of Kinds appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Making subtle shifts in the way you approach life should deliver the lasting satisfaction you crave. Unfortunately, I’ve rarely seen it work out that way.<>
The truth is, for the rest of your life, you will always be working at becoming a better friend, spouse, parent, child, and/or leader.
There is no “arriving.” You’re either getting better or worse. There’s no such thing as maintaining the status quo.
You can take this truth and view it in two ways:
- Frustrated that there’s no magical time when you “arrive” at complete satisfaction.
- Choose to figure out the best way to enjoy the journey.
Once I realized that life was a grand expedition to be experienced rather than a contest to win, I began to see everything differently. I’ve started focusing on being present in the moment, noticing what is happening around me, and allowing it to “just be.”
While being very difficult in practice and horribly uncomfortable at times, this simple practice has made all the difference.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post There Is No Destination appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The majority of my adult life has had one consistent theme – achieve.<>
Accordingly, I’ve raced through most days, crossing items off lists, sitting in meetings, flying through email, and planning for the future.
And, as you can imagine (and probably relate to), this approach has led to lots of accomplishments.
Unfortunately, the rear-view mirror is a bit of a blur.
At times I feel as though I’m flying down the interstate on a desolate road barely noticing the scenery as I race by.
The older (and hopefully more mature) I get, the more I recognize that life should be savored not simply conquered.
This appreciation has challenged me to shift part of my daily focus away from achievement and toward observation.
The overachiever in me struggles to slow down and notice what’s happening in the moment, afraid that others will fly right past as I practice my “Zen”.
However, the new me has noticed a much deeper appreciation for all the small blessings life has to offer.
I look forward to strengthening this muscle.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post From Blurry to Clear appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
When you feel overwhelmed with life’s trials, slow down, take a deep breath, and ask one question.<>
When I started my business in 2003, I was convinced my clients needed lots of information.
As a result, my advice typically included lots of multi-tabbed spreadsheets, PPT presentations, and long emails demonstrating how much I knew and how complex the solution needed to be.
It soon became clear that was the wrong approach.
While they might have been initially impressed with the reams of data, it rarely led to what they really wanted – improved results.
The same is true for just about every challenge in life.
We chase the complex solution assuming that nothing simple could be the best answer.
Yet, time and time again, we’re reminded of the brilliance of Occam’s Razor – “If you have 2 competing ideas, you should prefer the simpler one.”
When you feel overwhelmed with life’s trials, slow down, take a deep breath, and ask – What’s the next best step I can make in this moment to move in the right direction?
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post The Simpler Solution appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Stop chasing happiness. Start practicing presence.<>
Making the shift from chasing happiness toward embracing presence doesn’t mean we stop setting goals or striving for success.
Rather, it means we do so with a different mindset — one that prioritizes the experience over the outcome.
It’s about finding joy in the process, in the act of living, rather than pinning our hopes on a future state of happiness.
So, how do we make this shift?
Start by turning your mind toward mindfulness every day. Here are a few ways:
- Breathe deeply. Just three full breaths between meetings will be a game-changer.
- Observe your surroundings, and tune into your thoughts and feelings. Name them. Then let them go.
- Practice gratitude for the present moment.
- Gently remind yourself that life is happening now, not later.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post 4 Ways to Practice Presence appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Happiness was never meant to be the goal.<>
Over the years, I’ve asked many people – prospects, clients, audiences, family members, anyone who would listen – THE important question:
What do you want from life?
The varied answers all come back to the same theme – happiness.
Essentially, we want a “good feeling”.
For years, I’ve accepted this response and then moved on to the daunting task of helping others achieve this elusive feeling.
Lately, I’ve found myself pushing back.
I no longer believe that happiness is the ideal end goal for 2 reasons:
- The feeling doesn’t last very long. We only get it in short bursts.
- Because of #1, chasing these short bursts becomes an obsession similar to craving the “high” we get from drugs. (It really all comes down to dopamine as we learned on this podcast: The Molecule of More with Daniel Lieberman from Success 2.0.)
Now, I’m challenging my clients (and myself) toward a different answer.
I’ve been convicted that instead of chasing happiness we should all be focused on the only thing that matters – observing the present moment.This focus will deliver the ultimate goal that brings us lasting joy – equanimity.
Consider these words from Sharon Salzberg:
“Equanimity is a spacious stillness of the mind, a radiant calm that allows us to be present fully with all the different changing experiences that constitute our world and our lives.”
One of the side benefits of living in the now is that we learn to accept whatever exists.
Paradoxically, this presence of mind delivers a lot more… happiness.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post My New Definition for Success appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
It’s common for overachievers to have unrealistic expectations for themselves.<>
There’s a gap in each of our lives that determines the amount of joy we experience.
It represents the difference between what we expect out of life and how it actually turns out.
The larger the gap, the more discomfort we feel.
This discomfort is the result of unrealistic expectations.
We expect life to be easy, predictable, and purpose-driven.
When it turns out to be stressful, gloomy, and unfulfilling, we feel cheated. We sit in the gap our expectations have created and stew over how unfair life has become.
There’s a simple solution to this widening gap – practice accepting whatever life delivers just as it is without wishing it were different.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post When Expectations Meet Reality appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
An Overachiever’s natural problem-solving spark is powerful— but stressing about the future can snuff it out. Instead of worrying, here’s how to refocus that energy into something more valuable.<>
We’ve all said to ourselves:
“As soon as I get this meeting/project/difficult conversation behind me, I’ll be in a much better place.”
The problem with this approach is that it distracts us from the only thing that matters – the now.
Our preoccupation with the future is based on the idea that worrying about an impending situation will reduce the frustration we’ll feel later.
This doesn’t work.
The “borrowing” of future angst simply adds unnecessary anxiety to your already stressful life.
When you sense your mind drifting towards a future worry, gently catch yourself and try this phrase – “Just be here.”
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Worry Solves Nothing appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Your plan may be perfect. But life is not.<>
For 20+ years, I’ve been a planning machine.
I’ve had goals, objectives, Gantt charts, and every other tool you can imagine.
It’s led to a lot of achievement but not to what I was really chasing… certainty.
As I’ve matured, I realize that while all of this planning has its place, no matter how many spreadsheets you create, life is unpredictable.
It’s one thing to intellectually understand that certainty is a myth.
Living your life recognizing that you’re not in complete control is another.
My brain knows that no matter how hard I try, I can’t make everything go my way.
Unfortunately, I can’t convince my gut/emotions that I’m not running the show.
The more we embrace our unique journey, including its many ups and downs, the more joy we’ll have in life.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post The Truth About Certainty appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
When it comes to success, do you focus on fundamentals or get distracted by shiny, new tactics?<>
Many years ago, a client asked if I could recommend a good book on leadership.
I told him I had read many excellent books over the years. However, instead of giving a recommendation, I asked him this question:
“Do you think it’s a good idea to introduce a bunch of new concepts before you master the few we’ve been working on this past year?”
With unlimited resources for new information, it’s tempting to think that there’s got to be some new piece of information that will quickly transform our performance (personally or professionally).
It rarely works this way.
Meaningful change takes place when we discipline ourselves to master the fundamentals.
Before signing up for that life-changing podcast, check your daily habits to see if the answer isn’t already at your fingertips.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post First Things First appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
When success equals “achievement,” it’s nearly impossible for your brain to focus on the current moment for very long.<>
How come?
It’s too busy thinking about what you’ve got to do next or regretting past mistakes you might have made.
Make it your goal to live in the moment without judgment.
It goes against everything you’ve been taught since childhood and seems to defy the fundamentals of what it takes to be successful.
However, I give you my word, this simple practice will help you feel more satisfaction in your life both personally and professionally.
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—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
P.S. For tangible exercises to begin living in the moment, read Three Mindfulness Tactics for Work-Life Stress from The [recovering] Overachiever!
CJ McClanahan
The post No judgment here… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The only way to calm the raging flames of political fury is to take away the oxygen that fuels the fire – our unsolicited opinions.<>
My first job out of college (after I dropped out of law school) was in politics.
After a brief stint, it was clear that politics and I weren’t a good fit. However, I’ve remained involved on the periphery for the last 30 years, stayed up on the issues, and read long-form (1,000 – 7,500 words) articles on political topics. (I understand that I’m a giant nerd.)
I spend countless hours thinking about our divided nation and wondering how I can improve things (yes, I have a slightly narcissistic/outsized belief in my influence – I’m working on it).
Daily, I’m tempted to dive into the debate (social media, dinner conversations, at work, etc.) and rattle off some brilliance I just took from a thought leader.
But I don’t… the last thing the world needs is another opinion.
With all the screaming and yelling from all sides, it feels like we’re in the middle of an uncontrolled fire.
It needs to be extinguished (or at least tamed).
We tell ourselves that things will get better if we could just do a better job of “informing” others. I think we can all agree that this approach has failed.The only way to calm the raging flames is to take away the oxygen that fuels the fire – our unsolicited opinions.
Practically, here’s what that looks like.
- Stop reacting to anything political on social media.
- If you witness someone bashing the other side on any platform – unfollow the individual.
- If you’re watching or listening to a “pundit” drone on about the morons on the other side, turn off the TV/radio/podcast.
- If you’ve got a crazy neighbor who wants to argue all the time – find new friends.
Deep down, I believe most people are decent and want what’s best for our country. Unfortunately, it’s hard to see the good when we’re consumed in the fire.
