Wrong Bone Facts: Recent Episodes
Jolene
This podcast has been completed! Thank you so much for listening!
What do you know about bones? Or better yet, what don't you know about bones? What don't you not know about bones? These questions and more may or may not be answered in Wrong Bone Facts. RBF is a podcast dedicated to incorrect facts about everyone's favorite part of many animals (and possibly some plants, as far as I know.)
In this episode, Jolene deals with property damage and a request from a friend.
Masque does some awesome art! Check it out:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/masquethemasque
Deviantart: https://deviantart.com/vonmasque
That's it, people. Three hundred and sixty degrees of bones. Here's an episode about ecological imbalance!
The secret to happiness is in this episode! And listening to it is free! Are you lucky?
It's also really dark inside most bodies, so it's no wonder this horrific bone fact hasn't...
seen the light of day!
The problem with this method is that it's pretty illegal to obtain a femur and just keep it on you all the time.
Surprisingly, following this Wrong Bone Fact's advice won't put you in any immediate danger.
Are you ready for a wild and exciting bone fact today? No? Well, that's good. Today's episode is pretty boring, actually.
In this episode, Jolene was so sure that she had done a bone fact about cameras before, and then there wasn't one, so she recorded it, and this story is a lot less interesting than she thought it would originally be.
Scientists worked out this one by noticing that one half of the human body glowed more than the other half.
Chainbone doesn't protect Porter well from arrows or bruises, but it does help against slashing.
You won't be rockin' and a-rollin' for long if you listen to the advice in this podcast.
In this episode, Jolene's friend Aurora teaches us all a little bit about movies, life on other planets, and how to wear bones.
Aurora is making some pretty awesome content! You can find their tabletop games and videos in the links provided below.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/aurorabarksdale
Website: https://aurorabarksdale.com
They don't pay Jolene in peanuts for these primo bone facts!
(They don't pay Jolene at all...)
Just like the classic story! Who will come out first? You will, lucky listener, from listening to the coolest podcast in the world!
In this episode, Jolene talks about upcoming science. Bone liquid science. It's pretty gross. Maybe skip this episode? (Don't actually skip this episode.)
Jolene has in her notes that she "can get a little political" with this podcast, and in this episode, she gets snarky at corporations.
Honestly, the title of this one is probably the best part of the episode. It's a pun with alliteration--what more could you want?
Actual, Serious Content Warning: This is a fictional comedy podcast, but this episode might be a little scary because there's definitely some torture in here. Jolene does not have a dungeon. Her apartment is way too small for anything like that.
In this episode, Jolene "enlists" her friend Aurora for a fascinating look behind the scenes at Wrong Bone Facts. A good time is had by all.
Aurora is making some pretty awesome content! You can find their tabletop games and videos in the links provided below. And because they lived, you can expect to see them making an appearance in a guest episode before too long.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/aurorabarksdale
Website: https://aurorabarksdale.com
Eat those bones, so you can be healthy enough to eat more bones! It's the circle of life.
Thankfully, skeletons are generally resistant to being pierced by sharp objects, on account of all the blank space in them.
Bones make life worth living.
In this episode, Jolene makes a really strained reference to Discworld, and still manages to be completely incorrect.
She may not really be super feeling it today, but Jolene sure can put out a terrifying bone fact moments before she falls asleep at night.
You could say that, spiritually speaking, the "me" bone... is connected to the "you" bone.
In this episode, Jolene goes to the movies! Okay, not really. She just wrote this fact and was like, "oh, that's a fun coincidence."
This is a rare bone fact in that it could be rendered correct, if some super-fan decides to make an Office of Anatomical Affairs and a manual.
Yes, Jolene wrote the extra music in this one. No, it wasn't written for Wrong Bone Facts. What's wrong with a little multitasking?
Unrelated, this intro idea was sitting in the drafts file since like episode 30. Backlog be gone!
If you're upset that this podcast has conflicting information about bones, please read the title again and get back to Jolene when you've worked it out.
Give 'em the ol' bone twist!
This is a very misleading title, but that hasn't stopped Jolene before.
