🔥 Fasting for children before bar/bat mitzvah (major vs minor fasts)

– The common idea that a child must fast three fast days before bar/bat mitzvah is described as a myth; there is no such halachic requirement.

– Yom Kippur: Shulchan Aruch rules that a healthy child should fast two Yom Kippurs before bar/bat mitzvah (e.g., a boy may already have to fast from age 11 if he is healthy).

– Training pattern (for healthy children) as cited from Rav Schachter:

– 2 years before bar/bat mitzvah: fast the entire Yom Kippur.

– Previous 2 years before that: fast half-day on Yom Kippur.

– Before that age: no fasting at all.

– Minor fasts (e.g., Tisha B’Av, 10 Teves, 17 Tammuz, Taanis Esther): no fasting requirement for children at all.

– This applies equally to boys and girls, adjusted to their respective bar/bat mitzvah ages and health.

🎲 Gambling for money “just for fun” (Asmachta, gezel, addiction, communal practice)

– The Gemara discusses mesachek b’kuvia (gambling) and whether gamblers are invalid as witnesses. Two main approaches:

– Gezel derabbanan / Asmachta: the loser never fully intended to part with the money; gambling becomes a form of rabbinic theft. On this view, even occasional gambling is problematic.

– Eino osek b’yishuvo shel olam: the gambler contributes nothing productive to society; invalid as an eid only if he does this as his main occupation. Occasional gambling would not invalidate eidus on this view.

– Rambam writes that a person should spend his entire life involved in constructive, beneficial pursuits and chochmah; that ethos pushes strongly against recreational gambling, especially when it can become habitual.

– Gambling is characterized as highly addictive and often destructive to families and finances.

– Expert statistic mentioned: in forms of gambling with instant payoff / instant “rush”, about ~29% of people may develop an addiction.

– Addicted gamblers can incur hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, sometimes even as kids/young adults.

– Since it is often impossible to know in advance who will become addicted, the recommended approach is to avoid gambling altogether, even “occasional” or “for fun.”

– Communal practice critique:

– Jewish organizations that run “casino nights” are described as misreading the communal reality, given the level of gambling addiction among teens in both right-wing and modern Orthodox schools.

– It is suggested to object to such events and question their appropriateness and leadership judgment.

🕯️ Benefiting from Chanukah candlelight via photography / monetizing images

– The prohibition “haneros halalu kodesh hem” forbids using the light of the Chanukah candles for personal benefit (e.g., reading or working by that light).

– Taking photos or videos of lit Chanukah candles, and selling or monetizing those images, is presented as not a violation of this prohibition:

– The benefit is not from the physical illumination to see by, but from the image/representation being used to publicize the mitzvah (pirsumei nisa), which is in line with the purpose of the candles.

– Additional leniencies:

– After the required burning time (approx. 30 minutes), leftover oil/wax no longer has the same restrictions; benefiting from that light is permitted.

– A shamash candle provides heter to use the general light in the room, even if Chanukah lights contribute.

– Overall, using Chanukah candles as a background or prop for pictures, even monetized, is treated as permissible.

🕯️🕍 Public menorah lightings with a beracha outside of shul (offices, concerts, events)

– Lighting in shul with a beracha is a long-established, special minhag, and even that practice required significant effort by Rishonim/Acharonim to justify.

– Many poskim strongly oppose extending this minhag to other public spaces (offices, concerts, lobbies, etc.) with a beracha:

– Minchas Yitzchak: emphasizes how much effort went into justifying shul lighting; considers further extension (e.g., “at a gathering”) to be beyond what Chazal intended.

– Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Rav Wosner, and the Klausenberger Rebbe: similarly resist adding new berachot on lightings in non-shul public places; view it as unauthorized innovation and part of a trend of “doing whatever seems right” in mitzvos.

– Rav Ovadia Yosef (Yabia Omer) summarizes:

– Notes many authorities who are stringent.

– Cites Mishnas Yaakov, who is lenient because large public gatherings may generate greater pirsumei nisa than shul.

– Concludes that in a large communal gathering, one can rely on the lenient opinions to make a beracha, but it is preferable to also daven Ma’ariv there so the lighting resembles the shul context.

– Key conditions for shul lighting that are often ignored at public events:

– Requires a minyan present.

– Lighting should be within the framework of tefillah (e.g., between Mincha and Ma’ariv, or before Aleinu on Motzaei Shabbos) — not after davening is over and everyone has left.

– Chabad practice:

– Widely conducts public menorah lightings with berachot outside of shuls, relying heavily on pirsumei nisa as the core rationale and extending the shul-minhag logic to any major public display.

– This approach is not accepted by many other poskim.

🍪 Cutting letters / shapes on food on Shabbos (Oreos, cakes, cookies)

– Rama (Orach Chaim 340) forbids cutting letters on food, e.g., slicing a decorated cake such that letters are cut or erased.

– Later poskim discuss ways to avoid the problem:

– Cutting between letters.

– Removing the letters with a thin layer of frosting.

– Cutting the cake before Shabbos.