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post It’s wildfire season appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I have a theory when it comes to the core belief of every overachiever on the planet…<>
I have a theory that goes like this…
The more we believe the phrase, “I am enough,” to be true, the more joy we experience.
This inner satisfaction/confidence leads to a grateful perspective that views each day as a journey to be enjoyed rather than a competition to be won.
Unfortunately, the overachiever struggles to embrace the idea that “I don’t need to do/achieve more” because we’ve built our entire identity on outworking/achieving everybody else.
Intellectually, we’ve learned that every new accomplishment rarely leads to lasting joy, yet we struggle to jump off the achievement treadmill.
What if today, we all took a break from running the race, took a deep breath and gratefully enjoyed who we’ve become?
We can always jump back on the treadmill tomorrow…
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Get off the treadmill. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Overachievers believe joy, peace, and contentment will come “as soon as…”<>
Many people live their lives following the “As Soon As” Principle.
They believe that “I’ll spend more time with my family as soon as I have more time.”
Or maybe “I’ll donate more of my resources to those in need as soon as I have X saved in my 401k.”
And most of these people are certain that, “I’ll be able to slow down and enjoy life as soon as I make partner, sell my business, retire, etc.”
In a world obsessed with the next big thing, it’s easy to assume that a better future is on the other side of another accomplishment.
When you’re tempted to believe this lie remember these words from the American poet James Oppenheim,
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Success “As Soon As” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Two tactics to find some balance in a hyper-achieving world.<>
The Overachiever’s Trap begins early in life.
A little success feels good. We get recognized, and maybe win an award or two.
Soon after that, though, the feeling goes away, and we teach ourselves to believe that the only way to get that feeling again is to work harder, win more recognition, and get more money.
It worked last time, right?
Unfortunately, the concept is fraught with diminishing returns. Whatever you won last time won’t be enough this time.
One of the ways to break this pattern is to rethink how you approach work.
This is easier said than done.
If you’re trying to find some balance amidst all the rush (and, trust me, the world isn’t going to slow down for you), give these tactics a try:
- Get clear about what’s important. What are the top 3 things that need to be done today?
- Time-box your day. Set time limits to the amount of hours you’ll work.
- Take breaks. Trust me, you’ll be much more effective when you do this frequently. Even five minutes away from your computer between meetings will transform how you show up.
Over time, you will relearn how to move about your day and feel better about your life.
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
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As achievers, it’s natural to assume in an argument that we’re always right.<>
I like to think of myself as “enlightened” – open to the thoughts and opinions of others even if they’re completely different from my own.
Unfortunately, this version of CJ is often pushed aside far too often when I’m certain that the other viewpoint is ridiculous.
In other words, I’m tolerant when it’s easy to concede on unimportant issues, but narrow-minded on other topics.
This intolerance keeps me from building bridges with others, which hurts personal and professional relationships.
The next time you’re about to dig in on a disagreement, ask yourself, “What if they’re right?”
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post How to be enlightened appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Ever assume the best way to find happiness is the achieve more?<>
More recognition, more stuff, more financial security, etc.
I have.
I assumed a direct correlation between my sense of contentment and my resume/bank statement/LinkedIn profile.
This focus led to an obsession with activity, measurement, and accolades.
Unfortunately, it never resulted in what I really craved – lasting joy.
The problem had nothing to do with the activity, measurement, or accolades. There’s nothing wrong with setting big goals and working hard to achieve them.
The problem had to do with my belief in the lie that I wasn’t “enough” unless my life was focused on more achievement. A few years back, I recognized that finding joy had less and less to do with the standard measurements of success. Rather, the amount of joy I experience has more to do with my ability to accept life as it is instead of wanting it to be different.
I appreciate that my fellow overachievers might find the idea of looking for contentment in life a little lazy.
I get it. It took me years to develop a different (and much healthier) perspective.
Give it a try.
Trust me – it’s worth the work.
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Healthy… or lazy? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Ever find yourself asking this question on vacation?<>
This past weekend, I was on a trip with my family. More times than I’d like to admit, I found myself looking to the future and asking, “what’s next?”
Like most overachievers, I struggle to live in the moment because, at some level, I view my current activity as something to be accomplished and checked off the list so I can move on to something else.
This is no way to live.
Life is a journey to be savored slowly. It’s not a competition to see who can get the most done.
Before you start beating yourself up for not “mastering” the art of living in the moment, remember, your goal is improvement, not perfection.
As for me, I’m getting a little better every day.
At the San Diego Zoo, I noticed my pull to the future and declared (quietly, in my head, I’m not that crazy) “Just enjoy the gorilla sticking his butt up against the glass.”
Carpe diem my friends.
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post What’s next? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Curious why those “5 simple steps” aren’t working for you?<>
You may have heard that there’s a direct correlation between the amount you eat and your weight.
In addition, it’s been rumored that spending less time scrolling through social media will help you feel better about the world.
Finally, I’ve been told that saving money at an early age is good for your retirement (has something to do with this crazy concept called “compound interest”).
Turns out that making meaningful improvements in your life comes down to following a little common sense.
This begs the question… Why don’t we follow these simple rules and reap the benefits?
The answer is just as simple – we have very little patience for delayed gratification. We want immediate results – not in 6 months, 30 days, or even 48 hours. We want change NOW.
If you lost 15 lbs in the next 24 hours by skipping dessert, it would be easy to eat a couple of carrot sticks after dinner.
Unfortunately, 99% of the positive change we’re seeking requires a quality that very few people (especially me) take the time to develop – patience.
Stop searching for the silver bullet and instead focus on the tiny tweaks you can make today.
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post The Key to Achievement appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Overachievers are constantly in denial.<>
“I can take 50 more clients.”“I can sleep 4 hours a night.”“I can work 90 hours a week. Repeatedly.”
Let’s say you do that.
If you hit every goal and make more money than anyone else in the world, but, as a result, are miserable, then what is it all for?
My friend Ken Haman and I sat down with The AB Advisor Institute and shared some simple ways to spot burnout and tactics for how to get out of it.
Register and watch Advisor Burnout: Spot the Warning Signs – and How to Recover From It.
Thanks for letting me be a part of your journey.<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Burnout: Spot the Warning Signs appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There’s only one reason you should ever have to send this type of email.<>
Recently, I received the following message from a friend:
“Sorry it took me 2 weeks to get back to you. I’ve been buried in my inbox and just got to your email.”
We’ve all received this type of message many times in our professional careers. In fact, many of us have sent this type of email.After weeks of extensive research, I’ve identified one circumstance that justifies being 2 weeks behind in your email: You’ve been kidnapped and held captive deep in the jungle without access to your phone/laptop.This email insanity has got to stop. Your goal at the end of each day should be to have no more than 10 emails in your inbox.That’s right, I said 10.Before insisting that, “You don’t understand my job/industry/role/etc.”, hear me out. I promise you can do this by following a simple process:<>Create a folder called “OLD” and fill it with any email in your inbox that’s more than 30 days old. (You’re ignoring these emails anyway; you might as well get them out of your daily eyesight. You can always set aside an hour every week to review this folder.)<>In the “OLD” folder create another folder called Near Death and put any email in this folder that is more than 1 year old. (No one is sitting at their laptop daily wondering “I hope this is the day CJ responds to the email I sent in 2017!”<>Set aside a Saturday morning to go through both folders reviewing each individual email. Decide which ones need to be saved. I’d file these in the appropriate folders (e.g. – Client, project, admin, etc.). Delete everything else.<>Going forward, instead of wading in and out of your email all day long set aside times to review, respond, file, and delete emails. The end of the day should be the time to get it under ten. A few additional tips to decrease the overall email traffic to make this easier include:* + Unsubscribe from every email newsletter you get (except mine). + Read emails one time and respond. + If you’re CC’d on an email that doesn’t require your input, delete it immediately. + If someone sends you an email that’s more than 100 words, tell them to give you a call (and then delete the email).
This advice is simple, but it can be extremely difficult to change behavior.Don’t aim for perfection – just get a little better every day.
—CJ
P.S. If you’re looking for a great resource on email, check out Cal Newport’s A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Tame your inbox appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I often ask groups for the names of shows they would never let their young kids watch.<>
While the answers vary, they all share the same the same mature themes – too much violence, offensive language, sex, etc.
My follow-up question – “What harm do you think will come from a TV show?” – always gets the same answer – “I don’t want my kids to be negatively influenced by the content.”
This makes sense. Parents recognize that young children are a product of their environment and reducing the negative content they’re exposed to is one way to positively shape their behavior.
Guess who else is a product of their environment?
You, me, and every other adult on this planet.
Just like our kids, we’re influenced (both positively and negatively) by the information we consume.
Keep this in mind when choosing which shows you watch, news feeds you scroll through, or podcasts you listen to.
<>—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post What can it hurt? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
2.5 minutes is about as long as I can sit in a room full of people without judging others.…..
Believe it or not, that’s an improvement.
It took me a while to realize that judging others is simply an attempt to compare my situation/achievements to others. I scan the crowd, hoping for a few “wins” so that I feel superior (even if it’s just for a moment).
Luckily, now that I recognize this truth, I typically catch myself before sizing up the entire room. In that moment I remind myself that “This judgment never leaves me feeling any better – let it go.”
In today’s world, it’s tempting to believe that there’s a direct link between lasting joy and being “better” than others.
There isn’t and never will be.