It's not that the game was dangerous... it was just boring, and required you to collect your own bones.
It wasn't exactly a thrilling read, but then again, this isn't exactly a thrilling podcast!
Uh, actually, disregard that.
BEEP BEEP BOP BOOP BEEP BOOP BOP BEEP. tweee tweEEEshaaaaaaa. eeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah B'DONG B'DONG SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This bone fact is sponsored by every bank ever, and you should definitely see what happens when you bring your human skulls into a bank.
Some bone facts should not be repeated at home. This is one of those episodes. DON'T TRY TO SWALLOW BONES.
This is another episode that Jolene had to rerecord more times than she can count because she couldn't stop laughing at "Mr. Dracula."
This bone fact is pretty close to being true, but it's also one you can't possibly test for... so, there we go!
Listen... just, trust Wrong Bone Facts on this one. The fact might be incorrect, but beware!
In today's episode, Jolene invites her friend Hannah along to win a future Tony for Best Musical. They've got this in the bag!
You can find Hannah in a few places! Jolene has already blabbed on about Ghosts on a Train like a million times, but she also does listen to Gleewatch as well, and it's really chill. Do you remember the television series Glee? Jolene tries not to. But Hannah and her co-host Sam are going through it episode by episode and providing hilarious commentary and insight into the thousands of plotholes that make up the series. This also gives Hannah the distinct and unique honor of being in two podcasts that have caused Jolene to cry! Give them both a listen and a review!
Twitter: @Imtired81
Gleewatch: https://linktr.ee/gleewatch
Ghosts on a Train: https://linktr.ee/ghosts_train
There's no business like bone business! (Yikes, actually; that's a weird thing to say.)
How do YOU celebrate the summer and beat the heat? Jolene does it by ruining your pool.
Bones and kidneys interact in a few specific ways! In today's episode, we explore this.
Honestly, this episode title would have gone much better for Episode 119, but alas, past Jolene was not as proficient with her titles as she is now.
The first reference was intentional. The second one... not so obvious and very unintentional. Oh well! That's Wrong Bone Facts for you!
Jolene may not have a secret recipe, but she does know the secret to a successful podcast!
(Note: Wrong Bone Facts has nothing to do with this secret.)
Did you know five pounds of bones is heavier than five pounds of butter? It's only those two things that work like this. (Jolene is mad that she didn't use this as the actual fact in this episode now.)
In this episode, Jolene's microphone gets hijacked, and she has to deal with an unwanted guest wrought from her own bone fact.
(Disclaimer: This fact is still incorrect, because Jolene left the bones on the second shelf, on the right. Subtle!)
Listen to Ghosts on a Train: https://linktr.ee/ghosts_train
In this episode, Jolene does not know what season it is. She's delirious from the heat in her apartment. Isn't that great?
This podcast jams! No one knows what this means and no one will be getting any context.
Sorry for the fake-out at the beginning. If it scared anyone, please e-mail Jolene and tell her she's great (unrelated, but true).
Does Jolene swear to the tell the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth?
Obviously not! What kind of show do you think this is?!
Muffin skeletons, yikes!
This is why Jolene doesn't usually write, record, and produce episodes right at 6:00 AM.
In this episode, Jolene reveals some startling revelations about bones, that likely aren't true. Business as usual? Hardly!
(Just kidding. This is a normal episode.)
Because she's a true audio recording professional, Jolene drank a whole bunch of soup broth before recording this episode, and so her voice is all wonky. Don't forgive her, or she'll never learn.
Humans can listen too, but come on... Wrong BONE Facts? Who did you THINK was the target audience?
In this episode, Jolene invites her friend Stefen to join her, and working together, they somehow concoct the most horrifying bone fact on this show so far. Can it get worse than this? Yes, definitely! It's nice to have a guest episode again, after one hundred and ten(!) episodes without one!
Listen to Ghosts on a Train: https://linktr.ee/ghosts_train
Jolene double-checked her math on this one, and got two vastly different, incredibly incorrect answers, so we just told her to use the biggest number she could think of.
