You didn't know it, but there's a big problem with using a bidet . . . namely that no one knows how to use one! Leave it to the Japanese people to save you from this problem, though.

In other news #hackZuke may be starting up (thanks, Zohner), Mozilla has decided that it is now a company that has "something to do with the internet," and the National Highway Association has deemed Tesla's autopilot safer than a human. Just not ALL humans.

Headlines:* #hackZuke is coming! * Apple just works! So does 20-year-old malware on Apple! * iPhones just work! Unless you send some emoji to them! * Mozilla: Some Kind Of Internet Company * Twitter sells division it couldn't use to Google (who CAN use it?) * Verizon decides to go full on stupid with Note 7 users * Galaxy S7 Nougat rollout is halted in China * Samsung may not have courage after all: S8 to keep headphone jack * In Communist China, Pokemon Catch You! * NHTSAS deems Tesla's autopilot not to blame; actually pretty awesome * FINALLY! These bidet controls will make some sense! * "And I for one would like to welcome our new Russian overlords."

Zuke’s Favorite: Giant Cooking Robots?

Zohner’s Favorite: Logan

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