…..—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post No Judgement Here… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I’ve been an overachiever since the second grade.…..
I remember vividly when my teacher announced a competition to read the most books every week. The winner got a gold star next to their name on a large board at the front of the classroom.
I won. And I was hooked.
For a while, the “success” made me happy. However, I slowly started to recognize that it was never enough. There was always more.
I’ve spent the last two decades working with overachievers who have taught themselves that success/recognition/money will lead to happiness.
I can tell you what follows them every single day: fear.
- Fear of being overwhelmed: Life is significantly more complicated with every achievement – increased bills, meetings, direct reports, and clients that are constantly vying for your time.
- Fear of losing: No matter what you achieve, it will always seem like someone else is living life better. Comparison is what the American economy is built on.
- Fear of abandonment: If I don’t continue to perform and work, then someone else will be more valuable, and all of my success will be gone.
- Fear of a purposeless existence: If I’m not achieving, I have no purpose.
Which begs the question… What are the key factors that help you find more joy along the journey? The answer won’t be easy, and it won’t be a quick fix. I can promise you though, it will be worth it.
There’s more to life than overachieving. If you’re ready for another way, check out The Recovering Overachiever: The 3 Essential Keys to Happiness on LinkedIn.
…..—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
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You are flawed.CJ McClanahan
In a world obsessed with achievement and recognition, the above statement feels offensive.
However, the sooner we accept our imperfections, the closer we get to becoming the person we were meant to be.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to look past what makes us exceptional when we’re trying desperately to impress others.
Embrace the journey to find the real you, even if it means admitting you’re flawed.
CJ McClanahan—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Who’s the real you? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
This too shall pass. CJ McClanahan
In the moment, the issue that has us all worked up seems so very important.
In retrospect, it rarely is.
In his thoughtful book, A Time to Build, author Yuval Levin says:
“Short-termism is often a function of unstructured thinking, which leaves us adrift in the moment and unable to see beyond it. It contributes to what social scientists call “recency bias”: the tendency to assign undue importance to what has just happened or is currently happening, losing perspective regarding both the past and the future.”
We’ve only got so much emotional energy available. Let’s not waste it in trivial matters.CJ McClanahan—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post How are you using your (limited) energy? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
In a world full of people who seem angry all the time, I’m focused on becoming the guy who’s almost never upset.Life is too short.
I find myself saying this phrase a lot lately.
Maybe, it’s that I’m on the final 3rd of the journey on planet earth or it’s possible that I’m maturing a bit as I age (my family will challenge this second assumption).
In a world full of people who seem angry all the time, I’m focused on becoming the guy who’s almost never upset.
There’re 3 important reasons behind this approach:
- Most of what I get upset about (IU basketball, Nebraska football) is trivial and relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
- Even if something is important (political leadership, national debt, global warming, etc.) there’s very little I can do about it (other than vote and support candidates).
- I don’t have the patience to learn enough about most issues (AI, rising health care costs, etc.), so I don’t believe I’ve earned the right to be angry about something I don’t understand.
Here’s how this thought experiment is changing my life.
I’m experiencing less stress, finding more joy, and uttering the phrase “Those people are idiots!” a lot less (although, it hasn’t been eliminated, idiots still do exist).
More importantly, I’m now able to focus more of my time and energy on the things I understand and where I can make a meaningful difference.
CJ McClanahan
CJ McClanahan—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
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When I grew up, #23 was a good thing… in 2024, not so much.CJ McClanahan
For the first time in recorded history, the United States dropped out of the top 20 happiest countries.
“The growing unhappiness among young adults reflects in part the pressure to always be happy and being misled by messages on social media that accumulating wealth and material things will make them content.” U.S. No Longer Ranks Among World’s 20 Happiest Countries, WSJ 2024
Come on. Are you really surprised?
In her book Try Softer, Aundi Kolber, MA, LPC, points out our tendency to white-knuckle our way through life, convinced that if we just push a little more, eventually, we’ll be in control, find peace, and finally achieve the level of success that will make us feel worthy.
Instead of ‘white-knuckling’ through your day, what would happen if you chose to release your grip on the situation?
CJ McClanahan—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post USA… #23? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The secret to effective solutions in meetings is simpler than you think.CJ McClanahan
Early in my career, I loved watching one of my mentors navigate a meeting.
He would quietly watch everyone tossing out opinions only speaking if he had a clarifying question.
As the meeting winded down, he would ask to speak, briefly summarize our conversation, and layout a path forward.
His insight was always thoughtful, concise, and exactly what the room needed to hear.
Think about his simple formula.
- Listen.
- Thoughtfully consider the information.
- Briefly provide a succinct solution.
Compare this to the typical approach we find today.
- Develop an opinion.
- Talk/post about it.
- Ignore everyone else.
Your company, family, friends, and the world need less of your opinions and more of your attention.
CJ McClanahan—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Have a meeting? Try this. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
How do you know you’re making the right decision? Before you tie yourself in a knot, remember this.CJ McClanahan
Between now and the end of 2024, you will make thousands of decisions.
Some of them will be inconsequential (medium vs. large, window up vs. down, etc.), while others may have life-altering ramifications (should I propose, sell my business, etc.).
Despite the importance/size/relevance of each one, these choices are all driven by the same desire… control. Our goal with every decision is to maximize the likelihood of an outcome we desire.
And… there’s nothing wrong with that.
The problem comes when we expect that our efforts should guarantee a result.
The truth is that no matter what you do, life is unpredictable.
For overachievers, this lack of certainty is maddening.
But (as someone who once believed illness could be eliminated with enough hand sanitizer) I can assure you that there are times in life when you simply need to let go.
CJ McClanahan—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
CJ McClanahan
The post Making a decision? Consider this. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The first step in finding a joy-filled, purpose-driven life that’s right for you is to consider a shift in your current paradigm.CJ
At some point, we’ve all had a gap in our hectic schedules and taken a moment to consider this question.
Depending on where you were born, your options are probably limitless.
But, just like trying to pick out the perfect brand of pillow, iPhone case or multivitamin on Amazon, it’s easy to drown in all the choices.
You might be wondering…
- Should I become the CEO?
- Follow my passion?
- Move to Montana?
- Take up fly fishing?
While there’s no perfect answer, let me help you get moving in the right direction.
Today, most people wonder… How can I feel more happiness (see the above questions)?
This question leads down a selfish path of introspection rarely delivering anything more than fleeting enjoyment.
Instead, of wondering what it takes to make your life better, instead try this approach.
Focus on the needs of others wondering… How can I help my friends, family, coworkers, and community (especially those who need it the most) find more joy in their lives?
CJ—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post What am I going to do with this short life? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Are you caught in your own Overachiever’s Trap?CJ
Having influence and making money aren’t evil things. In fact, success and resources lead to opportunity for you and those around you.
The issue comes when we start basing our actions in “more” instead of “enough.”
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Start comparing yourself… to yourself.
Are you a better person than you were six months ago? If the you from five years ago could see you now, what would five-years-younger-you say?
Then, take one small action today to get you closer to where you want to go.
CJ—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
P.S. Check out The [recovering] Overachiever #23 Break the Cycle for two exercises to develop a healthier perspective on success.
The post Break the Cycle appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Regardless of my mood, the good and not-so-good days have something in common.CJ
Some days, I’m full of boundless energy and optimism. I feel unstoppable and capable of changing the world.
Other times, I find it hard to get excited about anything and wonder if I’m making a difference at all.
Sound familiar?
In both circumstances, I focus on my behavior because whether I feel like it or not, I’ve still got to deliver.
Despite the images you see in your social feeds, no one is “on” all the time.
We’re emotional creatures, full of ups and downs.
Here’s my advice – acknowledge the struggle and keep moving.
When you’re in a funk and don’t feel like going to a meeting or dealing with a difficult customer, embrace your humanity and get back to work.
CJ—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post Actions Speak Louder than Moods appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There’s a disconnect between what society says about joy and what it actually is.1479.
This is the number of sales meetings I’ve had with CEO’s and entrepreneurs since starting my business 20 years ago.
(Note: This is not true. I have no idea the number, but it’s been a lot.)
In 96.7% of the meetings (another made-up statistic), the person sitting across the table wants the same thing – more achievement.
The definition of “achievement” might vary a little between each person, but it’s typically related to the growth of their business – both top and bottom line.
About 5 years into coaching, I realized that my clients weren’t just hiring me for more achievement.
What they really wanted was the feeling they associate with achievement – joy.
However, the disconnect between achievement and the feeling we’re actually after creates issues.
Joy is the feeling of contentment and purpose with life as it is.
The person experiencing joy finds that life slows down a bit. They’re no longer obsessed with recognition and acquisition. Their desire for growth (mentally, spiritually, professionally, etc.) is now less about impressing others and more of a fun challenge.
Keep this in mind as you consider the next achievement you put on your list.
—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post What We’re Really Playing For… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Tired of feeling like you’ll never be content?Try this quick exercise:1. Take out a pen/paper and spend the next 60 seconds listing everything in life you consider a blessing. Include whatever pops into your head. (Individual family members, homes, friends, careers, clothes, food, etc.) 2. Flip the page and document the things in your life that aren’t going well. (If you’re like me, the second list is a fraction the size of the first.) 3. Put a star next to the 3 items that frequently occupy your mind the most.
Did you put a star next to anything in the first (gratitude) list?
Don’t beat yourself up, if the answer is “no”, you’re not alone.