The title for this one is pretty rough, but that's fine. The episode itself is a real winner!
Wait, it's not? Someone get Jolene on the phone.
The Big Red Snake isn't big or red, but it IS sponsored by a particular brand of chewing gum, and that's how it gets its name.
Hey, maybe Jolene could start Wrong Snake Facts!
Jolene regularly has to deal with eyelashes getting in her eye, or mascara wands, or on occasion, entire bones.
Whew! After a mind-bogglingly long episode, Jolene decides to relax a bit and just get back to what she does best--cranking out facts about bones as best as she can with the spoons she has available.
Wow, it's been 200 facts about bones! To mark the occasion, Jolene invites her friends Helena, Julia, Mel, and Monique to join her in playing a terrible game of Dungeons and Dragons. She's not exactly the best dungeon master, but she certainly... does... have... bones.
Special thanks to Kelsey for the incredible monster scream in the intro.
Mel:
https://twitter.com/wizardcatpants
Helena:
https://www.tiktok.com/@helenatacy
https://twitter.com/HelenaTacy
If you want to know what the Bone Curse is, just ask Jolene. She's been dealing with it for some time now.
Jolene famously dislikes almost anything with tomatoes in it. Does that mean she dislikes this podcast now? Will our host give up her glamorous career of "terrible podcast host" over something as simple as a joke?
Ask her, and she might just throw a shoe at you!
It may be quaint, but it's also... great!
(Jolene suggested this and was excited about it rhyming. A few days have passed, and... well, it doesn't, so... sorry.)
Did you notice anything odd about this episode? Do... do you like it better? Let Jolene know on Twitter!
(Also, let her know she's pretty, because she's incredibly vain.)
Anyways, welcome to Season 2 of Wrong Bone Facts! Same exact show, slightly better audio. I'm very excited to bring you more wild ideas for the next season!
It was really warm in Jolene's apartment, so she had to open the windows. And because of this, she had to run noise reduction on some parts to account for traffic. In conclusion, if it sounds bad, it's her fault.
It's not that these facts are top-secret--it's more that they're just very nicely sorted.
Oooh, two creepy crawlies in two days! Sorry about this, folks! It was an oversight, I'm sure.
If you'd like to attend a live taping of Wrong Bone Facts, here's Jolene's full address:
If you had been asking yourself "what's Jolene got planned for the April Fool's Day episode?", the answer is "nothing." Instead, she decided to talk like a cattle-rustler-slash-old-timey-prospector and probably annoyed her neighbors.
Hypothermia is also a terrible name for a pet! That's actually a good, true fact, though.
Doo doo doo doo! Scientists are still working out a solution to today's fact. It's complicated, and the best theories currently involve very large nets.
Look... we can't all know everything about bones. Even when our job is to literally make things up about them!
In this episode, Jolene once again proves she is not a doctor by delivering a bone fact so incorrect that you'll sigh in frustration if you DO have a medical degree!
Can't wait to watch a 45 second play on broadway that's just a cute girl who wanders in, sings a fact about bones, and then the curtain closes!
See, Jolene enjoys talking about bones, but... she thinks wizards may, in fact, be funnier. If you're a skeleton wizard, you're just the best darn thing on the planet!
Jolene is a very tired girl and this is the best she can do for right now. So what if she had to look at her keyboard for inspiration? Have YOU ever come up with 151 different facts about bones? Where's YOUR "Incorrect Body Parts Information" podcast, HUH???
(just kidding listener--our darling host loves and appreciates you!)
Ooof, that's a heck of a pun in the title. In this episode, we learn a fun fact about the Louvre! That place actually exists! Wow!
Honestly, if episode 43 were presented as new, would you recognize it? Jolene probably wouldn't.
Gosh! One hundred and fifty episodes, huh? That's a bunch. Have a fun intro that Jolene cooked up!
There's no skeletons on the RBF homepage. (Also, there's no RBF homepage.) But the twitter feed looks like a graveyard sometimes!
Intro theme (from "The Twilight Zone") arranged and parodied by Jolene and written by the late Marius Constant.
