Did you know that the Bible has a lot to tell us about choosing our friends? Certainly we all are influenced by the circle of close friends we have around us. Does your circle of friends encourage your walk with God or do they drag you down?

Proverbs 12:26 says: "The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."  What does it mean to be cautious in friendship?  Well, let me give you some examples.

Suppose you have a co-worker who seems to really like you and wants to have lunch with you often, stops to talk with you frequently, and so forth. She is very friendly and pleasant, but you know pretty quickly that she is not a believer, just by the way she talks and by her lifestyle. Nevertheless, she pursues a friendship with you, and initiates invitations for further time together.

But you notice that when you're with her, she often tells off-color stories, or laughs about things that aren't exactly upright. She has a totally different set of moral values from you and what interests her is of little or no interest to you. In fact, you find that at best the conversation is frivolous and shallow. Perhaps you've tried on several occasions to talk about the Lord or about your faith, but it doesn't seem to get anywhere.

Is that a friendship you want to keep pursuing?  I believe being cautious in friendship would mean to carefully and gently back away from spending considerable time with this person, since you're not able to influence her, but are instead forced to listen to things either inappropriate or inconsequential. That is not an edifying relationship.

Here’s another biblical principle from Proverbs 22:24-25: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared."  That's pretty clear advice, isn't it?  Someone who is not self-controlled, who is angry a lot, negative often, and quick-on-the-trigger is a person who will drag you down. Got any close friends like that?  I think this biblical directive would say, "Back off."

Maybe you're thinking, "But Mary, these people are not friends, they're family members and I can't avoid them." It's true that avoiding family relationships is neither feasible nor desirable, but we still must be careful not to allow those relationships to drag us down spiritually.