Simply Put: Recent Episodes
Ashes
Just a “phone call” checking in and talking about expanding our family, becoming a sports mom and a reminder that things are still going on in the world even if I’m not the one to listen to speak on them. Go find the people.
Plenty of quality issues and lots of appearances from little man but I was sent an email and it was a great question so there’s no time like the present to respond
wizard_bizan1 is the account I reference specifically. Also important is adnan.barq, eye.on.Palestine, Antony Loewenstein, the book “The Palestine Laboratory”, and reading about the Israel National Skin Bank. There’s a national institute of health paper on it from 2000 that’s a great place to start
Let’s talk about school and how what we think is best may not be what’s actually best. I took the conversations published with Mel from 2021 and used those (as well as lots of support from her and other education friends I have) to find a school that we were comfortable with and a school that checked the boxes of what SHE wanted to get out of school, education and finding balance. If we had thought to talk to her about what she felt she needed before we started there would have been a lot less anxiety on all sides. Sometimes it takes a tiny tot to look at you and say the most straightforward, practical thing that never occurred to you, but should have, for you to take a step back and realize you’ve forgotten it’s not just your decision and their little voice needs to be heard and honored as well.
This episode was recorded June 13th but since my daughter just started kinder that means we’ve been having this discussion quite often so there will be a follow up conversation posted this week to talk about the process of choosing a school for her and why we chose what we did for our tiny mixed kid
After 12 requests, 3 weeks, 2 new things, and 42 (now) drafts this is the best I’ve got—It wasn’t long after that song came out that people were asking me what I had to say about it and I was so fixated on finding something to say about it that was worth talking about here that I spent many hours, days, and weeks trying to stay on topic and combine all the bits together in one cohesive thing. It just didn’t work. Like the song, don’t like the song in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter but it’s important you look at why you do like it despite the controversy surrounding it. Sometimes the why matters. Sometimes why it matters is just that you’ll admit it to yourself. Texas’ favorite fat, Black, flautist has some accusations against her and there are way better people to talk about it than me so I’m going to cover the part that I’m qualified to talk about (costuming) and stay in my lane the way that white lady on the dock should have.
We went from the least stigmatized form of social service to one of the most stigmatized forms and if you don’t think this is what it’s like to actually sit across from me and have coffee (GFuel) while talking about something I feel passionate about you’d be wrong. Both programs require families to give the equivalent of their first born in terms of access to their lives and restrictions both programs have. They are meant to be a stepping off point, however, it’s often not able to be utilized that way due to restrictions imposed that will allow the programs to remain funded that weren’t intended to be there. Capitalism gonna capitalize.
The day I figured out that it didn’t have to be me against the world was a day my entire advocacy journey changed. I always knew that I had friends, family, acquaintances, and a network of advocacy-focused alums at my back but it never occurred to me to ask an insurance company for help. Which is probably why I didn’t think about it until after they offered. What a time to be alive, right?
Being a member of or ally for marginalized communities requires you to be aware of your surroundings a bit differently.
Come and have coffee with me and let’s chat about the ins and outs of navigating social services. One of the ways I’ve kept busy during my time off is by being there for my friends. While I’ll never be the one who has a bunch of extra money, I’ll always be the one willing to bring some coffee and your favorite pastry and sit with you while we figure things out. In the last 7 months I’ve assisted with job searches for people who have been laid off, quit, graduated, and gone back to school; I’ve helped people apply for SNAP, TANF, WIC, and state insurance; I’ve assisted people in finding local resources for those struggling with homelessness, those who have left abusive situations and those in varied levels of divorce. All of those things are scary and part of makes them scary is not knowing how to do them so let’s sit here and figure it out together. Even if you never need any of the resources the likelihood you know someone who May is high so let’s drink our coffee and get some documents together.
As of early May 2023 this is the biggest advocacy win with my mom. While this is a retelling of what happened, at the end, it goes over the importance of knowing the ins and outs of patient history in order to push where you can. Often the most powerful way to advocate in these (most) scenarios is by simply being more informed on the subject than everyone else. The retelling shows how important it was in this situation but also the “real time” change in the way I was treated is something that is something to expect but also appalling. Take advantage of every situation you can get the upper hand in; knowledge is power.