Your skeleton simply wants to let you live your best life. Why not let it do as it pleases?
Honestly, Jolene wants to talk more about Skeletopia, the Land of Bones, but she had to take a vow of secrecy to be able to see it herself.
The very technological process of merging two bones together is something of a marvel of nature. In today's episode, Jolene teaches you how to do it yourself at home!
In today's episode, Jolene does the unthinkable--makes up a fact about a bone that she made up.
Okay, this episode feels a little dated. Jolene grew up with tons of these things so they're almost literally in her blood by now.
This episode is not about burgers made of bones. That would be ridiculous... or would it?
Jolene doesn't normally know what she's doing, but when she tries to record an episode with no script and one take... the results get confusing.
In today's episode, Jolene is not advocating for this method of creating artificial bones.
Bones are a great substitute for sand or gravel in case you get stuck in a hole or on the ice! You always have some extra bones handy.
Jolene has a written message for you all! Here it is:
"Hey guys, thanks for listening to what I think is my podcast? At least, that's what I'm told is being made. Could someone confirm with me that Wrong Bone Facts actually exists? If it doesn't, I need to make some calls."
Ha! Isn't she a kidder?
And Jolene, never truthful, still recording, still recording
On the pallid computer chair just beside her chamber door;
And her eyes have all the seeming of a skull’s that is lying,
And the lamp-light o’er her recording throws her podcast on the floor;
And her facts from out that podcast that lies floating on the floor
Shall be wrong—forevermore!
Jolene's original fact used The Beatles, but then she realized that if she didn't use them, she could make up her own band name, and she's only really ever been able to do that a few times in the past.
Everyone has a fear or a weakness. Sherlock Holmes, the fictional character, had his. Jolene despises [redacted] herself!
Real talk: most of the intro bits for RBF are just goofs, but for this one, it's worth mentioning that there are almost CERTAINLY podcasts that bring out the ire of the WHO. Wear a mask and get vaccines, people!
Skeleton is totally a sport, and it does sorta look like you could break some bones very easily while trying it.
This doesn't mean babies are tough. They're actually quite fragile. Be careful with babies! This is Wrong Bone Facts, not Terrible Parenting Tips.
Eel anatomy is confusing and not worth learning, unless you want to be an eelologist I suppose.
Breakfast cereal is a lucrative market, until the inevitable lawsuits come in. Thankfully, this is just a podcast!
Jolene is not a financial expert by any means. That being said, be careful about burying bear bones in your backyard for safekeeping.
Nothing is tougher than a bone. Not steel. Not diamonds. Not stones, wood, dirt, iron, gold, or any other thing you might find in Minecraft.
What's that? You want to know how you can break a bone if nothing's tougher than it? Good question! Jolene says the answer to that questions is "I don't know."
Stuck, OK, is a dangerous place to be. Between the horrifying weather there and the Weird Dog infestation, you're better off just visiting through Google Earth.
Jolene breaks down the barrier between podcast hostess and machine when she interviews a real(?) live(?) VOCALOID, a digital synthesized voice with a big heart(?). If our fact-finder sounds scared of her new electronic pal, it's just that she doesn't want to be replaced with a digital version of herself.
VOCALOID Chris: https://vocadb.net/Ar/67102
Dan's Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-485174374
If you want to fact-check this one, why don't you go to the bottom of the sea and find out?
Uh, do NOT contact Jolene about the intro. It's hard enough to contain her normally, and she's REALLY not happy about this one.
It's also fairly rude to do this in any public building, to be fair. And if you actually start a bone fight? Well, then, you're in some trouble.
Jolene wanted to upload a blank audio file and see what happened, but something got... corrupted. Spooky!
(or perhaps she decided she didn't like the fact that she had originally written and made something odd up on the spot.)
Guess Who: Wrong Bone Facts Edition will probably never be published, so just be happy with this adorable little factoid.
Jolene honestly believes that there are tiny people in her body that make the whole thing work like a wild, wonderful machine. Is she wrong?
Of all of the bone facts so far, this is probably the one you should absolutely NEVER try at home.
