Good news everybody! We're one step closer to that state-run media and propaganda stage we've all been looking forward to! Hooray! Verizon has reached a whole new level of horrible, Facebook has decided that even the content creators don't matter anymore, and Consumer Reports has decided blanket statements are "good enough" for reviews.

Headlines:* Pixel 2 XL has some screen issues * So no one wanted Snap Spectacles? Shocker * Kaspersky lays all their cards on the table * Facebook decides to screw with content creators * Consumer Reports won't endorse Surface Book 2 * Korean banks think Newegg is a Ponzi scheme * Verizon is firing its customers * But they still love your money * Microsoft killing the Kinect * Internet-connected dog houses are apparently a thing * Kaspersky hacked by NSA * Dating apps aren’t very secure * Apple is struggling to release the iPhone X * Say goodbye to stolen packages * The FCC is making changes * Equifax was warned about vulnerabilities

Zuke’s Favorite: Weird Al tweeting about Lin Manuel Miranda and Jimmy Fallon singing Weird Al

Zohner’s Favorite: Glove and Boots is in trouble

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