We tend to focus most of our energy on the things going wrong despite the fact that the good FAR outweighs the bad.
There are dozens (if not hundreds, maybe thousands) of books/podcasts/webinars/etc. discussing this challenge. It’s a known issue.
Unfortunately, the solutions (motivational screen savers, random prayers, gratitude journal, etc. ) usually don’t seem to make a meaningful difference.
The good news is, fixing the issue isn’t complicated. The bad news is, it’s not easy or quick.
Think of your brain like a computer. It takes in information and uses this data to shape your opinions, behavior, and mood.
Further, there’s only two ways that something can get into your brain: your eyes and your ears.
Most people fill their brains with negativity (TV, social media, complaining peers, etc.) and every now and then sprinkle in a grateful thought.
Assuming the inputs of negative to grateful are 10 to 1 (probably more like 100 to 1), it’s easy to see why we tend to focus on what’s broken in the world.
Changing your perspective is one of the most difficult challenges you’ll ever face. It makes the Keto diet or training for a marathon look easy.
But, there’s no better gift you can give yourself – or those you love – than an improved outlook.
—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post Not for the Faint of Heart appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
For the majority of my life, I followed a simple principle: Effort (lots of it) = Achievement = Happiness/Satisfaction.
Initially, it works. The harder you work, the more you achieve, and every achievement delivers a sense of happiness/satisfaction.
However, as most overachievers realize, there is a downside.
The feelings of happiness are fleeting. And, as time goes on you need bigger and bigger achievements to feel any satisfaction at all.
While I understand this truth, the old, well-grooved neural pathway in my brain has yet to embrace the message. As a result, I’m still hardwired to throw more effort into everything I do.
Sound familiar?
The good news is that recognizing the issue is the first step in solving the problem.
Now, it’s time to change our hardwiring and build some new pathways in our overachieving brains.
Here’s an idea to get started: Sometime in the coming weeks, clear your calendar in the afternoon and do… nothing.
Seriously.
Don’t tell anyone about it. Resist the urge to set a bunch of goals.
Just be.
—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post The Downside of Striving appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
For flawed humans, being completely free of defects and flaws is completely impossible to attain. Yet, we constantly strive. The Perfection Trap author Thomas Curran makes a compelling point that the root of all this effort is the fear of failure, rejection and judgement.
I believe it all comes down to fear.
We cover our fear with achievement/recognition/accolades. Racing at such a fast pace that not even our friends and loved ones can keep up. Because if we slow down, we’ll feel it.
The truth is, if you’re human, then fear is part of the journey.
The cure is not to ignore it or rush past it. The cure is to sit with it.
Facing the fear won’t be comfortable. Some days will be easier, and others will be more difficult.
This week, ask yourself: What am I so afraid of?
Then (and this is the hard part) just be still while you wait for the answer.
—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post The Problem with Perfect appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I find myself saying this more than ever to audiences, clients, and friends.
Interestingly enough, instead of being offended with this insight, most people loosen up, relieved that this truth is finally out in the open.
Imperfection is the characteristic we all share but are too afraid to admit or discuss.
Admitting our shortcomings can be difficult. However, there is a huge upside to this vulnerability.
No one wants to spend time with the egomaniac who claims to have everything figured out. We gravitate towards those who acknowledge that they’re a work in progress.
Worry less about impressing others and just be yourself.
—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post You are flawed appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Many years ago, a mentor of mine pointed out that every decision we make is driven by one of two forces – fear or love.As you can imagine, behavior driven by love is more likely to bring you joy. In addition, the decisions influenced by love have a better chance of improving the lives of those around you.
I’ve thought of this wisdom many times over the years as it relates to my thoughts and actions. While some of my choices are clearly inspired by love, many are rooted in fear.
Note – This isn’t a black/white conversation, there’s tons of grey. For example, the colonoscopy I had a few weeks ago could be considered a decision driven by fear (what if something’s wrong with me) and love (I want to stay healthy to spend time with my family).
While I don’t believe there’s a magic ratio for decision making (e.g. 80% love and 20% fear), I do believe it’s in our best interests to lean toward love.
Keep this in mind as you wade into the new year full of enthusiasm for more achievement.—CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post Fear or Love appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Outdoing everyone else in the big 3 (acquisition, recognition, and compensation) is a fool’s errand.
The post The only game to win appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Work is not just a way to make money and stay busy. It’s how we prove our worth to ourselves and those around us.We get to sing to the tune of our favorite song:
- Overcommitting to what we can realistically accomplish
- Applying pressure to our people to hit stretch goals (because that’s fun for everyone, right?)
- Fantasizing of ways we can split our attention 100 different ways and get it all done (because that always happens)
Wanting for nothing, we are stuck in a cycle of chasing everything. So we work and work and work. As a result, our stress grows and grows and grows.
Psychologist and author Bryan Robinson writes:
“Workaholism is a compulsive disorder that manifests itself through self-imposed demands, an inability to regulate work habits, and an over-indulgence in work — to the exclusion of most other life activities.” – Chained to the Desk in a Hybrid World
Remember, not everything can be important.
—CJ
CJ McClanahan
Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever
The post It’s every overachiever’s favorite time of year: business planning season. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The craving we feel for the next “hit” of stimulation isn’t all that different from an alcoholic longing for their next drink.
The post Constant Interruptio- Ping! A new meeting has been added to your calendar! appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Dr. 'Deji Ayoade shares his story from extreme poverty in Nigeria to becoming the first African immigrant to become a nuclear missile operator in the United States Air Force and serve in three U.S. military branches.
The post Dr. ‘Deji Ayoade: My American Dream appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Planning to improve the odds of success is a wise move. Planning to eliminate uncertainty is a fool’s errand.
The post The single most important thing to know about life appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The world is packed with overachievers competing for - and winning - accomplishments.
The post the lie we believe appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
A helpful escape can be as simple as an afternoon at a park, a dinner someplace new, a day at a lake, or a weekend hiking the hills of a national park.
The post Burnout or Refresh? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
It’s easy to feel that we “have to” go to the grocery, meet with the finance team, plan our vacation, etc.
The post Change your language appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Lying in the emergency room, I moaned (seriously, I can be a little dramatic) that the driver’s apology wasn’t enough… he’s a complete idiot who should have his license revoked!
The post One broken hand later… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Really? It’s not safe to go in the water anywhere on your summer vacation?
The post Why it’s not safe to go in the water appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
It turns out that 97.5% (made-up statistic) of the professionals I've met over the years don't regularly take the time to slow down and appreciate their accomplishments.
The post The Fear of Falling Behind appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
"Forty-four percent of employees said they experienced a lot of stress daily, repeating the record high in 2021 and continuing a trend of elevated stress that began almost a decade earlier." - 2023 State of the Global Workplace
The post Gallup’s 2023 Workplace Report appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
This approach leads to the belief that stopping to be grateful is a waste of time when there's so much left to accomplish.
The post 3 ways to recognize your abundance appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There are times when it’s OK to respond out of fear. For example, if you’re being chased by a grizzly bear, it’s completely appropriate to run fearing for your life.
The post Over-programmed by fear appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
At some point this week, you’ll run into a problem. (Or, if you’re having a week like mine, it might be lots of problems.)When the issue bubbles up, the overachiever in you screams – “Get to work! We’ve got to fix this immediately.”
Our next jerk reaction to a problem (especially a big one) is to throw lots of effort and energy at it.
The next thing you know, emails are sent, meetings are scheduled, and projects are planned.
Sometimes this approach works and the problem is solved.
Unfortunately, all too often, this frantic activity just stirs up dust.
This week, before trying to “solve” the next issue that comes across your plate, take a deep breath, step back and seek some perspective.—CJ
Take The Achiever’s Compass
The post The problem with problems… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
What mistakes would you avoid if you moved just a little slower?Many years ago, I was helping my then girlfriend (now wife) move from one apartment to another.
As I’m sure you’re well aware, moving is awful. It involves lots of trips in and out of box trucks, navigating further through small doors, and a decent amount of body odor.
I would probably rather have appendicitis than ever move again.
I rushed in and out of her apartment, often asking, “Can’t we just throw this away?” I paid very little attention to what I was doing, and received the “Slow down and be careful!” warning about every 7 minutes.
One dropped dresser, an emergency room visit and 5 stitches later, we all came to realize one thing: I have a small problem with patience.
Patience is one of the most challenging characteristics for a driven individual to acquire.
Despite the difficulty, it’s important that we recognize that meaningful change rarely happens quickly.
Take it one step at a time and reflect on how far you’ve already come.
—CJ
The post The 1 thing 5 stitches taught me appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Could it be that we’re not a society of crazies, after all?People hold the door for me all the time.
For a while, I thought that it was because I looked like a celebrity.
However, the more I watch others, it’s clear that we are a society of “door-holders”.
And it’s not just holding doors.
The more I pay attention, the more I notice subtle displays of kindness between strangers.
Despite what you might think, most people are good at the core.
We are kind, thoughtful and care about the needs of others.
Keep this in mind the next time you scroll through Twitter and assume the world is filled with horrible people.
Or, maybe it’s time to disconnect from the crazies?
—CJ
The post To all you door holders… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Though uncomfortable, “no” could be one of your best tools for a peaceful life.Many years ago, I scheduled a meeting with one of my mentors to ask an important favor.
After a few pleasantries, I laid out the case for my appeal telling him that I didn’t need an answer for a few weeks.