Happy New Year! Jolene says she's resolving to live healthier, and to gather as many bones as she cans for her "secret project." Hm, actually, can someone check in on her? This sounds pretty sinister.
This episode was almost a real bone fact! And then she ruined it/saved it in the last moment. What an art form! Someone should give Jolene a podcasting reward.
Your guess was correct--Jolene had to make one eventually. This is it. If you don't want to hear about weird animal teeth, don't listen to this episode. It's labeled as such. You are brave and wonderful whether or not you listen to this episode. That being said... yikes, what the heck was she thinking???
Some of us have skeletons in our closets... but most of us have bones in the walls, and that's just something we all have to live with.
There's also a lovely gift shop, where you can buy not just regular bones, but your own bones! It's... honestly a little spooky.
Real bones tend not to look like bones in movies. It's odd, but who's to argue if it works or not?
Bone removal fluid is used for when you get bones stuck in places you don't want them--drains, ceiling fans, television sets...
This fact is not as scary as it sounds! In fact, precious bone slurry was once thought to be one of the five humours of the body.
Jolene recorded this at 1 AM so she had to be nice and quiet... and honestly, it kinda works! Maybe she'll do a collection of nice quiet bone facts to sleep to.
Inside every guest episode lies a yearning to be appreciated. Jolene invites her friend Guy to share his invaluable bone fact, and we all learn a valuable lesson about manners.
Listen to Ghosts on a Train: Anchor
Maybe I can get him to star in Wrong Bone Facts: The Movie? Though, I'm not sure people would pay full admission for a one minute-long movie.
This episode made Jolene quit. We had to find a new Jolene after we recorded it, and trust me, it wasn't easy. Thankfully, the new one has a few more bones.
The intro to this episode is just to prove to you, my lovely listeners, that I have some sort of emotional range to my voice acting.
Is this related to shark week? Is it currently shark week right now? What is shark week, even?
Wait, WHY did I name this episode this again? Oh, right, to make this fact a bit less creepy. Fantastic!
It's the last straw for Jolene when she invites our latest guest, Greg, onto the show. Listen, they're technically right, but no other guest is going to get away with this.
Check out Greg on Twitter: @gergcandlestick
Listen to Ghosts on a Train: https://linktr.ee/ghosts_train
Better late than never! I guess! Sometimes late IS too bad, though. Sigh! Some days, you just can't win.
Really, try not to lose your spine, though. The one you're born with has lots of great features.
This episode was delayed for two hours due to a shockingly unrelated noise complaint from the previous night. Don't worry--no one's complained about the quality of this podcast yet!
In the second of our guest episodes, Mel introduces us to the concept of bone food. Who says brains get all the good stuff?
Check out Mel on Twitter: @wizardcatpants
Olly's Grease Pot has non-bone recipes too. Definitely try their Pile of Salt and Cloves!
Whew!!! Finally, a normal-length episode. We're back in business, baby!
Remember to keep your bones slick!
Sometimes, Jolene wishes she could just name goofy characters for a living. Maybe some day, all the characters introduced here can drive around in a band together and solve Wrong Bone Crimes in a spinoff!
Be sure to listen to this whole episode for an important announcement! Unlike other episodes, this one is actually fairly serious.
The optional features that bones have end up being really useful!
The introduction to this episode features the voice talents of Greg, who can be found at @gergcandlestick on twitter. You should also absolutely check their stellar work as a GM on the role-playing game podcast, Ghosts on a Train, which features a bunch of great folks playing Ghost Lines! You can follow Ghosts on a Train on twitter too at @ghosts_train.
Music Credits: Noire #1 by Music by Pedro
https://youtu.be/84ANGsQS_7w
Some day, I'll stop associating Greg with Sad Jazz Men. Today is apparently not that day.
It's time to b-b-b-BONES! Seriously though, Bone Battles may be legal, but they're still dangerous. Make sure you're wearing a helmet.
Jolene has very, VERY strong feelings about Indiana Jones movies, and hopes to one day forget the experience of watching the fourth movie in theaters. This is the most personal bone fact ever!