Criticism? Totally fine. Invalidating other people’s difficult season because, in your eyes, your life is more difficult is a garbage take. Me being open about the difficult season I’m in while being pulled 750 different ways is not invalidating you struggling with work/life balance. It’s also not invalidating the difficulty of working out of the home. But let’s stop pretending that being a stay at home parent doesn’t encompass multiple jobs that most of us couldn’t afford to outsource. I cannot do my primary job (keeping my children safe) while answering every phone call I receive and being available for everyone else who needs me. No one else does that during the working hours and expecting stay at home parents to do that at all times is such a weird take. You’d get fired for answering your phone 15 times in an hour every day about non-work related things. Come on now.
What started out as a day full of errands became a day full of losses and disappointment pretty quickly. It took me no less than 7 takes to even get something that didn’t involve some sort of unexpected interruption but that’s life. Let’s talk about that and some more content changes over my long-empty coffee cup.
It’s been a long time. Here’s a bit of where I’ve been, some more intricate explanations as to why I took time away, and a bit of where this is going in the future.
I spend a lot of time encouraging people to ask questions but sometimes I’m not always the right person to answer. Here Liz and I sit down to answer one subscribers questions. This, as well as the previous episode, has been publish with the consent of the person involved as a way to make a teachable moment extend past them. Unedited, as (almost) always, because the feedback I’ve gotten has insisted y’all like it better.
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I get knocked down and I get knocked down and I get up agaknocked down. I’m down for a small count. Probably. Maybe. Because I’m human
Disclaimer: it is my responsibility to make sure the places I go are safe for myself and my family however there are plenty of times where “allies” could have stepped in and prevented it from happening
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Just me this time. Intro to being nice v kind. Article mentioned in recording from Blackburncenter(dot)org https://www.blackburncenter.org/amp/nice-vs-kind-why-does-it-matter
“—so I went to another store”
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Let’s get on the same page! Totally my fault that I went so long without clarifying, I didn’t understand what I wasn’t being clear about before. Also, a personal update at the end.
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More racism in medicine
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Mel is back to react to the overturning of RvW. We talk about proper ways to protest, safety looking different for everyone, and the disappointment we feel in those who continue to allow this to happen and the fear we have with how far it will go before it finally stops
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Today we have Iconaklast back to talk about the importance of networking and ways to overcome some of the more common reasons people say they struggle with networking. Meanwhile, I’m using it as an opportunity to manipulate a situation to promote self-reflection and progress (for educational purposes of course).
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If you’ve managed to diversify your internet algorithms, none of this should be new information but not everyone has done that. Here’s a perspective you’ve missed if you’re only seeing various shades of peach represented in your media.
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CW: medical trauma, pregnancy loss, from that time I almost died to the other time I almost died. Visiting the time my daughter was convinced I was having twins along the way.
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Everyone draws the line somewhere when talking about who they classify as people. Some people’s line stops when we get to animals and some people’s stops well before then. Check out Patreon.com/simplyashes for more
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Special guest: Jordan Breckenridge. *at one point I mention I’m having a Labor Day baby and 100% meant Memorial Day
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Roe v Wade will be overturned but how does the wording of the draft impact other cases? Let’s talk about that, what things are considered medical abortions that some people don’t know, and where we can go from here. Look back through past podcasts where I talk about Roe v. Wade, the Hyde Amendment, and the dark roots of Planned Parenthood for more background info. This is more than just about abortions, it’s about a fundamental right to privacy that can trickle down and effect so much more than people realize. Please remember, felons can’t vote.
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The time I finally responded to an Usborne party invitation and why the copy/paste message was the equivalent of them putting a foot in their mouth.
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The reservations I have posting this unedited (or at all) are high but it’s been over a year since reading the article and it’s not getting any easier to talk about. Interracial friendships are hard. They just are and if you think they aren’t you’re likely dismissing how much the other person has to accommodate you so that you don’t notice.
