There are so many ways to be a good ally, and also a lot of ways to fail at it. I think the most impor­tant stan­dard to meet is whether the com­mu­ni­ty you claim to be an ally to con­sid­ers you an ally; because ​‘ally’ should not be a word we bestow on our­selves. Per­son­al­ly, I love Wil Wheaton’s sweet mes­sage to queer fans and think his pride in being part of many young gay men’s jour­neys could qual­i­fy him as a good ally- assum­ing that view car­ries over to his actions in oth­er parts of his life. How­ev­er, I am more skep­ti­cal about John Bar­row­man and his repeat­ed fail­ure to take action on the feed­back from trans and queer fans who have warned him about his behav­iour harm­ing the trans community.

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