Everyone is hacked. You may have already been hacked and not even know it yet! No seriously, it probably happened while you were reading this!

Headlines:* Follow-Up: Zuke called it, VW admits performance loss * Scottstrade hacked! * Patreon hacked!! * Loop pay hacked!!! * Uber hacked!!!! * Microsoft reads Stolendroids! * Surface Book drops the mic on Apple. * Apple Car is back in the news, if not on the road. * Tesla has something to say about that * Now you can buy a crocheted dress from Amazon. Yay? * Google (Alphabet?) now owns the easiest URL ever * Google accelerated pages launch

Zuke’s Favorite: It’s full of stars!

Schmidty’s Favorite: 7 miles wide Scale Solar System Model

Zohner’s Favorite: Enjoy the best poop of your life

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