– Biting letters:

– Mishnah Berurah allows biting into letters on cakes or cookies.

– Chazon Ish views this as a double derabbanan (shinui, and no intent to erase) and is stricter, but the mainstream psak follows Mishnah Berurah that eating/biting is permitted.

– Possible reasoning: erasing is defined as removing writing from a surface that remains, but when devouring the entire surface (e.g., mouth), it does not constitute classic mochek.

– Items like Oreos or tea biscuits, where the writing or design is embossed into the dough:

– Mishnah Berurah explicitly allows breaking such cookies, not only biting them.

– The text/design is part of the structure of the food, not “ink” or frosting on top.

– Similarly, cutting a cake shaped like a figure (e.g., a letter-shaped cake, or a shaped object) is treated as permissible according to many.

🤝 Hugging female relatives (aunts, sisters, etc.) when becoming more observant

– Halachic baseline:

– Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer) and many poskim hold that affectionate touching (chibuk venishuk) of arayot (forbidden relations) is an issur d’oraita, following the Ramban and Shulchan Aruch HaRav.

– Non-affectionate touch (negi’ah shelo b’derech ta’ava) is treated more leniently; the Shach permits certain forms.

– Age thresholds:

– Mishnah Berurah (Biur Halacha) suggests the issur of affectionate negi’ah begins around age 3 for a girl.

– Chazon Ish places practical concern a bit later, when the child is more physically mature.

– Sources on close relatives:

– Gemara Shabbos 13a: Ulla reportedly kissed his sisters, despite holding that such behavior is generally prohibited; Tosafos explains that he was a unique tzaddik with zero ta’iva.

– Rambam (Issurei Biah 21:6): says that kissing a sister or aunt even without ta’iva is a “davar meguneh” and “davar asur”, presenting more stringent language. Some suggest “davar asur” here may be strong ethical censure, not necessarily formal issur, but it is clearly rejected behavior.

– Contemporary guidance:

– R’ Menashe Klein suggests there might be room for leniency in limited kavod habriyot situations where touch is clearly not derech ta’iva, but this is not a blanket heter.

– He also criticizes breaking a shidduch solely because a girl hugs her brothers; calls such an approach extreme and improper, while still not fully endorsing the behavior.

– Practical relational advice:

– Where one is changing practice (e.g., a man stops hugging female relatives): instead of repeated awkward avoidance, it is often better to have one difficult, honest conversation explaining that:

– You are trying to keep halacha more strictly.

– You respect them and are not judging them.

– You ask them to respect your boundaries just as you respect theirs.

– Relatives may initially be hurt or upset, but over time often adjust; this is framed as a normal part of “growing pains” in relationships.

🧼 Removing stains from clothing on Shabbos (kibus/melaben, dust vs mud, practical options)

– Key melachot:

– Melaben / kibbus (laundering) includes scrubbing, removing dirt, or improving the cleanliness/appearance of garments.

– Shulchan Aruch vs Rama on dust:

– Shulchan Aruch: removing embedded dust from a garment is permitted.

– Rama: forbids removing embedded dust because it resembles laundering.

– Removing mud/stains:

– Shulchan Aruch: scrubbing mud off by rubbing parts of the garment against each other is assur, even without water, because it improves the appearance and is a form of kibbus.

– Mishnah Berurah: clarifies that the issue is enhancing the garment’s appearance, not only use of water.

– Difference between “thickness” of a stain and the embedded portion:

– If part of the stain sits on top of the fabric (e.g., a dried piece of food stuck on):

– Removing the chunk is like removing a feather from a garment and is generally permitted.

– The deep, embedded discoloration is more like dust/mud absorbed into fibers and is subject to the melaben concerns.

– According to Shulchan Aruch (lenient on dust):

– You may lightly peel away the top layer of a stain with a fingernail if the garment will still look stained afterward (no beautification achieved).

– But scrubbing the fabric against itself to remove more of the stain is forbidden.

– According to Rama (stricter):

– Needs reconciliation: he forbids removal of embedded dust but yet allows some limited peeling of stains.

– Practical upshot from Mishnah Berurah / Biur Halacha and other Acharonim:

– Two cases where limited removal is allowed:

1. After removing the visible thickness, the stain is still clearly visible, so the garment is not really “cleaned.”

2. It is a stain that does not bother you at all, and you would wear it during the week in that condition; removing a bit is then like removing dust that doesn’t truly “improve” the garment by your standards.

– Removing a deeply embedded stain to beautify the garment is forbidden.

– Water usage:

– Using water on a stain on clothing is almost always forbidden on Shabbos (direct kibbus).

– Best practical solution:

– If a garment gets stained on Shabbos:

– Change into another garment and send the stained one to the cleaners after Shabbos.

– Only remove obvious surface solids (e.g., a kernel, chunk, feather) that are fully on top and not embedded.

📜 Standing vs sitting when Aron is open, Torah in motion, Simchas Torah, women’s practices

– Gemara Makos 22b: criticizes Bavliim who stand for a Sefer Torah but not for talmidei chachamim.

