My family, who look like me, regularly commented on my skin tone. This isn't out of the ordinary for many South Asians families where they regard lighter skin to be beautiful (and my skin is not light).
In every day conversation I have dealt with comments from all ethnicities and races about skin colour, hair, food, etc. It's so common that I didn't even realise how common it was until seeing how common it was.
I didn't like these comments, even from my family or close friends. And this didn't mean that I was exempt from this behaviour. Not only did it bother me but I also contributed to the commonplaceness of such comments.
With my own set of rules, I made it ok when and where to make comments about other people's bodies. When you have your own rules and don't really know them, it gets kind of hard to see what's going on when it comes to how we want to establish personal boundaries in our lives. It's not as easy as following a prescribed set of rules.
Resource(s):
The Cauldron of Ethnicity in the Modern World by Manning Nash (The University of Chicago Press)
I’m T. Vyas, you can call me T became most people do. I’m, as you’ve guessed, a person of colour who looks forward to chatting with you about some things identity, some things colour and ALL things Love! Tune in Tuesdays for a new episode! In the meantime, you can find me on Instagram @bareinmind.podcast
Website: bareinmindpodcast.com