Hill of Content Bookshop, Melbourne

Before I became self-employed, I worked shifts at a local independent bookshop. I took down a few notes during my time there and came up with a list of guidelines, if you will, that will make your bookshop visits more pleasant.

1: Standing in the middle of isles is an invitation for thousands of “excuse mes” if not a few angry shoves. Safe zones are located near the corners of the shelves.

2: Please do not put a book back on the shelf if you’re unsure where you got it from. The last time I checked, someone left Lolita under YA and Star Wars novels under biographies. Leave the book on a bench or on the trolley. It will make recovery easier.

3: Keep kids under supervision at all times. They are the definition of chaos. It typically takes us three days to recover a section of the store raided by kids. So, please.

4: Hearing about a book “from the radio” and knowing it has a blue cover don’t make it easier for us to find the book.

5: If you can’t reach a book from the top shelf, please grab a staff member. The climb is not worth the risk.

6: If a book is not on the shelf, it’s probably not in stock. As independent bookshops, the stock typically goes out ASAP. There’s nothing “at the back” of the store.

7: When placing an order, please make sure your name and your number are written in a way intelligible to a 4th grader. Otherwise, don’t get angry at us for butchering your name or ordering the book for the wrong person altogether.

8: If you have heard nothing from us about an order, it means the book hasn’t arrived yet. Incessant calling won’t magically materialize your book.

9: Calling to see if the store’s open is a very 1970s thing to do.

10: When you’re in line for checkout, please refrain from further browsing. It puts us in a very awkward position and it holds up the line.