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At the end of the day, I don’t care about any of these people but the discourse surrounding the issues in mostly white spaces create a streamline from white women tears to white supremancy in one situation and blame Black women for disagreements between Black men in another. For one set of people it’s “fuck around and find out” for another it’s “violence isn’t the answer.” Why is that and what are people missing? Let’s talk about it. Chelsea/Lance timestamp 4-~25 min Chris/Will timestamp ~25 min-50 min
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[recorded pre-Christmas 2021] this time Alesha and I primarily talk about the small town dynamics of where we grew up. As time goes on we move toward how it molded us all to be who we are today and it goes from laughing and joking to a more serious conversation about religion, marriage, and love language. In part 2 we will talk about how our small town upbringing was a disservice as we grew into our respective professions and the things we needed to unlearn about the world and in ourselves in order to be at peace with who we are and what we want our adult work to show.
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Recorded & Scheduled December 2021Months ago, I challenged my Patreon subscribers to have conversations with people that cost them something. Today, I get to hold up my end of the bargain and talk about the conversations that cost me something-the ones I was afraid to have but needed to. I promised I’d hold myself accountable right along with you so if you’re ready to have those conversations too, head over to Patreon [dot] com and search “Simply Ashes” to join us.
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For some, tax time means escape.
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Today we’re expanding a bit on the conversations surrounding space documents and the 1870s brick wall with an insurance librarian! If you want to know why that makes sense, want to see the sources used in the discussion, and/or want to support a Black creator during Black History Month, head on over to patreon dot com slash simply ashes to join the conversation
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Today I’m challenging Cathy to sit in her discomfort as I sit in a bit of my own while I push back against the idea that she can protect her child from experiencing racism by calling it an “adult” issue and we hear her come to an awkward realization that she cannot continue the privilege of pushing off difficult conversations with people she loves without harming her daughter and jeopardizing her safety.
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Melissa currently works as a teacher in a dual language, fairly affluent school district in Washington and has been an advocate for diversity and equity surrounding marginalized communities within her school district. Today we’re talking about the model-minority myth, cultural differences in education, the importance of recognizing cultural differences while in the classroom, and, later, we touch on how our own self awareness contributes to the way we parent our children. For more resources regarding what we’ve mentioned, head over to Patreon.com/simplyashes and join the conversation!
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We’re hopping back where we left off last month with the second half of Jordan’s recording only this time we change gears from speaking about Brown v Board to talking about professors obligations to their students while teaching the tougher bits of the classics. We talk about the importance of facilitating conversations responsibly, delve into a bit of friendship backgrounds, and talk about discovering hard limits and boundaries in academia.
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CW: Medical Trauma, mention of miscarriage
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@/drcrim3 Tiktok mentioned: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2mogTM/
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For the longest there’s been one question in my inbox that I’ve avoided, “who are you outside of all this” and I finally got to a point where I know myself enough to answer. It may not be the answer people are hoping for but, in this season, it’s who I am.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
How a phone call allowed me to unclench my jaw and take a deep breath for the first time in over a decade.
Link to gofundme: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-raise-burial-and-memorial-funds?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer
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BUCK v. BELL, Superintendent of State Colony Epileptics and Feeble Minded. | Supreme Court | US Law | LII / Legal Information Institute (cornell.edu) Buck v. Bell (1927) | The Embryo Project Encyclopedia (asu.edu) The History & Impact of Planned Parenthood Immigration Reform (plannedparenthoodaction.org)
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How one man picked the wrong bitch at the wrong time: Planned Parenthood edition.
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We re-recorded the first one when we thought all was lost but since this covers some of the same things in a different way, I wanted to include this as well.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Today Rue’s godparent taking on hosting duties while I sit second seat to talk about some of the struggles we’ve overcome together as we’ve each grown to be stronger advocates in our own right. We talk about where we’ve butted heads and how we’ve had to work on new ways to communicate with each other as we’ve grown and, most importantly, talk about the catalyst when it came to my decision about who will and will not be in my daughter’s life.