Instead, he responded with, “I’d rather tell you no right now and here’s why…”
In the moment, it hurt my feelings. I wondered how he could so quickly dismiss my request with (seemingly) no consideration.
I now look back on that meeting fondly as an important teaching moment.
He was able to say “no” without reservation because he was crystal clear about what’s important in his life.
The clearer our values, the easier it is to tell the truth quickly.The post The quick no appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
“To know and not to do is really not to know.” – Stephen Covey
I’ve reminded audiences of this truth hundreds of times in my career.
Unfortunately, I haven’t always embraced and learned from its message.
Too often, I put down a book and think, “Wow, I can’t wait to put these lessons into practice.”
That’s when it gets difficult.
Learning something new is easy. For example, scroll through LinkedIn for 10 minutes and you’re bound to trip across a bunch of useful professional advice.
But, as Dr. Covey pointed out, jamming your brain full of new information that you’ll eventually forget is a far cry from changing your behavior.
The kind of change we’re looking for requires work.
The key is daily intentional practice on a few areas (less than 3, preferably 1) in your life that need improvement.
—CJ
The post The change you want… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The Sustainable Development Solutions Network just released the 2023 World Happiness Report.The report identifies eight key areas that directly impact happiness and well-being:
- physical and mental health
- human relationships (in the family, at work and in the community)
- income and employment
- character virtues, including trust and behaviors intended to benefit others
- social support
- personal freedom
- lack of corruption
- effective government
While we might not have a lot of impact on our government’s effectiveness or our country’s level of corruption, the top four categories are ones we can do something about.1. Choose one small change you want to make to positively impact your health or relationships. 2. Block time on your calendar to make sure it happens. 3. When you misstep (because we’re all human), forgive yourself and move on.
—CJ
P.S. Read the full 2023 World Happiness Report from The Sustainable Development Solutions Network.
The post What’s on your scorecard? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We’ve been told many times by professional growth “gurus” (guilty as charged), that we should live a life with no limits. I’m fully on board with one interpretation of this message – You shouldn’t place limits on your future abilities just because you’ve never achieved something in the past.
However, I’m not a fan of the way most overachievers understand this phrase – You shouldn’t place any limits on what you acquire including material possessions or accolades.
The latter suggests that the best (some would argue only) way to lead a meaningful/successful life is to accumulate more and more.
As you may have heard (at the very least from me), accomplishment for the sake of adding to an already crowded resume, social media profile or personal balance sheet never delivers the long-term satisfaction we crave.
Worse, this approach infers that we deserve the perfect life, and anything less is failure.
Is it possible that there’s merit to living a life with limits?
-CJ
The post Life without limits appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We live in a society obsessed with accomplishment.Our heroes are professional athletes, celebrities, and social media influencers.
We’ve convinced ourselves that individual achievement is the surest path to success and that this alone will make us happy.
Unfortunately, this momentary “success” rarely leads to meaningful fulfillment. No matter how big of a mountain we climb, it’s never enough.
This truth (sometimes referred to as the hedonistic paradox) begs the question… How can one find lasting joy?
While there’s no easy answer, bestselling author David Brooks provides us with an interesting place to start looking:
“Day to day we seek out pleasure, but deep down, human beings are endowed with moral imagination. All human beings seek to lead lives not just of pleasure, but of purpose, righteousness, and virtue.” – The Road to Character by David Brooks
—CJThe post We’re obsessed with accomplishment appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We are all rational human beings.However, I’ve been through enough therapy in my life to know that we are also a product of our environments.
Our belief system is initially influenced by our family and close friends. Next, it’s heavily influenced by social (and television) because the algorithms keep trapping us in a rage-filled echo chamber of how irrational and crazy “those people” are.
Worse, as the author David McRaney points out in his book How Minds Change, once we developed our beliefs, we assume:
“…anyone who disagrees with your conclusions probably just doesn’t have all the facts yet. If they did, they’d already be seeing the world like you do. This is why you continue to ineffectually copy and paste links from all our most trusted sources when arguing your points with those who seem misguided, crazy, uninformed, and just plain wrong. The problem is that this is exactly what the other side thinks will work on you.”
Here’s an interesting experiment to consider:
Instead of trying to convince others to change, assume the other person is just as rational as you are and get curious about how they came to their conclusions.
—CJ
The post We’re all rational appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I want to live a life characterized by sharing abundantly (time and money) with those who are less fortunate.Some days I live that out, but many times I put off helping those who really need it. I rationalize that by promising that I’ll give “as soon as” I have more.
I don’t think I’m unique.
We live in a society obsessed with acquisition and achievement.
The idea of living with (and doing) less seems silly and almost lazy.
This approach suggests that acquisition and achievement are the reason we exist.
Maybe it’s time to rethink our priorities.
—CJ
The post Does what you buy define who you are? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Microstress is an accumulation of small events that build over time. They are seemingly insignificant obstacles that we easily overcome. On their own, they’re not so bad.
Our bodies are extremely good at navigating stress – big events that trigger a flight/flight/freeze response.
Our bodies have no clue what to do with microstress.
It looks like this:
- The late-night email from your boss requesting a report for 8 am, so you sacrifice sleep and family to deliver on time.
- The frantic text from your kid that they forgot their shoes for basketball practice and need you to drop everything to bring them.
- The extra time you spend fielding calls from team members who need to air frustrations about the latest company reorg.
Microstress has one key cause – important people in our lives. It’s good to help our team. It’s good to be there for our family.
Because each of these small demands takes a toll, we need to watch our tendency to be “everything to everyone”.
Set some boundaries and create a little margin in your life.
-CJ
P.S. Every month, I address key challenges of high achievers and discussion questions to help change perspective and drive the momentum in the right direction. Subscribe to The [recovering] Overachiever on LinkedIn.
The post How’s your microstress? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
In The Road to Character, David Brooks asks two important questions:What does life want from me*?*
What are my circumstances calling me to do?
You’ll notice a slight difference between this inquiry and everything else you read, watch, and listen to from the personal development industry.
Today, the self-help “movement” believes that our lives should be focused on a similar-sounding (but completely different) question:
What do I want out of life?
This subtle shift in wording changes our perspective in a profound way.
Asking what we want from life infers that the world owes us something – that our circumstances aren’t delivering the life we deserve.
This approach assumes there’s a big hole in our life that needs filling.
The next thing you know, you’re buying a third vacation home, remodeling a walk-in closet (to fit 63 pairs of running shoes) and signing up for a 7-day meditation retreat in Maui.
The truth is, life isn’t fair and it owes us nothing.
Embracing this truth leads us to responses that deliver the ultimate fulfillment.
-CJ
P.S. Check out The Road to Character by David Brooks. It’s worth your time.
The post What does life want from you appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Most overachievers believe that out-doing everyone else is the best path to being successful.This belief leads to a long list of goals designed to maximize our capabilities (and eventually impress our social media followers).
We can’t imagine a weekend without a 5-page “to-do” list.
Our amazing vacations merely serve as another item to cross off our bucket list.
The problem with this approach is that it rarely leads to what we’re ultimately searching for… the feeling of peace, joy, and contentment.
It’s good to set ambitious goals. They push us outside our comfort zones and challenge us to improve.
The key is to stop obsessing over the destination and simply enjoy the ride along the way.
-CJ
The post Life isn’t meant to be conquered appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Intellectually, we get it.We understand that some people are born with a full head of overflowing hair while others are almost completely bald by the age of 30. (20 years later, this one still stings a little.)
But even though our rational, thinking brain appreciates this truth, the emotional part of our mind is pissed that others have it better than we do.
We’re frustrated, that we face obstacles that our peers never seem to endure (e.g. gout).
It drives us crazy, that we didn’t invest in that tech company before anyone else or have the perfect child who never causes any worry.
Wanting life to be different is one of the less-than-ideal parts of being human.
When it happens, we’ve got a choice – sit with the emotion or fight it.
Resistance only makes things worse.
-CJ
P.S. I had a life-changing conversation with Kristi Nelson, author of Wake Up Grateful. She shared her journey with Stage IV cancer and how it gifted her with the ability to unlock a foundation of joy, no matter what circumstance you’re in. Listen to the full conversation on Success 2.0.
The post Life Isn’t Fair appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
In 2014, Timothy Wilson conducted a study in which participants stated that they would pay money to avoid an electric shock.No surprises there.
However, once they were left alone in the lab room, the inactivity became too much to bear, and people sought to fill the void.
The result? 67% of men and 25% of women chose to press a button to electrically shock themselves rather than sit still with their own thoughts.
Can you relate?
Being present is more than difficult – it can be painful. However, as I’m learning, it is the only way to achieve the true sense of peace we actually crave.
Take some time to sit in silence for a few minutes. What do you feel? Notice?
Take a moment to honor those things, then move on with your day.
-CJ
P.S. I had a life-changing conversation with Kristi Nelson, author of Wake Up Grateful. She shared her journey with Stage IV cancer and how it gifted her with the ability to unlock a foundation of joy, no matter what circumstance you’re in. Listen to the full conversation on Success 2.0.
The post Hustle Culture appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
How do you build a foundation for a happy and joy filled life, regardless of your circumstances?
Kristi Nelson, author of Wake Up Grateful will help you understand why living gratefully is so difficult in our world, and how gratitude as a habit – not an occasional trick – will change your life.
As always, we’ll leave you with simple, proven tools to get you in the right direction. Thanks for letting me be a part of your journey!