This wrong bone fact is pretty short, but it also gets so much wrong in it that it really counts for like 6 or 7 episodes.
Unfortunately, bones will still maintain the sticky bug, but supposedly the QA people are on it.
In a few years, Jolene will report back and see if the side effects took place. The current hypothesis is that she'll have more bones.
Who said that bone facts can't be cultural? Heck, who says bone facts have to be correct!
Okay, actually, real talk--there was no research done this fact before-hand, so if ANYONE finds a recipe, please send it to Jolene immediately so she can delete this episode and cry lonely sad tears in the shower.
Technically speaking, this episode is a public service announcement!
No, wait, it's more of a public nuisance.
Jolene once accidentally changed her last name to Calculation and had to go by "Miss Calculation" for a week. It was funny for a day.
Podcast energy and song energy is practically the same, so doing a pun here makes perfect sense.
Remember to find time to chill and relax. Some people relax by juggling. Who knows how THAT works.
Podcasts are so relaxing, so Jolene tends to accidentally fall asleep when listening to them. There is nothing "relaxing" about bones, however!
Bonus wrong bone fact: the best golfer in the world, Beany North, has no bones! He golfs on pure intuition.
Just because it's called "bone meal" does NOT mean you should eat it. I think it gives you a disease?
Only part of this episode is about The Talk. Maybe.
OK, so, Jolene actually recorded an entirely different episode, and when she listened back to it, she was so put off by the original that she recorded this one quickly right afterwards instead. But, uh, this one may have turned out worse. This is the one you get, though. Aren't you lucky?
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but this podcast will continue to update every single day at 6 AM for some reason.
Listen, Jolene doesn't exactly have the best attention span for movies, and tends to misquote things. Just let her have this.
To hear more fake facts about birds, subscribe to my upcoming spin-off podcast: "Fake Bird Facts!"
Note: Jolene is not actually making "Fake Bird Facts. "
The current science says that a wrong bone fact and an anti-bone fact are technically the same. Weird!
This is one of those episodes that some folks will read the title and think, "Do I really need to listen to this one? I already know what the joke will be."
The answer is yes, you do need to listen to it.
What am I, some kind of dog? Wait... maybe I am. I do have a podcast about bones and all.
If you're in America, this episode will be releasing on what's likely going to be a very stressful morning. No jokes in this description--I hope this silly fake fact makes one minute of your morning a little brighter, no matter what happens.
Very sciency. Very cool. Stay tuned until the end of this one for a special message from Jolene.
Ok, rant time here. You know how everyone's always talking about those big bones? Well, maybe think about the small bones for once. Ya know. #school4thought
Ok, so, maybe Jolene left her window open when recording this one. Big deal! At least the bone fact is particularly... uncomfortable. Hm. Why do you listen to this again?
Join Jolene for about 12 seconds of new content. You guessed it: another wrong bone fact!
Jolene opens the curtains of possibility, shedding important light on what bones may have in store for us for years to come.
On today's episode, Jolene recruits a little help from her first guest on the show. Can her brother, Dan, bring some sort of relevance or usefulness to the topic of bone lies? Let's hope not!
Yarr! With Captain Jolene steerin' this here vessel, you'll sail through uncharted bone facts with ease!
Editor's note: This episode doesn't have anything to do with pirates. I'm so, so sorry.
In this sports-themed episode, Jolene really hits her field goal out of the park with this slam-dunk-hole-in-one-hockey-puck fact that isn't true at all!
Also, stay tuned until the very end for an important RBF announcement!
Bonus wrong bone fact: bones age at half the rate that your body does! It's the magic in the marrow.
Jolene's been feeling feelings a lot lately. She apologizes profusely for not remaining objective about our favorite calcified... wait, what are bones, anyways? Organs?
This episode is just really worth listening to. Really. Are you listening to the whole episode? Even the end piece that's the same every time? Why?
The start of the show! Join host Jolene as she shares important information about the most important thing in a living creature: the bones! None of these facts are true, but that won't stop our intrepid "expert" from saying them out loud.