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“Your first thought is what society has conditioned you to think, the second is who you are as a person”
Answering a hard hitting question from a subscriber.
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When we challenge ourselves to get uncomfortable and grow together good things happen. Here’s what it can look like on the other side.
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We all fuck up sometimes. What’s important is admitting it and making sure you don’t continue to make the same mistakes.
Privilege isn’t a bad word but refusing to believe it exist damages us all
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We’re talking about some interesting police interactions I had while working on FACTOR and breaking down a bit of why “Blue Lives Matter” is nonsense. My skin isn’t a uniform. I can’t take it off to blend in.
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Today we’re covering a brief history of the harm the medical community has done to POC and taking a look into why there has been hesitancy within the POC communities in regards to medical advances and why attributing that hesitancy to the anti-vaccine movement is problematic and short-sighted. **Special thanks to MT, the Simply Answered-tier Patreon subscriber who asked that I cover this topic.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Today we’re talking about our work with Cedar Crest, our activism, our passion, and our frustrations. Special guest: Leni Johnson-Nadeau
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I wasn’t able to finalize a simply more post today so it’s being replaced with this unedited car recording featuring my daughter. I talk about Dr. Seuss, toxic family members, and give a bit of insight into how overt racism becomes casual microaggressions as time goes on.
I give real world examples of how the expectation of Black people to educate white people regarding Black history is taught and how important it is for white educators to cover the topics responsibly and without relying on non-consenting Black people to push the conversation forward
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Today’s episode is unedited and a bit all over the place. This has been a rollercoaster of a last 2 weeks and I’m not quite ready to be back. This week i had planned on picking up by talking about COVID and racism as I planned for last week but given the ties both of those have to my family, this was just not the time.
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Today we clean up a loose end from last week and talk about the importance of community involvement in meeting needs to reduce crime and add equity to the neighborhood.
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Today we’re diving a bit deeper into the diversity panel, some things that were said, a bit about my fellow panelists, and the interesting ways we all managed to be involved in the same things yet never work with each other.
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On the 14th I was asked to speak as a panelist at my Alma Mater but the decision was ultimately that it wouldn’t be recorded. Here is the bones of that speech, regiven for those who missed it.
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Let’s talk about how what’s going on in regards to the election is very much a white problem and why POC don’t want to talk about it.
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Let’s chat about the dumpster fire of a coup attempt that happened yesterday at the United States Capitol Building
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Overview of some changes coming to Simply Put, catching up on the new content, and talking about self care during the holidays.
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Recorded the night Presidential Nominee and Former Vice President Biden became known as President-Elect Biden before Current President Trump lost his goddamn mind. We cover a bit about how religious conservativism played into Trump’s election and rise into an almost God-like figure in modern society.
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My husband and I talk about how having a child in a Trump presidency has changed us as people, what we’ve learned about ourselves, and what’s driven us to further activism on a large scale.
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Here’s the second part of last week’s drunk talk. We cover a bit more on Big Gretch and the clusterfuck that is Michigan, systemic racism, and the differences in the way we raise our kids. If you’re looking for the link the content Alyssa is talking about, check out iconaklast on TikTok and IG
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Part Two coming next week!
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Let’s talk about it: Mental Health Awareness Day and National Coming Out Days were both this weekend.
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Storytime: We talk about the time I accompanied a friend to Planned Parenthood for their abortion services
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Last night was the US Presidential Debate. It was a shitshow to say the least but let’s talk about what I got out of that and what changes coming to Simply Ashes.
Why the lack of diversity in all non-visual media is harmful to children of color and why it teaches white supremacy.
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We revisit my labor and delivery story and talk about how much impact small sample sizes and shite data can have on the quality of care in the US health system.
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We’re exhausted. Do better.
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savethechildren #saveourchildren
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Let’s talk about something new.
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What it was like being the only brown kid in American history. Damages of whitewashing history to young POC.
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Introduction & thanks
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