– Gemara Kiddushin 33b: uses a kal vachomer: if one stands for a Sefer Torah, all the more so for a Torah scholar.

– Rishonim reconcile:

– In pure logic, there is great reason to stand for the Torah itself, but the explicit pasuk is about standing for talmidei chachamim.

– Thus, ignoring the explicit chiyuv for scholars while standing for the Sefer Torah is treated as foolish.

– Halacha on Sefer Torah:

– When a Sefer Torah is moving (being carried to/from the aron, being held or danced with): there is a clear obligation to stand.

– Standing when the Aron Kodesh is open but Torah not moving:

– Taz (cited by Rav Moshe Feinstein):

– There is no formal chiyuv to stand just because the aron is open, but it became a minhag as a sign of extra honor.

– Common custom: stand when the Aron is opened for Avinu Malkeinu, Shir HaKavod, Aneinu, etc.

– Rav Moshe: questions whether this minhag is binding as halacha:

– Once something is made mandatory, it may lose the voluntary affection that gave it meaning.

– If one cannot maintain kavana while standing (e.g., long “Aleinu L’Shabeach” on Yamim Noraim, or lengthy piyutim), it may be better to sit rather than stand robotically.

– In communities where standing is difficult (e.g., elderly congregations), one eitzah is to open the aron less than three tefachim (lavud), so technically it is still “closed” halachically, while symbolically appearing open.

– Holding a Sefer Torah while others stand (e.g., Mi Shebeirach for soldiers):

– The one holding the Torah should remain seated, since standing for anything else is not considered greater honor than the Torah.

– Women sitting when Torah is danced, especially on Simchas Torah:

– If women are in a separate ezras nashim behind a mechitzah, many poskim view that as a separate domain, so they have no obligation to stand for the Torah movement in the men’s section.

– Some Hasidic setups use tables or partitions as broader barriers; people behind them are sometimes treated like being in a separate space.

– Additionally, there is practical recognition that a multi-hour hakafos with constant standing is not feasible; the priority is respecting the Torah, but leniencies exist when distance or partitions are in place.

💬 Talking idle talk (sichat betela) in the Beis Midrash vs not learning there at all

– Halachic concern:

– A Beis Midrash has intrinsic kedushah, and idle talk is formally inappropriate. The question: should one avoid the Beis Midrash entirely if they know they will likely end up schmoozing?

– Aruch HaShulchan’s approach:

– Notes that people do engage in some level of casual conversation in Batei Midrash, and this has become a reality over generations.

– Explains that many shuls/Beis Midrashos are built with an implicit tenai that permits certain non-ideal uses (eating, meeting, some talking) bimakom tzorech.

– Tzorech here includes the real social need for people to connect with peers of similar values, especially if most of their day is spent in secular work environments.

– Distinction from talking during davening:

– The leniencies for Beis Midrash talk do not justify talking during tefillah in shul, which is halachically and ethically more serious.

– The suggested practical balance:

– One should absolutely learn in a Beis Midrash; the theoretical worry “I might talk” should not prevent learning, nor overturn long-standing practice.

– It is good to limit idle chatter and aim to make conversations more Torah-centered when possible.

– A useful strategy is to come armed with a Torah question or idea (e.g., a question from R’ Akiva Eiger, a sugya, something on the parsha) to share with people you meet, keeping interactions meaningful while still being friendly.

– Nonetheless, small-talk and concern for others (asking about family, health, etc.) is acknowledged as having real value and not something to be eliminated, only moderated.

⛄ Snow on Shabbos: building a snowman, snow as muktzah, related melacha issues

– Is snow muktzah?

– Mishnah Berurah and Shulchan Aruch HaRav: rainwater is not muktzah; by extension they treat snow similarly as non-muktzah.

– Rav Moshe Feinstein (as reported in R’ Eider and Igros Moshe vol. 8): considered snow to be muktzah, possibly as nolad (newly formed item on Shabbos).

– There is some oral testimony that Rav Moshe may have at times ruled differently in practice than what appears in Igros Moshe on certain matters, but for formal psak, the printed responsa remain significant.

– Even if we follow the opinion that snow is not muktzah, there is another problem:

– Gathering and shaping snow (loose flakes) into a snowball or snowman is viewed as a form of boneh (building/forming a solid) or memare’ach (smoothing), or dachak (compressing), which are prohibited on Shabbos.

– Combining scattered material to make a cohesive, formed structure fits classic definitions of boneh in poskim.

– Therefore, building a snowman on Shabbos is prohibited even according to opinions that do not treat snow as muktzah.

– Related practical shaila briefly mentioned: snow shoveling business

– A Jewish owner employs non-Jews to remove snow whenever it falls, being paid per job, with the owner taking a percentage.

– Payment for Shabbos work must typically be “havla’ah” (rolled into a broader, non-Shabbos service) to avoid s’char Shabbos.

– Rav Willig’s ruling:

– Since the business owner invested in equipment (plows, shovels, etc.), the remuneration can be viewed as payment for use of capital plus overall service, not just for the Shabbos hours; this can constitute havla’ah, making receiving that cut permissible.

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