Disappointed not to see Amazon take the opportunity to increase its executive diversity with its new CEO.

A big thanks to this week’s sponsors: * Foghorn Consulting, which provides full-stack cloud solutions with a focus on strategy, planning and execution for enterprises seeking to take advantage of the transformative capabilities of AWS, Google Cloud and Azure.

This week’s highlights * 🚨 If Amazon was the royal family, this would be like Harry becoming King. * 🚨 Google found slugs in its lettuce and is not happy about it. * 🚨 Azure wants to shut The Cloud Pod up for good this time.

General News: Nothing Spicy * ☁️ Sysdig is releasing unified cloud and container security with the launch of Unified Threat detection across AWS cloud and containers. Interesting that it uses Cloud Custodian.

Amazon Web Services: No Longer Hiring * 🤯 Tableau CEO Adam Selipsky will return to Amazon Web Services as CEO. We did not see this coming. * 👂 Introducing Amazon S3 Object Lambda. They listened to us!

Google Cloud Platform: Slurm It Up * 👎 Google Cloud caps sales commissions as losses mount. This will remove the motivation to go after smaller deals. * 😊 Google announces a new method of obtaining Compute Engine instances for batch processing. We thought it was attacking our workloads but it actually wasn’t — our bad. * 🥔 Google is announcing the preview of its Network Connectivity Center. No potatoes, thankfully. * 🐌 Announcing the newest set of features for Slurm running on Google Cloud. Worst name ever. * 🦹‍♀️ Google announces A2 VMs are now generally available with the largest GPU cloud instances with NVIDIA A100 GPUs. Is this the computer version of scalping tickets? * 🤷 Google announces high-bandwidth network configurations for General Purpose N2 and Compute Optimized C2 Compute Engine VM families. We’d love to know what the technology is behind this.

Azure: Not Happy With The Cloud Pod * 🌎 Azure announces plans to expand the Azure Availability Zones to more regions. We’ll take credit for this one.

TCP Lightning Round ⚡ After a large amount of debate about who should win, Jonathan takes this week’s point, leaving scores at Justin (3), Ryan (3), Jonathan (5). Other headlines mentioned: