Here’s the good news: Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem’s disastrous exchange Tuesday with Democratic Senator Maggie Hassan of New Hampshire got lots of news coverage.

If you missed it, Hassan asked Noem to define the writ of habeas corpus (the right of due process enshrined in the U.S. Constitution). Noem simply didn’t—and probably still doesn’t—know.

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She incorrectly answered by saying habeas corpus is “a right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country.” NO. That’s laughably untrue. Look, I don’t expect all Americans to know their basic civics, but we should all expect secretaries who oversee entire departments of the most powerful government on earth to know what is—and isn’t—in our own Constitution. Noem swore an oath to protect and defend it, for chrissakes!

So of course Noem’s idiotic answer made headlines. And any headline that cuts through the noise and chaos of Trump’s intentional “flood the zone” strategy is a headline Americans ought to understand.

The bad news? Plenty of mainstream news organizations—even ones that should damn well know better—failed the simple task of writing a fair headline that accurately summarized what Noem just proved to America, and what American citizens urgently need to know: Kristi Noem is an unqualified moron who dangerously doesn’t know fundamental Constitutional rights.

That’s it!

That’s the only takeaway from this story that truly matters. Sure, “unqualified moron” is loaded language that a news editor would probably never allow. But no matter how you slice it, it’s as true as gravity pulling down, and too many legacy media organizations failed to convey this plain truth.

Take the world’s largest news-gathering organization, The Associated Press. This is the AP’s headline:

Yikes. Technically that’s accurate. But wtf? This headline, published on the websites of countless AP-member newsrooms across the world, does not convey the objective fact that Noem is WRONG. And that really, really matters. Noem is one of the most influential “leaders” of our government, and her moronic answer makes it clear she has no fucking clue what she’s doing. AP: You get an F for this headline.

Remember, most Americans skip reading political news stories altogether—at least in a meaningful way. The only news about the death of American democracy they get is from the headlines their friends might share on social media, or that become punchlines on late-night TV. As an editor and former TV news producer, I’ve written countless headlines. Twenty years and two Trump administrations later, I’ve had it with media organizations that still believe they need to truthwash their headlines in what is now a laughable effort to appear objective.

The problem, as I hope to show you here, is that truthwashing headlines isn’t just bad journalism; it’s dangerous for our democracy. To be clear, I only expect fairness and accuracy from the news media. But as we detailed in our book Hit ‘Em Where It Hurts, lots of news organizations worry about telling the full truth because doing so might seem like they’re taking a political side. This results in unfair overcompensation, usually giving more weight to the political Right. News outlets think they appear objective, but news consumers get screwed out of getting the truths they need to keep our democracy functioning.

After seeing the AP’s crappy headline, I looked up other mainstream media headlines for this particular story, and I assigned them grades. The idea here isn’t to change the media (if only I had that much power!). The idea is for folks to process the rainbow of political headlines with a more critical eye—for you to hold your own news sources to the highest standards possible. Words are powerful, and they matter, especially in political news headlines.

First, let’s get this out of the way: Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t find any coverage of Noem’s exchange with Hassan in the premier organizations of the rightwing media ecosystem, which delivers what it says is news to millions of Americans. I found nothing from Fox News, The Wall Street Journal, NewsMax or One America News. That’s a whole different problem, but we shouldn’t consider them “news” organizations anyway.

Now onto the Noem headlines and my grades for them. And, wearing my editor hat, I added my own comments.

Grade: F (FAIL)The Associated Press: Kristi Noem says habeas corpus lets Trump ‘remove people from this country’

Buries lede & lacks critical context. Headline must convey fact that Noem is wrong

Breitbart News: US Immigration chief mistakes key legal term at Congress hearing

Improper use of “mistakes”—implies harmless ignorance. Props to rightwing Breitbart for even covering though

CBS: DHS Secretary Kristi Noem asked what habeas corpus is in Senate hearing

Who cares what she was asked? Headline should reflect how she answered!

The Economic Times: Kristi Noem spars with Senate Comm on 'Habeas Corpus' issue**

Don’t use “spars”—implies that news is the exchange itself and not Noem’s wrong answer

The Hill: Hassan, Noem lock horns over habeas corpus**

“Locking horns” isn’t the news here; the news is that a sitting secretary doesn’t know Constitution or basic civics. Also, “locked horns” can imply a stalemate. F-Minus. Go back to Journalism School!

NBC News: Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem struggles to define habeas corpus at Senate hearing

Wrong verb. Noem didn’t “struggle;” she answered with arrogant confidence and was simply wrong

Newsweek: Kristi Noem's 'Habeas Corpus' Response to Senators Raises Eyebrows**

WHY WERE EYEBROWS RAISED? Because she was laughably wrong! Fix headline to convey

New York Daily News: Kristi Noem appears not to know what ‘habeas corpus’ means**

No. Inaccurate use of “appears.” Video of exchange reveals she clearly did not know. Our job is not to give powerful people benefit of doubt

Grade: D (FAIL)HuffPost: Democratic Senator Totally Schools Kristi Noem Over This Key Constitutional Right

Noted attempt at clickbait, but the news isn’t about Noem being “schooled”; it’s about the reason Noem was schooled: she is a moron and unqualified for this job

Mother Jones: Does Kristi Noem Even Know What Habeas Corpus Is?**

No. That’s pretty fucking clear to anyone with eyes and ears. D-Minus. Almost gave you an F. Avoid rhetorical questions as headlines

NPR: DHS secretary misstates meaning of habeas corpus under Senate scrutiny

Improper verb. “Misstates” implies harmless ignorance. She is a sitting secretary who should know better. Use more accurate verb, like “incorrectly defines”

Grade: CCNBC: Noem says Trump can deport who he wants, botches what ‘habeas corpus’ means

Buries lede. Avoid double clauses. Switch clauses at least. Also, headline doesn’t indicate their assertion is wrong.

Politico: Noem defends potentially suspending habeas corpus, flubs definition as Trump’s right to ‘remove people**

Buries lede; switch clauses at least (better yet, avoid double clauses)

Grade: B

For these headlines: The verbs fumble, flub and botch are getting warmer and they’re common headline words, but they connote harmless ignorance, a mistake, or an accident. A football player fumbles a ball after catching it. It’s clear Noem never even caught the ball. Gary Johnson’s famous “What is Aleppo?” moment was a flub. Of course he knew Aleppo was a Syrian city, but in the format of a live interview his brain was trying to process what he initially thought was an unfamiliar acronym. Johnson’s was a consequential mistake, but not nearly as serious as Noem not knowing the Constitution. That’s not a mistake; it’s a disaster. Better verbs: incorrectly defines, fails, flunks

ABC: Kristi Noem fumbles habeas corpus, denies DHS will host citizenship TV showAxios: Noem botches habeas corpus questions at Senate hearing*New York Post: Kristi Noem flubs habeas corpus in Senate hearing, calls it Trump’s right to ‘remove people from this country’PBS: Noem fumbles definition of Habeas CorpusUSA Today: Kristi Noem botches definition of 'habeas corpus' at Senate hearing*Washington Post: Kristi Noem botches the definition of habeas corpus in Senate hearing**Grade: A

These headlines are all fair, objective and accurate!

BBC: Kristi Noem incorrectly defines 'habeas corpus' in Senate hearingCNN: Noem incorrectly says habeas corpus allows Trump ‘to remove people from this country’MSNBC (Maddow Blog): Kristi Noem flunks an important test on the basic meaning of habeas corpusNew York Times: Noem Incorrectly Defines Habeas Corpus as the President’s Right to Deport People*Grade: A+Daily Beast: ICE Barbie Offers Her Own Made-Up Definition of Habeas Corpus*The Cycle- On Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.