Kristi NelsonKristi Nelson is the Ambassador for Grateful Living and the author of Wake Up Grateful: The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted. She served as Executive Director at Grateful Living from 2014 – 2022. Her life’s work in the non-profit sector has focused on leading, inspiring, and strengthening organizations committed to progressive social and spiritual change. Being a long-time stage IV cancer survivor moves her every day to support others in living and loving with great fullness of heart.
What We Discuss in this Episode:
- Kristi’s battle with Stage IV cancer and why such a difficult time moved her to establish a foundation of gratitude (2:00 to 4:15)
- Why gratitude is so difficult in our culture and time (4:15 to 10:35)
- How to harness comparison to unlock joy (10:35 to 14:10)
- How to go from understanding gratitude to practicing gratitude (14:10 to 33:17)
- The vision behind Grateful Living (33:17 to 36:26)
Mentioned in the Podcast:
- Wake Up Grateful, by Kristi Nelson (email CJ for a free copy!)
- Free Wake Up Grateful Discussion and Study Guide by Kristi Nelson
- Take The Achiever’s Compass
(Download Episode Here)
(Subscribe to the Podcast Here)
(Connect with CJ)
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps!
The post Wake Up Grateful with Kristi Nelson appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
It’s not unusual for one of my executive coaching clients to begin a meeting with, “I apologize in advance but, today I need some couch time.”Whether you recognize it or not, every conversation we have involves some “therapy”.Smart, driven, overachieving professionals are comfortable with business advice. Unfortunately, needing a little counseling feels like admitting a weakness which is typically reserved for those who lack “mental toughness”.Over the last 20 years, I’ve spent more than 10,000 hours working with amazingly talented leaders.Guess what?No matter how much success they’ve had in the business world, some days they’re envious of their peers, afraid of making the wrong decision(s) and/or wonder if they’ve got enough talent/stamina/”mental toughness” to handle the next big challenge.
In other words, they’re exactly the same as you and me.We are all flawed and despite our best efforts, irrational fears can creep into our daily mindset. It’s all just a part of the human experience.Embrace your crazy and enjoy the journey. —CJThe post Embrace your crazy appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Recently, I did something that would have been nearly impossible 10 years ago… I stopped reading a book before it was completed.I understand how ridiculous that sounds, but the truth is that for much of my adult life I never put a book down until it was completed – no matter how terrible the content. Quitting is extremely difficulty for overachievers because we’re always overcommitted and can’t imagine not following through on a task.We fail to understand that we can’t do everything. Every “yes” is a “no” to something else.As soon as I recognized (and internalized) this simple truth, I looked at every commitment I’d made in my life, prioritized this list, and then carefully backed out of some obligations.It was scary at first, but it resulted in 3 benefits that have changed my life for the better: 1. I place a much higher value on my time. 2. I’m far better at the limited commitments I do make. 3. I find it much easier to say “no” to great opportunities that I used to jam into my calendar.
“If everything is important, then nothing is.” — Patrick Lencioni
—CJThe post Quitting vs. Stopping appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
If you were to look at the lives of executives in the United States, here’s what you’d find:* Their household income is greater than 95% of families in the U.S., which easily places them in the top 1% globally. * They live in large homes, drive nice cars, and take great vacations. * From a material standpoint, they lack almost nothing and rarely put off a purchase simply because it’s expensive.
From the outside looking in, life seems perfect. However, as you know by now, life doesn’t always feel as perfect as it looks.
The majority of people who appear to be completely satisfied with their lives feel the same worries and doubts that you do, but like you, they all assume the best path forward is to maintain the illusion that life is perfect.
No matter how hard you work, how many workshops you attend, or how many books you read, you will never wake up one day and discover that life is perfect and from that moment forward, every second will be filled with complete bliss and happiness.
Remember that life is a journey, and it’s one that doesn’t end until you do.
Once you embrace that truth, all that’s left is to decide the best way to enjoy the journey you’re on.
—CJ
The post The Great Mirage appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I tend to be a little “hyper-judgmental”.I overhear a conversation at a restaurant and immediately assume that the table next to me is filled with idiots.
I watch a parent under/over discipline a child and wonder if you should have to pass a 12-month course before conceiving.
In retrospect, it’s clear I’m making the following 3 mistakes:
- Take the immediate situation out of context.
- Assume that my viewpoint or approach is better.
- Discount their background.
The third is where I need the most work. I’m quick to forget that everyone comes from completely different experiences which shape the person they become.
A new and improved version of CJ is working hard to assume that others have the best intentions and are doing the best they can with the resources at their disposal.
I think we can all agree that the world could use a little more grace.
(Note: The above applies to everyone in my life except the old guy standing next to me naked in the gym locker room responding to texts while I’m getting dressed. There’s no excuse for this nonsense.)
—CJ
The post One of my faults… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There was once a time in our country when you stopped purchasing stuff when you ran out of room in your home.Then, in the late 1960’s, America was introduced to the concept of self-storage (or mini warehousing).
A little more than 50 years later, we now have more than 1.7 billion sq. feet of self-storage, and the industry is about to top $40 billion in annual revenue.
We keep buying, hoping the next purchase will make us feel better about our lives.
Unfortunately, the acquisition of more never satisfies.
Stop scrolling through Amazon. Instead, rejoice in the way things are.
—CJThe post Believe it or not… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Embrace that life is meant to be experienced… not mastered.This past Sunday, I dropped my son off at school for the 2nd semester of his freshman year (I almost cried but held it together).
My parting words included something along the lines of… “Take chances, make mistakes and don’t expect everything to be smooth.”
I chose this advice because I’m all too familiar with the opposite approach to life.
As a young adult, I was obsessed with being seen as successful. I assumed the best strategy for impressing others involved never failing at anything.
I avoided anything risky and buckled under even the slightest bit of adversity. (I dropped one of my first business courses because I got a C on an exam.)
All this striving left me tired, anxious, and unfulfilled.
As I matured, I began to embrace the idea that life is something to be experienced, not mastered. I began taking chances, stumbling from time to time and most importantly – learning.
Here’s the truth:
No one expects as much from you as you do of yourself.
Take a breath and offer yourself a little compassion.
—CJThe post Stop Trying to Win Life appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The New Year is a special time for the hard charging overachiever.
Crafting our 2023 vision/goals/objectives allows us to explore the unlimited potential of the next 12 months.
We love documenting the lofty achievements that will ensure 2023 is a big success.
Unfortunately, these accomplishments rarely deliver what we genuinely crave – a sense of satisfaction and joy. Why? Because the overachiever is never happy.
If we fall short, the year was a failure. If we surpassed our objectives, we didn’t dream big enough.
The problem has nothing to do with the process or the goals we set.
The issue has to do with how we define success.
This year, in addition to setting lofty objectives (there’s nothing wrong with growth), I’d challenge us all to embrace the process and find more joy in the journey – regardless of the outcomes.
—CJThe post Happy Hard-Charging New Year appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Collectively, we have the resources to solve the biggest challenges our communities are facing (poverty, homelessness, disparity in opportunity, etc.).What we need is focus.
Generosity First has a simple goal: Inspire professionals to become charitable leaders within their communities.
This is very different from a passive volunteer position and writing a nominal check every year during the fundraising campaign.
A charitable leader is a talented, driven, busy professional who makes the decision to shift a portion of their valuable and scarce resources (time and money) towards a charitable cause.
Are you ready to give in such a way that makes a meaningful difference to your life and those around you?
Check out Generosity First for more.
Have a blessed holiday season!
—CJ
The post Generosity First appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
As I advise leaders who are building their businesses, setting goals, and envisioning their futures, a pattern emerges.No matter what goal they achieve, it never delivers what they actually crave – contentment, joy and satisfaction.
There are millions of overachievers who have achieved everything (and more) on paper, yet still feel something is missing. We think that if we cram our lives with more stuff/accolades/money that it will fill that spot.
I can tell you with absolute certainty that the constant chase for more will only wear you down.
In the end, it all comes down to how you give.
I’m not talking about donating $100 on Giving Tuesday or volunteering for a soup kitchen once a year. While those things can be a good move in the right direction, it won’t really move the needle for you or for others.
How do you give in such a way that delivers lasting results?
I created a process for my clients to walk them through that very thing called Generosity First.
Check it out and if you know anyone who would find it helpful, feel free to share it.
Have a blessed holiday season!
—CJ
The post Am I making a positive difference? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Every year around this time, I start to focus on the future and watch as the current year slowly slides into the background.Sound familiar?
While the day might be different, I’d bet most are feeling these same emotions and wondering – “What goals should I set for 2023?”
This is a normal question and focusing your attention is a healthy exercise.
After helping hundreds of overachievers set thousands of goals, here are 3 simple guidelines to help you out:
- Less is More – Despite what you’ve been told, you can’t do it all. Every goal you set will (or should) represent a “no” to another objective. It’s OK to fill a notepad full of ideas for 2023 as long as you put a star next to the top 2 or 3 that matter most.
- Find a Buddy – You shouldn’t complete this exercise in a vacuum. Ask someone you trust for their feedback on your vision for the coming year. Be prepared for pushback. The purpose of this process is to assist in effectively allocating resources, not to impress your LinkedIn followers.
- Make it Measurable – After you’ve selected a goal, ask yourself – “How would I know if it’s been accomplished?” Spending more time with the family and eating healthy are great behaviors, but not goals. Your brain knows the difference.
—CJ
The post Before you set that goal… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Do you remember the last time you answered a question with that phrase?It’s rare for overachievers to admit that we don’t have a solution. We crave certainty.
The idea that we’re no more than a search/book/podcast/webinar/etc. away from addressing a challenge feels comfortable and safe.
But as you’ve likely recognized at some point in your life… certainty is a myth.
No matter how many courses you take, checklists you create, or spreadsheets you update, it’s impossible to predict, much less control the future.
A flat tire will keep you from making that big meeting, a loved one will get sick or (heaven forbid) you’ll run smack dab into a global pandemic.
Instead of fighting ambiguity, let go of the need to have all the answers.
You don’t have to feel comfortable in the mystery. Try leaning into it anyway.
—CJ
P.S. Need more inspiration? Subscribe to The [recovering] Overachiever on LinkedIn. Once a month, I dive deep into a specific topic to help you gain a healthier perspective on success. Read the latest article, Build Together.
The post “I have no idea.” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Your friends, peers, clients, etc. aren’t updating their “Impressive People I Know” spreadsheet every time you announce a new recognition on LinkedIn.
The post Chasing recognition appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
It’s almost impossible to complain about not being able to find jeans in your size when you’re serving a homeless person the only meal they’ll get that day.
The post Pattern Interrupt appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Without meaningful relationships, life is empty no matter what else you achieve. The problem with overachievers is, we’re too busy “accomplishing” to slow down and cultivate the effort, intention and gratitude that sustains relationships.
The post Who makes your life worth living? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I believe that together there’s not a problem we (humanity) can’t solve – no matter how daunting it may seem.
The post What person would you be? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
It’s almost as though we believe life doesn’t exist unless it's jam-packed with constant stimulation (or dare I say… achievement/accomplishment).
The post Silence is golden appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
No longer is a conversation with a friend or great seats at an event enough to keep us entertained.
The post I only have a strong opinion on a handful of matters. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
What is dopamine and why don’t we talk more about it? Why is it that the people who are most able to afford a beach house are the least able to enjoy it?
The post The Molecule of More with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There is simply not enough energy in our bodies to argue about everything and give attention to the moments (and people) that matter.
The post Energy is a limited resource appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Impressing others delivers small measures of fleeting happiness. Lasting joy comes from comfortably settling into your unique journey.
The post What would you do differently if you didn’t care about the opinions of others? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
As a result, every morning I face a simple question: “What do I do with these circumstances?”
The post I don’t believe in destiny or fate. appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I didn’t recognize these faults until someone had the courage to point them out to me.
The post It turns out that… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
When someone else is done speaking, don’t say a word for a full count of One Mississippi.
The post Don’t be “that guy.” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
CJ McClanahan and Rebecca Ward unpack the connection between fear and stress, and the impact our thoughts have on our physical well-being.
The post The Paper Tiger with Rebecca Ward appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
When going through torrential change, everything feels disruptive. Here is a peaceful way to approach a crisis.
The post Choices in 1970 appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Don’t wait until the “perfect” time to tell someone how important they are to you.
The post Bad punch lines, burned food and unconditional love appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The truth is we’re all challenged with pressure to be the perfect leader, entrepreneur, employee, parent, friend, etc.
The post “I’m probably different from your other clients.” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We’ve convinced ourselves (with the help social media, the news, Google®, etc.) that we should know the exact answer to (or at the very least, have an opinion about) every question/topic imaginable.
The post “I don’t know.” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Richard shares how to develop your skill to speak and communicate with others to get the results you’ve planned no matter what room – virtual or otherwise – you’re in.
The post Body Talk with Richard Newman appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
One of the first things I did when I started my business in 2003 was to build a Dream Board. It was a collage of everything I could possibly dream of acquiring – a big house, nice cars, Rolex, boat, vacations, hair, etc.
The post Ditch the Dream Board appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Is it possible that the key to happiness is to selflessly help those in need of a little kindness?
The post An unexpected outcome… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Over the years, I've tried everything to avoid feeling that frantic panic that comes from being out of control.
The post Stop fighting anxiety appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Some days will be great. Other days you’ll wonder if you chose the right career, did a good job as a parent, or should have moved to Colorado after college.
The post Expectation is the root of all heartache appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Unfortunately, all meaningful growth comes from failure, uncertainty, and heartache.
The post Be wary of comfortable appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Kute Blackson uncovers the possibility that surrender is the most courageous act you can do to achieve more joy in your life.
The post The Magic of Surrender with Kute Blackson appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
However, if success is ever going to bring you satisfaction, it must be linked to what drives you – not what the world insists is important.
The post What’s success anyway? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We think that happiness will eventually come after a jammed resume, a bunch of recognition, and a high salary. The problem is, we never arrive. We just teach ourselves to crave more.
The post Worry much? You’re not alone… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The truth is that you have time for anything you choose.
The post “I don’t have time.” appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
This week, I’ve challenged myself to slow down a bit and get comfortable with doing less.
The post Free Time Anxiety appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
“If you’re channeling your outrage via social media, you’re only making the situation worse.” - Anonymous
The post If you’re not outraged… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
What would I do differently (personally and professionally) if no one noticed or cared?
The post What if no one noticed? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Today, we’re rewarded for the value we produce which may not always require the most effort.
The post Lucy and the Chocolate Factory appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Peter Block challenges us to get back to the basics of community that will transform how we see our lives and purposes.
The post Uncompromised with Steve White appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We assume that the rest of the world is committed to making our lives difficult.
The post Lead with grace appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
In a world so divisive, it's important to remember that no matter how persuasive your reasoning, people who love to argue rarely listen.
The post Baker Mayfield and my predictable gym routine appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The truth is that life isn’t always fun, easy, and happy – no matter how much we achieve. Take a deep breath and repeat after me…
The post You’re not the only one appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Peter Block challenges us to get back to the basics of community that will transform how we see our lives and purposes.
The post Choosing Service with Peter Block appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Do you remember that book you read that you were certain would change your life? It outlined the "secret" to happiness, washboard abs, 6-figure passive income, better relationship with your kids, etc.
The post Before You Buy… appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
We all (including atheists) practice some form of faith.
The post We all have faith appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
After practicing for years, one thing is certain… few things bring me more peace than silently observing the moment.
The post The Comfort of Data appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
But no matter what that blog promises there’s no such thing as eliminating your debt, getting a million Twitter followers, or losing 100 lbs. in 3 “easy” steps.
The post Hey Google appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I’ll be satisfied as soon as I… get promoted, sell my business, pay off the vacation home, etc. As you know by now, this never works.
The post Wealth is like Seawater appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Micromanaging every facet of life might make you feel better in the short term, but it always leads to a truckload of anxiety.
The post Our Need for Control appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Comparison might feel like the best way to measure success – but it’s almost always the worst. There's a better way.
The post How Much is Enough? appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
There was a time when you couldn’t be reached every second of the day, nor would you work for several hours after putting the kids to bed.
The post Set Limits Find Balance appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
CJ McClanahan and Jan Broders talk strategies on living a successful and prosperous life without compromising your health and happiness.
The post Chasing the Dream with Jan Broders appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Before trying to dig in and “win” an argument, there is a different approach that will serve you (and your relationship with that person) better.
The post College Pep Talks appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Before trying to dig in and “win” an argument, there is a different approach that will serve you (and your relationship with that person) better.
The post Responding to Divisive Issues appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
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Fear and uncertainty have been undermining performance and well-being in the workplace for as long as we have had workplaces. Gaurav Bhatnagar and Mark Minukas show you how to reframe your ― and your employees’ ― relationship with fear and anxiety to create a learning culture of engaged workers at the top of their game.
Gaurav BhatnagarFounder, Co-Creation Partners Gaurav Bhatnagar is the founder of Co-Creation Partners and has dedicated more than two decades to helping companies thrive and achieve breakthrough performance. Since founding Co-Creation Partners in 2010, he has designed and led programs and workshops for private, public, and social-sector clients across multiple industries, including financial services, basic materials, manufacturing, healthcare, and technology. Prior to founding Co-Creation Partners, he was a consultant with McKinsey and Company, most recently as a leader in their Organization Practice in North America. Before McKinsey, he worked in marketing for Pepsi Cola International and Procter & Gamble in Europe, the Middle East, and India.
Mark MinukasFounder, Co-Creation Partners Mark Minukas is the managing partner of Co-Creation Partners. An engineer by training, he began his career as a Navy officer and member of the US Naval Construction Battalion (Seabees) and the Navy Dive Community. In 2005, he brought his experience and insights into the performance of engineered systems to McKinsey and Company, where he worked as a consultant and member of the Operations Practice. There, he mastered the technical aspect of organizational transformation and process improvement, as well as the cultural side of transformation. Since leaving McKinsey to join Co-Creation Partners, Mark has worked across multiple industries, including financial services, high tech, biotech manufacturing, IT services, and governmental offices, to deliver both top- and bottom-line improvements and build high-performing operations.
What We Discuss in this Episode: * Fear sits at the root of how we behave in the workplace. Shifting our relationship with fear will help us move forward into new possibilities and make changes happen. * We have trained ourselves to see threats in our environment, which stems from mismanaged fears. Long term, mismanaging our fears disintegrates trust and creates dysfunctional cultures. * If leaders show up in a reactive way or a vulnerable way, the rest of the people will as well. We must be able to self-regulate emotions, build trust interpersonally, and tell narratives that are inspiring instead of fear-based. * With advancement in technology and the hyper competitive nature of the world today, the only competitive advantage can have is human potential. The way you tap into human potential is by changing your (and your culture’s) relationship with fear. * The way you think is the way you see the world. The way you see the world is the way you act. Therefore, you must act on yourself before anything else can happen. * Strategy is very important, but culture determines what strategy you choose and whether or not that strategy will be executed. If you’re acting from a place of fear, it will change your results. * Stress and anxiety are only varying levels of fear, and the root of fear is our desire to have control paired with a sense that we don’t have it. * Control is a story we create, and we have choice over it. We are not just actors in our lives or insecure overachievers. You are a controller in your life and you have choice over your behaviors.
Mentioned in the Podcast: * Email CJ for your complimentary copy of Unfear * Unfear: Transform Your Organization to Create Breakthrough Perfoamce and Employee Well-Being by Gaurav Bhatnagar and Mark Minukas * Take The Achiever’s Compass
Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps!
The post Unfear with Guarav Bhatnagar and Mark Minukas appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Today, there are countless apps designed to help make our lives easier and get more done.
And I think we can all agree they’re working exceptionally well.
You can be on a conference call at your kid’s soccer game, responding to emails and ordering dinner for pickup (or drop-off).
While this all seems like a great advancement in society (which it is), there is an unintended negative consequence.
Because we can do more than ever before, we’ve convinced ourselves that we should be doing more than ever before.
As a result, even though we’ve filled every waking moment of our lives with commitments and endless interactions, we never feel like we’ve accomplished enough.
Before adding a new appointment to your calendar or downloading another app, consider if it’s time to do less.
– CJ
Featured image by Jesus Hilario H. on Unsplash
The post The Cost of More appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Sometimes, you should quit. This happens when you take on a challenge without understanding all the facts, or the rules of the game change midstream.
When this happens—and it will—carefully consider the amount of time and effort you are committing to the project and ask yourself – ‘Is it time to cut my losses and move on?”
The key is to understand “why” you’re giving up. It can’t simply be because it’s hard.
Remember: If you do quit, move on and resist the urge to beat yourself up for walking away.
If you commit yourself to working on one strategy at a time, I guarantee you’ll enjoy massive benefits.
– CJ
P.S. Are you beating yourself up after quitting? Negative thoughts keep us from becoming the best, most content, version of ourselves. This is a very important issue to unravel in order to maximize our happiness in our life. Listen to Negative Thoughts from Success 2.0 to get a head start.
Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash
The post How to Quit appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Spend 5 Minutes Asking Yourself This Question It’s been said that there’s no such thing as a mistake, only life lessons.
I don’t completely agree with this advice because it frees you of the responsibility to pay attention and improve.
Instead, I encourage my clients to spend five minutes at the end of every day to reflect on their day with a simple question:
“If I could go back to this morning and relive this day, what would I do differently?”
– CJ
Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash
The post How to Change Your Mistakes to Improvements appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
As you may know, I’ve suffered from clinical depression and anxiety since I was in college. I can tell you from experience that sharing my story with people I trust makes even the most trying days bearable.
Humans weren’t designed to face their challenges alone. We are wired to build communities to work together toward a common goal.
Go find a group of people that care about you and ask for their support. It will lighten the load almost immediately.
– CJ
P.S. Not sure how to build relationships and make a strong community? You’re not alone. It can be tricky. Here’s a video with simple tactics to make (and keep) friends.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
The post Don’t Face Challenges Alone appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
A big reason people quit is that they can’t imagine dealing with their current challenge for the next year, month, or week. They’re right.
We can’t deal with a year’s worth of adversity all at once.
That’s why we need to ask ourselves one simple question every day:
“What can I do in the next 24 hours to make progress?”
You’ll be amazed at what you can do if you only focus on doing it for one day.
– CJ
P.S. For tangible ways to improve your focus and identify the activities that move the needle on your biggest goals, listen to Pareto Principle: 80/20 Rule from Success 2.0.
Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash
The post Win the Day appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Accepting failure is a choice we all must make if we really strive for peace in our lives. One of my favorite books of all time, begins with these powerful words:
Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it, then life is no longer difficult. – M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Travelled
The same is true with failure.
Accept the fact that failure is a necessary part of your life, and you no longer fear it quite the same way.
– CJ
P.S. Need more? Check out When to Quit, Stop, or Change Direction.
– CJ
Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash
The post Accepting Failure appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
A critical aspect of building relationship is the art of following through. We’ve all met the person who does an amazing job listening to our story but then forgets the conversation the next time we see them.
We know we’re being sold something and usually call these people politicians (I couldn’t resist).
Here’s a crazy idea.
When you learn something new about an individual’s interests, passions or goals make a note and follow up.
It seems so simple, but it is almost never done. You’ll make a huge impression if all you do is send someone a handwritten note mentioning something you remember from your conversation.
While influencing behavior isn’t rocket science, it does require you to be intentional and allow someone else to be the center of attention.
– CJ
Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash
The post Secrets to Building Relationships appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
Two simple tactics to help you listen well. Most busy professionals (myself included) struggle with keeping their mouths shut.
We allow someone to get about halfway through their thought before we formulate our response and wait impatiently for them to finish.
Here are two simple techniques for improving in this area.
- Look the person in the eyes when they are talking.
- Wait one full second after they’re done before you respond. (Trust me, one second feels like an eternity for most.)
It’s also not a bad idea to repeat what they said to ensure you’re on the same page.
– CJ
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash
The post How to Listen appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
As a father, boss and corporate advisor, starting every conversation with a blank slate is extremely difficult for me. I’m often under the impression that people expect me to come to every conversation with the answers.
Join me in resisting this urge.
Try and approach every situation as though you have no idea what the other person expects.
Start off the interaction with a sense of curiosity.
– CJ
Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash
The post Start with a Blank Slate appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
As a leader, embracing differences is imperative. My son is a senior in high school, and it’s hard for me not to look at the next 10 years of his life and lay out the “perfect” career/life path.
It’s almost like an experiment to create a mini-me.
But, the important truth I remind myself daily is that he is a unique individual and will chart out his own distinct path, which might be the complete opposite of what I think he should consider.
It’s a jarring idea, especially when you’re considering your family and closest friends.
However, as leaders, it’s important that we help others achieve what’s important to them, regardless of our preferences.
Perhaps it’s time we try embracing our differences.
– CJ
P.S. Take The Achiever’s Compass for a personalized report complete with simple strategies to alleviate stress and enjoy your journey.
– CJ
Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash
The post Embrace Differences appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
As leaders, we assume that our direct reports want a career path like our own, filled with promotions, responsibilities and a bigger salary. We assume our friends like to do the same things, watch the same shows on TV and have the same expectations for their kids.
All this activity leads to a lot of effort, stress, frustration and maybe worst of all: sameness.
Perhaps we should consider the possibility that they’re nothing like us.
Perhaps we should consider being curious instead.
– CJ
Photo by Cristina Zaragoza on Unsplash
The post Our Obsession with Ourselves appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I hope you enjoy a very blessed holiday season! The post The Power of Gratitude appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The holidays can be hard. If you’re suffering from loss, uncertainty or depression, there are two things that I know to be true.
This feeling will pass. Ask yourself, “How do I get through the next hour?” If you want to take it a step further, find a way to focus on others. Helping others who need it the most will give you a sense of gratitude and purpose to help get you through this season.
This season will shape who you are. My experiences with anxiety and depression have given me a greater sense of who is important in my life. I live with a greater sense of purpose and generosity that I wouldn’t have had without those dark times in my life.
As difficult as it is, there is a silver lining, and it will get better.
— CJ
The post Two Truths About Depression appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
The key to winning is the know what it is you’re actually competing for. CJ McClanahan explains what it means to be an overachiever, and how to break the addictive cycle of more recognition, more acquisition, and more achievement.
Listen to the full interview with Brandon Eastman from The Be Better Broadcast.
The post How to win the achievement game appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
How do we compete without sacrificing our relationships? CJ McClanahan shares how we can harness our drive to compete and be better without sacrificing our sense of well-being and purpose.
Listen to the full interview with Brandon Eastman from The Be Better Broadcast.
The post How to Compete with a Healthy Mindset appeared first on CJ McClanahan.
I love giving… but not Giving Tuesday. Confession 1: I love giving. In fact, for the last decade, I’ve argued that the best way to enjoy your life is to give generously.
Confession 2: Giving Tuesday is my least favorite holiday of the whole year.
So why do I have so much angst with a day that’s got “Giving” in the title?
Here’s my issue…
On the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving, every 501c3 on the planet bombards every email address/social media account with a well-meaning plea for funds.
Potential donors (you and me) drown in these messages until the feeling of guilt wins out. We pull out a credit card and make a nominal donation to a charitable organization we know very little about.
It doesn’t move the needle for the organization or for our own sense of peace, joy, or satisfaction.
Here’s a different approach:
- Identify one non-profit that is making a difference on a topic that you (and your family) care deeply about. This might take some trial and error – be patient.
- Contact them and offer to support them with both time and money. Then, commit a full year to this one cause.
- Make sure that the amount of resources you donate is meaningful (some might say painful) to you.
These subtle changes will make a world of difference.
— CJ
The post My Giving Tuesday Confession appeared first on CJ McClanahan.